10 Ridiculously Overpriced Pet Products

By Paul Michael on 18 February 2015 0 comments

Americans love their pets. In fact, the estimated amount we spent on our pets in 2014 was almost $60 billion. That's a whole lot of dog treats and cat toys. However, while a lot of those purchases were worth the money, some were a little exorbitant to say the least. (See also: 7 Homemade Pet Toys That Are Cheaper and Better Than Storebought)

With money being tight for so many of us these days, we have to make the best financial choices for ourselves, whilst keeping the wellbeing of our pets top of mind. With that being said, the following 10 products should be avoided. Not only are they insanely overpriced, they're also wasted on animals that really don't care if they eat prime rib or "prime cuts" of mystery meat in jelly.

1. Persian Lamb and Mink Dog Coat — $995

Here's the thing about dogs; they already have a coat. Nature provided them with a way of keeping warm, and they can shed the volume of this coat in the warmer months to stay a little cooler. So providing a dog with a coat, well, that's like wearing a jacket on top of your jacket. Admittedly, sometimes in extreme weather, you may want to cover your pooch with a dog jacket. That's often more for your own peace of mind than the dog's safety. But if you do, avoid a $1000 coat made from lamb's wool and mink. It looks ridiculous, it costs an arm and a leg, and the dog won't care!

2. Ebano Intreccio Scolpito Dog Collar — $420

The translation means "carved ebony." That's a tad confusing when you look at the actual collar and realize that it's just a leather collar. Oh, but not just any leather collar. This collar costs $420. The description says that it is "sculpted to perfection" and is "extremely strong, resistant, and beautiful." For $420, it should walk the dog while you sit back and enjoy a coffee and a donut.

3. The Louis XV Pet Pavilion Dog Bed — $23,995

Styled after an 18th Century French commode (which is actually a chest of drawers, not a toilet), this lavish dog bed will set you back the price of a new 2015 Ford Escape. However, unlike the SUV, this beautifully carved dog bed does… well, nothing. It just sits there, looking pretty (if you like that sort of thing) and is a shining example that you have money to burn. Only for the very rich, and very stupid.

4. Sexy Beast Dog Perfume — $65

You don't have to spend hundreds of dollars to waste money. This purchase will set you back just $65, but you may as well flush your money down the toilet. Touted as a "unisex pet fragrance," Sexy Beast is available in 1.7 ounce and 3.4 ounce sizes. It is a blend of "bergamot and vanilla-infused musk, combined with natural patchouli, mandarin, and nutmeg oils." What a waste of time. Give your dog a bath. Or if they really hum and that doesn't work, you'd be better off spraying them with a little air freshener or Febreze. Save your money for fragrances humans can wear.

5. Swarovski Crystal Cat Flap — $1,650

If you own a cat or two, you know that cat flaps are not exactly the height of design elegance. They're functional, as they should be. They serve the purpose of letting the cat come in and out of the room or house without having to keep the door open. Ideally, they go unnoticed. Unless, however, you shell out a small fortune for one of these hideous things. Not only does it look like it cost a few bucks from a discount store, it doesn't even hide the full cat flap!

6. The 8' x 10' Luxury Dog House Kit — $3,399

The most insulting thing about that dog house is the word "kit." For that kind of money, you should have it delivered to your dog fully assembled, and be treated to dinner at a five-star restaurant. But no, you have to build this luxury pooch palace yourself. It's not even painted! It features wood wall framing, wood trusses, and an adult entrance door to check in on your pampered best friend.

7. The Cat Cabin — $1,400

Handmade with wood and liana (a kind of vine) this cosy cat cabin features a dirt repellent pillow and multiple entrance and exit points. It is made by HomeBasic, a German company, and as it is woven by German artisans, you know the cost is going towards construction and not raw materials. After all, it's basically wicker and rattan.

8. Designer Poodle Tiara — $4.2 million

This kind of extravagant spending is obscene. When you consider the amount of people in this world who are poor and hungry, throwing away millions of dollars on an ornament for a dog makes absolutely no sense. The dog has no idea what it's wearing, or why. It's simply a way for the owners to say "Look how much money we have." With any luck, the dog will bury it somewhere in the back garden and make the owners go digging.

9. Versace Barocco Pet Bowl — $754

What is more important? The food you give your pet, or the dish you serve it in? If you answered with the latter, congratulations… you've got more money than sense. Feed your pet a healthy diet and serve it in a dish that costs $20 or less. Something sturdy. Not a dish inlaid with gold. The write-up even says "Your cat may not know the difference, but you will, right?" Yes, you should know better.

10. Pet Resorts — $1,000 and Up

If you're off on vacation but can't bring your dog or cat with you, why not send them on their own holiday? Why not? Because it's insane. Places like Paradise Ranch take away that guilty feeling by pampering your pet for days, or even weeks, with the highest of care. Services like "human companionship while they sleep" and "full service spas" ensure that your dog will have a confusing but comfortable time while you're away. Remember… pets are not people; you don't treat them the way you want to be treated, you treat them the way they need to be cared for. Boogie board lessons are not fun; they're strange and harrowing.

What's the most you've ever spent on stuff for a pup or a kitty?

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