politeness http://www.wisebread.com/taxonomy/term/18401/all en-US 5 Ways Good Manners Make You Wealthier http://www.wisebread.com/5-ways-good-manners-make-you-wealthier <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/5-ways-good-manners-make-you-wealthier" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://wisebread.killeracesmedia.netdna-cdn.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/iStock_000045065236_Largew.jpg" alt="her good manners make her wealthier" title="" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="250" height="140" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p>Manners maketh the man. They're one of those things in life that cost you nothing, but can bring you great benefits &mdash; like respect. Or a smile from a stranger. And, in some cases, money. Here's how manners can lead you to a wealthier life. (See also: <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/12-lessons-in-manners-from-around-the-world?ref=seealso">12 Lessons in Manners From Around the World</a>)</p> <h2>1. They Can Get You Hired</h2> <p>Good manners can help you score a great job. Politeness is a sign of professionalism, which is something every employer wants from their workers. Of course, manners won't compensate for a lack of job qualifications or a negative personal reference. But they can give you that boost you may need to clinch the gig. Likewise, a lack of manners can oust you from the running.</p> <p>According to Tom Keene, editor-at-large at Bloomberg Television and Radio, <a href="https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/20130319181847-205519992-lady-mary-would-you-please-pass-the-salt-and-pepper?goback=%2Empd2_*1_*1_*1_%2F20130319181847*5205519992*5lady*5mary*5would*5you*5please*5pass*5the*5salt*5and*5pepper&amp;trk=prof-post">illiteracy in the table manners</a> department can quickly make a job interview go south. &quot;Memo to all seeking gainful employment: Nothing kills the wine-and-dine interview like not knowing where the knife goes after you cut into the expense account New York strip steak,&quot; writes Keene, who has interviewed his fair share of job candidates. &quot;I have personally seen too many qualified and unfortunate people that will never get ahead because, for whatever reason, they never learned the basics of fork, fork, knife, spoon, spoon.&quot;</p> <h2>2. They Can Help You Move Up the Ladder</h2> <p>If you're after a raise or promotion, don't discount manners as a means of getting you there. All told, 85% of respondents in a recent survey from the staffing firm Accountemps said being <a href="https://www.roberthalf.com/accountemps/blog/top-5-workplace-etiquette-breaches-in-an-open-office-space-infographic">courteous to co-workers</a> has an impact on a person's career prospects. On the flipside, just 14% of participants said that having poor manners at work has no influence on an employee's career success. The study is based on surveys completed by more than 450 employees ages 18 years and older who worked in office culture in the U.S.</p> <p>&quot;Time constraints and external pressures aren't excuses for bad behavior,&quot; says Max Messmer, chairman of Accountemps. &quot;While it takes more than just good manners to rise through the ranks, displaying professional courtesy will only help your career.&quot; Among the biggest work etiquette offenses: Using a speakerphone or talking loudly on the phone, loitering or talking around a colleague's desk, eating foods that have strong odors, keeping a messy or cluttered workspace, and leaving the phone ringer on loud.</p> <h2>3. They Can Help You Succeed at Networking</h2> <p>When you receive a person's business card at an industry mixer, do you take the time to send them a polite email the next day noting that it was great to meet them? Do you take the time to learn the names of the people at the mixer so that you can properly greet them should you encounter them again in the future?</p> <p>These sorts of manners are a step beyond &quot;please&quot; and &quot;thank you.&quot; They take time, consideration, a good memory, and a little forward thinking. But folks who practice these next-level manners, otherwise known as polished social skills, will get ahead in their careers more times than not. That's because they know how to bridge frivolous meet-and-greets into meaningful connections. After all, you never know who might be in a position to help your career in the future.</p> <h2>4. They Can Increase Your Sales</h2> <p>If you work in sales, you likely already know that being kind, polite, and understanding with your customers increases the chances that you will earn their future business &mdash; regardless of what it is that you're selling. If you own a business or work on commission, practicing politeness with customers quite literally translates to more money in your pocket. At the very least, good manners will keep you from being labeled by your customers and co-workers as boorish.</p> <h2>5. They Can Solidify Friendships That Bring You Success</h2> <p>Friends are scientifically proven to make you more successful. Specifically, developing and maintaining friendships with positive, like-minded people. It's these folks who share your drive and goals who can best help you narrow in on your dreams. Now, here's where manners come in: Research shows that saying &quot;thank you&quot; helps people to build and sustain friendships. Truly, minding your manners can make a big difference in the quality of the friends you keep, and your overall success.</p> <p><em>What other manners make you wealthier? Let us know in the comments!</em></p> <br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">This article is from <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/brittany-lyte">Brittany Lyte</a> of <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/5-ways-good-manners-make-you-wealthier">Wise Bread</a>, an award-winning personal finance and <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/credit-cards">credit card comparison</a> website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:</div><div class="view view-similarterms view-id-similarterms view-display-id-block_2 view-dom-id-3"> <div class="view-content"> <div class="item-list"> <ul> <li class="views-row views-row-1 views-row-odd views-row-first"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/8-old-school-manners-we-want-back">8 Old School Manners We Want Back</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-2 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/10-basic-manners-you-must-teach-your-kids">10 Basic Manners You Must Teach Your Kids</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-3 views-row-odd"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/18-things-people-with-good-social-skills-never-do">18 Things People With Good Social Skills Never Do</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-4 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/3-supposed-etiquette-faux-pas-that-actually-make-you-look-good">3 Supposed Etiquette Faux Pas That Actually Make You Look Good</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-5 views-row-odd views-row-last"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/5-money-truths-the-rich-live-by-and-you-should-too">5 Money Truths the Rich Live By (and You Should Too)</a></span> </div> </li> </ul> </div> </div> </div> </div><br/></br> Personal Finance Personal Development etiquette get rich manners politeness saving money wealth Fri, 05 Feb 2016 12:00:03 +0000 Brittany Lyte 1649809 at http://www.wisebread.com 8 Old School Manners We Want Back http://www.wisebread.com/8-old-school-manners-we-want-back <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/8-old-school-manners-we-want-back" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://wisebread.killeracesmedia.netdna-cdn.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/bad_date_000015888248.jpg" alt="Woman wishing her date had old school manners" title="" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="250" height="140" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p>Do you groan when you think about manners? Do you remember your cotillion or your mother telling you to chew with your mouth closed? I get it.</p> <p>But the thing is, <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/10-basic-manners-you-must-teach-your-kids">manners were important</a> to people for a reason. They were based on common courtesies that people wanted to see reflected throughout society. In some cases, when we lost a particular set of manners, we lost the courtesy. And if we can reclaim those manners, we will reclaim the courtesy.</p> <p>Don't worry! I'm not going to go all Emily Post on you (though you get extra points if you don't have to Google her!). But I am going to suggest a fews simple ways we can go about treating each other better. If we can reclaim some of these manners, we'll be happier both as individuals and as a culture.</p> <h2>1. Making Eye Contact</h2> <p>Let me be the first to tell you that I am terrible at making and maintaining eye contact. It makes me nervous, and I'm highly visually distractible, so anything that moves draws my eye. But it's these very reasons that have moved me to focus on making eye contact more often.</p> <p>Looking someone in the eyes tells them that they are important. It tells them that they have your full and complete attention. In this age where so many people are distracted by cell phones, where we text in the middle of meals with friends and take calls in the middle of meetings, stopping and taking the care to make eye contact can change things. People matter. We should let them know.</p> <h2>2. Not Staring</h2> <p>This may seem like it opposes the previous point, so let me explain. Eye contact involves some sort of exchange. In order to look someone in the eyes, they must also be looking into your eyes (or else you end up looking at their forehead). But staring usually involves looking at someone when they are not returning that look.</p> <p>Watching people can be interesting and fun, and I don't think there's anything wrong with that. But there's no need to stare, to watch someone in a way that is overly intense or invasive: it is rude and potentially hurtful. Instead of staring, say hi or offer a smile, then mind your own business.</p> <h2>3. Remembering &quot;Please&quot; and &quot;Thank You&quot;</h2> <p>These words have been nearly deleted from the vocabularies of almost everyone who does not work in customer service. But they shouldn't just be words that we say to give a particular professional impression.</p> <p>Saying &quot;please&quot; and &quot;thank you&quot; isn't just polite &mdash; it can change the ways we think. When we say &quot;please,&quot; it can help us remember that we are asking someone to go out of their way for us. And when we say &quot;thank you,&quot; it can spark actual gratitude in us, can remind us that we have something to be grateful for even in the middle of a day that is mundane or difficult.</p> <p>And these words remind the people we're speaking to that we appreciate them, that they have value to us, and that we honor their presence.</p> <h2>4. Making Conversation</h2> <p>By &quot;making conversation,&quot; I don't mean making small talk. It used to be that learning how to carry on a conversation was considered good manners. This means learning how to ask good, appropriate questions of people you're just meeting or of acquaintances, and how to answer questions, too.</p> <p>We have lost this art. Today, we seem to engage in small talk or we want to go deep. However, it's hard to go deep without some sort of foundation, and making conversation can provide this foundation for the relationships we crave. So, next time you ask someone what they do for a living, follow up by asking them how they got into the field, or why they chose that career, or what their favorite part of the job is.</p> <h2>5. Writing Thank You Notes</h2> <p>I feel like I hear a lot about thank you notes when manners come up, and that can get old really, really fast. But the truth is that a handwritten thank you note expresses more than gratitude.</p> <p>Think about the last one of these that you got and how it made you feel. Taking the time to write out your gratitude says that you see something of the heart behind the gift or action you're expressing gratefulness for, and that you recognize the love behind the gift.</p> <h2>6. Remembering to RSVP</h2> <p>If someone asks you to RSVP to an event, do it. Even if you really don't know if you'll be able to come, let the organizer know that. They will appreciate the fact that you valued them and their invitation enough to let you know.</p> <p>When you RSVP, you honor the fact that someone values you enough to invite you to a special event. Even if you can't go, your response acknowledges the relationship between you and says that you value it.</p> <h2>7. Holding Doors Open</h2> <p>This is not just a call for men to hold doors for women. It's a call for all of us to open our eyes to the world around us, to the other people in our midst, and to help them when they need it.</p> <p>I can't tell you how many times I've been grateful for someone holding a door for me when I've been balancing a screaming toddler, a shopping cart, my purse, and a diaper bag. It's particularly awesome when I don't even have to struggle first, when someone sees that I'm going to need help and jumps in.</p> <p>This simple action has changed my day before, and I've become intentional in trying to notice and change a day for other people. No one wants to struggle with a door, to hold up a bunch of people and create a bottleneck. So notice, and help them out.</p> <h2>8. Making Proper Introductions</h2> <p>I think we all know the awkwardness of finding ourselves in a group conversation where we don't know everyone. I don't think we go into a situation intending to <em>not </em>introduce someone, but we do it all the time. It ends up being disrespectful to almost everyone involved.</p> <p>If you don't have time to prepare an introduction, simply introduce people by name and by their relationship with you. If you do have time to prepare, focus on how people might connect and mention these things in your introduction. No matter how you introduce people, though, they will feel valued and honored that you made the effort.</p> <p><em>Are manners important to you? Which ones are you intentional about incorporating into your life? </em></p> <br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">This article is from <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/sarah-winfrey">Sarah Winfrey</a> of <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/8-old-school-manners-we-want-back">Wise Bread</a>, an award-winning personal finance and <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/credit-cards">credit card comparison</a> website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:</div><div class="view view-similarterms view-id-similarterms view-display-id-block_2 view-dom-id-4"> <div class="view-content"> <div class="item-list"> <ul> <li class="views-row views-row-1 views-row-odd views-row-first"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/5-ways-good-manners-make-you-wealthier">5 Ways Good Manners Make You Wealthier</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-2 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/10-basic-manners-you-must-teach-your-kids">10 Basic Manners You Must Teach Your Kids</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-3 views-row-odd"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/18-things-people-with-good-social-skills-never-do">18 Things People With Good Social Skills Never Do</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-4 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/3-supposed-etiquette-faux-pas-that-actually-make-you-look-good">3 Supposed Etiquette Faux Pas That Actually Make You Look Good</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-5 views-row-odd views-row-last"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/12-ways-youre-driving-your-coworkers-insane">12 Ways You&#039;re Driving Your Coworkers Insane</a></span> </div> </li> </ul> </div> </div> </div> </div><br/></br> Personal Development courtesy etiquette manners politeness Wed, 17 Jun 2015 21:00:28 +0000 Sarah Winfrey 1454505 at http://www.wisebread.com 8 Rules of Etiquette We Wish Were Still Around Today http://www.wisebread.com/8-rules-of-etiquette-we-wish-were-still-around-today <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/8-rules-of-etiquette-we-wish-were-still-around-today" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://wisebread.killeracesmedia.netdna-cdn.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/friends_at_dinner_000025807764.jpg" alt="Friends using rules of etiquette that we wish were still around today" title="" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="250" height="140" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p>In our age of casual living, is etiquette dead? Have mobile communication, 24/7 schedules, and fast food dining killed the very last vestiges of graciousness and <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/3-supposed-etiquette-faux-pas-that-actually-make-you-look-good">good manners</a>? Maybe so. Here are eight rules of etiquette that are quickly fading into history.</p> <h2>1. Bringing a Host or Hostess Gift</h2> <p>When invited to a dinner party, it's polite to bring a token of appreciation for the host or hostess. But the rare few who still follow this fading rule of good etiquette get hung up on how much to spend. Don't worry about price; the real value is in the gesture. A modest bouquet of flowers, a pound of great coffee, a small box of high-quality chocolate, or a bottle of wine are perfectly acceptable options.</p> <h2>2. Digging in Before the Host</h2> <p>Good form dictates that no one should begin to eat until every guest has been seated, served, and the host (or cook) has taken the first bite. The latter part of this rule may only be bent if the host expressly gives permission. Since most of us now eat in front of the TV, mealtime is often a free-for-all. Still, keep this little nugget of <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/reclaiming-etiquette-dining-basics-for-young-professionals">basic dining etiquette</a> handy for business or formal occasions.</p> <h2>3. Using Salt and Pepper Properly</h2> <p>There are two simple rules about these most common of condiments. First, it's impolite to add salt or pepper to your food before you've tasted it (the offensive suggestion here is that you expect the food to be bland). Second, when a fellow diner asks you to pass the salt or the pepper, good etiquette requires that both be passed together.</p> <h2>4. Signaling When You've Finished a Meal</h2> <p>At a restaurant or catered event, diners used to communicate to wait staff using their utensils. Though the rules are quickly becoming lost to a more genteel time, well-trained servers still know them. Placing the knife and fork together and parallel at the eleven o'clock position (fork tines up) signals you've finished your meal. Laying the knife on the right side the plate and the fork on the left (tines up) indicates you're just taking a break.</p> <h2>5. Greeting a New Couple</h2> <p>Here's something to remember the next time you're invited to a wedding: It's proper to say &quot;congratulations&quot; to the new groom, but not the bride. Congratulating her implies she's won something (the groom). Instead, &quot;best wishes&quot; is the proper sentiment for a new bride. Not sure if you can keep the rules straight? Choose the safer, universal option and simply offer best wishes to the new couple.</p> <h2>6. Writing Thank-You Notes</h2> <p>It might be difficult to imagine in our hyper-informal world, but writing a thank-you note after receiving a gift used to be a reflex. Birthday gifts and holiday gifts each required a short but sincere hand-written thank you and both young men and young women had reams of stationery at the ready for just such occasions. For parents who want to their kids to stand out for all the right reasons, reviving the tradition of the hand-written thank-you note is a sure-fire way to do it. (See also: <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/10-rules-of-etiquette-everyone-should-know-and-follow?ref=seealso">10 Rules of Etiquette Everyone Should Know</a>).</p> <h2>7. Giving Up Your Bus or Subway Seat</h2> <p>Granted this chivalrous move can still be spotted in the wild from time to time, but giving up your bus or subway seat for a pregnant, elderly, or similarly vulnerable person was once the standard. Sadly, seeing someone follow this basic rule of etiquette today is just rare enough to get noticed.</p> <h2>8. Walking in Front of Someone</h2> <p>When I was a student in fifth grade, the rules of etiquette were drilled into my head by an old-school and overzealous teacher. Back then, we were taught that when passing in front someone's line of vision (say, a fellow shopper who's browsing a particular shelf in a grocery store) it's good manners to say &quot;excuse me&quot; or &quot;pardon me.&quot; Rather than a request for the person to move, it's simply an acknowledgement that you've temporarily obscured the shopper's view.</p> <p>Trust me, you can stick a fork in this one &mdash; it's done. Just the other day I offered my polite &quot;excuse me&quot; in a local department store purely out of habit and was met with a quick and scornful &quot;you're excused!&quot; from a twenty-something shopper. Ahh, the times they are a-changin'.</p> <p><em>What fading of rules of etiquette do you still follow? Which ones do you miss the most?</em></p> <br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">This article is from <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/kentin-waits">Kentin Waits</a> of <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/8-rules-of-etiquette-we-wish-were-still-around-today">Wise Bread</a>, an award-winning personal finance and <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/credit-cards">credit card comparison</a> website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:</div><div class="view view-similarterms view-id-similarterms view-display-id-block_2 view-dom-id-5"> <div class="view-content"> <div class="item-list"> <ul> <li class="views-row views-row-1 views-row-odd views-row-first"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/5-ways-good-manners-make-you-wealthier">5 Ways Good Manners Make You Wealthier</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-2 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/12-lessons-in-manners-from-around-the-world">12 Lessons in Manners From Around the World</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-3 views-row-odd"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/8-old-school-manners-we-want-back">8 Old School Manners We Want Back</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-4 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/10-rules-of-etiquette-everyone-should-know-and-follow">10 Rules of Etiquette Everyone Should Know (and Follow!)</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-5 views-row-odd views-row-last"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/10-small-gestures-that-go-a-long-way-at-work">10 Small Gestures That Go a Long Way at Work</a></span> </div> </li> </ul> </div> </div> </div> </div><br/></br> Life Hacks customs etiquette manners politeness Fri, 29 May 2015 15:00:10 +0000 Kentin Waits 1433840 at http://www.wisebread.com 10 Rules of Etiquette Everyone Should Know (and Follow!) http://www.wisebread.com/10-rules-of-etiquette-everyone-should-know-and-follow <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/10-rules-of-etiquette-everyone-should-know-and-follow" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://wisebread.killeracesmedia.netdna-cdn.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/phone-187115979.jpg" alt="man using phone in theater" title="man using phone in theater" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="250" height="167" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p>&quot;It is axiomatic that as we mature and grow in years and experience we must be able to meet more demanding social situations with confidence and ease.&quot; &mdash; Amy Vanderbilt, <em><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0385413424/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=390957&amp;creativeASIN=0385413424&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;tag=wisbre03-20">The Amy Vanderbilt Complete Book of Etiquette</a></em></p> <p>Using proper etiquette does not mean you are stuffy or old-fashioned. To me, having manners means you are a respectful person and considerate of others. Use of etiquette can convey respect of other cultures, traditions, or religions. (See also: <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/nyc-basic-tips-and-etiquette?ref=seealso">New York City Basic Tips and Etiquette</a>)</p> <p>Below are 10 rules of etiquette &mdash; some old, some new &mdash; that I feel are important and have been too often ignored lately.</p> <h2>1. The RSVP</h2> <p>RSVP is an acronym of the French phrase, &quot;Respondez s&#39;il vous plait,&quot; or &quot;Respond, if you please.&quot;</p> <p>I have been guilty of not quickly responding to RSVPs, myself. Why? I think they are a little anxiety-provoking. Often, the events are formal, and you wonder if you can afford to go because you might need to dress up or pay for travel. Another issue with RSVPs is that they are sometimes so far in advance, and it can be difficult to commit to something in the future. However, if you have ever thrown a formal or large party, you really <em>do</em> need to know how many guests will be attending. Details have to be nailed down, like the amount of food or liquor to buy, and having enough chairs and tables. Do your host or hostess a favor and let them know, by the date indicated on the invitation, if you&#39;re a &quot;yes&quot; or a &quot;no.&quot; (See also: <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/how-to-shave-5000-off-your-wedding-expenses?ref=seealso">How to Save $5000 on Your Wedding</a>)</p> <h2>2. Place Settings</h2> <p>Which fork do I use? We have all been there...seated at a formal table, and thought, &quot;Omigosh, which fork am I supposed to use?&quot; Relax, there is an easy way to remember: Work from the outside in.</p> <p>That shorter fork is for your salad. Start there. With each new course, just work your way in. When you are done, simply place your utensils side by side at an angle on your plate (fork tines facing up, knife blade facing the center of the plate), which is a signal to the waiter that you are done.</p> <p>One more bit of table advice: Wait until your hostess is seated before you start eating. When she picks up her fork, so can you. If you are a parent, even if your own style is very informal, please teach your children how to handle this situation, so that when they encounter all that cutlery someday, they are not unnerved. (See also: <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/11-simple-rules-of-excellent-houseguest-etiquette?ref=seealso">11 Rules of Excellent Houseguest Etiquette</a>)</p> <h2>3. Thank-You Notes</h2> <p>The thank-you note is essential in both everyday life as well as in business correspondence. If someone has gone through the trouble of buying you a gift, has helped you, or simply done something nice, the very least you can do is to say thank you. Even small children can draw pictures, and later write very charming notes. I have a few on my refrigerator. (See also: <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/25-ways-to-say-thanks?ref=seealso">20+ Ways to Say Thanks</a>)</p> <p>I am not a fan of the pre-printed notes and simply signing your name. Those just do not convey much effort or gratitude. If you are stuck about what to say, my trick is to first draft the note on the computer or a piece of paper until I get it right. Contrary to popular belief, brides and grooms, you do not have a year to send out thank-you notes. There may have been a time for that (pony express?) but in a modern world, there is no reason to not get them done within a few months of the wedding.</p> <h2>4. Handshakes</h2> <p>Have you ever had a handshake that made you think, &quot;Yuck!&quot;? I personally am offended when someone just lays their hand in mine like a dead fish. My husband points out the other end of the spectrum &mdash; the &quot;bone-crusher,&quot; which must be meant to prove a manly point. There is actually a correct way to do a <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0YCKKHk_xGc">handshake</a> (good video, there). (See also: <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/13-ways-to-make-a-good-first-impression-at-your-next-job-interview?ref=seealso">How to Make a Good First Impression at a Job Interview</a>)</p> <h2>5. Hygiene Belongs at Home</h2> <p>Recently, we were at a restaurant, and the woman in back of us began flossing her teeth. Can we all agree that this is unacceptable? Flossing should be done at home, or at least in a bathroom. It is not fun for people around you to watch you get stuff out of your teeth. Adding to the &quot;hygiene belongs at home&quot; category:</p> <ul> <li>Clipping your nails (I once sat in the front row of a Moscow Symphony concert and a man behind me clipped his nails. I thought the cellist might stab him with her bow.)<br /> &nbsp;</li> <li>Brushing or combing your hair, especially while in a restaurant (hair flies around!).<br /> &nbsp;</li> <li>Brushing your teeth in a public bathroom (if you must, please clean the sink after you do so).</li> </ul> <h2>6. Punctuality</h2> <p>I imagine that mental health professionals could give me a better understanding of why some people are constantly late for meetings, dinners, movies, etc. To me, though, it&#39;s just rude. In a business setting, being late to a meeting says,&quot;My time is more important than yours.&quot; I also don&#39;t think dropping off your pen and paper, then announcing that you need to run to the bathroom or get coffee, &quot;counts&quot; as being on time.</p> <p>My own solution, in the office setting, is to give it five minutes &mdash; tops &mdash; and then I start the meeting. If it is not a meeting I have called, same thing &mdash; I wait five minutes, and then leave. Some may find that drastic, but it works. In social settings, late people cause their friends to miss movies, dinner reservations, oven timers, etc. If you are one of those &quot;I&#39;m always late&quot; people, you may wish to examine your reasons for lateness, before you stop getting invitations. (See also: <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/how-to-always-be-on-time">How to Be on Time</a>)</p> <h2>7. Introductions</h2> <p>This is another rule of etiquette that seems to cause social anxiety. Emily Post has a very <a href="http://www.emilypost.com/everyday-manners/important-manners-for-every-day/512-makingintroductions">practical method for introductions</a>: Speak to the person you wish to honor first. What I find often, because I have an unusual first name, is that people simply have forgotten what my name is. If you sense that is a problem, just introduce yourself when there is a break in the conversation, and then shake hands. That will take stress off of the person who cannot remember if you are Maria, Martha, Mary, or Marla (so nice of you to remember!). (See also: <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/5-tips-for-remembering-names?ref=seealso">Tips for Remembering Names</a>)</p> <h2>8. Cell Phones</h2> <p>My husband says I am beating a dead horse here, but I don&#39;t give up easily.</p> <ul> <li>If you are in a public line (post office, grocery store, DMV) and everyone around you now knows your business, you are speaking too loudly.<br /> &nbsp;</li> <li>In a restaurant, cells should be silenced. If you receive an important call, you should excuse yourself and go outside to take the call.<br /> &nbsp;</li> <li>If we are talking, and you are texting, I do not have your full attention.<br /> &nbsp;</li> <li>In a movie theater, cells should be silenced, or turned off, if possible. Even the screen can light up in the dark, which is distracting.<br /> &nbsp;</li> <li>It&#39;s dangerous to talk on a cell or text while driving.<br /> &nbsp;</li> <li>In a business meeting, unless you are a medical professional who might be urgently needed, I do not see the need for you to be texting.</li> </ul> <h2>9. Deaths</h2> <p>When someone dies, their families are in emotional pain. The disturbing trend I have seen is that those losses are not acknowledged, because people just don&#39;t know what to do or say. Please make an effort to reach out, in one way or another, because it is hurtful to the bereaved if you ignore their loss. (See also: <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/how-to-express-condolences-without-saying-something-stupid?ref=seealso">How to Express Condolences</a>)</p> <p>Start with reading the obituary in the paper, or from the funeral home, because they may describe the decedent&#39;s wishes. For instance, &quot;In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to X charity&quot; is very common. Secondly, send a letter, or a card, at the very minimum. If you can attend the funeral or memorial, it will be appreciated by the family. I also advocate taking food to the family. Sometimes, the bereaved just doesn&#39;t feel up to cooking for a while. They may also have visitors, and if you take a deli platter or a cake, they will have something to offer folks while they visit. Lastly, don&#39;t forget to include these bereaved friends or coworkers weeks or months after their loss. A widow may appreciate a dinner invitation; a friend or co-worker might enjoy seeing a movie with you.</p> <h2>10. Everyday, Common Consideration</h2> <p>When shopping, do you leave your basket in the middle of the aisle, so others cannot pass? Do you take up more than one space when you park? Why are you honking your horn? Did you interrupt somebody while they are speaking? While these might seem like small annoyances, what is at their core is using respect and consideration for others.</p> <p><em>What rules of etiquette do you think are falling by the wayside?</em></p> <br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">This article is from <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/marla-walters">Marla Walters</a> of <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/10-rules-of-etiquette-everyone-should-know-and-follow">Wise Bread</a>, an award-winning personal finance and <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/credit-cards">credit card comparison</a> website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:</div><div class="view view-similarterms view-id-similarterms view-display-id-block_2 view-dom-id-5"> <div class="view-content"> <div class="item-list"> <ul> <li class="views-row views-row-1 views-row-odd views-row-first"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/5-ways-good-manners-make-you-wealthier">5 Ways Good Manners Make You Wealthier</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-2 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/13-things-people-with-good-table-manners-never-do">13 Things People With Good Table Manners Never Do</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-3 views-row-odd"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/10-small-gestures-that-go-a-long-way-at-work">10 Small Gestures That Go a Long Way at Work</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-4 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/the-10-offensive-phrases-no-one-is-telling-you-about">The 10 Offensive Phrases No One Is Telling You About</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-5 views-row-odd views-row-last"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/18-things-people-with-good-social-skills-never-do">18 Things People With Good Social Skills Never Do</a></span> </div> </li> </ul> </div> </div> </div> </div><br/></br> General Tips behavior etiquette politeness Tue, 03 Dec 2013 11:00:07 +0000 Marla Walters 1098852 at http://www.wisebread.com