Do You Feel Entitled To Money?

I hear that phrase, "It's not fair" spoken frequently by my son around grades. He's learning the life lesson around hard work yielding (usually) good results. I'll be more aware with he says this again and ask him to considered whether he simply feels entitled.

And thanks for the reminder about borrowing. I know its value but never thought to evaluate how I feel when I return the item. A good opportunity for a head-shake.

One thing to do is to change your mindset when it comes to purchasing things. Ask yourself the question of how would your earn the money to make the purchase, rather than whether you can afford it now. That way, you are constantly moving ahead towards future earnings.

Your questions are good - and even if people aren't actively purchasing things, they can see where they might be in danger of overspending. "Answer the questions now, see your weaknesses, and avoid buying later!" Win, win (win)!

Personally, sometimes I am guilty of number 4 - but at least you already own it for the first half of the question, haha.

I had a 7-year relationship with someone who felt that the things she had and the gifts she gave reflected on who she was as a person. We always had 10 new cleaning products under the sink when one might have done. We had a car we could barely afford. Christmas put us into debt until the next summer because she wanted to generous with friends and family. Our fridge was always well stocked even though we were throwing away tons of spoiled food. She was not a bad person but they way we were living was miserable because we were always in debt. Every cent was going to credit cards. I remember having $5 or $10 dollars in my account right after getting paid for months on end. Today I've paid off all my cards, have built up a financial cushion, have a much more modest used car, and I use the things I have before I buy new stuff. The happiness that financial security has brought me is far better than having all that stuff.

I don't feel entitled. What I *do* feel is happy with what I have, whether I got it from a thrift store or (rarely) a department store. That's because I'm old enough to realize what money can and cannot buy, so I choose only things I really need or really want.
Here's another suggestion for try-it-before-you-buy-it: Rentals. For example, you could rent a flashy sports car and drive it around. Maybe it'll make you feel like hot stuff. But when you return it, look at your budget and figure out where the high monthly car payment plus higher insurance will come from, and see what you might have to give up to get it. Maybe your vanilla sedan will look better all of a sudden.
You can rent high-end purses, I'm told. Same tactic applies: Figure out where the hundreds of dollars would come from the month you buy it. Decide whether you felt cool enough carrying that accessory to make up for the blow to your budget.
And you might THINK you need a power washer, fancy saw, carpet cleaning system or whatever...But renting one is probably cheaper in the long run, especially if you can get friends/neighbors to go in with you on the rental. In an 8-hour stretch you could power-wash an awful lot of decks besides your own.

I don't feel like I think I am entitled to stuff but because I am human it is easy to be patient and not be jealous of something. I do believe that working hard and spending within your budget is how it should go though. Sure it would be great if someone else had paid for college for my husband and I but it didn't happen and we worked our butts off to finish and are working our butts off to pay off the student loans. There is a lesson in everything. Many people have asked me why I balance our checking account or take the time to create a budget and I always answer that it is my (our) responsibility to manage our money and not take it for granted or take the chance at spending outside what we have.

We can't have or do everything that we want and that is fine because even if we did we probably would still not be happy. (PS I am only 27 so it can't just an age thing either)

I used to overspend like crazy because I hated my work. So because I forced myself to sit and do something I hate for 60+ hours per week I felt entitled to splurging and binge shopping whenever I wanted. It was my way of rewarding myself. Vicious cycle! Once I found the courage and confidence to make money doing work I love my crazy spending addiction went away.
I think this is a big problem in America where many of us hate our jobs and only do them for the money. So we end up compensating in other ways like overspending, overeating, over drinking, etc. I think if you find happiness you won't feel the need to medicate in other ways.

The waiting period is a good idea that we practice on any purchase that is considered a "non-necessity". Even necessities are given thorough investigation to determine the best for our needs (not wants).

In my opinion, the "gotta have it now" mentality got many into deep financial trouble.

Renting or borrowing is another great idea. Many of my friends rent an expensive telephoto lens for sports photography. They can't justify a $10,000 lens for a few events.

I think the entitlement issue comes up in a lot of contexts. One poster mentioned grades. My husband taught college courses part-time for 2 decades, and noticed a big change in the prevailing attitudes among students. They seemed to feel more and more entitled to good grades, whether or not they did anything to deserve them. Every year seemed worse. And no, he wasn't a grouchy, lousy teacher complaining because he has some axe to grind - he got stellar student and faculty evaluations. Every year, at least a half dozen kids would say he was the best prof they ever had. But the trend was disturbing. In recent years, he got more and more people coming to him saying they "needed to get an A". They were not asking how they could earn one, asking for extra study material or extra credit work, or asking for help so that they could do a good job. They were informing him that they wanted an A regardless of the quality of their work! He would respond "I always give As for A level work" and some of the students would say "You don't understand - I NEED an A. I want to go to law school next year, and I can't get anything but an A. You have to give me one, because I need it". Yup - that's a direct quote. (As though the other students all wanted Ds, and he needed to be informed who had a use for an A.). Yes, indeed - he could hardly believe it, but after further discussion, that was it exactly. Basically, she was saying "You have to be directly worried about my career, and give me this grade. Why not? My parents always gave me whatever I wanted, whether I earned it or not - why wouldn't you?". Whereupon he informed her again that he would gladly give her an A, if her work merited it. She could even perhaps do extra if she didn't do well - he offered that to everyone. He'd give them opportunities to improve their grades if they'd do the work. But she wasn't interested and said that he simply had to give her the grade because, again, she was going to law school. Finally, he got blunt and told her "I'm sorry, but your future career plans are irrelevant to this class, and frankly not my concern. I'm not really worried about whether the seat in that law program goes to you or someone else. I will try to help you learn and do well if you're willing to do the work - but if not, then I am not in the habit of giving free grades or favoring one student over another. I'm not your father - I am your professor, and I have hundreds of students, all of whom have their own career plans." She was shocked - the thought had never occurred to her.