Managing Money After Divorce

[FinanciallySMART]

After separating from her husband last year, Marilyn has been struggling to pay her bills on time and to keep track of her expenses. During the 21 years she was married, her accountant husband had taken care of all their financial transactions. “I didn’t understand the basics of managing our money,” Marilyn reveals, “I had never even read our bank statement.”
The dissolution of a marriage usually brings upheaval for the former partners, their family members and friends. While attention is given to the emotional and mental effects of divorce, the monetary challenges cannot be ignored as they can leave the family finances in serious disarray

[trustno1]

Just wanted to offer my services as an "expert witness", if you need one to make your case, lol. I could be the "Poster Boy" for this thread, for sure!

14 years ago I filed for divorce from an "ex" who had a difficult time grasping the concept of giving up "dating" after you get married, lol. I was a corporate branch manager, six figure income, BMW, house, yakity yak yak, with perfect credit. Six months after the divorce, I was an unemployed, broke, "shared custody"father of a two-year old daughter, with a $1400/mo support payment driving my 10 year old van downtown to file bankruptcy.

Yeah, it was definately a "challenge", lol. The good news is, well, is, well ok...there really was not any "good'' news...hehehe.
But hey, there certainly were a wealth of lessons learned...(hence, my forum "user name" was a "no-brainer") lol

I am not much for "ruminating" about the past, but I am l a believer in learning from the experience. I can say that (particularly for those who take a "passive" role) it is a mistake to relinquish an active role in your financial future.

I understand the credibility of one partner doing the due diligence side of the financial maintenance (paying bills, etc), but the other partner should maintain an active and informed role in every area. Not as an "insurance" policy against the possibility of divorce, or death of a partner, but to continue to function effectively with a positive self-esteem sustained by the confidence financial knowledge affords.

BTW, my bankruptcy 10 yr anniversary is Thursday! You can survive, it just takes some patience and determination.
I am back where I was 10 yrs ago...secure and happy(er) again!

never give up, never grow up!!!

[trustno1]

Oops, just noticed that my "years" stated in my post do not exactly "match up". I guess I filed bankruptcy a couple years after the divorce. Ah, who cares, it is all a fuzzy historic nightmare that is over now.

and HE all lived happily ever after...the end.

[dreamsandshadows]

My x-husband who I trusted completely with all our finances, (as well as our vows) left me for a co-worker and left me in a terrible financial state. I was one of the last stay at home wives, did not have any clue about money, balancing a checkbook etc. I did not get alimony as my child chose to live with him and I did not pay child support.
I was able to find a good job that paid a bit more than minimum but I was able to eke out a living. My advice would be to have your own income, both people should know what is going on with finances. I have no retirement as all my money goes to making a living. I did re-marry, but together we earn very little. We both manage the money.

[berna]

I have a favorite quote: With 60% of divorce rates, it means a greater number of separate dwellings to furnish each year...

One of the most nerve-wracking effects of divorce is the financial problem. If you're going to pay the spousal or child support, you'll surely hit the rocks. The spouse who is responsible for all the payments will definitely suffer from credit crunch. Unfortunately, I've got a couple of friends who are struggling from the spoils of divorce.

If you are used to a lavish lifestyle, then the payments you are obliged to pay could lessen the budget to meet those caprices. First and foremost, learn how to budget. Make sure your money will be spent for important things. Try to sort your priorities, and refrain from buying things that are not that necessary.

Next, you should look for ways to increase your income or savings for the future. the Internet is teeming with thousands of opportunities for you to harness your skills and creativity. There are numerous ways in getting extra income, and it will be paid off with hard work.

[trustno1]

My suggestion for either "side" of a divorce is that the quicker you accept and focus on "reality", the quicker you will "recover", both emotionally and financially. Life is not fair. Divorce is not fair. Get used to it. There is no "winner", only two losers trying to start over, hopefully doing whatever is necessary to minimize the damage to any unfortunate kids (if any) involved in the process.