Let me preface this by saying that I am fortunate to have as friends individuals that I worked both with and for--and who, over the years, also worked for me. Some I've known over two decades.
In addition, I have a handful of close friends who I met through work and who I became friends with during the time we worked together and in some cases, after we left a company where we were both employed.
Getting along in the workplace is important, but I don't know how realistic or wise it is, to have "friends" (in the truest sense of the word as opposed to the "friends of the road/journey" that are typically what might be referred to in this article about office relationships)in a workplace.
It can get very tricky because one has expectations of behavior from those we label "friends" that co-workers cannot and will not always honor. Which can cause a lot of pain and disappointment. On both sides.
Being friendly and being friends. Two different things. Professional relationships need to be treated as such.
Some people do truly bond through work, but there can be professional obstacles, which is why so many folks really don't expand their friendships until one or both leaves a company.
I've made the mistake of thinking people were friends at work only to be stabbed in the back by their behavior, which wouldn't have been OK even if we weren't friends, but was even more problematic because it came from people who I thought were friends.
I've also been used by others whose version of friendship was truly one-sided in that they just wanted something from me. Something they covered up pretty well in the process.
There's just too much opportunity for manipulation and misuse, given the nature of professional relationships.
There are just too many things in a workplace that can get in the middle of a real friendship (again, not a general camaraderie and team thing). You see it all the time. Particularly when one person is promoted.
I've seen people who had revealed plenty in their friendships suddenly find all that held against them when their "friend" was promoted.
You have to tread carefully and make a real distinction between professional relationships, etc. and personal relationships. Some lines need to be drawn, if only to protect yourself.
At work, what really matters is not all the team-building crap, or being friends, but showing respect for all others and doing the work you were hired to do without hurting others (not always possible, to the best of your ability.
Yea, it's nice to meet up with folks who may share values, interests and activities. But you still have to realize that you're at work and that a co-worker can and will put their interests above yours. Which obviates a true friendship from the get go.
Loyalty and cooperation have to be earned through professional behavior, not personal affinities.
In fact, the workplace might be better for everyone if people really kept a distance.
Right now, the workplace is awful for many because cliques exist and some people are treated better simply because a boss or colleagues are more interested in the "likeability" of someone than their actual competence or contribution.
That goes on and makes work very difficult for a lot of very professional workers who are neither social nor brown-nosers nor networkers.
It should be about DOING the job, now how likeable you are or how funny or whatever. It's about your job performance. Something companies lose sight of.
So you really should address the downsides of "friendships" at work, cause there are plenty including the biases I've mentioned above.
It's not all a "good thing."
