What do you get if you cross a bunch of hungry people with an ineffective ordering system? You get the riot that almost happened at my local Papa Murphy’s on Friday. And if they don’t do something about it, blood will be shed next time…I’m sure of it.

I’ve always had issues with Papa Murphy’s. My biggest gripe is cost; they don’t have the same overheads as any other pizza chain and yet the pizzas cost the same, if not more. A large specialty pizza from Pizza Hut, in my area, is $3 cheaper than the same one at Papa Murphy’s. But they have won Pizza Chain of the year for the last 5 years, so they’re clearly doing something right…somewhere.

However, one thing they’ve got dead wrong, at least at my local store, is the ordering system. Or should that be ordering nightmare?

It works something like this –

1. Call ahead and order your pizza.
2. Turn up 20 minutes later and pay.
3. Be told “that’ll be just a few minutes.”
4. Wait a few minutes.
5. Watch some guy come into the store and order.
6. Wait a few more minutes.
7. Watch more people come in with phone orders.
8. Watch them pay.
9. Watch the guy who just came in get his pizza.
10. Scratch your head and wonder why.
11. Wait a few more minutes.
12. Watch some lady wander into the store and place an order.
13. Watch more people come in with phone orders.
14. Try not to laugh at them.
15. Wait a few more minutes.
16. Watch lady who just came in get her pizza.
17. Start getting really annoyed.
18. Watch other people with phone orders get annoyed.
19. Repeat steps 5 though 18 for the next HOUR.
20. Form a protest gang with fellow hungry, pissed off phone order customers.
21. Go to counter, see masses of tickets in no particular order.
22. Watch young store clerk give you bewildered ‘help me’ look.
23. Organize a committee.
24. Sort through tickets, find phone orders.
25. Get phone orders made, hoping there is no spit in the pizzas.
26. Receive, as a way of saying sorry for the long wait, NOTHING extra in return.
27. Leave store with pizza, grumpy.
28. Return home to hungry, annoyed family.
29. Recount steps 1 through 27 while pizza cooks using your own electricity.
30. Eat pizza begrudgingly.

pizza

Pizza worth waiting for? Not really.

Now, I know a thing or two about advertising. I also know that more people will recount a bad customer experience than a good one. What surprised me most, other than the shambolic way of making pizzas in no discernable order, was the complete ignorance of the staff that day.

It was obvious to anyone in the store that there was a long line of people getting very annoyed. It was also obvious, due to the hints and complaints we dropped throughout the process, that nothing was being done.

Sure, they were busy. It was a Friday night after all. But most other places manage to process orders in the order in which they receive them…I believe that’s why it’s actually call an order. And having waited a total of 80 minutes for a pizza, to be given nothing in return for my time and trouble was just as confusing.

Papa Murphy’s, your pizzas are tasty. But your ordering system needs work. A lot of work. And I’m afraid I won’t be going back for a long, long time; even longer than I waited for that pepperoni pizza last Friday night.