Help someone pay down debt instead of giving them a gift, tacky?

[jasoos007]

I love that ...thats the best gift ..instead of a damn gift card where somebody almost always has to add something (which mean more debt on CC) to buy anything ...great to hear that idea ...I didn't knew chineses did that ..awesome ...

[hollyvangogh]

Actually our good friends gave us $200 this Christmas because they know we're struggling. It was really touching. It was more appreciated than any gift they might have given us because it was a reminder that they know what's going on in our life and really care about us. I'm sure some people would feel uncomfortable getting cash...but I think if the givers and receivers are close enough it would be appreciated.

[Will]

That sounds awesome Holly.

How did they give you the money? Some bills in a card, a discrete envelope, wrapped in ribbongs, a paypal transfer?

I'm guess I'm looking for the most tasteful way to do it.

[Myscha Theriault]

Particularly on the student loan front. If a young person values their education enough to get it at any cost, and then on top of that go into a profession that pays terribly, they have already proven that they think about things other than how they relate materially to their lives.

An extra mortgage payment for a young couple starting a family, or a college fund contribution for a new infant would also be good ideas.

[Ritter_Rote]

I would not recommend helping people get out of chronic debt. I've found with family members that the second they get out of debt (through help or windfall, rather than working at it) they simply go into greater credit card debt.

Obviously if debt was caused by education costs, medical or other accidents, that's one thing. However, those who simply have spending problems and run up huge debt and refuse to cut spending--they won't get better with your help.

Just my 2 cents based on family experience.

[jenai]

I've not gotten a real present from my parents or brother in maybe 15 or 20 years. Birthday and Christmas every year - same routine. Same bank money envelopes with "Seasons Greetings" and signed exactly the same every year. In addition, every single year dad corners me somewhere just before I leave and slips me a little extra without the fanfare. It's our little secret. The joke is that he does the same for my brother and thinks we both dont know .

It's really rather cute but they do it because there are so many with step familys and grand children. It takes the stress off them to just do it all with one trip to the bank. I have a sarky sense of humor and suggested one year that we just all sit in a circle and pass everyone the same $100 bill round, throw in a hug and a Merry Christmas and be done with it.

But my true feeling is that I think a cash gift feels like they didn't take the time or make the effort to think of an appropriate gift. If the intention is to pay a bill then a check made out to the lender in an envelope with a note would at least represent that you really truely were thinking of the person who received the envelope, and their needs.
just my thoughs...........
J~

[Rebecca]

I begged my family to give me cash instead of gifts this Christmas. They never listen to me. Instead i got a gazillion gift cards to places like the Gap, Victoria's secret.

Just what I need to help tame my impulsvie spending. Cause you just KNOW I'll go over the gift card amount.

[Basenjimom]

Cash is great, IF you know they will use it to pay down their debt and not just go out and spend it frivilously! I ask my Nephew at birthdays and Christmas if he wants a gift card or a check for his E fund, he asks for the E fund money every time! And, it makes me feel good knowing I am helping him reach his savings goals!

[Gelsomina]

I don't think it's tacky at all. I've been relieved to receive cash as a gift, especially from someone who knows I'm in debt and that I can use it to pay it down.

It depends on the recipient, though - maybe someone would think it's tacky.

Not the same thing, but for Christmas, I gave our neighborhood postal clerk - a woman who operates a small USPS storefront in our neighborhood by herself for a few hours each day - $20 cash as a thank you gift for Christmas. The nearest post office is a good 30 minutes by bus (I don't have a car). I handed her about 30 boxes from eBay sales this Christmas and she made sure that when the USPS driver picked them up they were all scanned. She provides a very valuable and necessary service for the entire neighborhood.

The eBay sales were a joint effort w/a friend - I asked her if she wanted to contribute anything towards the $20. My friend's exact words to me was "how tacky".

Next time I saw the postal clerk though, she was very grateful for it. I was glad I did it.

[Megan]

I have never found a cash gift tacky. To me it says "Here, I wanted to give you something that you want, not some book you will never read or sweater you will never wear." It lets me pick out my own gift, be that paying off a debt or buying something I've really wanted.

If you know someone is in debt and is working to pay it off, by all means, cash is a great gift. They can choose to put it towards their debt, or they can use it to buy that item that they have really wanted (or perhaps needed), but couldn't buy because they were so busy paying off their debt. Or maybe they can just treat themselves to dinner and put the rest towards the debt. The point is that it's up to the recipient.

I don't think you can specify where the money goes, especially if you want it to go towards debt. I have received money as gifts where the giver has said "Use this to treat yourself, don't pay bills with it." And well, I end up putting it into my account from which I treat myself and pay bills, so it's possible it goes to both.

Gift cards can be nice too, if you can get one for a store you know the person likes. I am a fan of the higher end organic grocery store in my neighborhood, but it's often hard to justify shopping there when I can get the stuff I need at a lower price. I recently received a gift to that store, and it was wonderful. It bought some specialty groceries, and was really a treat for me, but it also meant that I spent less of my cash out of my grocery budget for that month.