budgeting. It's something that has evolved over the 17 years and involves give and take on both our parts. He has a tendency to be a spender, while I am more of a saver. He is more of a big ticket item person, whereas I have a tendency when I spend to nickel and dime our budget to death. We take turns at getting our goals accomplished. After he gets his hunting rifle I will get some new cabinetry in the kitchen.

During the first 5 years of our marriage we didn't even have a joint account. He would pay some bills and I would be responsible for others. I needed the separation though because I watched my mother and saw what being financially dependant on my father did to her. It took me a while to realize I'm not her and he's not him and that our problems would be uniquely ours.

Budgets are hot but rare. The fact that my guy would shop around or wait for a sale was hot. And having large consumer debt is a turn-off, but he had none.

He doesn't do budgets, though. He has an automatic withdrawal for retirement and another one for other investments and otherwise lives paycheck to paycheck.

Mostly I am attracted to people with big brains and in my generation, that means computer programmers. Programming is boring but at least most of those guys don't blow a lot of money preening and buying stupid cars. (At least, by the time they start buying stupid cars, they have so much money that it's just a small dent.)

Budgets are definitely hot. My boyfriend and I both outline our expenses for the month, each month. We can't afford not to. I'm in the process of paying off a ridiculous amount of credit card debt and he is going to school full-time on the GI Bill. We have modest financial goals for the future and we understand that only patience and avoiding frivolous spending will get us there.

When we started dating, getting ahead financially was not even close to being a reason for spending time together. I've been raised to know the importance of supporting myself. And there's no way in hell my boyfriend would pay for my gym membership; why the heck should he?

And although neither of us have the financial freedom to do all of the things we really want to do (yet!), we're still incredibly happy. Until we're able to do things like buy a home and travel, we're perfectly content being frugal homebodies.

After 19+ years of marriage I wish I could get my wife to see what a help a budget would be. I guess I just mentally budget and adjust to compensate. I would not say budgeting would attract me to someone. She grew up with nothing and I was fortunate, now she feels that if she earned it she should get to spend what she wants. It's gotten worse over the years as our incomes have increased. It's a scary thought if they decrease, we don't have cc debt but do owe about 12k on two cars (7k and 5k) once they are paid off I will feel much better.

Budgets are sexy! I'm lucky in that most of my hobbies are free--going to public parks, using libraries, taking walks around the city, hiking and backpacking, dancing in my room (with the door closed). But I also make conscious decisions to save money and be responsible, too, especially on my teacher's salary. I would love to find a nice guy with a similar mindset. My ideal would be to find someone else with the dream of living frugally and hopefully retiring early.

Good luck everyone!

Having been through some times when money was very tight, the one thing that got us through was having a budget. And even with the tightest budgets, it's possible, and even easy to have fun. How do I know this? Because in the not too distant past, I supported myself and my two daughters on a "below poverty level" income, and we not only survived, but thrived and had fun! Things have improved since those days, but the budget continues to be an important tool to ensure that there is always enough money to enjoy the wonderful things life has to offer!

Budgets are hot, but we never before discussed it. However, we do now. We have become very frugal and budget wisely.

when you have two people with two entirely different life experiences. It's kind of funny reading about your wife because I grew up in a household that had very little and I am the planner in our relationship(I hate having a mortgage and car payment hanging over our heads). My husband grew up with a father that had some finanjcial means so it has been a journey to get him to understand budgeting.

Lindsey,

For some reason my reply didn't go under matt's. Feel free to delete my second comment if need be and this one for the purpose of the giveaway.

I just thought it was interesting that two people could have similar life experiences and upbringing and get two entirely different perspectives from it as a result. Vive' la difference.

Budgets just plain suck. There is no way around it. But it is a necessity for most. Think about it, wouldn't you like a HUGE piece(s) of dark chocolate truffle cake everyday? But you know you will eat yourself into Richard Simmons' spotlight. We save because we have too, not because we want to. The only joy comes when you are in the black and someone reminds you of how bad it is in the red.

There's nothing wrong with having a budget in my opinion. If I didn't have one I wouldn't be sure where my money is going, which would seriously hinder meeting any future monetary goals. I'd rather do my own pedicures and save the money...believe me most guys aren't going to notice the difference. If one does, then I'm guessing that's not the type of guy I'd be dating anyway! When I do settle down with someone, I'd hope that he would be financially responsible. Making a lot of money does not necessarily indicate financial stability. I want a nice, long comfortable retirement.

People need to learn that budgeting is the new trend. It's cool to save money. Because then you actually HAVE some.

If a girl was high maintenance, financially foolish, or wasteful, i wouldnt be interested in being with her long term.

so while my girl and i dont budget, she is good with money and so am I. There is no friction b/c our goals are aligned.

Since I have always lived very simply, I always had money to save. My partner is the same, but I had to help him along boosting his income (I sent him to become a Nurse).

That was 23 years ago. In retrospect, I wish I has spent more along the way, and just stashed my saving into TIPS or something like that, and not worried about what investments to purchase. The investment racket is an insider's game....and I was as far from an insider as possible.

So when the crash of 2007 came, I suffered when I could have been surrounded with a lot more of what actually interests me.

I have never been sure exactly WHY I have been saving, I really don't have a goal, so it was a mistake to not live more in the NOW.

Hot, hot hot!

While the word 'budget' is not very sexy, the results certainly can be. My husband had a totally spendthrift previous wife who left him incredibly in debt. By the time I met him, he had pretty much paid it off but hadn't learned to actually manage his money himself. Through a few object lessons - like, oh, you don't have any money to go on vacation with me? Maybe you should set aside a few bucks each month for that purpose. Bye. -- he learned to plan ahead for expenses.

We've always had his, hers and ours bank accounts. What the household needs gets deposited by each of us into the 'ours' account. Household includes joint goals, like vacations, new appliances/furniture for the house, gifts to families, etc. as well as food, utilities, mortgage, etc. The household contribution was based proportionally so if one of us made a lot more than the other, that person contributed more. What's left in "his' and 'hers' is spent as each of us sees fit. Saves enormously on arguments.

Consequently, we are now pretty comfortable and haven't had a serious money disagreement in years.

It wasn't a factor at all during our relationship until we started living together. Then his lavish spending was an issue. It still is to some extent, but he has gotten much better about his spending.

I hate budgets, but every time I've tried to live without one I've paid a high price. So I don't know if I'll ever enjoy the act of planning and accounting for every nickel, but I recognize that it needs to be done. It can mean some tense moments and giving up things we want, but budgets are like breathing--don't stop or you'll regret it.

No, budgets aren't hot. When someone has this magical invisible bottomless pocket to splash cash around with gay abandon, that's exciting and sexy and that's going to make you want to hang around this enigmatic free sprit (and reap some of the rewards).

Of course, that's also a difficult façade to maintain and usually only lasts a little time. Then a hole is burnt through that not so magical pocket. What's left then?

I don't think budgets are meant to be hot. Is that really the point? It's about something slightly less sexy but definitely more long-lasting and therefore satisfying.

and will hopefully continue to be so. I love that I'm taking control of my financial future and security at such a young age.

These are definitely hot right now, but they aren't easy to stick to, unfortunately. I'd put these on the same level as going to the dentist or getting my car fixed. Not fun...

We were pretty dumb about finances when we first married, not spendthrifts, just oblivious. Our ability to budget and plan grew over the years and it's brought us closer, improved communication, helped us establish lifegoals and priorities. We budget rather tightly, as it's great to have what you need in hand when you need it. Like when our car died, and we had to dig in to find the cash. There's power in being able to negotiate because you're paying cash up front. You already know your limits. Married life has enough challenges in it, squabbling over money doesn't have to be one of them.

I got my financial house in order around the same time my boyfriend starting thinking about proposing to me. I'm not saying they're directly related at all, but knowing that we've both got our heads on straight certainly contributes to a healthy relationship and makes the future look much brighter than it might otherwise.

We don't have a strict monthly budget but we do write down where every penny from our (separate for now) spending goes. We may not be limiting ourselves much but at least we're honest.

When first married, my wife and I had plenty of money to do whatever we wanted. But then we bought a house and had to tighten out belts.

But at the same time we wanted to furnish the house with a bunch of cool stuff. So we set up a bunch of different savings accounts: Vacation, Furniture & Bulldog.

In about two years (with modest salaries) we went skiing w/friends, bought a couple nice pieces of furniture and welcomed Sophie the Wonderdog into our home.

It was great!

Then we added layoffs and kids into the mix and our saving went the way of the dodo bird.

But we're back on track!

I think this sums it up: When i first reached an age where i was being proposed to by a few of my boyfriends, a common statement of theirs was: "you can have anything you want." one of them, however, said, "you can have anything you want -- except if you want to do one of those million dollar deals of yours, then you have to discuss it with my uncle (as his uncle controlled the family money)." All people are on some kind of a "budget". It doesn't matter what their income is. If you have a billion and you spend a billion plus more, obviously you will be left with zero or subzero and may end up in a lot of trouble. It's not really dollar for dollar, its percentages of what ANYBODY has. understanding that "budgeting" of any sort exists shows that at least you are thinking about more than just your "pleasures" and have a clue.

with my first husband, i think personal finance was definitely part of the bigger picture. it WAS keeping up with jones and making the right choice. we had everything in common, but "choosing" each other for other reasons as well was part of it.

with my second husband we had a lot in common as far as outlook goes, but we married for totally different reasons. we didn't sign a pre-nup or anything. we just got married, because we wanted to have a marriage. the "wedding" wasn't even important, we had a reception a couple of months later.

single

cake is good

budgets are sucky