Ask Lynnae from BeingFrugal a question (Women of Personal Finance Spotlight)

[Lynnae]

Originally Posted by Julie Rains

Thanks for sharing your schedule. So now I know one reason I don't have as much time to blog -- my kids (a tween and teen) usually go to bed after I do. I guess they don't need as much supervision but they often want to talk.

Good point about obligations and temporary changes that could be made for longer term benefits. I think a bigger, better story might be how tithing or giving can instill financial discipline and to an extent, a sense of humility (as one purposely doesn't keep up with the Joneses but does not receive any direct financial benefit, as an increase in net worth through savings).

Are your kids starting to ask what they want for Christmas (my youngest is!) and do you have any strategies for controlling holiday costs?

I definitely agree with you about tithing. I think the benefit in tithing is for us. God doesn't need our money, but he can change our attitude by the simple act of giving.

I have one child who never asks for anything for Christmas and another who is already making his list. Those two are so opposite.

This year I'm taking a different approach to Christmas. We always have a big family party a few weeks before Christmas, where my kids get really spoiled (only grandchildren, lots of aunts & uncles). I get overwhelmed with the clutter. So this year, we put aside some money early on, and I'm buying one family gift (a Wii). I'll get a few accessories, too, so everyone can play together.

My advice for Christmas is to set a budget, save the money throughout the year, and then stick to the budget. I try to make sure my kids each get something that they really want, provided it's in the budget. By saving early, I can also look for good sales on the things I want to buy. It worked with the Wii. I found a stand alone Wii at Target a few weeks ago, and I bought it. Had I waited, I might have been stuck with a $500 Wii bundle, because that's all that was available.

The other thing I do is try to get my kids involved in a charity, like Toys for Tots or Operation Christmas Child. By focusing on those that don't have as much as we do, it kind of curbs the Christmas greediness that can set in with children. It doesn't always work, but it's good to try.

[Lynnae]

Originally Posted by Myscha Theriault

Moving! Something near and dear to my heart at the moment. How far did you have to move? We are looking at strategies for a fairly long distance, but I definitely agree with your point on those hidden costs we don't think about like curtain rods, extra toilet brushes, and a second set of nearly everything for that second bathroom.

Also, any thoughts or tips for frugal family food harmony? I'm really lucky in that my husband will eat nearly anything I put down in front of him, but not every family is blessed with non-picky eaters. How do you maintain structure and budget while allowing at least minimal individuality on the food front?

Fortunately we only moved 15 miles. The farthest I've ever moved was from Southern California to Southern Oregon right after college, but I didn't have that much stuff or a family to move. I think if I had to move across the country, I might splurge on movers. But then my husband hates driving a U-haul.

I do know a thing or two about picky eaters. I have two of them. I think the key to feeding picky eaters is to set expectations. I try to make sure they have something they like for breakfast and lunch and a healthy snack in the afternoon. I make what I make for dinner, and if they choose not to eat it, they're hungry until breakfast. (I do try to make sure there's a healthy side dish that they like.)

It sound harsh, but my kids are both picky, and they have opposite tastes. If I catered to them, I'd be cooking three different meals for dinner.

I also ask them to take 5 bites of dinner. That forces them to try new foods, which has been a big problem.

Surprisingly enough, eating lunch in the school cafeteria has helped too. I guess seeing their peers eat new foods inspires them a bit.

So I guess my solution to saving money with picky eaters is to not cater to the pickiness. I don't know if it's a great solution, but it works for us.