going out

7 Ways Grown-Ups Can Make New Friends Without Going Broke

Paul Michael — Thu, 14 Jun 2018 08:00:31 +0000

When you're a kid, making friends is easy. Walk up to another kid and say "Hey, wanna be my best friend?" and boom … you're inseparable. But as an adult, it's not as simple. Try that and you seem like a weirdo. You can obviously make friends through work, but what about outside of your employer? Cooking classes, bars, and yoga classes are certainly places to meet people who share your interests, but those activities can burn through your budget in no time. Luckily, there are plenty of ways to make friends as a grown-up that won't drain your bank account.

1. Use a friend-finder app

There are plenty of dating apps out there, but what if you want to meet people for friendship only? Well, there are apps for that, too. Bumble, for example, is not just a dating app. You can tweak the settings to specifically be matched with people who only want to find a friend. You can have the app show you whatever gender you want, distance, and other factors, and then swipe like you would when looking for dates. Other apps that can facilitate this include Peanut (for moms looking for other moms to connect with), Skout, MeetMe, and even MeetMyDog (a way to meet fellow dog owners).

2. Find local meetings with people who share your interests

No doubt you have some kind of interests or hobbies outside of work (and if you don't, you're working way too hard). The internet has made it possible to find people who love the same things you love, regardless of how unusual or niche your passions may be. A site like MeetUp.com lists hundreds of different social groups in your area, covering everything from mountain biking and veganism, to brewing your own beers, blogging, and cosplaying. Do a search for your interest, check out the group, and attend with an open mind. (See also: 50 Hobbies You Can Start for $0)

3. Become a volunteer

Volunteering is not just a great way to meet people, it's also an excellent way to improve your self-esteem and give back to those in need. There are all kinds of opportunities, including helping out at animal shelters, feeding the homeless, or building homes for low-income families. Or you could join volunteer organization TogetherWise. It's a project that brings people together to bring a smile to foster kids around the country. You can decorate duffel bags and blankets, build bikes and skateboards, and create special birthday boxes. As you work together, you will naturally start talking to people, and maybe make a friend or two. (See also: 18 Free Ways to Be a Better Person)

4. Connect with more people on social media

Are you on Facebook? How about Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, or even YouTube? If you aren't, well, you should definitely consider one of these platforms as a way to make friends. And if you already embrace these sites, go big. Look at friends you already have, and see who they're friends with. Start following people who genuinely interest you on Twitter or Instagram. You could find yourself becoming best friends with someone who lives just around the corner … or halfway around the world.

5. Become more active in your neighborhood

Long ago, everyone knew everyone in the neighborhood. These days, people tend to keep to themselves, and modern technology certainly hasn't helped that cause. But it doesn't have to stop you from making an effort to meet the people who live around you. You could start by organizing a neighborhood event, like a community garage sale or a scavenger hunt. Maybe block off your cul-de-sac and have a neighborhood potluck. A communication forum like Nextdoor can really help, as it uses your address to connect you with people who also live in your area. You can also get creative with posting flyers on community boards.

6. Drop hints with your co-workers and family

People know people. Your co-workers and family members have friends of their own. Maybe they know people whom you would get along with. All you have to do is drop a few subtle hints. Tell them that you'd love to get out more, but don't know many people. Ask if they know anyone interested in your hobbies. Lay a foundation so that the wheels start turning, and they realize that their friend knows someone who is just as much into kite-flying or indoor soccer as you are. You don't even have to be subtle. Just say, "Anyone know someone great who I'd get along with?" It never hurts to ask.

7. Hang out in bookstores and libraries

The library is obviously the cheaper option here, but bookstores are also a great place to meet people with bookish interests. If you're really into books about crime, strike up a conversation with someone browsing that section. It can be as simple as, "Can you recommend a good crime thriller?" or "What do you think of this author?" Most libraries and bookstores have a coffee and snack section now, so if you do hit it off, you can find a place to sit and chat. (See also: 7 Modern Reasons to Visit Your Local Library Today)

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This article is from Paul Michael of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

The High Cost of Modern Love

Andrea Cannon — Mon, 13 Feb 2017 10:00:16 +0000

Being in love is now more expensive than ever. In fact, Americans spend an average of $20,000 in their lifetime on dates. With dinner and a movie costing about $90, you could easily go broke if you date frequently.

We've covered some of the costs below so you can get a better idea of what modern love can cost. However, these are only national averages. The amount you pay for entertainment and impressing your date will vary largely depending on where you live.

Movie Ticket

Average Price: $8.51 per ticket

The worst part is that after spending money on movie tickets, you have to worry about buying popcorn, soda, candy, and other overpriced treats. For instance, if you decided to order one large popcorn, one large candy, and two small soft drinks, you could expect to spend around $22.25, in addition to the price of the movie tickets. Instead of doing dinner and a movie out, consider cooking at home and taking advantage of Netflix.

Dining Out

Average Price: $12.17–$88.00 per person

A 2015 study found that the cost of eating at a chain restaurant ranges from $12.17 to $88.00 per person, but it depends on where (and what) you eat. It also depends on where you live. For instance, Zagat found that diners in NYC spend an average of $48.44 per person when eating out, which is higher than the national average.

As an alternative, consider happy hour deals, taking advantage of restaurant week or local food festivals, or impressing your date with a home-cooked meal. You can either show off your cooking skills or cook together as a bonding experience.

Concert Tickets

Average Price: $46.69 per person

Concert tickets all depend on who you are going to see and which tickets you get (unobstructed or obstructed view). For instance, impressing your date with tickets to a Taylor Swift concert will set you back $110.15 a ticket.

Broadway Show

Average Price: $105.68 a ticket

Now, this is only appropriate if you are really trying to impress your date. With an average ticket price of $105.68, Broadway shows should be saved for very special occasions. The price will depend on what you go to see. For instance, a ticket to Hamilton could cost $300, while a ticket to Jitney could be around $55.

Baby Sitter

Average Price: $10 an hour

If you have a child at home, you can expect to spend a hefty amount on a baby sitter. The average cost of a baby sitter, per hour, in New York City is $15+, so the price will vary depending on where you live, who you hire, and the agreement you set with the sitter. As an alternative, consider asking another parent to baby-sit your child for a night at no charge, and tell them you will return the favor later by baby-sitting their child for free.

Gifts

Average Price: $92.50 per occasion

Once you find that special someone, you'll need to start worrying about the costs of gifts on special occasions. The average American spends only $25 per year on flowers, but can expect to spend an average of $146.84 on Valentine's Day gifts. Gifts for holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, and other special occasions can take a hefty chunk out of your budget.

According to Huffington Post, Americans spend an average of $92.50 per special occasion on their new love. They also found that people spend an additional $21 on gifts for each additional year of their relationship.

Dating Sites

Average Price: $0–$60 per month

Match.com is $41.99 per month, eHarmony.com is $60 per month, True.com is $50 per month, Tinder is free (unless you sign up for premium services, which range from $2.99–$34.99), and Bumble is free (again, unless you sign up for premium services, which range from $2.99–$35.99). You can save a lot of money by signing up for longer periods of time, like six or 12 months. Many dating sites, like Match.com, also offer free options with limited capabilities.

When it comes to dating sites and apps, there are distinct differences in the quality of the service and potential suitors, so cost shouldn't be your only factor. For instance, PlentyOfFish and OKCupid are free, but they don't offer the same matching abilities or photo quality as a service like Match or eHarmony. The people on PlentyOfFish also aren't usually as devoted to finding that special someone for life, as compared to someone on Match or eHarmony.

As an alternative, try meeting someone in real life. After all, only 5% of Americans in a marriage or committed relationship actually met their significant other online. Studies continue to show that couples most often meet each other through work, friends in common, or in social settings, so just put yourself out there more.

The Cost of "Ghosting"

Average Price: Your love life?

If you decide that the cost of dating sites is just too much, consider the cost to your love life if you disappear from the app completely. If you start "ghosting," it can end very badly. In fact, it often leads to even more confrontation than if you were just honest from the start. Take advantage of the sites and apps you subscribe to, while you still can.

On the other end of the spectrum, if you take your special someone on a horrible date, you risk getting "ghosted" yourself. Getting ignored can really take a toll on one's confidence and lead to hurt feelings, so observe the golden rule and avoid ghosting. Just remember, a good date doesn't have to be an expensive one. Take them somewhere meaningful, dress and act the part, and find ways to impress your date without going broke.

Alternative Date Ideas

Ask your date what they would like to do. Going to the movies and dinner can be fun, but most people have other ideas for a better date night. Here are some ideas to get you thinking.

Go for a hike or walk through your area. Show your date some of your favorite areas.
Get active with canoeing, miniature golfing, ice skating, rock climbing, paddle boating, paddle boarding, biking…the list goes on and on. Find out what your date is interested in and take advantage. It's cheaper, more meaningful, and can help you burn some calories.
Visit a museum during the day and time when it is cheapest. Most museums offer free admission on a particular day of the week. You can observe some local culture and will have plenty to talk about with your date.
Instead of going out for dinner, consider going out for coffee instead. After all, why spend something like $90 on a first date, when you're not even sure that they're worth dating long-term? With a coffee date, you can get to know each other in a more comfortable setting. A picnic is also ultraromantic, affordable, and memorable.
Go dancing at a bar or take dance classes, which start as low as $12 per person.
Go for a free wine or liquor tasting in your area.
Take advantage of outdoor movie events (like free movies in the park).
Take advantage of free local tours or free tour apps.
Find a Groupon date that you both want to take advantage of. Give your date some options so they'll be able to pick what interests them most.

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This article is from Andrea Cannon of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

6 Terrible Money Situations You Need to Stop Getting Yourself Into

Sarah Winfrey — Tue, 02 Aug 2016 09:00:11 +0000

When it comes to money, I know I can be my own best friend and my own worst enemy. Most of the time, I'm frugal, intentional, careful, and deliberate with my money. But, every once in awhile, it's like I forget all of those principles. Maybe I want something badly, even though I can't afford it. Or I am tired and it's easier to spend than to think first.

Now, I've never gone totally off the rails financially. But I can see where these acts of — let's call them what they really are — self-sabotage — undermine the principles I desire to live by.

As I've gotten older, I've gotten better at staying out of these situations, and I know you can do the same. Here are some of the places where I've gotten into trouble in the past.

1. Overspending

It's hard to live within your means. It just is. There's so much that you want, and that doesn't even take into account what you need. But overspending — spending more than you make — is a sure way to get into deep financial trouble.

Even if you don't get into debt, and some overspenders don't, you'll end up living paycheck to paycheck, juggling which bills need to be paid so that nothing gets turned off this month. That life isn't any fun at all, even though spending the money might be a blast. Besides, eventually some large expense will come up, and you'll end up in debt because you won't have the money saved to cover it.

2. Credit Card Debt

This usually comes as a result of overspending for a period of time. When you get used to spending, it starts to feel natural to just put something on your card. Do this enough times, and you'll find yourself with a bill you can't cover at the end of the month.

The problem with credit card debt is that it feels deceptive. Sure, there's interest to pay, but the minimum payment looks so small. It might take you a while, but paying it off feels entirely doable.

However, you'll end up paying forever and paying a lot in interest. And even those minimum payments can add up. Maybe you can handle one or two of them, but get three or four (or 10), and making the payments becomes a lot more financial stress than you need.

3. Not Saving for Retirement

It's easy to prioritize everything else over retirement. When you're young, retiring feels like such a long way off that it's easy to wait too long to get started. And when you're older, it's easy to spend or save for your kids rather than for yourself. Many parents panic about paying for college and end up putting their savings there rather than into their retirement accounts.

Most "real" jobs come with some sort of retirement account and, often, with a matching plan from the employer. Take full advantage of this as soon as you are eligible. If possible, have the money deducted from your paycheck automatically, so you don't even have a choice in where it goes each month.

4. Buying Too Many Toys

This probably comes with the territory of overspending, but it seems like a specific trap that you can fall into. Many people (myself included) tend to live pretty frugally most of the time, but are willing to spend quite a bit of money on a toy. This can be something like sports equipment, a designer purse, a new car, technology, and other splurges.

I think that a lot of us live such stressful lives that we feel like we deserve something that will help us rest or, at least, make us feel better about ourselves. So we spend a lot on an item based on the idea that it will improve our lives. Even if it does actually help us de-stress, the financial impact can cause as much or more stress in the long run.

It's much better to save up for a toy, or rent one, or ask friends and family to contribute to a fund toward it for your birthday or another holiday. That way you will actually lower your overall stress levels, rather than adding to them.

5. Going Out Too Much

Sure, it's fun to get dinner and drinks with your friends. And it's probably a good idea to go to happy hour with the coworkers here and there, to forge connections and get to know people. But when you're doing it every night, those bills are going to add up.

You don't need to deprive yourself to make good decisions about when and where you spend when it comes to eating (and drinking) out. Lowering your spending can be as simple as ordering an appetizer and a beer instead of a meal and a cocktail. You can get creative, too. Some of my friends and I take turns hosting a meal along with one or two signature drinks and the overall cost is much lower than what we'd spend if we met at restaurants.

6. Spending to Save

Sure, there are times when it's worthwhile to spend a bit more on a quality product so that you don't have to buy another one anytime soon. But I've also seen this as an excuse to spend way too much. Not sure how this might apply to you?

What about when your car dies? You might legitimately need a new one. But it's a trap to believe the voices that say, "Buy a brand-new car. That way you will save, in the long run, on maintenance costs." Instead, you can buy a car off a two or three -year lease. You still get the benefits of low maintenance, but you save a lot off the initial price.

Or, maybe, you see a pair of nice new boots in the store. They're high quality, and you think to yourself, "Sure, that's a lot of money. But if I buy those, I won't have to buy boots for several years." That might be true, but before you purchase, think about how many pairs of boots you already have sitting in your closet.

Sometimes, buying quality is the way to go. But other times, it's an excuse we use to let ourselves spend more than we should.

What financial traps do you tend to fall into? How do you keep yourself from jumping into them with both feet?

This article is from Sarah Winfrey of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

How Much Should You Actually Be Spending on a Date?

Andrea Cannon — Wed, 23 Sep 2015 17:00:25 +0000

Going on a date at the end of a long week can be the perfect stress reliever. However, when you're spending half of what you're making trying to impress your date, you'll just go broke and regret every penny you spent. Fortunately, we've found some ways for you to figure out how much you should splurge this weekend — and how to get the most out of every date night opportunity.

1. Know What the Average Person Spends

Your paycheck should govern how much you can afford. Cosmopolitan found that men spend about $80 on a first date, on average. Other sources suggest that the typical person spends between $50–$100 on date night, occurring on average once a month. However, according to Match.com, 58% of women don't even want an expensive date.

2. Shell Out a Bit More on Your First Date

A first date is different than every date that follows. Spending freely on your first date is a great way to show your date that you are serious, but it doesn't mean that you need to continue spending the same amount on future dates. After all, you don't want to be too frugal on the first date, which can make you seem cheap. On the other hand, if you tend to have a lot of first dates, you may want to rein in your spending.

3. Budget for Special Occasions

Special occasions like Valentine's Day and Christmas will have higher associated price tags. If you decide to go on a date during one of these expensive holidays, you can expect to spend more. In fact, some restaurants will even offer a special holiday menu, with more expensive entrees. Plan your budget proactively if you intend on spending more lavishly on special occasions.

4. Consider Your Location

Dating in Los Angeles, New York, Boston, Washington DC, and other large cities will cost you more. This is especially the case when you factor in the cost of public transportation, tipping, and the higher cost of food and entertainment in these large cities. You will have to take into account where you live when you are coming up with a budget for the weekend.

5. Set Personal Rules

The best way to limit your spending is to set rules for yourself. For instance, you can decide that you won't spend more than $20 on a weeknight date, but can spend up to $50 on a weekend date. The only way to determine how much to spend is to take into account your personal finances, income, and what you feel comfortable spending. The last thing you want to do is run up high credit card bills just trying to impress your date.

6. Have Fun Without the Expense

A simple way to reduce your spending would simply be to limit how often you go out. However, if you budget well and take advantage of affordable (or free) dates, then you can go out much more often. Casual dates (such as lunch dates) are more affordable, allowing you to go out more often. They are also more laid back, so you can get to know your date better.

We have also found some of the best ways to impress your date for less than $20, so you can take them out whenever you have time (instead of whenever you have money):

Book a free tour;

Rent a pair of bikes;

Find a great rooftop hangout;

Go to a food, film, music, or art festival;

Research your local area on Yelp or online to find cheap, highly rated places near you;

Use Groupon, Living Social, Amazon Deals, and Yelp Deals to find deals for food, shopping, and events near you;

Take advantage of free dates, like hiking or a day at the beach;

Show off your cooking skills instead of dining out.

7. Make It About the Experience

Try not to let your feelings for your date cloud your judgment on how much you should spend. Just because they're worth a million bucks doesn't mean you should spend that. You should find a partner that is worth your time, not just your money. Then, the price tag won't seem so important.

Going for coffee and dessert won't cost you more than $20 and can set the stage for a romantic experience and healthy conversation. Remember, your date is not about a price tag; it's about the experience shared. Spending lots of money on the date isn't important. What is important is that you work to create a memorable experience for you both that will help strengthen your future relationship.

How do you determine how much you should spend on your date? Please share your thoughts in the comments!

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This article is from Andrea Cannon of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread: