funny

6 Super-Cool Ways People Have Quit Their Jobs

Tara Struyk — Tue, 24 Mar 2015 09:00:09 +0000

When you're working at a job that you hate, sometimes there's only one antidote to cure your stress, boredom, anger, and frustration: quitting. Most of us have indulged in a few fantasies of finally walking out the door, of telling the boss what you think of her, of reclaiming your dignity, of showing that manager what you're made of, of never looking back… but unfortunately, those outrageous abdications of gainful employment are easier said than done. After all, you probably need the money. And a good reference. Dignity be damned.

Oh well. If shouting "I quit!" isn't in the cards for you right now — or ever — at least daydreaming about it can help make the day more bearable until you professionally, respectfully, resign.

Here are a few people who threw caution to the wind and quit their jobs in a spectacular fashion. In most cases, following suit is not recommended, but here's hoping that their stories help soothe your sense of indignation while you look for a better gig.

1. Emergency Job Evacuation

Maybe it was a case of the so-called "Monday blues" that tipped flight attendant Steven Slater over the edge, or maybe it was the passenger who whacked him in the head with a piece of luggage and refused to apologize. Either way, Slater's decision to finally end his 20-year career at JetBlue in 2010 happened in an instant. After arguing with the passenger — who opted to direct an expletive at Slater rather than apologize — Slater got on the airplane's PA system and directed the same obscenity at the flight's 200 airline passengers as the plane sat on the tarmac at John F. Kennedy airport. Then he activated the plane's emergency slide, grabbed two beers from the flight attendant's galley and slid down the chute. Bon voyage!

Of course, Slater was arrested at his home soon after. While he avoided jail time on charges of criminal mischief, he was forced to pay a hefty fine to JetBlue and served a year of probation. He has, however, become a minor celebrity, and now works as a commentator and observer for the aviation industry.

2. "F*** it, I Quit."

Being on live TV is stressful. You always have to be on. You always have to be at your best. You have to say the right thing. And, if you want to keep working in the industry, on-air probably isn't the best venue for quitting your job. But then, TV news reporter Charlo Greene had other aspirations.

In September, 2014, while finishing a news segment for KTVA, a local news station in Anchorage, Alaska, Greene covered a report about the Alaska Cannabis Club — a business that claimed to be the only legal medical marijuana resource in Alaska — and an impending ballot on whether to legalize recreational marijuana use in the state. That's when Green veered off script, revealing that she was the owner of the club, and was dedicating all her time and energy to campaigning for marijuana legalization. She signed off that night by dropping an F-bomb — and quitting on air.

"There comes a time in each and every one of our lives when we must choose to continue to spectate or stand up for what's right," Greene said in a video she released the following day. Some thought Greene was acting, well, high, but recreational marijuana use was legalized in Alaska in February of this year.

3. Resignation Dance Video

Not all resignations are abrupt and angry. Some disgruntled workers like to go out having a good time. In 2013, Marina Shifrin quit her job at Next Media Animation with some dramatic style by dancing around her office to Kanye West's "Gone." Shifrin posted her video — and officially announced her resignation — on YouTube, where it garnered 15 million views in a month's time. The twist is that the company Shifrin worked for specialized in making short, comedic viral videos. Shifrin's "I Quit" may have surpassed them all. The brazen stunt also helped her launch a new career as a writer and comedian.

4. Marching On Out With Fanfare

Many people dream of quitting with fanfare and marching out in triumph. In 2011, Joey DeFrancesco added a live marching band when he quit his job in room service at a hotel. Disgruntled with long hours, difficult management, and trouble forming a union, DeFrancesco enlisted the help of the What Cheer? Brigade, a 19-piece brass band for which he played trumpet. After tossing his resignation letter at his boss and announcing that he'd quit, DeFrancesco's band played boisterously as he marched out of the building — all the while recording what would become a viral video on YouTube (of course!)

5. Signing Off at the Super Bowl

Sometimes, people quit their jobs to pursue a dream of starting their own business. In 2014, Gwen Dean teamed up with GoDaddy and appeared in a Super Bowl ad where she looked squarely into the camera and said, "Hi Ted, I quit." Dean was a licensed refrigeration machine operator and Ted was her boss, who was supposedly at home watching the game. Dean's resignation made waves in the media. She's now working on her business, Puppets by Gwen, where she makes puppets and puts on shows at birthday parties, schools, and hospitals.

6. Via Op-Ed in the New York Times

A company's perceived lack of integrity can quickly undermine employee morale, but while most disgruntled workers quietly move on to other jobs, some choose to speak up. That's what Greg Smith did when he publicly resigned from his job at Goldman Sachs, where he worked as the executive director and head of the firm's United States equity derivatives business in Europe, the Middle East, and Africa. on March 14, 2012, an op-ed piece written by Smith ran in the New York Times. In it, Smith called out his employers for the "toxic and destructive" environment at the company, and for putting profit above the company's clientele.

The company later investigated his claims and worked to discredit him, saying that he was denied a big raise and promotion shortly before quitting. So was Smith a bitter employee or a brave defender of integrity? The world may never know. But it's probably safe to assume he won't ever be hired on Wall Street again.

7. A Sweet, Regretful Goodbye

Not all resignations are nasty and mean-spirited. When Chris Holmes resigned from his job for the U.K. Border Agency at Stansted Airport, it wasn't because he hated his job, his boss, or his coworkers. In fact, Holmes' resignation was borne of a positive change — the birth of his first child and his desire to pursue a career as a baker. So, Holmes served up his notice — and a slice of brilliant advertising for his new business — by announcing his resignation in buttercream and icing. Holmes said he aimed for the resignation to be good natured, and one that "left a nice taste in their mouths." Now that's a delicious way to begin a new career.

What’s the craziest way you’ve heard of someone resign?

This article is from Tara Struyk of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

My 5 Favorite Funny Christmas Gifts

Marla Walters — Fri, 31 Dec 2010 13:00:13 +0000

I got a lot of great stuff for Christmas. Some items were standouts. There were beautiful, seriously thought-out items, which I will treasure. And then there were the ones that made me laugh out loud. If you want to start buying for 2011 already, I have saved you some trouble. Get these:

A Fireplace DVD

Go ahead and laugh. Get it out of your system. I love this DVD. Even though we live in temperatures that average in the 80s, I miss having a fireplace during the holidays. There is something really cozy about sitting near the fire with a good book. That, my friends, is why the Cozy, Cracklin’ Fireplace DVD became one of my favorite gifts this year. You just pop it into your DVD player, and the logs burn down. It has hissing and crackling noises too. Mine has the option of Christmas carols or Mozart in the background, but I am happy with the snappy fire noise.

I know what you are thinking: Omigod, she is so tacky. Yes. Agreed. No contest. I read the comments about these DVDs on Amazon, though, and I am not alone in my quest for fire. Lots of people like me find you can “feel” warmth coming from the screen. If you live somewhere without a fireplace, and you long for the reassuring ambiance of a hearth fire, this is a frugal person’s dream. There is also no need to buy (or cut and split) firewood, stack firewood, check the woodpile for spiders, haul wood inside, clean up soot, or wreck your rug with hot embers. I love it.

Here is a shopping tip, though. There are an unbelievable number of different fireplace DVDs on the market. Because I had dropped a last-minute hint, my husband shopped everywhere and the only one he was able to find locally was Cozy, Crackln’ Fireplace. But with all of this warning, you have the luxury of shopping at online retailers like Amazon.com and reading descriptions, ratings, and reviews to find the best version for your special someone.

Fruitcake

Are you still one of those “I hate fruitcake” people? Give it UP! I am not talking about the kind of fruitcake that our aged neighbor pulled out of her freezer and gave to us last year ("I’m not sure where I got this, or, um, when..."). This was Harry & David fruitcake, resplendent with chunks of dried fruit and nuts. Even my husband, who previously suffered from “I hate fruitcake” syndrome, had to admit it is delicious.

The Hawaii Cook Book

Those of you who share my love of thrift stores would enjoy this book from 1965. My friend Betsy knew I would dig it. Anyone for “Fish and Yam Fritters” or “Poi Muffins”? This is a treasure, and it reminds me that I should comb more thrift stores for classic cookbooks. They make fun gifts.

Marshmallow Shooters

These are a HOT item here on the Island. Yes, we do have TV...but load up your camo-painted PVC pipe with a mini-marshmallow, pop someone in the eye, and you will soon understand why you cannot find mini-marshmallows for your baked yams around here at Christmas. You can make your own shooters or buy them online.

Farkle

After buying the neighbor boys a Yahtzee game at our local big-box retailer, my husband found a dice game with the rather bizarre name of “Farkle” (Patch Products, Inc.). I suppose that is really no odder than “Yahtzee.” Anyway, he decided we needed to learn how to Farkle. It is really fun, and I am not saying that because I just beat him 10,000 to 4,300. It is just something about the word, as in, “Ha ha, you just Farkled.” Saying it never gets old (well, yet).

There you have it, readers, my five hot tips. Get ready for 2011. Can anybody beat THIS stuff? If you can, I would love to read about it in the comments.

This article is from Marla Walters of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

Only Celebrate A Few Select Birthdays

Paul Michael — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 14:00:02 +0000

What if we suddenly stopped celebrating every single birthday in our lives, and instead concentrated on just the important ones? Would you care? Would you support it? I’ll tell you one thing…we’d all save a bunch of money.

The idea comes from one of my favorite comedians, Patton Oswalt. If you don’t know the name, you’ll certainly know the voice; he played Remy in Ratatouille. He was also Spence Olchrin in The King Of Queens, and he’s an exceptional comedian.

On his CD Werewolves And Lollipops he outlines a plan to stop the celebration of most birthdays, saying that there’s nothing special about most of them. And, he’s right. What’s so special about hitting 36 (my next birthday)? Or 42? Or even 14? They’re not landmark dates in your existence. They’re just another year.

The full list is printed below, and you can also listen to Patton (be warned, Patton uses language that is NSFW).

Birthdays you can and cannot celebrate.

1 thru 9 — YES. You’re a little kid, and kids should get to celebrate birthdays.

10 — YES. You’ve entered the double digits. Something different has happened, you get a birthday.

11-12 — NO. Nothing special about those years.

13 — YES. Now you’re a teenager, and that’s worth celebrating.

14-15 — NO. Again, nothing special here.

16 — YES. The laws have changed. Now you can drive, that’s worth celebrating.

17 — NO. What’s special about being 17? Exactly.

18 — YES. Awesome birthday. You can vote and own a gun. This is all worth celebrating (and if you’re in other countries including England, you can drink alcohol). Now that is worth a party.

19 — YES. It’s your last year as a teenager.

20 — YES. You’ve entered your twenties.

21 — YES. Awesome birthday, you’re as adult as you can get. Hit the bars.

And then…only one birthday every 10 years (30, 40, 50, 60 and so on) until you hit 90. After 90, you get a birthday every year because one law no longer applies to you!

Now, as 90 is a rare age for most of us to reach, I’d say most of us are in for 22-23 birthday celebrations in our lifetime. That’s a lot less than 70-80. And think of all the money that we wouldn’t have to spend. At Hallmark, they’d see their profits go down the toilet, but personally I wouldn’t shed a tear. Charging an average of $5 for a piece of card you read once and throw away is something of an extravagance anyway. And think of all the trees and resources we’d save!

Not only that, but once you reach the adult years, you usually don’t want for that much anyway. As a kid, you have no income. Your birthdays are what you rely on for toys, clothes, games, and candy. But as a 36 year old, I’ll be getting stuff for my birthday that I could afford anyway. I usually have to search my brain for days to come with ideas for people. And they’re the same. My dad’s birthday is in a few weeks. He had no idea what he wanted, so I bought him some DVDs. He’s probably seen them, he may even have them, and who knows if he even wants them.

Now I’m not saying we should treat the day like any other. By all means, go have a few drinks after work or take a trip to the movies. Have a good meal. But do we really need to continue spending all of this money on each other, buying junk we don’t need for people who don’t want anything, just because we’ve reached the grand old age of 27 or 43? Many people in this world would be thankful for a healthy meal and sanitary water every day, and the money we throw at each other on gifts, cards, and endless wrapping could more than pay for that.

This idea may have started as a joke, but I think it’s far from just a bit of comic relief. Think it over.

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This article is from Paul Michael of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

The Gasoline Pump "Y2K" Problem

Xin Lu — Sat, 03 May 2008 19:45:20 +0000

Here in San Mateo County, many gas stations are starting to sport prices above $4.00 per gallon. The trusty Gas and Shop down the street is still holding on to $3.93 per gallon but it seems inevitable that gas will cross that $4.00 mark. Funnily enough, some of the older gas pumps around the country in rural areas are experiencing a technical issue similar to the Y2K problem. Basically, these pumps were not designed to charge more than $4.00 a gallon.

In this article from the Seattle PI , we find a garage owner who has pumps that only charge up to $3.99 9/10. He bought them brand new in 1995 and it would cost him thousands of dollars to upgrade so for now he is informing his customers that the pump price is incorrect. The article also points out that it is illegal to operate pumps that do not display and tally the correct price, but the government understands the situation now and is giving the pump owners ample time to fix the situation.

Now you may be thinking, wow those pump makers are dumb! However, the fact is in 1995 noone expected to charge $4.00 for a gallon of gas. The average price of a gallon of gas was around $1.20 in California in 1995 and the people who made the pump probably figured their pumps would not be in service long enough for gasoline to climb to $4.00. Since the pump uses mechanical computers, adding a number is more difficult than it looks.

So the next time you drive down a dusty highway in the middle of nowhere and find one of these older pumps, make sure you find out what the real price of gas is.

This article is from Xin Lu of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

TACO TOWN and the gut-busting tributes.

Paul Michael — Thu, 10 May 2007 03:40:52 +0000

Have you guys ever seen Taco Town? C'mon, the parody of supersizing that is way too funny and agonizingly close to reality? Well, I've embedded it below for you all to catch up on, but the real reason for this post are the tribute videos that followed.

Taco Town, famous for its "taco wrapped in a taco, wrapped in a pizza, wrapped in a pancake and deep fried" was insanely funny. But to my surprise, many frugal fans out there have tried to copy this cheap and nasty meal. Who am I to say anything about clogging arteries and cholesterol levels?

First, the original...I laugh every time.

And now, the tributes...oh dear.

I wonder, are there any other tributes out there? Let us know. This is all worthy of Andrew Zimmern of Bizarre Foods fame.

Photo courtesy of Blythe_d

This article is from Paul Michael of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

And the winners are...(drum roll please)

Paul Michael — Sat, 05 May 2007 03:21:21 +0000

Hey folks. Sorry it's taken me a while to post the results of my two little competitions, I have been on a well-earned vacation. But, I am back and have spent the last hour going over all the entries from both the Speeding Ticket post and the recent Disney DVDs post.

I congratulate you all on some very clever and honest entries (although telling me you'll use a DVD as a coaster is never going to win I'm afraid, even if it was sarcasm at it's finest). So, without further ado, the winners are posted below, complete with their entries.

The Speeding Excuse

KARI - I congratulate you. I'm happy that PMS can at least come in handy. Your tiny remote-controlled car will ship soon. Enjoy.

"Whenever a male cop pulls me over, I tell him I just got my period and start gushing gory details. They usually let me off just to get me to shut up."

Pirates and Cars and t-shirts, oh my.

Lots of entries here, many worthy ones. In the end, it was a tough call but here are the results. If you didn't bag anything this time, keep popping back to Wisebread. I'm sure I'll find more stuff to give away.

CARS DVD - KENCOMER

Ken, never has a comment been as long or emotional. I hope the DVD helps ease the pain.

"I have a deep emotional need for the Disney movie.

When I was three and riding with my dad in his VW, he had to come to a sudden stop. I'm not sure how it happened because, like, I was only three, but I have an inch-long scar on my nose. My parents told me that my nose was nearly ripped off, and that the small scar on the side of my nose once went almost all of the way around. The doctor who stitched me up did a terrific job and, until I tell you that it's there, you probably won't notice it. I'm not making this up... It really happened and I have the scar to prove it.

When I was about 5, I jumped over the rim in the above-ground 30" deep pool my parents had bought us, and I kept my face from hitting the bottom by jamming my hand on a wind-up metal sea-plane. I came up and watched as my hand turned from wet with a red streak into nearly solid red from hand to elbow. Mother went a bit hysterical, then pulled herself together and took me to the hospital. Seven stitches on that one.

When I was 7 and riding my bike on the sidewalk, a neighbor came zooming out of his garage and down his steeply inclined driveway, knocking me over and cutting a deep gash in the top part of my foot. I walked home leaving a trail of bloody prints of my right foot. I was pretty calm about it and asked my dad to get me something to stop my foot from bleeding. He asked me, "Do want a band-aid?" I said, "No... I don't think we have any band-aids big enough." My grandparents were there at the time and I never saw such confusion as everybody tried to do everything at once. Fourteen stitches.

When I was 11, I went through a glass shower door, getting slashed both going in and pulling myself out. I even got another one when I sat down to recover from having been sliced and diced. I screamed bloody murder. Mother, cooking in the kitchen, sent my youngest sister to see what was wrong. I was naked and I did not want my sister to see me naked, so I stuck my arm out the door. It was sopping wet with blood and there was a large shard of glass protruding from it. My little sister went ape-**** and ran through the house, shrieking like she'd just been branded. My mother decided that she had best investigate in person. When she got there, she went white as a klansman's hood and looked like she was going to lose it. She didn't, though, and started wrapping towels around the wounds that did not have obvious pieces of glass sticking out of them. She sent the middle sister across the street to get the help of the retired Marine Colonel. He came at once--I had somehow splattered blood on her leg, so he caught the sense of urgency despite my sister's self-reported incoherence. They carried me out to the street naked. I was less mortified by the blood streaming from seven large wounds on my body than by having my nakedness paraded before the entire neighborhood and my naked butt put on the grass. He ran across the street to get his Lincoln with white leather seats. He put me in the back seat and told my mother to sit with me while he drove to the hospital. I tried to make light of the situation, saying, "I guess I'm gonna miss football practice tomorrow." My mother did not understand and asked me to repeat it. When I did, she stuck her head out the window and barfed. Some people have no sense of humor. That was 117 stitches on the outside with a large number of things stitched up on the inside. In removing the stitches on my back, the doctor (who had not done the neat, careful stitching of the others) left part of one stitch in my back. I kept complaining about the itch until my mother took me back to see a doctor at the hospital. He probed around a little, finally found the small bit of stitching and pulled it free, coated with a yucky yellow-brown layer of necrotic tissue. For some reason, I still frequently have an itch there 38 years later.

By the way, the Marine would not even let my parents pay to have his car cleaned. A real class act, he was. Pretty much every Marine I have met has been that way.

Since then, I fell down a trail at Scout camp (7 stitches), caught one of those old metal fans as it toppled (5 stitches), and blew off getting stitches in a cut on my face, leaving me with a mildly roguish scar near my eyebrow. I also have burn scars on my legs and a large, deep-puckered scar from back surgery. The scars from my vasectomy are too small to worry about, and most people don't even notice them at all. The same for the scars from having my wisdom teeth removed, although I have never had anyone ask to see those, whereas some women do want to see the vasectomy scars. Given that some women are fascinated by my vasectomy scars, I have tried the pick-up line of, "Hey... Wanna see my vasectomy scars?" It worked once, even though she'd already seen them. Some women are just fixated on testicle surgery, I guess.

So. That's why I think you should give me the Scars movie. Hopefully, when I think of the klutzy things I have done and all of the little reminders that life has written on my flesh, it will help to give me a sense of humor about it all, and not blow it out of proportion."

PIRATES DVD - CHERYL

Not only did you make me laugh, but the chance to help any woman achieve orgasm without betraying my lovely wife is one I have to jump at. May Cap'n Jack give you years of pleasure.

"I need you to give me Dead Man's Chest immediately. Do it. NOW. I have such a case of the hots for Captain Jack Sparrow, and have worn out my copy of Curse of The Black Pearl, by watching it and creating various fantasies in my mind's eye (Aye!) about the two of us in various states of pillaging and plundering our booty (booties!) together! I have worn out my fantasies with this version of the movie, and to not give me Dead Mans Chest would be depriving a 40-ish single woman, in her sexual prime, of new material and future orgasms! Perish the thought!"

Pirates t-shirts for the 'close but no dvd' category.

DEAN IN DES MOINES - Who says honesty doesn't pay?

"Why would someone enter such a drawing? Because, for the first time, I'd be happier with the runner's up prize. Heh."

CARO - Being fired sucks, I know the feeling. It's not a DVD but I hope the t-shirt gives you a smile.

"I just got 'terminated' from my government job of 2.5 years without explanation by a letter. Yes, that's right, they sent me a letter. I did not get asked in for a meeting, nor did I get a phone call -- all I got was a lousy, certified letter.

It's a sad story. I mean, c'mon, I'm a poor, underpaid, yet over-worked college student and I just got terminated. A free movie would definitely right all those wrongs, don'tcha think?"

I will be in touch with all of the winners early next week to confirm addresses and so forth. Congrats again, and well done on some great entries. The Wisebread crowd are a funny, verbally-gifted bunch.

Photo courtesy of The Stock Exchange

This article is from Paul Michael of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

Afraid, Yet Smitten - You Haven't Heard of Violent Acres Yet?

Andrea Karim — Fri, 05 Jan 2007 23:02:00 +0000

So, if you have yet to read the writings of The Terrifyingly Funny Evil Blog Queen V at Violent Acres (and you should have, since handsome studmuffin Will Chen linked her in his Top 20 Savvy Living Stories You Missed This Year), then you're in for a real treat/therapy session. Someone sent me a link to her story about How to Fight, which is, hands-down, one of my favorite blog posts ever. But more topical, at least for this site, is her three-part series on financial indepedence.

It’s about changing your perceptions, re-evaluating your wants and needs, and gaining the ability to make your own choices even if they go against the grain. A little self discovery will take you farther than any spread sheet I could show you. I guess the real question is: How bad do you want it?

V has created a good deal of controversy over her statements, and has earned herself a good number of enemies in the blogging community in a short amount of time. All kinds of claims are made about her (she's a man, she's fat, she uses technology to somehow twist her site traffic), but none of that matters to me. If someone can make me laugh out loud while my jaw drops, then they get my linking.

I'm not going to endorse or criticize her opinions, because I'm kind of afraid that she will try to cut me. So I'm just linking — but be warned, V wouldn't exactly fit in in a "positive" blog environment, so she probably won't be on our (future) blog roll. But she has some GREAT ideas about money, management, saving, and investing.

This article is from Andrea Karim of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread: