Annoyingly competitive friends and neighbors

[72Tiger]

Originally Posted by beansac

Everyone seems to keep saying this in a long, round about way, so i'll say it succinctly.

Stop caring!

Let them do what they please. Remember, this isn't high school and you don't have to be the cool guy (or girl) with all of the toys.

Pretty well said. Stuff is just stuff. I don't see why people get so worked up about having it, and trying to impress others with it.

[Rapuccini]

I bet we all know someone (or more) who seeks to engage others in competitive lifestyles... be it spending to excess or frugal living! I personally enjoy conversing about the latter more but it really is the other side of the same coin. Though, I am trying to make sure that living frugally does not interfere with relationships and values.

Continue to be amazed at how hard it is these days to avoid discussions about products, services, etc. Seems as if you are not formally marketed to, one is blitzed by advertising from friends, family, and neighbors. Really is disturbing. Any tips for shifting the conversation or minimizng competitive talk?

[Megan]

I have a friend who likes to talk about how much she (or her husband) has paid for something. It's annoying, but it's also kind of sad to hear. She is terrible with her finances and spends way beyond her means. I know she's got a lot of credit card debt. We have tried to talk to her about it, but she seems to value herself on what she has and what she can acquire. Sometimes I wonder if she's trying to keep up with her friends.

She is notorious for buying something new and then telling all of us how great it is and how we should get one too. Admittedly, sometimes I do find myself wanting to go out and buy whatever it is she has just purchased, but most of the time, I just get mad at her for continuing to destroy her finances. I care too much about her to see her digging herself further into debt.

[kav122]

Originally Posted by Megan

I have a friend who likes to talk about how much she (or her husband) has paid for something. It's annoying, but it's also kind of sad to hear. She is terrible with her finances and spends way beyond her means. I know she's got a lot of credit card debt. We have tried to talk to her about it, but she seems to value herself on what she has and what she can acquire. Sometimes I wonder if she's trying to keep up with her friends.

She is notorious for buying something new and then telling all of us how great it is and how we should get one too. Admittedly, sometimes I do find myself wanting to go out and buy whatever it is she has just purchased, but most of the time, I just get mad at her for continuing to destroy her finances. I care too much about her to see her digging herself further into debt.

I hate it when people feel like they have to tell you how much they spent on dinner, clothes, car, furniture, etc. Ugh!

I also think that people can be really competitive with their *I think-stupid* Christmas letters. "so we bought a new car--SUV, of course, and went on a trip to Brazil, yada yada" Maybe I AM jealous, but I just can't help thinking, "OH GET OVER YOURSELF". Although I don't mind the ones that say what everyone did all year. I just don't want to hear a laundry list of everything they bought.

[rorich]

Originally Posted by kav122

I hate it when people feel like they have to tell you how much they spent on dinner, clothes, car, furniture, etc. Ugh!

I believe that whenever someone talks about what they have and how much they paid for it, they have "insecurity" issues — deep down, they're unhappy with something — just my opinion.

[moneymatters]

I've got friends that are like this - always spending more than they have, always upgrading their electronics before their lifecycle is up, just because they want the newest thing. I'm not super competitive about these things - although i will admit that every once in a while I do get a twinge when they get something i really want (like that new 50" LCD..) Usually though i'll just let them enjoy their purchase, and then I enjoy my nice clean finances - no debt except the mortgage. That peace of mind is so much nicer than any gadget i could buy.

One friend is so bad with finances that he always ends up thousands in debt on his credit cards. Luckily for him his father is well off and has bailed him out more than once. (I'm not sure if he'll tire of bailing his son out soon.)