Short notice invitations. Rude?

lucille · 08-26-2008, 01:38 PM

My daughter informed me that a schoolmate will be sending home a birthday party invitation Friday for a Saturday party. We have a number of things going on through the weekend and it is Labor Day weekend too. Kids parties usually involve needing to go out and buy a gift and depending on the party a parent to stay for the duration of the party. I though the short notice and details being provided less than 24 hours beforehand rather rude.

We had similar instances last year also. The daughter would come home with an invitation for a party 1-2 days away. Maybe we are just odd because we have thing planned on weekends frequently more than a week beforehand.

purplefdu · 08-26-2008, 09:28 PM

My mom's rules was always 24 hours for plans, but parties weren't plans they were events. A week is what I would consider the minimum, but some people are too silly to realize how much hassle they cause.

We don't have weekend plans weeks in advance all the time but we do plan to have weekends most times.

jdp · 08-27-2008, 05:46 AM

I try not to worry about rude or not. Can we go? We go. If we can't, oh well. My son takes "no" pretty well. We had the same thing but the mom called to apologize before we even got the invite in the mail. Told her we'd come. THEN the invite came and it was a sleep over. My kid is 5, we don't do sleep overs yet. So THEN I had to tell him you can go and come home at bedtime or you can not go at all. Jeesh.

kav122 · 08-27-2008, 06:01 AM

I agree with JDP. Although my little boy is only a year and a half, I don't worry about those kinds of things when we get any kind of invite. I see your side, because you were probably thinking that if someone went to the effort to invite you (and probably bought food, etc, expecting you to come), then it would be rude for you to NOT come. However, my thinking is that if someone sends me an invitation with little to no planning time, then they will have to expect that some (or even most) will not be able to swing it. More importantly I would say don't *not go* because the invitation was sent in an untimely manner, as I don't think that the host would notice, but it would set a bad example for your kid.

khorrell · 08-27-2008, 06:51 PM

Ditto that - I hate to say that I've been that parent who sends out late invitations. We have two summer birthdays at my house, and we're forever trying to squeeze birthday parties in on a weekend that both Mom and Dad are home, and there are no other family activities. Sometimes we don't realize until just before, or Mom doesn't get the invites out in a timely fashion. We know that some people can't make it, but I'd rather invite someone and have them decline than not invite a welcome guest just because we're throwing things together at the end. Heck, some of our best parties have been last minute!

Julie Rains · 08-29-2008, 05:01 PM

Most invites come days if not weeks in advance at my house, and then we figure out complicated schedules. But I don't mind if I get a short notice one (this has happened just a couple of times) and I don't think it has meant that my kid was on the B list but that some parents are more organized than others. (or perhaps more busy than others). I agree that if you can go and want to go, go; if not, don't.

What I think is odd is that some kids give cash and gift cards.

AlmostFrugal · 08-30-2008, 10:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Julie Rains

What I think is odd is that some kids give cash and gift cards.

Cash and gift cards at a kid's birthday party? That does seem strange to me. If I'm not sure of what gift to get a child I get them a book. In fact I almost always give kids books as presents, I don't think you can ever have enough! Gift cards for adults are a different story, but for a kid? I don't think so.

SouthShoreGirl · 08-31-2008, 10:33 AM

Nah, don't think it's rude. As adults, we usually are invited to a lot of get-togethers at the last minute--------2 the day of (like today). No biggy at all.

Gypsypunk · 09-01-2008, 02:07 AM

it's quite a hassle to get an invite for an event to be held within the next 24 hours. just the same, decline politely if you can't go, but it's also fun to just go if you can.

jdp · 09-02-2008, 06:15 AM

I think depending on the child I'd do a gift card.

Someone did that for my nephew. He had more fun going to the bookstore and picking out his book, "paying for it" and cuddling that bag the whole way home....cracked me up.

08-26-2008, 01:38 PM	#1
lucille Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 657 Reputation: (35)	Short notice invitations. Rude? My daughter informed me that a schoolmate will be sending home a birthday party invitation Friday for a Saturday party. We have a number of things going on through the weekend and it is Labor Day weekend too. Kids parties usually involve needing to go out and buy a gift and depending on the party a parent to stay for the duration of the party. I though the short notice and details being provided less than 24 hours beforehand rather rude. We had similar instances last year also. The daughter would come home with an invitation for a party 1-2 days away. Maybe we are just odd because we have thing planned on weekends frequently more than a week beforehand. __________________ Dark Style Blog http://darkstyleblog.blogspot.com/

08-26-2008, 09:28 PM	#2
purplefdu Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: York Beach, ME Posts: 629 Reputation: (28)	My mom's rules was always 24 hours for plans, but parties weren't plans they were events. A week is what I would consider the minimum, but some people are too silly to realize how much hassle they cause. We don't have weekend plans weeks in advance all the time but we do plan to have weekends most times. __________________ Homeward Bound Puppy Blog&Personal Blog best general coupon site & organic grocery coupon help

08-29-2008, 05:01 PM	#6
Julie Rains Wise Bread Blogger Join Date: May 2007 Location: North Carolina Posts: 382 Reputation: (189)	Most invites come days if not weeks in advance at my house, and then we figure out complicated schedules. But I don't mind if I get a short notice one (this has happened just a couple of times) and I don't think it has meant that my kid was on the B list but that some parents are more organized than others. (or perhaps more busy than others). I agree that if you can go and want to go, go; if not, don't. What I think is odd is that some kids give cash and gift cards. __________________ Wise Bread and Parenting Squad blogger

08-31-2008, 10:33 AM	#8
SouthShoreGirl Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Long Island, NY Posts: 85 Reputation: (12)	Nah, don't think it's rude. As adults, we usually are invited to a lot of get-togethers at the last minute--------2 the day of (like today). No biggy at all. __________________ http://longbeachbabe.blogspot.com/

09-01-2008, 02:07 AM	#9
Gypsypunk Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 17 Reputation: (10)	it's quite a hassle to get an invite for an event to be held within the next 24 hours. just the same, decline politely if you can't go, but it's also fun to just go if you can. __________________ recycle

08-27-2008, 05:46 AM	#3
jdp Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 227 Reputation: (29)	I try not to worry about rude or not. Can we go? We go. If we can't, oh well. My son takes "no" pretty well. We had the same thing but the mom called to apologize before we even got the invite in the mail. Told her we'd come. THEN the invite came and it was a sleep over. My kid is 5, we don't do sleep overs yet. So THEN I had to tell him you can go and come home at bedtime or you can not go at all. Jeesh.

08-27-2008, 06:01 AM	#4
kav122 Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Minneapolis, MN Posts: 526 Reputation: (243)	I agree with JDP. Although my little boy is only a year and a half, I don't worry about those kinds of things when we get any kind of invite. I see your side, because you were probably thinking that if someone went to the effort to invite you (and probably bought food, etc, expecting you to come), then it would be rude for you to NOT come. However, my thinking is that if someone sends me an invitation with little to no planning time, then they will have to expect that some (or even most) will not be able to swing it. More importantly I would say don't not go because the invitation was sent in an untimely manner, as I don't think that the host would notice, but it would set a bad example for your kid.

08-27-2008, 06:51 PM	#5
khorrell Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: near Washington DC Posts: 608 Reputation: (83)	Ditto that - I hate to say that I've been that parent who sends out late invitations. We have two summer birthdays at my house, and we're forever trying to squeeze birthday parties in on a weekend that both Mom and Dad are home, and there are no other family activities. Sometimes we don't realize until just before, or Mom doesn't get the invites out in a timely fashion. We know that some people can't make it, but I'd rather invite someone and have them decline than not invite a welcome guest just because we're throwing things together at the end. Heck, some of our best parties have been last minute!

09-02-2008, 06:15 AM	#10
jdp Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 227 Reputation: (29)	I think depending on the child I'd do a gift card. Someone did that for my nephew. He had more fun going to the bookstore and picking out his book, "paying for it" and cuddling that bag the whole way home....cracked me up.

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