25 Signs That You've Been at the Same Job Too Long
We live in an age of short attention spans, low patience, instant gratification, and unrealistic expectations. Duration of employment is at an all-time low, and most of us don't make it past the two-year mark, on average. That being said, we've surely been around the guy or gal who has simply just been around too long. And just maybe, that guy or gal is you! (See also: 10 Important Signs That Your Job Sucks)
That's right, without realizing it, there might be signs that you've reached the limit on your current job, and it might be time to consider an employer or a career change. What follows are some warning signs that the writing is on the wall (all meant to be humorous, but some might be painfully true):
- You start to refer to all new hires as "pups" and "spring chickens."
- You play office trivia at lunch with other tenured folk just to make the "pups" and "spring chickens" feel out of place.
- They ran out of clever title changes to make you feel special about doing the same work.
- You start getting plaques for how long you've been around.
- They start naming plants around the office after you as some sort of twisted memorial.
- You stop caring that last night's leftover fish that you're microwaving for lunch stinks up the entire break room.
- You work in a company of thousands of people, you have a common first name, and your email alias is your first name.
- You bring up the "office softball game from 10 years ago," only to sadly realize mid-thought that nobody you're talking to was even there 10 years ago.
- HR has to tell you to "use or lose" your vacation days.
- You know everyone's kids' names, and remember them.
- You only stick around for the sole purpose of getting drunk and making an ass out of yourself at the annual Holiday party.
- You're the only person the IT guy completely avoids because he's scared of you.
- There are empty liquor bottles in your cubicle...and you just don't care.
- You can't remember when you didn't spend an hour a day at watching YouTube videos at work.
- You reminisce about the '80s all the time, only to painfully realize later that most of the people you work with were actually born in the late '80s.
- Your boss is younger than you. Yeah....
- You remember actually cashing a paycheck from the same employer.
- You get nostalgic about how things used to be...and those things used to really suck back then.
- You are grandfathered in to an actual pension. Man, those were nice.
- You tell your boss about a job offer you received and they just laugh.
- Business casual now means jeans and a polo shirt.
- You brought your kid to work on "bring your kid to work day" when they started school but they couldn't make this year's because they have their own job now.
- You reference a scene in Office Space, comparing it to your job, at least once a week.
- You stop getting performance reviews because your boss ran out of BS suggestions for "areas to improve."
- 9-to-5 literally means 9-to-5.
What are some other painfully humorous revelations you've had that told you you've simply been around too long?
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