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6 Ways Good Credit Is Better Than a Boyfriend

Sarah Winfrey — Thu, 18 Jan 2018 09:00:07 +0000

Having good credit may not sound like much when compared to romance. After all, there aren’t many candlelit dinners, vases overflowing with roses, or long walks on the beach with good credit.

However, while having a significant other is a wonderful thing, a strong credit history can enhance your life in ways romance can't quite match. Here are some things that your love life can’t always promise you — but good credit can.

1. Good credit is always there for you

No matter when you need it — whether it’s the middle of the night, or the middle of the workday — good credit is always there for you. Even if you just want to check it again, one more time to feel more secure, good credit doesn’t think you're being clingy.

Good credit doesn’t require anything special to keep it happy: Simply keep up with smart money habits, and it will show up wherever and whenever you need it, whether it’s for a car loan, a home loan, or that new apartment you’ve been wanting. (See also: 6 Ways Life Is Better With Good Credit)

2. Good credit comes through in an emergency

Do you need to move across town quickly? Good credit will help you land an awesome new apartment. It will also help get your utilities set up without any deposits or letters of guarantee, making the whole process quick and painless.

Maybe your car got totaled and you need a loan for a new one, fast. Good credit will come through for you there, too, giving you a better chance of getting the best terms on the loan for your new ride. (See also: 5 Ways to Improve Your Credit Score Fast)

3. Good credit rewards you every day

When you have a solid credit score, you stand a much better chance of qualifying for the best rewards credit cards that fit your needs and lifestyle, and at a much lower rate. This means that every time you swipe, you’ll earn bonuses, miles, or cash back that will make your life a little sweeter. And it’s all thanks to good credit, who helped you land the cards in the first place.

A romantic partner might reward you on occasion, but there will undoubtedly be some rocky times. That high credit score, however, is committed to making your life a little better every single day. (See also: The Best Credit Cards for People With Excellent Credit)

4. Good credit saves you money

Birthdays, holidays, anniversaries: Significant others can be expensive! Good credit, on the other hand, helps keep your money in your pockets. You’ll pay less in deposits for things like utilities and mobile phone contracts. You’ll pay less in interest on loans and credit cards. Your auto insurance rates will be lower, too. Every day, you’ll have more money to spend on the things that make you happy, all courtesy of good credit.

5. Good credit helps you get a home

Buying a home with your significant other can be pretty scary. Buying a home with good credit, though, is easy. You'll get preapproved in a snap, and your mortgage payment will be lower thanks to a better rate. This will leave you with more room in the budget for things like decorating, dining out, and — most importantly — savings. (See also: What Is a Good Credit Score and Why Is It Important?)

6. Good credit helps you get your way

There’s no partner on earth who will let you have your way all the time — but good credit will. Maybe you need a small loan to cover an unexpected home repair. If you harness the negotiation power of a sky-high credit score, you can ask for a lower interest rate or a more attractive repayment plan. You can also shop around for the best quotes from different lenders, and leverage them to get an even better deal.

Romantic relationships make life worthwhile and so does having strong credit. Sometimes, romance is better — but other times, a good credit score is more comforting, reliable, supportive, and helpful than a boyfriend.

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This article is from Sarah Winfrey of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

Adventures in Retail Tedium

Kentin Waits — Fri, 18 Feb 2011 13:36:10 +0000

I usually try to avoid shopping retail for a long list of reasons. The prices offend me, the crowds annoy me, the selection overwhelms me, and often the quality disappoints me. A few days ago, however, I was forced by chance and time constraints to venture inside a large retail clothing chain — and that’s when the fun began. Allow me an Andy Rooney moment to tell you all about it.

First, some retailing think tank was obviously paid big bucks to figure out that sales increase .000214% when customers are greeted at the door. So, Clerk A greets me initially, Clerk B shortly follows suit, and Clerk C (not to be a policy-breaker) greets me a bit later. I know it’s a forced greeting. They know it’s a forced greeting. It smacks of compulsory cheer, and it annoys me beyond words. (See also: Seven Lessons Learned from Working Retail)

After the onslaught of chipper hellos, I notice next the loud dance music. I can only guess that the catchy techno-beats are played to encourage me to dance in the hopes that it may dislodge my wallet or induce a trance-like state where I begin to believe that paying $59 for a cotton oxford shirt is entirely reasonable. I dance my way through the rustic decor and elaborate signage — carefully designed to give the impression that the jeans and sweaters manufactured in Macau are actually handmade by happy artisans in rural Vermont.

Eventually I make my way to the counter to pay (or rather, over-pay) for my item. Since I’ve now been greeted three times, the staff and I are practically old friends and the clerk asks me if I’d like to save 15% by signing up for store credit card. I imagine this pitch works more often than not (how can one resist the logic behind a one-time 15% discount for the privilege of charging future items at a permanent 21% interest rate?). I decline with slightly clenched teeth, but a surprisingly upbeat tone.

But the checkout script has only just begun — there’s still the matter of the latest cause-marketing promotion. Would I like to round up my purchase and donate the extra dollars and cents to Cause X? Again, I decline. Don’t get me wrong; I’m all for supporting charitable causes, but I always wonder exactly what financial role the store plays in this promotion. And is it absolutely necessary to make every commercial transaction an occasion for a charitable request too?

The checkout script continues. Next the clerk explains that the survey link printed on the receipt provides me with a chance to give my valuable customer feedback online and potentially win a free gift (and I thought I was just coming in to buy a shirt!). A squadron of greeters, dance music, discounts, and now a prize — is this heaven, or is this an inescapable retail play loop that makes the nearest exit vanish down a long film-noir tunnel of doom? I dutifully acknowledge the survey opportunity with the hope that I will be allowed to leave quite soon.

Still, there’s one last detail on the retailer’s script that is the ridiculous cherry on the absurd sundae. It’s the question that must be asked. It’s the question that makes "paper or plastic?" seem nearly existential in comparison: Do I want the receipt with me or in the bag? I’ve always wanted to answer this question by asking one of my own: Won’t the bag be with me, and therefore, by default, the receipt will be with me too? I wonder what kind of record-keeping calamity might be wrought if my receipt ended up in the bag when I had expected it with me, or vice-versa.

It should have been simple: All I really wanted was to trade cash for a shirt. Yet I continued through the retail obstacle course, scaling figurative walls, zip-lining over mud puddles, running like mad on a floating log — and all for a prize of questionable worth. Why do we reward companies that create artificial complexity around what should the clearest and simplest of transactions?

I realize that this entire performance is designed to cultivate a retail "experience" — to commodify interaction with the goal of increasing sales. But what does this approach suggest about the merchandise itself? If items are well-constructed, reasonably classic or well-designed, and priced fairly, would we need five or six canned interactions to support the purchase of a pair of chinos or fleece pullover? Or could we be left to our own devices and would our better consumer be allowed to shine through?

This article is from Kentin Waits of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

Please Pass the October Surprise

Catherine Shaffer — Sat, 11 Oct 2008 13:49:49 +0000

I've always believed that mastery of vocabulary is at least halfway to mastery of the subject. Words are power--the kind of power commonly wielded by eggheads with pocket protectors, but power nonetheless. In the past weeks and months, I've seen a lot of new vocabulary thrown around in the media, and most of us are too busy ducking and diving out of the way to ask what all these crazy words mean. So let's demystify the language of the new economics, right here, right now. Here's a list of common terms you might encounter in your newspaper, on television, or even in a blog.

Commercial paper: This is an IOU, good for maybe a month or two. Unlike a regular IOU, it's written for very large amounts, and companies accept them from each other pretty much without question. Apparently, commercial paper is the way that many companies meet payroll and buy inventory. I always thought they used money. Who knew?

Credit default swap: Halfway between an insurance policy and a racetrack wager, this is a way that mortgage lenders made themselves feel safe giving loans to people about whom they otherwise knew nothing. No job? No documentation? No problem. We have a credit default swap.

Subprime debacle: The inevitable outcome of widespread use of credit default swaps to back sketchy loans. The word 'debacle' has somewhat of a Victorian ring to my ear. It sounds like something that might happen in “The Importance of Being Earnest.” This is how the whole mess was described earlier this year, when we were all in an enviable state of denial. Notably, a 'debacle' is nothing that ever happens to oneself. It always happens to other people. Like the time our neighbors, a husband and wife, met each other driving separate cars in opposite directions on our street, and proceeded to have a very loud argument between the two cars. Boy, was that ever a debacle. So glad I wasn't involved!

Liquidity crisis: Until recently, I would have told you that a liquidity crisis is what happened when my sixty-pound puppy wasn't put outside often enough. But apparently, 'liquidity crisis' is actually what happens when you can't borrow enough money to keep going. Next time your buddy asks you for $100, just until next payday, you'll know he's having a liquidity crisis. Let's just hope that his employer is not relying on commercial paper to make payroll, or his liquidity crisis will become yours. Which, when I think about it, is the essential circular nature of this whole mess.

Tranch: This is a silly, made-up word that big investor types use to explain why they can't look closely at the history of individual mortgages bought and sold by their companies. See, it's in a “tranch.” It's meant to evoke bundles, or “bunches,” which are sort of shrink-wrapped so you can't open them up and look in side. Someone once suggested calling them “faggots,” but that idea was quickly shouted down.

Toxic assets: Imagine that pirates Larry and Lunt from Jonah, the Veggie Tales movie, had successfully invested their prize money from the Mr. Twisty's Twisted Cheese Curls Sweepstakes in cheese curls, as they wished to do. And suppose that after they bought those cheese curls, but before they had a chance to resell them at a profit, they learned that the cheese curls had been manufactured in China (not Nineveh), and that they had high levels of melamine...

Mortgage meltdown: This is the same as subprime debacle, but a bit later in history, when everyone is feeling that it is not so funny anymore. It's like those neighbors shouting in the street are suddenly in your living room, and their car is parked in your driveway, and their trunk is full of those toxic cheese curls, and it turns out they are radioactive, not toxic, and they are going into nuclear meltdown!

Irrational despair: This is one half of a very small set of emotions which Wall Street stock traders are capable of (the other being irrational exuberance). Their severely limited emotional range literally controls our economy, while regulators feebly scold them from afar.

Economic collapse: In physics, there is conservation of matter and energy. Sadly, there is no law of conservation of money in economics. Money can simply disappear, and if enough of it does so, you have economic collapse.

Iceland: A small country in the extreme north populated by the descendants of Vikings which has recently experienced economic collapse (see above). If not rescued by other nations of the world, Iceland will have no choice but to replenish its coffers by raiding the coastlines of Europe and America. Guys with names like Sven and Eric Ericson, with Swedish Chef accents, will be burning our houses and raping our women. Also, they will be sending millions of emails that read, “Dear Friend, We would like to offer you a unique business opportunity...” (with Swedish Chef accents).

October surprise: As if having toilet paper in your trees and rotten pumpkins smashed in your driveway were not enough of a surprise, the October surprise is lore believed by stockbrokers and other Wall Street types (see 'Irrational despair,' above). Apparently, people who work in the New York Stock Exchange are among the most superstitious people on Earth. To a man, they take vacations each year in Ireland to hunt leprechauns, and can be found any time clutching rabbits feet, voodoo charms, saints medallions, and all manner of good luck items. Apparently, these denizens of the trading floor believe bad things happen in October, and in the way of many such prophecies, it happens to frequently be self-fulfilling.

So that, in a nutshell, is the lingo. Know it, understand it, use it wisely. And yet, one thing is still missing. We still don't have a comprehensive phrase to describe the whole phenomenon. I submitted my entry, “The Great Economic Shitstorm of 2008,” to Ben Bernanke, but I haven't received a response from him yet.

This article is from Catherine Shaffer of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

Cheapskate on Board

Jeff Yeager — Thu, 27 Dec 2007 01:22:13 +0000

“Jeff! I was just talking about you. Are your ears burning?”

I resisted the urge to give my usual response: “No. But my colon is on fire.”

After all, Will Chin was going to be my new editor-in-boss here at WiseBread. Don’t want to get off on the wrong foot with the Boss Man. Particularly since I was calling Will to reconfirm that he wouldn’t be editing my posts if I agreed to sign on as a WiseBread blogger. As my Mom always told me, “save the potty humor for later, Jeffrey.”

So, now that the deal is inked, I can introduce myself and let my true frugal flag unfurrel. Sorry Will. (But in deference to you and your profession, I’ll at least wait until my next post to start with the lawyer jokes.)

**********

My name is Jeff Yeager, and I’m the Cheapest Man in America. What? Don’t believe me? Just ask my poooor wife, Denise. She should know. After all, we’ve been married 24 years, or, as Denise says, “nearly three and a half wonderful years.” Not all at once, mind you.

I’m also a freelance writer, and I occasionally appear on the NBC Today Show reporting on, well, cheap stuff. My first book, “The Ultimate Cheapskate’s Road Map to True Riches – A Practical (and Fun) Guide to Enjoying Life More by Spending Less”, comes out this week from Random House/Broadway Books. I write what the publisher describes as “an offbeat blend of original humor and practical advice for living well on less.” My wife describes it “Jeff being Jeff.”

In short, I believe that living on less is a good thing to do. It’s the only financial advice that will work for almost everyone. It’s about a quality of life you cannot buy, a sense of satisfaction you cannot fake, and an appreciation for others that gives life value. It’s also about helping to save the planet and sharing with those in need. Simply put, living on less can be funny, but it’s not a joke.

***********

Yeah, and this consumer crazed culture we live in can be funny all right --- as in, if you don’t laugh you’ll cry. For example, every year Americans spend about $2 billion – an amount roughly equal to the GDP of poverty stricken Guyana - on unwanted hair removal (e.g. electrolysis, bikini waxes, etc.). We also spend a matching $2 billion annually on often futile attempts to promote hair growth (e.g. Rogaine, hair transplants, etc.).

So, I guess the good new is, as a nation we believe we have the right amount of hair. The bad news is location, location, location.

***********

I’m looking forward to exploring the Realm of the Cheap with all of you here on WiseBread.

Stay Cheap!

Jeff Yeager

The Ultimate Cheapskate

This article is from Jeff Yeager of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

101 things to do with a $1 bill.

Paul Michael — Sat, 09 Jun 2007 22:32:20 +0000

What can a dollar buy you these days? Certainly not a gallon of gas, which it could have done 6 years ago. Anyway, this idea actually came out of a lunchtime chat with some friends. I’m a sucker for writing lists and I wondered how many different uses I could find for your humble $1 bill. Some are fun, some are silly, some may actually be useful. The list took me a whole week to compile. Enjoy.

Save it (sorry, but this is Wisebread).
Become a very small partner in a very small business.
Mail it to someone, anyone, in the phone book (you’ll have to find a stamp).
Buy a few bites of someone’s pizza slice.
Make an expensive paper airplane.
Cash it in for 100 pennies and drop them everywhere (it’s good luck for people).
Alternately, use those 100 pennies for 100 wishes in a fountain.
Light a cigar with it (shame on you, for smoking too).
Use it to win a crappy stuffed toy from a grabbing machine.
Give it to the homeless guy in the city center.
Double it every day. You’ll be a millionaire in just 20 days.
Borrow 7 cents and buy something from the dollar menu.
Make a bet to trade the lives of a stockbroker and conman.
Swap it for a shiny English 50 pence piece.
Get fake attention from a stripper for roughly 5 seconds.
Buy a scratch card and turn your $1 into a piece of garbage.
Buy a Powerball ticket, dream for a day (if you win, you owe me).
Get a bargain from Goodwill and help a charity at the same time.
Frame it (especially if it’s the first dollar you ever earned).
Request a song from the busker in your local town center.
Buy and read a classic novel from a used bookstore. Then sell it for $1.
Develop 10 digital photos and create a mini album of memories.
Put it down as extra principal on your mortgage, pay off your house 0.00000000000000000001 years earlier (best guess).
Cut it into small pieces and create extravagant confetti.
Use it as a clue in the ancient hunt for hidden government treasure.
Photocopy your butt multiple times and decorate your cubicle at work.
Download a legal song from iTunes.
Stock up on a week’s supply of Ramen noodles.
Get one third of a loaf of decent 7-grain bread.
Buy a full day’s food for a poor family in India.
Get the silence of a child if you buy a big sucker pop.
Buy one share of an ailing corporation.
Buy one-thirtieth of one share in Microsoft.
Put it on the end of a fishing line and catch yourself a Wisebread reader.
Bribe an office worker for a tip about what to do with $1 (thanks K).
Write a message of hope on it that will pass through the hands of many people
Or, doodle a moustache on Mr. Washington you little rebel.
Exchange it for the new $1 coin and hunt for a vending machine that accepts it.
Eat it (probably healthier than eating anything off the dollar menu).
Try and fold it in half more than seven times (supposedly impossible).
Buy 10 copies of Vanilla Ice’s fabulous 1991 movie “Cool As Ice.”
Make a fortune by betting on a winning horse with odds of 50,000 – 1.
Purchase a $1 million bill from a magic store and cash it at WalMart
Buy a newspaper and read yesterday’s news.
Sign it and sell it on eBay for big $$$ (this only works if you’re famous).
Fold it into a rude and amusing shape and give your friends a laugh.
Bet someone $1 you can dance worse than M.C.Hammer. Lose bet.
Tear it in half and give one piece to your true love.
Get half of your shirt dry-cleaned.
Buy a sheet of paper and a pencil. Write an award-winning short story.
Bury it. Dig it up 200 years from now and hey presto, it’s an antique.
Get a haircut. Which hair is up to you.
Roll it into a tube shape and use it as a feeble straw.
Buy a year’s supply of food for your pet worm.
Spend one hour at the penny arcade.
Get your palm read at the carnival (for $1 your fortune may be bleak).
Buy a key ring, open up a gift shop at the airport and sell it for $10.
Visit the $1 section in Target, close your eyes and pick up a lovely surprise.
Buy a bunch of jaw breakers and shove them all in your mouth.
Exchange it on Craigslist for something cool, like a jigsaw with 5 missing pieces.
Knit yourself a one-fingered glove.
Slice it into tiny strips, join the ends together and create a jump rope.
Buy a tub of imitation playdough and regress to childhood.
Make lemonade out of lemons; two for a buck at most supermarkets.
Write, direct, produce and star in your own seriously low-budget movie.
Team up with 100,000 other folks with $1 and have an enormous party.
Or, team up with a billion other folks with $1 and feed the hungry.
Buy a $1 gift card to your favorite store.
Fill your tires with air and vacuum the car’s interior.
Buy two large rubber bands and make your own designer thong.
Buy a pay-per-view episode of a show you could have seen for free last week.
Rent a car for 10 minutes.
Put it through a cross-cut shredder for a cheap jigsaw puzzle.
Shrink it to the size of a stamp using Wonkavision (Wonka fans, unite)
Blow your nose on it (cheaper than a handkerchief, ~~but not washable~~ < thanks Colin)
Travel back to 1885 and pop it in a savings account.
Paint it red and pretend it’s a dollar left to you by a Martian.
Give it to the guy in Robocop who always said “I’ll buy that for a dollar.”
Fold it into a V-shape, lengthways, and use it to pour spices into small jars.
Buy some Tic-Tacs for the chain-smoking coffeeholic at work.
Fold it accordion-style and make a hand fan.
Write “the crow flies at midnight” on it and pass it to a complete stranger, winking.
Roll it into a ball and let your pet mice recreate the 2006 World Cup final.
Keep it in the bathroom as a last resort for those ‘no toilet paper!’ emergencies.
Stick it to your arm and create a cheap and non-painful tattoo.
Glue it to the underside of a glass table and watch the hilarious results.
Ask a complete moron to swap it for a $100 bill (if this works, let me know).
Tape it to your forehead. When people ask why, say your name is Bill.
Bet George Lucas he can’t create a worse character than Jar Jar Binks. Win bet.
Throw it into the path of an F6 tornado; watch it slice through a tree.
Flush it down the toilet or buy shares in newly bankrupted Amp’d mobile.
Give it to the CEO of a major oil company, along with the shirt off your back.
Drop it at your accountant’s office to test his/her honesty.
Get something cool in your local Discovery Channel Store’s closing down sale.
Buy ¼ of a bag of popcorn at the movie theater.
Purchase enough paint to completely redecorate one wall of the dog kennel.
Give it to your grandma to say thank you for all the times she gave you a $1.
Save it until the day after Valentine’s Day and buy a big bag of candy.
Get front-row tickets to the New Kids On The Block comeback tour.
Take it to a scientist to prove that money does not actually talk.
Write a list of 101 things to do with a $1 bill on the back of it.

Blurry but cool pic by Dances Fantastic. Thanks.

This article is from Paul Michael of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

You know you're a Wisebread reader if...

Paul Michael — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 23:10:53 +0000

What makes a Wisebread reader? Why are you guys so, well, special? I sat, I pondered, I scribbled down notes furiously. This is what I came up with. It's a small list, just 30 entries. I have a feeling you crafty folks will have more to add before the week is out. So here we go.

YOU KNOW YOU'RE A WISEBREAD READER IF...

…you haggle for a lower price at the dollar store.
…the first part of the paper you turn to is the coupon booklet.
…you still have t-shirts in your closet from the 80s.
…you find more than two uses for almost everything you own.
…your eyes go straight to the discount stickers in Target.
…you’ll search online for three days straight to find the cheapest flights.
…spending more than $100 makes you sweat a little.
…you’ll ask for a doggie bag for one forkful of leftover food.
…you can find designer clothes at WalMart prices.
…mail-in rebates are not a challenge but a way of life.
…a dumpster can also be a treasure-trove of goodies.
…you can create a decent 3-course meal for $3.
…you get more free stuff in a week than most people get in a year.
…you live life much larger than your overpaid boss.
…you have savings for a rainy day, a sunny day and a snowy day.
…you think Rachel Ray is being extravagant on $40 a day.
…people ask you about good deals before searching the web.
…you really can get blood out of a stone.
…it’s not a bargain until it’s at least 70% off.
…you won’t check-out at an online store without a promo code.
…you’ve never paid more than $50 for a 3-star hotel room.
…store brands fill your pantry.
…the 10-second rule is absolutely, positively something you endorse.
…refurbished or reconditioned means just one thing – deal.
…you check your receipts twice before you leave the store.
…you’ve set the alarm for 2am to hit the Black Friday sales.
…and you also have battle scars from those sales.
…you believe there really is such a thing as a free lunch (and have proof).
…stale food is not a problem, it’s an opportunity.
…your heart rate rises when you hear the words sale, clearance or bargain.

Great haggling photo by Fazen . Thanks!

This article is from Paul Michael of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

Would imminent diarrhea beat a speeding ticket? Deadline extended.

Paul Michael — Wed, 21 Mar 2007 03:56:16 +0000

I thought of that one about three hours after I got my speeding ticket. Clever huh?

"What if", I thought "I'd told the police officer that I had a seriously bad case of stomach flu and I needed to get to a bathroom quickly before I ruined the fabric permanently on my new Civic?" Would that work? Could you do better? How about you send in your ideas and I'll give the best one a little prize.

I was actually going to write a very long, serious article about beating a speeding ticket, but I thought better of it. After all, I was speeding. Not by much, and in a speed trap to be honest, but I'm a grown man who can read signs. And 99% of the time, we're at fault anyway. I suspect most of us would fail our test if we had to take it again today.

But I thought it would be a fun idea to see what wonderful, crazy, absurd ideas the good Wisebread readers have thought about to get out of a speeding ticket. Of course, being female helps. I'm sorry if that sounds sexist but I did a straw poll at work. Of all the folks who had been caught speeding, the ladies have been given a warning far more times than the guys. In fact, only 1 guy in the whole department of 78 people had been let off. Compare that to EVERY woman who had been let off at least once in her life. Why? Maybe a cop can write in and answer that one.

HOW TO ENTER:
Just leave your whacky idea as a comment in this blog post, and use your real email address (which will not be displayed publicly, no worries). They can be as off-the-wall nuts as you like (but keep it clean folks). I'll get together with the WB head-honchos and we'll decide who gets the rather fabulous prize of a Mini RC car. Hey ok, so it's not all that fab. But it will get you into less trouble than a real car. You've all got until April 13th at 11.59pm to get your answers in. Have fun with it, and I look forward to seeing the results. I already gave you the diarrhea idea, but here are a few more I thought may work...

I'm sorry officer, I have a split personality and my alter-ego Jock was speeding.
I wasn't speeding. The rotation of the Earth momentarily accelerated.
You know, I gave $20 to the police officers fund this year. Wink.
Speeding? There's no way I could be speeding, I'm way too high to do that.
Is that a speed gun in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me? (oh, it's a speed gun)

And remember, if you're serious about winning the little car, make sure you use a real email address so we can inform you that you've won and you're very smart and very clever and could indeed sell ice to Eskimos.

This article is from Paul Michael of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

iPhone - More features unveiled

Paul Michael — Mon, 05 Mar 2007 21:54:41 +0000

I know we've had a lot of chit-chat back and forth over the past month about the iPhone. Well, it looks like those boffins are giving you even more value for money. I particularly like the sideburns.

This article is from Paul Michael of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

25 tips from the frugally insane.

Paul Michael — Wed, 21 Feb 2007 18:17:08 +0000

You know, saving money is a serious business. Sometimes, too serious. So now and then I like to inject a little fun into the proceedings. Back when I was a little younger, I would ocassionally glance at the magazines my mom would read. They were the usual "mom" magazines, like Good Housekeeping, Bella, that kind of thing. And there was always a spot dedicated to tips sent in from readers. You know the ones — "A little club soda and salt will clean up any stain."

Then I found a magazine called VIZ, a comic for grown-ups. And they did what I can only describe as the funniest parody of frugality I have ever read. As you are all fans of saving a few pennies, I thought I'd share these insane tips with you. Trust me when I say that the only use they serve is to give you an occasional chuckle. Enjoy.

1. Save a Fortune on Laundry Bills

Give your dirty shirts to a local charity shop. They'll wash and iron them and you can buy them back for 50 cents.

2. Create Instant Designer Stubble

Suck on a magnet and dip your chin into a bowl of iron filings.

3. Food on the Move

A hedgehog, trained to scuttle up and down the table from guest to guest, makes an unusual and cheap mobile appetizer dispenser at cocktail parties.

4. Foil Pick-Pockets

Place a freshly toasted Pop-Tart in each pocket. Would-be thieves will quickly rupture the fragile pastry and receive nasty finger burns from the steaming hot jam inside.

5. Snake-mobile

A length of plastic drainpipe with a roller skate at each end makes an ideal home-made "car" for snakes.

6. Clingy Contacts

Can’t afford contact lenses? Simply cut out small circles of clingwrap and press them into your eyes.

7. The Bucket Trick

Stop bread from drying out by keeping it in a bucket of water.

8. Close Observations

Don't waste money buying expensive binoculars. Simply stand closer to the object you wish to view.

9. Jet Setter

Avoid jet lag by simply taking an earlier flight, thus arriving fully refreshed and on time.

10. Smart Siphon

Put a stop to car thieves by siphoning off all your gas whenever you park your car, and carrying it round with you in one or two plastic buckets.

11. Potato Puzzle

Why pay for expensive jigsaws? Just take a bag of frozen fries from the freezer and try piercing together potatoes.

12. Smell Gas?

Locate the suspected leak by striking an ordinary match in every room in the house until a loud explosion reveals the source of the escaping gas.

13. The Butter Trick

Always keep a stick of butter in your pocket so that if you get your head stuck in railings you'll be able to grease your ears and slide out.

14. Sunless Tan

Exterior wood stain is a cheap, long-lasting and attractive alternative to sun-bed treatments.

15. Office Workers

Avoid distractions from your important paperwork by making "blinkers" out of two post-it note stickers, one stuck to each temple.

16. Lights Out

Save electricity by turning off all the lights in your house and walking around wearing a miner's hat.

17. Fast Wipe

Avoid parking tickets by leaving your windscreen wipers turned to 'fast wipe' whenever you leave your car parked illegally.

18. Personal Address Book

Old telephone directories make ideal, free personal address books. Simply cross out the names and addresses of people you don't know.

19. Bye-Bye Bookmark

When reading a book try tearing out the pages as you read them. This saves the expense of buying a bookmark.

20. Give It a Push

Save on gas by pushing your car to your destination. Invariably passers-by will think you've broken down and help.

21. Who Needs Wheels?

Avoid being wheel-clamped by jacking up your car, removing the wheels, and locking them safely in the trunk until you return.

22. Duct Tape Bath

No time for a bath? Wrap yourself in duct tape and remove the dirt by simply peeling it off.

23. Beware of Bees

Hair gels are expensive. Jelly is a much cheaper alternative, but beware of bees in the summer.

24. Faux Hangove

Save on alochol by drinking cold tea instead of scotch. The following morning you can create the effects of a hangover by drinking a tablespoon of dish soap and banging your head repeatedly on the wall.

25. International Master Criminals

It is possible to make your fortune. Simply tell your guards to shoot James Bond in the head at the first opportunity. Under no circumstances give him a guided tour of your base, or leave him in the custody of attractive women in bikinis.

This article is from Paul Michael of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

Afraid, Yet Smitten - You Haven't Heard of Violent Acres Yet?

Andrea Karim — Fri, 05 Jan 2007 23:02:00 +0000

So, if you have yet to read the writings of The Terrifyingly Funny Evil Blog Queen V at Violent Acres (and you should have, since handsome studmuffin Will Chen linked her in his Top 20 Savvy Living Stories You Missed This Year), then you're in for a real treat/therapy session. Someone sent me a link to her story about How to Fight, which is, hands-down, one of my favorite blog posts ever. But more topical, at least for this site, is her three-part series on financial indepedence.

It’s about changing your perceptions, re-evaluating your wants and needs, and gaining the ability to make your own choices even if they go against the grain. A little self discovery will take you farther than any spread sheet I could show you. I guess the real question is: How bad do you want it?

V has created a good deal of controversy over her statements, and has earned herself a good number of enemies in the blogging community in a short amount of time. All kinds of claims are made about her (she's a man, she's fat, she uses technology to somehow twist her site traffic), but none of that matters to me. If someone can make me laugh out loud while my jaw drops, then they get my linking.

I'm not going to endorse or criticize her opinions, because I'm kind of afraid that she will try to cut me. So I'm just linking — but be warned, V wouldn't exactly fit in in a "positive" blog environment, so she probably won't be on our (future) blog roll. But she has some GREAT ideas about money, management, saving, and investing.

This article is from Andrea Karim of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread: