Classy Weddings on the Cheap

by Myscha Theriault on 11 April 2008 27 comments

Closing in on the big day and concerned the budget is spiraling out of control? Believe it or not, you can have a classy event without going permanently in debt. Here’s a peek at various categories to consider, and suggestions for each.

LOCATION

beach wedding

All in one facility.

Out of our three wedding ceremonies, the one where we were inviting all the family was held at one of those antique historical mansions that was already furnished with antiques, Persian carpets, table linens, tables, serving dishes, etc. There was loads of parking, a raised landing halfway up the stairs with a two story stained glass window for the ceremony, and place for people to start relaxing with champagne immediately after they walked back down stairs to greet us. Everything flowed, people only had to park once, and there was no annoying wait time for people to wait for us to arrive. They’d already been through the receiving line and could already start munching, as we went with high end cocktail foods.  In fact, there were a few items selected ahead for the caterers to be handed out as soon as people arrived prior to the ceremony and signed the guest book. I’ve also seen weddings done at romantically located hotels such as this one in central Maine. The couple had their reception right by the pool under the canopy and the guests as well as the couple were already at the hotel when they got done partying down. So everyone could participate to their own energy level, including people who arrived with several individuals per car. Bonus? Breakfast was included the next morning, so everyone got to see each other and really enjoy one of those few and far between family get-togethers. Way less gas spent, and if the facilty is already a decorative one to boot, you’ll be spending way less money on decorations

National park.

Any park, really. But some of the national ones such as Acadia have some seriously dramatic scenery, making for unique and extra memorable wedding photographs. When the background is that striking, some neatly placed rows of white chairs and the wedding party are nearly all you need for decorative accents. OK, maybe a pew bow or two. Bonus? You often only need to book a particular site for a nominal fee. If you are comfortable with a ceremony outside your regular place of worship, this could save you major bucks.

Beach side hotel balcony.

A former coworker of mine did this when we were on Guam.  The hotel was on the beach with fabulously decorated pools and gardens. This of course made for some gorgeous pre-ceremony photos of the bride and groom. They invited all of us to attend, but didn’t really do the bridal party thing. This made for less stress with fittings, extra gown selections, etc. Instead of reserving an entire ball room or one of the swimming pools, she got the large balcony for a song, and it overlooked everything anyway. The hotel coordinated putting out several tables with linens and candles, as well as a covered table for the guest book and the table with the giant three tiered appetizer tray, cocktail bar and punch bowl. We all hung out and got in the wedding mood while they took their time with photos. Then, they entered along with the person performing the ceremony and we gathered around for their vows and ceremony. Afterwards, we enjoyed champagne and cake and gave our good wishes. It was simple, classy, and absolutely beautiful. She also came out at well under two thousand dollars for the entire bill.

The beach itself.

There’s a reason people pick this one. It’s super dramatic, and basically any fabulous dress and groom’s outfit will fit in. You can also skip the expensive wear-them-one-time shoes for a fabulous couple’s pedicure. Follow the whole event with an island style barbecue. Or, if you are going for a morning sunrise service, do the toast with some affordable mimosas and follow up with the cake and some morning brunch foods. Bonus? Brunches and afternoon tea receptions are some of the most affordable ones to pull off.

Garden.

If you live next to a great botanical garden, or have a friend who’s really into the gardening thing as a hobby, consider this as an all in one option. With publicly accessible gardens, the bathrooms are usually already available, along with one or two of those oh-so-romantic gazebos for the ceremony and musicians. And again, a few ribbon bows and the flowers for the cake table and bridal party are really all you’ll need. As with some of the other suggestions, parking likely won’t be an issue.

DÉCOR  AND INFRASTRUCTURE

wedding in the park

All in one facilities. Again.

It bears repeating. Many of these places have everything you need. The mansion we used sure did. Right down to table linens, serving dishes and even the coffee urn. They set the whole thing up and cleaned afterward for around seven hundred bucks. I don’t know about you, but I have friends who spent way more than that on an empty hall with absolutely no infrastructure.

Register for certain infrastructure items as shower gifts.

The trick? Pick things without a wedding motif so you can enjoy them throughout your marriage. Some examples? A pillar candle holder with coordinating taper pieces. It will look great on your mantle for years to come and you’ll already have what you need for your unity candle if you desire that as part of your ceremony. Another set you’ll be glad you requested, especially if you like to entertain, is a cake knife and server. These will be used for nearly every holiday event, family christening, anniversary and more. Plus, you never know when a friend will ask to borrow your living room, back porch and landscaped grounds for their wedding.

Hit the after Christmas sales.

I covered this in a fair amount of depth in one of my post holiday sale articles. I repeat the suggestion here, because there really are loads of things you can pick up then at a huge discount. Table linens, coffee urns, buffet servers, punch bowls, you name it.

Let nature be your backdrop.

This seriously cuts down on unnecessary decorations.  Crashing surf, dramatic snow capped mountains, a foliage rimmed lake, ancient castle surrounded by green fields, you get the idea. A few of those hand tied ribbon bows I mentioned above around the gazebo and up the aisles of chairs . . . you’ll just need to show up with your partner looking fabulous.

Keep it simple.

By this I’m suggesting to cut back on all the unnecessary frippery and yes, even the guest list. In fact, if you think guests will just stress you out and you want to spend more money on a honeymoon anyway, consider eloping for a combination wedding trip – ceremony destination type of thing. Hammock in Paradise blogger Lisa Overman  recently wrote a piece with some information on how to organize a wedding in Hawaii, if that floats your boat. Or, maybe Scotland is speaking to your soul. Your call really. But paring things down to any degree will save you loads of stress and cash.

ARTICLE CONTINUES BELOW
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CLOTHING

wedding dress

Bride.

There are several ways to do this. Vintage or family dresses, a discount brand such as Bridal Originals, or even a dress or suit with a bridal feel picked up at a non traditional source. While I picked something more traditional for our family blow out back home, I snagged a great champagne colored shift with crystal beads and a satin-stitched scalloped ham for under sixty bucks at the mall in Kuwait. When we went to Denmark for the ceremony, I wore that (which has also served as a great New Years Eve dress since then) with some strappy sandals, and David wore his uniform. We were more than pleased with the snapshots.  Another great idea is to get a fabulous white sarong with some floral accents and wrap in whatever creative style you want. Here’s a source for wedding sarongs, if you want a more formal approach to your wrap.

Groom.

Guys, if you have a formal uniform that goes with your job, then you are already in business. Otherwise, tux rentals are super affordable, and to tell you the truth I think a nice suit is nothing to sneeze at. Of course, if you are going for the beach thing, some really great gauze pants and a Hawaiian style shirt will have you styling it on the cheap.

Bridal party.

Cutting down on the size of it altogether is an excellent place to start. Some people eliminate it all together. If you want some sort of attendant count for support and logistics, consider just going with a maid of honor and best man only.  That way, they guys only need to coordinate their outfits and the bride’s attendant can really pick any classy dress that fits in with the wedding. Problem solved. And again, the sarong idea above is super cheap.

RINGS

wedding rings

Vintage & estate pieces.

These are auctioned off all the time, and if you like the historical feel, this could be the solution you are looking for.

Pawn shops.

OK, maybe not your first pick, and I know not everyone is comfortable with this. That being said, there is usually loads of room for bargaining at these places and if you can “get comfortable” with the idea, you stand the chance of getting way more bang for your buck.

Family rings.

If you happen to be lucky enough to have a set of heritage rings from parents or grandparents, lucky you. These are such a warm, tender and powerful way to establish a long term commitment.

Shop the sales.

Jewelers need to make a living too.  Keep an eye out for super clearance sales in your local area.

Custom made rings by your favorite indie jewelry.

Know an artist with loads of jewelry design talent? Give ‘em a call. You’ll likely end up with some of the most unique rings you’ve ever seen, and for way less than the mall store will charge you.

FOOD & FAVORS

wedding food

Time of day.

Morning and afternoon are times when folks really aren’t going to expect a sit down meal, and even if you go there, the food for afternoon tea receptions and morning brunches is way more affordable than prime rib any day of the week. Quiches, pastries, and even the mimosas themselves paired with coffee and tea are ways to seriously reduce the beverage and food bill.

Type of menu.

Sit down meal or cocktail nibbling? Full consumption of a slab of smoked salmon or putting a dab on a cream cheese topped melba round as a seafood accent? Shrimp cocktail or shrimp dip? You get the idea. There are many ways to have even the high end food items you want without breaking the bank.  Think sliced steak salad and hot crab and artichoke dip.

Affordable favors that keep on giving.

We used perennial flower seeds in decorative packets. Other options are plant-able wedding programs that are made of biodegradable paper embedded with herb seeds, or matching individual ornaments at a Christmas themed wedding. Get creative. You really don’t need to go with the plastic swans here. Wouldn’t you rather give something people can enjoy rather than just toss after a day or two?

Is this the most comprehensive list of money saving wedding ideas out there? I dare say not. However, it is a list that I feel encompasses the various areas couples often overspend on.  Any other folks out there with cash saving wedding strategies, I’d love to hear from you.

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Guest's picture

I'm getting married in September. One thing that I truly suggest is to pay for it in cash. You can always negotiate prices better with it and you will spend only what you can afford.

I suggest to also have your friends and family assist with the wedding. Maybe you know somebody who owns a catering service. How about somebody that is a DJ. Start asking around and you will be surprised how much you can cut down on pricing by using your personal contacts.

I wrote a similar piece on Saving on Weddings as well.

Myscha Theriault's picture

I just checked out your article. I really like the tip about asking for the quote as a "large party" rather than for a wedding. Very savvy.

Guest's picture

Great ideas!

My husband and I had a very classy, seemingly lavish wedding for under $5000. I've compiled some of the things we did, as well as other ideas, here:
http://www.fruwiki.com/index.php5?title=Weddings

Guest's picture

One thing people love to brag about is that there was an "open bar" at a wedding they attend. Well, have an open bar at your wedding, but restrict it to beer and wine. You'll save hundreds or thousands on folks who want mixed drinks, but you still get the props for having an open bar.

Guest's picture

Here are my thoughts about the booze things @ the poster above. Im an Irish Catholic and I can't imagine having a wedding where there wasn't an open bar, not that we are drunks, its just...well, imagine a room full of irish Catholics at a wedding with no booze. Scary thought. Anyway, something that you can sometimes get away with is buying your own booze if you can get special permission to do it from whereever is hosting the wedding. This can save MASSIVE amounts of money. I haven't seen it done too many times, but when you can work it out, it will save tons.

Myscha Theriault's picture

We did the wine, beer and champagne thing and bought our own ahead of time. I would also think you could do something similar with hard alcohol and offer one or two signature cocktails. Have it worked in on the menu / program. Of course, this requires you have the event somewhere this is allowed, as the person above mentioned.

I'm with you guys, though. While I'm sure the portion of my family who is super conservative would disagree with me . . . bring on the bar. Within reason, of course.

Guest's picture

We are planning a wedding for this October, and it's going to be a very laid-back affair. The ceremony is at a local winery that has an outdoor shelter area--the rental is $250 and includes tables and chairs. After a finger food reception there (using a local caterer recommended by the winery who is costing less than $5/person), we're having an after-party at a local music venue. Some friends are our band for both ceremony and party, so they gave us a deal on their fee. The venue is going to let us buy a keg at their cost, and if anyone wants anything harder, they can buy it. The venue rental is $500 and includes bartender, sound guy for the music, and a security person. Dinner is catered bbq and sides.

 

All it took was some checking around and just asking at some of the places we already love and frequent. You'd be surprised at what will work out if you are already a valued customer.

Guest's picture

Always ask for discounts. We received a discount off of the location rental because my wife's company is located on the property.

We were also upfront with all our vendors about cost. One of them was willing to give us special consideration (we had to prove we were easy to work with!) because she appreciated how much we were doing on our own to cut down on costs.

We also worked the timing out with our band. Instead of playing the entire wedding, they played the cocktail hour only. Since they were able to get a second gig in after us, they didn't charge us the minimum hourly rate. And a friend acted as dj for the rest of the party.

When all was said and done, one of the biggest hits was the $15 pinata we set up for the kids. OK, bad pun...

Guest's picture
11 Apr. 2008 | 11:11 AM Liz Mendoza

I just got married 4 months ago- we had 300 people, a full reception, and we were able to do it for $6000, everything included. My mom works at our church, so they comped the rental cost. We had everyone seated at the reception tables during the ceremony because I think it's EVIL when you have to wait 3 hours for some cold Italian food. I made playlists for all of our ceremony and recption music- it worked very well! For food, we bought rotisserie chicken from Sam's Club and had baked potatoes, salad, and rolls. We bought sheet cake (gasp!) from Sam's club and paid maybe $15 for our couple's cake. My dress was on end-of-season sale for $500 from Davids' Bridal (I used my tax refund to pay for it). The thing that helped us out so much was that we have a great community at our church- my family friend made the bouquets and centerpieces from roses we ordered from Sam's Club. We did the pawn shop thing for all our rings- my husband got my 3/4 carat diamond engagement solitaire for $700. It can be done! Use the resources you have around you!

Guest's picture

How about having just one wedding ceremony instead of three?

Guest's picture

Just proposed and am planning on getting married in two years myself. Guys, if your short on cash start thinking about a destination wedding. They're much cheaper and when you get back home... you can just throw a big party on the 'ol back lawn.

Weddings don't have to be expensive. Anything over $10,000 in my mind is absolutely insane, all for what -- ONE NIGHT...Gimme a break! Most marriages end up in divorce anyways. And what is the chief cause of divorce in the first place -- MONEY (or lack thereof). Talk about a poor return on investment -- sheesh!

It's bad enough that the U.S. spends more than it can afford to in general. Our savings rate is in the toilet and the market is in for a bigger tumble than most anticipate.

So, it may be best to play the frugal card when it comes to the BIG wedding. Be wise and think "long-term." In a perfect world love wouldn't cost a dime. The Beatles said it best, "All you need is love...love is all you need"

Stephen
www.jutiagroup.com

Myscha Theriault's picture

Well, not that I feel the need to justify it, but just to share . . . we had to have a ceremony in Europe in order for me to be there legitimately on his military tour and all the minute details that entails. This meant we didn't get to have the ceremony with family like we wanted.

Then, in order to have the priest (my husband's family's Catholic) agree to show up at the actual bash, we had to show up at the church and have a private ceremony there.

So in answer to your question, yes. That would have been our first choice. Since we couldn't do that, we cobbled together a plan that incorporated everyone as best we could.

However, the point of the post was to give people ideas to save money on their weddings if they wanted to. We didn't do anything that we couldn't afford and are happy with our decisions.

Out of curiosity, why do you ask?

Guest's picture

Did it for $3,000. We kept things "simply elegant." My mom made my wedding dress, and we made our own centerpieces for the reception tables (simple glass bowls with a beta in each). Instead of a dinner, we had an elegant dessert reception, with miniature cheesecakes, pirouettes and fine Belgian chocolates. My wedding cake had three layers, and only the top was made from real cake (for the cutting). Silk flowers and music provided by a jazz trio comprised of friends from my musician days completed the whole...

Guest's picture
11 Apr. 2008 | 3:01 PM A Recent Bride

Nordstrom has a bridal/bridesmaid section of their website where you can snag incredible deals on dresses, if you're not into the poufy princess look.

I wanted a sleek, sort of "sleek 1940s starlet" look rather than "creampuff in tulle". For $360, ABS had the perfect dress. I bought it online in 2 sizes and paid $5 for shipping. Returning the wrong size to the store was hassle-free, because that's how Nordstrom rolls. =)

Once the dress went on sale for $160 (and I'd lost a few pre-nuptial pounds), I actually returned the $360 dress and re-purchased my wedding dress in the proper size for $160. I've paid more for premium denim than I did for my wedding dress. Amazing. Thank you, Nordstom!!!

Myscha Theriault's picture

That's a pretty inspirational bargain dress story. Thanks for sharing!

Guest's picture

And, I think really reasonable for what we got. My dress was a white, a-line, strapless bridesmaid dress from aria (love, love, love them) with a sash I had made from bridesmaid fabric (their dresses were also from Aria - and, while a little pricey for bridesmaid dresses ($200) in my head (I don't think that's actually pricey in reality) the girls were up for it and the aria people were fantastic. The dresses in the showroom were actually BIG!!!) for a grand total of $300, maybe? Shoes from Marshall's ($25), Suit from Brooks Brothers (total sale $250), hotel courtyard, room for the night, ceremony, chair covers, food, booze, cake, ass-drawn carriage (it was new orleans) for like $75pp, flowers were $1000 (all corsages, the guy flowers I can't spell, my bouquet, cake topper, guestbook table, centerpieces and not a rose in sight! Yay gerber daisies) and the band, who were super fly fabulous, but we will not discuss how much they cost - they were my ceremony musicians and second line band as well. Bucktown Allstars!!!!! That was my splurge. Still, under $20k, which ain't cheap BUT to get an open bar in Boston, we're talking over that already and the band would have easily been twice as much.

Guest's picture
14 Apr. 2008 | 6:18 AM DivaJean

We pulled off our own wedding 14 years ago with very little money. We did almost everything on our own and the total cost- honeymoon included was only $3000. And we had almost 150 people at our wedding and reception...

We opted to sew my bride gown and the dresses of our witnesses (my sister and my partner's sister). Me, my mom, and my mother in law all sew quite well- and the dresses came out beautifully. My partner (somewhat more butch than I!) rented a tux.

We bought rings on super discount from a local vendor.

For months prior to the wedding, we made our own decorations, cake topper (not many lesbian cake toppers back then), and had time to get paper goods, plastic table ware, etc on sale in colors and styles that went with our color palate (lavender and purple). Having plenty of time ahead of time lets you do this.

We took several days from work off before the wedding to cook the food. We relied on beautiful Italian antipasti, cold cut trays and many summer salads for our reception. It was August, so local fruits and veggies were at their best! We did not want to have alcohol at our reception since some of our closest friends had some issues with drinking. It saved a bundle.

The day before the wedding, we decorated. The church, the church reception hall etc. We had a few friends help with this- then our parents treated all to dinner after the rehearsal.

Our cake was a gift from a friend who had just finished a Wilton cake decorating class. With the topper we had made, it looked designer fabulous!

We did not opt for a photographer or videographer. The local press was already involved in taking many pictures of us- as were many of our friends-- one of whom has had several art shows of his photography. People were more than happy to just have doubles made of their pictures and give us copies. ANother friend gave us a copy of her videotape she made of our wedding as a gift. We didn't have to spend a lot of time away from our guests posing in hokey settings that had nothing to do with our day. Just a few extra poses by the flowers on the altar were plenty!

One caveat- we forgot to plan on enough people to serve the food we had made! Thankfully, some of our extended family (aunts, uncles, etc) were more than happy to help get food on the buffet table for us.

And we danced! We had a great DJ who was excited to have a different type of wedding- and filled our reception with fun dance-able music- NO macerena or silly stuff-- but extra disco-ey stuff my crowd liked.

An awesome time!

Myscha Theriault's picture

That sounds like an absolute blast, Diva Jean. And you definitely stuck to a budget, that's for sure. Good for you.

Guest's picture

Some people referred to my wedding as the crunchy, granola lesbian wedding- but really it wasn't. We did not wear dashikis and serve tofu-- honest!!

Myscha Theriault's picture

And even if you had served tofu . . . I'd still think you're a rock star, Diva Jean. You go, girl!

Guest's picture

The beautiful elements of a wedding are beautiful because they mean something to the parties involved, not because they were expensive. While my own research lies in inexpensive wedding and engagement rings, I really enjoyed the advice about locations, food, and clothing.

Thanks for a great post!

Guest's picture
7 Oct. 2008 | 5:50 AM Terrylyn

It is hard to stay within budget for a wedding but if you buy all your bridesmaid shawls and wraps at www.yourselegantly.com for $19.99 up inclusive of shipping you will get classy elegant bridesmaid pashmina shawls and wraps at a fraction of what you would pay elsewhere. I spend hours researchingbridal wedding & bridesmaid wraps and bought mine from Yours Elegantly. The bridesmaid were so happy and looked beautiful. Free shipping and a gift is great also heard they donate to welfare organizations and are a giving business.

Guest's picture

I managed to plan my wedding, reception and a week-long Honeymoon in Mexico for around $6,000. It took a lot of creativity, a little compromise and a ton of budget-savvy. I did a write-up with my strategies and price break-down here: http://www.cheap-creative-wedding-ideas.com/my-wedding-story-6000-budget....

Looking back, I see areas where I could have saved even more, but I'm pretty happy with how everything turned out and I do not have any regrets.

Guest's picture

The church or synagogue wedding with the reception in the adjacent social hall is usually a very inexpensive option, if you can live with the restrictions. The social halls are often stocked with tables, linens, serving pieces, etc. and you may have access to a kitchen to do your own cooking.

I agree with DivaJean to hire enough people to serve and clean up! We hired college students who were experienced waiters. Be sure to interview and screen them well.

Guest's picture

I am so glad I found this! Your tip about the wedding sarong was just what I was looking for without knowing what I was looking for! My husband and I are doing a vow renewal (our first wedding involved a lot of family drama that really ruined everything and wasn't the wedding that we wanted to start with!) We will be moving to Pearl Harbor in December with the Navy and it is THE perfect time for us to renew our vows in the way we intended from the beginning. The wedding sarong is PERFECT! The rest will so simple, just like we wanted!

Myscha Theriault's picture

So thrilled the sarong idea will help you out. And by the way girl, you're going to LOVE Hawaii. I've done the Pearl Harbor thing as a tourist and anyone I know who was stationed there has loved it. Have a great time experiencing island life. It's fantastic.

You can also follow me on Twitter and Trek Hound.

Guest's picture

If you are looking for a wedding favor that everybody would love and you would like to stay in your budget then Pashmina shawls is perfect.

You can visit www.asraistyle.com and contact our customer support to get a wholesale rate on Pashmina.