Classy Dating on a Budget

by Myscha Theriault on 2 February 2010 19 comments

Has random dating with the dinner and a movie routine got you down? Tired of dropping seventy-five to a hundred bucks several times a month on people you don’t even know yet, but don’t want to look like a cheapskate? Boy, have I got your back. Read on for fresh ideas and resource links for classy dating on a budget you can live with.

Let’s be honest. Nobody wants to look like a cheapskate right out of the relationship gate, but dropping big bucks on someone you’ve just met is a major budget decision for many. Factor in a few dates that don’t go so well, and you can consider your monthly budget blown.

By the same token, while most budget conscious singles want the person they are considering moving forward with to be financially responsible, very few people want their newly introduced date to openly stuff snacks in their pockets and point out how frugal they’re being before heading into the movie theater. Ditto on the coupon for the first dinner out. It’s just tacky. Here are some classy dating suggestions that married and single people alike can use, as well as some resource links to additional budget dating ideas.

Annual Passes

These offer tremendous value, and are a fantastic strategy for singles wanting a break from the standard dinner and a movie at a hundred bucks a pop. Having a set of passes to a favored local attraction allows you unlimited access to a place you enjoy. It’s also a quality date you can feel proud about providing, particularly in a new relationship.

Consider picking up two or three sets of passes to a variety of places. This gives you a repertoire of dates to have on hand when getting to know someone. Throw in a few walks in the park and dinners at home and you’re easily set for four-six weeks. More than enough time for both of you to decide if you want to move forward.

We recently picked up season passes to the zoo for forty dollars each. Eighty dollars might appear pricey, but remember we paid less for a year’s entertainment than most people do for the standard evening out. We also have annual passes to the Kennedy Space Center, and are considering ones to the local art museum or Busch Gardens, which allow residents to pay for a day and visit a world class theme park all year at no additional cost.

Wine Tasting

Taking a scenic drive to a vineyard for a scheduled wine tasting is a classy date in anyone’s book. Enjoy the experience and pick up a bottle or two. You’ll spend way less than at a restaurant or wine store for a quality bottle, and can ask the staff for menu pairing suggestions. Stop at the farmer’s market on the way home to pick up ingredients to make a dinner that matches the wine you purchased. Or, if you have some quality ingredients you picked up in advance to make a nice dinner for two, your agenda can be to pick out something at the vineyard to pair with your pre-planned menu. Here's a helpful list of wine pairings for virtually any menu.

Many vineyards offer tastings without a fee. Those that do charge usually keep it to a nominal level and include a commemorative glass for each person. I don’t recall ever paying over ten dollars total as a couple. Usually it’s less than that. Wine tasting is a gracious, elegant way to spend the day that will end up costing you significantly less money than dinner at a chain restaurant and evening movie rates. It’s also more memorable. For more ideas, check out Simple Tips for Buying Great Affordable Wine and Wines that Stand Up to Spicy Foods.

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Coffee Houses

For those who love coffee, this is a great way to meet up with another couple and enjoy great coffee, quality conversation, and perhaps a baked good. The tab is less than a full dinner out, but the atmosphere can be superior and the menu is suitably decadent. There used to be a great one in Portland, Maine where they had musicians playing for tips as well. It was a great place to hang out, and made for a nice activity after hitting the second-run movie theater for two bucks per ticket. If you’re new in town, it’s also possible to save money at Starbucks while not looking cheap to your date, and their stores are usually in convenient, easy to find locations.

Walk with a Purpose

Whether hiking in nature or strolling through a scenic town, having an agenda at the mid-point is a great way to break things up. When I lived on Guam and the group of people I socialized with were into the whole hiking thing, I always enjoyed the jungle hikes that had something to do when we got where we were going. A waterfall, underground cave swimming, snorkeling, whatever. Just something. This same idea can be applied to other situations. Strolling through an art community to get to the concert in the park, or up a hill to enjoy a scenic overview for a picnic are a couple of ideas.

Live Theater

If you’re lucky enough to live somewhere with a thriving independent theater scene, this will be uber affordable for you. Even if you end up dropping twenty bucks on tickets though, you’re still spending less than movie tickets and theater snacks. Your date will be way more elegant as well. The cool thing about live plays and dance performances is that because the activity is a more elegant one, and you’ll be getting dressed up anyway, meeting with another couple at one home or another for cocktails and finger foods really won’t appear cheap at all. In fact, you can work it in as a “progressive event” evening and use another home for coffee and cake afterward.

Related Readings

Do you have your own stylish dating idea to save money while going out in style? Share your link or tip for classy dating on a budget below and keep the conversation going.

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Additional photo credits: Yoga 4 Art, Jon Rawlinson
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Guest's picture

I like the annual pass idea and have used that before.

One that is mostly free is sightseeing. Head to New York City and go see the buildings, Central Park, statue of liberty. Use the subway or buses and it's inexpensive. There are many great places in Manhattan to eat on the cheap too. Lots of memories and pictures for not a lot of $$. Take the train to get there. Same thing for San Francisco, Seattle, and Chicago. The cool thing is that it takes up an entire day and if you work it right it will cost you under $80 total. Of course, there is the temptation to eat something really good or go shopping, but you'll find out a lot about your date...

Myscha Theriault's picture

Good call on the city sight seeing, particularly if it's a city you know well, and one that has some quality sights to see.

You can also follow me on Twitter and Trek Hound.

Guest's picture

The best date is one that the other person will remember, and one that he or she can BOAST ABOUT to others. A good movie, eh. A good restaurant, eh. A live theatre show at a quaint little theatre he or she has never attended before, followed by a romantic walk around the art district? Outstanding (and cheap).

Myscha Theriault's picture

Absolutely, Robert. I couldn't agree more. Cookie cutter dates are not only less memorable, but the price tag is usually higher than a live indie production or something equally unique. What's up with that?

You can also follow me on Twitter and Trek Hound.

Guest's picture

Love the wine tasting idea! My fiancé and I did that and it was really fun.

During the fall we went to a local Cider Mill. Admission and parking was free, so that was awesome. We did the wine tasting there and had a great time--it was only a couple dollars each to taste 3 different wines. The best part- we were able to pick up some edible souvenirs without breaking the bank!

Myscha Theriault's picture

I'm with you, Amy. My husband and I LOVE to go wine tasting. I used to think I had to be some big expert, but that's not the case. We started going when we lived in Italy, and now enjoy going here in the States when we have the chance. While it's a nice stylish thing to do, it's not as formal and stuffy as one might think if they've never been. Yup, wine tasting rocks.

You can also follow me on Twitter and Trek Hound.

Julie Rains's picture

I love these ideas too. And at the risk of losing my frugal license, I agree about the coupon on the first date; being creative is much more impressive. And, even though I don't live in a big city, we do have access to the things you mentioned: local wineries, hikes in town or nearby mountains, and live theater in particular. 

Myscha Theriault's picture

So glad to know I have company on the first date coupon issue. However, this topic has now got me thinking about creative ways coupon use could be worked into the game earlier on in the relationship than normal without being cheap. I have a few ideas, but not enough for a post. Let me put the old thinking cap on . . .

You can also follow me on Twitter and Trek Hound.

Guest's picture

Great article! I especially appreciate the suggestions for first (and early) dates. It's great to have tasteful ideas for getting to know another adult without making a huge financial or erotic commitment before you even know the person. I prefer an activity that can swing toward "romantic" or "just friends" depending on how we hit it off. My other criterion is that we need to be able to talk -- if not the whole time, then at least after the performance, etc. I really can't get to know someone if we're both just staring at a movie screen.

Thanks again!

Guest's picture

These are some really awesome tips! I think I will definitely try the wine tasting tip with my girlfriend. I never realized that it was so cheap to go tasting. For those that like to go out to dinner restaurants.com is a great way to save money eating out. My girlfriend and I love trying out new places and you can sometimes get $25 coupons for as little as $5. Just remember to read the restrictions.

Guest's picture

wine testing is such a good idea it's cheap and you'll both enjoy the wine and the idea. although walking on purpose is also a classic and great.

Guest's picture

I recently took a girl I met on NYE out on a first date to salsa dancing. I heard about it from a friend and although have never tried before, figured it would be something completely different, new, and hopefully fun. Big risk that it could be great or could be a huge fail. It was $10 a person for a night of lessons and dancing, pretty cheap. The whole date ended up costing a lot with drinks and apps involved but those didn't have to happen, I just chose to go for it. Anyways, turned out she loved the uniqueness of the date. Anything that is new and diff and rememorable will be appreciated by the girls.

Guest's picture

Coupons on a first date would be a big turnoff for me. Explain to your date that you usually don't spend much money on going out because you want to live a debt free lifestyle. Enjoy one night of "normal" living so you don't turn away mr. or mrs. right before they get to know you. On my pf blog, I am tracking my debt elimination program. I will be debt free in 2012 just in time for the end of the world.

Dollars not Debt

Myscha Theriault's picture

Way to go, Craig. Salsa dancing sounds like a fantastic first date idea. I'm sure she was impressed and entertained.

You can also follow me on Twitter and Trek Hound.

Sonja Stewart's picture

Great article, Myscha!  I am always looking for cheap classy date ideas.  Funny about the coupon on the first date thing.  It screams cheap over frugal, (cheap you want to save until you're married:)) Maybe you can slip the coupon in while the date's in the bathroom?  Bad idea.  Living in the Pacific Northwest I love hiking.  We'll go mushroom hunting for chantrells, then have a great mushroom omelet when we come back.

I know that's extremely specific to my area, but that's what makes dating so great: exploring where you are, together.  Thanks for the inspiring pictures too.  Who says romance has to be expensive?

Myscha Theriault's picture

Hi Sonja,

Yeah, even though we're married we still like to have a supply of grown up entertainment options as well. It's hard when so much of your lifestyle cash gets redirected once you start doing the home ownership / parenthood thing. Not that we mind it too overly much, but it's just nice to feel like a grownup occasionally, you know?

You can also follow me on Twitter and Trek Hound.

Guest's picture

Let’s be honest. Nobody wants to look like a cheapskate right out of the relationship gate, but dropping big bucks on someone you’ve just met is a major budget decision for many.

I agree. But, you can still impress your date if you can show off a card for the waiter to swipe. Not credit card, though. I mean DEBIT card. This is even more impressive because your date will think you really have your own dough in the bank, and not just borrow from a bank, which is what credit card is really all about.

Not only are you able to hit your date's financial sensibilities, you will also avoid getting yourself into any credit card related mess like nerve wracking debt, sleepless nights and the toil of looking for best debt elimination programs or companies out there to absolve you from trouble.

Makes a lot of sense, right?

Guest's picture

I also appriciate wine tasting events.

Guest's picture

You forgot to mention museum dates, visits to historical sites (e.g. The Rockefeller Estate which doesn't have such great art), and boat cruises (e.g. from Greenwich, CT to Captain's Island). Also, I must admit if dinner or lunch is NOT on the menu (and I don't mean at home) then not only would I be hungry and cranky, but would question why the man wasn't honest enough to briefly explain before the date why he didn't have the necessary money (e.g., a poor struggling PhD student, a cash strapped medical resident, etc.).