peace

Be at Peace in Less Than 5 Minutes

Henri Junttila — Thu, 20 May 2010 12:00:03 +0000

Have you ever caught yourself hurrying when you don't even know where you're going? Do you ever find yourself stressed out when there's no reason to be?

We live in a hectic society. Our minds have been conditioned to be stressed all the time. We are told to relax, but there's a problem: We don't know how. You probably don't have time to learn yoga or meditation. You probably don't even have time to take a few weeks off, and if you do, all you can do is think about work. It's a vicious cycle that never seems to end. Even though I've never worked a real job in my life, I've found myself stressed and burned out several times.

There's a simple, universal secret to being at peace and eliminating stress, fear, and anxiety. It's so simple that you've probably heard about it thousands of times, but dismissed it.

You Are Naturally at Peace

There's nothing you have to do to be at peace. At our core we are joyful. Look at children. When they are born, they're happy, but once they start learning how we "should" behave, they pick up habits and become increasingly unhappy.

There's nothing you have to strive for. When you peel away the layers you've accumulated through the years, you'll notice yourself smiling more and enjoying the little things. Sure, your ego will object and say, "Hey, there are lots of things I have to strive for. I need this, that and the other thing." But when you really look at it, you see that happiness and peace is not external, it's internal.

Marketers and advertisers know how to push your buttons. They constantly have you feeling like you haven't got enough, that you aren't enough. It's a science, and they've figured it out. Realize that you do not have to listen to everything your mind says. You are not your thoughts. You are the observer.

Getting Caught in the Drama

Imagine waking up with a smile on your face and not a worry in the world. Sure, you may have things you have to do, but you no longer obsessively think about them. If you make what I am about to tell you a habit, this is not only possible, but probable. You have to be consistent, because if you are, you will see results, just like I have.

What I'm talking about is gratitude. Being grateful for what you have not only melts away fear, it also alters the way your brain functions. It's easy to get caught up in the daily drama of life, but when you think about it, you have a lot to be grateful for.

I know you may have your problems. We all do. It doesn't matter how successful you are, you will always have problems in your life, so why not be happy right now?

How to Be at Peace

We're used to focusing on the negative, and that has to end if you want to be at peace. I'm not telling you to ignore your problems. I'm saying that dwelling on them gets you nowhere. So how exactly can you be at peace in less than five minutes?

Focus on What You're Grateful For

Contrary to what you may believe, you can be grateful for pretty much anything. You can even be grateful for the negative things in your life, because the mere act of saying thank you will fill your heart with positivity.

Sit down in a quiet place, close your eyes, and take 10 slow, deep breaths. Feel yourself becoming increasingly relaxed and begin thinking about what brings you joy. It may be your health, your family, your friends, or just thinking about the fact that you have a roof over your head and food on your table. We take the simplest things for granted. This is an exercise where you remind yourself that things aren't as bad as they seem.

Consistency is Key

In order to stay consistent with this, you will have to establish some kind of routine. You could keep a special gratitude journal by your bed. Begin by writing down one thing you're grateful for tonight. Tomorrow you can write down two things, and keep going.

In the beginning, this may be hard, but if you keep doing it, you will be overwhelmed by the amount of things you can be grateful for. Now it's up to you to take the ball and run with it. This really works. It has been scientifically proven. You have the control to be happier.

It may not be easy in the beginning, but look at your options. Do you really want to be stressed out for the rest of your life, or do you want to be at peace?

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Guest Post Blurb:

This is a guest post by Henri Junttila. Read more by Henri at his blog, The Wake Up Cloud:

This article is from Henri Junttila of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

The things that money just can't buy

Paul Michael — Mon, 25 Jun 2007 04:19:43 +0000

After reading Ed's post about Afluenza , I began thinking long and hard about what I have in my life that really matters to me. It's all very well keeping up with the Joneses, but at the end of the day it really doesn't mean anything. I was talking to a fireman a few months ago and he said that time after time, the things people run back into a blazing house for are not valuable (as far as other people are concerned). It's not the big-screen TV or the gold Rolex. No, it's the family photo albums, the teddy bear granny gave you 30 years ago, or the love letters from your sweetheart who is now your loving partner.

So really, what are the things in life that truly matter? What is it that we're all searching for, and that no amount of money can buy? I think I have a list. It may not be the list you would attribute to yourself, it may not even be complete as far as you're concerned. But I think most of us would like the things contained within my list. And there's not a shiny Porsche or a 4000 sq ft house anywhere on it.

Love
I would be a fool not to put it first. I think at the end of the day, no amount of money and 'stuff' can fill the void left by a lack of real love. Let's be clear, I'm not talking about the kind of love you can get by flashing your BMW key fob at a bar in the hopes of trading money for a soul-mate (who'll leave you as soon as the money runs out). It's the love you get from your partner, when you look into his or her eyes and feel whole, safe and secure. It's the love of your child, hugging you for dear life and begging you not to go to work today. It's love that comes with no strings. Unconditional. Rich or poor. Good times and bad. If I were to measure my wealth by the love I get from my wife, my daughters and my close family, well, I'd be right up there with Mr. Gates.

Respect
Once again, as with many things on this list, you can buy a version of respect. Of course you can. The fawning that store-owners will do around wealthy people (remember the Pretty Woman scene?) could be taken as respect. Or the suck-ups in the office who'll do anything to get the attention of the big boss; that could also be considered as respect. But is it? It's a simple solve. Take away the money and power and is the respect still there? Sometimes it is. I've had some great bosses, with amazing hearts and awe-inspiring values. Rich or poor, I'd be tipping my head with respect. I've also had complete egotistical maniac bosses, surrounded by people with venom in their eyes and hate filling their souls. Take the power and money away from my last boss and there'd be people waiting in line to kick this guy where it hurts. Respect has to be earned, not bought. You actions define it, and your history with people is key. Be honest, be true, and treat others as you yourself would like to be treated. Be fair, be kind, be strong, be thoughtful and be inspiring. Respect will follow, whether you've got $6 billion in the bank, or $60.

Friendship
I was once told that the friends you keep are a good indication of what kind of person you are. I took a look at my close circle of friends, and I was quite happy with what I saw. Funny, honest, caring, genuine people. The kind of people that make you happy to go to work every day. The folks that would give you their last dime if you needed it. I don't have a lot of friends. But every one of them is a great person with a kind heart. If you want, you can buy friendships as easily as you can buy a new suit. But those kind of friends will not stick by you through bad times. Most won't even stay through mediocre times. So, take a look at the people who really mean the world to you. Think of the people you'd want by you when times are a little rough. You'll see that those kind of friends are absolutely priceless.

Forgiveness
I'm talking about true forgiveness here, not the kind you get for muttering a half-hearted apology under your breath (while giving a cheap gift you picked up at the drug store). Real forgiveness for something bad you've done can't be bought. You can't bribe someone to forget the past. I doubt even Donald Trump, with all his supposed billions, could buy the forgiveness of anyone he's truly wounded deeply. The only way to get it, if you're going to get it at all, is by earning it. By proving that you not only feel genuinely bad about what you did, but also that their forgiveness means everything to you. Try handing over $10,000 and saying "hey, I'm sorry I slept with your best friend and your mom...at the same time."

Happiness
Yes, it's a cliche. I think that a severe lack of money can make you unhappy, but I'd say that no amount of money can make you genuinely happy. I've read stories of lottery winners who wished they'd never seen a dime. Their friends turned on them, they were harrassed day and night. How many rich celebs are in rehab or seeing therapists because they are unhappy? "More money, more problems" seems so often the case. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not saying I wouldn't like a little more cash. But I'm already happy with my life. I love my family, my friends, my job. But if you're sat there thinking money will make everything great, and if you only had $1 million you'd be so much happier, I'm fairly positive that the short-lived elation will be replaced by depression soon enough.

Talent
I struggled with this one for a while. After all, I'd hate to stop parents putting their kids through piano classes, art classes, singing lessons and so on. But I genuinely believe that true talent cannot be bought, only improved upon. Take a look at the infamous Paris Hilton to see that no amount of money could make her a good singer or actress. And yet musicians, sports stars and actors around the world often emerge from very poor backgrounds. I myself have no real talent for grammar or prose (you simply need to read any of my posts to see that I am far from eloquent). But I do have a way of motivating people, which is why I landed a job in advertising. My wife is pursuing a career in photography because both myself and my friends saw in her a natural talent. An eye for a great picture. The technical stuff, that can be learned and paid for through classes. But raw talent...now that's not for sale at any price (sorry Mr. Federline, you can't pick it up at WalMart on special).

Immortality
Obviously no-one can live forever. But people try and live on through art, literature, music and other such pursuits. Sure, you can erect a giant statue of yourself or buy a whole bunch of buildings (Mr. Trump is constantly trying to buy his way into the history books). But in the end, it's not money but our actions that can get us ever-lasting life. The great thinkers and musicians of our time did not purchase a ticket to fame...they earned it. From Einstein to The Beatles, Archimedes to Mozart, real immortality comes not from a big pile of gold but huge pile of talent and perseverence.

Peace
I saved the biggest till last. Peace cannot come from a fat wallet or bank vault. Real peace comes from ideas. Talking, thinking, and being empathetic and understanding every single day can bring about more peace than any money could ever buy. If we were all just a little more tolerant of other people, a little more forgiving and a little less obsessed with the mighty dollar, we may just see that money really isn't what life is all about. It's about loving your neighbor, caring for your family and telling your friends how much they mean to you. It's not going to solve world hunger immediately, it's not going to put an end to the war in Iraq. But at the end of the day, if we could all just see that we're not all that different and our petty squabbles are just that, then maybe we could move an inch closer to Nirvana here on Earth.

I know this whole post has made me wide open to all sorts of comments and criticism, but I'll take it all in my stride. Is it so bad to want things to be better? And is it really so bad to say that the biggest and best things in your life don't have to cost you a penny? Now that's what living large on a small budget is all about my friends. Peace out.

Inspiring photo from The Stock Exchange

This article is from Paul Michael of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

Financial Change: How to find peace in the midst of it all

Sarah Winfrey — Thu, 07 Jun 2007 17:23:48 +0000

Your finances are up! Your finances are down! Your finances are shaking their booty at you while giving the finger to your debtors and creditors alike, and then stalking out the door when you try to sit them down to have a calm conversation about what is realistic! What are you ever going to do?

Seriously, your financial situation can change (more often for the worse!) at the drop of a hat. How do you keep your equilibrium when everything is going crazy? How do you remain calm when the money you thought you had seems to have sprouted legs and run away?

1. Remember that you are not your financial situation. In our culture, we're tempted to think that how much money a person has (or how much stuff he can buy at any given time) indicates the kind of person he is. If he has money, he's worth getting to know. If he doesn't, then he might not be such a good friend. When we flesh it out like that, it's clear that it doesn't make sense when we're dealing with other people. So remember the same thing when it comes to yourself. Just because you had to spend the money you've been saving for your Hawaiian cruise on fixing the pipes because you learned the hard way that they leak doesn't mean you're irresponsible or unreliable, or that nothing good will ever happen in your life. It means that life sucks right now, and someday it will be better.

2. Get away. When things change rapidly, a human being is automatically under a good deal of stress, even if the change is good. So before you make any important decisions or act on anything that could possibly have an effect on your finances, get away. It doesn't have to be far. Maybe you have an office or a studio where you can close the door and focus on something else for awhile. Maybe you can get in the car and drive for an hour or so, or go to the park or walk the dog or go for a run or disappear into your favorite book. It doesn't matter what you do, as long a you give yourself some time to calm down before making decisions. While this doesn't guarantee that your decisions will be good, it does make it less likely that you'll do something rash that you'll later regret.

3. It's ok to talk about it. It's ok to talk about your financial situation with safe people. Talking with people we can trust helps us human beings process, helps us grieve our losses and celebrate our victories. It helps us find out where we really are, particularly if we're likely to be in denial or make things into a wost-case scenario in our own minds. We talk about other difficult things, like illness, death, and disappointment, and it's ok to talk about money, too. In fact, talking about it often helps us feel less alone and more like the situation is something we can handle.

4. It's ok to feel. Losing money rapidly makes us angry, hurt, scared, and host of other emotions usually seen as negative. Gaining it rapidly makes us excited, happy, and hopeful. Feeling these emotions and not cramming them down into an inside pocket helps mitigate some of the stress. It's ok to cry, scream, weep, jump for joy, whatever. We want to be healthy in this, to not take out our anger at being fired on our family or friends, and feeling the emotions will actually help us do that. When we feel emotions in the context in which they really exist (being fired), we are less likely to have them burst out of us in other places (family, friends).

5. Remember to breathe. The simple act of focusing on our breath helps us feel relaxed and empowered. Take deep breaths. Watch your diaphragm move in and out while keeping your shoulders level. Count your breaths, or sing in your head to the slow beat they create. In addition to helping with relaxation, focus, and letting go, feeling our bodies and how they are still intact and strong even though externally things are wretched gives us perspective on those things. They could, truly, be much, much worse.

6. Accept the truth. Financial situations change. They just do. Things break and cost money to fix. A child is injured and hospital bills are expensive. These things happen. They are true and real and, while they truly, really suck, accepting them as our current reality helps us move on. This is hard, much harder than many of the things we do, but it is necessary. Even if we can only accept it part of the time or under certain circumstances, accepting it at all will help us relax and deal with what is at hand, rather than have to deal with feeling gypped and cheated on top of everything else. Accepting truth frees us to act in that truth.

7. Let it go. Eventually, we must move on. We must not allow our whole selves and our lives to revolve around our financial situation in a particular minute. Once we've accepted that this, whatever it is, is true and real and what is happening at the moment, we can also see that life is more than this. There are other things equally true and real, and those things are good. We must let it be enough that those exist. From this perspective, we can deal with the financial situation when we have to but not let it overwhelm us or the rest of our lives.

Astonishingly gorgeous picture by Jan the Manson.

This article is from Sarah Winfrey of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread: