Peer Pressure to Spend - Page 2

purplefdu · 01-13-2008, 04:25 PM

I've never had that issue. Being an introvert has made me rather cheap to start with. I mean I can spend $10 for a romantic candlelit dinner at home or $50 to go to the "it" restaurant on Valentine's day. Staying home means I can splurge on a nice bottle of wine and still come out ahead and not deal with stupid people. So if a friend suggested going out logic says only a fool spends more to have a inferior experience. Granted I am a good cook, but even if I wasn't I'd opt for the cheaper experience.

rstlne · 01-14-2008, 02:16 PM

I'm fortunate to have friends who know how to have a good time inexpensively. We have picnics. We do charity work. We sample cheap hole-in-the-wall ethnic restaurants in the city.

Rebecca · 01-14-2008, 03:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rstlne

I'm fortunate to have friends who know how to have a good time inexpensively. We have picnics. We do charity work. We sample cheap hole-in-the-wall ethnic restaurants in the city.

I think that's my answer. I just need to find some friends who are going to live on the same level as I am. I want friends who support me in this, not tempt me (even if they are just asking me to be nice).

girlfromsouth · 01-14-2008, 04:29 PM

I'm about to go out to a restaurant week dinner, so I'm already feeling guilty about something similar.

But, I'm going to live with the splurge because it's a restaurant I'd never be able to afford to go to otherwise.

Anyway, I always feel horrible in these situations, and then I resort to basically lying about it and then I feel even worse. I think a lot of people underestimate the effect of social/peer pressure on people trying to become more frugal - I know I did. I thought it'd be so easy to buckle down, etc. etc., and you just don't think about the guilt you start getting from everywhere if you decide to live without the constant nights/dinners/drinks/shows out anymore. I hate it!

I love this forum the most because it at least shows me that I'm not crazy.

boba1212 · 01-15-2008, 06:50 PM

I think the "you only live once" comment might've been made in all good fun with no negative connotations. Have you refused her often in the past? My friends complain that I say, "I can't, I'm broke" too many times (even though I may be honest). Maybe she just misses you and wants to spend some time with you. You could, as someone suggested, ask her to take a raincheck....but make sure you follow-up! Or try and suggest fun, frugal alternatives.

Rebecca · 01-16-2008, 04:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by boba1212

I think the "you only live once" comment might've been made in all good fun with no negative connotations. Have you refused her often in the past? My friends complain that I say, "I can't, I'm broke" too many times (even though I may be honest). Maybe she just misses you and wants to spend some time with you. You could, as someone suggested, ask her to take a raincheck....but make sure you follow-up! Or try and suggest fun, frugal alternatives.

I think if I hadn't told her "I can't I'm broke" about a gazillion times, I would definitely take that interpretation of it...I tried to explain the $ thing again and she gave me an eyeroll...I think you're absolutely right, that she does miss me and wants to spend time with me, but I need to come up with some cheaper ways!

Annie · 01-16-2008, 08:22 AM

Don't let it get to you. Whenever you get frustrated, just think of how you'll be dealing with much less pain than your friend in the future. Maybe she sent you the e-mail in an attempt to make herself feel better about her own situation, kind of a weak attempt at justifying all of her over-spending habits.

pastorjezer · 01-16-2008, 12:40 PM

It's always annoying when you get invited to something that exceeds your budget, but that's part of the lifestyle change you mae when you look at your finances with a different philosophy. It used to be easy for me to blow $100 going to restaurants and the like. But now that my finances have rebounded and my financial security has greatly improved, I get much more enjoymeny and peace than spending my hard-earned cash on something that provides only temporal satisfaction.

Ronni · 01-16-2008, 01:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rebecca

I tried to explain the $ thing again and she gave me an eyeroll.

Grrr, not cool at all! Honestly, if I want to do something that badly with a friend who I know can't afford it, I'd offer to pay. If she's giving you such a hard time, the least she could do is the same thing. Or at least not roll her eyes because you're being responsible with your finances! BLAH.

72Tiger · 01-16-2008, 03:24 PM

Find something fun or interesting to do that is cheap or free and invite your co-worker/friend along. Best of both worlds - you get to enjoy the company of your friend and you can put the money you save towards getting out of debt.

01-13-2008, 04:25 PM	#11
purplefdu Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Eliot, ME USA Posts: 538 Reputation: (27)	I've never had that issue. Being an introvert has made me rather cheap to start with. I mean I can spend $10 for a romantic candlelit dinner at home or $50 to go to the "it" restaurant on Valentine's day. Staying home means I can splurge on a nice bottle of wine and still come out ahead and not deal with stupid people. So if a friend suggested going out logic says only a fool spends more to have a inferior experience. Granted I am a good cook, but even if I wasn't I'd opt for the cheaper experience. __________________ Homeward Bound Puppy Blog&Personal Blog best general coupon site & organic grocery coupon help

01-16-2008, 12:40 PM	#18
pastorjezer Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Houston Posts: 13 Reputation: (13)	Big Spenders It's always annoying when you get invited to something that exceeds your budget, but that's part of the lifestyle change you mae when you look at your finances with a different philosophy. It used to be easy for me to blow $100 going to restaurants and the like. But now that my finances have rebounded and my financial security has greatly improved, I get much more enjoymeny and peace than spending my hard-earned cash on something that provides only temporal satisfaction.

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01-14-2008, 02:16 PM	#12
rstlne Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: New Jersey Posts: 364 Reputation: (115)	I'm fortunate to have friends who know how to have a good time inexpensively. We have picnics. We do charity work. We sample cheap hole-in-the-wall ethnic restaurants in the city.

01-14-2008, 04:29 PM	#14
girlfromsouth Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Washington DC Posts: 36 Reputation: (10)	I'm about to go out to a restaurant week dinner, so I'm already feeling guilty about something similar. But, I'm going to live with the splurge because it's a restaurant I'd never be able to afford to go to otherwise. Anyway, I always feel horrible in these situations, and then I resort to basically lying about it and then I feel even worse. I think a lot of people underestimate the effect of social/peer pressure on people trying to become more frugal - I know I did. I thought it'd be so easy to buckle down, etc. etc., and you just don't think about the guilt you start getting from everywhere if you decide to live without the constant nights/dinners/drinks/shows out anymore. I hate it! I love this forum the most because it at least shows me that I'm not crazy.

01-15-2008, 06:50 PM	#15
boba1212 Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 75 Reputation: (10)	I think the "you only live once" comment might've been made in all good fun with no negative connotations. Have you refused her often in the past? My friends complain that I say, "I can't, I'm broke" too many times (even though I may be honest). Maybe she just misses you and wants to spend some time with you. You could, as someone suggested, ask her to take a raincheck....but make sure you follow-up! Or try and suggest fun, frugal alternatives.

01-16-2008, 08:22 AM	#17
Annie Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 57 Reputation: (10)	Don't let it get to you. Whenever you get frustrated, just think of how you'll be dealing with much less pain than your friend in the future. Maybe she sent you the e-mail in an attempt to make herself feel better about her own situation, kind of a weak attempt at justifying all of her over-spending habits.

01-16-2008, 03:24 PM	#20
72Tiger Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Knoxville, TN Posts: 297 Reputation: (38)	Find something fun or interesting to do that is cheap or free and invite your co-worker/friend along. Best of both worlds - you get to enjoy the company of your friend and you can put the money you save towards getting out of debt.