compromise

10 Ways to Improve Your Company's Culture, Even If You Aren't the Boss

Paul Michael — Thu, 12 Jul 2018 08:00:25 +0000

When you work for a company, you soon get to know its culture. Sometimes it's fantastic; everyone gets along great, and you pinch yourself to see if you're dreaming. Most of the time, however, company culture is in need of some improvement, if not a complete overhaul.

This is where you can help. Even if you're not the one in the corner office, you can still have a positive impact on your work environment and company culture. Here's how.

1. Don't help the gossip spread

One of the worst aspects of any company culture is the rumor mill. Almost every place of employment has it. If you're not the boss, and it's not your place to put your foot down about stopping the spread of gossip, you can at least do your part to limit how far it goes.

The best way to do that is to stop feeding into it yourself. Don't lean in at the water cooler when voices turn to whispers and someone is talking about a co-worker. Don't engage. Simply say you're not interested, and walk away. You may not be able to wipe it out entirely, but by becoming a positive influence, you may inspire others to avoid it as well. (See also: 8 Career Moves That Prove You're Finally a Grown-Up)

2. Look at "bad" projects with a fresh perspective

Something I have personally learned from my 20+ years working in advertising is that there aren't bad accounts. What happens is that the people working on them become jaded, relationships are strained, and they become awful to work on. Then, a new hire comes in and suddenly that account is turned around for the better, simply because the newcomer had no history with it. Use this perspective to your advantage.

What projects are just awful? Which tasks are dreaded? Which people seem to just collapse when they hear the name of a certain client or account? Take a look at it with fresh eyes. Why is it bad? Are people actively making the situation worse with a negative attitude? What can you do in the next week to turn that ship around?

3. Get in earlier and leave a little later

Remember the zip and zeal you had for the job when you first arrived? You couldn't wait to get to your desk and dig into the work day. After a while, that get-up-and-go has got up and left, and you're probably like most other people now. The same routine. The same habits. Why not change it up and go back to the attitude you had during the first few weeks?

Get in earlier, and be the first one to make the coffee for everyone. Do the rounds and say hi to other people as they come in (it's amazing what a friendly smile can do to lift anyone's spirits). Hang out a little later than usual, and when you do leave, do so with some pep in your step. You'll be surprised at how infectious your new lease on life will be. (See also: 10 Small Gestures That Go a Long Way at Work)

4. Strive for the culture you want to have

You know that adage, "Dress for the position you want?" Well, the same applies to company culture. Rather than accepting that this is the way it is, make your actions fall in line with the culture you'd rather have.

Admittedly, it'll be baby steps at first. You can't suddenly start working from home three days a week when the policy is dead set against it. But you can make small changes that can incrementally lead to bigger ones.

For instance, some places like to get all the employees together on a Friday evening to mingle, with drinks and snacks provided. Why not ask if you can start something like that? Get people interested in providing refreshments as a group effort. Do it after everyone's work is done. This simple act of togetherness could impact the morale and thinking of the whole company.

5. Provide solutions, don't just point out problems

It's incredibly easy to voice a negative opinion about something. How many times have you seen a political party rant and rave about a policy they don't like, but come up with empty rhetoric when asked to give a real solution? As we all know, building something up is way harder than knocking it down, so don't bring a sledgehammer to the debate.

Instead, look at what you think is wrong and find ways to give solutions to the people at the top. This could be through your manager, human resources, or even a company suggestion box. Writing, "The dress code here sucks" is nowhere near as effective as writing, "Let's dress in casual clothes, but have a smart outfit on hand in case of client meetings."

6. Don't go it alone

There is strength in numbers, and that could not be more true for shifting the corporate culture. If one person comes to the boss asking for more paid sick leave, it's just one voice. If it's half the company, the boss will sit up and take notice.

Find people who believe in the same changes and improvements you do, and get organized. Make regular petitions to the boss for small but important changes that would improve the morale of the whole company. When the boss gets the chance to make everyone happy and look good, without forking over an arm and a leg, they'll do it.

7. Never make it personal

This ties in nicely with the last point, but it's worth noting that your own bugbears are not going to be a good enough reason to make any significant changes. Maybe you loved working remotely two days a week at your last job, but if this current company doesn't allow that for anyone, they're not going to make an exception just to please you. Saying, "I work better with music" is not going to fly if no one else wants to hear music all day. Instead, find a way to make your personal case one that doesn't require big changes — like, for example, asking if you can wear headphones.

8. Acknowledge any effort management makes to change

The first time you cook any kind of meal, it's not going to turn out perfect. Imagine your reaction if the person you made it for said, "This is dry, has way too much salt, and it took you hours to get it done!" Chances are, you're not cooking for that person again any time soon.

It's the same with management. They're people, not faceless entities. When they see a problem and do what they can to try and make it even a little better, let them know. Sure, the pot luck was poorly organized, few people came, and there wasn't enough time to enjoy it. Praise the positives, with suggestions on how it can be even better when they try again. Encouragement goes much further than scorn.

9. Work your magic with people who have influence

You're not the boss. You may not even speak to the boss on a weekly basis. However, you will almost certainly know someone that does, and you can use that to your advantage.

When you see them in the break room, make time to sit down and have a chat. Talk about what you would do to make things better if you had the boss's ear. Provide suggestions that this contact can use as his or her own, and in turn relay them to the decision makers. It doesn't matter who takes credit for a better culture. The reward is the culture itself — not the accolade of changing it.

10. Know why the culture changes you want are required

Some of the greatest company cultures in the world are envied by us all. However, they're not appropriate or doable for every company, and asking for something totally out of reach could sink any chances you have for small successes.

For example, Walt Disney Parks and Resorts regularly makes the list of one of the top places to work in the world. Remember though, they are in the business of happiness and fantasy, and many of their company policies are not going to go over well in a manufacturing plant or accountancy firm.

Look at your business and see what can be done to improve things for good reason. A generous vacation policy is valuable everywhere, as is an on-site gym, corporate discounts, and 401(k) matches. If you say you want all-you-can-drink soda and snacks for free, and a massive entertainment system in the break room, you better be able to back that up with more than "Because it would be cool." (See also: 5 Ways Employee Perks Are Good for Business)

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This article is from Paul Michael of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

10 Ways to Smooth Over a Work Disagreement

Paul Michael — Wed, 06 Jun 2018 09:00:17 +0000

Conflicts in the workplace are tough. They can lead to a very stressful work environment, a lot of sleepless nights, and some people even quit their jobs over the issue. But if you approach the disagreement calmly, it should not be something that ever gets you to the point of quitting or taking time off. You can get past this. Here's how.

1. Give each other time to calm down

Nothing good ever comes from a conversation that happens in the heat of the moment. Tempers are flared, egos are bruised, and both of you may say things you later regret (or that could impact your position at the company).

Whatever the situation, agree to take a time out from each other for at least 24 hours so that you can sleep on the issue and perhaps talk to someone about it. You will both come back to the table a lot calmer, perhaps with some insights into how and why the disagreement happened in the first place, and what you can do to smooth things over and get back to work. (See also: 5 Times You Should Avoid Confronting a Co-Worker)

2. Look at the issue from their perspective

It's easy to get self-centered when you have a disagreement. You know you're not the one at fault, and you sure aren't about to change your mind. But putting yourself in the shoes of the other person can be tremendously helpful, especially if you're convinced that this is all on them.

Advertising legend Bill Bernbach used to carry around a small piece of paper in his pocket. On it were three words: "Maybe he's right." Maybe you did something that led to choppy waters. Even if you didn't, what is the other person going through right now? Is there trouble at home? Did they get handed a lot of responsibility in a short amount of time? Are they in fear of losing their job? By switching roles in the disagreement, you will have a better understanding of it. And hopefully, the other person is doing the exact same thing.

3. Don't play the blame game

Finger-pointing is for the playground. In a professional working environment, trying to throw all of the blame onto someone else is not going to go over well. For a start, even if it really is all on the other person, you're going to be perceived by others as unreasonable. What's more, coming to an accord is going to be almost impossible if you don't bring some kind of concession to the table.

Imagine for a second that this happened because of a mistake you made. If the conversation starts with, "This is all your fault and you know it," how open will you feel to talking this through? Put aside the blame, and instead focus on the issue at hand, rather than the person who started it. What's the problem, how do you solve it, and how do you do it in a way that both parties can agree upon? Any meeting of the minds that starts with a pointed finger is not going to end well.

4. Stay focused on the issue

It happens in disagreements at home all the time, and it's not helpful. You start off arguing about one thing, and before you know it, you've lost your temper and it's become a character assassination. Don't let this happen at work.

If the other person is constantly late, and it impacts your projects, find out why. Saying, "You're late because you're disorganized and lazy" is an attack that leads to greater conflict. Instead, talk calmly about the situation and offer advice that could help. Maybe it's simply a case of downloading a few organization apps that can keep that person on schedule. If the other person keeps making mistakes, look at the cause. Are they stressed about something? Were they never shown the correct procedure? Was their training rushed, or was it given by someone who made the very same mistakes? Stay laser-focused on the issue, and a resolution will be reached much more quickly.

5. Don't ignore it and hope it will go away

It won't. Well, not unless that person is fired or has a life-changing epiphany. By ignoring it, you're both letting it fester. The issue will always be there, like an inactive volcano, and all it takes is one push to make it explode. You can paint on a smile, you can pretend everything is peachy, but you'll both eventually combust.

It's far better to get everything out in the open as soon as you can, talk about it, and find a solution. It's more difficult to tackle it than it is to ignore it, but the outcome is way better for everyone involved. You may even find that after the issue is resolved, you become good friends.

6. Establish ground rules for a conversation

There should be rules you both agree on before talking it out, and they can be very helpful in alleviating some natural tensions. For starters, you should both agree not to attack the other person's character. You may want to have a rule that allows either person to step away for a few minutes if things get heated or they're having a hard time concentrating. Perhaps you want a third party there to take notes and keep everyone honest. As long as you both agree on these rules before you begin, you should make significant progress.

When you're done, agree to shake hands, put the incident behind you, and focus on the future. This is not something anyone wants shoved back in their face the second some other disagreement happens.

7. Don't go negative

If you've ever had a disagreement with a romantic partner, you know how quickly it can derail when things turn negative. You go from talking, to screaming, to not speaking to each other at all. And after a period of not talking, it can take longer to recover from that argument than the issue it was actually about.

The same applies to a workplace disagreement. Do not go into the negative aspects of the issue. Avoid hostility, bitterness, and resentment. If your co-worker starts wandering into that territory, be the bigger person and steer them back to positive ground. Remember, you're both working for the same company, and you should both want each other to do well. When you're successful at your roles, the company benefits and everyone's a winner. So, stay positive. If you have things to say that may sound negative, how can you frame them in a better way? What good can come of this? What can you both learn?

8. Help the other party offer up a reasonable solution

This works well with most disagreements. If you come to the table with a solution already figured out, the other person will feel like you've bulldozed over them. Why should they take the solution you've offered? Does it benefit you more than them?

Instead, after you have both talked about the disagreement, ask them to consider what could be done to make the situation better for both of you, and maybe hint at solutions. For example, if they have been playing their music excessively loud, you could mention that the company pays for certain accessories that are helpful to create a harmonious working environment. That may be all the other person needs to suggest that he or she wears headphones. And if the company doesn't pay, why not offer to go halves, or pay yourself? If it leads to a happier life for you, it's money well spent. (See also: 12 Ways You're Driving Your Co-workers Insane)

9. Find a mediator

If the situation warrants it, and things have devolved into a situation that is unproductive, consider bringing in a mediator to help with the dispute. It could be another person from your department, a manager, or maybe just someone in the company who is known to be a people person. Don't bring in someone from human resources unless you want to make this official (more on that in a moment), and don't ask someone clearly biased to one of you.

Explain the situation to the mediator, and have the other person do the same. You are both going to have your own version of the story — if the mediator only hears one side of it, this will not work. Sit down and discuss things rationally. The mediator can help you both avoid going into a negative place, and can also explain things to each of you that may not come across the right way from either party, for obvious reasons.

10. Take it to human resources

As a last resort, and if you have tried all other avenues, you should both raise the issue with your human resources department (if you have one). When HR gets involved, you are shedding light on an issue that could have serious implications for both parties, so make sure you know what you're getting into.

You both may have to take some conflict resolution classes, and it's possible the incident could go into your employee record. That in turn could impact raises, bonuses, and other work-related benefits if it is seen that you cannot work out a disagreement amiably with each other. Human resources will keep the peace, but remember HR is there first and foremost to protect the company, not the employees. Everything will be put in writing, and if this is very serious, such as a disagreement based on race, age, gender, harassment, whistle-blowing, or favoritism, HR has the power to take action that could lead to dismissal and even criminal charges.

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This article is from Paul Michael of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

How a New Marriage Can Survive Student Loan Debt

Matt Bell — Tue, 29 May 2018 08:30:47 +0000

It's a very common scenario. Girl meets boy, they fall in love, and decide to get married. They're excited about starting their new life together, but they're also weighed down by student loan debt — a lot of student loan debt. As they drag that heavy ball and chain into the future, what steps can they take to tilt the odds of marital and financial success in their favor? If that's your situation, read on.

1. Understand the details

Good communication is essential to the success of any relationship, and while money can be a tough topic, you'll get your marriage off to a great start by getting accustomed to talking about your finances. You might as well dive right in and start with your debt.

No matter which one of you is bringing debt into the marriage, both of you should know exactly how much debt. You should also be clear about the interest rate, the monthly payment amount, and how long those payments will continue.

That will help you to both manage your expectations about when you might be able to buy a house, how much you can spend on vacations, and all the rest. (See also: The 7 Worst Money Mistakes Married People Make)

2. Be one in debt

Marriage is about oneness, unity, and teamwork. You're not becoming roommates; you're becoming husband and wife. So, if one of you was wealthy and the other was not before getting married, after you get married, both of you will be wealthy. By the same token, before marriage, if one of you had debt and the other did not, once you're married, both of you will have debt.

When my friends Scott and Karen Coy got married, Karen had more than $50,000 of nonmortgage debt. Scott jokingly referred to it as "a reverse dowry." After getting married, Karen often expressed how bad she felt about "my debt." But from day one, Scott would correct her, saying it was "our debt."

It took them six-and-a-half years to become debt-free. All that time, they rented even though they would have preferred to buy a house. It took great patience and perseverance.

Karen says she will always remember the day they made their last payment. It was as if a huge weight had been lifted from their shoulders. And looking back, she says the way they navigated the journey — together — created an inseparable bond in their marriage.

3. Consider being two in taxes

If you were using an income-based repayment plan before getting married, how you file your taxes after you get married will matter greatly. If you file jointly, your payment amount may go up. That's because income-based repayment plans require you to "recertify" each year by submitting your income tax returns to your loan servicer, who will now make decisions based on your joint income. So, you may want to consider filing separately, in which case most student loan plans will use just the borrower's income as the basis for recertification.

However, filing separately may make you ineligible for certain tax credits, so proceed with caution. It would be best to consult with an accountant or run some what-if scenarios with tax-planning software.

4. Figure out the implications for your budget

Before deciding where you'll live after you get married, create a post-marriage cash flow plan. What works best is to fill in your financial commitments first. How much of your joint income will you save and invest? How much will you give to charity? And how much will you need to devote to debt repayment?

Then you can see how much you can afford for rent or a mortgage. I usually recommend committing no more than 25 percent of monthly gross income to the combination of your mortgage, property taxes, and homeowners' insurance. If you rent, devote no more than 25 percent to your rent and renters' insurance.

A student loan payment, however, changes the math. I recommend that the combination of your housing and your student loans together make up no more than 25 percent of your monthly gross income. So, you should figure out what percentage of your monthly gross income your loan payment amounts to and subtract that from 25 percent. The answer is the percentage of gross income you could devote to housing while you have student loans.

If your student loans amount to an especially large percentage of your gross income, that may end up being overly restrictive. So, you'll have to adjust other spending categories downward, such as entertainment, clothing, or vacations. (See also: 3 Simple Ways to Split Bills With Your Spouse)

5. Prioritize early payoff

The early years of your marriage present a great opportunity to speed up the process of getting out of debt. If you want to have kids one day, your pre-kid days will be the most financially flexible time you may ever experience. Make the most of it by making extra payments on your loans.

Debt can be a roadblock in the pursuit of financial goals such as buying a home, and it can be a hindrance to a happy marriage. So, consider building your lifestyle on just one income and putting most of the other paycheck toward your student loans. By living an especially frugal life in the early years of your marriage, you'll be setting yourselves up for long-term success. (See also: 7 Ways Paying Off Student Loans Early Can Boost Your Finances)

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This article is from Matt Bell of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

6 Ways to Boost Your Partner's Bad Credit Without Risking Your Own

Mikey Rox — Tue, 08 May 2018 09:00:13 +0000

You can't help with whom you fall in love — and that's never more annoying than when the object of your affection has royally effed up their credit. Nobody's calling it quits over a few past financial mistakes, but the situation will need to improve if you two are planning a future together that includes buying a home, starting a business, or other major money-based life decisions.

Since you're now in this together, you have a responsibility to do what you can to make sure you start your joint life on the right foot credit-wise. Here's how.

1. Help your partner review their credit report to flag and report errors

If your partner has terrible credit, it's likely that they don't know how to pull their credit report, flag errors, and report them to the appropriate authority to have them removed or updated. That's where your expertise (or even elementary knowledge) of how credit reports work comes in. Flagging and reporting credit errors is the first step in getting their situation back on track and under control. Once that's squared away, you can move on to the bigger issues. (See also: How to Read a Credit Report)

2. Provide positive reinforcement instead of bailing them out

It's easy to throw money at a problem to make it go away — especially if you have extra cash to spare and the person you love will benefit immensely from your generosity (at least in the short term). But I urge you to avoid opening your wallet to deal with your partner's bad credit. Instead, provide encouragement that they can manage their debt on their own.

They created this situation, after all, and the only acceptable solution is that they work it out without your financial assistance. Help them in other areas, like navigating their credit report, but don't shill out dough to dig them out. The only thing they'll take away from that scenario is that you'll always be the sucker who pays for their poor judgment.

3. Establish a cash allowance that you'll both adhere to

You can't take your adult partner's credit cards from them (even though you might like to), so an easier-to-swallow solution is to jointly stop using credit and instead switch over to an all-cash budget. If they feel like you're both in this together, they'll be more willing to comply. You might have to make a few sacrifices along the way with your cards not available, sure. But if it helps condition your partner to spend and save smarter, forgoing the treat-yo'-self impulse buys you're used to will be worth it. (See also: How to Put Your Spouse on a Budget Without Ruining Your Marriage)

4. Brainstorm actionable ways they can start chipping away at their debt

Sit down together and come up with ideas about how your partner can start paying down their debt faster. That may involve asking for a raise at work; picking up a part-time job; working a few side gigs, like driving for a ride-sharing service and pet sitting; selling off unwanted or unused valuables; downsizing their lifestyle (maybe it's time to move in together so both of you can save?); and canceling all frivolous monthly expenses, like subscription services and memberships. (See also: 5-Day Debt Reduction Plan: Pay It Off)

5. Schedule autopays on pay days

Help your partner set up auto-payments that coincide with their paydays so the money goes straight from their checking account to their debt accounts, leaving them little time to start a spending spree before handling their financial responsibilities. (See also: 5 Ways to Automate Your Finances)

If your partner doesn't like the idea of auto-paying bills, maybe they could get on board with a regular money meeting where you both sit down each week or month to discuss your budget and bills and make payments in each other's presence. It's a way to keep each other accountable, build trust, and establish good money behaviors. Either of these options will make sure the bills are getting paid on time.

6. Discuss secured credit card options

If your partner's credit score is weak, you can help improve it by encouraging them to open a secured credit card. Secured cards are fairly easy for anyone to get because the risk to the bank is low. That's because the cardholder puts down a deposit that's typically the same size as the credit limit (which will be low to begin with). If the cardholder defaults on the payments, the bank keeps their deposit.

Secured cards are great for building credit because your payment activity is reported to the credit bureaus, just like any other credit card. "After demonstrating consistent payment history, your credit score will steadily improve," says certified financial adviser Lou Haverty. "You could consider applying for a regular credit card when your score is in the high 600 to low 700 range."

I took my boyfriend to the bank to get a secured card after he moved in with me because I wanted him to start rebuilding his weak (but not necessarily bad) credit. This was an important step for us to take early on because I want him to have decent credit if we decide to buy a house together a few years down the road. Sometimes that's how long it takes, so there's no time like the present to start working the system. (See also: The Best Secured Cards)

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This article is from Mikey Rox of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

4 Ways Couples Can Tackle Money Goals Together

Denise Hill — Wed, 02 May 2018 09:00:08 +0000

The "relationship goals" meme revolves around the idea that — at least in the world of social media — your relationship is envied by singles and mediocre couples everywhere. And whether you realize it or not, a big part of having a successful marriage and reaching that "goals" status is figuring out the financial aspect of your relationship.

Money itself isn't a homewrecker. It's other issues — like communicating about money, your relationship with it, and your values associated with it — that cause problems. Establishing a strong money management system within your marriage can be tricky. Here are a few things you and your spouse can do to set and achieve financial goals as a couple.

Establish financial core values

Like it or not, your spending habits directly reflect your values. You say you want to save and get out of debt, yet you eat out five nights a week and upgrade to the latest gadget as soon as it hits the market, despite the cost. And while you may feel that lack of discipline is to blame — and it is to some degree — the truth is you don't value saving enough to actually do it.

As a couple, you should sit down and write out the core values that will govern your lives together. Most of these values may not directly relate to money, but they all relate indirectly. For example, if you value open and honest communication, that should trickle down to your finances. You have to commit to communicating openly and honestly about spending habits, earnings, debts, etc. And you shouldn't "hide" money from one another.

Be honest with your spouse and yourself when establishing your value system. Some things sound nice, but they may not be a part of your value system. And that's OK. If your spouse values something — such as saving — that you don't, be flexible and compromise a bit. The same is true if you have a "spender" spouse who values spending money on entertainment. You've got to give a little. You value what you value. There shouldn't be shame or judgment attached to it. The key is finding balance and learning how to get your spending habits to accurately reflect your value system. (See also: 8 Things I Learned About Money After Getting Married)

Have joint financial goals

The second thing you and your spouse should do is establish financial goals together. An easy way to do this is to look at your life goals — long- and short-term. Align your finances with those goals.

As a couple, what do you want to accomplish? Do you want to retire early? Live a debt-free lifestyle? Have a small army of children? Travel the world? Care for aging parents? Start a business? Go on a second honeymoon? Once you've established your life goals, your money goals will emerge naturally. You and your spouse just have to fill in the details.

How will you save to afford that Jamaican getaway? Will you get side gigs, cut back, or follow some other plan for saving? The key here is to align your financial goals with your life goals. And then work diligently to achieve them. (See also: The 7 Worst Money Mistakes Married People Make)

Assign money management roles

After you've established your core values and set some financial goals, it's time to address the details of handling your money. A great way to relieve tension and help ease the financial power struggle is to assign money management roles within your marriage.

One of the best things about marriage is that you have a teammate. In most marriages, one spouse enjoys certain activities, while the other spouse doesn't. One may be a cleaner and the other one loves to cook. One loves yard work and the other is a decorator. One may be a planner and the other one likes to live spontaneously. The point here is to make the most of each other's strengths and preferences.

Assigning roles and tag-teaming your finances is a great way to make each other feel valued and quickly accomplish your money goals. If you are a shopper and your spouse loves to budget, allow them to manipulate the numbers while you make it work in the grocery store. Both tasks are equally important. Shopping — which is different from just buying stuff — is an underrated skill. Budgeting, saving, and shrewd shopping are the trifecta of good financial stewardship and will accelerate your journey to achieving your financial goals. (See also: 3 Simple Ways to Split Bills With Your Spouse)

Have at least one joint account

Having a joint bank account is more intimate than sex for some couples. It's a big step and the ultimate sign of trust. It puts you in a place of vulnerability. And being that vulnerable can be tough.

The key is to take baby steps toward your goal of sharing the same account. It begins in your own mind. Examine fears, perceptions, and past experiences that have left you skittish in this area. See what you can do to talk yourself into being open to the idea.

Once you're open to the idea, it's time to engage in honest communication about it. It can be a very difficult subject, but you have to have the conversation.

Once you've heard each other's fears and misgivings, you can move forward and establish ground rules and procedures. You could create an account together just to pay bills or strictly for saving. See how that goes and move forward from there. There is no one-size approach to mixing love and money, but you do have to be open-minded and at least give your partner an opportunity to earn your financial trust.

Sharing an account can do wonders for your marriage and help you reach your financial goals much quicker. When done correctly, it creates an atmosphere of transparency and accountability. It also promotes the team concept.

If you've established your core values, established long- and short-term financial goals, and have clear roles, making the step to sharing an account will be much easier. Again, this is a difficult bridge to cross for a lot of couples. Remain patient with yourself and with your spouse. And do what is best for your marriage and situation. (See also: 6 Things You Should Know About Joint Checking Accounts)

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This article is from Denise Hill of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

5 Money Mistakes Couples Who Live Together Might Make After a Breakup

Emily Guy Birken — Fri, 06 Oct 2017 08:00:07 +0000

Neil Sedaka made a massive understatement when he sang, "Breaking up is hard to do." Of course, Sedaka was referring to the heartbreak that comes from calling it quits with your significant other, but that is not the only tough aspect of ending a relationship. Breakups can also be financially costly for the partners as they figure out how to move on, especially if they've been living together.

While married couples can rely on the rules spelled out by divorce laws to protect themselves financially, unmarried couples don't have the same luxury. It is up to you to protect yourself when your live-in relationship goes south.

Here are the common financial mistakes you might make post-breakup — and how to avoid them.

1. Forgetting your financial responsibilities while you recover

The easiest mistake to make after a heartbreak is to ignore the important tasks while you recover. While you are busy watching Dirty Dancing on an endless loop and eating your feelings, you might not notice that your bills are piling up. Creditors don't care that your heart is shattered. They expect to be paid on time, no matter how you are feeling.

Setting up billing alerts can help you to keep your finances in order even while you are in the middle of your heartbreak. Sign up for text message or email alerts so you don't have to rely on your memory to stay on top of your finances. This will ensure that your broken heart doesn't also lead to a destroyed credit rating.

2. Not agreeing on how to sell the house you bought together

You bought the house together when you assumed the relationship was forever — and now you are broken up. If you did not draw up a joint house ownership agreement at the time of the home purchase, it could be difficult for you and your ex to determine a fair division of the home. This can be particularly difficult if one partner believes he or she owns a larger share of the home after contributing money to the down payment or labor toward home renovation or maintenance.

This kind of disagreement can result in long, drawn-out legal fights, so it's in your best interests to compromise with your ex. Assign a dollar figure to each partner's contributions, including things like the down payment, mortgage payments, labor, and other improvements. This will help you better understand each partner's stake in the house.

Once you have come to an agreement on that, one partner can buy out the other's interest in the home, or you can sell the house to a third party and split the proceeds.

It is generally cheaper for one partner to buy out the other, since you will avoid closing costs and other costs associated with a market sale. However, there are further complications to expect if you buy out your partner, such as deciding on a fair price, figuring out if the selling partner's name will need to remain on the mortgage until the buying partner qualifies for a new mortgage, and transferring the title.

3. Forgetting to pay the bills your ex took care of

Every couple has a different system for handling shared expenses. Whether you split every bill down the middle or you each took care of different bills, it's important to make sure you are aware of which accounts your ex took care of. If you find yourself unable to access a shared utility bill because your former sweetheart still has the passwords, you could risk anything from having the utility turned off to potentially losing your good credit rating if the account is in your name.

This is why you need to keep an eye on all shared expenses with your live-in lover, including passwords, contact information, and a tally of who pays for which services. If you find yourself broken up and without that information, it's better to have a chilly conversation with your ex to get the important details than to let your finances take the hit.

4. Not removing your ex's name from shared accounts

Sharing accounts is a natural extension of living together. You might have shared credit cards, utilities, or even a bank account from when you were living under the same roof.

But neglecting to remove your ex from these shared accounts can potentially put you at risk. Even if you're certain your old partner isn't the sort of person to exact financial revenge on you, it's better to take your ex's name off any shared accounts and change the passwords. It wouldn't be the first time that someone shows his or her true colors after a breakup.

5. Fighting over shared items

You bought the dining room table, the computer, and the Xbox together, and you can't decide who gets what. And then there's Roscoe the dog, who neither of you can imagine living without. How do you determine who gets custody of what in your split?

Under ideal circumstances, you and your ex will be able to decide who gets which shared items based on who bought or most uses the item. If your ex is the one who hosts all the dinner parties and you are the one who is up walking Roscoe every morning at 6 a.m., it should be obvious which item should go with which partner. Of course, it's not always so easy, and sometimes you end up fighting over your things.

If you can't stop arguing about who gets what, consider taking the issue to mediation. In this process, you and your ex go to a neutral third party who will help you hammer out the details of who gets what.

In really tough cases, court proceedings can be a last resort to help you solve the question of which items belong to which partner.

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This article is from Emily Guy Birken of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

How to Put Your Spouse on a Budget Without Ruining Your Marriage

Ashley Eneriz — Tue, 09 Aug 2016 09:00:09 +0000

The quickest way to sour a marriage is to nag your spouse about money and try to control every cent they spend. However, keeping mum about your finances can lead you and your spouse into a lot of debt or overall poor finances. Here are ways to get your spouse on a budget, without ruining your marriage.

Counseling Is Okay!

Many couples make the mistake in thinking that marriage counseling is only for marriages that are in trouble. However, counseling can be a helpful tool even when your marriage is healthy. Having a mediator help you navigate financial woes can even be desirable, so that both you and your spouse feel like they are heard.

To seek out counseling for your finances within marriage, you can talk with a financial adviser that has your best interest in mind, a marriage and family therapist, a pastor, or even an older couple who you consider wise and financially stable. It might seem embarrassing to reach out for help, but it could be the wisest step to keeping your marriage and finances strong.

Set Up Budget Dates

Just as you would set up regular date nights, set up monthly budget dates. Treat your spouse to their favorite coffee drink and discuss the numbers for the month, as well as goals for the next month.

Budget dates should not be a time where you point the finger. It should be a time for mutual discussion and growth. Depending on which financial area your spouse is in charge of, ask for their feedback. For example, if your spouse does the grocery shopping, did they feel like they had enough money that month or was it too tight? If your spouse is requesting more money for the grocery budget, you can decide together what to cut to accommodate.

Sometimes it is a good idea to invite your children to these meetings, especially if they are older than 10. Kids need to see the "why" behind the reasons they can't go to camp all summer long or get everything they want. Also, allowing your kids see and experience how you budget successfully only sets them up for budgeting success later on.

Find What Inspires Them

Sometimes it can be hard to scrimp and sacrifice just for the sake of saving money. We all need a purpose to have the motivation to work at something. Whether it's for the dream vacation or just finally being able to live debt-free, find the goals that both of you want to achieve and set the budget that will make it happen. Show that if you both tighten up your spending and stay the course, the reward will be waiting at the finish line.

Keep Things Fun

Find ways to lighten things up and make staying on budget fun, so it doesn't get tedious or simply boring. You don't have to wait until you've saved enough for the dream vacation to enjoy a reward for your hard work. Add milestones along the way that allow the two of you to celebrate. Turn it into a game to see who can find the best deals or other challenges that keep both of you interested. Don't forget about creative ways to make extra money, too. Perhaps you two can do something together that will earn extra cash.

Practical Tips to Get Your Spouse on a Budget

So far, the marriage budgeting tips have been about the mentality behind savings. Once you get your spouse on board with your budget, then use these practical tips to stay successful.

Budget for you and your spouse to have "mad money" each month. This can be $25 or $500, depending on your budget. However, this money can be spent however your spouse wants. This allows both of you to spend on yourselves without guilt.
Use an easy-to-use budgeting app that connects to your accounts and syncs with each of your phones. Encourage your spouse to look at it and track spending daily.
Have savings taken out automatically. If you wait until the end of the month to put money into savings, you might find you end up short each month. Make savings a priority or take advantage of debit cards that round up purchases and deposit the extra into your savings account.
Stop using credit cards if they are too hard to control. Taking them away for a few months can help you get back on track.

Separate Accounts

Separate accounts can be useful for managing expenses and ensuring there's no opportunity to overdraw for a budget. If you split the financial responsibilities of a household, it makes sense to manage your own accounts for your assigned budgets. Just make sure there's accountability and transparency.

Marriage is hard, and budgeting is just as difficult. Put them both together, and you could have a recipe for disaster. It's important to be open and honest so that you don't end up in a financial disaster.

How do you and your spouse stay on a budget?

This article is from Ashley Eneriz of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

5 Money Moves to Make the Moment You Decide to Get Married

Emily Guy Birken — Mon, 18 Jul 2016 10:30:12 +0000

There is nothing more romantic than the giddy days after you ask your sweetheart to marry you. But now is also the perfect time to start preparing for one of the most important aspects of a successful marriage: money.

Before you groan that bringing money into the marriage equation is going to be the death of romance, remember that money problems are cited as one of the top reasons for divorce, just behind infidelity and communication issues. If promising fidelity and good communication aren't romance-killers, then preparing financially shouldn't be one, either. (See also: 8 Signs You're Committing Financial Infidelity)

Here are the top five money moves you and your betrothed should make the moment you decide to get married:

1. Share Your Money Backgrounds

Just as you and your fiancé should know about each other's health, family, romantic, and work backgrounds, it's important that you share financial backgrounds with each other. This starts with the obvious, such as outstanding debts and current assets. It's not possible to move forward financially as a couple if you don't already know where you are — and keeping financial secrets from each other is an emotionally dangerous way to begin a marriage.

But understanding each other's money background also includes knowing how you each think and feel about money. The way you view money is generally unconscious and tied to how you feel about everything from relationships to success. It's a good idea to recognize the way you and your spouse-to-be differ in those unconscious beliefs. In particular, start by answering the following questions, suggested by Terri Orbuch, marriage and family therapist and author of 5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great:

How did your parents deal with money growing up?
What did money mean to you (and your parents) when you were growing up?
How have you dealt with money in previous relationships?

Your answers can both illuminate attitudes you may not realize you carried, and help you understand where to expect (and prepare for) potential financial friction in your marriage.

2. Start a Wedding Fund

A wedding is a joyous event, but the finances can create some complications. This dynamic can get even more pronounced when the extended family is paying for some portion of the wedding.

To minimize this friction, create a wedding fund, and transfer money to it regularly.

This will help you create the financial freedom necessary to say no to those who attach strings to wedding money.

In addition, it's easier to keep a saving habit than it is to start one. So once you're home from the honeymoon, you can just change the name of your wedding fund to your house fund (or start sending the money to your retirement accounts) and keep the regular saving habit in place.

3. Set Financial Ground Rules

There are few couples in the world who aren't driven a little crazy by each other's financial habits. For instance, my husband tends to splurge on himself with large purchases about once or twice a year, whereas I tend to make smaller purchases for myself two to three times a month. Even though he is spending several hundred dollars on a video game system and I am spending $15 here and $20 there on books or manicures, the amount we each spend is pretty equal. But when we first got married, each one of us thought the other was being frivolous with money.

The thing is, neither one of us was wrong (even though we each took turns trying to prove the other one was completely misguided, which worked about as well as you could expect). We just had different expectations for fun money.

What helped was for us to set up financial ground rules. We each have a certain amount of splurge money that is ours alone. As long as we are spending from that splurge money and not dipping into shared funds, then we can splurge on whatever we like.

Financial ground rules allow you to both feel comfortable within the framework of your finances. You might also set rules on spending thresholds over which you have to discuss issues before spending the money, or how you might use joint accounts.

4. Think About Worst-Case Scenarios

Marriage is a common time for people to acquire or update their life insurance and wills. These are important to have in place in order to protect yourself and your spouse in case life takes a turn you don't expect. Whether you don't yet have life insurance or a will, or you need to change your beneficiary to your spouse. Taking the time to make sure these documents are thoroughly completed, updated, and signed can give you both some peace of mind.

But there are other scenarios you might want to prepare for. Getting adequate renter's or homeowner's insurance is always a great idea. It's also worth talking with your spouse-to-be about a prenuptial agreement. Unless you're both hollering "We want prenup!" such conversations can be pretty difficult to broach. But the issues you would hammer out in a prenuptial are important to discuss before you get married, even if you are not couching them in terms of what would happen if you divorce. According to Mandi Woodruff, writing for Business Insider, there are typically five pillars to every prenuptial:

"How to handle the income each partner makes before marriage, how to handle your prior assets (businesses, homes, etc.) and liabilities (such as student loans), division of property acquired during the marriage, your retirement plans, and how you'll handle spousal support."

Discussing these issues in terms of both an estate plan and a prenuptial agreement is an important part of planning the financial side of your marriage together.

5. Adopt a Team Mentality

One of the best ways to build a strong financial foundation for your marriage is to adopt a team mentality for your money. It can be very easy to see money as "yours" and "mine," particularly if you have each been out on your own for a while. But keeping your money separate in your mind can be the first step toward bean counting and money fights. This is especially true if you have varying income levels or different money priorities.

Getting on the same team financially means seeing money as something you share — which means that you also share your decisions about money.

There are many ways to adopt a team mentality, from mingling all funds into a joint checking account to setting up a yours-mine-and-ours system. But the important thing is to recognize that you are in the same financial boat and to treat the majority of your money as shared.

Marriage and money go hand-in-hand, and taking the time before you wed to discuss finance is an investment in your long and happy married life.

What money moves did you make to prepare for marriage?

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This article is from Emily Guy Birken of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

A Beginner’s Guide to Frugal Living

Kentin Waits — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 11:36:17 +0000

I don’t do frugal living perfectly. There are times (usually around 8:00 a.m. on a Monday) when I cannot be stopped from my single-minded march toward Starbucks. At other times, I willfully disregard everything I know about paying retail and (albeit begrudgingly) fork over $75 for a pair of jeans. Still, I consider myself a pretty frugal guy. The broad brushstrokes of my life are characterized by financial decisions that are well-considered and based on clear financial goals.

If you’re new to frugal living, fear not. Most of us are still learning, and we can all be tempted to veer off track at times. For the newbies out there, here are seven principles to keep in mind as you enter the ranks of the frugal — it’s a sort of beginner’s guide that we’ve all had to learn (and often, relearn). (See also: The Two Biggest Mistakes People Make When Starting to Live Frugally)

1. Pace Yourself

Adopting a simpler and more frugal lifestyle can take a bit of practice. Embrace it by degrees. Diving in and cutting your monthly budget by 50% all at once will only be a shock to your system and leave the entire family feeling pinched and resentful. It takes time to phase out unnecessary expenses and gradually redirect your resources to align with your goals.

2. Understand Your Goals

Saving money in and of itself may be a worthy enough goal. After all, we all know we’ll need it — we just may not yet know when or why. But a smarter, more motivating approach is to understand specifically why you’re saving. Is it for an earlier and more comfortable retirement? To start your own business? To finally pay off the mortgage? To just sleep better at night? Having a “vision” for your financial life will help drive your frugal choices.

3. Get on the Same Page

For couples or families, no financial decision is made in a vacuum. Make sure your significant other is as committed to reinventing your financial life as you are. Reach a common goal or set of goals and understand what changes and sacrifices are needed from each person. Encourage each other and redirect each other when necessary.

4. Sacrifice — Selectively

Living a frugal lifestyle doesn’t mean saying “no” to everything. Rather, successful frugality means understanding your priorities so that the “yeses” are aligned with your priorities. It’s still okay to indulge from time-to-time, and it’s still okay to splurge because those moments are balanced by an overall money management style that is driven by clear boundaries. Feel like a lunch out on a Friday? Go for it. You can because you’ve brown-bagged it every other day of the week.

5. Don’t Over-Budget

The idea of planning, creating, and sticking to a budget gets a lot of airtime. But categorizing and budgeting every dollar that comes in the door might not be the best strategy. This approach can sometimes give frugality a bad name — it fosters the idea that frugal living means constant number-crunching and long sleepless nights hunched over a calculator. A far simpler approach is to simply pay yourself first and live off what’s left. Determine an assertive savings rate (subject to change as your skill level increases) and have that money funneled into a savings account, retirement account, or money market. The money that’s remaining will be stretched and redistributed as-needed to cover expenses — often without hours and hours of conscious effort.

6. Make Mistakes

Living a more conscious financial life is a lot like dieting. You’ll have good days, and you’ll have those chocolate cupcake slip-up days. Don’t let the little bumps and short-comings along the way derail you. Understand that mistakes and missteps are part of the learning process. They will fade away as your skill level grows and as frugality becomes second nature.

7. Chart and Reward Success

Adults need gold stars too. The most successfully frugal people I know monitor how they’re doing from month-to-month and from year-to-year. They become motivated by successes like paying off credit cards, paying down mortgages, and watching their bank account balances grow. The rush of seeing their efforts pay off has replaced the high they used to get from spending mindlessly and acquiring more stuff. Financial milestones acknowledged and celebrated as the truly special occasions they are.

There you have it — the seven principles that will lead you to a more frugal lifestyle. More importantly, these ideas will help make frugality a permanent part of your life, instead of something you dive in and out of as your fortunes change. Embrace the success of it. Embrace the failures. Embrace the road that gets you where you want to go.

This article is from Kentin Waits of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

12 Frugal Compromises

Meg Favreau — Tue, 06 Sep 2011 10:24:19 +0000

When we talk about frugality, it can be easy to get into an "all or nothing" mentality. Our two options are to eat a big meal out or cook at home. To have a lot of stuff or pare down all of our possessions to the very basics. But the reality is that there are a lot of savings compromises that can be made — frugal things you can do that, while they may not save you as much money as other efforts, might also save you time, make you happier, or make your life easier. Here are 12 frugal compromises to consider. (See also: How to Agree Without Compromise)

1. Buy Part of Your Meal Already Prepared

If you're running short on time, buy part of your meal already prepared and cook the rest. Rotisserie chickens are especially popular for this, but also consider things like side salads, bread, dessert, or even a pizza that you could pair with a salad.

2. Hire Moving Helpers

One way that I've come to define adulthood is owning furniture that I cannot conceivably move on my own. But instead of booking movers for my most recent move, I simply rented a U-Haul and hired moving helpers for two hours to load and unload the items I could not carry myself. I saved at least $150 over hiring movers (maybe more — the estimates I received were in the very broad range of $350 to $900!), and I didn't have to worry about being unable to rally strong friends ot help with the heaviest items.

3. Meet Somewhere Cheap for Dinner

Going out to eat doesn't need to be a fancy affair. Meet at a diner, sandwich shop, or somewhere else that's not too expensive.

4. Buy New Accessories

Add pizazz to your wardrobe with tights, a brightly colored belt, chunky necklace, or other inexpensive statement accessories.

5. Drink Cheap Beer...or Just One Nice Beverage

Personally, I go back and forth on cheap beer — I'm not above (and, especially on hot days, legitimately enjoy) beers like PBR and Corona. But I also appreciate a well-crafted cocktail. The trick when ordering a fancy drink is to keep it to just one.

6. Hire a Cleaner Once a Month

Save time on house cleaning by hiring a house cleaner to do a deep clean once a month. You'll only need to do the more surface-level, day-to-day cleaning.

7. Don't Take the Car...Sometimes

All of the "take public transit" yammering can get old if you need to have your car for work, family, or other reasons. But you don't have to take your car all the time. Save on gas, parking, and wear and tear by carpooling, taking public transit, walking, or biking.

8. Get Takeout Instead of Delivery

When you get food delivered, you should give the driver a full tip (seriously...please tip the driver). But if you pick up takeout yourself, all you need to pay for is the food, plus maybe a buck or two.

9. Rearrange the Furniture and Buy One New Thing

Give a room in your house new life by rearranging the furniture and buying one new thing — art, a rug, a lamp, a slipcover, or even a small piece of furniture — to tie the new scheme together.

10. Have a Coffee Treat Day

By now, most of us have heard about the "latte factor" — the idea that small savings, like making coffee at home, can really add up. But you don't need to do it every day. Choose a coffee treat day for yourself when you'll get a coffee from the coffee shop — whether it's to ease yourself into the workweek on Monday or treat yourself for making it through on Friday.

11. Trim Your Own Bangs

If you have the skills to fully cut your own hair, by all means do it. (I cut my own hair for several years, although it left me for a bit with a style that could only be worn one way and could occasionally be described as "proto-mullet.") But even if you're a klutz with scissors, it's probably within your power to give your bangs a trim, extending the time between haircuts.

12. Use Disposables Alongside Reusables

Doing all of your cleaning with paper towels or all of your food storage in one-time-use bags is just wasteful. But sometimes those tools are helpful, which is why I fully believe that disposable zipper-lock bags can live in harmony with your use-again Tupperware, just as paper towels have their time and place in conjunction with rags.

What are your favorite frugal compromises?

This article is from Meg Favreau of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

How to Agree without Compromise

Julie Rains — Fri, 18 Jun 2010 12:00:04 +0000

June is a popular month for weddings. During this time, many couples will probably hear that compromise is the key to a healthy relationship. I disagree.

When my husband and I got married more than 25 years ago, we talked about compromise. We didn’t actually compromise, but we talked about what the word meant and mostly, I talked about why I believed that compromise was, very often, a lousy idea.

I tend to take things literally and many of the dictionary definitions aren’t promising in terms of personal and relationship well-being (see com·pro·mise from the American Heritage Dictionary):

To expose or make liable to danger, suspicion, or disrepute
To reduce in quality, value, or degree; weaken or lower
To impair by disease or injury
To settle by mutual concessions

“To settle by mutual concessions” is, I hope, what most people are thinking of when they expound the benefits of compromise, though I weigh in the negative connotations. Reaching an agreement by meeting halfway isn’t always possible or advisable.

Taking turns is one tactic for compromising. Sure, if one person wants to have Italian for dinner and the other wants Chinese, you can cook your own meals separately, arrange take-out and eat at home, or you could eat Chinese tonight and get Italian next time. But this method can be disastrous when circumstances change (as they will) and whoever should have the next turn doesn’t get to choose.

And, what’s an appropriate compromise if:

She wants to live in New York but he wants to stay in LA. Do you choose Chicago?
He wants to start a family; she doesn’t want children. Do you babysit your nieces and nephews on weekends? Do you become foster parents?
She thinks that putting money into a surefire (translation: risky) investment is the perfect solution to money problems but he disagrees. Do you put 50% in the investment and 50% in a savings account?

Maybe, I’m just bad at finding mutual concessions. But sometimes doing the right thing doesn’t mean each person gets a half-win, half-lose solution.

Before making a commitment, some issues ought to be discussed. If one person never wants children, then the other needs to have this information to make a decision about whether to continue the relationship. The idea is to consider and express what’s truly important to you, not find a way to control your partner.

Look beyond superficial solutions. Drill down to the core of the problem. Discover motivations. Talk about your reasoning. Tell childhood dreams and lifelong insecurities. Once spoken, fears may seem unwarranted; dreams, now undesirable. One partner may finally understand the other’s angst surrounding certain issues and reverse direction. You may learn that there's not enough money to pay the mortgage, and decide to find a smaller home and sell one of your cars, rather than hoping that an investment could mean a big payoff.

Explore alternatives that address underlying problems. Professional contacts that seem impossible to keep intact on a long distance basis after moving across the country could be preserved through frequent travel and face-to-face visits.

Consider the impact of decisions on the well-being of you as a couple, which may or may not be the sum total of each individual’s happiness.

Agree immediately, or table the discussion for later, or have a series of discussions. Find the path that leads to wherever you decide you want and need to go.

Compromise can be a quick-and-easy conflict-solving technique. But it can also be a shortcut that doesn't lead to a better relationship, assuring that noone gets what he (or she) wants, allowing deeper problems to simmer, and stalling or preventing in-depth discussions of hopes, priorities, needs. For the long haul, you’ll need more than compromise in your relationship-building toolbox.

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This article is from Julie Rains of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread: