If dimonds are evil, what's a good alternative?

[soupkitchen96]

A lot of pf blogs say diamonds are a bad idea. They are obtained through violence, they have low intrinsic value, etc.

But what is a good alternative? Is there another socially responsible precious metal a guy should buy that also has better investment value? What do the ladies prefer?

[imagine girl]

Why does something so evil look so nice?

[Michelle Dawn]

we opted not to get an engagement ring to save money. Very romantic I know... Not only are they socially irresponsible like you mentioned SK, but they lose most of their value as soon as you put it on your finger. Have you ever tried to resell a diamond ring?

When we have some more money I'd like to buy a quality sapphire solitaire with a white gold band to match my wedding band. The sapphire is my husband's birthstone and I think this would be a nice idea.

Also, If you really want a diamond think about buying Canadian diamonds!

[rodaniel]

It's a good question. After seeing "Blood Diamond," you sure have to think twice about the "girl's best friend." But then by the same token, are there any other gemstones - or precious metals for that matter - that don't come to us by similar means? That is, are third world people exploited (and treated as utterly disposable) for the sake of gold, silver, platinum, etc. like they are for diamonds?

[Emily]

Acceptable substitutes should be something both you and your fiancee agree on. Outside of making sure the stone is conflict-free, you must deal with personal preference. (I love the way some stones look until they're against my skin. Then? eew.)

Depending on your budget, you can start in pawnshops and work your way up to estate auctions and heirloom jewelry from antique dealers.

[Philip Brewer]

The original purpose of an engagement gift was to serve as a consolation prize for the bride if the husband-to-be called off the engagement. (It made it expensive for a man to call off a wedding if a more attractive or richer woman came along.) It is still the case that the woman gets to keep the engagement ring if the husband calls off the wedding, but must return it if she calls it off.

For that purpose, anything of value will do, including season tickets to a sporting event, cattle, or a fractional share of a jet plane.

The modern purpose of a diamond engagement ring was to signal less-affluent males, "Don't bother with this one. Even if you weren't too late, you're too poor to even be in the running."

If that's your goal, any expensive stone could do the trick. The advantage of diamonds was that you could (to a rough approximation) estimate the value of a diamond pretty easily--if it was bigger than the one you could afford, you couldn't afford it. (And if it was clear and had fire, that just put it even further out of your reach.)

If your goal is to symbolize your commitment, pretty much anything will do, if you agree that it means what you want it to mean.

[rollo]

A lot of pf blogs say diamonds are a bad idea. [...] But what is a good alternative?

I know it's not exactly a precious metal... but what about art? I mean, if your objective is to find something to give as an engagement present instead of a diamond. If you can find, say, a painting that you and your fiancée both like, it sounds like the perfect solution to me. And if you choose wisely, the painting might well increase in value over time as well.

[amandajane]

I'd agree with art too, it's a safe investment and it's something that everyone in the home can look at without squinting!

My engagement ring was very inexpensive, amethyst and a few tiny tiny diamonds. It's still got huge value to me, because of what it meant. I'd be scared to wear anything expensive in case I lost it too.

[VaranusK]

I guess any scarce item somewhere causes wars, pain and death, from gold to water or land. And, of course, oil.
I'm not planning to buy a diamond ring just because I think you don't need something extremely expensive to show your love. Better spread its cost on hundreds of flowers over the years, weekend trips, small details...

[rodaniel]

Originally Posted by cmartinrg

I'm not planning to buy a diamond ring just because I think you don't need something extremely expensive to show your love. Better spread its cost on hundreds of flowers over the years, weekend trips, small details...

I completely agree with that sentiment, but...

I suspect that most women are (just like us guys) prone to fall prey to peer pressure. That is, her friends are expecting for you to give her "the rock." Y'know, it can be very hard to not subscribe to the norm. It doesn't take much imagination to see that she could easily feel left out if you opt to go a more fiscally-sensible route - even if it is a mutual decision.

If your girlfriend/fiance/wife is agreeable to you not buying her expensive jewelry as an engagement and/or wedding gift, that's great! She's the rare gem, indeed! Hang on to her with both hands, ya lucky dog!