rules

The Fine Art of Negotiating With Your Financial Institution

Annie Mueller — Wed, 06 Jun 2018 08:00:22 +0000

We recently sold our house to buyers who were eager to move in. No problem; we scheduled a quick closing date and began making arrangements. We called the bank to request a payoff statement, something that's usually accomplished in a matter of minutes.

"Sure," they said. "It will be there in three days."

That seemed a little weird to us, but we had four days until the closing. We called the next day and were told it would be there in 24 hours. "Even better," we thought. We were so naive.

The night before the closing was scheduled, the title company let us know they still hadn't received the payoff statement. By this time, the bank's service center was closed. The next morning — the day of the closing — we were on the phone once again.

"It's in the queue," they said this time. "It will be sent soon, but it's impossible to know when, exactly."

The bank rep told us there was no possible way to send the statement immediately. We were polite but insistent. Finally, after over 30 minutes of being told it was impossible, they transferred us to a manager.

"What do you need? Your payoff statement? Sent immediately?" she asked. "Sure, no problem. I can do that right away."

The title company had the statement in less than five minutes.

Why we're bad at negotiating

I share this little story with you because people are often intimidated by financial institutions. There's complicated terminology — legalese, corporate jargon, and specific "money terms" that sound like you need a doctorate to understand them. Plus, people often feel out of the loop when it comes to particular money matters, which can lead to hesitation and uncertainty. If you're not sure of your own financial footing, how are you supposed negotiate with the pros?

But it's important that you learn. If you don't negotiate, chances are every agreement you enter with a financial institution will favor that institution far more than it favors you. Insecurity about your poor credit, past financial mistakes, or a current bad hair day can make you feel like you don't have the right to ask questions or stand up for yourself.

The consequences of not negotiating can be dire. In our little story, if we hadn't pushed until we got what we wanted, we might have lost the sale of our house. So let's learn how to negotiate. (See also: 8 Negotiating Skills Everyone Should Master)

Get to the right person

Negotiating with a financial institution is a lot different from negotiating with an individual — like, say, your landlord. Individuals make decisions based on many factors. They could be influenced by something as simple as how good — or bad — of a mood they're in. It all comes down to the person.

Institutions operate, presumably, on a set of rules. The individuals within the institution are motivated to adhere to the rules because it's safer for them. The less secure they are in their role, the less willing (and sometimes able) they are to negotiate.

The workaround is to go as far up the chain of authority as you can when negotiating. Generally, the more authority an individual has within a business, the more job security they have and more freedom to make decisions. You want to work with someone who doesn't feel threatened by your request. If you feel that the person you're working with is unable or unwilling to meet your terms, keep asking for the next person up the ladder.

Find the real rules

There are rules, and then there are the real rules.

Generally, the first people you talk to are working with the rules. There are lots of these rules, and most of them sound like "No." They are designed to protect the institution from loss. They are written into the scripts used to train the people who work there.

To negotiate effectively, you'll need to keep asking questions until you push past the script and find the real rules. For example, you might be told, "There's no way we can offer that kind of discount to you; it's against our policy." This is your cue to ask for a supervisor; someone who can override the policy.

When you get to that someone, you find out the real rules, which might be quite different: "Well, we don't usually offer discounts like that. The only way I could do that is if you sign a two-year contract with us." Now you know the real rule, which is, "Only offer deep discounts to get long-term contracts."

Once you know the real rules, you can use them in your negotiating: "I understand you need to get a long-term agreement in order to give me the discount I want. But that's a big commitment for me. I'm interested, but I'll need a lower interest rate in addition to the discount." (See also: 10 Negotiation Mistakes That Will Destroy Your Deal)

Be excruciatingly courteous

Bad manners really won't get you very far. Good manners alone will not win your negotiation, of course. But they can open the door. They can help you get to the right person. They can help you extend the conversation so you're able to see your options.

Good manners can also keep you from having to start the negotiation process over again. If you are kind and courteous when you speak with someone, they're more likely to do what they can to help you. They may not be the person with the authority to make the ultimate decision, but all help is valuable.

Being courteous can get you a direct phone number to call rather than the catchall service line, information on general policies that will help you negotiate better, and notes left in your account which get passed up the line with you. These little things will all nudge you forward toward your goal.

Prepare to repeat yourself

You will have to repeat yourself. Over, and over, and over.

Really, negotiating with a financial institution is a test of patience and how many times you can say the same exact thing without snapping. Parents of young children have a real advantage here.

If you want to talk to a person with more authority, you may have to ask five times. That's because of the value at stake in any individual's time. Entry-level people get paid less. Their job is to maximize the gain for the institution and minimize the (potential) loss. It's well worth it for an hourly worker to sit on the phone with you all day long if they can get you to agree to their preferred terms by the end of the call.

And most people will give up — either on getting to the right person, or on getting to an agreement that benefits them — far too soon. Be clear about what you're asking, and be prepared to ask for it over and over.

Remember that you're in charge

There are many scenarios that can involve a negotiation. Maybe you need a business loan, or you're looking for a better interest rate on an existing one. Maybe you're looking to buy or sell a property. Maybe you need to negotiate payment or contract terms. In all of these cases, the institution will make more money by doing business with you than by refusing you. Some interest is better than no interest; any payment is better than no payment. You hold the power here, even if you feel like you are in the subordinate position.

If they won't meet your terms, go elsewhere. Be prepared to do so, rather than just making empty threats. Knowing that you have options is important. When you know you have other avenues, you can feel more confident. And that will make you a better negotiator.

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This article is from Annie Mueller of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

How to Claim Social Security Benefits While Living Abroad

Emily Guy Birken — Wed, 24 Jan 2018 09:30:08 +0000

The benefits of being an American do not stop at the border, which is excellent news for retirees looking to live abroad. In particular, expatriates are free to collect their Social Security benefits while living abroad in an adopted country. (See also: 13 Financial Steps to Take Before Retiring Abroad)

While Uncle Sam will forward your Social Security benefit checks to whatever sunny beach on a foreign shore that you choose to retire to, it is important for you to understand just what you'll have to do to make sure the claiming process goes smoothly. Here's everything you need to know about claiming your Social Security benefits while living the retired life abroad.

You can't take Medicare with you

Let's start with the bad news: Medicare does not pay for any care you receive abroad. That's because Medicare coverage is specific to American medical providers and does not cover service outside of the United States.

Many retirees living abroad may still choose to enroll in Medicare so that they can return to America in case of a serious medical issue. There are severe financial penalties for enrolling in Medicare after the initial enrollment period (the three months before, the month of, and the three months after you turn 65), which means it may be worth your while to enroll in Medicare if there is any possibility you will return to the U.S.

That being said, it's quite possible that you will be eligible for low-cost, high-quality health care coverage in your adopted home. Many countries extend their health care services to foreign residents, and one of the potential benefits of retiring abroad is the possibility of cheaper and better health care. (See also: 4 Affordable Retirement Spots With World-Class Health Care)

But Social Security benefits are pretty portable

All Social Security recipients are now required to accept their benefits electronically, which is quite a boon to retirees living abroad. This means you can either have your benefits directly deposited into a foreign bank account based in your new home, or you can have the money deposited into an American bank account that you have maintained while abroad.

Some countries require foreign residents to open a local bank account and have a regular direct deposit into that account. Social Security benefits offer an ideal method for fulfilling this obligation.

If you live in a country without such a requirement, you may choose to simply maintain your U.S. based bank, in part because many retirement destinations are all about paying in cash. Everyone from utility providers to grocers to dentists only accept cash, which makes maintaining your home bank much simpler. As long as you can withdraw funds from an ATM or banking office in your new home, there's no need to set up a new bank account or have your Social Security benefits routed elsewhere.

Restrictions apply to certain countries

There are two countries in the world that Uncle Sam will not send your Social Security benefits to: North Korea and Cuba. The United States Department of the Treasury has imposed sanctions on these countries which makes it impossible for American expats to receive their benefits while living there. The Social Security Administration will withhold your benefits payments while you are living in either of these two countries, but you can access your withheld money as soon as you move to a country where the U.S. will send payments.

You will also generally not be able to access your Social Security benefits while living in Azerbaijan, Belarus, Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan, Moldova, Tajikistan, Turkmenistan, Ukraine, and Uzbekistan. The Social Security Administration may be able to make exceptions for certain eligible beneficiaries who make their homes in these countries (such as appearing in person at a U.S. Embassy or U.S. Consulate every six months).

Rules are different if you're not a U.S. citizen

American citizens are always eligible to receive their Social Security benefits while living abroad. However, non-U.S. citizens who are eligible to receive Social Security benefits (because they paid into the system or are dependents of someone who paid into the system) have a limit to the amount of time they may receive their benefits while away from American soil. Noncitizens will receive their benefits for six months while living abroad, after which point the Social Security Administration will stop payments. Payments will be reinstated after the noncitizen has returned to the U.S. and stayed there for a full calendar month.

There are some exceptions to these rules, which is why the Social Security Administration has created a Payments Abroad Screening Tool to help you figure out if you will continue to receive your Social Security benefits while living abroad.

Don't forget about the tax man

Just because you're living abroad doesn't mean you can forget about paying the tax man. This is especially important for retirees who are receiving Social Security benefits, since your benefits can be garnished to pay taxes you owe. American expatriates need to understand their tax requirements so they don't accidentally cause themselves a major financial problem.

To start, in addition to the 1040 form that every American has to fill out each year, expats living abroad may also need to complete Form 2555 to declare foreign earned income (income you receive from a job), Form 1116 to declare a foreign tax credit, and Form 8938 to declare specified foreign financial assets (such as assets you hold in foreign bank accounts, brokerage accounts, mutual funds, and unit trusts).

The reporting threshold to the IRS for specified foreign financial assets is $200,000 for single filers living abroad, and $400,000 for married couples. However, you are also required to report foreign assets greater than $10,000 to the Department of the Treasury, using FinCEN Form 114, Report of Foreign Bank and Financial Accounts (FBAR). Failure to file with the Department of the Treasury can result in stiff penalties of up to 50 percent of the balance of the account, and possible criminal charges.

You may also owe taxes to your adopted country, so be sure to understand the tax laws of your new home and file taxes accordingly. (See also: 9 Things to Know Before Retiring Abroad)

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This article is from Emily Guy Birken of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

Prepaid Cards About to Get Safer and Better

Philip Brewer — Thu, 20 Oct 2016 10:30:08 +0000

If you have a bank account with a debit card, your money is pretty safe. If your card is lost or stolen, you can cancel it and get a replacement. As long as you check your statement and report fraudulent charges, you can get the money back.

For various reasons (poor credit history, lack of proper ID or a permanent address, etc.) a lot of people don't have or can't get a credit card or even a bank account. For them, the invention of the prepaid card has been a great boon in many ways — but has had its downsides.

For one thing, the consumer protection rules for prepaid cards are different — and worse. Fortunately, they're about to get a whole lot better, thanks to the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, which has just published new rules for prepaid cards. (See also: 5 Best Prepaid Debit Cards)

Key Improvements

The new rules take effect in about a year. Here are the key improvements:

1. Fees Have to Be Disclosed in a Standard Format

Currently, there's no good way to compare one prepaid card to another. Their fees are different, their rules are different, and their dispute resolution policies are different.

Starting next year, fees and rules will have to be disclosed in a standard format, so that it will be easy to compare two different cards. In addition, the policies that they will follow if you dispute a charge will be standard across all prepaid cards.

2. Fraudulent Debits Have to be Credited Back

With a credit or debit card, you just have to report fraudulent charges to the bank promptly after you get your statement, and the bank has to investigate the charge. If their investigation shows that it was fraudulent, they have to give you your money back. (There are limits. If you authorize someone to use your card and give them your PIN code, the bank won't replace any money they take out of your account.)

For prepaid cards, the rules in effect right now allow the issuer to say, "Treat the card like cash, because if it's lost or stolen, the prepaid value is gone."

That's always been a pretty self-serving rule for the card issuers. They can just ignore thefts. (They're not obliged to even investigate, let alone give you your money back.) In fact, the issuers come out ahead when you lose a card. They can just keep the money, charge you an "idle" account fee, and then (maybe) turn over any money that's left to the state as "abandoned property."

The new rules make prepaid cards almost the same as credit and debit cards, but there is one key difference. With credit or debit cards, if the bank can't complete its investigation promptly, it has to give you your money back while it keeps looking into the matter. With a prepaid card, the bank can take extra time to make sure you're who you say you are before that clock starts ticking.

3. There Has to be Some Way to Track the Use of the Card

The deadlines for reporting fraudulent transactions to the bank start as soon as you find out about the transaction, or as soon as you get your statement. Since a lot of prepaid cards don't even have regular statements, there needed to be some kind of adjustment to that rule.

The bank can just start issuing monthly statements, but they'd really rather not. The new rules say they don't have to, as long as they do all these things:

Let you access your balance by telephone;
Let you access your last 12 months of transactions electronically;
Give you a way to get the last 24 months of transactions in written form on request.

4. Overdraft Fees Are Strictly Limited

The basic rule here is that banks aren't supposed to let you overdraw a prepaid card at all. They can only let you go negative on your prepaid balance if you have a deposit pending, or if the amount is less than $10 — and then only if they don't charge a fee for doing so.

To allow any other kinds of overdrafts, they have to get you to set up a separate credit facility, with all the usual rules for loan fees and disclosures involved in offering credit.

That's a summary of the main rule changes. If you'd rather see a video, the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau has you covered with this quick video summary of the new protections:

Still Under the Old Rules

Remember — for the next year, we're still under the old rules.

Still, even under the current rules things are better than things used to be, and the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau has done its best to make sure you can figure out what your rights are. They've got a webpage with the details of the limited protections that currently apply.

The new rules go into effect October 1, 2017.

This article is from Philip Brewer of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

What Every Parent Should Know About the New College Financial Aid Rules

Ashley Eneriz — Wed, 28 Sep 2016 09:30:25 +0000

While school just started for many, if your child is college-bound or in college, it's already time to start planning for the next school year. Many families rely on the Free Application for Federal Student Aid (FAFSA) to help shoulder the costs of college, and there have been many new changes to the program. These new changes go into effect this October, so listen up.

New Application Start Date

In the past, families would submit the FAFSA form at the beginning of the new year. However, the new start date is now as early as October 1, 2016. This is a huge change, and if you are in college or have a child in college, you will want to fill the application out that day, or at least in the first few weeks of October.

For some states, FAFSA aid is distributed on a first come, first served basis. Individuals who apply earlier have a better chance of receiving aid, including grants, work-study, and federal loans.

Change Tax Information Submissions

Another big change is that individuals will not be required to submit the previous year's taxes, but instead tax information from two years prior. This means for the 2017–2018 school year, families will send in 2015 information. For families that filled out the FAFSA for the 2016–2017 year, this means you will be sending in your 2015 tax info two years in a row.

This change will make filling out and submitting the FAFSA on time a lot easier, since families used to begin the application process at the beginning of the year. Many families would have to estimate tax information and fix it later on.

Less Asset Protection Could Mean Less Aid

When parents report their finances for their child's FAFSA, a portion of their assets, including savings and investment funds, is not calculated as part of the Expected Family Contribution (EFC). This was good news for families with healthy investments but not a lot of liquidity to pay for college.

However, the dollar amount of assets exempt from the EFC will drop this year, and will continue to drop in following years. This change could mean less financial aid for many families. This will affect middle-income families that were relying on financial aid the most. However, families with lower incomes will most likely not feel the change.

Don't Fall for These FAFSA Myths

Even though there were three major changes to the FAFSA this year, it is still a free form that all families should fill out. Don't fall for these common FAFSA myths and leave money and aid on the table.

1. My Child's Grades Are Not Good Enough

While some schools use FAFSA applications to award merit-based aid, most aid is needs-based. A good portion of financial aid is awarded based off a family's income and size.

2. I Make Too Much Money to Qualify

Many families often forgo applying for financial aid because they believe they make too much. Even if your income makes you ineligible for aid, colleges give out federal student loans through the FAFSA process. If you plan on taking out federal student loans, which are preferable to private student loans, then you must fill out the FAFSA.

3. I Didn't Qualify Last Year

It is wise to apply for FAFSA each year, even if you didn't qualify for aid the year before. There could be unseen changes to your family that you might not have accounted for, such as two children in college rather than one. Also, with the new changes happening this year, you might qualify for aid.

4. The FAFSA Is Too Confusing to Fill Out

This year, you are now allowed to skip questions that do not relate to your family's financial situations. This should make the process a little easier and streamlined. If you are still having issues with your application, there are many free resources online and offline that can help. Please remember that you should never have to pay someone to file this application, nor should you pay for information regarding the process.

Circle October 1st on your calendar and have your tax information ready and easy to access. Even if you don't think you will qualify for aid, apply anyway. And remember: You must apply each and every year your child is in college. This isn't a one-time thing.

This article is from Ashley Eneriz of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

The Only 8 Rules of Investing You Need to Know

Tim Lemke — Mon, 23 May 2016 10:30:12 +0000

Investing may seem complicated. But it really isn't once you realize that most of what you need to know can fit on a fairly small list.

No matter what your investing goal, you can make money just by following some simple rules. Here are eight rules that will get you on the path to investing success.

1. Invest as Much as You Can

It's very simple. The more you invest, the more you end up with over time. The stock market's S&P 500, which tracks the performance of the largest American companies, averaged a 7.25% annual return between 2006 and 2015, according to figures tracked by New York University's Stern School of Business. And it's averaged more than 9% annually since 1928. You won't get better returns on your money anywhere else. Even small increases in your investment contributions can make a big difference. A $5,000 annual investment would turn into $74,000 in 10 years, based on a 7% return. A $6,000 annual investment would be worth $88,000. A $7,000 investment would become $103,000.

2. Start Early

One of the most important things to know about investing is that the earlier you start, the more you'll end up with in the long run. There are many people who don't start investing for retirement until very late in life, and they end up with a far smaller nest egg than they first imagined. That's because they were unable to take advantage of the phenomenon of compounded returns. Let's say that you begin saving for retirement at age 40, putting aside $1,500 monthly. Assuming a 7% annual return, by age 60, you'll have about $789,000. But if you started at age 30, you'd end up with $1.8 million after the same period. Start at age 20, and it's a very comfortable $3.84 million.

3. Look Long Term

The stock market is volatile by nature, but as we indicated above, it generally trends upward over time. If you invest with a short time horizon of less than three years, you may not make any money at all. In fact, you might lose quite a bit. But if you extend your horizon to 10, 20, or 40 years into the future, you'll enjoy solid gains on an average annual basis and see the volatility smooth out.

4. Invest in Similar Amounts Frequently Rather Than in a Lump Sum

You may think you have a good sense of precisely when the markets will go up and when they'll go down. But chances are, you're guessing just like everyone else. "Timing the market" is not something the average investor can successfully do on a regular basis. It makes much more sense to invest a set dollar amount during regular periods, usually monthly or quarterly. This is called "dollar cost averaging," and it works for investors because you end up buying more shares when prices are low and fewer shares when prices are high.

5. Use Tax-Advantaged Accounts, and Max Them Out

If you're focused on retirement — and you should be — there are great advantages to opening 401K and individual retirement accounts, due to tax laws that encourage people to save and invest. With 401K plans offered by your employer, any contributions you make are deducted from your taxable income. With a Roth IRA, your investments grow and you pay no capital gains tax when you withdraw your money when you retire.

A 401K lets you deposit up to $17,500 annually. A Roth IRA allows up to $5,500 in annual contributions. If you can max these out, you'll be in great shape.

There are other tax-advantaged vehicles, including 529 college savings plans and Coverdell accounts, which allow you to invest money without giving as much to the Internal Revenue Service. In some cases, money can grow tax free and you get a tax credit on top of that. Use these accounts, and your overall investment returns will be higher.

6. Be Aggressive When You're Young, More Conservative When Older

There's no exact consensus on the ideal investment mix, but most financial advisors suggest investing in nearly all stocks and index funds when you're young, because you're a long way from retirement and can make up and money you lose during down years. As you get closer to retirement, gradually shift your portfolio to include less volatile investments like cash and bonds.

7. Focus on Index Funds, Not Individual Stocks

It's fun to own shares of individual companies, and buying a few shares of a company you like is a good way to get started in investing. But trying to build a balanced portfolio of companies is very hard, and there's very little evidence that human beings are capable of "beating the market" on a regular basis. That's why for most investors, it's sensible to invest in mutual funds or exchange traded funds that mirror the performance of the overall stock market. This is called "indexing," and it's a surefire way to make money over time without the volatility of owning individual company shares.

8. Pay Attention to Fees and Commissions

When investing in mutual funds or exchange traded funds, take a hard look a something called an "expense ratio." That's the amount of money that the mutual fund company takes before you even see a dime in returns. These expenses range from well above 1% to a minuscule .05% by some brokerage houses. One percent may not seem like much, but it can definitely cut into your returns and cost you thousands of dollars over time. Mutual funds that are actively managed, rather than those that simply track an index, generally have higher expense ratios.

Keep in mind also that there may be fees every time you buy and sell. Discount brokerage companies will charge between $6–$10 for every transaction. That can add up if you do a lot of trading.

Any rules we've overlooked? Share with us in comments!

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This article is from Tim Lemke of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

6 Retirement Rules You Should Be Breaking

Mikey Rox — Wed, 17 Jun 2015 11:00:11 +0000

Are there right and wrong ways to retire? While that's a relative question, there are retirement rules that are in your best interest to follow — and those you might want to break. Consider these six retirement rules you might be better off ignoring.

1. Depending on a Pension or Social Security

Counting on a pension or Social Security to help you ride out your retirement years? That's probably not the best strategy to have, considering that very few companies still offer pensions (though you'd know if yours does) and Social Security is still in crisis (so much so that it might be bankrupt and not even exist by the time you retire). That's not to mention that inflation is likely to outpace your per-month payouts in the off chance that you do receive these income sources.

You may need to think of other ways to fund your retirement — and it's in your best interest to start planning for it now (or better yet, yesterday).

Brent Cumberford, founder of the personal-finance blog VOSA, offers a few suggestions.

"Start your own retirement accounts; invest in business to generate a second — and third and fourth — stream of income; and hustle to make some extra money on the side to kick start your retirement savings," he says.

Putting in the extra time and effort early on to pad your retirement account for later means you might actually be able to enjoy those golden years.

2. Withdrawing From Your Retirement Fund or Social Security Right Away

Even if you have plenty of money in your retirement fund (or think you do, as is the likelier scenario), that doesn't mean you should start withdrawing from it the day after your retirement party. Proceed with caution in this case and remember that you still have a long life ahead of you.

"One retirement rule that no longer makes sense is the one that suggests a 4% annual withdrawal rate on your retirement portfolio," observes personal finance expert David Bakke of MoneyCrashers. "Americans are living longer these days, and if you go by that rule you might outlive your money. Your best bet is to withdraw as little as possible in the beginning and adjust your strategy as you see how things are progressing as you get acclimated to living off of your retirement money."

Bakke says that waiting to withdrawal money from Social Security has its benefits too, as you may receive a larger annual Social Security benefit when you wait.

3. Going Full Retirement Because You Think You Have To

Just because the government says you can retire at age 65 doesn't mean that you have to resign the rest of your life to whiling away the hours. Instead — if you're still willing and able — consider semi-retirement. It's the best of both worlds really: You can still contribute to society as a part-time member of the workforce, and you can enjoy more leisure time as a result of your shorter work schedule.

More and more older Americans are opting for semi-retirement, in fact. Some are even opting for a new career path altogether. Continuing to work at least part-time past retirement age will not only help you feel like you still have something to offer the world, but it also helps you to continue to actively build your retirement fund — or at least maintain it at its current level.

Elle Kaplan, CEO and founder of an asset management firm, touches a bit more on the financial benefits of semi-retirement.

"How would a semi-retirement change your financial reality?" she asks. "Take two months and track the money coming in and going out. Keep track of what you spend and all your bills. This will give you a clear sense of where you stand. Next, figure out what your Social Security payment is going to be each month in retirement. The Social Security Administration will provide this information and tell you how much you'll get based on what age you retire. Working even a few more years can have a huge impact."

4. Waiting Until You're 65 to Retire

Retirement age is typically specified at 65 years old in the United States. But to heck with that! Wouldn't you like to retire earlier?

Of course, you'll probably need to strike it rich — or live very meagerly — in order to hang up your work boots in advance of the government-issued go-ahead. But maybe not. Have you ever thought about short-term mini-retirements? Ever even heard of the concept?

"Obviously it would be awesome if everyone could earn a fortune, retire young, and travel the world, but it's not going to happen for everyone," Cumberford says. "What can happen for almost everyone is short-term mini-retirements, a concept spoken about in greater detail by Tim Ferriss in The 4-Hour Workweek. Saving money specifically for a short sabbatical, or even just an extended vacation while keeping your current employment can typically be negotiated. Think five weeks in Southeast Asia, or a summer backpacking across Europe. With the virtually endless amount of airline and hotel points that can be earned through travel hacking, even far away places can be very affordable."

As someone who has hosted lots of Australian guests who are allotted at least six weeks vacation every year, I'm not only envious, but also in favor of the idea of short-term mini-retirements. While they're working to live, we Americans are living to work (well into our golden years), and that's an outlook that could use some rethinking. Shouldn't we enjoy a high-quality lifestyle throughout our lifetime instead of when we're darn near dead?

5. Clinging to the Family Home

For many of us, our homes hold a lot of memories that make it hard to part with the house — even after the kids are grown and gone. But as you enter retirement, it's not a great idea to hang on to a large space with high utilities or even a mortgage that will become more and more difficult to manage as you age. The alternative is to downsize, of course, such as a smaller house or apartment, or even alternative-living situations that may suit you even more — like an RV, for instance.

Janet Groene, author of Living Aboard Your RV, 4th Edition, lived in an RV for 10 years before settling in Florida, and she's a staunch advocate for the nomad lifestyle.

"By selling out and moving into an RV, retirees fulfill their dreams of travel and at the same time live comfortably in a fully equipped home on wheels while scouting for the right place to settle down in retirement," she encourages.

6. Heading South for the Winter

Snowbirding — the practice of northerners spending the winter in warmer climates and summers at home — is common among retirees. But isn't that just a little too passé for today's generation of leisure seekers? Mark Koep, founder of CampgroundViews.com, thinks so. Like Groene, he wants retirees to think about their living options and arrangements more in depth so they don't automatically relegate themselves to a lifestyle that isn't necessarily fulfilling.

"The old idea of snowbirding ignores the freedom and adventure that modern retirees seek," he says. "Instead retirees should consider boondocking — camping in Bureau of Land Management and Forest Service lands for free — and discount membership clubs to travel and explore more destinations."

Do you have other retirement rules we should be breaking? Let us know in the comments below.

This article is from Mikey Rox of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

10 Relationship Rules You Should Be Breaking

Mikey Rox — Wed, 15 Apr 2015 13:00:09 +0000

I don't know what it was like to be in a serious relationship back in the day — pre-social media, I mean — but I can imagine that it was much easier than it is in 2015. So much has changed over the past 20 — heck, even 10 — years that some of the most trusted and seemingly infallible relationship rules are now all but obsolete. The new school of thought on the issue? Adapt your relationship to today, or face certain doom.

To catch you up to speed, here's a look at some of the most prominent relationship rules of yore that you should start kickin' to the curb.

1. Not Going to Bed Angry

My parents still adhere to this rule — or at least this is a piece of advice that my mother gives me when my marriage hits a rough patch — but I don't buy it. When we first started out, we tried to resolve the issue at hand before bed, but it rarely resulted in a truce, and the more time wore on, we were just like, screw it, I'm tired, let's resume our battle stations in the morning.

I know we're not alone.

"If you follow this rule, it could mean a lot of late nights, and nothing escalates an argument more than sleep deprivation and mental exhaustion," says Dr. Jared DeFife, a clinical psychologist and relationship coach. "I see couples in my practice who feel like they have to adhere to this rule or resolve an argument right away, leading them to drawn-out disputes where nothing gets accomplished and everyone's nerves are fried. When it comes to arguments, it's ok to take a break; in fact, it might even be necessary. You can use that time to calm down, understand your emotions, and return with a level head and a more nuanced perspective."

And hey, there's always the possibility of make-up sex in the morning!

2. Thinking That Love Means Never Having to Say You're Sorry

Excuse while I LOL at this one. Whatever narcissistic dude came up with this (and I'm 100% certain it was a dude) was smokin' the good stuff — and I want some. Because the truth is, sometimes we're real capital Bs to our partners, and apologies are absolutely necessary.

"Nobody's perfect," Dr. DeFife reminds us. "Sometimes we're grumpy or short-tempered or do the wrong thing. The mark of a good partnership is not in never screwing up or having conflicts, but in being able to recognize those concerns and to effectively make repairs when things go awry. A well-thought through and meaningful apology can actually strengthen a relationship in areas of discontent or disconnection."

I think I'll have that quote printed on a stack of Post-it Notes and hide them in my husband's desk.

3. Playing Hard to Get

Playing hard to get can be fun. But giving the guy or girl the runaround for an extended period of time so you can feed your own ego as they try harder and harder to get your attention also can be dangerous.

"This includes waiting an X amount of days or minutes before calling or texting, dumping men who do not initiate contact, and only scheduling activities on certain days or times of the day," explains Dr. Carolyn C. Ferreira, a licensed clinical psychologist. "Playing hard to get is unattractive to both sexes, and it also prohibits people from being their real selves and expressing their true feelings, which is an overall bad way to begin a relationship."

4. Waiting a Set Amount of Time After a Breakup

Breaking up or getting a divorce can sometimes feel like somebody died. You've spent most of your time with your partner for however many months or years you were together, then all of a sudden, they're gone. If this was a serious relationship, grieving this loss is a normal emotional reaction, but you shouldn't let other people dictate how long you take to heal. Whenever you feel like you're ready to get back out there and find your next future ex, put on your going-out pants and get back in the game.

"People grieve loss at their own pace; someone may be over a divorce in a month, whereas it might take someone else six months," Dr. Ferreira says.

5. Perpetuating Gender Stereotypes at Home

My husband and I have battled with this since the day we moved in together — and we're two dudes. Speaking as a man then, it's kind of insulting when someone expects that you'll do the cooking and cleaning because that's traditionally what the female in the relationship does. Not that I mind doing it — for the most part — but I don't want it to be an expectation because I'm the smaller, more creative partner in the relationship. I still have dude parts, dude. This type of thinking applies to any scenario, and as far as I'm concerned you can take that "Honeymooners" BS and shove it.

"Adhering to household tasks based on gender roles and stereotypes should also be reconsidered by couples," adds Dr. Ferreira. "Instead of completing tasks because you're the man or woman, couples should look at their strengths and weaknesses as a couple in order to decide who does what. For example, it does not make sense for the man to take care of the finances if he does not know what an Excel spreadsheet is, but his wife does because she's a business owner."

Might be time to start shakin' things up on the homefront, eh?

6. Believing That Fighting Is Healthy

Having lovers' quarrels every now and then is okay; it's good to get issues off your chest. Screaming in each other's face on a regular basis isn't. It's wise to note too that the term "fighting" is relative, and it behooves you to keep your definition of it in check to avoid a dangerous downward spiral.

"There are many myths and expectations about fighting in marriage," says Dr. Tina B. Tessina, psychotherapist and author of "Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting About the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage." "Couples come into my office frequently believing that fighting is a necessary part of being a couple, that all married couples fight, and it's a normal part of marriage. But the fact is that fighting accomplishes nothing, and it isn't necessary for couples to argue, to yell, or to have heated discussions to get problems solved. Hanging on to these ideas makes it difficult to let go of fighting."

P.S. Don't ever let anybody hit you. Ever. It's not your fault, and you don't deserve it.

7. Searching for Your Soulmate (When You May Not Have One)

What if your soulmate died before you had a chance to meet? Too depressing? I'll let Patricia Johnson and Mark Michaels, relationship experts and co-authors of "Partners in Passion," explain why you may not have a soulmate in a more palatable way.

"In contemporary society, there is a very common superstition that finding one's soulmate — sometimes called a 'twin flame' — is the key to having a true pair-bond, and that in the absence of this 'other half,' no intimate relationship will be fully satisfying," Johnson and Michaels say. "Two very damaging concepts are implicit in this belief: first, that there is a single, ideal partner out there in the world for every individual, and second, that people are incomplete until they find their 'other half.'"

In other words, stop holding out and start living more. You never know who you'll encounter along the way.

8. Accepting That Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus

Society — especially American culture — wants us to believe that men and women are so different that it's like we're each from separate planets. Yes, we have differences, but we also have many similarities that nobody ever seems to want to talk about because it's not interesting enough to sell 50 million books worldwide.

"We're not the first to observe that people of all genders are from Earth," Johnson and Michaels explain. "Beyond that, men and women have more in common with each other than with any other creature on the planet. To make blanket generalizations is not helpful except on the most superficial level. This model builds on older myths — the concepts of 'opposite sexes' and 'the battle of the sexes' — and reconfigures them in therapeutic terms. Despite this reframing, the model is still an adversarial one, and adversarial models are not optimal for nurturing harmonious relationships or fueling sexual passion, except in very small doses. Having the sense that you're on opposing teams will only foster conflict."

9. Assuming That Monogamy Is Natural and Optimal

So I don't get in trouble down the road for providing my personal opinion on long-term relationships and monogamy, I'll let Johnson and Michaels give you theirs.

"If human biology inspires us both to form intimate pair bonds and to seek contacts outside of those bonds, then what makes for a healthy relationship is considerably more complex than dogmatic advocates of monogamy (or non monogamy for that matter) would have us believe," say the pair. "At the same time, the impulse to bond deeply with another is not something that should be dismissed lightly. Our species varies a great deal, and it's a mistake to think about absolutes when it comes to monogamy and non-monogamy."

10. Dating Within Your Type

Just like I don't want all skinny, redheaded, melanin-free friends, I don't think it's very interesting to pursue a certain "type" of person in a romantic capacity. I've dated all types of guys — white, black, Asian, Indian, Middle Eastern, and Latino — and it has only served to broaden my horizons. Still, I have plenty of friends — especially the religious ones — who refuse to date outside their race or faith. To each their own of course, but I totally think they're missing out.

Relationship expert April Masini agrees.

"One of the best ways to get out of a dating rut is to date a Republican if you're a Democrat, or someone rich if you're poor, or a creative type if you're by the book," she says. "Date out of your religious or racial group. Date someone your mother wouldn't fix you up with — were you to let her. It'll shake up any rigidity you've succumbed to, and it's a great way to find love. It also expands your resources and gives you a bigger dating pool."

What are some of the relationship rules that you think we should be breaking? Let me know in the comments below.

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This article is from Mikey Rox of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

Best Money Tips: The Rules of Re-Gifting

Ashley Jacobs — Fri, 29 Jul 2011 10:00:19 +0000

Welcome to Wise Bread's Best Money Tips Roundup! Today we found some awesome articles on the rules of re-gifting, ways to find cheap paperback books, and how to avoid credit card problems while traveling.

Are the new home appraisal rules good for consumers?

Xin Lu — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 21:34:33 +0000

On May 1st a new set of home appraisal rules called the Home Valuation Code of Conduct was put into effect by Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac in order to distance realtors and mortgage brokers from appraisers. This was put in place because during the housing bubble appraisal fraud was rampant and some appraisers felt pressured by realtors and brokers to hit the desired numbers. How is this affecting consumers?

The biggest change in the Code is that loan officers, mortgage brokers, or real estate agents can no longer have any role in choosing appraisers. The lender is responsible for choosing the appraiser and following the Code if they want to sell the mortgage to Fannie Mae or Freddie Mac. The lender could also accept an appraisal prepared for another lender if the other lender also followed the Code.

As a result of the new rule some lenders are outsourcing the selection of appraisers to appraisal management companies, and some say that this is increasing appraisal fees for consumers because these companies take a cut of an appraiser's fee. The appraiser has to increase his or her price accordingly to recoup the loss. Another critism is that these appraisal-management companies do not always choose local appraisers that know an area well. As a result some appraisals may be inaccurate.

Right now the National Association of Realtors does not like this rule very much and their chief economist Lawrence Yun said the following:"In the past month, stories of appraisal problems have been snowballing from across the country with many contracts falling through at the last moment." The NAR also sent legislators letters protesting this rule and it is also suggesting that regulators put an 18 months hold on the rule.

Bill Garber, the Director of Government and External Relations at the Appraisal Institute issued the following response to the NAR's complaints, "In a typical real estate transaction [such as a buyer seeking a loan], our clients are the lenders. Appraisers provide lenders with information that protects them from making questionable loans and investments and helps them minimize risk. However, that should not suggest a bias toward lower valuation. Appraisers reflect the market, and sometimes, the markets don.t act like we want them to or hope they will. Nonetheless, competent and professional appraisers understand this and develop credible estimates of value that ultimately ensure that lenders loan the proper amount, buyers don't pay too much and sellers get a fair price."

I think Bill Garber's response is right on the spot and lower appraisals are simply reflecting the market now. It is beneficial for consumers to get lower prices on homes, but I have also heard anecdotal stories of faulty appraisals where information such school districts and home size were wrong. It is very frustrating for home buyers and sellers when a low appraisal stops the loan process. If I were a home buyer in that situation I would probably check the appraisal report for errors first, because any factual errors can be reported to the lender. If the report seems to contain no errors then I would attempt to negotiate the price to be at the appraisal because I would not want to pay too much. I do not think that a low appraisal is the death of every single real estate transaction as long as everyone involved are willing to compromise.

In conclusion, I think it is a good thing if an honest and accurate appraisal shows you that you are willing paying too much for something. I think the new code does have some problems because it adds a layer of bureaucracy and pricing through appraisal management companies. However, this new process does remove a lot of bias in appraisals because it is a lot less likely that the appraiser chosen has a previous relationship with the real estate agent or mortgage broker involved in the deal. I am hoping that this reduces appraisal fraud by a great margin, and I think that is good for everyone involved in a real estate transaction.

What do you think of this new code? Have you faced difficulties in your real estate transactions lately due to appraisal issues?

This article is from Xin Lu of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

How will the new credit card rules affect consumers?

Xin Lu — Wed, 20 May 2009 02:17:55 +0000

Today a new bill was passed by the U.S. Senate with the intent of restricting abusive practices in the credit card industry. A House bill was passed on May 12th and will be reconciled with the Senate version and President Obama hopes to sign it before Memorial Day. So what does this bill contain and what does it mean for consumers?

First of all here is a summary of the new rules:

Credit card companies will be required to mail a bill 21 days before it is due.
Universal default will no longer be allowed. This means that borrowers who are late or default on one card would not have their rates raised by another lender as long as the second lender is being paid on time.
Rates may not be raised on borrowers until they are 60 days past due. As long as the borrower becomes current and pays on time for 6 months after they were delinquent the rates have to be lowered to its original amount.
Extra fees for paying over the phone or online will be disallowed.
If you have more than one card with a company, your payments must be applied to the card with the highest interest rate first.
Issuers have to notify customers of rate changes 45 days before the change.
Late fees cannot be assessed if the issuer delayed crediting the payment.
Rates cannot be increased in the first year and promotional rates have to last at least six months.
Penalty fees for going over the credit limit is disallowed unless the cardholder agrees to it. If the cardholder does not agree to transactions over the limit then the transaction would be rejected.
Issuers must disclose the time and total interest costs it would take for consumers to pay off a balance if only minimum payments are made.
Gift cards must keep their full balance for at least five years.
Consumers under the age of 21 must have a co-signer who is willing to take on the responsibility of the debt unless they can prove they have the ability to pay. Most likely a parent has to co-sign. Additionally limit increases must be approved by the parent.

Finally, a completely unrelated amendment that is going into this bill is that you are now allowed to carry guns in national parks and wildlife refuges again. I am not quite sure that is in a credit card bill.

I think most of these changes are good since they are designed to stop consumers from falling into costly traps such as a $35 charge for being $2 over limit. Additionally, notifying a consumer how long it would take to pay off his or her debt is a good reminder as to how expensive credit can be and that notice with every statement may encourage people to pay more than the minimum. I think the item that allows a delinquent borrower to keep the same rate as before is a bit questionable because it could give people the impression that there is no consequences if they skip a payment or two. If a borrower becomes deliquent there is a higher chance that he or she would default, and so it makes sense to raise the rates to offset the risk. Another rule that I find somewhat detrimental and restrictive is that young people up to the age of 21 have to get a cosigner. This may prevent many responsible young adults from building up a credit history if they do not have a person who is willing to cosign.

Credit card companies generally do not make much money off borrowers who default completely, and the best customers for them are those who pay the minimum balance on time. Those who pay the entire balance on time and incur no interest or penalties are ironically known as "deadbeats" in the credit card industry. I think the changes will definitely prompt credit card companies to be more strict in who they hand cards to. This could mean that people with little credit history or low credit scores will have a harder time getting a card and the interest rates may be higher than now, but that may encourage more people to save their cash to buy things.

One potentially negative effect that has been discussed in many media outlets is that credit card issuers may want to recoup their "losses" on deceptive practices from the card payers who pay their balances in full every month. Reward programs may be cut, and the annual fee may return. However, I think consumers with great credit and the discipline to pay in full every month will just abandon the cards that try to squeeze more out of them. After all, issuers still make money off these customers through transaction fees. Even though the margin is smaller, these customers are better than those who default completely. I do believe that reward programs may be less rewarding in the future, so it might be worthwhile to cash in those points while the rewards are still good.

These changes will not go in effect until early next year, and the credit industry is not too happy with them. Do you think that these rules are reasonable? Have you dealt with any abuse from credit card companies?

This article is from Xin Lu of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

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10 Relationship Rules You Should Be Breaking

1. Not Going to Bed Angry

2. Thinking That Love Means Never Having to Say You're Sorry

3. Playing Hard to Get

4. Waiting a Set Amount of Time After a Breakup

5. Perpetuating Gender Stereotypes at Home

6. Believing That Fighting Is Healthy

7. Searching for Your Soulmate (When You May Not Have One)

8. Accepting That Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus

9. Assuming That Monogamy Is Natural and Optimal

10. Dating Within Your Type

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