Relationship advice to your younger self

Benton · 02-26-2008, 09:46 AM

If you could go ten years into the past to counsel your younger self what would you say?

I would tell myself this:

Don't have preconceptions about what kind of women are "your type".

Treat women with respect and expect the same in return. Puppy dog love is not healthy.

Relationships require work. You have to make time to talk to your partner. If you run out of things to talk to your partner about, it is time to reevaluate the relationship.

Never ask your girlfriend about the other guys she's dated.

You don't have to pretend to like everything your girlfriend likes. It is ok to have different hobbies.

And finally, have faith that you will find someone you love. Don't settle.

BamaRo · 02-26-2008, 10:02 AM

Those are good! I guess I'd tell myself to "just be yourself". Don't go into every relationship with hopes or expectations that he's Mr. Right, just live in the moment and enjoy getting to know each other and if he is it will become clear to both of you. Don't expect him to perfect but do expect him to be respectful and kind, and be the same to him.

BamaRo · 02-26-2008, 10:03 AM

Oh, but I"d have to go back further than ten years, LOL...I've been married for almost seventeen.

purplefdu · 02-27-2008, 09:18 AM

Make sure its obvious you like someone, it could save you 5 yrs of bad dating or not dating at all.

On the other hand it did get me the guy in the end, although I've spoken to a few since I was married who as my husband did never realized I liked them. Makes me wonder where I might be if I had (as some of them are rather successful and all nice guys).

khorrell · 02-28-2008, 01:19 PM

Don't waste time on relationships that clearly aren't making you happy.

StudentMom · 02-28-2008, 02:04 PM

Do not fall in love in a foreign country when you're 19 and get married.

USCGamecocks · 02-28-2008, 07:15 PM

Listen to your intuition.

kav122 · 02-29-2008, 07:26 AM

khorrell, so right on!

While in college I was in a relationship that was SO.WRONG! He cheated on me, lied, etc, etc, and for some reason I had this thing where I just HAD to (in the words of Tim Gunn) "make it work." Um, newsflash, it WASN'T working and never would. We did not have the foundation to a good relationship.

After that I realized "why waste your time?" I mean, if someone is not into you enough to be honest and faithful, you do NOT need to waste your time on them.

Surprise, surpise, as soon as I decided that I would not accept someone who was not honest and true, I found the one!

I think you get what you ask for *(not to go all "the secret" on you, I haven't even read that book), and I see it sometimes with others that say "I don't know why I keep dating these jerks!" Maybe it is what you are attracted to because you are scared or maybe these guys see that you LET them treat you that way, so they do.

Yeah, I think that was my biggest, but also least regrettable mistake because it got me where I am today.

Kathryn · 02-29-2008, 07:48 PM

this year's exciting and passionate is next year's borderline psychotic.

Solinvicta · 03-01-2008, 11:06 AM

"Don't take things too seriously in the beginning - lighten up."

02-26-2008, 09:46 AM	#1
Benton Junior Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 6 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Reputation: (10)	Relationship advice to your younger self If you could go ten years into the past to counsel your younger self what would you say? I would tell myself this: Don't have preconceptions about what kind of women are "your type". Treat women with respect and expect the same in return. Puppy dog love is not healthy. Relationships require work. You have to make time to talk to your partner. If you run out of things to talk to your partner about, it is time to reevaluate the relationship. Never ask your girlfriend about the other guys she's dated. You don't have to pretend to like everything your girlfriend likes. It is ok to have different hobbies. And finally, have faith that you will find someone you love. Don't settle.

02-27-2008, 09:18 AM	#4
purplefdu Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: York Beach, ME Posts: 627 Thanks: 0 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post Reputation: (29)	Make sure its obvious you like someone, it could save you 5 yrs of bad dating or not dating at all. On the other hand it did get me the guy in the end, although I've spoken to a few since I was married who as my husband did never realized I liked them. Makes me wonder where I might be if I had (as some of them are rather successful and all nice guys). __________________ Homeward Bound Puppy Blog&Personal Blog best general coupon site & organic grocery coupon help

02-28-2008, 07:15 PM	#7
USCGamecocks Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Columbia, SC Posts: 139 Thanks: 0 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post Reputation: (20)	Listen to your intuition. __________________ Timemakeover.com - Time Management Articles & Resources

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
Advice for airline tickets?	Willgly	General Discussion	6	10-22-2009 04:44 AM
advice for a college student seeking a credit card?	seaj11	Personal Finance	14	02-29-2008 08:31 AM
Health Insurance - Independent Buying Advice	Jonathan Pletzke	Promote Your Products and Services	0	01-25-2008 06:11 AM
Realtime advice request	jenai	Personal Finance	10	01-04-2008 06:16 PM
relationship costs	Greg	General Discussion	6	01-01-2008 07:19 PM

02-26-2008, 10:02 AM	#2
BamaRo Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 30 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Reputation: (10)	Those are good! I guess I'd tell myself to "just be yourself". Don't go into every relationship with hopes or expectations that he's Mr. Right, just live in the moment and enjoy getting to know each other and if he is it will become clear to both of you. Don't expect him to perfect but do expect him to be respectful and kind, and be the same to him.

02-26-2008, 10:03 AM	#3
BamaRo Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 30 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Reputation: (10)	Oh, but I"d have to go back further than ten years, LOL...I've been married for almost seventeen.

02-28-2008, 01:19 PM	#5
khorrell Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: near Washington DC Posts: 608 Thanks: 0 Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts Reputation: (85)	Don't waste time on relationships that clearly aren't making you happy.

02-28-2008, 02:04 PM	#6
StudentMom Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: VA Posts: 30 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Reputation: (11)	Do not fall in love in a foreign country when you're 19 and get married.

02-29-2008, 07:26 AM	#8
kav122 Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Minneapolis, MN Posts: 526 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Reputation: (243)	khorrell, so right on! While in college I was in a relationship that was SO.WRONG! He cheated on me, lied, etc, etc, and for some reason I had this thing where I just HAD to (in the words of Tim Gunn) "make it work." Um, newsflash, it WASN'T working and never would. We did not have the foundation to a good relationship. After that I realized "why waste your time?" I mean, if someone is not into you enough to be honest and faithful, you do NOT need to waste your time on them. Surprise, surpise, as soon as I decided that I would not accept someone who was not honest and true, I found the one! I think you get what you ask for *(not to go all "the secret" on you, I haven't even read that book), and I see it sometimes with others that say "I don't know why I keep dating these jerks!" Maybe it is what you are attracted to because you are scared or maybe these guys see that you LET them treat you that way, so they do. Yeah, I think that was my biggest, but also least regrettable mistake because it got me where I am today.

02-29-2008, 07:48 PM	#9
Kathryn Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 138 Thanks: 0 Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts Reputation: (19)	this year's exciting and passionate is next year's borderline psychotic.

03-01-2008, 11:06 AM	#10
Solinvicta Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Sandy Hook, CT Posts: 79 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Reputation: (12)	"Don't take things too seriously in the beginning - lighten up."