confidence http://www.wisebread.com/taxonomy/term/6064/all en-US 4 Ways to Bounce Back From Job Rejection http://www.wisebread.com/4-ways-to-bounce-back-from-job-rejection <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/4-ways-to-bounce-back-from-job-rejection" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://wisebread.killeracesmedia.netdna-cdn.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/iStock_000061108306_Large.jpg" alt="bouncing back from job rejection" title="" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="250" height="140" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p>What's your go-to coping mechanism when faced with rejection? Openly sob in between giant bites of chocolate cake? Punch a pillow? Or maybe you bend the ear of every passerby about the sheer injustice of it all?</p> <p>We learn these methods when we're young, and while most of our toddler tactics dissipate with time, it's not unusual to hang onto these particular rejection responses for life.</p> <p>But there is a better way. Take it from the indefatigable Babe Ruth, who said, &quot;It's pretty hard to beat a person who never gives up.&quot; You can take rejection and bounce back stronger than ever. Here's how. (See also: <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/11-ways-to-get-over-rejection?ref=seealso">11 Ways to Get Over Rejection</a>)</p> <h2>Don't Wallow</h2> <p>Get a handle on the emotional stages you pass through when faced with rejection. The most common model of emotional stages &mdash; known as the <a href="http://www.change-management-coach.com/kubler-ross.html">change curve</a> &mdash; categorizes them as shock, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Although the model was initially designed to describe the stages of grief, they have been found to hold true with much more minor changes such as rejection.</p> <p>Between the shock and anger stages, you're going to want to let off a little steam. Have a bellow. Take it out on the gym equipment. Pour yourself a large glass of wine. Whatever does it for you.</p> <p>But moving on through the natural stages of adjustment is the key to a quick recovery. It can be easy to grind to a halt at the stages of bargaining and depression, and to find yourself wallowing in the defeat. If you start to feel yourself <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/do-this-one-thing-every-day-to-defeat-negativity">getting overwhelmed by negativity</a>, take stock. Pull yourself up. But should the feeling persist, and you feel trapped, don't be afraid to seek help from family, friends, and medical professionals if necessary.</p> <h2>Don't Take It Personally</h2> <p>Remember that rejection happens to all of us. From being stood up on a date, to missing out on a great job, to being <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/mortgage-application-declined-here-s-how-to-respond">declined for a mortgage</a>, we've all been rejected at least once. If you want to take it all to heart, and find the personal slight in every rejection, you're going to live a life full of resentment and sadness. But the thing is, it's not about you.</p> <p>Try to create a little distance between yourself and your negative thoughts. If a rejection feels personal, take a step back and put it into perspective. If you didn't get that promotion, maybe there was simply another candidate who fit the position better. Maybe you're lined up for a different opportunity you simply don't know of yet. Maybe the interviewer was just plain bad. Either way, it's not about you, so don't beat yourself up.</p> <h2>Reflect and Review</h2> <p>So now that you have a sense of perspective, acknowledge if there is anything you can or should learn from the experience. Be wary of falling back into the hole of self-doubt or blame. But if there's anything you can learn from this, then the experience has been worthwhile in its own way.</p> <p>Hindsight, of course, is 20/20, and this isn't an exercise in wishful thinking. Ask yourself if, with the knowledge you had at the time, you could have taken a different course. If you were turned down for a bank loan, for example, could you have presented your case differently, or understood the assessment criteria better? Could you have improved your credit file or chosen a different bank to suit your circumstances? You cannot change the outcome, but you can turn regret into a life lesson instead.</p> <h2>Move Forward With a New Challenge</h2> <p>To reach the acceptance stage of the change curve takes time, and requires you to shift your focus from what has happened to what will happen. In other words, you need to get back on the horse.</p> <p>Whether you can pick up the same challenge and try a different angle, or find a new goal to pursue, will depend on the circumstances. If you've been rejected from a particular job, for example, then reapplying to the same role is probably futile. But reminding yourself of what you were looking for more broadly, before restarting your search elsewhere is the perfect antidote to rejection.</p> <p>If you've had a financial setback, then it might be time to rethink and set some entirely new money goals. What's crucial is having a meaningful target to shoot for, to stop yourself from slipping back in your adjustment process, and dwelling for too long on a rejection that has long passed. And this is where you have the possibility to not only recover from rejection, but to bounce back stronger than ever. Set a truly impactful goal, and use the pendulum effect as you swing from pent up frustration into full-on goal oriented action.</p> <p>Rejection should be redirection, not defeat.</p> <p><em>What's your top tip for overcoming rejection and bouncing back stronger than ever? Share with us in the comments!</em></p> <br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">This article is from <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/claire-millard">Claire Millard</a> of <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/4-ways-to-bounce-back-from-job-rejection">Wise Bread</a>, an award-winning personal finance and <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/credit-cards">credit card comparison</a> website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:</div><div class="view view-similarterms view-id-similarterms view-display-id-block_2 view-dom-id-1"> <div class="view-content"> <div class="item-list"> <ul> <li class="views-row views-row-1 views-row-odd views-row-first"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/9-things-that-really-annoy-hiring-managers">9 Things That Really Annoy Hiring Managers</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-2 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/6-extreme-job-interview-tactics-that-worked">6 Extreme Job Interview Tactics That Worked</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-3 views-row-odd"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/9-ways-to-job-hunt-without-getting-caught">9 Ways to Job Hunt Without Getting Caught</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-4 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/flashback-friday-the-65-best-career-tips-weve-ever-shared">Flashback Friday: The 65 Best Career Tips We&#039;ve Ever Shared</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-5 views-row-odd views-row-last"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/4-best-jobs-for-work-life-balance">4 Best Jobs for Work Life Balance</a></span> </div> </li> </ul> </div> </div> </div> </div><br/></br> Career and Income Job Hunting career confidence drive first impression Job Interview job rejection job search rejection Mon, 16 May 2016 09:00:05 +0000 Claire Millard 1709581 at http://www.wisebread.com 3 Ways Confidence Makes You Better With Money http://www.wisebread.com/3-ways-confidence-makes-you-better-with-money <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/3-ways-confidence-makes-you-better-with-money" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://wisebread.killeracesmedia.netdna-cdn.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/rich_man_with_money_000067124067_0.jpg" alt="Man learning how confidence boosts his finances" title="" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="250" height="140" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p>When it comes to managing your money, there's a piece of the puzzle that some don't consider: If you're determined to improve your personal finances, you can start by <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/10-ways-even-shy-people-can-fake-confidence-and-get-ahead">boosting your level of confidence</a>. You might be thinking one has nothing to do with the other, but low confidence can stand in the way of financial success.</p> <p>Here's how boosting your confidence can also boost your pocketbook.</p> <h2>1. You're Not Afraid to Ask for What You Want</h2> <p>About 10 years ago, I had a friend who had recently graduated college and found his first &quot;real job.&quot; He became frustrated with the pay after only six months and felt he deserved more because he finished college with a high GPA and had prior experience through internships. He told me that he was going to walk into his employer's office on Monday morning and ask for a $15,000 a year raise &mdash; &quot;negotiable, of course&quot; (which got the side-eye from me) &mdash; but wouldn't take anything less than $10,000.</p> <p>We looked at him like he was crazy. He was only 24 years old and fresh out of college. We told the dummy to slow his roll &mdash; because that's what friends do. Let me rephrase that &mdash; that's what negative, house-poor friends do.</p> <p>He didn't listen to us, and that's a good thing, because he got exactly what he wanted &mdash; a higher salary and a better position. I don't remember what he said to his boss, but I learned a valuable lesson that day: Don't be afraid to go after what you want, and don't listen to naysayers. If he had listened to us, who knows how long it would've taken him to move up in the company.</p> <p>The point: Lack of confidence can cause you to doubt your abilities. And when there's doubt, you might miss opportunities that can result in a higher salary. A confident person, on the other hand, believes in himself. He's not afraid to ask for what he wants and deserves. From a financial standpoint, confidence gives you the strength to negotiate your salary and get paid your worth.</p> <p>Just imagine what you could do with an increase in income. You could stop living paycheck-to-paycheck, open a retirement account, or finally put a dent in your credit card debt. And you'd also pick up the tab for your idiot, low-paid friends the next time you go out. That goes without saying, of course.</p> <h2>2. You'll Appear More Competent to Employers</h2> <p>Even if you don't ask your employer for more money, she might notice your confidence and feel you're the right fit for a challenging position when she's ready to offer promotions.</p> <p>Employers don't only look for people who have a particular skill set or level of experience. They also assess an employee's boldness, poise, and assertiveness. Being confident can get you to the top faster than someone who's unsure or second-guesses himself. This is especially true for women, who tend to demonstrate less confidence in the workplace, suggest Katty Kay and Claire Shipman, authors of <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/006223062X/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=390957&amp;creativeASIN=006223062X&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;tag=wisbre03-20&amp;linkId=DHDAQQDLAV2FV7TQ">The Confidence Code</a>.</p> <p>If your employer thinks you lack confidence, he might unfairly conclude that you're not ready for certain responsibilities. And when you're constantly passed over for promotions, you might stay stuck at the same pay grade living paycheck-to-paycheck for much longer than you'd like.</p> <h2>3. You Don't Have Anything to Prove</h2> <p>It's sad, but some people will risk serious debt just to prove they can maintain the same lifestyle as their friends. I understand not wanting to be left behind when your friends eat at nice restaurants or take exotic vacations together. But under no circumstances should you get into major debt or end up flat broke from supporting a lifestyle you can't afford.</p> <p>It all goes back to confidence. A confident person isn't going to sacrifice their financial wellbeing so they can rub elbows or kick it with the Joneses. They don't get in over their heads financing expensive cars or houses, and they certainly don't rack up credit card debt to give the appearance that they're doing better than they actually are.</p> <p>Confident people know that financial success isn't about material possessions, but rather how well they manage their money. Someone can earn a lot and be broke, whereas someone who earns far less can have a bigger bank account. When you're a confident person and have absolutely nothing to prove, you're more apt to keep your personal expenses low and enjoy more disposable income. Thus it becomes easier to save a three to six-month cash cushion, and you're able to reach other financial goals, such as paying off credit card debt, saving for a kid's education, or making home improvements that can boost your property value.</p> <p>Life is better &mdash; and cheaper &mdash; when you're not trying to be someone you're not.</p> <p><em>Are there other ways you think confidence can improve your finances? Let us know in the comments below.</em></p> <br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">This article is from <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/mikey-rox">Mikey Rox</a> of <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/3-ways-confidence-makes-you-better-with-money">Wise Bread</a>, an award-winning personal finance and <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/credit-cards">credit card comparison</a> website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:</div><div class="view view-similarterms view-id-similarterms view-display-id-block_2 view-dom-id-1"> <div class="view-content"> <div class="item-list"> <ul> <li class="views-row views-row-1 views-row-odd views-row-first"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/tips-for-finding-legitimate-work-at-home-opportunities">Tips for Finding Legitimate Work at Home Opportunities</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-2 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/the-3-best-pieces-of-financial-wisdom-from-oprah-winfrey">The 3 Best Pieces of Financial Wisdom From Oprah Winfrey</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-3 views-row-odd"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/chinese-money-habits-how-my-culture-influences-my-attitudes-toward-money">Chinese Money Habits - How My Culture Influences My Attitudes Toward Money</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-4 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/8-reasons-youre-bad-at-money-and-how-to-fix-it-asap">8 Reasons You&#039;re Bad at Money — And How to Fix It ASAP</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-5 views-row-odd views-row-last"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/when-should-you-say-no-to-those-who-want-to-borrow-money-from-you">When Should You Say No to Those Who Want to Borrow Money from You?</a></span> </div> </li> </ul> </div> </div> </div> </div><br/></br> Personal Finance Career Building accumulating wealth confidence money promotions self esteem Fri, 11 Sep 2015 13:00:19 +0000 Mikey Rox 1553987 at http://www.wisebread.com 10 Ways Even Shy People Can Fake Confidence and Get Ahead http://www.wisebread.com/10-ways-even-shy-people-can-fake-confidence-and-get-ahead <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/10-ways-even-shy-people-can-fake-confidence-and-get-ahead" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://wisebread.killeracesmedia.netdna-cdn.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/shy_happy_woman_000017846770.jpg" alt="Shy woman learning how to fake confidence and get ahead" title="" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="250" height="140" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p>You have an interview. Or a presentation. Or you want to ask your boss for a raise, or ask that hot somebody at the gym on a date. But there's one problem.</p> <p>You're shy. You don't feel confident about this and you fear they'll see it.</p> <p>Fortunately, <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/17-little-ways-to-feel-more-confident">confidence is pretty easy to fake</a>. If you can change some things about the way you carry yourself and the ways you interact with people for the duration of your challenging situation, you will come across as much more confident than you might actually feel. (And of course, faking it can be a big step towards making it!) Here's how.</p> <h2>1. Whatever You Do, Don't Apologize!</h2> <p>People who aren't confident apologize when they don't have to and, in doing so, act as if they don't matter as much as the people they're talking to. If you have done something wrong, apologize by all means. But don't do it unless it is completely warranted and you are actually sorry. Some shy people even open conversations this way, saying, &quot;I'm sorry, do you have a minute?&quot; or &quot;I'm sorry to bother you, but...&quot; This conveys the opposite of confidence.</p> <h2>2. Slow Down</h2> <p>Many shy people tend to move and speak quickly or erratically when they feel uncomfortable. Instead, slow everything down. Speak precisely, making sure each word is clear. This shows that you are comfortable enough with yourself that you don't have to either steal or avoid the limelight to make sure you are heard. If you feel like you are going too fast, stop, smile, take a deep breath, and continue.</p> <h2>3. Stand Up Straight</h2> <p>If you can't do anything else, you can probably square your shoulders and lift your chin until the situation you aren't feeling confident about is over. This makes you look bigger, which alone may be enough to project more confidence. But good posture also says that you are ready for anything and sure of your ability to handle it.</p> <h2>4. Be Bold With Eye Contact</h2> <p>Eye contact is really hard for a lot of shy people, but maintaining it is key to looking confident. It may take some mental focus, but appearing engaged and interested in whatever is going on is important when you want to look confident. If looking at someone's eyes is awkward or too uncomfortable, at the very least you can focus on their mouth or their nose.</p> <h2>5. Turn Towards People</h2> <p>If you're shy, you might find that you're often partially turned away from a conversation, even one you're engaged and interested in. Make sure that both your toes and your torso are aimed toward the people you're speaking to, and you will look like you are <a href="http://www.scienceofpeople.com/2014/05/look-feel-confident-using-body-language/">put together and focused</a> on what is at hand. This also shows an immense amount of respect to the other people in the conversation, which shows that you are confident enough to let others be important, too.</p> <h2>6. Think Positive Thoughts</h2> <p>Specifically, think about your ambitions in a particular area before you go into a situation in that area where you want to appear confident. If you want someone to go on a date with you, write or imagine where you see that scenario ending. If you want a new job, think about what it would be like to work at the company and where that might lead you in the future. You will then automatically present yourself more assertively and people will think better of you when you're in the actual situation.</p> <h2>7. Laugh</h2> <p>If there is an appropriate opportunity for laughter, be sure to take it. This makes you seem happy, and happiness comes across as confidence. Make sure that you don't laugh awkwardly, though, or at someone else. It's best when you can laugh at yourself, which shows that you don't take yourself too seriously and that whatever happened isn't enough to shake you. Even if you truly are shaken, think about something funny and laugh at that, instead. No one will know the difference.</p> <h2>8. Practice Your Body Language</h2> <p>Many shy people rehearse potentially difficult situations ahead of time to make sure that they have their words down. When you do this, rehearse some body language, too. Specifically, make sure that your body language reflects the emotion you're trying to convey with your words. This will make you seem more consistent and convincing, so people will be more likely to trust you and follow where you want to lead.</p> <h2>9. Use Power Poses</h2> <p>If you want to appear more confident, <a href="http://www.entrepreneur.com/article/241052">practice power poses</a> before a potentially difficult encounter. These trick your brain into actually feeling more confident, so you will automatically present yourself that way during your meeting. You probably don't want to use these during an actual encounter, because that would look at least a little bit awkward. But you can use them beforehand, even in a bathroom stall if you have to.</p> <h2>10. Ask Good Questions</h2> <p>If you are the one asking questions, it means you're the one leading the conversation, and that always projects confidence. You can ask anything &mdash; ask someone how their day is going, or how they are feeling about a situation. Once you've asked, listen to the response. Then, you can ask another question, offer your own ideas, or at least give them a genuine smile.</p> <p>When you put these all together, you have one confident presentation of yourself. And these are all things you can &quot;fake,&quot; so you can do it even when you're feeling shy.</p> <p><em>When are you most likely to fake confidence? Has it worked well for you in the past?</em></p> <br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">This article is from <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/sarah-winfrey">Sarah Winfrey</a> of <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/10-ways-even-shy-people-can-fake-confidence-and-get-ahead">Wise Bread</a>, an award-winning personal finance and <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/credit-cards">credit card comparison</a> website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:</div><div class="view view-similarterms view-id-similarterms view-display-id-block_2 view-dom-id-2"> <div class="view-content"> <div class="item-list"> <ul> <li class="views-row views-row-1 views-row-odd views-row-first"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/the-5-habits-you-must-break-to-become-more-self-confident">The 5 Habits You Must Break to Become More Self-Confident</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-2 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/12-ways-to-feel-more-attractive-without-actually-changing-how-you-look">12 Ways to Feel More Attractive Without Actually Changing How You Look</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-3 views-row-odd"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/how-to-do-things-that-scare-you">How to Do Things That Scare You</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-4 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/want-to-be-more-attractive-work-these-5-magic-words-and-phrases-into-your-vocabulary">Want to Be More Attractive? Work These 5 Magic Words (and Phrases) Into Your Vocabulary</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-5 views-row-odd views-row-last"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/15-ways-to-gain-more-confidence-today">15 Ways to Gain More Confidence Today</a></span> </div> </li> </ul> </div> </div> </div> </div><br/></br> Personal Development confidence faking it meeting people shyness social Wed, 01 Jul 2015 17:00:16 +0000 Sarah Winfrey 1469518 at http://www.wisebread.com The Easy Way to Cure Chronic Procrastination You Should Try Now http://www.wisebread.com/the-easy-way-to-cure-chronic-procrastination-you-should-try-now <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/the-easy-way-to-cure-chronic-procrastination-you-should-try-now" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://wisebread.killeracesmedia.netdna-cdn.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/woman_procrastinating_000037338664.jpg" alt="Woman learning how to cure procrastination" title="" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="250" height="140" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p>Some people may wonder why procrastination advice seems to never work for them and if there is a deeper issue at hand. Well, for 20% of the population who are chronic procrastinators, it is a serious problem that needs to be addressed, according to Joseph Ferrari, a psychology professor at DePaul University and a leading expert in the study of procrastination. For those 20%, telling them to just &quot;do it&quot; is like &quot;telling a clinically depressed person to cheer up,&quot; says Ferrari, author of the book <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Still-Procrastinating-Regrets-Guide-Getting/dp/0470611588/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1329440165&amp;sr=8-1" target="_blank">Still Procrastinating?</a>.</p> <p>RELATED:&nbsp;<a href="http://www.popsugar.com/smart-living/Organization-Tips-DIYs-34385347#photo-34385347">41 Insanely Awesome Organization Hacks</a></p> <h3>It's a Serious Problem If . . .</h3> <p>So how do you know if you're a chronic procrastinator? &quot;You find that you procrastinate at home, at school, at work,&nbsp;in relationships. You don't pay your bills on time . . . You miss sporting events, concerts because you never got the ticket,&quot; says Ferrari. &quot;You're late for any social gathering, you'll miss doctor's appointments because you're never there on time, the refrigerator is empty because you never restock it in time, food goes bad because you never eat it on time. If you do all those kind of things, you probably are a chronic procrastinator.&quot;</p> <p>Read on to find out how people become procrastinators.</p> <p>RELATED:&nbsp;<a href="http://www.popsugar.com/smart-living/Ways-Productive-Morning-34975526">7 Ways to Be Productive Every Morning of the Week</a></p> <h3>How People Become Chronic Procrastinators</h3> <p>There are several factors that can lead one to becoming a chronic procrastinator. Here are a couple of them, according to the procrastination expert:</p> <ul> <li><strong>Your dad</strong>: &quot;It's typically cold, demanding, stern fathers that cause boys and girls to be procrastinators,&quot; Ferrari says. Children with strict dads use procrastination as a way to cope because they can't rebel.<br /> &nbsp;</li> <li><strong>You care too much about what others think of you</strong>: Some people procrastinate because they care too much about public perception. The pressure to seem perfect is particularly strong for these people. The chronic procrastinators prefer people to see them as procrastinators that don't get around to doing tasks rather than simply being incompetent.<br /> &nbsp;</li> <li><strong>Society</strong>: We live in a world where society doesn't reward punctuality. Instead, we're penalized for being late, which doesn't give any of us incentive to complete tasks ahead of time. &quot;We punish people if they file their taxes late. We give them a bill. If we pay off our credit card late, we charge them a late fee. But what if you pay your card on time and what if you've paid your mortgage off? There's no gift here.&quot;</li> </ul> <p>RELATED:&nbsp;<a href="http://www.popsugar.com/smart-living/Funny-Sick-Day-Excuses-20337003">10 Really Unusual Sick Day Excuses</a></p> <h3>The Cure for Procrastination</h3> <p>For those who have deep-rooted issues with procrastination, it seems that cognitive behavioral therapy, a type of mental health counseling, is the most effective method. This kind of psychotherapy attempts to reroute inaccurate, harmful, or negative thoughts.</p> <p>Ferrari suggests a couple more ways that might help chronic procrastinators:</p> <ul> <li><strong>Surround yourself with doers</strong>: It's healthy for a chronic procrastinator to surround herself with people who are likely to do things. It'll be a good influence on those with a tendency to delay tasks.<br /> &nbsp;</li> <li><strong>Just start somewhere</strong>: Just take a small step at a time. For example, if you're supposed to write an essay, start with a few paragraphs, and if that's too much for you, resolve to write just one. If that's still overwhelming, stick to a couple of sentences or even a few words.<br /> &nbsp;</li> <li><strong>Set up a reward system</strong>: &quot;People like to do things they enjoy doing,&quot; says Ferrari. He recommends rewarding yourself with something you enjoy after you complete something that you've been dreading to do. For example, reward yourself with half an hour of <em>Desperate Housewives</em> after doing laundry.<br /> &nbsp;</li> <li><strong>Public posting</strong>: Because procrastinators care so much about how others view them, they are more likely to do tasks when they publicly announce it. Take to Twitter, Facebook, or any other social media outlet and state the task you're going to do. Then when you've completed it, let everyone know that you've done what you set out to do. The &quot;likes&quot; and congratulatory tweets will feel very satisfying.</li> </ul> <p>RELATED:&nbsp;<a href="http://www.popsugar.com/smart-living/How-Make-Mornings-Easier-37111300">Start Each Workday Right by Following These 7 Rules</a></p> <h3>So What if I Am One?</h3> <p>If you're reading this and feel that you fit the profile of a chronic procrastinator, you may think that it's not a big deal to be one. After all, your life might be functioning fine, and you've made it through many of the setbacks caused by your procrastination.</p> <p>However, keep in mind that it may catch up with you one day, and it can get to a point where it disrupts your life and negatively impact other people's opinion of your character. Further, it's not exactly comfortable living as a chronic procrastinator. In fact, Ferrari found that procrastinators have more regrets than nonprocrastinators for things that they didn't do. &quot;Stop stressing yourself over it. Life is short &mdash; leave a legacy,&quot; says Ferrari. &quot;There are too many places to see and too many things to do in life to just procrastinate and wait and living in a bubble of fear of getting it done.&quot;</p> <div class="field field-type-text field-field-blog-teaser"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> What are you waiting for? Fix your chronic procrastination now. </div> </div> </div> <div class="field field-type-text field-field-guestpost-blurb"> <div class="field-label">Guest Post Blurb:&nbsp;</div> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <p style="text-align:center;"><a href="http://www.savvysugar.com" style="border:none;"><img alt="" src="http://wisebread.killeracesmedia.netdna-cdn.com/files/fruganomics/u921/POPSUGARrgb.jpg" style="height:95px; width:300px" /></a></p> <p><em>This is a guest contribution from our friends at </em><a href="http://www.savvysugar.com/"><em>POPSUGAR Smart Living</em></a><em>. Check out more useful articles from this partner:</em></p> <ul> <li><a href="http://www.popsugar.com/smart-living/Organization-Tips-DIYs-34385347#photo-34385347">41 Insanely Awesome Organization Hacks</a></li> <li><a href="http://www.popsugar.com/smart-living/Ways-Productive-Morning-34975526">7 Ways to Be Productive Every Morning of the Week</a></li> <li><a href="http://www.popsugar.com/smart-living/Funny-Sick-Day-Excuses-20337003">10 Really Unusual Sick Day Excuses</a></li> <li><a href="http://www.popsugar.com/smart-living/How-Make-Mornings-Easier-37111300">Start Each Workday Right by Following These 7 Rules</a></li> </ul> <p>&nbsp;</p> </div> </div> </div> <br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">This article is from <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/popsugar-smart-living">POPSUGAR Smart Living</a> of <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/the-easy-way-to-cure-chronic-procrastination-you-should-try-now">Wise Bread</a>, an award-winning personal finance and <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/credit-cards">credit card comparison</a> website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:</div><div class="view view-similarterms view-id-similarterms view-display-id-block_2 view-dom-id-3"> <div class="view-content"> <div class="item-list"> <ul> <li class="views-row views-row-1 views-row-odd views-row-first"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/how-to-make-your-sluggish-workday-go-a-lot-faster">How to Make Your Sluggish Workday Go (a Lot) Faster</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-2 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/9-ways-to-stop-procrastinating-now">9 Ways to Stop Procrastinating — NOW!</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-3 views-row-odd"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/the-simple-way-to-make-multitasking-actually-work">The Simple Way to Make Multitasking Actually Work</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-4 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/fifteen-minutes-of">Fifteen Minutes of ...</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-5 views-row-odd views-row-last"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/the-7-stages-of-procrastination-read-this-right-now">The 7 Stages of Procrastination (Read This Right Now!)</a></span> </div> </li> </ul> </div> </div> </div> </div><br/></br> Lifestyle Organization Productivity confidence procrastination productivity Fri, 29 May 2015 21:00:09 +0000 POPSUGAR Smart Living 1424334 at http://www.wisebread.com 7 Ways Psychologists Say Saving Boosts Your Mental Health http://www.wisebread.com/7-ways-psychologists-say-saving-boosts-your-mental-health <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/7-ways-psychologists-say-saving-boosts-your-mental-health" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://wisebread.killeracesmedia.netdna-cdn.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/happy-woman-piggy-bank-Dollarphotoclub_73644280.jpg" alt="young woman piggy bank" title="young woman piggy bank" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="250" height="140" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p>We all know that saving consistently can do wonders for our bank accounts, but what about our minds and our moods? As those dollars add up, how do our personalities change? Our outlooks on life? Our stress levels?</p> <p>If your personal savings plan is gaining momentum, I bet you've noticed some unexpected benefits in other areas of life. (See also: <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/frugal-factors-what-traits-do-most-savers-share?ref=seealso">What Traits Do Most Savers Share?</a>)</p> <p>Here are seven psychological benefits of saving regularly.</p> <h2>1. Discipline</h2> <p>A healthy bank balance doesn't happen by accident. We live in a virtual wonderland of consumer goods where every taste, inclination, or terrible idea can be indulged with a swipe or a click. Saving means swimming against the tide of stuff and having the discipline to say &quot;no&quot; more often than &quot;yes.&quot; And the wonderful thing is this: When we adopt effective <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/4-self-discipline-tricks-i-learned-from-the-marathon">self-discipline tricks</a>, the results can help us in nearly every part of life.</p> <h2>2. Peace of Mind</h2> <p>If being in debt or riding the edge of your budget has you stressed, then <a href="http://njaes.rutgers.edu/sshw/message/message.asp?p=Finance&amp;m=122">building a savings cushion</a> should bring you peace of mind, suggests Rutgers University. All savers may not be Zen masters, and there's a lot more to tranquility than a pile of cash, but establishing a healthy financial buffer sure doesn't hurt. Saving is a form of personal insurance and, after all, isn't peace of mind what insurance companies are selling?</p> <h2>3. Confidence</h2> <p>Successful saving builds confidence in at least two important ways. First, it reinforces the fact that you can really achieve something when you set your mind to it. And second, saving provides the capital to get things done when necessary. If that 1979 Bronco finally kicks it, you have the capital to buy a dependable replacement (or at least fund a healthy down payment). If your 30-year old furnace gives you the cold shoulder in the middle of a January blizzard, you don't have to kindle a campfire in the bathtub to stay warm. Isn't having the resources to act the ultimate confidence-builder? (See also: <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/17-little-ways-to-feel-more-confident?ref=seealso">17 Little Ways to Feel More Confident</a>)</p> <h2>4. Assertiveness</h2> <p>Having a deeper and more authentic sense of confidence makes people more assertive. With the skills to save and the bank balance to prove it, you can channel healthy assertiveness when the occasion calls for it. Go after that promotion, ask that special someone out on a first date, or simply work toward your next set of personal goals with greater gusto.</p> <h2>5. Optimism</h2> <p>It's easy to be cynical when all your hard work barely floats you from one paycheck to the next. Research shows that saving <em>something</em> &mdash; no matter how small &mdash; can gradually build a sense of optimism. Watching a fledgling bank account grow helps us feel like we're working toward something greater and gives us the traction we need to find new ways to save more and save faster.</p> <h2>6. Compassion</h2> <p>Savers don't have a monopoly on compassion, of course, but saving can give us enough breathing room in our own financial lives to look around and see what others need. Saving regularly affords us the luxury of a clearer perspective &mdash; and that's often the seed of active compassion. It also gives rise to compassionate actions &mdash; such as having the means to donate to good causes or help others when they're in need.</p> <h2>7. Sense of Freedom</h2> <p>A high level of consumer debt is a lot like indentured servitude. Steep interest rates, late fees, the potential damage to credit (and all that can entail) can keep people toiling for years with very little to show for it. Being able to save regularly means you've at least tamed your debt enough to stash some cash &mdash; and cash is often an important part of being free. Spending less and saving more can help us embrace <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/11-freedoms-you-gain-by-spending-less">important freedoms</a> in our careers, our relationships, and where we choose to live. Without overstating it: If you feel cornered by any aspect of life, explore the transformative power of amassing some capital and then use it to launch yourself in a new direction.</p> <p>Sure, it might not be the cure for everything that ails you, but there are some very real psychological benefits to establishing and maintaining a savings routine. In fact, saving and frugality can be <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/men-why-frugal-is-sexy">downright sexy</a>. So, as you watch that bank balance grow, consider what other parts of your life are blossoming too.</p> <p><em>Do you save regularly? How has it improved your frame of mind and your sense of self? Share your story below.</em></p> <br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">This article is from <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/kentin-waits">Kentin Waits</a> of <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/7-ways-psychologists-say-saving-boosts-your-mental-health">Wise Bread</a>, an award-winning personal finance and <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/credit-cards">credit card comparison</a> website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:</div><div class="view view-similarterms view-id-similarterms view-display-id-block_2 view-dom-id-5"> <div class="view-content"> <div class="item-list"> <ul> <li class="views-row views-row-1 views-row-odd views-row-first"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/7-habits-of-highly-frugal-people">7 Habits of Highly Frugal People</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-2 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/10-money-goals-all-30-somethings-should-have">10 Money Goals All 30-Somethings Should Have</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-3 views-row-odd"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/16-easy-ways-to-save-100-this-month">16 Easy Ways to Save $100 This Month</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-4 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/10-ways-to-save-money-when-you-are-unemployed">10 Ways to Save Money When You Are Unemployed</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-5 views-row-odd views-row-last"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/making-every-penny-count-with-a-zero-based-budget">Making Every Penny Count With A Zero-Based Budget</a></span> </div> </li> </ul> </div> </div> </div> </div><br/></br> Budgeting confidence psychology saving security Mon, 15 Dec 2014 16:00:10 +0000 Kentin Waits 1267802 at http://www.wisebread.com 8 Dumb Little Things Holding You Back From a Healthy Relationship http://www.wisebread.com/8-dumb-little-things-holding-you-back-from-a-healthy-relationship <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/8-dumb-little-things-holding-you-back-from-a-healthy-relationship" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://wisebread.killeracesmedia.netdna-cdn.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/couple-relationship-problems-179233001-small.jpg" alt="couple relationship problems" title="couple relationship problems" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="250" height="140" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p>A good relationship is hard to find.</p> <p>Ask any single person who would love to be in a committed, strong relationship, and they'll tell you. Between their own mistakes and hang ups and those of the people they try to date, sometimes it seems like a miracle that anything could ever work out. (See also: <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/6-time-tested-ways-to-make-a-relationship-work?ref=seealso">6 Time-Tested Ways to Make a Relationship Work</a>)</p> <p>If you want to increase your chances of said miracle, though, make sure you're not engaging in any of these dumb little things that may be holding you back from a healthy relationship.</p> <h2>1. Deferring to Their Opinion</h2> <p>It's nice to let your partner choose where you're going or what you're doing. Some of the time. The problem with deferring all the time, though, is that it shows that you're insecure. And when you are insecure all the time, your partner can feel like they need to fix that for you.</p> <p>It isn't your partner's job to fix you. And asking them to do this, even if you do it indirectly, won't promote a healthy relationship. If your partner takes you up on this and tries to always reassure you, the relationship can become codependent. If they don't, you can end up angry and resentful towards them because they won't give you what you think you need.</p> <h2>2. Dressing Up to See Them</h2> <p>Sure, you want to impress the person you want to be with (or want to stay with). It's natural that you would want to look your best. However, when your partner never sees you in your normal clothes, it's like you're hiding part of who you are. And if you're hiding here, there's a good chance you're hiding other things, too.</p> <p><a href="http://www.ted.com/conversations/19704/how_honest_should_we_be_in_rel.html">Relationships need truth to survive</a>. Even when that truth is hard, when you're afraid that your significant other won't want to know something about you &mdash; whether that's your sexual history or the fact that you have a whole collection of sweatpants &mdash; it's better to express them than to keep quiet. Hiding may seem like a small thing, but it can make or break a relationship.</p> <h2>3. Saying Negative Things About Singleness</h2> <p>Even if you're in a relationship, it's worth your time to examine your attitudes about singleness. If you think negatively about single people or about being single, it probably means that you think a person's meaning comes from his or her romantic relationships. This puts a lot of stress on your relationship, because you want your partner to make your life meaningful.</p> <p>When you expect someone else to give your life meaning, you're asking a lot of them. In fact, you're asking something from them that they can never give you. Because meaning is something that wells up from inside you and that only you can determine whether or not you have, asking another person to give you that is asking them to climb inside your head. Starting a relationship by expecting the impossible will never lead to health.</p> <h2>4. Wondering If You Should Break Up After Every Fight</h2> <p>Most people don't realize that relationships are hard. But conflict should be expected, not a surprise. If you are so surprised that you want to break up, it probably means that you're expecting the relationship to be easy.</p> <p>When we have an expectation, especially one we haven't talked about or, sometimes, even made conscious, we tend to do whatever we can to make sure things fall into place the way we want them to. This can mean manipulating people, ignoring our feelings, and more. Or, it can mean ending a good relationship once it's no longer perfect.</p> <h2>5. Reminding Someone of What They Did Wrong Last Week</h2> <p>When someone hurts you, it's natural to remember that and to feel wary about interacting with that person in the future. If you keep bringing up your partner's past wrongs, though, it indicates that you're holding a grudge and it often makes the relationship unhealthy.</p> <p>If you can't get over something that someone did to you, whether it was big or small, you probably shouldn't be with them. Otherwise, you will <a href="http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-living/adult-health/in-depth/forgiveness/art-20047692">end up angry at them and distrustful</a> of everything they do, and you could even end up stalking them or putting them under surveillance, which is clearly unhealthy.</p> <h2>6. Rolling Your Eyes</h2> <p>When you roll your eyes, you indicate that you're annoyed in the most dismissive, rude way possible. Sure, it's one little action, and if you do it when your partner can't see you, it won't even bother them. Whether they see you or not, though, an eye roll is indicative of a certain kind of attitude, and it's not one that makes for a healthy relationship.</p> <h2>7. Saying &quot;Yes&quot; When You Mean &quot;No&quot;</h2> <p>If you want to make someone happy, you do whatever they want to do, right? Right? Wrong. Doing whatever someone asks of you all the time means that they control the relationship and you don't. This uneven balance of power can be unhealthy and even destructive, especially if the powerful person decides to take advantage of things.</p> <p>Saying &quot;No&quot; might make you feel like you're disappointing your partner, but sometimes you have to do that. Setting boundaries is key in healthy relationships, so that people know what they can and cannot expect from you and what you are and are not willing to give.</p> <h2>8. Making Sure Things Are &quot;Even&quot;</h2> <p>It's great that you want things to be fair, but always looking out for that is usually just another way to keep score, which is dangerous for your relationship.</p> <p>The problem with keeping score, with always knowing whether you owe or are owed, is that it becomes difficult to talk about any particular issue at hand. Every time you disagree with your partner, you'll bring up the past, which means that now you're talking about all of those issues as well as the one right in front of you. This can degenerate into you trying to justify your version of the scorecard while your partner does the same with theirs, which means the issue at hand is never dealt with and is only added to the score, for next time.</p> <p><em>What changes have you made to make your relationships healthier? What is one small change that seems to make all the difference?</em></p> <br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">This article is from <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/sarah-winfrey">Sarah Winfrey</a> of <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/8-dumb-little-things-holding-you-back-from-a-healthy-relationship">Wise Bread</a>, an award-winning personal finance and <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/credit-cards">credit card comparison</a> website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:</div><div class="view view-similarterms view-id-similarterms view-display-id-block_2 view-dom-id-2"> <div class="view-content"> <div class="item-list"> <ul> <li class="views-row views-row-1 views-row-odd views-row-first"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/happily-ever-after-how-to-stay-married-for-29-years-and-counting">Happily Ever After: How to Stay Married for 29 Years (and Counting)</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-2 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/fixing-mistakes-7-steps-for-any-situation">Fixing Mistakes: 7 Steps for Any Situation</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-3 views-row-odd"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/6-ways-regular-budget-meetings-might-save-your-marriage">6 Ways Regular Budget Meetings Might Save Your Marriage</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-4 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/avoid-these-5-pitfalls-when-moving-in-together">Avoid These 5 Pitfalls When Moving in Together</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-5 views-row-odd views-row-last"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/11-signs-you-need-to-dump-your-friend">11 Signs You Need to Dump Your Friend</a></span> </div> </li> </ul> </div> </div> </div> </div><br/></br> Personal Development communication confidence relationships Thu, 04 Dec 2014 13:00:05 +0000 Sarah Winfrey 1263678 at http://www.wisebread.com 12 Ways to Feel More Attractive Without Actually Changing How You Look http://www.wisebread.com/12-ways-to-feel-more-attractive-without-actually-changing-how-you-look <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/12-ways-to-feel-more-attractive-without-actually-changing-how-you-look" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://wisebread.killeracesmedia.netdna-cdn.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/beautiful-woman-mirror-457968633-small.jpg" alt="beautiful woman mirror" title="beautiful woman mirror" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="250" height="140" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p>When you are busy &mdash; whether it is with your kids, caring for an aging parent, investing in friendships, or diving into a job you love &mdash; it can be especially hard to feel attractive. When you don't have the energy or time to focus on how you look, or when you end up neglecting the things that make you feel the most attractive, it's even easier to feel ugly and dump on your appearance. (See also: <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/want-to-be-more-attractive-work-these-5-magic-words-and-phrases-into-your-vocabulary?ref=seealso">Want to Be More Attractive? Work These 5 Words (and Phrases) Into Your Vocabulary</a>)</p> <p>But there are some easy ways to feel better about how you look, even when you can't do a whole lot to change your features or your figure.</p> <h2>1. Don't Compare Yourself</h2> <p>Or, at least, don't compare yourself with people whose bodies are unrealistic goals for most of humanity. If your standard of attractiveness is too high, you'll always be discouraged. Since most of us will compare ourselves whether we want to or not, try to compare yourself to other normal people in your culture, and who are about your age. This will make you feel so much more attractive than when you compare yourself to unachievable ideals.</p> <h2>2. Wear Sexy Clothes No One Can See</h2> <p>In most contexts, you won't want to wear especially sexy clothes on the outside. However, wearing that silky something just because you want to do it can make you feel so much more attractive, not to mention confident. If sexiness isn't your thing, you can wear clothes that are special for you. Hide your ninja socks in your tall boots or sneak a snakeskin belt under an oversized shirt, and you will feel more attractive than ever.</p> <h2>3. Focus on Other People</h2> <p>If you think about yourself all the time, you'll become more and more self-conscious. Instead, think about other people. Make attempts to talk, to draw them out of <em>their</em> shells, and even to connect people to each other. When you're doing this, your feelings of insecurity will grow smaller and smaller, which means that you'll feel better about who you are and how you look.</p> <h2>4. Know What You Love About Yourself</h2> <p>Even if you don't love the way you look and feel chronically underappreciated, there are things about yourself that you like. Make a list of these, and refer to it until you can remember these things by heart. When you know what you like about yourself, you will feel more confident about yourself in all areas, including how you look.</p> <h2>5. Think Positive Thoughts</h2> <p>Try consciously thinking, &quot;my eyes are a gorgeous shade of blue,&quot; as opposed to just focusing on your flaws. This will help you balance the places where you aren't attractive with the places where you are, which will raise how you feel about your looks overall.</p> <h2>6. Smile More</h2> <p><a href="http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/smile-it-could-make-you-happier/">Smiling makes you feel happier</a>. And, when you feel happier, you are likely to feel good about yourself and your life, including how you look. While smiling may also influence how other people see you, this is just for you. Smile to feel better about everything in your life, including your appearance.</p> <h2>7. Stand Up Straight</h2> <p>Square your shoulders and remind yourself that you can take on the world if you have to. When you are able to look the world in the eye, you will feel better about all aspects of who you are. This means you'll feel more attractive, and also more powerful, more influential, and more confident.</p> <h2>8. Remember What Your Body Can Do</h2> <p>When you feel unattractive, it's easy to focus on all of the things that are wrong with your body. When you think about what your body can do, the gifts it gives you, you will feel more attractive simply because you will feel better about your body, and it's hard to think well of something and be down on it at the same time.</p> <h2>9. Make Something You Are Proud Of</h2> <p>This may seem counterintuitive, but think about it. When you create something that makes you glad, it's easier to feel attractive. Even if you still aren't thrilled with your appearance, you will be reminded of your inner beauty and the things that you can create from the lovely place. Focusing on inner beauty may seem cheesy, but the truth is that who you are on the inside counts for so much more, and making things will help you remember this.</p> <h2>10. Find Clothes You Love</h2> <p>It's hard to feel unattractive when you are wearing clothes that you love. Even if you love a dress because it is so soft or a shirt because of the way it feels against your skin, you will feel better about your body and, therefore, should feel more attractive, too. If you don't know how to find clothes you love, go shopping with someone who loves to shop. They should be able to help you find exactly what you need to feel better.</p> <h2>11. Lower Your Stress Level</h2> <p>Stress can make us anxious and we are more likely to feel unattractive when we are anxious. Thus, it makes sense that lowering your stress level would make you feel better about your appearance. If you're not sure how to do this, try taking some down time. Do something you love, even if you only have 15 minutes. Read, watch TV, paint, or cook, then check in with how attractive you feel when you're done.</p> <h2>12. Say &quot;Thank You&quot;</h2> <p>When you give thanks, you focus on what is good about your life. If you're feeling unattractive, focus on things you're thankful for about your body. You may love the texture of your hair, or the way your calves fit so well in boots. Even if most of the things you're thankful for are little, the act of giving thanks for them will help you feel more attractive. (See also: <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/science-shows-that-saying-thanks-can-improve-your-health-and-happiness">The One Word You Need to Start Using Today to Have a Better Life</a>)</p> <p><em>How do you help yourself feel more attractive when you're down on yourself? What do you love to do that makes you feel like you look good?</em></p> <br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">This article is from <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/sarah-winfrey">Sarah Winfrey</a> of <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/12-ways-to-feel-more-attractive-without-actually-changing-how-you-look">Wise Bread</a>, an award-winning personal finance and <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/credit-cards">credit card comparison</a> website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:</div><div class="view view-similarterms view-id-similarterms view-display-id-block_2 view-dom-id-3"> <div class="view-content"> <div class="item-list"> <ul> <li class="views-row views-row-1 views-row-odd views-row-first"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/want-to-be-more-attractive-work-these-5-magic-words-and-phrases-into-your-vocabulary">Want to Be More Attractive? Work These 5 Magic Words (and Phrases) Into Your Vocabulary</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-2 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/5-apps-that-pay-you-to-exercise">5 Apps That Pay You To Exercise</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-3 views-row-odd"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/the-5-best-face-washes">The 5 Best Face Washes</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-4 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/the-5-best-manicure-kits">The 5 Best Manicure Kits</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-5 views-row-odd views-row-last"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/the-5-best-body-scrubs">The 5 Best Body Scrubs</a></span> </div> </li> </ul> </div> </div> </div> </div><br/></br> Health and Beauty Personal Development ambition attraction attractiveness beauty confidence Mon, 10 Nov 2014 12:00:04 +0000 Sarah Winfrey 1252366 at http://www.wisebread.com Best Money Tips: How to Socialize With Confidence http://www.wisebread.com/best-money-tips-how-to-socialize-with-confidence <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/best-money-tips-how-to-socialize-with-confidence" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://wisebread.killeracesmedia.netdna-cdn.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/friends-socializing-bar-463623129-small.jpg" alt="friends socializing bar" title="friends socializing bar" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="250" height="140" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p>Welcome to Wise Bread's <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/topic/best-money-tips">Best Money Tips</a> Roundup! Today we found some awesome articles on gaining confidence when you socialize, money mistakes almost everyone makes, and dealing with student loan debt.</p> <h2>Top 5 Articles</h2> <p><a href="http://zenhabits.net/social/">A Quick Guide to Gaining Confidence When You Socialize</a> &mdash; Don't be afraid to share your vulnerabilities &mdash; faults, mistakes, embarrassing moments. People will feel that you're more authentic. [Zen Habits]</p> <p><a href="http://www.creditdonkey.com/money-mistakes.html">23 Money Mistakes Almost Everyone Makes</a> &mdash; Don't make a purchase and forget about it. Most major retailers offer 30-day price matching, so if you see the same exact item for less somewhere else, here's an opportunity to get some money back. [Credit Donkey]</p> <p><a href="http://www.experian.com/blogs/news/about/student-loan-debt/">How to Deal With Student Loan Debt</a> &mdash; If you pay half your student loan payment every two weeks, it works out to a full extra payment a year. [Experian]</p> <p><a href="http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/5-ways-stay-awake-using-face">5 Ways to Stay Awake Using Your Face</a> &mdash; Massaging the muscles beneath your cheekbones will make you feel more awake AND relieves sinus headaches! [Pick The Brain]</p> <p><a href="http://timemanagementninja.com/2014/11/10-tiny-time-management-tips">10 Tiny Time Management Tips</a> &mdash; Use a notebook (or an app alternative) to record important information and notes. Avoid the Post-its and random scraps of paper. [Time Management Ninja]</p> <h2>Other Essential Reading</h2> <p><a href="http://www.thesimpledollar.com/ten-questions-to-ask-yourself-before-making-a-purchase">Ten Questions to Ask Yourself Before Making a Purchase</a> &mdash; Ask yourself if you can wait a month or two before you buy something. If the answer is yes, then it means you don't need the item right now&hellip;or maybe not at all! [The Simple Dollar]</p> <p><a href="http://parentingsquad.com/when-and-what-type-of-bank-account-should-i-open-for-my-child">When and What Type of Bank Account Should I Open for My Child</a> &mdash; For long-term gains, your best bet is a savings account with a decent yield. [Parenting Squad]</p> <p><a href="http://www.moneycrush.com/what-does-a-holiday-budget-include/">What Does a Holiday Budget Include?</a> &mdash; Besides the cost of holiday gifts, you also need to factor in expenses for packaging those gifts, festive decorations, and dressy clothing to wear to parties. [Money Crush]</p> <p><a href="http://couponpal.com/blog/avoid-the-holiday-crowds-12-unique-unusual-holiday-travel-destinations">Avoid the Holiday Crowds: 12 Unique &amp; Unusual Holiday Travel Destinations</a> &mdash; Skip out on the holiday crowds at the beach and the slopes, and take in the sights of the Grand Canyon instead! [CouponPal]</p> <p><a href="http://www.popsugar.com/smart-living/DIY-Gift-Wrap-36042893">51 Creative DIY Gift Wrap Ideas for Any Occasion</a> &mdash; Use washi tape to create colorful shapes, patterns, or designs on plain white wrapping paper. [PopSugar Smart Living]</p> <br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">This article is from <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/amy-lu">Amy Lu</a> of <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/best-money-tips-how-to-socialize-with-confidence">Wise Bread</a>, an award-winning personal finance and <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/credit-cards">credit card comparison</a> website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:</div><div class="view view-similarterms view-id-similarterms view-display-id-block_2 view-dom-id-4"> <div class="view-content"> <div class="item-list"> <ul> <li class="views-row views-row-1 views-row-odd views-row-first"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/3-ways-confidence-makes-you-better-with-money">3 Ways Confidence Makes You Better With Money</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-2 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/best-of-personal-finance-41-financial-calculators-for-major-life-decisions">Best Money Tip: 41 Financial Calculators for Major Life Decisions</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-3 views-row-odd"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/5-money-moves-to-make-the-moment-you-graduate">5 Money Moves to Make the Moment You Graduate</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-4 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/never-borrow-money-for-these-5-buys">Never Borrow Money for These 5 Buys</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-5 views-row-odd views-row-last"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/the-10-most-common-financial-aid-mistakes-and-how-to-avoid-them">The 10 Most Common Financial Aid Mistakes — And How To Avoid Them</a></span> </div> </li> </ul> </div> </div> </div> </div><br/></br> Personal Finance best money tips confidence Fri, 07 Nov 2014 20:00:06 +0000 Amy Lu 1252105 at http://www.wisebread.com Want to Be More Attractive? Work These 5 Magic Words (and Phrases) Into Your Vocabulary http://www.wisebread.com/want-to-be-more-attractive-work-these-5-magic-words-and-phrases-into-your-vocabulary <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/want-to-be-more-attractive-work-these-5-magic-words-and-phrases-into-your-vocabulary" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://wisebread.killeracesmedia.netdna-cdn.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/happy-couple-whispering-167615685-small.jpg" alt="happy couple whispering" title="happy couple whispering" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="250" height="140" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p>Many people say the beauty is in the eye of the beholder.</p> <p>As the years go by, it's very liberating to realize that you're the most important beholder. Feeling confident and comfortable in your own skin is one key to becoming more attractive.</p> <p>Want to speed up that process? Here are five magic words and phrases to find that balance of body, mind, and spirit, and become more attractive.</p> <h2>1. &quot;Damn&quot;</h2> <p>It may appear as an indecent proposal, after all certain types of cursing may completely turn off a potential partner.</p> <p>However, the smart use of this curse word has positive effects on your speech. Using the word &quot;damn&quot; at the beginning or end of your speech significantly <a href="http://www.niu.edu/user/tj0bjs1/papers/ss06.pdf">increases your persuasiveness and your perceived intensity</a>.</p> <p>When you use this word, people tend to have a more positive attitude about the main topic of your speech. The logic is that you present yourself as giving your candid opinion and showing passion about a topic. These two qualities are refreshing and make you more attractive in the eyes of others.</p> <p>Now, there is an important difference when saying &quot;damn&quot;:</p> <ul> <li>If you're a woman, say it with a smile. <a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/21604870">Men find happiness as the most attractive female expression</a>.<br /> &nbsp;</li> <li>If you're a man, say it with pride instead. <a href="http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1390319/Scientists-happy-men-significantly-attractive-ladies.html">Women consider men with a raised head or a puffed-up chest more attractive</a>.</li> </ul> <h2>2. &quot;I Like You a Lot&quot;</h2> <p>There's no escaping the law of reciprocation. In a nutshell, this law states that you become obliged to give back what a person gave to you in the first place.</p> <ul> <li>If Peter invites you to a party, you feel obligated to invite him back.<br /> &nbsp;</li> <li>When Mary buys you a cup of coffee, you promise to buy her one the next time.<br /> &nbsp;</li> <li>Steve bought you a present for your birthday, so you make a note to buy him one on his birthday.</li> </ul> <p>In a study in which women were shown Facebook profiles of men, the <a href="http://pss.sagepub.com/content/22/2/172">women were more attracted to the men</a> who had said that they liked the women a lot. The study showed that women were more attracted to men that &quot;like them a lot&quot; over those that just &quot;liked them.&quot;</p> <p>So if you like somebody, say it with passion! That way the feeling has a higher probability of being reciprocated.</p> <h2>3. &quot;Thank You&quot;</h2> <p>Good manners are sexy.</p> <p>Joint research from the Harvard Business School and the Wharton School found two important <a href="http://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2013/03/the-power-of-thanks/">effects from receiving a &quot;thank you&quot;</a> after completing a task for somebody.</p> <p>First, individuals that receive thanks after completing a task feel higher levels of self-worth than those that don't receive a note of gratitude. It's no secret that we like to be around people that make us feel better about ourselves. Saying &quot;thank you&quot; when somebody does something nice for you makes you stand out from the crowd.</p> <p>Second, individuals that receive gratitude are more likely to help the person giving that gratitude. Remember the law of reciprocation? It applies here as well. By saying &quot;thank you,&quot; you create an opportunity to bond with members of the opposite sex and create your window to talk often in the future.</p> <p>Don't miss a chance to thank others &mdash; they will definitely remember it.</p> <h2>4. &quot;You&hellip;&quot;</h2> <p>If you're already close to being intimate with your crush, seal the deal by being specific and using &quot;you.&quot;</p> <p>According to a renowned psychotherapist and author, <a href="http://www.menshealth.com/mhlists/sexy_things_to_say_to_her/printer.php">&quot;you&quot; is the hottest word you can say to a woman in bed</a>. This subtle modification intensifies feelings and acts as a strong stimulant.</p> <ul> <li>Say &quot;you're great&quot; instead of &quot;this is great.&quot;<br /> &nbsp;</li> <li>Whisper &quot;I want you&quot; instead of &quot;I want this.&quot;<br /> &nbsp;</li> <li>Shout &quot;you feel good&quot; and not &quot;this feels good.&quot;</li> </ul> <p>By working &quot;you&quot; into your talk with your partner you convey that you care and focus on your partner. This makes you more attractive and desirable.</p> <h2>5. &quot;What Do You Think&hellip;?&quot;</h2> <p>Whether it is a simple &quot;What do you think we should get for dinner?&quot; or a more profound &quot;What do you think about the new mass transportation proposal for the city?&quot; asking for the opinion of somebody else is a surefire way of making yourself more attractive in their eyes.</p> <p>This way you're asserting that his or her opinion is important to you and that you take it into consideration.</p> <p>No matter how big or small the decision, if you involve somebody in the decision-making process, it makes them feel special and appreciated. This phrase is particularly effective with good looking people because it shows that you care not only for their looks, but also for their brains.</p> <p><em>What words or phrases do you find attractive? Whisper them in comments!</em></p> <br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">This article is from <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/damian-davila">Damian Davila</a> of <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/want-to-be-more-attractive-work-these-5-magic-words-and-phrases-into-your-vocabulary">Wise Bread</a>, an award-winning personal finance and <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/credit-cards">credit card comparison</a> website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:</div><div class="view view-similarterms view-id-similarterms view-display-id-block_2 view-dom-id-5"> <div class="view-content"> <div class="item-list"> <ul> <li class="views-row views-row-1 views-row-odd views-row-first"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/12-ways-to-feel-more-attractive-without-actually-changing-how-you-look">12 Ways to Feel More Attractive Without Actually Changing How You Look</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-2 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/the-5-habits-you-must-break-to-become-more-self-confident">The 5 Habits You Must Break to Become More Self-Confident</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-3 views-row-odd"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/how-to-do-things-that-scare-you">How to Do Things That Scare You</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-4 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/10-ways-even-shy-people-can-fake-confidence-and-get-ahead">10 Ways Even Shy People Can Fake Confidence and Get Ahead</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-5 views-row-odd views-row-last"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/15-ways-to-gain-more-confidence-today">15 Ways to Gain More Confidence Today</a></span> </div> </li> </ul> </div> </div> </div> </div><br/></br> Personal Development attraction attractiveness confidence romance Mon, 03 Nov 2014 11:00:05 +0000 Damian Davila 1248273 at http://www.wisebread.com 17 Little Ways to Feel More Confident http://www.wisebread.com/17-little-ways-to-feel-more-confident <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/17-little-ways-to-feel-more-confident" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://wisebread.killeracesmedia.netdna-cdn.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/strong-confident-woman-80614231-small.jpg" alt="strong confident woman" title="strong confident woman" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="250" height="140" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p>Confidence is a funny thing.</p> <p>If you have it, you can do just about anything, and oddly enough, you're much more likely to do it well. But without it, even the smallest tasks can seem overwhelming, and if your confidence level is really low, you might feel tempted to quit before you even try. (See also: <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/15-ways-to-gain-more-confidence-today?ref=seealso">15 Ways to Gain More Self Confidence Today</a>)</p> <p>Suffice to say, confidence is a key component of a happy, fulfilled life.</p> <p>The problem is, confidence isn't something you can buy. There's no magic pill, no secret formula that can just &quot;poof&quot; all your insecurities away. If confidence doesn't come naturally to you, then you'll have to work a little to get it.</p> <p>But rest assured, it <em>can</em> be done. And it's a lot easier than you might think.</p> <h2>1. Smile</h2> <p>Sounds overly simple, I know, but there's actually <a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/cutting-edge-leadership/201206/there-s-magic-in-your-smile">quite a bit of science to back it up</a>. Smiling releases neuropeptides that counteract stress, along with a host of neurotransmitters that lower your blood pressure, decrease pain, fight off depression, and give you that all-over good feeling. In fact, as mood therapy goes, smiling is an all-natural, zero-calorie, no negative side-effect solution that doesn't cost you a dime. So use those facial muscles and smile.</p> <h2>2. Laugh</h2> <p>Like smiling, laughing produces all sorts of wonderful changes in the body, <a href="http://www.pbs.org/thisemotionallife/topic/humor/benefits-humor">benefiting both your emotional and physical well-being</a>.</p> <p>So, while you certainly don't want to start laughing inappropriately, you can use laughter to reduce stress and anxiety, improve your mood, and increase self-esteem. Tell a joke, share a funny story or, if all else fails, watch or listen to your favorite comedian and laugh all by yourself. The benefits of regular laughter are profound and cumulative.</p> <h2>3. Stay Informed</h2> <p>It's said that <a href="http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/top-7-ways-learning-improves-confidence/">knowledge is power</a> and when it comes to boosting your confidence, that couldn't be more true. When you know what you're talking about, you're much more likely to speak up, interact, and engage with others around you.</p> <p>Over time, those small doses of positive interaction build up confidence and reinforce your self-esteem.</p> <h2>4. Learn Something New</h2> <p>While we're on the subject of &quot;knowing your stuff,&quot; let's also talk about the stuff you don't know, but could. Expanding your horizons allows you to gain a broader and richer perspective of the world around you, which, of course, allows you to better adapt to all those surprises that life throws your way. And when you feel enlightened and prepared, you're much more likely to feel confident as well, something trainer author Wes Doss notes about in his book, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1932777377/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=390957&amp;creativeASIN=1932777377&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;tag=wisbre03-20&amp;linkId=F2JZV5WUZWXUVUXR">Condition to Win: Dynamic Techniques for Performance Oriented Mental Conditioning</a>. He writes, &quot;...and we have found that the best way to develop confidence is through performance accomplishments; in other words, through success.&quot;</p> <p>So, don't just think &quot;smarter.&quot; Think wiser, more experienced, and more worldly, too.</p> <h2>5. Meditate</h2> <p>Meditation grounds you and keeps you balanced and focused. It reduces stress, puts fears and worries into perspective, and even allows you to mentally &quot;plan&quot; to succeed, as <a href="http://www.oprah.com/spirit/Boost-Your-Self-Esteem-with-Meditation">Oprah learned from the Dalai Lama himself</a>. Plus, it's free and requires no special equipment to work. So what have you got to lose?</p> <h2>6. Exercise</h2> <p>Take a walk, go for a run, attend a yoga class or simply dance in your living room until you can't dance no more. Exercise eases anxiety, relieves stress, and slowly but surely will make you feel stronger and healthier. And if there's one easy way to boost confidence, it's the feeling of strength and stamina.</p> <p>In fact, <a href="http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-living/fitness/in-depth/exercise/art-20048389">exercise offers a whole host of benefits</a>, other than the obvious.</p> <h2>7. Get a Manicure</h2> <p>Or a pedicure, or a massage, or a facial. A nice, long soak in a bubble bath would be equally as good. Pampering makes you feel good because it's an act of self-love. You're essentially telling your subconscious that you're worth the extra effort. <a href="http://www.utsandiego.com/news/2014/aug/05/experts-pamper-spa-health/">And that can do wonders for your confidence</a>.</p> <h2>8. Wear Good Underwear</h2> <p>While others can't see what you're wearing underneath, you know what it looks like, and you'll get a delightful little boost of confidence when you're wearing your best.</p> <p>So, don't just go for clean &mdash; go for nice. Sexy, silky, classic whatever floats your boat. If you feel good putting it on, you'll feel good all day.</p> <h2>9. Dress to the Nines</h2> <p>And speaking of what you're wearing, underwear isn't the only way your wardrobe can boost your confidence. Studies show that the color of your clothes has a direct effect on your mood.</p> <p>Red is best known as the &quot;power color&quot; for example, while blue can have a calming effect.</p> <p>Orange can inspire creativity, and yellow makes you feel cheerful.</p> <p>In other words, if you need a quick pick-me-up, changing the color of your shirt can definitely do the trick.</p> <p>But let's take that concept one step further. Try putting on the best thing you have.</p> <p>If you're struggling with confidence, wearing sweats and a t-shirt (no matter the color), isn't going to give you the boost you need. Like wearing good underwear, dressing up <a href="http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0022103112000200">makes you feel more attractive</a>, according to a study at Northwestern University. It doesn't have to be fancy or expensive or have a designer label. It just has to make you feel good when you wear it.</p> <p>And when you feel good on the outside, it's easier to feel good on the inside.</p> <h2>10. Make a To-Do List</h2> <p>And then work on checking everything off as complete. Since we've already established that achieving goals breeds confidence, what better way to take advantage of that concept than by creating a to-do list that you know you can complete?</p> <p>The key is to put items on your to-do list that you can easily complete. Making phone calls for example, taking clothes to the cleaners, paying bills and the like are all tasks that you should be able to do without a great deal of effort or time. And that's fine, because in this instance, it's not the actual doing that gives you the boost; it's seeing how much you accomplished throughout the day.</p> <h2>11. Pay It Forward</h2> <p>Several years ago, someone started the &quot;Random Acts of Kindness&quot; concept with the intention of making the world a better place. And while that's certainly a noble cause, there is a more personal reason to put this philosophy into practice: giving and helping others make you feel good, too.</p> <p>The good news is, your random act of kindness doesn't have to be anything big or expensive. Sure, you can volunteer your time or money, but you could also hold the door open for someone as you walk into the grocery store, purposely hang back so someone can merge in front of you on the highway, or mow your neighbor's lawn because he's elderly and has difficulty doing it himself.</p> <p>The truth is, there's no limit to the number of ways you can send kindness out into the world. And the more you give to others, the better you'll feel inside. In fact, <a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/compassion-matters/201011/generosity-what-s-in-it-you">generosity is essential</a> to a happy and healthy life.</p> <h2>12. Save Five Dollars</h2> <p>Or 10, if you can spare it, and then relish watching your nest egg grow. Money may not be able to buy happiness, but it sure can make life a whole lot easier. The comfort you'll get from feeling financially secure is a confidence booster any way you slice it.</p> <p>As American Psychotherapist Nathanial Branden puts it, &quot;Money and self-esteem go hand in hand.&quot;</p> <h2>13. Splurge</h2> <p>Okay, yes, I know I just told you to save, but once in a while it doesn't hurt to splurge. Like pampering, buying yourself something nice sends a message to your subconscious &mdash; &quot;I'm worth it&quot; &mdash; that translates into a confidence boost.</p> <p>Now, this is different from shopping out of boredom or depression, and of course, you need to be strategic about your purchases, or you'll just end up spending money on stuff you don't really want.</p> <p>To keep the balance, plan your &quot;love-me&quot; purchases in advance. Pick something you want and then save for it. Make it something really nice, something you'd love to have but aren't likely to buy on a whim. When you've saved enough, you can treat yourself guilt-free.</p> <h2>14. Play to Your Strengths</h2> <p>Pick something you're good at. It can be anything &mdash; cooking, crossword puzzles or turning a cartwheel on your front lawn &mdash; and do that thing. Then feed and grow that confidence by trying some of the other tips in this list.</p> <h2>15. Visualize</h2> <p>Think of something that makes you nervous or insecure, something that you think you can't do. And then imagine yourself succeeding at whatever that thing is.</p> <p>This visualization technique might sound silly but remember, your subconscious can't tell the difference between reality and things you've imagined. It only knows what it's been programmed to believe, so if you feed it a constant stream of &quot;I can do this&quot; kind of programming, your subconscious will start to think it's true and you'll feel more confident as a result.</p> <p>In fact, that's why <a href="http://www.unm.edu/~lkravitz/Article%20folder/mentalskillsUNM.html">experts recommend</a> making &quot;imagery&quot; or visualization part of a mental-training program for athletes. Seeing yourself successfully performing a task improves your chances of doing it for real.</p> <h2>16. Make Eye-Contact</h2> <p>One of the quickest ways to &quot;appear&quot; self-assured is to make eye-contact with whomever you're speaking to. This obviously, can be a little intimidating if you're not brimming with confidence, but there's an easy fix for that: Look at the bridge of their nose instead.</p> <p>They won't be able to tell the difference, and it's much easier to maintain on your end, especially if you're feeling overly self-conscious. Since we've already established that your subconscious is easily fooled, the more you pretend to be confident, the more you'll start to believe that you are.</p> <h2>17. Live</h2> <p>Not just &quot;do what has to be done&quot; but live fully, openly, and with all the gusto you can muster. Try something new, take up a hobby, spend time with friends, and partake in all the abundance the universe has to offer.</p> <p>Don't just sleep, for example, create a luxurious, soothing environment where you can retreat and slumber like a King (or Queen!). Don't just eat whatever happens to be fast or on sale. Instead, treat your meals as the spiritual experience they were meant to be by being conscious of what you're eating, how it was prepared, and all the fantastic flavors you enjoy when you eat it.</p> <p>For the most part, we spend a good majority of our time doing things by rote, giving very little thought to the meaning or intention behind it. Change that, and you'll change your entire perspective.</p> <p><em>Now, it's your turn&hellip; what do you do to feel more confident? Please share in comments!</em></p> <br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">This article is from <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/kate-luther">Kate Luther</a> of <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/17-little-ways-to-feel-more-confident">Wise Bread</a>, an award-winning personal finance and <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/credit-cards">credit card comparison</a> website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:</div><div class="view view-similarterms view-id-similarterms view-display-id-block_2 view-dom-id-4"> <div class="view-content"> <div class="item-list"> <ul> <li class="views-row views-row-1 views-row-odd views-row-first"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/9-techniques-that-can-help-you-conquer-any-fear">9 Techniques That Can Help You Conquer Any Fear</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-2 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/how-to-stop-being-afraid-and-live-your-dreams">How to Stop Being Afraid and Live Your Dreams</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-3 views-row-odd"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/confident-people-have-these-10-things-in-their-homes-do-you">Confident People Have These 10 Things in Their Homes — Do You?</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-4 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/9-reasons-alone-time-is-good-for-your-soul">9 Reasons Alone Time Is Good For Your Soul</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-5 views-row-odd views-row-last"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/25-ways-to-feel-better-fast">25 Ways to Feel Better Fast</a></span> </div> </li> </ul> </div> </div> </div> </div><br/></br> General Tips Personal Development confidence self-confidence Fri, 03 Oct 2014 11:00:04 +0000 Kate Luther 1226230 at http://www.wisebread.com Confident People Have These 10 Things in Their Homes — Do You? http://www.wisebread.com/confident-people-have-these-10-things-in-their-homes-do-you <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/confident-people-have-these-10-things-in-their-homes-do-you" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://wisebread.killeracesmedia.netdna-cdn.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/woman-home-office-97779944-small.jpg" alt="home office" title="home office" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="250" height="140" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p>How do you measure confidence? The way you walk? The way you talk? How many friends you have? Maybe.</p> <p>How about the things in your home? While there is no one true measure of confidence, there may well be some objects that confident people all seem to possess. So take a look at this list, and if you're lacking many of these, walk, nay, strut to your local homewares store immediately. (See also: <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/ambitious-people-have-these-10-things-in-their-homes-do-you?ref=seealso">Ambitious People Have These 10 Things in their Homes &mdash; Do You?</a>)</p> <h2>1. Power Wardrobe</h2> <p>I know from experience that when I feel like I look good in the clothes I'm wearing, I'm inherently more confident. I'm sure you've felt that way at one time or another as well.</p> <p>To feel confident in what you're wearing on a regular basis, however, writer David Bakke suggests that you invest in a power wardrobe so you can dress for success every day. A good way to get started on building your power wardrobe is to take inventory of your closet and get rid of anything that doesn't make you feel your best. And make sure that what you're buying to replace it fits properly, accentuates your assets, and detracts from problem areas, whether they're real or just figments of your self-conscious imagination. (See also: <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/build-a-work-wardrobe-for-any-job-on-a-budget?ref=seealso">Build a Work Wardrobe for Any Job on a Budget</a>)</p> <h2>2. Books &mdash; Especially Inspirational Ones</h2> <p>Your intelligence makes you more confident whether you realize it or not. Think back to your school days when you had a pop quiz and you were fully prepared to ace it. You were confident, right? It's safe to assume then that there's a correlation between the knowledge you possess and the confidence you have in yourself &mdash; in certain situations, at least &mdash; which often manifests itself in adulthood in the books you choose to keep on your shelf. In particular, if you have inspirational books (or books that inspire you) or books on self-improvement, it's a safe bet that you're facing the day with your head held high.</p> <p>Kristy McCarley, CEO of the faith-based fitness startup Shazzy Fitness, agrees. &quot;I've found that every successful entrepreneur I've ever met is also confident, and the common denominator is a passion to read,&quot; she says. &quot;Confident entrepreneurs are not intimidated by new situations or new challenges and regularly seek sources of information to learn and grow. Look at any confident business owner and I guarantee you'll find that they have a set of books that have inspired them and a list of books they plan to read in the future.&quot;</p> <h2>3. Vision Board</h2> <p>A vision board is a collage of images, photos, quotes, affirmations and other positive items that provide you with happiness and motivation. A vision board is helpful if you're using the Law of Attraction (the belief that positive thoughts attract positive results) to set and meet goals, small or large. Rob Henson, who runs a consulting business with his wife, says that their vision board is crucial to their confidence. &quot;It reminds us of what we are striving for,&quot; he says about the vision board. &quot;Everything we want out of life is on that board. Why are we confident? Because each year we get to take something off the board because we worked hard to make it happen. That means we also have room for a new goal as well.&quot;</p> <h2>4. Organization</h2> <p>I know a lot of messy people. Disheveled, disorganized, and, in some cases, in complete disarray. It goes without saying that they're not the most confident people I know, and it's easy to see why. How can you be confident if your home is a mess? Where are those important files when you need them? Would you be embarrassed for your friends to see the way you live? Being unorganized is the antithesis of self-confidence, and, in fact, <a href="http://www.denverpost.com/room/ci_8060057">clutter may be the result of lacking confidence</a>, among other things.</p> <h2>5. Exercise Equipment</h2> <p>Those of us who aren't so physically fit try to cover up our bodies as much as possible because we feel self-conscious and embarrassed. We can change that by joining a gym, or better yet, keeping exercise equipment at home to make fitness goals more accessible and convenient. And there are other benefits to exercising outside of an improved self-image. Pilates pro Kim MacKenzie says, &quot;Exercise boosts endorphins and when you feel good about your body, you tend to feel better about yourself, and thus be more confident.&quot;</p> <h2>6. A Million-Dollar Check</h2> <p>Life coach Jason Nik, author of <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1481906089/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=390957&amp;creativeASIN=1481906089&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;tag=wisbre03-20&amp;linkId=UOF6S2EYLIQEXUGB">The Warrior's Odyssey</a>, has made it his job to build client confidence. He recommends confident people who know they'll achieve financial success to write checks to themselves and frame it to help them stay motivated.</p> <p>&quot;In my experience, confident people have things in their homes that show the success they know they will achieve,&quot; he explains. &quot;For example, confident people that know they will become wealthy in the future write checks to themselves. Before actor Jim Carrey became successful, he was broke but confident he would succeed. So he wrote a $10 million check to himself. He later became the first actor to receive a $20 million [per-film] salary.&quot;</p> <h2>7. Items of Personal Interest Proudly Displayed</h2> <p>These items could include musical instruments, artifacts from their travels, photos of friends and family, and things made with their own two hands, among other things. The message here is that confident people aren't afraid to place snippets of their lives around the house for everyone who visits to see. These items hold significant sentimental value for one reason or another, and they're proud to have them.</p> <h2>8. Religious Icons</h2> <p>In many cases, people of faith have confidence in their deity to do right by them, which in turn makes the individual more confident in themselves. To honor their faith and remind themselves why they're faithful to begin with, they keep meaningful religious symbols and items in their home.</p> <h2>9. Awards, Degrees, and Certificates</h2> <p>Sure, many people graduate college and go on to earn awards, but that doesn't make yours any less significant. Confident people realize that, and they're proud to display their accomplishments where everybody can see them. Some people will interpret this as being insecure &mdash; &quot;why do you have to remind others of how great you are?&quot; they're thinking &mdash; but haters are gonna hate. Let 'em. You've earned your success, and you should definitely strut your stuff about it in the privacy of your own dominion.</p> <h2>10. Guests</h2> <p>Confident people often like to entertain and host parties and guests on a regular basis. I'm confident in my social etiquette and hosting skills, and I love having people in my homes whenever I can. I want people to see my art, to enjoy my little luxuries, to have an opportunity to relax while I whip up a delicious meal. Their delight makes me happy and boosts my confidence even more. This is what I'm working for &mdash; to have a life of which I can be proud &mdash; and one that I can share with others. Because, really, what else is there?</p> <p><em>Do you have suggestions on what confident people have in their homes? Let me know in the comments below.</em></p> <br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">This article is from <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/mikey-rox">Mikey Rox</a> of <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/confident-people-have-these-10-things-in-their-homes-do-you">Wise Bread</a>, an award-winning personal finance and <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/credit-cards">credit card comparison</a> website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:</div><div class="view view-similarterms view-id-similarterms view-display-id-block_2 view-dom-id-6"> <div class="view-content"> <div class="item-list"> <ul> <li class="views-row views-row-1 views-row-odd views-row-first"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/17-little-ways-to-feel-more-confident">17 Little Ways to Feel More Confident</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-2 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/9-techniques-that-can-help-you-conquer-any-fear">9 Techniques That Can Help You Conquer Any Fear</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-3 views-row-odd"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/how-to-stop-being-afraid-and-live-your-dreams">How to Stop Being Afraid and Live Your Dreams</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-4 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/9-reasons-alone-time-is-good-for-your-soul">9 Reasons Alone Time Is Good For Your Soul</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-5 views-row-odd views-row-last"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/25-ways-to-feel-better-fast">25 Ways to Feel Better Fast</a></span> </div> </li> </ul> </div> </div> </div> </div><br/></br> General Tips Personal Development confidence esteem self confidence things Wed, 03 Sep 2014 17:12:07 +0000 Mikey Rox 1199894 at http://www.wisebread.com 7 Simple Ways to Get Motivated for Your Workout http://www.wisebread.com/7-simple-ways-to-get-motivated-for-your-workout <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/7-simple-ways-to-get-motivated-for-your-workout" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://wisebread.killeracesmedia.netdna-cdn.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/couple-workout-508857633-small.jpg" alt="couple workout" title="couple workout" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="250" height="167" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p>Staying motivated is at least half the battle when it comes to keeping active. Without the brain in the game, it's hard for the body to follow suit. Thankfully, you can get a jolt of motivation with just a few simple tips, and <em>without</em> an expensive personal trainer. (See also: <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/6-surprisingly-simple-ways-to-motivate-yourself?ref=seealso">6 Surprisingly Simple Ways to Motivate Yourself</a>)</p> <p>So get on your grind with these workout tips that don't cost a dime.</p> <h2>1. Set (Realistic) Goals</h2> <p>Working out with no goal in mind is a recipe for motivation disaster. Maybe you want to start by walking the recommended <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/50-ways-to-walk-more">10,000 steps a day</a>. Perhaps you'd like engage in a strength training routine three days a week. What about losing those last 10 pounds? Or maybe you want to complete one of those crazy monster runs up a mountain. Whatever it is, make your goal measurable and realistic. And write it down or sign up for the event&hellip; now.</p> <h2>2. Be Incremental</h2> <p>Thing is, sometimes goals &mdash; even attainable ones &mdash; can seem like gigantic beasts. Getting there doesn't have to be so overwhelming, however. Break down your larger goal into smaller pieces. Attack each piece day by day. For example, if you'd like to run your first 5K, you can look up (many) plans online that give you daily workouts. Likewise, if you're looking to lose a few pounds, you can do daily or weekly weigh-ins to track your progress. If it helps, write down your workouts on a calendar and cross them off as you move along. (See also: <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/8-ways-to-track-your-diet-and-fitness-for-free?ref=seealso">8 Ways To Track Your Diet and Fitness For Free</a>)</p> <h2>3. Get Support</h2> <p>Friends and family can certainly make finding motivation much easier. Plan to head to the gym to do weights with your buddy or meet up with a coworker for a brisk walk at lunch. You'll be having so much fun that it won't feel like working out at all. And even friends who don't live so near can help &mdash; keep in close contact via social media to stoke the fires from afar. Even a quick &quot;you're going to smash your workout today!&quot; message can do wonders.</p> <h2>4. Visualize</h2> <p>If you're on a site like Pinterest, you post powerful quotes and other visual reminders on a virtual motivation board. You can also find free workout ideas this way &mdash; here's <a href="http://www.pinterest.com/chapter3blog/running-fitness/">my motivation board</a> for a jumping off point. Take this idea analog by cutting out photos and sayings from magazines, newspapers, and anywhere else you find a healthy dose of positivity.</p> <h2>5. Make It Convenient</h2> <p>Give yourself a boost by making the challenge much less challenging: exercise at home! Getting to the gym is sometimes the hardest part for me, so sneaking in sweat sessions in my living room helps on particularly difficult days. These <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/these-at-home-exercises-will-give-you-a-gym-quality-workout-for-free">at-home exercises</a> will give you a gym-quality workout for free. And here are five ways to turn <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/5-ways-to-turn-your-walk-into-a-real-workout">your neighborhood walk</a> into a real workout.</p> <h2>6. Forge Ahead</h2> <p>If you have a bad day, don't fret. Instead, keep your eyes ahead of you. Nothing squashes motivation more than a negative attitude. Keep yours in check by valuing the hard work you've already done toward your goals. We all have off days, get sick, or feel tired. Remember that rest is okay and &mdash; actually &mdash; quite good for the body. If you have a strenuous workout planned and don't feel up to it, exchange it for something lighter. Or at very minimum, take a 10 minute walk or jog to see if that doesn't get you feeling better. Movement begets movement.</p> <h2>7. Reap Rewards</h2> <p>Last, but certainly not least, reward yourself each step of the way. I have a friend who recently started running. Her reward? Pretty running clothing &mdash; and it's worked to get her from &quot;just finishing&quot; her first 5K to whittling her time down to 27 minutes in just six short months. And she looks good crossing that finish line with all her bright, colorful gear. Better yet, you can give to yourself on the cheap, here are <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/20-free-and-fun-ways-to-reward-yourself">20 free and fun ways to reward yourself</a> for a job well done. You deserve it!</p> <p><em>How do you keep your motivation stoked for working out?</em></p> <br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">This article is from <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/ashley-marcin">Ashley Marcin</a> of <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/7-simple-ways-to-get-motivated-for-your-workout">Wise Bread</a>, an award-winning personal finance and <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/credit-cards">credit card comparison</a> website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:</div><div class="view view-similarterms view-id-similarterms view-display-id-block_2 view-dom-id-7"> <div class="view-content"> <div class="item-list"> <ul> <li class="views-row views-row-1 views-row-odd views-row-first"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/5-apps-that-pay-you-to-exercise">5 Apps That Pay You To Exercise</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-2 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/7-more-quick-tips-and-tricks-for-better-posture">7 More Quick Tips and Tricks for Better Posture</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-3 views-row-odd"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/10-no-sweat-workouts-perfect-for-the-workplace">10 No-Sweat Workouts Perfect for the Workplace</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-4 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/the-ultimate-green-workout">The Ultimate &quot;Green&quot; Workout</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-5 views-row-odd views-row-last"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/the-cheapest-way-to-get-fit-and-strong-in-30-days-or-less">The Cheapest Way to Get Fit and Strong in 30 Days or Less</a></span> </div> </li> </ul> </div> </div> </div> </div><br/></br> Health and Beauty confidence fitness motivation workout Wed, 03 Sep 2014 11:00:05 +0000 Ashley Marcin 1199893 at http://www.wisebread.com 4 Ways Your Mind Can Make You Rich http://www.wisebread.com/4-ways-your-mind-can-make-you-rich <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/4-ways-your-mind-can-make-you-rich" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://wisebread.killeracesmedia.netdna-cdn.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/french photo.jpg" alt="Le baiser de l&#039;hôtel de ville" title="Le baiser de l&#039;hôtel de ville" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="250" height="140" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p>When I was in my early 20s, I had a lovely photograph of a solitary woman hanging in my bedroom. My mother suggested that I switch it out for a picture of a couple. According to a <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/knowmore-tv/bedroom-feng-shui_b_4784380.html">theory of Feng Shui</a> that she had read, the way you decorate your home reflects your intentions &mdash; so if you have artwork depicting loneliness in your bedroom, then you're more likely to be unlucky in love.</p> <p>I rolled my eyes at my mom &mdash; but I switched out the picture of the woman for a poster of Robert Doisneau's famous photograph <a href="http://visualthirst.wordpress.com/2012/03/13/the-story-of-the-most-famous-kiss-le-baiser-de-lhotel-de-ville-the-kiss-by-robert-doisneau/">Le baiser de l'hôtel de ville</a>, which I had previously displayed in my living room.</p> <p>A few months after making the switch, I met the man who is now my husband.</p> <p>While proponents of Feng Shui, the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Law_of_attraction_%28New_Thought%29">law of attraction</a>, and other somewhat off-the-wall theories about cause and effect would claim that the universe responded to my decorating change, science offers an even more intriguing possibility: <a href="https://machineslikeus.com/news/understanding-unconscious-priming">priming</a>.</p> <h2>Understanding Priming</h2> <p>Psychologists have discovered that our behavior and thinking can change based upon the context of information that we receive. This phenomenon is known as <em>priming</em>, and it can affect everything from your behavior to your emotions.</p> <p>For instance, researchers have found that simply hearing the words <a href="http://psycnet.apa.org/?&amp;fa=main.doiLanding&amp;doi=10.1037/0022-3514.71.2.230">Florida, forgetful, and wrinkle</a> is enough to cause individuals to start walking more slowly, as if they are feeling the effects of aging. In another experiment, researchers have found that individuals holding a hot cup of coffee when talking to another person felt more positive about the conversation. The warmth of the cup translated into a feeling of warmth about the interaction.</p> <h2>Think Yourself Rich</h2> <p>There are various ways to provide your brain with the kind of stimulus that can help to achieve your financial dreams &mdash; just as I reached my romantic dream. Here are four things you can do to help put your mind to work for you.</p> <h2>1. Visualize Doing It</h2> <p>Athletes have understood the importance of active visualization for some time. They will often spend hours thinking about what it will look like, sound like, and feel like to stick the landing, sink the shot, or hit the ball.</p> <p>In a recent study at the University of Chicago, three groups of participants were asked to make as many free throws as they could. Then, the first group was asked to practice free throws for an hour every day, the second group was asked to visualize making free throws every day, and the third group did nothing. A month later, the first group had improved by 24%. The second group had improved by an impressive 23% <a href="http://www.breakthroughbasketball.com/mental/visualization.html">without setting foot on a basketball court</a>. The control group had made no improvement. Clearly, visualizing an activity can help you improve your performance.</p> <p>It's important to clarify that visualizing is very different from creating <em>a vision board</em>. That's because vision boards can actually be detrimental to your goals. Studies that ask participants to envision good outcomes (such as getting an A on an exam or winning a tennis match) have found that the <a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-blame-game/201205/throw-away-your-vision-board-0">participants do worse on their exam or match</a> if they have visualized the positive outcome. That's because those types of visions skip over the hard work (and those visualizers do study and practice less), and jumps right to the feel-good ending. This is clearly not helpful.</p> <p>The difference between the type of visualizing that athletes do and the vision boards is action. Athletic visualization is very active and involves multiple senses. Imagining winning the gold or cutting out pictures of the things you'd like to own someday is much more passive and dreamy.</p> <p>If you want to visualize yourself rich, spend your visualization time thinking through how you will handle various financial situations, from salary negotiation to saying no to pressures to spend money. Priming your brain for these situations ahead of time will do much more for your ability to get rich than gluing a picture of a yacht to a piece of poster board.</p> <h2>2. Appreciate What You Have</h2> <p>If you want to use your mind to make yourself rich, take a moment to truly <a href="http://momastery.com/blog/2014/08/11/give-liberty-give-debt/">look at all that you have with new eyes</a>. Isn't it incredible that you can speak to people the world over, learn almost anything about almost any subject, and look at pictures of grumpy cats using a device no bigger than a deck of cards? We really are living in an exciting time and there is an incredible bounty available to us.</p> <p>Reminding yourself of the abundance in your life allows you to step out of the &quot;consume consume consume&quot; culture that we live in and recognize that you can feel rich with what you already have. While this thought experiment will not necessarily add dollars to your bank account, it will leave you feeling richer and more satisfied with your life &mdash; and isn't that the point of wealth?</p> <h2>3. Give Money Away</h2> <p>In his book <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000QFBXHI/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=390957&amp;creativeASIN=B000QFBXHI&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;tag=wisbre03-20&amp;linkId=ZTMUQEI7WVBWYUMD">More Than Enough: The Ten Keys to Changing Your Financial Destiny</a>, Dave Ramsey talks about the difference between having an open hand or a closed fist:</p> <p style="margin-left: 40px;">I see the closed fist often in the area of money: a fist full of dollars tightly held so that those precious dollars never get away. That closed fist represents someone who doesn't know how to give. They think if they clutch those dollars tight enough, never giving, that they are on the path to more than enough. The real world will teach you that the opposite is true: those with more than enough got there by giving.</p> <p>All of this sounds a little woo-woo, but there is something to Ramsey's analogy. Specifically, individuals who are close-fisted with their money tend to have very negative money scripts &mdash; <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/what-did-your-parents-really-teach-you-about-money-it-might-surprise-you">unconscious beliefs about money created in childhood</a>. If you feel that you must hold tightly to your money, you probably believe things like there will never be enough money or the amount of money you have reflects on who you are as a person.</p> <p>One solution to dealing with these money scripts is to get in the habit of giving money away. If you change your attitude about money from something that you must tightly hold to something that flows through your life, then you are in a better position to see and accept wealth-generating opportunities when they arise.</p> <h2>4. Repeat Positive Affirmations</h2> <p>Stuart Smalley was onto something when he repeatedly told himself, &quot;<a href="http://youtu.be/-DIETlxquzY">I'm good enough. I'm smart enough. And doggone it, people like me</a>!&quot;</p> <p>As it turns out, positive affirmations can really help prime your brain to make significant changes. That's because <a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-wise-open-mind/201108/5-steps-make-affirmations-work-you">your mind does not know the difference between reality and fantasy</a>. This is why your heart races while watching a horror movie &mdash; your mind is empathizing with the characters on the screen even though you know intellectually that they are not real.</p> <p>So if you tell yourself over and over &quot;<a href="http://www.loveorabove.com/blog/wealth-affirmations/">I welcome wealth into my life</a> and I love the positive energy that money brings to me,&quot; then your mind will fall in line with the belief system you are stating. Repeat your affirmations out loud three times a day for five minutes. And be like Stuart &mdash; look at yourself in the mirror while you're doing it.</p> <p>If you find yourself rolling your eyes when you state your affirmations, however, you might see no results from this new habit. That's because we all already have affirmations in our heads, and many of them are very negative. You might be trying to reprogram your mind by stating a positive affirmation, but the negative voice inside is undermining it by whispering something like, This is stupid. You will always struggle with money.&quot;</p> <p>If you do have a negative reaction to affirmations, it's a good idea to examine exactly what that inner voice is saying and poke holes in the negative message. Don't let your negative affirmation get in the way of your wealth.</p> <h2>Harness the Power of Your Brain</h2> <p>The human mind is an incredible machine. It helps to create the reality you live in, and you can give it gentle nudges toward the goals you want. If you visualize, appreciate, give, and affirm, your brain will help to bring you closer to the lifestyle you deserve.</p> <p><em>Have you used the power of your brain to build wealth &mdash; or sink more putts? Please share in comments!</em></p> <br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">This article is from <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/emily-guy-birken">Emily Guy Birken</a> of <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/4-ways-your-mind-can-make-you-rich">Wise Bread</a>, an award-winning personal finance and <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/credit-cards">credit card comparison</a> website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:</div><div class="view view-similarterms view-id-similarterms view-display-id-block_2 view-dom-id-8"> <div class="view-content"> <div class="item-list"> <ul> <li class="views-row views-row-1 views-row-odd views-row-first"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/5-ways-good-manners-make-you-wealthier">5 Ways Good Manners Make You Wealthier</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-2 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/8-powerful-brain-hacks-you-can-do-in-under-2-minutes">8 Powerful Brain Hacks You Can Do in Under 2 Minutes</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-3 views-row-odd"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/18-things-people-with-good-social-skills-never-do">18 Things People With Good Social Skills Never Do</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-4 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/10-rude-things-even-polite-people-do">10 Rude Things Even Polite People Do</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-5 views-row-odd views-row-last"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/the-5-habits-you-must-break-to-become-more-self-confident">The 5 Habits You Must Break to Become More Self-Confident</a></span> </div> </li> </ul> </div> </div> </div> </div><br/></br> Personal Development affirmation behavior confidence psychology wealth Mon, 25 Aug 2014 17:00:05 +0000 Emily Guy Birken 1191315 at http://www.wisebread.com How to Stop Being Afraid and Live Your Dreams http://www.wisebread.com/how-to-stop-being-afraid-and-live-your-dreams <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/how-to-stop-being-afraid-and-live-your-dreams" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://wisebread.killeracesmedia.netdna-cdn.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/fear-4588206-small.jpg" alt="fear" title="fear" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="250" height="141" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p>Babe Ruth once said, &quot;It's hard to beat a person who never gives up.&quot; To achieve our dreams, we have to be committed and determined. The twin fears of failure and rejection keep many people from pursuing what they want &mdash; dream careers, loving relationships, passion projects, and even moving to a new city. Fear is a powerful deterrent, although we can also turn it into an ally and motivator. Fear is just energy; it can either hold us back or propel us forward. Below are six ways to make it work for you. (See also: <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/how-to-do-things-that-scare-you?ref=seealso">How to Do Things That Scare You</a>)</p> <h2>1. Take Small, Low-Risk Steps</h2> <p>Sometimes a big change can feel like an overwhelming risk. We run what-if scenarios over and over in our minds. Try breaking down your big goal into as many small pieces as possible. For example, let's assume you dream about making a move to a city far from where you live now, and you don't know anyone there. Some small steps might be to get a guidebook about the city, read local blogs authored by people who live there, connect with friends of friends who live there to get their perspective, and take a long weekend trip to visit. These small steps will give you information and experience, build excitement about the possibility of making the move, and reduce the risk you feel about taking such a big step.</p> <h2>2. Get Inspiration From Others</h2> <p>One of the best ways to reduce fear is to hear the stories of others who have done what you want to do, particularly if they went through rejection and challenging times to make it. Seek out books, inspirational blog posts and news articles, and people in your network who have done things you want to do. Learn from their experiences, and if possible, connect directly to find out how they kept up their courage while pursuing their dreams despite rejection. When you see someone who's made his or her dreams come true, it's easier to imagine yourself in that same position. Those inspirational stories will also keep you motivated and strong if your plans don't unfold exactly the way you want. (See also: <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/how-i-erased-70000-of-debt-and-became-an-eventual-millionaire?ref=seealso">How I Erased $70,000 of Debt</a>)</p> <h2>3. Become Informed</h2> <p>Knowledge is power. It's also a surefire way to fight fear. Many times what we don't know is what scares us. If you're thinking about a new career path, take a beginner's class related to your dream job. Volunteer or get an internship with someone who can show you the ropes. Go to networking and other industry-related events where you can meet people who share your passion.</p> <p>For example, I started my career in theater, although most of my work was on the business and production side. When I decided I wanted to try my hand at writing an original full-length play, I connected with a dear friend of mine who is a theater professor and told him my idea. That was a frightening admission for me; the goal felt so big and I had never tried to write a play before. My friend coached me through the process and suggested playwrights that I should read to see how they structured their plays. I also did a lot of research on correct formatting, plot and character development, and the process of getting a play produced from scratch. Once my play was written, I then did another batch of research to discover what companies and contests I should approach to get my work read and possibly accepted for production. All of this research and information really helped me put aside my fear and accomplish this personal and professional goal.</p> <h2>4. Practice Rejection</h2> <p>Just like fear of the unknown, fear of rejection is scariest the first couple of times it happens. At this point, I've been rejected and disappointed so many times that it's honestly no big deal to me anymore. Over the years, I've submitted for many writing and consulting opportunities that never worked out. Many times I never even heard if my submission was received and reviewed. I see all of these rejections as part of the path to achieving my dreams. Just as we can practice our skills to improve them, we can also practice rejection. Imagine the worst-case scenario. What would you do if you tried something and it didn't work out the way you wanted? Sit with those emotions for a few minutes. Then, take a deep breath and imagine yourself moving on. Rejection may set you back, but it doesn't have to break you. (See also: <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/9-ways-to-maintain-motivation-when-the-going-gets-tough?ref=seealso">Staying Motivated When the Going Gets Tough</a>)</p> <h2>5. Create Your Success</h2> <p>We can create our own success rather than waiting for others to provide us with opportunities to be successful. This is especially true for writers and content creators. Traditional media used to own communication channels. Now with blogs, social media, and self-publishing, all of us are mini-media companies. We can quickly, easily, and cheaply get our writing, videos, and creative work in front of others and immediately get feedback. That feedback will teach us something and make us better if we give ourselves the chance to try. (See also: <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/forget-your-weaknesses-and-build-on-your-strengths-to-find-success?ref=seealso">Build on Your Strengths to Find Success</a>)</p> <h2>6. Give Your Disappointment Somewhere to Go</h2> <p>The worst part of rejection is the fear of how we'll feel if it happens. Rather than worrying about that, make a commitment about what you'll do if rejection comes your way. Have an outlet to help you get rid of your disappointment. This could be exercise or a support network of friends and family. When I was first starting out as a writer, I faced a lot of rejection. I decided that every time I got rejected, I would do something nice for someone. That could be sending a note to a friend I hadn't spoken to in a while to say I was thinking of him or her or taking the extra time to smile and ask the cashier at my local drugstore how their day is going. This way the rejection was transformed into a positive action and it made me feel good to do these nice things for people. I also would remind myself that getting a rejection put me one step closer to finding the right opportunity.</p> <p>Rejection, failure, and disappointment are natural parts of life. As the great Dolly Parton said, &quot;If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.&quot; Use these tips to manage your fear and then go get exactly the life you want.</p> <p><em>How do you deal with fear of rejection? Don't be afraid, share your experience in comments!</em></p> <br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">This article is from <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/christa-avampato">Christa Avampato</a> of <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/how-to-stop-being-afraid-and-live-your-dreams">Wise Bread</a>, an award-winning personal finance and <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/credit-cards">credit card comparison</a> website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:</div><div class="view view-similarterms view-id-similarterms view-display-id-block_2 view-dom-id-9"> <div class="view-content"> <div class="item-list"> <ul> <li class="views-row views-row-1 views-row-odd views-row-first"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/9-techniques-that-can-help-you-conquer-any-fear">9 Techniques That Can Help You Conquer Any Fear</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-2 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/how-to-do-things-that-scare-you">How to Do Things That Scare You</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-3 views-row-odd"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/17-little-ways-to-feel-more-confident">17 Little Ways to Feel More Confident</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-4 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/confident-people-have-these-10-things-in-their-homes-do-you">Confident People Have These 10 Things in Their Homes — Do You?</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-5 views-row-odd views-row-last"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/how-to-be-fearless-and-do-what-you-want">How to Be Fearless and Do What You Want</a></span> </div> </li> </ul> </div> </div> </div> </div><br/></br> General Tips Personal Development confidence fear rejection Mon, 17 Mar 2014 10:24:46 +0000 Christa Avampato 1130642 at http://www.wisebread.com 9 Techniques That Can Help You Conquer Any Fear http://www.wisebread.com/9-techniques-that-can-help-you-conquer-any-fear <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/9-techniques-that-can-help-you-conquer-any-fear" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://wisebread.killeracesmedia.netdna-cdn.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/obstacle-184236091.jpg" alt="obstacle" title="obstacle" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="250" height="160" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p>John Wayne, an American icon of fearlessness, famously said, &quot;Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway.&quot; We're all afraid of something. What defines us is not that fear, but how we rise above it. Below are effective methods I've used to conquer my many fears and live a rich, fulfilling life in the process. (See also: <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/how-to-do-things-that-scare-you?ref=seealso">How to Do Things That Scare You</a>)</p> <h2>1. Breathe</h2> <p>When we're afraid of something, we hold our breath. It's a very natural reaction that signals to the body to brace itself for some kind of danger. If we can override that reaction and keep the breath flowing, we'll find our stress response (also known as &quot;fight or flight&quot;) drops, and we're able to think clearly and perform to the best of our abilities.</p> <h2>2. Remember What You've Already Been Through</h2> <p>Everyone I know has faced some kind of hardship and difficulty. In times when we feel afraid, it's important to remember that we've been afraid before, and we lived to tell the tale. Those old crises didn't kill us. They made us stronger and more resilient. Best of all, while the fear eventually subsides, the strength and resilience we cultivate when we overcome fears stay with us for our entire lives. (See also: <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/forget-your-weaknesses-and-build-on-your-strengths-to-find-success?ref=seealso">Build on Your Strengths to Find Success</a>)</p> <h2>3. Keep a Journal</h2> <p>To aid my memory of past fears and how I conquered them, I keep a regular journal in addition to my daily blog. Every day I record my roses and thorns. I write down what went right in my day and what didn't go right. Then I think about how these events will inform my day tomorrow. Many times, I find myself writing about my fears and worries. Having this record I can flip through helps me realize I've been here before, I'll be here again, and I'll always find a way to be okay.</p> <h2>4. Build Your Support Network</h2> <p>Nothing helps us conquer fear like a cheering squad. Be a good friend and rally around others when they're afraid. That positivity will help you build strong bonds to others who can support you when you need them and it can do wonders to help you bolster your own sense of fortitude. (See also: <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/make-friends-and-be-happy-why-cultivating-relationships-is-good-for-you?ref=seealso">Cultivating Relationships Is Good for You</a>)</p> <h2>5. Fake It 'Til You Make It</h2> <p>When I'm most afraid, I tell myself the exact opposite message. I say to myself, &quot;I am strong, tough, and capable, and I can get through this.&quot; Even if I don't believe these things in the moment, actively saying them to myself begins to change my mind. Once I change my mind, I can change anything.</p> <h2>6. Keep an Inspirational Quotes Folder</h2> <p>I'm a sucker for inspirational quotes. Pinterest has made it easier than ever for me to keep track of all of my favorites. I have a board titled &quot;<a href="http://www.pinterest.com/christanyc/inspirational-words/">Inspirational Words</a>.&quot; When I'm afraid, lost, and uncertain, I open it up and read a few of the pins to get my mojo pumping.</p> <h2>7. Make Home Your Haven</h2> <p>It's natural to seek refuge when we're afraid. My (very small) apartment is comfortable and has things that make me happy. It's a retreat for my mind, body, and soul and a constant source of calm that serves me well when I'm frazzled and scared. Find a space, however small, in your home that helps you repair and restore during times of trouble. (See also: <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/the-happiness-habits-7-ways-to-feel-better-now?ref=seealso">Happiness Habits to Feel Better Now</a>)</p> <h2>8. Knowledge Is Power</h2> <p>Uncertainty is frightening. When I'm faced with a new situation that scares me, I do everything possible to get informed and stay that way.&nbsp;<span style="font-size: 13px;">No one in my family is a fan of the water, and&nbsp;</span><span style="font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.7em;">I never learned to swim as a child. &nbsp;At the ripe old age of 30, I registered for adult swimming classes. Though I'm still a bit nervous in deep open water, in a pool or shallow beach area I enjoy my time in the water after three decades of being afraid.</span></p> <h2>9. Break It Down</h2> <p>Many times just being overwhelmed by the enormity of a task can frighten us. When I was in college, one of my roommates gave me a one-inch picture frame. It still sits on my desk today and it reminds to take things one step at a time. My ability to break a large task down into many small manageable tasks has helped me accomplish more than I ever thought possible.</p> <p>Fear is a natural human response. It's meant to keep us safe. We all have fears, but fears don't have to have us, nor stop us from living the lives we want to live.</p> <p><em>How have you conquered your biggest fears? Don't be shy &mdash; share in comments!</em></p> <br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">This article is from <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/christa-avampato">Christa Avampato</a> of <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/9-techniques-that-can-help-you-conquer-any-fear">Wise Bread</a>, an award-winning personal finance and <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/credit-cards">credit card comparison</a> website. 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