Help someone pay down debt instead of giving them a gift, tacky?

Will · 12-17-2007, 06:02 PM

If you are really close to a relative or a friend, and you know they are trapped under a mountain of debt, would it be ok to give them cash in lieu of gifts for Christmas?

Cash sounds tacky, I know. But isn't it better than gift cards? Gift cards forces people to buy more things, thus reinforcing the very behavior that gets most people in debt in the first place.

If you think cash is ok, what is a good way to present this "gift"? Should I write a letter telling them why they are getting cash, or would it be less awkward if I just stuffed it in an envelope and send it to them?

Greg · 12-17-2007, 06:25 PM

I always liked the chinese tradition of putting cold hard cash in red envelopes. Very practical and I still feel the love as the recipient.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_packet

You can get red envelopes from Yahoo shopping (about $3 for 30) or from your local bank in chinatown.

Will · 12-17-2007, 06:56 PM

I love red envelopes.

Do you think that will work with non-Chinese friends and relatives? What's a good way to explain it to them?

Sarah Winfrey · 12-18-2007, 11:14 AM

Particularly from those people who usually give the awful presents. We all have at least one of those.

I've thought about asking for that, but I'm afraid people wouldn't believe me and would think, "She really just wants cash and isn't willing to say that." NO! I want my school loans to be GONE!

Lynn · 12-18-2007, 12:46 PM

you're not supposed to give out red envelopes til you're married... circle of life thing. let's make Wise Bread envelopes for people to give away as gifts instead!!!

Greg · 12-18-2007, 02:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lynn

you're not supposed to give out red envelopes til you're married... circle of life thing.

Oh really? I did not know that. I just thought my single relatives were cheapskates.

Julie Rains · 12-18-2007, 02:51 PM

The Red Envelope reminds me of www.redenvelope.com (luxury gifts). Speaking of cultural differences, my Yankee friends gave me cash when I got married but that is something just not done by native southerners.

Cash is fine as a gift but you don't need (shouldn't need) to specify where it should go, usually anyway. Hmmm...I guess it would not be too unreasonable to give a young person money just starting out and state the purpose of paying off debt (which I am likely to do for a niece of mine next year).

Greg · 12-18-2007, 03:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Julie Rains

Speaking of cultural differences, my Yankee friends gave me cash when I got married but that is something just not done by native southerners.

How did getting cash make you feel? Did it feel tasteless or practical?

There must be a middle ground between cold hard cash and gift certs. Maybe one could buy a CD (the certificate of deposit, not the compact disc) for someone? It's kind of like a mini-trust.... And it's probably better than cash since it's so easy to just put that cash in your wallet and spend it.

Julie Rains · 12-18-2007, 05:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Greg

How did getting cash make you feel? Did it feel tasteless or practical?

There must be a middle ground between cold hard cash and gift certs. Maybe one could buy a CD (the certificate of deposit, not the compact disc) for someone? It's kind of like a mini-trust.... And it's probably better than cash since it's so easy to just put that cash in your wallet and spend it.

I was fine with receiving cash -- I guess because I learned that it was a custom and not a personal statement on my financial situation and perceived neediness. Actually I had considered buying stock for my nieces and nephews when they were younger but it involved getting SSNs and so I never did. I have given checks for high school graduations, to help out with college expenses -- which is appreciated by kids and their parents.

Will · 12-18-2007, 05:45 PM

Quote:

but I'm afraid people wouldn't believe me

That's always a concern. Too bad there isn't a central service that will allow you to pay off other people's bills.

Quote:

let's make Wise Bread envelopes for people to give away as gifts instead!!!

I wonder if we can start a meme to make this practice sound cool and hip.

A long time ago, I thought of starting a website that would allow people to share their birthday and holiday wishlists with their friends. I told people this idea and they all thought it sounded tasteless and tacky. And now Amazon does it!

Quote:

which I am likely to do for a niece of mine next year

Would you gently nudge her to spend the money on bills? Of course, if she is anything like you, she'll probably use that money responsibly.

12-17-2007, 06:02 PM	#1
Will Administrator Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 381 Thanks: 2 Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts Reputation: (23)	Help someone pay down debt instead of giving them a gift, tacky? If you are really close to a relative or a friend, and you know they are trapped under a mountain of debt, would it be ok to give them cash in lieu of gifts for Christmas? Cash sounds tacky, I know. But isn't it better than gift cards? Gift cards forces people to buy more things, thus reinforcing the very behavior that gets most people in debt in the first place. If you think cash is ok, what is a good way to present this "gift"? Should I write a letter telling them why they are getting cash, or would it be less awkward if I just stuffed it in an envelope and send it to them?

12-18-2007, 11:14 AM	#4
Sarah Winfrey Wise Bread Blogger Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 11 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Reputation: (20)	I would LOVE it! Particularly from those people who usually give the awful presents. We all have at least one of those. I've thought about asking for that, but I'm afraid people wouldn't believe me and would think, "She really just wants cash and isn't willing to say that." NO! I want my school loans to be GONE!

12-18-2007, 12:46 PM	#5
Lynn Administrator Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 47 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Reputation: (15)	only if you're married you're not supposed to give out red envelopes til you're married... circle of life thing. let's make Wise Bread envelopes for people to give away as gifts instead!!!

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12-17-2007, 06:25 PM	#2
Greg Administrator Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Sunny Southern California Posts: 242 Thanks: 21 Thanked 3 Times in 1 Post Reputation: (53)	I always liked the chinese tradition of putting cold hard cash in red envelopes. Very practical and I still feel the love as the recipient. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_packet You can get red envelopes from Yahoo shopping (about $3 for 30) or from your local bank in chinatown.

12-17-2007, 06:56 PM	#3
Will Administrator Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 381 Thanks: 2 Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts Reputation: (23)	I love red envelopes. Do you think that will work with non-Chinese friends and relatives? What's a good way to explain it to them?

12-18-2007, 02:51 PM	#7
Julie Rains Wise Bread Blogger Join Date: May 2007 Location: North Carolina Posts: 399 Thanks: 1 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Reputation: (189)	The Red Envelope reminds me of www.redenvelope.com (luxury gifts). Speaking of cultural differences, my Yankee friends gave me cash when I got married but that is something just not done by native southerners. Cash is fine as a gift but you don't need (shouldn't need) to specify where it should go, usually anyway. Hmmm...I guess it would not be too unreasonable to give a young person money just starting out and state the purpose of paying off debt (which I am likely to do for a niece of mine next year).