In Debt ? Who's responsible ?

[purplefdu]

There is truly some in this world who cannot avoid debt, but by taking responsibility for your life through incurring debt you have shown your mettle. Many people would file bankruptcy and give in. By not letting society pay for your misfortunes or abusing the system you have my respect. My sister-in-law instead has abused the welfare and help system of not one, but three different states as well as her parents, incurring $5,000 in debt for my mother-in-law she couldn't afford but felt obligated to take on because of the kids.

I do not blame anyone but myself for my debt, but I do blame the system for making it easier to get school loans than repay them. No system should hand over more than anyone makes in a year in loans, especially when the family doesn't make that much. Loans are the last resort but reached all too easily.

[rorich]

Originally Posted by purplefdu

I do not blame anyone but myself for my debt, but I do blame the system for making it easier to get school loans than repay them. No system should hand over more than anyone makes in a year in loans, especially when the family doesn't make that much. Loans are the last resort but reached all too easily.

THe systems DOES make it easy with regards to school loans and perhaps mortgages, etc. So I would want to agree with you there . Like you and many others in this thread, I take responsibility for my debt. School administrators tells us how easy it is to get "help" to finance our education — something we know is important — and when wee graduate, we're faced with this burden of student loans that are quite difficult to shoulder

[moneymatters]

Rosie,

i'm sorry to hear your story, it certainly sounds like you've been going through a lot. I know it's tough - but you sound tough too, and I know you'll make it through. I'll say a prayer for you.

pete

[rorich]

Originally Posted by Miss Rosie

This is the penalty I pay for having a disease that nobody has any control over. I didn't make myself sick. My doctors can't make me well..

I really feel for you. It seems to me that you are a trooper, you have been through tough times and you have kept the faith. Please continue to believe that obstacles are created to be surmounted. Just keep on keeping on !

[Isis Uptown]

Interesting, Salon has an article up today about this very topic: http://www.salon.com/mwt/feature/200...ebt/index.html

I was responsible for my debt. I could play the blame game, but I got myself into the mess.

[pastorjezer]

I was responsible for my debt, and now I'm on the road to recovery.

[Megan]

Originally Posted by purplefdu

I do not blame anyone but myself for my debt, but I do blame the system for making it easier to get school loans than repay them. No system should hand over more than anyone makes in a year in loans, especially when the family doesn't make that much. Loans are the last resort but reached all too easily.

I think one of the big issues here is that so many students have no idea what they're getting themselves into when they agree to take on student loans. How many 17 and 18 year olds really understand what it means to be taking on such huge debt? How many of them truly understand just how long it will take them to pay it off, and how they will have to pay the student loan bills along with all the other bills.

I think it's all too common for a student to think "Ok, I'll take out these loans and get an amazing education, and I'll be making $X when I graduate, so I'll be able to pay them off in no time," forgetting that yes, they make $X, but how much of that goes to taxes and insurance, and oh yes, there's also things like food and housing and clothing and all those other things we pay for.

I have heard a number of friends say "You know, if I had understood what it meant to be taking out all these loans, I might have chosen to go to a less expensive school." But at 17 or 18, that's a difficult perspective to have.

(And Miss Rosie - I agree with everyone else. You are brave for taking on everything that you have, and I admire you for not just giving up and declaring bankruptcy. Sometimes, getting into debt is just inevitable. Sure, you could have less debt by sacrificing your health or your child's health - but anyone who even considers that to be an option really needs to rethink their priorities.)

[Miss Rosie]

Originally Posted by Isis Uptown

Interesting, Salon has an article up today about this very topic: http://www.salon.com/mwt/feature/200...ebt/index.html

I looked at that article and it said something interesting:

"Most people get into catastrophic debt for one of two reasons -- job loss and medical crises..."

I'm living with a perpetual dose of both. I'm a walking (most of the time!) medical crisis that can't get a job.

So why does the article go on to talk about frivolous consumer spending when that's not the real reason for most people's catastrophic debt? All it does is reinforce the idea that most people who are facing bankruptcy are doing so because they bought too many lattes, which means that the penalties to people like me are that much greater.

And don't be fooled. I do try to pay things off, but I've defaulted on a few things here and there. It just depends on the timing.

As far as student loans go, that's a problem I'm facing myself soon with my son. There are a few ways to work around them, at least partially, but it's doing interesting things to his education. He has some really incredible skills already, but paying for the education he'll need to use them as an adult is simply insane. Yes, there are loans, but the jobs he'll get won't be able to pay them off until he has a few years seniority under his belt, and that's just how it is now. Unless their parents have enough to cover at least 4 years of undergrad work and possibly another 4 years of graduate work, they're screwed.

I don't look at how much my debts are, because it's too demoralizing. I just send checks for whatever I can. Sometimes I pay them off, sometimes I don't, but I still send them something. I also find myself stressing out at the end of a month over a $30 miscalculation, and it horrifies me that such a small amount seems so huge.

We can go on and on about personal responsibility, but the bottom line is that we live in a country where normal events can cause catastrophic problems that may never be resolvable. People get sick. They also lose their jobs. These things are simply part of life, but in this country they can destroy your life beyond repair.

We also live in a country where medical treatment and education are considered luxury items.

There are problems with this that no amount of personal responsibility on the individual level can solve.

[Tightwad]

Me, myself and I. No extraordinary circumstances such as a previous poster. Debt out the eyeballs and very little to show for it. Awful thing was, I KNEW what I was doing. I was an educated consumer and recognized when I was being lured into buying something I didn't need or even want. But the 'poor kid' in me would start with the 'you have earned this'...'everyone else has one'....and out came the plastic.

[rolltimer]

Originally Posted by Miss Rosie

"Most people get into catastrophic debt for one of two reasons -- job loss and medical crises..."

I'm living with a perpetual dose of both. I'm a walking (most of the time!) medical crisis that can't get a job.

Miss Rosie,

There are services out there you can turn to for help with renegotiating payments, dropping interest rates, and settlements. Start with NFCC or look in your local phone book for a consumer credit counseling service. There is no shame in negotiating to pay a settlement on less than the total debt. Medical and legal bills are astronomically high. Some medical invoices are "padded" with charges for items or services you may not have even received. As for payment of an attorney's services, it is routine to charge an hourly rate for a paralegal's or an associate's time that is many multiples of what the law firm is actually paying the individual to do the work. It's very similar to a mechanic who has a standard rate for a particular service whether it takes him 45 minutes to complete or a hour and 45 minutes.

Please, for the sake of your son and your own peace of mind, don't surrender to the notion that this debt is forever. Go to the counseling service and see if you can get the debts reduced, forbearance on interest charges, and payment amounts lowered.

We in the forums are here to offer advice, suggestions, and moral support to those who need it, not to make judgment calls on those who have debt problems. God has been gracious to me in granting me excellent health and stable finances. It is only by His grace and providence that I am debt-free. I have nothing to boast of in myself. I pray for His guidance and care to touch your life, Miss Rosie, and to show Himself strong and faithful to you and your son.