Personal finance privacy - when relatives pry too much

[hollyvangogh]

Money was never something my family talked about very much in my family...so perhaps my advice should be taken with a grain of salt. However, I think two courses of action come to mind. The first would be to ask the same questions back. However I think it would be better (and much kinder) to take your relative aside and honestly say that you don't like it when they ask those kind of questions. Tell them you appreciate that they're interested in you and what's going on in your life. You're doing well. Thank them for their concern and let them know that if there's something worth telling, you'll be sure to tell it yourself.

[soupkitchen96]

Originally Posted by MrsMicah

It's scary, my mom called all my relatives and told them about my blog.

I would be mortified if that happens to me. Do you find yourself censoring your writing on the blog?

Originally Posted by eatmyace007

i actually have no problem talking about anything money related with family, if they ask. i will never broach the topic. but maybe it is the younger generation, we use a more "group think" mentality to life (home purchases, etc)

That sounds very interesting. Can you elaborate on that a bit more? What is a "group think" approach to home purchase? Do you mean that more people share financial responsibilities in the younger generation?

Originally Posted by Julie Rains

I know people who brag may think that I just feel uncomfortable about a topic, but there are many times I just don't want to be part of the bragging. If I sense that someone is set in their perspective and not interested in dialogue, I just drop the subject. Otherwise, I love learning about what people are doing in their careers, volunteer activities, leisure, investments, etc.

I agree Julie. Sharing and learning is great when it is voluntary. I love learning about what is going on in people's lives because I care about them. But it baffles me when people insists on badgering you for info even when you've made it clear that you are not interested in sharing.

The first would be to ask the same questions back.

*lol* Very sneaky. I think that might work in some situations. But some people I know are doing really well in life, so asking those questions will just set them off into a frenzy of how great they are doing. After they're done, they'll still turn to me and ask "so how are YOU doing? As good as me?"

[Julie Rains]

I was curious about the group think also; possibly b/c I am not in the sharing generation. I just read an article about Beacon, which Will referenced in his Google Reader post. The idea of sharing info on internet browsing, purchases, etc. seems scary -- though not necessarily what group think is about but rather about lots of discussion about how decisions are made, why they are made, etc.

Anyway, am saving the articles for my next book club meeting on 1984.

[MrsMicah]

Originally Posted by soupkitchen96

I would be mortified if that happens to me. Do you find yourself censoring your writing on the blog?

A little, but not much. At first I was rather upset (at least I kept it out of the Christmas letter...that was close!). And, I mean, I can't really talk about my grandmother's unconventional and frustration methods of gifting when I was a kid...or outright criticize a family member (unless it's done very nicely) but those probably aren't productive blogging topics anyway. So far I haven't found myself censoring anything that I really should say.