Ask the Frugal Counselor a question and win her recipe book!

[Mary Webber]

Originally Posted by Myscha Theriault

Hey Mary?

I know this isn't really a kitchen or grocery question, but do you have any thoughts on beefing up the energy efficiency of one's home? This winter is going to be financially brutal for the folks up north. I know we did quite a few things last winter, but I'm sure there was more we could have done. Not everyone has a newer home with all the extra energy guards in place. Older homes in rural areas need all the advice they can get.

Do you happen to have any, oh goddess of thrift? Bowing down humbly in your presence . ..

Oh, but I do so love to get out of the kitchen and away from food questions occasionally! First to give a little background to my answer... My husband Bert and I are both residential real estate appraisers, he is certified while I am licensed. His background beyond 20 years as an appaiser is in the lumber business and construction industry. He knows his sutff! And of course when we appraise a house we start with a cellar to attic inspection.

Although home energy audits are very "in" at the moment, and unquestionably can be helpful, I think most people have a pretty good idea where their house is cold and losing energy, costing them money. Energy audits cost on average several hundred dollars and the companies that do them are insanely busy at this point. For most folks, it's a case of what to tackle first, how to get the most payback for what money you can afford to lay out, and what can you do yourself. Heck, you can start by holding a candle or lantern and going around door and window frames in a light wind to see how just much seepage makes that flame flicker.

Walk around the outside of your house paying special attention to where the foundation meets the sills. Gaps? The old-timers used to lay hay bales around the foundation and if you aren't fussy about appearances, try that. Otherwise consider closing gaps anyway you easily can, rigid or soft insulation, plastic sheeting, etc. It's a place to start.

Probably windows, doors and any attic space are your biggest concerns indoors. Remembering that heat rises, you want to be very sure that any attic space is well insulated. If it's been a few years since you've checked that crawl space overhead and you frankly haven't even given it a thought, well, you'd better scuttle up the scuttle and check it out. Be sure to maintain ventilation too.

Windows are notorious for heat leakage, both the glass panes themselves and the surrounds. Even if you have storm windows, heat loss through window areas can be significant especially in an older house whose nearby walls may not be well insulated. We do have storm windows on our house, but have decided that one of the two or three things we can afford to do this summer that will yield us the best return will be to buy insulated blinds. We do have blinds too, but they are privacy blinds only, and the insulated ones are far, far snugger. For our large bay window, which should be replaced, we'll caulk and I've make a fitted drape for it out of heavy-weight fleece. That made an enormous difference last winter.

The second thing we know we'll do is buy new storm doors, way, way overdue. We plan to get the Anderson 4000's, not cheap but well recommended by family members who've installed them. One entry door that seems to get overlooked but can cause the chillies is any door connecting the house to an unheated garage. Think about that. Also, we have two sets of exterior French doors that we're still undecided how to cover. Any ideas?

There's much, much more that can be done of course. For example, if you have a chimney, be sure the damper is kept tightly closed, maybe even block the front of the fireplace when it's not in use.

And please, make use of community services, and there are MANY available, that will check your home, advise you, in some cases help with the cost or installation of materials at little or no cost to the homeowner. Elderly homeowners often are particularly eligible, easily and quickly qualifying in many cases for these services. A lot of high schools with community service requirements for graduation are making winterization projects part of their outreach. And, while this whole winterization thing is also an area is be especially wary of scams, in these tough times, neighbors truly are trying to help neighbors, and that is both heart and hearth-warming!

[Mary Webber]

Originally Posted by Megan

Hi Mary! Love the answers so far!

I was wondering if you have any suggestions for those of us who live alone. I do my best to save money and eat healthy, but sometimes it's so hard! I only have so much space in my freezer (and can't exactly put a second freezer in my apartment). I don't mind leftovers at all and love to batch cook and freeze things in single size portions, but I struggle to find recipes that are easy, cheap, healthy, and taste good reheated! Am I asking too much?

You're funny! Of course you're asking too much, but that said, let's figure out how to do it! You already know about that big-batch-and-freeze thing, but have you considered borrowing freezer space from a friend or neighbor? Then you "shop" once a week at their freezer. You can trade a few home-cooked goodies for the space and it's a winner for both of you, because the fuller a freezer is, the more efficient!

Ahh, but maybe that just won't work. You've got to plan your meals, very, very carefully and shop accordingly. The last thing your budget needs is you stopping by the store on your way home to "just pick up one or two things."

The broccoli you have one night in a stir-fry wants to seem, whether you cooked it all up at once or not, like a whole new and fresh veggie when it re-appears several night later in a mac-and-cheese casserole, or a small omelet. Say, you buy a head of cauliflower to save on the added cost of the same in smaller packages. The cauliflower crunch is great in salads, steamed cauli can be mashed with - or in place of - potatoes, a small casserole of broccoli, cauliflower and carrot pieces in a cheesy sauce is excellent, AND any leftovers can be pureed for a delicious soup for lunch the next day. And, always, always, for those days, have an emergency meal in the cupboard, whether extravagant, or just a pre-packaged something you save to savor.

It is, as always with meal-making and food budgeting, a question of planning. And yes, of course that takes time, but a half hour spent with a couple of cookbooks and the grocery sale fliers once a week can have you eating a whole lot better for a whole lot less. Honest!

[DarlingMe]

Hi Mary,

This is such a fun idea. I’m glad I have the opportunity to ask you a question directly.

I live with an eleven year old and a five year old who are both really interested in cooking.

However, due to their age difference, their skill sets are very different.

The eleven year old can make delicious cupcakes entirely on her own (okay – some help with clean-up is required.) And, the other night she made fried potato patties while we were making a big Indian meal. She enjoyed cooking with the adults and her potato patties were a great addition to the feast.

The five year old is enthusiastic, but she’s five. She loves to sit on the counter and watch whoever is cooking, but at times it’s a battle to keep her fingers out of the bowl (especially when her sister is making icing) or to stop her from eating the raw ingredients. She enjoys stirring and really wants to help.

I’d love to know some recipes or meal ideas that would be good for both the kids – ideally something that the five year old can participate in, rather than just being told “no, put that down, get your fingers out of the butter, stop touching the cupcakes, etc.”

And, to further complicate my question, we are four adults and the two children, we don’t eat a lot of meat (maybe chicken or fish once a week) and the eleven year old won’t eat cheese. We do eat lots of vegetables, grains, beans, pasta, and tofu.

I’m not expecting the girls to make entire meals; I’d like to start them with smaller dishes that would make an impact.

I’d love to hear any and all suggestion you have, Mary.

Thanks!

[Will]

I love your answers Mary. They are fantastic. I've already forwarded a couple of them to my friends who desperately need this advice. Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom.

[CMack]

Dear Mary,
Welcome!
I have about a one-quarter acre plot of land that I would like to devote to raising crops that are fairly easy to preserve. I would prefer drying and freezing methods to canning, with perhaps tomatoes being the exception, and would like to put up enough to last a family of four from one harvest to the next. I plan to grow organically and would like to stagger the harvest times so I’m not overwhelmed with preserving everything at the same time. Specifically, are tree fruits such as cherries and apples the better choice, over say blueberries and raspberries, for maximizing the return on the space with the minimum of time? If you had to limit your choices to 5 fruits and vegetable varieties for these criteria, what would be your top choices? And, how much of each would you recommend planting? Is one fruit tree enough? Or do I need three? Five?

Also, are there any nut crops that can be grown successfully in zone 5?

Phew!! I know that’s a lot to ask, but any advice you can give to help me get the most out of the land would be much appreciated!

I’m so glad you introduced me to Wise Bread, and that I can now find you here! Lots of great, useful information!

Thanks, Carol Mack

[volleyjoy1]

A lot of dessert bars call for an 8x8 pan, but sometimes I need more for a larger gathering (or to have some made in the freezer). How can I convert the recipe to a 9x13 pan? I’m afraid to just double the recipe because baking is such a science and I don’t want to ruin the recipe….

[Herb Farm]

Originally Posted by Mary Webber

Oh, but I do so love to get out of the kitchen and away from food questions occasionally! First to give a little background to my answer... My husband Bert and I are both residential real estate appraisers, he is certified while I am licensed. His background beyond 20 years as an appaiser is in the lumber business and construction industry. He knows his sutff! And of course when we appraise a house we start with a cellar to attic inspection.

Although home energy audits are very "in" at the moment, and unquestionably can be helpful, I think most people have a pretty good idea where their house is cold and losing energy, costing them money. Energy audits cost on average several hundred dollars and the companies that do them are insanely busy at this point. For most folks, it's a case of what to tackle first, how to get the most payback for what money you can afford to lay out, and what can you do yourself. Heck, you can start by holding a candle or lantern and going around door and window frames in a light wind to see how just much seepage makes that flame flicker.

Walk around the outside of your house paying special attention to where the foundation meets the sills. Gaps? The old-timers used to lay hay bales around the foundation and if you aren't fussy about appearances, try that. Otherwise consider closing gaps anyway you easily can, rigid or soft insulation, plastic sheeting, etc. It's a place to start.

Probably windows, doors and any attic space are your biggest concerns indoors. Remembering that heat rises, you want to be very sure that any attic space is well insulated. If it's been a few years since you've checked that crawl space overhead and you frankly haven't even given it a thought, well, you'd better scuttle up the scuttle and check it out. Be sure to maintain ventilation too.

Windows are notorious for heat leakage, both the glass panes themselves and the surrounds. Even if you have storm windows, heat loss through window areas can be significant especially in an older house whose nearby walls may not be well insulated. We do have storm windows on our house, but have decided that one of the two or three things we can afford to do this summer that will yield us the best return will be to buy insulated blinds. We do have blinds too, but they are privacy blinds only, and the insulated ones are far, far snugger. For our large bay window, which should be replaced, we'll caulk and I've make a fitted drape for it out of heavy-weight fleece. That made an enormous difference last winter.

The second thing we know we'll do is buy new storm doors, way, way overdue. We plan to get the Anderson 4000's, not cheap but well recommended by family members who've installed them. One entry door that seems to get overlooked but can cause the chillies is any door connecting the house to an unheated garage. Think about that. Also, we have two sets of exterior French doors that we're still undecided how to cover. Any ideas?

There's much, much more that can be done of course. For example, if you have a chimney, be sure the damper is kept tightly closed, maybe even block the front of the fireplace when it's not in use.

And please, make use of community services, and there are MANY available, that will check your home, advise you, in some cases help with the cost or installation of materials at little or no cost to the homeowner. Elderly homeowners often are particularly eligible, easily and quickly qualifying in many cases for these services. A lot of high schools with community service requirements for graduation are making winterization projects part of their outreach. And, while this whole winterization thing is also an area is be especially wary of scams, in these tough times, neighbors truly are trying to help neighbors, and that is both heart and hearth-warming!

Another thought on saving on your heating bill. I rented a house with very drafty windows. I used plastic sheeting from a kit. Installation was a snap. Used a hair dryer. The plastic was so clear I left the sheeting on until I moved out.

[melaroe]

When is it a good age to tell your child(ren) about their parents' income, expenses, and household budget in order to prepare them for real-life?

[Mary Webber]

Originally Posted by Will

One of our readers asked this question anonymously:

I'm really impressed that you are asking this. I truly believe that food/eating issues rank right up there with money and sex as challenges to the building of a good and lasting marriage. Why would I feel that way? Well, there are three areas we need to look at, explore a little, and although I'll try to keep this somewhat succinct, bear with me, okay?

The three areas we need to talk over are food-related emotional issues, eating styles and shopping patterns.

The big challenge with food is that we've been eating since we were born, and there's no way to avoid it on a daily basis. So, first let's talk about what food was/is to you. Is it just nourishment for a healthy, active body, nuturing for your soul, a reward, a comfort, or maybe even -as it is for me - a way of loving, both in the making and in the serving? Was food, through allergies, pickiness, or even eating disorders, a focus of concern in your home?

While the dinner table can be a wonderful family-building place -and time - it also certainly can be a bitter battleground, something I suspect we've all witnessed. One scenario involves the wife (working or not) who plans, prepares, and serves a nice meal to her husband which he then receives with delight or disdain, approval and appreciation or an angry, "You know I can't stand carrots."

Or perhaps you've seen a parent who makes a power issue of a child finishing a particular food they hate, or cleaning their plate when they're just not hungry. (This is the perfect time for that "no-thank-you" helping, which I might add, I feel picky adults should also be expected to eat.)

When you were a kid, who "owned" the kitchen or was it an open and welcoming place? Were there treasured rituals around food, traditional meals for certain occasions? Do you have any passed-down family recipes?

Anyway, I'm sure you understand what I'm getting at here. Childhood interactions around food have long-lingering and often potent effects on our adult selves. Now, that said, let's move on to part two of our considerations, eating styles.

Is one of you a grazer while the other believes in eating sit-down meals on a fairly regular schedule? Does one of you like to eat early while the other finds a later hour more civilized? Does one of you think that supper isn't a complete meal unless it's meat and potatoes? Or think that bread must always be on the table? Or that a casserole is suspect as a main dish? What's a good snack, a perfect dessert? Before we leave these few questions that I really hope get you thiniking and talking, each of you please name three foods that you just will NOT eat.

Okay, now let's look at the third part of this equation, shopping patterns. Does one of you believe in lists and a once-a-week trip to the store while the other is more likely to stop off at the store two or three times a week just to "pick up a few things." Is one of you more likely to plan a few meals ahead and shop accordingly while the other likes to kind of wing it depending on what you both feel like eating that day?

Do you only buy brand names, seldom check out unit-pricing tags, or even price tags for that matter? Do you buy little "treats," maybe sneak a few extras such as magazines, kitchen tools, pet toys, etc. into the cart because who can argue with a grocery bill? Check the non-food items in your grocer cart... how bad??

And finally, let's put all this together. Newlyweds need to answer these questions for themselves of course, get a perspective on their partner's approach to food and eating, and then start negotiating what will be in your joint life.

To some degree, you really need to share the planning of meals even more than the shopping and preparing. Keep in mind that meal-planning is THE most time-consuming (and wasting) repetitive chore in most households. AND, where the question "What'll we have for supper?" isn't asked until 3 pm or later, it's a b-i-g chunk of the budget.

Can you agree to some turn-taking on meal prep? Can you remember that a good cook always cleans up after him/herself? Will you be gracious if something appears on the table that you'd only give a four on the ten-scale? This whole thing may seem like a hassle right now because love will smooth the way, right? We're over-thinking this, right? NOPE, because every morsel of the work you do now on these issues will be doubly worthwhile if children enter your lives! Just trust me on this one!

[Mary Webber]

Originally Posted by Loriw

How do I fix a huge financial mistake? I have 3 children. One is starting college this fall, one is getting her driver's license soon and one is 12. I have mistakenly spoiled them. Now, our financial situation will not allow for spoiling. We can barely meet the necessaties. We have credit card balances as a result in purchases that they didn't really need, but they wanted it and we got it for them. Honestly, my husband isn't any better. He wants to eat out all the time and go to movies, plays, ie not cheap entertainment and he's a electronics junkie.

So, anyway, times are tough at our house. How do I undo what I have done to my children (and hubs)? I know I have to start with frugal living. But, where do I start?

Thanks for your suggestions Mary.

WHOA, yank those horses back, pull those reins in tight!! From what you've said, I get the feeling that you've been the adult in your family, have taken the responsibility for the finances etc. Of course, if that's the case, it also means that you're the one who has to say "no," "whoa" and "This party is so OVER!" Being in that spot is so very tough, not enviable at all as being the party-pooper never is popular.

Same advice I always give about money management that involves more than one person. Drag them all, kicking and screaming if need be, to the table for a family conference. Lay it all out in black and white... this is what we have, this is what we owe, this is how bleak things look, and I can't - I won't - continue to deal with it on my own while you guys glide."

WHEN YOU PUT MONEY MATTERS, FIRM FIGURES, ON PAPER, IT CAN TAKE ANY DISCUSSION, AT LEAST A LITTLE, OUT OF THE VERY PERSONAL PLACE IT'S BEEN.

When you are looking at family financial information, first of all make sure that you and your husband are sitting side-by-side, looking togetherat those figures, NOT across from one another. May sound silly but it's one of the most valuable things I have ever learned, something I read in a wonderful book called Getting to Yes.

NEXT, DO NOT LET OTHERS CEDE RESPONSIBLY AND TRY TO MAINTAIN YOU IN THE AUTHORITY POSITION BY ASKING YOU QUESTIONS, BECAUSE, WELL, "YOU'VE BEEN DEALING WITH IT ALL ALONG." A good, burden-sharing response might be, "WELL, I THINK THAT INFO'S HERE, CAN YOU TAKE A LOOK FOR IT?

You MUST make your family members see the reality of the situation before you can even begin to think about addressing any particulars, getting them to make even minute changes in their free-spending - and blissfully unaware - ways.

If your family members simply will not acknowledge what's happening, then you'll still have choices although you may not like them and may find them almost unthinkable. Or you may worry yourself sick, quite literally. You, and you must insist, your husband can go to a credit or debt counselor (go to your local Consumer Credit Counseling Center or a similar organization, NOT a for-profit financial advisor or debt settlement agency.) and find out just how bad off you really, really are, making absolutely sure you're not just panicking from watching the evening news. That person can often show you ways to save on certain debts, negotiate some lowerec payments, etc. And they'll help you cut up those credit cards!

You don't say whether you've already dipped into the serious family assests such as the equity in your home, borrowing against insurance, taking hardship withdrawals from retirement funds, but with the high-balance, high-cost credit card debt you mention, I suspect you've probably got your backs pretty close to the wall. DO NOT EVEN CONSIDER A DEBT CONSOLIDATION LOAN.

That's a start, but you really need everyone to be part of the solution. That kid who's going off to college had better be planing on working a part-time job, not counting on you for spending money, and should be responisble for his/her own phone bills which can be huge. Or, maybe he/she can NOT start college this semester because you just don't have, and can't possibly scrape up the money, and you need the help straightening out the current mess. Tight times, tough love!

That daughter who's getting her license better not plan on having regular access to a car, as you may need to sell one of the family cars, if you have more than one. If it's a question of keeping up appearances, and with kids, it always is to some degree, well, that's another whole issue to be dealt with. If it's a question of having trouble keeping up with car payments, always first try to work out a lowered re-finance deal as most dealers/banks really don't want your used car back. And if that daughter is going to drive, be sure she takes responsibility for the increased insurance costs. If your mother's-mind is already wailing on her behalf, "How will she pay for it?" well, then you'll need some heart-hardening and spine-stiffening, Mom.

And then there's the twelve-year-old. Same things. I answered a question earlier about clothes shopping for kids, please check that answer as it does apply here. And, you know, not every kids HAS to have a cell phone, etc. in spite of what they believe and tell you...repeatedly!

Your husband...if he's not willing to step up and be the other half of a responsible team here, well...you may have to make some even tougher decisions. You certainly can't undo what's done, you can't un-buy what's bought (although I'd most definitely look into returning or selling anything possible), but you can take a deep breath and work hard to stop, and then change, the spending patterns.

Everybody in the family has played a part in getting to this uncomfortable and downright frightening place where you now are; everyone must pitch in for your family to regain its financial stability and strength. It can be done, but it's going to be painful for all. I so sincerely hope your family comes together and makes it through this tough time...together. Please keep in touch and let me know how you're doing.