So you bought an HD DVD player. Now what?

by Paul Michael on 19 February 2008 10 comments
Photo: Prakhar

It’s gone. HD DVD lost the war, Blu-Ray is the winner. Toshiba has admitted defeat and will discontinue all of its HD DVD products. No more players, no more recorders, no more discs, no more Xbox 360 players, it’s all dead in the water. And that leaves you HD DVD owners up a certain creek without a paddle. But, it’s not all doom and gloom.

For a start, if you do have an HD DVD player, you’re about to get your hands on some seriously cheap movies; expect markdowns of 75% or more. And if you don’t own an HD DVD player yet, would you be so stupid as to buy one now? Well, why not?

Sure, the future is dead. But the movies you can get right now, coupled with the silly price of the players, means that you can quickly build a library of your favorite movies in the highest quality at a fraction of the price of Blu-Ray, or even regular DVD. Maybe not something for the living room, but if you’ve got a den it beats the crappy old VHS player that chews up your tapes and spits them back at you with glee.

If all that is of no comfort, which to be honest it probably isn’t, here’s a list I’ve put together of things you could do with your player and discs.

1: One million dollars! Create a powerful “laser” weapon.
Kipkay from Metacafe shows you how to turn an old, defunct laser device into a Maglite laser weapon. World domination beckons.

2: Impress friends with really low IQs.
Show them the fantastic set-up you have in your living room, and the amazing quality it produces. If one of them utters anything like “Duh, isn’t that like that crappy HD DVD thing” then eject them from the room and never invite them back.

3: A Gangster’s paradise.
Concrete is expensive. Simply tie an HD DVD player to the feet of a lightweight stooge (informant) and send him to sleep with the fishes.

4: Cheap jewelry.
Ladies (or pirates). Two HD DVDs dangling from your ear lobes makes an impressive, cheap statement about your fashion sense.

ARTICLE CONTINUES BELOW

5: Prop up your kids.
An HD DVD player gives several inches of extra height to kids having trouble reaching the table. Prop it under them at mealtimes. Also, they can stand on it to reach things they’re not supposed to reach but really want to.

6: Party hearty Marty. Make a disco ball.
This one uses old CDs , but it’s the same principle. All you need is a styrofoam ball, a bottle of glue and a some flared leopardskin pants.


7: Tom Cruise – gain extra height on the red carpet.

Tie an HD DVD player to each foot and tower over Katie Holmes and those tall people who make fun of Scientology.

8: Re-gift it.
Ok, so technically it has to be a gift before it can be re-gifted, but now we’re splitting hairs. Just box it up and give it to someone as a deliciously nasty present. Watch them fake a smile and say something like “wow…that’s…great. Really…great.”

9: Put it on eBay.
You may be able to make some of your money back. Not a lot, but it’s better than nothing.

10: Keep it for 50 years.
In 2058 it will be a collector’s item and make you rich. Most of them will have been junked long ago.

0
No votes yet
Your rating: None
ShareThis

comments

10 discussions

Add New Comment

CAPTCHA
This test helps prevent automated spam submissions.
Guest's picture
Jesse

It really reminds me of the old Beta/VHS fight. It just shows it pays to wait until its all been fought out :)

Guest's picture
Dennis

I was hopping the fight would continue and it would force them into a price war. Guess thats not going to happen.

Guest's picture

I dunno maybe you could watch regular DVDs on it???

Seriously what is up with this HD-DVD hate? Just because HD-DVD isn't going to exist any more doesn't mean you still can't watch movies on it or any HD-DVD disks on it. They are still a great quality player - HD or regular DVD.

I love mine - and the fact that I'll be able to pick up cheap high definition disks in the next few months makes me giggle with glee.

I was going to get a PS3 in the future so no loss for me. Stop with the relentless whining about this issue.

Xin Lu's picture
Xin Lu

hmm yeah mine plays regular dvds so it's not a total loss.  my hubby wants a ps3 now...siiiigh...

Guest's picture
Looby

I'm just impressed my dad stayed out of this long enough for one technology to emerge. He usually hops on every band wagon which is why his den has a minidisc player and a laser disc player!

Guest's picture
Dar

My dad bought a Sony Beta VCR when they came out in the early 80s. Turned out he backed the wrong dog in that fight!

Looks like Sony won this battle though. I've been on the sidelines--although I was very tempted by the price drop of the Toshiba HD-DVD players before Christmas--waiting for a clear winner to develop. I'm just grateful it's over!

Guest's picture

I'm actually surprised Sony won this one. I guess the Playstation trumped the Xbox. I figured the stupid name would disqualify it - I have a hard time uttering the phrase, "Hey, pick me up a Blu-Ray of Atonement while you're out!"

Guest's picture
Pete

although I don't think Xbox really lost to playstation because by not including the hd-dvd in the console itself, they didn't doom themselves if HD-DVD lost the format war (as it did). Xbox has said all along that they're looking to digital online delivery of content as the next big thing for HD.

Guest's picture
Wally

Sell it quickly!

Guest's picture
Josh

While I applaud the creativity of suggestions... #1 is highly irresponsible! It would take less the a second of accidental reflected exposure for that power of laser to permanently blind someone. Any high-gloss surface makes this a recipe for permanent disaster and tragic injury. Please DO NOT try this at home!!! EVER! Seriously, this is riskier then making pipe bombs and should not be tried. While it may seem cool to make your own "light saber" this is not worth the risk. Keep safe!