Stronger Parent-Child Relationships...on a Budget

[firstourselves]

How do you maintain a strong connection with your children, without spending a lot of money, resorting to materialism, and still maintain a simple lifestyle? That's something that I cover in my recent post, Positive Parenting: How to Build a Stronger Connection with Your Children...on a Budget, on my blog, firstourselves.com.

I'd love to hear your ideas.

Best,
Karly Pitman
www.firstourselves.com

[Xin Lu]

I remember that my mom did a lot of crafts with me and also played games she made up with me. She also made up a lot of weird stories and songs. I guess spending time is the key. We really didn't have much money so cheap entertainment had to do.

[Will]

It's a wonderful article Karly.

I especially enjoyed this part:

What [purchased] things bring is excitement: the rush of having something new. While there is a time and a place for gifts, you can recreate those same feelings in other ways, by incorporating magic and ritual to holidays and other celebrations.

This is so true. What I love about Christmas isn't the gifts, but rather the various rituals we have about decorating the house, baking special treats, and dressing up our cat (yes, I dress up my cat for Christmas... he loved it!)

[kav122]

I agree with Will. The things that I remember about the holidays and birthdays, and summer and everything else growing up are not the things, but the "magic." My mom created that by doing stuff with us, and TRULY sharing our excitement. I remember sitting watching my mom paint (she is an artist for a living) and talking with her. Even though she was working, that was a lot of fun.

[jdp]

I think some of your points are excellent. But for instance "give experiences not things" frequently turns into people thinking "got to go to the zoo, amusement park, movies, to the beach, I'll coach a soccer team for them!". I find that simply 'being present' when I am with my son is truly what makes us connect and everything else is just stuff. Maybe I am just blessed with a son who enjoys sitting curled up with mom and chatting as much as he likes to be playing some blasting game lol.

[firstourselves]

Yes; even experiences can turn into "too much." This is especially true today in a hyperparenting culture, where parents feel such pressure to have "successful children." I make a point to have down time with my children, to purposefully stay at home to just...be. It's hard to say no to activities, especially free ones---like a library story hour, for example. But this is where parenting by my values (and living by my values) comes into play: what kind of relationship do I want to have with my children? And am I putting in the time necessary to build that relationship? What kind of lifestyle do I want to have? Do I want a busy, full schedule, or do I want to create oasis of quiet?

I personally lean to the side of less activity, rather than more. And yet even with a few chosen activities, times six people in my home, means navigating a level of busyness that sometimes overwhelms....

[purplefdu]

I definitely found spending alot of time with my parents was the best part of my childhood. We moved alot but we always planned the route to go to museums, landmarks, etc. Even if we can't find all the pictures I still have great memories of some of the nation's best attractions. We also had lots of activities we did regularly:Sunday school, baking, grocery shopping (and matching coupons to things), braiding my hair, folding laundry. I may have walked myself home and been home alone for a bit every day, but the time I spent with my parents was meaningful and engaging.

[Miss Rosie]

Frugality almost forces you to be there, which is harder than it sounds. The world we live in now really tears parents and children apart.

My son and I had a great time together last night doing free things at home. They're not things I would have done one my own or even thought of, but I enjoyed them and got my world expanded a little bit. When I slow down and pay attention, I have the opportunity to learn from him, and I find more ways to have fun.

[moneymatters]

the things i remember about my childhood the best - as far as building a connection with my parents was just the fact that they were always involved in my life. They took me to music lessons, practiced with me, they home-schooled me for a while, and they were always supportive in the activities i engaged in. And always - we ate dinner together every night.