The Secret: does it really work?

[gt0163c]

Originally Posted by sliceoflife999

I've heard that you should keep trying and keep trying and work hard but, what if you've tried like 5 things that haven't? Am I just stupid or what?
Sorry to rant but I get downtrodden sometimes.

I don't think you're stupid. I think you're being realistic and I think you've realized that not everyone can do everything or at least not do it well. This is where The Secret and other similar ideas/methods fall down. There are things that each of us are just not able to do or do well. Now, I think that list is smaller than most of think it is. But, those things are there.

Personally, I will never be good at many physical sports. My body wasn't built to tumble. My knees won't hold up to a lot of running. I don't have a lot of the coordination required for hitting baseballs (not having a dominant eye seems to play a part in that). Now I can work to do these things adequately, but I will never be great at physical activities.
Similarly, I'm not great at coming up with the next great big idea. My mind works better at taking an idea and figuring out how to make it work rather than coming up with that idea in the first place. I'm not going to change the world by inventing the next big thing that changes the world.

But by realizing where my gifts and talents lay and where they do not, I've been able to do well and not be frustrated beating my head against the wall trying to do something that I'm just not going to be able to do.

If there's something you really want to do. Give it a shot. Work hard. Get all the help and guidance that you can. But, if it doesn't work out, don't consider yourself a failure. Admit that maybe it's not something you can do. Reassess what you are able to do, make some modifications and give it another go.

[ActfinJo]

This discussion seems to have been going on for a while. I think the 'secret' to life is that we get what we believe we will get. Our beliefs and expectations drive our thoughts, choices and attitudes. In turn, we 'magically' get just exactly what we expected to get out of life. A change in thought and expectation changes choices and attitudes. That, in turn, changes the outcome.

[gt0163c]

Originally Posted by ActfinJo

This discussion seems to have been going on for a while. I think the 'secret' to life is that we get what we believe we will get. Our beliefs and expectations drive our thoughts, choices and attitudes. In turn, we 'magically' get just exactly what we expected to get out of life. A change in thought and expectation changes choices and attitudes. That, in turn, changes the outcome.

I don't think I agree with this.
The thing is, this type of thinking can really harm those who have bad things happen to them.

Example: A friend of mine lost her husband a few years ago to a freak bicycle accident. He was out for a ride around the block with his two sons before dinner. Something happened. He tumbled over the handle bars, hit his head, went into a coma and died a few months later. Had she and her children believed that "we get what we believe we will get" they, most likely, would have been completely devastated, consumed by guilt and, well, it would have been a lot worse than it was (and it was bad...still is at times).

[trustno1]

Originally Posted by sliceoflife999

I've heard that you should keep trying and keep trying and work hard but, what if you've tried like 5 things that haven't? Am I just stupid or what?
Sorry to rant but I get downtrodden sometimes.

You have simply made 5 attempts that have failed.
OR
You are a "failure" (or stupid) because you made 5 unsuccessful attempts.

The first statement is true, the second statement is NOT. Trial and error is just a process, not an evaluation tool that measures character, intelligence, or personal worth of an individual.

Frustration and failures are constuctive feedback that help guide you to success in achieving a goal. Failures eliminate what "does not work", and frustration suggests your current expectations may require adjustments in difficulty of a task to a more realistic level which will increase the possibilities of success, and keep your motivation energized.

A series of small achievable steps to a goal usually produces better results than an "all or nothing" approach to the whole goal.

Whatever the outcome is, it is never a reflection of self-worth.

Just a thought...