job leave

How to Keep a Personal Problem From Hurting Your Career

Paul Michael — Thu, 05 Oct 2017 08:30:11 +0000

People have problems; that's just a fact of life. Most people also work for a living, and sooner or later, the two are going to collide. When a personal problem does land on your doorstep, the last thing you want to do is bring it with you to work. That can cause all sorts of additional issues, and they can compound your personal issues even more. So what do you do? How do you separate personal problems from the daily grind?

Don't talk about your problems to anyone at work

It may seem like the most obvious piece of advice, but it is the one most commonly ignored.

All too often this is the way it goes: A trusted friend tries to help you out by telling a manager why you may be off your game. From there, it becomes an issue that several people know about. And before long, half the people in the company are aware of it. It doesn't matter who you think you can trust, and what kind of confidence you swear them to, it will leak. Loose lips sink ships … and careers.

Find someone outside of work to support you

It's imperative to get emotional support at this time, and that means talking to someone completely removed from your work environment. Avoid anyone who doesn't work at your firm, but knows a lot of people that do.

This can mean going to support groups, using online forums (where you can remain anonymous but get advice), or if worst comes to worst, calling a crisis hotline such as Samaritans. Don't be afraid to ask for help, because a problem shared really is a weight lifted. Just make sure you do it in a way that cannot create another problem — namely, a career problem — on top of whatever else is troubling you.

Find helpful ways to deal with your emotions

Not talking about your problem at work can be tough, especially when people treat you poorly without knowing what you're actually going through. So, look into helpful and productive ways to deal with the emotions that can build up in the workplace.

One of the best ways to hash out emotional stress is going to the gym, especially if your office provides a workout facility on-site. Otherwise, going to the gym before and/or after work, or exercising at home, can do wonders for your emotional pressure cooker. If working out doesn't do it, find a new hobby, or really go all in on projects at work to keep yourself from thinking about your stress.

Talk to your boss about the need for flexibility and understanding

You don't have to breathe a word about the specific problem you're facing. You can simply say something like, "I'm going through a problem that's important and stressful outside of work, and need your help in managing my workload and the expectations of other departments." Your boss knows you're not a robot, and if you have been a superb employee before the problem arose, he or she will do whatever possible to help you ride out the storm.

You may be given the option to telecommute, or have some of the responsibilities lifted from you for a while. Just remember, a company and a boss can only do so much. If this drags on for months or more, the patience of those you work with will wear thin.

Consider using sick, vacation, personal, and FMLA days

If the problem is so intense that you just find it impossible to concentrate on your work, look into taking some much-needed time off. You will definitely be able to use vacation and personal days. It's possible you could also use sick time, or bring the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) to your defense. This U.S. labor law requires employers to give workers job-protected unpaid leave in the event of a qualified medical or family emergency.

While you may think it will look bad to take extended time off, it will be far worse to stay at work and put in a terrible performance. In some cases, your lack of concentration could lead to disastrous consequences. Better to be away and working things out than at work and messing things up.

Seek professional counseling

Thankfully, the stigma of seeing a licensed psychologist or psychiatrist lessens with each passing year. However, there are still people out there that avoid them at all costs out of embarrassment. Really, that should be the last concern on your mind.

You need to solve the personal problem that's weighing you down, and professional counseling can be a great help at this time. The counselor may not be able to solve that problem directly, but even just talking it through with them can open new possibilities and avenues of success. At the very least, it's a confidential source in which you can confide, and that in itself can be a huge help.

Keep a daily reminder to remain positive, calm, and professional

When you get up in the morning, along with your usual routine, add something that gets you ready to tackle the workday — both emotionally and physically. Tell yourself that this will pass. Remind yourself that you're a good person in a bad spot, and bringing that issue to work will not help your situation. Take a deep breath and say out loud, "I'm going to do a great job today, because I'm a great employee."

It may feel corny, but doing it every day before work gets you into the mindset of being a real pro. The power of positive thinking is proven, and by getting into the best state of mind and avoiding negative thoughts, you will do much better at work. As the brilliant work coach Tim Ferriss says, "If you sit down in a negative state, you will be thinking first and foremost of problems, and not solutions."

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This article is from Paul Michael of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

Taking a Work Leave? Here's How to Prepare

Ashley Marcin — Wed, 04 Jan 2017 10:30:33 +0000

You may be looking to take some time off from work to stay home with your children. Or perhaps you have a new business venture you'd like to get after.

Leaving the traditional workforce is something people do for a variety of reasons. I left my 9-to-5 a little over five years ago to stay home with my daughter. It was a big transition, both personally and professionally. I can tell you firsthand, though, that if you're smart about it — it may be one of the best moves of your life.

1. Make a Budget

If you don't already have a budget, make one — today. It's incredibly important before you take a job leave to understand how much money you have, where it's going, and how you'll deal once you don't have a steady paycheck coming in. Making a budget can be an enlightening or frightening process, but you definitely want to look before you leap into the financial unknown.

To start, write out exactly how much money will be coming in after you leave your job. Then write out how much money goes out between fixed expenses (housing, student loans, car payments, etc.) and variable expenses (groceries, entertainment, clothing, travel). Don't forget big items like health care, either. After that, you can look for opportunities to cut your budget for the big change. (See also: Build Your First Budget in Five Easy Steps)

While you're at it, try saving as much as you can and building an emergency fund. My husband and I actually spent a good part of the year before I left my job trying to live within the budget we'd need after the baby. Any money we saved in the meantime went directly into our bank account.

2. Get Introspective and Creative

Leaving your job may mean making some pretty tough sacrifices. Maybe you won't be able to buy new cars or go on vacation. Maybe you'll need to stop eating out or even downsize your home. There will likely be days when you will ask yourself: "Why am I doing this again?"

Having a long, hard talk with yourself (or several) will help you solidify the motivations for your leave. They will become stronger and stronger in your mind. Sure, you may hit some difficult or tricky times, but if you are passionate about the reason, you'll have the perseverance to continue on and figure out solutions.

If you're feeling on the fence about it all, you may want to get creative. Meet with your HR department to explore other opportunities. Maybe you could scale back to working part-time. Maybe your department offers a more flexible schedule. Or maybe there are other jobs in your community that would afford you the time you're looking to gain.

3. Practice, Practice, Practice

After chatting with HR, I discovered that the university where I used to work offered up to eight months of unpaid child care leave. Before I decided to quit my job for good, I let my boss know that I wanted to take the maximum amount of leave. During this time off, our family continued to practice what life would be like — and what our budget would be like — without my paycheck. It wasn't a totally easy transition.

For example, within the first month of my leave, our furnace died. It was the dead of winter, so we had to dip deep into the emergency fund earlier than expected. A few months after that we had a major roof leak. This is where our savings and budgeting really came into play.

In the end, we realized that we would be fine because we had planned for these types of minor disasters. I had moments of doubt, though, and I was thankful to know that I had a job waiting for me if I needed it. Find out what type of temporary leave options are available to you. A trial run is a wonderful opportunity to see if your plans will work out in real life. Think of it as a pair of training wheels.

4. Leave on Good Terms

Even if you hate your job, you don't exactly want to leave burning all your bridges in the process. Of course, you may find yourself with a boss who doesn't completely understand or support your decision. And that's okay. What you can do, though, is to ease the transition for everyone involved as much as possible. That will help you leave on the best of terms.

Give your boss plenty of notice before your leave. You may even want to, as I did, ask if you might return to your workplace in the future. Though my boss wasn't thrilled to be losing a dependable worker, he ultimately understood and respected my reasons for leaving.

I left scrupulous notes for my replacement, organized all my digital and paper files, and even offered to be available for a short while if anyone had questions. On my last day, we shook hands and I felt confident — and still do — that I could apply for future positions.

5. Keep Your Toes Dipped

When I left my job, I wasn't totally sure how long it would work out. On paper, things were looking good. In practice, well, we kept hitting some financial roadblocks. I knew I wanted to stay home with my daughter, but I also knew that bringing in some money would be helpful. Keeping my resume and skills relevant was another important thing to me.

That's when I started looking around for freelance writing work. Some of my friends were working on different gigs, so I reached out to them. Networked. I asked tons of questions and even got some leads on jobs. In the years since, I've worked at home anywhere between five and 30 hours a week. I've had a lot of situations in my life where I've needed to scale back or almost entirely from freelancing. Still, I have these jobs on my resume.

I'm keeping current. (And I'm enjoying it, too!) Even if you don't want to actually work during your time off, you can volunteer. You can absolutely include volunteer work on your resume. Experience is experience. And the great thing about volunteering is that you can often put it on your own schedule.

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This article is from Ashley Marcin of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread: