10 Social Blunders to Stop Making by 30
There are things we get away with in our 20s — like dancing on bar tops and bingeing on 4:00 a.m. pizza (or maybe that was just me) — that just aren't acceptable in our 30s. What are they? Take a look at these 10 social mistakes to stop making by age 30. Leave some of your own suggestions in the comments below!
1. Engaging in Petty Arguments With Friends and Family
Bottom line — you're grown, and under no circumstance should you engage in petty arguments with your friends or family. You're better than that. Stay above that fray, and don't let negativity drag you down. If need be, eliminate people who aren't bringing out the best in you.
2. Dating (and Sleeping With) Tons of People
While exploring relationships, dating, and hooking up frequently in your 20s is acceptable (and necessary, in my opinion, as long as it's done safely), it's not a good look in your 30s. That's not to say that you have to be settled down — that's your prerogative — but you should at least be slowed down, lest you want to earn a reputation that's hard to live down and quite unbecoming of a person your age.
Slowly back away from the Tinder and nobody will get hurt.
3. Making Bad Impulse Decisions
Remember those baller weekends when you'd go out with your buddies, drop a few Benjies on booze and other nighttime fun, and wake up 12 hours later just in time to rinse and repeat? Yeeeah. Those days are over, pal. But not just because at age 30 you should be more mature and less apt to engage in such activities. Rather, because when you're in your 30s, you've established a professional and hopefully successful life. You've got much more to lose by making stupid decisions.
4. Publishing Detrimental Posts to Social Media
I know you've heard this one before — how under no circumstances you should be posting drunk pics or publishing offensive posts to social media — yet so many people still do it, much to their future selves' dismay. This kind of social media activity isn't just immature — it can make you look unstable, and subsequently unhireable, if you're not careful.
Jobvite recently conducted a study and found that 93% percent of recruiters check the social media profiles of prospective hires. It goes without saying that employees should be careful what they post to their social networks — especially when it comes to photos and comments that could serve as a red flag to potential employers.
5. Letting Your Parents Pay for Dinner
Mom and Dad picked up the tab for 18 years, bought your groceries and took you to dinner frequently during college, and likely gave a helping hand here and there a few years post-college too. Now it's time to give thanks — with your wallet.
6. Being Systematically Rude and Ill-Mannered
It's not hard being nice or polite, yet a decent portion of the population can't seem to master those skills. Stay ahead of the class by saying please and thank you, holding the door open for strangers, showing up to parties with a gift for the host, sending a note of thanks for a gift you've received, and otherwise greeting people with a smile to acknowledge that they exist. Because it's, like, literally the least we can do.
7. Living at Home With Mom and Dad
Okay, so you needed a little more time out of college to get on your feet. That's acceptable. What's not acceptable is living in your parents' house in your 30s. That's not a result of circumstance, like when you couldn't find a job because you didn't have enough experience. It's a result of laziness at this age, and if you were my kid you'd be homeless.
8. Asking Someone You Just Met to Keep Repeating Their Name
Admittedly this is something I need to teach myself. Even when I've asked the person their name twice, it's still hard for me to remember. Consider me a work in progress.
One tactic I try to use is saying the person's name out loud several times to drill it into my brain. Works most of the time. When I don't have a glass of wine in my hand.
9. Forgetting to Follow-Up
An extension of adopting a generally polite and mannered demeanor, extending your appreciation post-event is important. More than anything else, it shows that you care and that you're considerate, and in many circumstances that will make you a standout.
10. Submitting to Peer Pressure and Pack Mentality
Given our carefree and often reckless attitudes in our 20s, it's easy to give into peer pressure — especially if you're trying to fit into a certain group — and subscribe to a pack mentality, which for many of us was established in high school and college as a result of athletics and other extracurriculars. But in your 30s, you really ought to be your own person, free thinking and independent. It doesn't mean you have to abandon your friends altogether, but you certainly shouldn't be reliant on them so much socially that you can't do anything without them.
"Starting in early childhood and continuing throughout the lifespan, we, as humans, are almost programmed to look to others for an identity or at least some ideas on how to interact with and function in the world," says child and adolescent therapist Támara Hill. "Sadly, many 20-somethings struggle with identity and often look to other youths for 'inspiration' on how to be."
Studies show, however, that by the time we adults reach age 30, we should have developed some idea of who we are, how we want to present ourselves to the world, and what goals we would like to achieve.
"Research suggests that the adult brain reaches full development by the age of 25," Hill continues. "It is more likely that by age 25, young adults are more capable of approaching the world from a more adult perspective. Our prefrontal cortex — the area of the brain that controls impulses, decision making, personality, planning, and a host of other significant skills and characteristics — is more fully developed by age 25. By 30, adults should be more capable of separating from the 'pack' and creating their own identity and life goals."
What other social mistakes do we need to stop making by age 30?
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