Annoyingly competitive friends and neighbors

[amandajane]

I got this quote via email this morning and thought how appropriat it is for this thread:

Your valuables don't make you more valuable, and your net worth is not the basis of your self-worth.

Heh, so true!

[VaranusK]

That's a problem... sometimes your beloved half does not see things as you do, so you can either speak clearly and try to change his/her mind, or just accept it.
And it is really hard when it affects the kids, as in this case they are more sensible to comparations :-(
I am afraid I can't really give you a good advice here, I see your point and agree, but realize not everyone is the same.
But it can be a problem of time, we all see things clearer after some time.

[windycindy]

I have never been much of a competitor! My husband and I bought a 90 year old home for what some people pay for a car! We lived there 16 years and I miss it! Cars don't impress me, hot tubs are okay, etc. Nothing is worth going into debt for except a roof over your head.

[rstlne]

Ask your neighbors for their old stuff. Maybe after they get a fancy new bigscreen TV, they'll give you their old bigscreen TV.

To elaborate, many of my friends and neighbors do have better electronics than I but I just don't compare. I get what I need but beyond that, it's just not important.

[purplefdu]

I have the frugal neighbor as well. They bought the neighbors house for a song because it isn't insulated at all. Just enough of a summer house for two bedrooms and a living space and bathroom. They used to run a huge oganic farm and we spend all summer outdoing each other with produce. Much better then the old neighbors on the other side that flaunted their nanny, two SUVs, van, and two cars, three pedigreed dogs, and other crap. Not that it made me want new stuff. I'd rather be seen as por and out of date than in the same level as those people.

[Ginger]

Originally Posted by belle2p

I have a neighbor who is always subtly dropping hints about how much money they are spending. They constantly tell us the purchases they've made and then ask us why we haven't made the same upgrades.

Generally theses things don't bother me, but I think it bothers my husband who is a very competitive person. He gets especially embarrassed when the neighbor's kids come over and show off their new toys. Now I've noticed my husband is beginning to deviate from our usually frugal lifestyle.

Does anyone else have annoying friends or neighbors who are always showing off? Does it make you or your spouse feel competitive? I really hate to lose our nest egg because my husband can't get over his need to keep up with the Joneses.

Maybe its evil but I would just engage the kids in a conversation about how much money theyve got saved up? When the dad comes over I would just say the same. Talk about how much you've got your finances together yada yada yada..

That'll make him think twice...

I have a neighbor that competes with us but it doesnt bother me. She wants to get her floors done now that we are planning on doing it and wants a new living room and bedroom set as well. Sometimes I want to tell her HELLO>?!?! We just moved in so we NEEDED these things? If I put up new curtains then she goes and does the same. I smile.. thats all I can do lol

[Annie]

Aww, don't let them get to you. Just have a silent chuckle of self-satisfaction every time they brag and/or show-off. Remember that when it comes time for them to live frugally, they won't know where to begin. It doesn't take a lot to know how to splurge.

[Xin Lu]

Two of my three closeby neighbors are old women who don't really show off anything. They are pretty nice. It seems that my coworkers are really down to earth, too. It may just be a Northern California thing because I think more people are showy in Southern California.

[pastorjezer]

I'm a fairly competitive person myself. That's what fifteen years of organized sports will do, but I figure why try to compete and mire myself in debt. Ultimately, I feel more at peace seeing my wealth grow by not wasting every extra penny I get. For me, money isn't what I want. I want freedom and security, ot gizmos.

[beansac]

Everyone seems to keep saying this in a long, round about way, so i'll say it succinctly.

Stop caring!

Let them do what they please. Remember, this isn't high school and you don't have to be the cool guy (or girl) with all of the toys.