Making friends

[gunner05]

I have troubles making new meaningful friendships, i was hoping you guys at wisebread could give me some input/pointers on how to fix this problems.

It seems as though all the people I meet (through school or activities) already have a "social group" I don't really have any anxieties, but perhaps i was too conceited to admit to myself that i need friends around. My attitude for a long time was that " i was better than them, i can do it on my own.. if they want to be around me fine, if they don't, too bad for them.."

This has become a problem for me lately because i need the psychological support of friends and i want to start enjoying my youth (going to parties, having adult fun...)

I am not completely lonely per se, I have 2 reallly good friends (who are about to move!!!) and some family around...so i do consider myself lucky. But i want to meet new and interesting people and make them part of my life... not just once in a blue moon kind of relationship. Everythign in my life seems so mundane... i want to have fun and go out everyday, but i have no one to do this with or share my thoughts with...

If you must know, i do everything from home... I work, go to school (online classes) and shop from home with the power of the internet... which can be detrimental as you can see with my example. Also, i moved to the USA from canada a while back, so i left behind my main social group and my family friends (cousins, uncles....)

Any advise on how to improve my social situation would be highly appreciated! I have become depressed lately because things are not going my way in life. I've just realized how important it is to have people around me at all times.. despite my introversion. I think it is the source of my despair and i am hoping to fight it away by forming new friends and changing my mental attitude about people and social groups.

[Julie Rains]

I would think that this (spending so much time online and losing people connections) will become a problem for many people, so you aren't alone in that regard.

It would help if you got out some -- a walk around the neighborhood, a visit to the park, even window shopping at the mall. If you have particular interests, you could join a group that has weekly or monthly meetings, outings, etc.

You might also get to know the friends of your friends who are about to move, plan a get-together with co-workers or classmates who might happen to live in your town, or host a party for your neighbors. Sometimes, you'll meet people who you'll admire and instantly connect with and become lifelong friends; sometimes, you'll meet people who seem barely tolerable. Either way, you'll start forming connections and getting out more.

Let us know how it goes!

[khorrell]

Julie's advice is good. You might consider taking a part-time job that involves getting out of your house - I've found that a great way to meet people. Another idea is volunteering, or perhaps joining a place of worship. It is easy to get stuck into the online world with online friends and to miss out on more tangible friendships.

Good luck!

[michael123]

Yes I am agree with you

Originally Posted by khorrell

Julie's advice is good. You might consider taking a part-time job that involves getting out of your house - I've found that a great way to meet people. Another idea is volunteering, or perhaps joining a place of worship. It is easy to get stuck into the online world with online friends and to miss out on more tangible friendships.

Good luck!

[pidgeon92]

I don't have a large group of friends, either (nor does my husband). I just started up my photography hobby again, and have joined a local photography meetup group, this should get me out of the house a wee bit more, and it's nice to have a common goal in a social situation.

See if there are any local meetup groups in your area that focus on any of your interests....

http://www.meetup.com/

[Picard]

Volunteering for some cause that interests you will put you in touch with like minded people. Political parties, churches, library, many charitable, organizations, food pantries, museum or concert halls ....all use volunteers for one time, short or long term committments. Extending yourself to others is always a positive experience when it comes from the heart, and often makes your own issues and problems fade away. Get out there! Good Luck!

[SouthShoreGirl]

I agree with the Meetup.com suggestion. Also Yahoo Groups often has meet-up social groups. You can even start your own on a site such as Craigslist.

It's trial and error, hit and miss though. I've gone to some of these get-togethers and totally meshed with people and then nothing for others.

I also have met people through a sorority alumnae group in my area if you have a Greek life (or any other college connection-type interest).