friends

7 Reasons You Shouldn't Hire a Friend for Professional Services

Mikey Rox — Wed, 13 Mar 2019 09:00:10 +0000

They say you shouldn't mix business with pleasure. Hire a friend to work for or with you and it could turn into a total nightmare. Save yourself a massive headache (and keep a friendship intact) with these reasons why someone you don't have a personal relationship with is always the best person for the job.(See also: 8 Professional Ways to Make Friends at Work)

1. You and your buddy may see eye-to-eye in friendship, but not business

You have one idea of how things should be done, but your friend has a different idea. How do you reconcile that? Sometimes you can't, and a rift in the friendship could establish itself before the project even starts. Talk your project over at length and establish expectations from the get-go to avoid this initial roadblock if you really want to hire a friend.

2. Loyalty and work ethic are two different things

You hired your friend because he or she is a good friend, and is always there when you need them. But while their loyalty is on point, their work ethic may be lacking. Halfway into the project, they might be missing deadlines because they think they can get away with it based on your bond.

Once you get a peek into that disparity, you'll regret entering into a professional arrangement. How do you tell your friend they're not living up to your expectations? It's difficult, and it could also create resentment that'll linger for the length of the project and beyond.(See also: 5 Friend Types That Can Hurt Your Finances)

3. Negotiating could cause resentment

If you're hiring a friend, you might expect a "friends and family" discount. But going into the project with that mindset will likely offend your friend from the jump. If you're not prepared to pay your friend's standard rate for services, hire someone else, preferably the pro whose services are in your price range.

4. A friend will take your criticism much harder

It's hard to take criticism from anyone, especially a friend. Likewise, you may find yourself being more critical of your friend than you would a service provider with whom you have no relationship, because you feel more comfortable being honest with your friend. Honesty is okay — you deserve to get what you pay for — but at what cost? Not the price of a friendship.

5. Playing favorites will upset other employees

Even if you're okay with giving your friend special treatment, this favoritism will not sit well will other employees or contractors. Why does your friend have different rules and expectations? Sure, you've known each other longer and perhaps your families spend time with each other outside of work, but that's not a fair position to take when everyone else is working just as hard or harder than your friend. You don't want a mutiny on your hands.

6. When money is involved, people show their true colors

There's a reason why people say the love of money is the root of all evil: It makes people, including friends, act in ways you wouldn't expect. If don't want to see the cash-hungry Hyde to your friend's Jekyll, keep financial transactions between people with whom you have no personal investment. (See also: How to Talk to Friends and Family About Money)

7. Firing a friend can destroy the relationship

If your project is going down the tubes because your friend didn't live up to your expectations, you will have to fire them, but how do you do that to a friend? You don't. You hired a friend, but you'll have to fire your ex-friend. Feelings will probably be hurt, words will be exchanged, and demands may be made. None of that bodes well for the friendship, at least not in the capacity it was before the professional relationship began.

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This article is from Mikey Rox of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

Best Money Tips: How to Stop Overspending With Friends

Amy Lu — Tue, 08 May 2018 08:00:21 +0000

Welcome to Wise Bread's Best Money Tips Roundup! Today we found articles on how to stop overspending with friends, what you need to know about crowdfunded real estate, and ways to set a realistic budget for your household.

7 Types of People Who Will Help Grow Your Career

Paul Michael — Wed, 21 Mar 2018 10:00:06 +0000

The people you meet before, and during, your career can shape what kind of professional future you will have. If you meet the right people, it could lead to success after success, and a life filled with opportunity and growth.

But who are these motivational figures? Where do you find them? And what should you be looking for? Let's uncover the people who will be instrumental in helping you forge a great career path.

1. A great boss

There are good bosses, and bad bosses. The latter won't really teach you much, other than what not to do to be successful. Good bosses, they're fine. They motivate you, know how to build a team, and won't stab you in the back. But a great boss is another story. Most of us will be lucky enough to have at least one great boss in our lifetime, and that person's influence can change the course of your career.

A great boss will take you under his or her wing and want you to succeed. They will share every tip and trick they have learned over the years, and become your biggest cheerleader. They may even train you to be their own replacement. Great bosses, like great teachers, leave their mark on you. Cherish your time with this person, and learn everything you can while they are still around.

2. Faithful friends

Like great bosses, genuine friends are few and far between. We have our go-to set of mates; the ones we like to go out with to a bar or baseball game. But the friend that you can trust with your secrets, worries, and plans for the future — that's a diamond in the rough.

A friend like this will have no problem telling you that your boss is taking advantage of you, or that you're in a dead-end job that is making you miserable. On the other hand, they could give you that push you need to ask for the raise or promotion. And after a really crappy day at work, they'll help you put things in perspective and give you a much-needed emotional crutch.

3. Professional career counselors

Now, more than ever, a career counselor can be invaluable. Industries are changing, dying, and being born at a lightning-fast pace. Careers that just 10 years ago looked promising could soon be going the way of the dinosaurs, and other industries you may never even have considered are popping up left, right, and center.

A professional career counselor cannot only help you identify these promising careers, but also give you the advice you need to climb the corporate ladder and earn a very comfortable living. There are obviously good and bad counselors out there, so do your research and check recommendations on LinkedIn. (See also: 8 Great Jobs for the Next 10 Years)

4. An alumnus

If you went to a college, university, trade school, or any other kind of learning establishment, tap into that rich source of contacts. Many of the people you met there will have gone on to get great jobs, and will have a network of people they rely upon. Not only that, but your alumni association is also an excellent resource. The services they offer go far beyond social events and newsletters. Reach out to them and you will get advice on career choices, as well as access to business prospects and friends of the alumni who are only too happy to help.

5. Your family

The support you get from your family can be invaluable. Your family sometimes knows you better than you know yourself, and they can see through some poor career choices that you may be way too close to. Never be afraid to reach out to your family for advice; even if that means mending a few bridges from some old disputes.

6. Volunteers

This can be split into two categories. First, there are the people who run volunteer organizations. From helping feed the homeless and caring for abandoned pets, to building affordable homes and caring for local parks, your state will have many ways to volunteer. Not only will you be doing good, but the people who run these organizations will have access to a network of people that may help you in your career.

There are also the volunteers themselves. You'd be amazed at the variety of professionals that donate their time. You could bump into the CEO of a local company, or the owner of a business you've always wanted to work for. At the very least, you may make a few new friends. (See also: 9 Unexpected Benefits of Volunteering)

7. A mentor

Anyone can become a mentor. It could be a boss, a work colleague, a friend, a complete stranger you meet in a bar, or even your neighbor. It's not about who they are, but what they have to offer.

Most of the time, this will be someone that has already been down the road you have chosen to travel, and can give you invaluable advice. It could also be someone from a completely different industry or background, but with an outlook and energy that gets you motivated to do better, and go further. Mentors are everywhere; you just have to be ready to answer when opportunity knocks.

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This article is from Paul Michael of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

5 Signs You're Financially Average — And How to Improve

Toni Husbands — Tue, 30 Jan 2018 09:30:08 +0000

There are plenty of average statistics that help us identify trends. The average height for women in the U.S. is 5 feet 4 inches. The average American lives to the ripe old age of 78.74 years. The average four-year-old asks 437 questions a day — OK, that's actually a myth. However, spend an afternoon with a pint-size philosopher, and that myth may be more accurate than we think.

When it comes to personal finances, aiming for average is a trend you want to avoid in most cases.

Data from the 2014 U.S. Census lists the average American salary at just north of $70,000. But the average American is living close to the edge, financially speaking. The average household debt is $132,000. The average new car loan term is 65 months. The average person between ages 55 and 64 only has around $104,000 put away for retirement. And the average American doesn't have $500 in a savings account to cover emergencies.

If you're living from paycheck to paycheck, unable to pay your credit card balances in full each month, or neglecting your retirement savings, chances are you're an average American. Here are a few things to focus on in order to relocate to the land of better-than-average.

1. Pay off debt and keep debt low

Improving your savings rate is difficult when living up to or beyond your income levels is buffered by debt. Continually taking on additional payments can make it very difficult to redirect disposable cash to meet savings goals. Eliminating debt carried month-to-month on credit cards, student loans, or auto loans will free up money, save on interest and late fees, and remove the added stress of managing those bills every month.

Planning your spending, saving to pay cash for big ticket items, and building an emergency fund will stave off the need to use debt to support your lifestyle. You may need to work with a financial counselor to help you craft a plan to improve your money management habits and pay off debt quickly. Paying off and staying out of debt will make you an above-average financial rock star in this country. (See also: 7 Easy First Steps to Paying Off Debt)

2. Become a savings superstar

You might not be able to save 60 percent of your income, like the blogger behind DistilledDollar.com did, starting tomorrow. Actually, Matt's ability to save evolved over the past three years. "We started out saving just 10 percent of our income," he says.

By looking at ways to cut back on simple expenses like his dry cleaning or making meals at home, Matt was able to make adjustments that added up. Moving to a smaller apartment within walking distance from his job allowed him to cut his overhead and ditch the need for a car. Fewer expenses means Matt keeps more of his hard-earned cash.

When you save 10 percent of your income (excluding retirement savings), you're already doing much more for your savings than the average American. (See also: Why Your Personal Savings Rate Matters)

3. Learn to invest

Losing money is not on the average person's to-do list. So, I understand why many Americans tread lightly here. But learning to invest your money is a must if you want to break out of the average doldrums of financial life.

Hilary Hendershott, certified financial planner and host of The Profit Boss podcast, says that most people do not max out their 401(k) retirement accounts. "Start there. You can save $18,500 a year if you're under 50," she says.

Beyond maximizing the benefits of your tax-deferred investment options, dipping your toe into the world of investing may start with interviewing financial advisers to help you navigate these new waters. Seek out independent advisers who are fiduciaries — this just means they will advise you based on your best interests.

However you decide to begin, Hendershott suggests you steer clear of national financial news television programs. "It's all financial drama. There's always something wrong. It's not their job to help you make prudent choices. It is their job to get your eyes on the screen to sell advertising," she says. (See also: Want Your Investments to Do Better? Stop Watching the News)

4. Practice an attitude of gratitude

When we're living beyond our means using debt to prop up an inflated lifestyle, a lack of contentment may be the issue. A 2016 Harris Poll identified what they called the American Happiness Index to be 31 out of a scale of 100. That number is down slightly, but hovers in the low 30s pretty consistently, year to year.

Appreciating what you have until you can save and pay cash for its replacement will help you avoid living financially overextended and being unhappy like so many of your neighbors.

5. Audit your associations

Speaking of those around you, Jim Rohn famously quipped, "You're the average of the five people you spend most of your time with." Rohn, a motivational speaker and successful businessman, was likely leaning on the law of averages to back up his claim. That is, the outcome in any situation will be the average of all potential outcomes.

If the theory is correct, to improve financially, start hanging with other people who are fiscally responsible. Think about it. If your girlfriends are known for planning last-minute getaways and you have a penchant for plastic, these trips can contribute to financial instability. If your family places a premium on material items without regard for the ability to pay, you might be absorbed into that overspending way of life.

Should you drop your friends and family like a bag of bricks because they overspend? That's not realistic. Instead, try spending more time with those who may be less financially responsible on your terms. Invite them to events and outings that are budget-friendly. Meanwhile, spend more time with those in your circle who will appreciate and support your journey to financial self-improvement. Seek out groups in the form of investment clubs or money meetups that will expose you to like-minded buds. In this way, you can balance out the negative financial influences. (See also: 10 Types of Friends Who Are Costing You Money)

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This article is from Toni Husbands of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

Why Even Millionaires Aren't Happy About Their Finances

Paul Michael — Mon, 29 Jan 2018 09:00:06 +0000

How much money would you need in your bank account to make you happy? Would $250,000 do the trick? Maybe a cool $1 million? How about $5 million?

Well, a study from the Harvard Business School asked over 4,000 millionaires that question. The magic figure, it seems, is around $8 million; less than that, and life just wasn't giving them everything they needed. However, the vast majority of respondents said that to be truly happy, they'd need far more than that.

How can any of us be happy if that massive amount of cash isn't making those people content? Or to put it another way, what can we learn from these loaded malcontents?

Things are not as important as experiences

Whether you die a pauper or a billionaire, it is highly unlikely that you will look back at your life on your deathbed and wish you had bought more stuff.

A 2015 UBS Investor Watch polled 2,215 millionaires to learn what their biggest regrets were. It turns out, rich people have the same regrets as the rest of us; namely, not spending more time with family, focusing too much on career, not traveling enough, and not taking more chances.

Rich or poor, we can all agree that "stuff" brings only fleeting happiness. Indeed, when most people grab something from a burning house, it's usually a photo album, letters, or other personal keepsakes. Everything else can be replaced, and in many cases will be obsolete in a few years anyway. (See also: 5 Reasons Being a Millionaire Is Overrated)

Don't try to keep up with your richer neighbors

Trying to keep up with the Joneses is never going to work out for you, and that is true regardless of where you live and what you earn. And even once you strike it "rich," the problem doesn't go away.

Millennial and Gen X millionaires are facing this age-old struggle more than other generations. In all likelihood, social media and technology are to blame. According to the UBS Investor Watch survey, 48 percent of millennial millionaires feel they must keep up with the Joneses. Coming in right behind them are Gen X millionaires, at 44 percent. By contrast, only 22 percent of baby boomer millionaires feel they have to "keep up." It's said that we measure our misery by our neighbors, and now those neighbors are on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter, showing everyone just how fabulous their lives are. You really don't know the back story, though. They could be drowning in debt, in a marriage that's falling apart, or dealing with severe emotional problems.

Focus on yourself and your family and friends. Are you good? Great! Don't pay any mind to the trappings of other people's lives. (See also: 4 Money Lessons You Can Learn From the Joneses)

Your time on this planet is finite

From the moment you are born, the clock is ticking. No one knows just how long that clock will tick, but one thing is for certain — one day, it will stop. So many millionaires and billionaires realize this too late. They spend decades amassing great fortunes, spending weekends and evenings doing deals and taking business trips. Before they know it, they're 65 and have 20 years (not the best 20, either) to make up for lost time.

Don't find yourself chasing the almighty dollar for so long that you have no time left to enjoy it. Instead, make plans to see and do the things you want to do while you are young and healthy enough to really enjoy them.

Have you always dreamed of visiting Australia or Iceland? Find a way to make it happen. Want to backpack around Europe? How can you do it sooner rather than later?

When it comes to money and treasures, you can't "take it with you." But you can live life to the fullest, and look back on years of wonderful memories. Your time will always be way more valuable than money.

Good health is critical to happiness

Money can buy you almost anything. When it comes to health care, it can get you the best doctors, the most advanced treatments, and access to medicines and cures that many people just cannot afford. But when you're sick, you're sick — and that can have a huge impact on your happiness.

Steve Jobs or David Bowie would have gladly traded their great wealth for good health and a long life, but they both died from cancer. Queen Elizabeth I said, "All my possessions for a moment of time" on her deathbed. So, you may not be rich, but you should do everything you can to stay healthy. Exercise, a balanced diet, and plenty of laughter are all invaluable.

Friends and family cannot be bought

Well, some "friends" can, but are they really the kind of friends you'd want anyway? Rich or poor, you need good people around you. True friends and trusted family members are essential to a happy life. And almost every rich person out there has said that they wished they had spent more time with their parents, children, and siblings instead of working day and night to make the millions.

Learn from these people. Family and friends are more important than money. Make time for them, and when you've done that … make even more time. They're worth far more than possessions or fat bank accounts.

Do more of what makes you happy

It's easier said than done. After all, how many of us are stuck in a job we really do not like, but have no other choice because bills need to be paid?

Many millionaires spend decades doing things they don't like only because it forged their path to wealth. However, they also regret spending so much time being miserable for the sake of money.

So, even if you are in a job that is draining the life out of you, find ways to balance it with the stuff you really love to do. Maybe you can turn your favorite hobby into a side-hustle — one that could eventually become profitable and become your main source of income. (See also: 6 Signs It's Time to Make Your Side Gig Your Career)

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This article is from Paul Michael of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

11 Ways Freelancers and Telecommuters Can Make Friends and Network

Andrea Cannon — Wed, 22 Feb 2017 10:30:36 +0000

Working from home can be a great thing. It allows you to work where you want, when you want, and has a number of other perks. However, it can be a bit lonely. Luckily, with the power of the Internet (and some motivation to get out and socialize), even those without an office water cooler to mill around can network and make new friends.

Networking Resources

Working off-site can take a toll on your professional network. To build your reputation, find mentors and collaborators, and connect with people in your industry, take advantage of some of the following networking resources. (See also: 15 Simple Networking Tricks)

1. LinkedIn

LinkedIn is one of those most common, popular ways to build and maintain professional relationships. It makes it so easy to network online with other professionals in your field. You can also use LinkedIn to find networking events and opportunities in your area, or connect you with organizations you are interested in.

2. Shapr

Shapr is an app that can connect you with like-minded people, allowing you to swipe left (pass) or right (interested) on your connections. You can set your favorite ways to meet, your passions and interests, and what you're looking for (collaborators, job opportunities, inspiration, potential investments, or new friends).

3. Work Your Existing Connections

Ask friends, past and current co-workers, or even your employer for recommendations on local networking events or seminars. Most cities have their own organizations that specialize in these types of events for working professionals of all kinds. If you can't find any from asking around, try a Google search, LinkedIn, or social media.

4. Take Classes

Consider taking a night class. In addition to growing your skills or teaching you something brand-new, you might befriend some fellow classmates along the way. Even online classes can connect you with new people with similar interests or background in your field.

5. Volunteer

Research some local organizations that could use a hand, and offer your time. Not only will you be contributing to a worthy cause, but you'll also be gaining experience (which looks great on a resume), expanding on your skill set, and of course, meeting new people. Volunteering allows you to become part of a community, which is a great way to expand your network.

Friendship Resources

If you don't get out much, maybe you should start! In the meantime, your smartphone or computer can also be the perfect friendly matchmaker.

6. Bumble BFF

Bumble was originally a dating app, but has expanded to include a "Bumble BFF" feature. Instead of swiping left or right on potential dates, you'll do the same for potential friends. Once you're paired with a new friend, you have only 24 hours to start a chat, so procrastinators and fair-weather friends aren't welcome.

7. Atleto

If you're looking for a workout buddy, then Atleto can help you find local sports activities and fellow fitness enthusiasts. The app can connect you with friends from your existing social media accounts, or you can find new friends in your area. This is a fun way to find an accountability buddy to help you reach your fitness goal.

8. Friender

Friender allows you to swipe left or right on potential connections. You'll create a profile based on personal interests and activities you enjoy, and Friender will recommend a few folks with mutual interests. This app is only for making friends, however, so you won't have to waste time with people who are looking for more.

9. Meetup

Meetup is an online organization with nearly 30 million members that hosts endless gatherings and social functions. You can meet people based on your occupation, personal interests (like hiking or cooking), location, and other factors that are important to you. Join a local club, take up a brand-new hobby, or explore somewhere new, all while making new like-minded friends along the way.

10. Social Media

There can be more to interacting with your Facebook friends than a simple "like" or the occasional comment. Reach out to those friends and old co-workers through Facebook, Twitter, and/or Instagram. Invite them out for lunch or drinks, and simply catch up. It'll feel great to get out and sit with people face to face.

11. Get Out More

Once you are no longer in school or working from an office, it can be challenging to meet new people in person. The best thing to do is visit places where connections naturally occur. Maybe find a book club through your local library, or sign up for that fitness class or 5K you've been aspiring to run. Try a local arts or cooking class, or even take your kids on a playdate where you can mingle with fellow parents. There are countless ways to meet new people if you just get out there!

This article is from Andrea Cannon of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

How to Keep Peer Pressure From Destroying Your Finances

Mikey Rox — Thu, 28 Jan 2016 16:01:04 +0000

No matter your confidence level, you probably don't want to be known as the poor one in your group of friends. When they're going out to dinner and planning vacations together, it can be hard to turn down invitations or resist pressure to join in on the fun.

Financial peer pressure is a real problem that can affect people of all ages. According to a study conducted by the American Institute of CPAs, about "78% of young adults look at the financial habits of their friends to determine their own habits." Another 66% admitted that they strived to keep up with their peers in terms of living conditions, and two-thirds of consumers feel some level of financial peer pressure.

If you don't think friends influence your spending habits, consider this: Have you ever charged something you couldn't afford to a credit card to keep up appearances? Have you ever spent outside your budget so you wouldn't feel left out? Most of us have been in these types of situations. Luckily, we also grow and learn how to make better choices with our money, and one of the best decisions you can make is learning how not to give in to financial peer pressure.

1. Shop Alone

To resist financial peer pressure, you have to know what you can handle. You can't control what your friends do or buy, but you can control who you shop with. If hitting the mall with friends results in you burning through more cash than you have, you need to shop alone.

Your friends may not have ill intentions, but if they see you drooling over an item, they could unknowingly put pressure on you to purchase something you can't afford. You have to remember one important fact: You're the one who has to deal with the repercussions of a purchase. Your friends aren't getting the credit card statement in the mail; you are. Likewise, they're not the ones who'll worry about making ends meet if you spend outside your budget. Learn how to become your own shopping buddy.

Personally, I only shop alone, and I love it. I'm not tryin' to wait for you to try on six different outfits just to pick the first one you had on. No, thank you. I'll meet you back in the food court in an hour.

2. Don't Be Ashamed of Your Limitations

The fact that you have some financial limitations doesn't make you a loser or mean you're inferior to anyone. Maybe you have more expenses or responsibilities than your friends. Some of your friends might be single with no kids, have roommates, or live with their folks, whereas you're the breadwinner of your household. Everyone has unique circumstances. So if you have to pass on a costly night out or a fancy excursion, it's okay.

3. Don't Be Fooled by Social Media

Even if your friends seem to have it together financially, it could very well all be an act. With that said, stop coveting the lifestyles you see on Facebook or Tumblr. Remember, most people don't use social media to broadcast their problems. What they will do, however, is showcase the good in their lives, such as vacations, new cars, new homes, and other achievements. There isn't anything wrong with people sharing good or exciting news — just realize that what you see online isn't always the truth, and it definitely shouldn't be the standard you live by. Some of the people you envy are up to their eyeballs in debt — all because they're trying to portray a certain lifestyle. (See also: 10 Things to Stop Doing on Social Media by 30)

4. Don't Forget Your Goals

Adopting a frugal mindset is one of the best ways to reach your goals, such as saving up to buy a house or finally taking a European vacation. This involves pinching your pennies and making sacrifices for the betterment of your personal money. But you won't reach these goals if you're giving into financial peer pressure. The next time a friend ups the pressure or tries to make you feel bad for not spending money, think about your goals and decide whether saving face is worth derailing your plans.

5. Don't Let Braggarts Get in Your Head

Some people will brag about anything, and you might feel tempted to outshine them — but you shouldn't do this at the expense of your finances. The braggart is the one with the problem, not you. This person wants to stir competition and outdo his friends, family, coworkers, neighbors, etc. You have a choice. You can either ignore this person (at which point he'll take his annoying self elsewhere), or you can fall for the bait and get trapped in a game of one-up. Just know that in this game, there are no winners. You might come out on top, but it'll cost you.

Have you let financial peer pressure get the best of you? How have you dealt with it? Let's discuss in the comments below.

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This article is from Mikey Rox of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

6 Summer Party Ideas That Won't Break the Bank

Laurel Randolph — Fri, 03 Jul 2015 13:00:17 +0000

Summer is the ideal time for get-togethers. On top of holidays like Memorial Day, 4th of July, or Labor Day, we also enjoy regular weekend grill-outs, birthdays, and pool parties. It's a whole lot of fun, and throwing your own shindig can be very rewarding. The only problem is the cost — feeding, watering, and entertaining a group of people can be expensive. If you're thinking about having a summer party (or three), check out our ideas for wallet-friendly summer festivities. They're fun for the whole family, and you can enjoy yourself without worrying about the budget.

1. Hot Dog Buffet

It's hard to beat a grill-out in the summertime, but grilling lots of meat can get pricey. Thankfully, one of the cheapest options is hot dogs, a food young and old alike love. If you don't own the necessary equipment, head to a public park with free-to-use grills and bring along cleaning tools, charcoal, and a bag to throw out your waste. Grill up a pile of hot dogs (including some veggie dogs if you have vegetarian guests) and set-up a fun buffet of toppings. Provide the usual ketchup, mustard, and relish, and set out other options like sauerkraut, crushed potato chips, chili, cheese, guacamole, onions, and salsa. Have everyone bring a side, drink, or topping to share, and you'll be able to provide an impressive and fun spread without breaking the bank.

2. Ice Cream Social

Nothing tastes better than an ice cream cone on a summer afternoon. Gather your friends and family for an ice cream social, and you're sure to have a sweet time. If any of your friends own an ice cream maker, encourage them to make their own flavor and bring a pint. Everyone can sample all of the ice creams, and no one is stuck with too much of one flavor. For those of us that don't own a maker, host a potluck-style sundae party. Ask everyone to bring a tub of ice cream and you can provide all of the toppings, or reverse it — provide all of the ice cream, while the guests bring toppings. Include fun details like sugar cones, chocolate syrup, sprinkles, whipped cream, and caramel. Kids will love making their own sundaes with all the fixings.

3. Afternoon of Games

Enjoy the warm summer weather by inviting your friends over for an afternoon of games. Having an afternoon party alleviates the need to provide a whole meal, saving a lot of cash. Set-up gaming areas in your backyard, or invite everyone to a public park. Bring blankets and folding chairs for hanging out, and have your guests supply their favorite outdoor games. Many games require little more than a ball or frisbee, but are loads of fun with big or small groups. Provide light snacks and lemonade, and enjoy playing horseshoes, bocce, foursquare, and more.

4. Movie Night

Summer blockbusters can be really fun, but going to the movie with a group adds up. Instead of making a trip to the theater, invite friends over to watch a movie for a fun nighttime party. If you or a friend owns a projector, hang a white sheet outside and have a special outdoor screening. Guests can bring their own blanket and get comfortable on the lawn. If you're showing your movie inside, make it special with lots of pillows to sit on and snuggle with, dim lighting, and popcorn and drinks. Play some movie trivia to keep the party social, or have themed nights based on the movie you're playing.

5. Pool Party

If you own a pool, then let's just stop right here. Just invite everyone over to your pool and poof! You have a party. If you live in an apartment complex with a pool, invite a small group to join you one afternoon for lounging and splashing around. Provide plastic cups and a cold drink, and maybe a pool game or two. Just be sure to abide by any pool rules for your apartment building. If you don't have access to a pool at all, then find a great public pool nearby and set a time to meet there. Have fun hanging out in the water and poolside, and go for ice cream or happy hour afterwards. Some fancy hotels offer access to their pools for free or with a purchase, and can be a fun treat for a hot day.

6. BYOM Cookout

If you'd still like to go the cookout route but want to serve more than hot dogs, have a BYOM party. Ask your guests to bring their own meat to throw on the grill, and you'll shrink your cost while making sure everyone gets the main dish they really want. Have sides and fixings ready, like coleslaw, potato salad, chips, fruit, condiments, and cold drinks. People can share their offerings and mix and match to their heart's desire, and there's sure to be some extra meat left for the host.

What's your favorite frugal summer party idea?

This article is from Laurel Randolph of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

11 Signs You Need to Dump Your Friend

Mikey Rox — Thu, 25 Jun 2015 11:00:16 +0000

Having good friends is an important piece of the lifestyle puzzle. For some of us, our friends are closer to us than our family members, and we share much of our life's up and downs with them.

Not all "friends" are the same, however. Every once in a while you come across an individual who seems benign in the beginning, but eventually reveals himself to be a devil in disguise. (Or just, you know, isn't a great fit for you.) Here are some of the signs that you're keeping bunk company.

1. They're Talking Smack Behind Your Back

Gutter-dwelling gossip was par for the course in high school, but now that you're a real-life adult it shouldn't have any place in your life. "Frenemies" might sound fun in theory — the people on TV are having a great time stabbing each other in the back between air kisses, after all — but it's an immature status to put on your relationships. If you suspect that a friend is tarnishing your good name, confront them. Maybe it's a misunderstanding you both can get past. If it's not a case of miscommunication but rather one of Mean Girl/Boy-itis, accept the situation for what it is and kick Regina George to the curb.

2. They Don't Invite You to Do Anything

I'm speaking from experience on this one, and it became such a chronic situation with several people when I'd invite them to parties, events, and on dates with no reciprocation that I had to do major friend housekeeping (and a bit of soul-searching) a few years ago to remedy it.

My "Aha!" moment stemmed from an annual holiday party I used to host at my home in Manhattan. I'd invite everyone — friends, colleagues, acquaintances — and we'd have a blast drinking, eating, and laughing all night long. While I didn't mind not hearing much from colleagues and acquaintances frequently (we weren't "friends," so I couldn't expect much), I did expect some level of return friendship from those who I thought were, well, my friends.

Outside of the holiday party, I'd invite them over for game and movie nights, we'd go out to brunch or a movie, and I'd lend a hand when needed. Yet, I was rarely-to-never invited to the things they were doing that they proudly posted all over social media. Of course my feelings were hurt, and the pain evolved into anger. They didn't mind drinking my booze and eating my food and using my free movie coupons, but I wasn't good enough to think about otherwise. Thus, I had to make a conscious decision to cut those people out of my life if only to stop feeling sorry for myself. Yeah, it sucked, but I'm much more content with the quality of people I have in my life now opposed to the quantity I had back then.

3. They're Not There for You When You Need Them

Friends not inviting you to do things is a red flag for sure, but friends not being there for you when you need them most is a three-alarm fire that needs to be extinguished immediately.

"Having close friends is not just about having fun together but also supporting each other when times are tough," says John Boese, founder of friend-making social media site GoFindFriends. "Great relationships involve both friends supporting each other in times of need. If the relationship feels one-sided, look for someone who wants to build a real relationship that will last through good times and bad."

The rough times are the ones where you'll find out who your true friends are, as they say. If you wanted a particular presence and that person purposefully wasn't around, bury that broken friendship with whatever tragedy you just went through. Time to move on.

4. They Don't Respect Agreements or Boundaries

It may seem like an innocent oversight when a friend borrows something of yours and "forgets" to return it, but if it's a consistent problem, the issue should be addressed. Same goes for crossed boundaries. Did your friend push too far without so much as an apology? Nip that problem in the bud, too.

"During any kind of relationship, boundaries become established by both parties communicating what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior," says Ilianna Luna, licensed marriage and family therapist. "A friend will know your likes and dislikes, and if he or she hurts you by doing something you don't like — and does nothing to make amends — it's time to speak up and let him or her know you don't want that kind of friendship."

5. They're Emotionally Draining

Ever had a friend that you started to avoid because every time you're with that person the conversation is so emotionally draining that you wish God would invent a whiskey swimming pool?

Rest assured, we all have one of those. Dr. Ben Michaelis, clinical psychologist and author of the book Your Next Big Thing: 10 Small Steps to Get Moving and Get Happy, offers advice.

"None of us wants to see friends and family as having a negative influence on our lives, but if they are holding us back from being truly happy and fulfilled, we need to take a hard look at the role they play," he says. "Be honest with yourself and take a look at the relationships that may not be right for you, or which you may have outgrown. You can't force or expect your friends and family to change, but you can make choices about who you choose to let into your life."

6. They're Overly Critical of You

There's an old saying that implies that we're our own worst critics (I know I am) — so why the heck would we want somebody else judging us? Nerp. Turn that harsh bus around, anti-friend.

"An occasional constructive comment is fine, but friends who constantly make you feel bad about yourself are not worth your time," Boese says. "If they often criticize you for how you act, look, or how you choose to live your life, then it's probably best to find someone who is more supportive."

7. They're Jealous of Your Life

You think you've made a great new friend, but before you know it she's living in your house, breastfeeding your newborn baby, putting the moves on your husband, framing your handyman, and plotting the murder of your bestie in the greenhouse. Okay, so that's the plot of The Hand That Rocks the Cradle, but if you're not careful the same scenario could totally happen to you.

If you suspect that there's an unhealthy jealousy between you and a friend, it's time to back away from that friendship. There's very little you can do to make that person not jealous (notwithstanding the fact that it's totally creeper to be jealous of a friend in the first place, of course), and it could get ugly down the line. You don't want to have to push the weirdo off the roof, do you? Back away from the friendship slowly and say so long.

8. They Have a "Me-Me-Me" Attitude

"Some people seem to make everything about themselves," Boese says. "Your conversations always end up focusing on them and you may even struggle to get a word in while they're speaking. This can lead to an unequal relationship where you're getting out of it much less than you're putting in. It's best to find someone who understands the give-and-take of building a strong, lasting relationship."

Alas, Luna offers a more congenial way of handling people with SPD or Selfish Personality Disorder (not a realdisorder, but it is).

"When one friend constantly takes from the relationship but gives nothing back, it becomes a breeding ground for resentment and back-stabbing," she says. "In all fairness, you should let the person know they have hijacked the friendship and give them a chance to change. They may not know they are doing it. If you bring it up in a non-threatening way and the friend continues disregarding your thoughts and feelings, it's time to end it."

9. They Court the Kind of Drama Fit for Primetime TV

I'm gonna be honest and tell you that I sort of wish I lived in a world where Empire and Dallas were real and all the boys wanted to date me. But unless you're bringing the kind of hotness to the table that makes platinum records spin and/or oil derricks explode all over Texas, save the drama for your mama. Personally, I've never had any patience for premature Emmy Award winners with no TV credits whose hashtags are always "epic" because they're having the WORST. DAY. EVER. Do yourself a favor and exit stage left if you've got a Monday morning thespian bringing you down.

10. They're a Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire

One the best things about being a self-sufficient adult in my 30s is that I don't have to lie to any of my friends (or anyone else, for that matter). I'm not responsible for anyone, I'm not accountable to anyone, and I generally live my life as a grown-up dude who doesn't care what anybody thinks about what I say or do — because I alone pay my bills. In summary, I won't blow smoke up your bum, because it's absolutely unnecessary.

It's also unnecessary for you to accept lies from your friends. It's a juvenile practice common among kids (hopefully that will put things into perspective), or those who have something to hide. While I don't expect that you're hanging out with nine-year-olds, if you happen to have somebody in your life who's lying to you, I suggest getting to the root of the problem right away. Perhaps there's a good reason (embarrassment is an acceptable reason for someone to lie in my book; I can at least understand that point of view) for which you can forgive them. Just don't let your guard down completely and forgive willy-nilly.

11. They Use You for What You Can Give Them

There are two reasons I've identified that compel people to hang out with me other than just being friends. The first is that I work in media, so I'm often invited to cool events and receive neat products to try; people like that. I also have a house on the Jersey Shore, very close to the beach, and people like that, too. I don't mind sharing these perks of my life with them — I like seeing my friends smile — but I also don't let either of those reasons define our friendship.

If I get even an inkling that I'm being used, that person is shown the door, sometimes quite literally.

Are there other signs that we need to a dump a friend that you'd like to add? Let me know in the comments below.

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This article is from Mikey Rox of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

10 Types of Friends Who Are Costing You Money

Tim Lemke — Wed, 14 Jan 2015 18:00:09 +0000

Our friends are some of the most important people in our lives. But have you ever considered the impact they have on your finances?

Some friends can suck money from your wallet, even if they don't intend to. And because they're your friends, you may not even notice. (See also: 10 Types of Neighbors Who Are Costing You Money)

Consider whether yours fall into any of these categories of friends that cost you money.

1. The Leech

He's more than just cheap. He's a moocher. He's always asking to borrow money. He raids your fridge, and if you go out to eat, he always insists on paying just half the check — even if he ordered more. He wants you to spot him his share of the monthly rent and promises to pay you back — but you know he won't. He'll even "borrow" books and DVDs that you'll never see again. You need to draw a hard line on what you'll do for this friend. Otherwise, you'll both end up suffering financially.

2. The Big Spender

If you go to a baseball game together, they insist on getting tickets behind home plate instead of in the bleachers. When you suggest a weekend of camping, they push for a week of skiing in Aspen. Perhaps this friend is wealthy and has a good chunk of disposable income. Or, perhaps they just love to spend and hate to save. Either way, keeping up with their lifestyle is making you go broke. You like this friend because you enjoy his or her company, but you must politely find a way to spend time with them on more frugal terms.

3. The Bad Association

He's always getting in trouble, and you're often dragged in his wake. He's the guy who shows up with weed at parties, or gets into fights at clubs. You can try your best to be on the straight and narrow, but just being around him can put you at risk for legal trouble. And even if your criminal record stays clean, your social media profile might not. Think you're due for a raise at work? You better hope the boss doesn't see the drunken Instagram pic your friend tagged you in.

4. The Awful Entrepreneur

She always has a new idea for something that will change the world, and all she needs is some money to get it off the ground. Maybe it's a new mobile app to help you brush your teeth, or a new restaurant specializing in gourmet scrambled eggs. You admire her entrepreneurial spirit, but the truth is that she has neither the business sense nor the dedication to get rich from any of these schemes. It may be tempting to lend money to friends for their business ventures, but don't let your friendship skew your assessment of whether the investment makes good financial sense.

5. The Philanthropist

This month, he's running in a marathon to raise money for cancer research. Next month, he's seeking donations for a local homeless shelter. He's a generous soul — and that's great! But it's important that you don't feel pressured to donate every time he comes around. You must find a way to gently tell your friend that you can't pony up cash every time he's supporting something. Keep in mind that it's possible to support his cause without giving money. For instance, consider volunteering your time to the charity in question, instead.

6. The Celebrator

I had an old friend from college who would plan parties and outings for the most innocuous of reasons. While most of us grew older and let our birthdays pass with little fanfare, he was still planning annual trips to Las Vegas well into his 30s. His over-celebrating was often excessive, but the truth is that this is something many of us fall prey to. We celebrate the new job, the promotion, the graduation from pre-school. We reward ourselves with a dinner out just because "we've had a tough week." Resist the urge to celebrate every single life event, and politely beg out of those outings to which you've been invited.

7. The Extravagant Gift Giver

It's Christmas Day and you bought gifts for all of the people on your list. But then a friend arrives with expensive items for you and your entire family. Now you're on the hook to reciprocate, even if you feel like you're not close enough with this person to be exchanging gifts every year. This is a tricky situation, as it hardly seems civil to complain about a friend's generosity. But there are polite ways to nudge the person away from giving gifts. If they still insist on giving, reciprocate by inviting them to dinner or finding a tasteful but inexpensive item.

8. The Spending Enabler

So you're on the fence about whether to buy the 45-inch flat screen TV or the 70-inch monster. On one shoulder is the little Frugal Angel, telling you to buy the smaller one, or even pass on buying altogether. One the other is your friend, telling you how much you deserve the behemoth. She may mean well, but she's always pushing you to spend more. "Go for it," she'll say. "You work hard. Don't be afraid to spoil yourself." Never listen to the Enabling Devil.

9. The Early Adopter

This is the guy who stands in line at the Apple Store every time a new phone is released. He's the first to get every new gadget or technology out there. Hanging out with this friend can make you feel pressured to keep up. But keep in mind that Early Adopters rarely get the best deals. Don't let your friend's love of the shiny new thing influence your own buying decisions.

10. The Gambler

With this friend, a casual game of poker always seems to turn into a scene from Rounders. His "friendly" fantasy football league just offers another chance for big chunks of money to change hands. He's always betting on something, and all too often you find yourself opening up your wallet to join the fun. Resist the urge to bet big bucks on things every time you hang out with this friend. You'll be better off financially (and your blood pressure may improve as well).

Do you have any "friends" like these? How do you deal with friends that are costing you money?

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This article is from Tim Lemke of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

6 Ways to Be a Better Friend Without Any Effort

Sarah Winfrey — Wed, 17 Sep 2014 15:00:08 +0000

Friendship is one of the best and purest pleasures of life. There's nothing quite like having a good friend who walks beside you through the thick and thin, who knows you inside and out, and who helps make your life richer and more meaningful.

But… that takes a lot of work. When you're run down, exhausted, sick, or otherwise unable to put the energy and effort into your friendships in the ways you want to or the ways you've done before, it's easy to start to wonder if your friends will all run away. (See also: 50 Fun, Free Ways to Have a Great Time With Friends)

While a true friend won't leave you when you're in distress, even if you have absolutely nothing to give to them or the relationship, it can ease your anxiety to know that there are some easy, effortless things you can do that make you a better friend. These can make both you and your friend feel better about your relationship, even when things are hard.

1. Be Yourself

It's easy to feel like your friends want you to be a certain person or act a certain way. However, real friends just want you to be you. And, honestly, what could be easier? To be a good friend, stop worrying. Stop worrying about how you're coming across, about what they might be thinking, and about whether they might rather be with someone else.

Instead, give them the gift of you. Stop making the whole thing harder than it is. Offer yourself, and you may find that your friends are freed to do the same, which makes any relationship stronger.

2. Ask Them How They Feel

We have all heard about how empathy is important and how it makes relationships stronger, and most of us have experienced it with some friend, at some time. However, empathy often takes so much energy! Fortunately, it's easy to show empathy even when you're not feeling it or you don't know how to start.

When a friend is sharing something that they're struggling with, ask them how they feel about it. After they've shared how they're feeling, tell them, "That sounds like a rough place to be," or, "It sounds like this is difficult for you." This helps them feel heard, with little effort on your part.

While you shouldn't fake empathy when you really don't value it, these phrases can help you seem empathic even when you're tired, stressed, or otherwise too drained. It takes almost no effort to say these phrases, and you can decide later if you really have the energy to listen well, or if your friend just needs permission to vent.

3. Stop Giving Advice

We want to help our friends, and we feel like we should. However, we will help more by simply listening, which frees us from the burden of figuring out all of their problems.

Giving advice can feel good in a friendship, but it takes quite a bit of energy to think up solutions for their problems that might actually work. And, in fact, this is not your job. Most people are perfectly capable of managing their own lives, when they're given the chance to do so. When you stop giving advice, you won't expend as much energy owning their problems, and they will find that they have the power and ability to solve things on their own.

Quitting advice can also save your friendships from becoming unbalanced. If you give all the advice and they always receive it, it's hard to have a real friendship. You become a counselor, and they may feel like they don't have much to offer you. When you quit giving advice, you not only save your energy but you might salvage a relationship, too.

4. Tell Them You Enjoy Their Presence

When you're tired, it's easy to act and feel down in general, and your friends may not know that this has nothing to do with them. Reassure them by telling them that you enjoy them, that your life is better because they are there, or that their friendship makes a hard time better.

Doing this will make you a better friend even when you're not tired, and it never takes much effort. Friendship can be confusing and difficult to navigate even in the best of times, and it's always better to tell people exactly where they stand, especially when doing so will help them relax in your presence.

5. Smile

Smiling is contagious. When you see someone smile, your brain wants to do the same in return. So you smile. And when you smile, all sorts of good things happen in your body and your brain. You release endorphins, which make you feel better, and you look more attractive to others.

Guess what? When your friends smile, they experience the same effects. Thus, offering your friend a smile (which their body almost forces them to return), does them a huge favor and probably makes them feel better about their relationship with you, even if they aren't sure why.

6. Say "Please" And "Thank You"

It's perfectly acceptable to ask your friends for help. In fact, it might even be good for you. When you do ask for help, though, be sure to use "please" and "thank you."

These words are more than just polite niceties. When used with a genuine tone of voice, they show your friends that they are important to you. "Please" shows that you value your friend and his or her resources — time, energy, money, etc. — that you are asking for, and that you understand they will have to give of themselves to meet your request.

"Thank you" indicates similar things. Saying these words means that you accept the gift your friend has just given you, whatever it is, and that you appreciate it and are grateful, both for the gift and for them.

How do you show your friends you care when you're worn out? Have you ever had a friend do something that was effortless for them but meant a lot to you?

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This article is from Sarah Winfrey of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

12 Things You Need to Stop Doing Today to Be a Better Friend

Kentin Waits — Thu, 04 Sep 2014 11:00:03 +0000

Sometimes true friendships seem to be born out of a mysterious, intangible energy that pulls two people together. Keeping friendships strong and thriving is a far less mysterious affair, though. (See also: 6 Time-Tested Ways to Make a Relationship Work)

Part art, part science, and part common sense, being a better friend takes a lot of effort, and maybe the kicking of a bad habit or two. Or a dozen. So here are 12 things you need to stop doing now in order to be a better friend.

1. Shopping for Better Social Offers

Psst… you're not fooling anyone when you're consistently non-committal about plans. Your friends probably know you're holding out for a better offer. We get it — your time is a rare and valuable commodity. But as tempting as "social shopping" might be from time-to-time, consider the long-term effects it can have on the relationships your hold most dear. Commit, participate, and stop wondering what's behind curtain number three.

2. Going AWOL When You're Dating

Are you the type of friend that disappears the moment a romantic relationship gets serious? Or worse, do you reconnect with old friends once it's time to pick up the pieces after a breakup? If so, it may be time to reevaluate how you balance the relationships in your life. Solid friendships are built on consistency and mutual respect; don't go MIA the moment you fall head over heels.

3. Texting, Tweeting, Calling, Clicking, Snapping, and Chatting

It's difficult to listen when we're surrounded by mobile devices that are never silenced or sidelined. Make face time (and by face time, I mean face-to-face time, not the Apple product), electronics-free. You'll become more fully present, your friends will thank you for it, and you'll begin to appreciate the unplugged moments of life.

4. Being Late

Sometimes it's unavoidable. But if you're terminally tardy, you're implying that your friends' time isn't as valuable as yours. Honor the people you care about by learning how to be punctual.

5. Listening Just to Respond

The art of conversation is built on active listening, but many people cut their listening time short in order to formulate a reply. Instead of worrying about how you're going to respond (if a response is even necessary), listen to learn. What is your friend really saying? And just as importantly, what's not being said?

6. Avoiding the Truth

John Lennon said it best: "Being honest may not get you a lot of friends, but it'll always get you the right ones." Good friends are kind to each other, but rigorously honest about the things that matter. Work to make your closest friendships "no BS zones" where you can be open about the ups and downs of life, love, career, and money. It'll help create a refuge where each of you can give and receive honest feedback.

7. Forgetting Important Dates

Birthdays, anniversaries, significant events at work — remembering these details shows that you're listening and that you're tuned into another person's world. Acknowledging the major and minor moments of our friends' lives promotes trust, connection, and appreciation.

8. Imposing Time Limits

Aren't we all on the clock too much as it is? I don't know about you, but the last thing I need is a friend who can't put down his mental stopwatch. Sure, sometimes it's just fine to sneak a quick cup of coffee in between meetings, but a chronic I've-got-to-run attitude is doesn't allow room for friendships to meander, grow, and deepen.

9. Over-Planning Everything

Doesn't it seem like the best moments in life are the unplanned ones? As much as a good plan can benefit a Friday night or a weekend getaway, it's important to know when to scrap the schedule and just wing it.

10. Being Predictable

Sometimes small gestures of kindness, surprising moments, and a spontaneous spirit can breathe new life into a friendship between two people who know each other frontward and backward. Keep your friendships fresh by showing appreciation and nurturing a bit of the unexpected. Running low on inspiration, explore new and inexpensive ways to have fun with friends.

11. Holding Grudges

Every relationship has its highs and lows. But friendships are investments that two people make in each other; don't let hurt feelings or an argument wipe out what you've built.

12. Dodging the Truly Terrible Times

It's inevitable — when two people are friends for a long enough period of time, they'll witness life-altering events in each other's lives. The death of a parent, a messy divorce, or loss of a job are just a few examples of moments when good friendships are forged by fire and become something far more profound. Don't dodge the down times because you don't know the right thing to do or say. Realize the comfort your shared history can provide and rise to the occasion.

In the end, friendships are formed by common interests and complementary senses of humor, but they're maintained and deepened by the shared events — the comedies and tragedies that shift and shape our lives. Friendships should help us achieve more, worry less, laugh louder, and handle the challenges of life with a little more support. With that in mind, learning to be a better is nearly a sacred pursuit. Put your whole heart into it.

Do you have a best friend? How did he or she earn that coveted title in your life?

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This article is from Kentin Waits of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

7 Nice Ways to Tell Your Spendy Friends You're Staying on Budget

Mikey Rox — Fri, 29 Aug 2014 13:00:07 +0000

Unless you're invited to hang out at a friend's house, social invitations typically require spending money — going to the movies, grabbing a bite to eat, hitting an amusement park.

Ignoring an invite or saying that you're busy can get you off the hook, but friends might get suspicious if you pull the same excuse over and over. (See also: Is Peer Pressure Keeping You Poor?)

You don't have to justify your reasons for not spending. But if you don't want friends or relatives to get the wrong idea or think that you're avoiding them, a simple explanation goes a long way. Whether you're on a financial fast or have other plans for your money, there are friendly ways to tell someone you don't want to spend money.

1. I'm Saving Up for the Holidays

It doesn't matter if you're buying gifts for family or taking a vacation, planning for the holiday season is a good reason (and good excuse) to scale back on spending. And since many people feel the pinch during the holidays, those in your social circle will likely understand your reasoning, and won't give you a hard time for turning down pricey invitations.

2. I'm Trying to Stick to My Budget

Saying, "I'm on a budget" is one way to say you're broke without actually uttering the word. But even when you have extra money, budgeting can prevent overspending.

If you receive an invitation to join friends at a restaurant, or if you're invited to a network marketing sales party, be honest and let the host know that extra spending isn't in the budget right now. This doesn't necessarily suggest that you don't have money, but that you're careful with how you spend your pennies. Your willpower might rub off on others.

3. I Have New Responsibilities

Social invitations can go beyond dinner and a movie, and your friends might plan a vacation together or suggest a shopping trip in the city. A responsible adult counts the cost before any large purchase. And if you have new responsibilities or financial obligations (such as you've started a family or recently purchased a home), now may not be the best time to spend money on an expensive adventure. If you're the first one in your group to have children or buy a house, you might need to kindly remind your friends how these changes impact personal finances. And remember: specifics count here. So if you feel comfortable, feel free to go into detail about said new responsibilities.

4. I've Had Some Unexpected Expenses Arise

Maybe you haven't taken on new responsibilities, yet unexpected costs have zapped your disposable income. You may have some extra money, yet realize it's wiser to put this cash towards getting your finances back on track — and right now, frivolous spending is out of the question.

5. I'm Planning for My Future

Friends don't need to know the nitty-gritty details about your plan. Whether you're growing your retirement fund, saving up for a house, or planning to buy a vacation property, you'll never reach long-term saving goals unless you're disciplined and willing to turn down a few invitations.

6. Can I Suggest Another Activity?

The fact that you don't want to spend money doesn't mean that you don't want to spend time with friends. Another friendly approach is suggesting an alternate activity — one that doesn't cost a dime, or an activity that costs very little.

For example, if a friend suggests a getaway, but you don't want to spend money on airfare, hotels, and meals in an expensive city, suggest a cheaper option and look for a destination within a one or two-hour drive of your house. Spend the day enjoying the local sights, and drive back the same day. Pack a lunch and snacks and only spend money on gas.

7. Blame a Scapegoat — if Necessary

Explaining that you're on a budget or saying that you're planning for the future are friendly ways to tell someone that you don't want to spend money. But sometimes, these reasons don't put an end to spending peer pressure, and you might need to use a scapegoat.

This suggestion comes from a friend who felt pressured by co-workers to dine out for lunch. Her colleagues ate out just about everyday of the week, spending upwards of $30 to $40 a week on lunch. Although joining the group wouldn't create a hardship, she couldn't justify spending so much on lunch. The pressure didn't stop until she nicely used her husband as a scapegoat, saying he didn't like the idea of her spending $100 a month on lunch. Fair? Maybe. Effective? Yes.

Can you suggest some other friendly ways to tell someone you don't want to spend money? What excuses have you used in the past? Let me know in the comments below.

This article is from Mikey Rox of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

The 5 Worst Pieces of Financial Advice Your Friends Give You

Jacob McMillen — Tue, 13 May 2014 08:12:24 +0000

We all love our friends. That's why we keep them around. It's always good to have other voices and perspectives in our lives, letting us know when we're doing well, walking a fine line, or just plain wrong.

Sometimes, our friends are a valuable source of wisdom in our life. But let's be honest. Sometimes our friends give bad advice. And I mean really bad advice — like horrendous, usher-in-the-apocalypse type stuff.

If your friends are the opinionated type, you can even expect a never-ending barrage of article quotes and obscure, unverifiable facts backing up their awful counsel. In fact, baseless articles, regurgitated through your friends, are probably the source of the worst financial advice you've ever received. (See also: 11 Ways Your Friends Can Save You Money)

Let's take a look at this poor guidance — the worst pieces of financial advice your friends give you.

1. You Can Afford It

At some point in our lives, each of us is tempted to keep up with the Joneses. Much of our society operates on a mentality that says, "If I can buy it, I can afford it."

The trouble with this mentality is that it's a poverty mentality. It's like a farmer eating all of his wheat instead of planting enough for next year's crop. Just because you can afford that new car your neighbor bought doesn't mean you should buy it. In 20 years, you won't care about what model vehicle you drove this year. You will care about whether that $20k turned into $0 or $75k.

2. You Need to Take a Long Vacation

Somehow, we've fallen into this mentality where a two-week family vacations are a mandatory part of a every year. Just considering a departure from this trend will illicit correction from our friends and coworkers. "No vacation!?" "Inconceivable!" "You should really put your family first."

Life-work balance is important, but no system works perfectly for everyone. For your family, a week-long vacation might the most stressful week of the year. Why waste all your disposable income to meet a quota? If a few weekend getaways with the spouse and a monthly day-trip with the family make more sense, go with that. (See also: 14 Affordable Weekend Getaways)

3. School Is Worth the Debt

Education is definitely important, and numerous studies have confirmed that degree-holders make more money in the long run. That being said, there are plenty of low-cost options for acquiring a college degree.

Unless you have some sort of highly lucrative job opportunity secured pending graduation from a specific university, taking out $50k+ in student loans makes little sense. There are hundreds of affordable college options. No degree is worth spending the entirety of your twenties in financial shackles.

4. You Need to Save More Money

As Wise Bread readers know, aggressive saving is important to long-term financial wellbeing. Saving tips are a staple on any website dealing with personal finance, and virtually everyone these days has their own personal collection of wallet-sparing tricks.

The problem, however, is that saving money doesn't increase wealth. Investment increases wealth, and a simple "You should save more money!" approach will sink your chances at living the life you desire.

If you have cut frivolous expenses from your spending habits, the next step is not to find more joys to cut out, but rather, to find positive investments to place that income in. If a tight budget isn't enough to get by, you should be looking at alternative income sources, not attempting to squash all remaining pleasures out of your life. (See also: 30 Great Side Jobs)

5. Invest in "Can't Miss Super Opportunity, Inc"

As noted above, investment is the key to financial success. If your friends are all millionaires, this article doesn't apply to you, and you're pretty much set for life anyway.

For everyone else, just realize your friends would be making ridiculous amounts of money if their investment ideas were worth the time they wasted telling you. Three out of four venture capital backed startups fail within the first four years. And it's even worse for bootstrapping startups that don't secure venture capital. Investing in Can't Miss Super Opportunity, Inc based on a random friend's suggestion is essentially gambling... with the additional risk that a loss could cost you a friendship, too.

What's the worst financial advice you've ever heard from one of your friends? Please share in comments!

This article is from Jacob McMillen of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

5 People You Should Have in Your "Personal Emergency Kit"

Mikey Rox — Thu, 01 May 2014 09:00:26 +0000

They say it takes a village to raise a kid, but the truth is, it takes a village to get through life in general whether you have kids or not. And to exist in a relatively peaceful village, you have to ensure that you're surrounding yourself with the right people — especially for emergency situations.

I'm sure you can think of plenty of folks in your own life who lend a helping hand when you need it. That's great; keep them around. If you don't have these people, however, it's time you let your guard down and let some new folks in; you never know when you're gonna need them, but when you do, you'll be glad you found each other.

To help you evaluate who's missing from your "personal emergency kit," here are five types of people who can make your life easier in times of crises — plus a bonus guy who may be the most important of them all. (See also: Emergencies to Prepare For)

1. A Neighbor Who Will Alert You When There's Trouble at Your House

"Roseanne" is one of my favorite shows, and I love the episode when Roseanne thinks her uppity neighbor, Kathy Bowman, is giving all her high-end furniture and housewares to charity while Kathy and her family are on vacation. A truck, presumably from a Salvation Army-type establishment, pulls up to Kathy's house and empties it while Roseanne looks on in disbelief at her neighbor's frivolous "goodwill." Roseanne — spotting something in transit from house to truck that she deems too good for "charity" — goes over to the moving guys and pays them $20 for a tacky ceramic dog. Long story short, Kathy returns and tells Roseanne that she's been robbed blind, much to Roseanne's surprise. Excellent episode; that lady still cracks me up 20+ years later.

The moral of that anecdote is that good neighbors are hard to come by these days, so when you find one, hang on to them tight. This neighbor will help you rest easier while you're on vacation because you know they're looking over your home well, but they'll also keep a watchful eye even when you're away for just a few hours. This neighbor can collect your mail for you if you're taking an extended vacation, and call the cops if they spot strangers lurking about.

If you don't have a neighbor like this, get in one's good graces soon. You don't want to regret it later.

2. Someone Who Can Watch Over Your Kids at Moment's Notice

Those of you with kids know that there are times when you might need to put your kids in the care of someone responsible at a moment's notice to deal with any number of issues. Maybe you need to rush your spouse to the hospital in the middle of the night; maybe you just want to go to the supermarket in peace. Whatever the case, it's not a bad idea to create a relationship — preferably with another parent so you can trade off and establish an equitable rapport — who can serve as your go-to lifesaver when you need to pawn off your kids in an instant.

3. A Local Handyperson Friend Who Will Give Your Issue Priority

Picture it: Sicily, 1922.

Just kidding. That's the famous catchphrase of the "Golden Girls'" Sophia Petrillo – I watch a lot of TV Land, you guys.

Picture this instead: It's 4 a.m. and your toilet is overflowing, so much that water and other toilet-esque things are seeping into your carpet and hardwood floors, and you need this stopped now. Who ya' gonna call?

Hopefully your friendly neighborhood handyperson, whom you've treated very well over the years and sufficiently compensated for his or her time and expertise, will be on the case in a flash. Hopefully.

If this person isn't currently in your life, make him or her part of it immediately and be the best friend you can be. Unless, of course, you like the idea of trying to stop the rush of gushing you-know-what with your bare hands in the middle of the night. Diff'rent strokes, I suppose. (See what I did there? Too much TV Land!)

4. That Friend Who Will Drop Everything to Help You Out

You know how when you're moving and you need help carrying those heavy boxes of books up four flights of stairs and everyone on your contact list is suddenly busy? You can still consider those folks friends, I guess (albeit very loosely), but if they can't help you schlep your junk around town just for the heck of it, don't be surprised when they let you down many other times.

Instead, keep close that one friend who's there for you no matter what, no matter when you need them. This is the guy or girl who's spending an otherwise lonely Friday night with you; the person whose shoulder you can cry on; the one who will never judge you; who will pick you up on the side of the road when your car breaks down at 2 a.m.; the bestie who will bring you soup when you're sick; the amigo who will, in the same day, trash talk your lousy significant other with you then embrace him with open arms when you inevitably take him back for the fifth time; and above all, this is the confidant who will keep your darkest, dirtiest secrets safe and sound forever and ever — no matter how much somebody is willing to pay for them.

As you know, these kind of friends are hard to find and even harder to keep. You're extremely lucky to have this person in your life — and don't you soon forget it.

5. A Co-Worker Who Will Cover for You When You Can't Get to the Office

Late for work because you overslept? Can't make it in until noon because your kid accidentally tried to burn down the house this morning? Life happens, and these situations will go over much smoother — perhaps even under the radar altogether — if you've made a pact with an influential co-worker to cover each other when one of you can't make it to work on time or at all on a particular day. This person can bring your important documents to you from the office or help you finish up a few things while you're handling your emergency.

Bonus: That Dude Down the Block Who's Building His Apocalyptic Hideaway

You've seen him bringing in large buckets of rice and gallons upon gallons of water, lots of ammunition and firearms, tactical gear, and enough wood and concrete to build a bunker (which he is definitely doing); and you probably think he's crazy. That will all change when the zombie apocalypse comes, which just got kind of real by the way, and he's basically your last hope for survival. When that day arrives, he'll probably forget your name and leave you to fend for yourself, but it's not a bad idea to invite this dude over for dinner tonight, get to know him, befriend him, and eventually ask him to legally adopt you so you can have at least a little peace of mind when the ish hits the fan. This impending end-of-the-world scenario is hypothetical of course, but so was space travel at one point. Ponder that.

Do you have other people that we should have in our "personal emergency kits?" Let me know in the comments below.

This article is from Mikey Rox of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

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