I thought it was funny that, according to the commentary, I was both living beyond my means and doing just fine. In fact, one person suggested that I should be able to relax and spend more. None of them were sitting down with my personal income and budget figures in front of them, and, interestingly, nobody showed much actual curiosity about what our actual spending was on particular budget items. Ultimately, it's impossible to compare actual numbers. There's too much variation in cost of living, as well as where you're going or where you're coming from. The closest comparison for my family is probably the family living right across the street from us.

I think there's this iconic "middle class" standard of living that most middle income families can't afford. I think the reason we are not more aware of it is that most people are living on debt. A lot of those material goods have been paid for with credit, which has been consolidated using home equity loans. Almost nobody pays cash for a new car. You can now get a seven year loan for a car! I wouldn't say that all credit and lending is bad, but if everyone had to pay cash for everything, I think we'd be seeing a lot of lifestyles that look like 1950's middle class instead of 2000's "middle class"--aka one car, smaller homes, fewer toys, etc. 

Catherine Shaffer

Wise Bread Contributor