Pre-parenting Worries - Page 2

lucille · 01-04-2008, 10:59 AM

Items that you won't need could go to a kids resale store, you could use the funds to buy future things you will need. There are also many kids related charities than always need things. Programs for low income parents, foster programs, schools and hospitals for kids with major medical issues, toys for tots you name it.

Something my mom suggested I do when our first one was younger was to rotate toys through. We would give him a group of toys and when he was bored with those put them up in the closet for a while and get out another group of toys. It worked better than having them all out all the time. They were a bit overwhelming and made a big mess if they were all out all the time.

VaranusK · 01-07-2008, 03:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rodaniel

By my way of thinking, our little guy doesn't need interactive toys nearly so much as he needs interactive parents.
Rob

What a nice sentence... I am sure you will be excellent parents. Those deeply concerned with education are usually on the good way, even when they have doubts.

All the best wishes!

Michelle Dawn · 01-07-2008, 06:26 PM

I can really relate to this post. My husband and I are expecting our first baby in April and we live in a small one bedroom (about 500 sq ft) apartment. The rent is exceptionally cheap and we don't want to move until buying a house. Having said that it really makes you stop and think about every purchase you make for your child. It's amazing the things people consider necessities.

We have decided the baby will sleep with us mostly, and the pack n' play when need be. So we aren't purchasing a crib or bassinet. Some people honestly think you are depriving your child if you don't have a swing or exersaucer, etc. We won't be buying any of this stuff. I just hope that our family genuinely listens to our wishes when we have a baby shower next month. We really don't have space for anything unnecessary.

rodaniel · 01-08-2008, 04:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Michelle Dawn

Some people honestly think you are depriving your child if you don't have a swing...

We finally had to break down and specifically ask that our shower hostesses not buy a swingset for our backyard. They had decided that they'd pool their money and give us a big-ticket item that was not on our registry lists. Dede handled it very tactfully, but simply let them know that we don't really have enough space for a swingset. (We actually have a fairly big backyard, but there's a large storage building in the back corner, a big patio off of the house, and a couple of trees, so there are no large contiguous areas available for a big swingset.

Plus, we're only 3 blocks from one of the largest parks in town and about 2 blocks either way to a couple of elementary schools, each with a nice playground.

Michelle Dawn · 01-08-2008, 04:38 AM

It's a good thing Dede is able to express herself assertively and tactfully. It would have been a shame to spend so much money on something that isn't needed or wanted. People have the best intentions and it's such a nice gesture, but really why let them waste their money?

gspencer · 01-11-2008, 08:29 PM

It is wonderful that you have family and friends that are so excited for you and want to shower you with "all the best" (in their minds)... but maybe you can try extra hard to guide the host/hostess towards your much wanted (and needed) gifts - like a nice car seat. Other options are to ask for gift cards that you can use in future years for things that come up (like childproofing materials - those little kids don't stay little long, or clothes). Another thing that a lot of my family got my daughter on Christmas, birthdays and even at my baby shower is $$ to go towards her future college education. Hey, who can say No to that!!

gspencer · 01-11-2008, 08:39 PM

Quote:

We have decided the baby will sleep with us mostly, and the pack n' play when need be. So we aren't purchasing a crib or bassinet. Some people honestly think you are depriving your child if you don't have a swing or exersaucer, etc. We won't be buying any of this stuff. I just hope that our family genuinely listens to our wishes when we have a baby shower next month. We really don't have space for anything unnecessary.

If your family does get you any of the stuff you don't want, just make sure you get a gift receipt so you can return it for gift card money. Plus, you never know what items you might think you'll never use, but then end up really wishing you had to make your life easier (with your new little one). We basically decided to do what you guys are doing and then ended up really wishing we got a few more items (like a cradle swing and a rocking chair) and just made the room for them, because our daughter needed to be held to sleep... often all the way through the night... and sitting up. sigh. So return what you don't think you'll use (because gift cards don't expire, gift receipts do) and then you'll have the possibility of buying them when you do need them or buying something else your child will need in the future (clothes!).

rodaniel · 01-12-2008, 05:26 AM

Well, it seems that most of my worries were for naught - the ladies at work hosted a nice, simple shower for Dede & me on Thursday and it was great!

Russian Adoption Journal - Liam's Baby Shower

Although I had been fretting over how much stuff we'd get that we either don't need or have space for, the majority of the gifts we received were very practical and much-needed items. (I'd guess that we're stocked on diapers for about 2 months!) And several very generous folks gave us Target gift cards, so we'll have no trouble picking out what few necessities we didn't receive. There were so many nice things, but the standout items were a very cool "Tripp Trapp" high chair, an incredibly light McLaren stroller, and a really nice "convertible" car seat that I haven't quite figured out how to mount in the Element yet.

And a Glo Worm!

Knowing that's she's more than a little germophobic, one of our co-workers gave Dede a half-gallon of hand santizer & a shoebox-sized container of Germ-X towelettes in the little individual packets. What a hoot!

Rob

Linsey Knerl · 01-13-2008, 09:46 PM

You have every right to be concerned. I find that limiting TV time is the best battle against the consumerism crazies that get into kids, especially around Christmas time. We also make sure that they have LOTS of open-ended toys: several kinds of blocks, tons of puzzles, books that are well-illustrated (dinosaurs are a win-win), and music to listen to. They get a few name-branded toys a year, but we try to limit anything with batteries. My kids favorite toys are still kitchen utensils and old hats!

jdp · 01-17-2008, 07:26 AM

I'm sorry I can't answer your question. I lost this battle with family and friends. My son is a "stuff" kid. But I console myself with his very active personality - no t.v. couch potato there. And none of the "stuff" stifled his imagination. He can do just as much with some cardboard, tape and wood as he can with expensive Imaginext or Lego toys. I prefer to think its his own path to find himself lol.

01-07-2008, 06:26 PM	#13
Michelle Dawn Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: C-Town, PEI, Canada Posts: 68 Reputation: (10)	I can really relate to this post. My husband and I are expecting our first baby in April and we live in a small one bedroom (about 500 sq ft) apartment. The rent is exceptionally cheap and we don't want to move until buying a house. Having said that it really makes you stop and think about every purchase you make for your child. It's amazing the things people consider necessities. We have decided the baby will sleep with us mostly, and the pack n' play when need be. So we aren't purchasing a crib or bassinet. Some people honestly think you are depriving your child if you don't have a swing or exersaucer, etc. We won't be buying any of this stuff. I just hope that our family genuinely listens to our wishes when we have a baby shower next month. We really don't have space for anything unnecessary. __________________ Meet me at FRUGAL PARENTING "A wise man should have money in his head, but not in his heart" (Jonathan Swift)

01-08-2008, 04:38 AM	#15
Michelle Dawn Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: C-Town, PEI, Canada Posts: 68 Reputation: (10)	It's a good thing Dede is able to express herself assertively and tactfully. It would have been a shame to spend so much money on something that isn't needed or wanted. People have the best intentions and it's such a nice gesture, but really why let them waste their money? __________________ Meet me at FRUGAL PARENTING "A wise man should have money in his head, but not in his heart" (Jonathan Swift)

01-11-2008, 08:29 PM	#16
gspencer Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: California Posts: 6 Reputation: (10)	Guide Graciously It is wonderful that you have family and friends that are so excited for you and want to shower you with "all the best" (in their minds)... but maybe you can try extra hard to guide the host/hostess towards your much wanted (and needed) gifts - like a nice car seat. Other options are to ask for gift cards that you can use in future years for things that come up (like childproofing materials - those little kids don't stay little long, or clothes). Another thing that a lot of my family got my daughter on Christmas, birthdays and even at my baby shower is $$ to go towards her future college education. Hey, who can say No to that!!

01-12-2008, 05:26 AM	#18
rodaniel Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Odessa, Texas Posts: 39 Reputation: (10)	Well, it seems that most of my worries were for naught - the ladies at work hosted a nice, simple shower for Dede & me on Thursday and it was great! Russian Adoption Journal - Liam's Baby Shower Although I had been fretting over how much stuff we'd get that we either don't need or have space for, the majority of the gifts we received were very practical and much-needed items. (I'd guess that we're stocked on diapers for about 2 months!) And several very generous folks gave us Target gift cards, so we'll have no trouble picking out what few necessities we didn't receive. There were so many nice things, but the standout items were a very cool "Tripp Trapp" high chair, an incredibly light McLaren stroller, and a really nice "convertible" car seat that I haven't quite figured out how to mount in the Element yet. And a Glo Worm! Knowing that's she's more than a little germophobic, one of our co-workers gave Dede a half-gallon of hand santizer & a shoebox-sized container of Germ-X towelettes in the little individual packets. What a hoot! Rob __________________ Life's a beach! \| http://www.2Dolphins.com/ Liam is finally home! \| Rob & Dede's Russian Adoption Journal

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01-04-2008, 10:59 AM	#11
lucille Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 421 Reputation: (26)	Items that you won't need could go to a kids resale store, you could use the funds to buy future things you will need. There are also many kids related charities than always need things. Programs for low income parents, foster programs, schools and hospitals for kids with major medical issues, toys for tots you name it. Something my mom suggested I do when our first one was younger was to rotate toys through. We would give him a group of toys and when he was bored with those put them up in the closet for a while and get out another group of toys. It worked better than having them all out all the time. They were a bit overwhelming and made a big mess if they were all out all the time.

01-13-2008, 09:46 PM	#19
Linsey Knerl Wise Bread Blogger Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 72 Reputation: (21)	You have every right to be concerned. I find that limiting TV time is the best battle against the consumerism crazies that get into kids, especially around Christmas time. We also make sure that they have LOTS of open-ended toys: several kinds of blocks, tons of puzzles, books that are well-illustrated (dinosaurs are a win-win), and music to listen to. They get a few name-branded toys a year, but we try to limit anything with batteries. My kids favorite toys are still kitchen utensils and old hats!

01-17-2008, 07:26 AM	#20
jdp Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 184 Reputation: (24)	I'm sorry I can't answer your question. I lost this battle with family and friends. My son is a "stuff" kid. But I console myself with his very active personality - no t.v. couch potato there. And none of the "stuff" stifled his imagination. He can do just as much with some cardboard, tape and wood as he can with expensive Imaginext or Lego toys. I prefer to think its his own path to find himself lol.