In-laws teaching my kids unfrugal habits - Page 2

purplefdu · 01-13-2008, 04:10 PM

I agree it needs to be discussed and limited or cut out all together if it is a serious issue, but you need to be realistic. If you tell them expensive toys aren't ok, they may switch to expensive clothes instead, stating they are "useful" or something like that. I really like the idea of saving for games, rentals, etc. Your son can put some of his money towards that and some towards a savings account if he likes, since you didn't have to output that money. I know we limit ourselves to $10 for each of my neices or $30 for the family. My sister-in-law normally gets a card instead of a gift so the kids can have toys. We're not rich, but we are better off than she is through better spending habits. As long as your kids understand that a cheaper gift doesn't mean you love him less you'll be ok.

khorrell · 02-20-2008, 06:28 AM

What an interesting topic! One thing that has helped me is having a personal "elder rule." I allow myself to speak my mind about gifts with people who are my relative peers - sisters, sometimes my mom (who is more like a sister to me), some friends. However, if they fall into the "elder" category, I keep my mouth shut and gratefully accept the gifts. If my grandfather wants to spoil his great-grandchildren with half their Christmas list, so be it. He gets pleasure from watching them enjoy his gifts, and I like knowing that he is enjoying them.

Kathryn · 02-20-2008, 07:07 AM

At ages 8 and 14, there should be no shortage of things for your boys to save/spend their allowance on (and thus learn the value of budgeting, needs-vs-wants, etc.), even if g'ma and g'pa are forthcoming with more hardware than they could ever possibly need. Others have mentioned games and accessories specifically for the Wii, but especially for the older one things like music downloads, prepaid cell phones/minutes if that's in the picture, etc.

jdp · 02-20-2008, 07:39 AM

When faced with things like this I try to remember that MY life lessons aren't necessarily going to be my son's life lessons. And as much as I enjoy sharing my knowledge and values that ultimately he is his own person and will be faced with much more of the world than I myself was growing up and will have to learn to deal with it all in his own way.

Then again everyone I know thinks I'm horrible for not indoctrinating him into the family religion preferring for him to make up his own mind.

So take my advice with a grain of salt. Apparently I'm off my nut

That and I think I posted the same in some parenting forum about 2 years ago (how's that for a slow process making peace with my life lol).

01-13-2008, 04:10 PM	#11
purplefdu Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Eliot, ME USA Posts: 538 Reputation: (27)	I agree it needs to be discussed and limited or cut out all together if it is a serious issue, but you need to be realistic. If you tell them expensive toys aren't ok, they may switch to expensive clothes instead, stating they are "useful" or something like that. I really like the idea of saving for games, rentals, etc. Your son can put some of his money towards that and some towards a savings account if he likes, since you didn't have to output that money. I know we limit ourselves to $10 for each of my neices or $30 for the family. My sister-in-law normally gets a card instead of a gift so the kids can have toys. We're not rich, but we are better off than she is through better spending habits. As long as your kids understand that a cheaper gift doesn't mean you love him less you'll be ok. __________________ Homeward Bound Puppy Blog&Personal Blog best general coupon site & organic grocery coupon help

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02-20-2008, 06:28 AM	#12
khorrell Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 439 Reputation: (60)	What an interesting topic! One thing that has helped me is having a personal "elder rule." I allow myself to speak my mind about gifts with people who are my relative peers - sisters, sometimes my mom (who is more like a sister to me), some friends. However, if they fall into the "elder" category, I keep my mouth shut and gratefully accept the gifts. If my grandfather wants to spoil his great-grandchildren with half their Christmas list, so be it. He gets pleasure from watching them enjoy his gifts, and I like knowing that he is enjoying them.

02-20-2008, 07:07 AM	#13
Kathryn Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 108 Reputation: (17)	At ages 8 and 14, there should be no shortage of things for your boys to save/spend their allowance on (and thus learn the value of budgeting, needs-vs-wants, etc.), even if g'ma and g'pa are forthcoming with more hardware than they could ever possibly need. Others have mentioned games and accessories specifically for the Wii, but especially for the older one things like music downloads, prepaid cell phones/minutes if that's in the picture, etc.

02-20-2008, 07:39 AM	#14
jdp Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 205 Reputation: (24)	When faced with things like this I try to remember that MY life lessons aren't necessarily going to be my son's life lessons. And as much as I enjoy sharing my knowledge and values that ultimately he is his own person and will be faced with much more of the world than I myself was growing up and will have to learn to deal with it all in his own way. Then again everyone I know thinks I'm horrible for not indoctrinating him into the family religion preferring for him to make up his own mind. So take my advice with a grain of salt. Apparently I'm off my nut That and I think I posted the same in some parenting forum about 2 years ago (how's that for a slow process making peace with my life lol).