relationships http://www.wisebread.com/taxonomy/term/7620/all en-US 6 Ways It Pays to Stay Single http://www.wisebread.com/6-ways-it-pays-to-stay-single <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/6-ways-it-pays-to-stay-single" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://wisebread.killeracesmedia.netdna-cdn.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/she_is_a_sophisticated_woman.jpg" alt="She is a sophisticated woman" title="" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="250" height="140" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p>Being one half of a couple has its financial benefits. Combined incomes can offer a stronger financial outlook and create more disposable income, allowing some couples to buy homes, upgrade to bigger places, build emergency funds, and travel, among other luxuries. Likewise, married couples filing joint tax returns might receive additional tax savings compared to single filers, helping them get ahead faster.</p> <p>But couples aren't the only ones enjoying economic advantages. Singleness has its rewards, too &mdash; like eating all the cookies without judgment, and many other perks that'll make you appreciate your independence. Take a look.</p> <h2>1. Work without distractions</h2> <p>No one is suggesting you become a workaholic and sacrifice relaxation or fun for the almighty dollar, but being in a relationship consumes a good portion of your time and energy, which can limit the amount of time you're able to work.</p> <p>When you're a single person with nothing holding you back, there's more time to focus on your career. And there's the opportunity to work longer hours with your employer or freelance on the side for extra money. Your extra cash can go toward achieving financial goals such as paying off debt or building a sizable savings account. Being single also gives you the opportunity to pick up and move if you're offered a better job somewhere else. You don't have to confer with a partner or worry how the move will affect their life.</p> <h2>2. Freedom to buy what you want</h2> <p>You work, so technically you can do whatever you want with your money. But when you're one half of a twosome, consulting with your partner about purchases (especially larger ones) can deter arguments and keep you on the same page financially. If you have financial goals as a couple, your partner could discourage or veto your plans for buying an item.</p> <p>Being honest and having discussions about finances (and decisions regarding other matters) keeps the relationship strong, but relinquishing some of your freedom might be frustrating, too. As a single person, you don't have to consult anyone before spending or making decisions. If you want something and can afford it, buy it.</p> <h2>3. No stress over a partner's credit situation</h2> <p>If you're in a relationship and purchasing a house or car together, lenders often pull both of your credit scores and use the lowest of your two scores when determining the interest rate. So if you have great credit and your partner doesn't, you could end up paying more for financing.</p> <p>Single people don't have to worry or stress over another person's credit history. As long as you're paying your bills on time and maintaining low, manageable debt, you're likely a good candidate for affordable financing. (See also: <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/4-surprising-things-lenders-check-besides-your-credit-score?ref=seealso" target="_blank">4 Surprising Things Lenders Check Besides Your Credit Score</a>)</p> <h2>4. Money arguments? What money arguments?</h2> <p>Another bonus of living the single life is not having money fights with another person. Some people get into relationships with people who aren't their money match, meaning they have different mindsets with regard to budgeting, spending, and saving. One person might be a saver while the other person is a big spender, or vice versa. These differences can cause problems and lead to arguments.</p> <h2>5. Easier meal planning</h2> <p>Planning meals for two or more people is not only challenging, it's costly. You have to purchase more food and cook more often. Being single makes it easier to plan meals. Since you know how much you consume each day, you have a better idea of how much food to purchase. If you prepare a meal for you and a partner, the food may last only one night. But if you prepare the exact same meal for yourself, you could potentially have leftovers for the next one or two days, thereby by reducing your food bill over the long term and helping you to avoid eating out. (See also: <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/how-to-shop-for-food-once-a-month-and-save-big?ref=seealso" target="_blank">How to Shop for Food Once a Month and Save Big</a>)</p> <h2>6. Cheaper housing costs</h2> <p>Two people living together need more space than a single person. This often requires a bigger home, and a higher monthly payment, despite sharing expenses.</p> <p>If you're a single person committed to living cheaply, you have more options than a couple. Since it's just you, there's the flexibility of renting a room in a house with a bunch of roommates and splitting expenses two, three, or four ways (did that in my 20s; loved it!), or rooming with your folks a little longer to save money (did that in my 20s, too; didn't love it so much).</p> <p>Couples don't always have these options, which means they end up spending more on housing and having less disposable income. Get away with living cheaply while you can. It may not always be this way.</p> <br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">This article is from <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/mikey-rox">Mikey Rox</a> of <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/6-ways-it-pays-to-stay-single">Wise Bread</a>, an award-winning personal finance and <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/credit-cards">credit card comparison</a> website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:</div><div class="view view-similarterms view-id-similarterms view-display-id-block_2 view-dom-id-1"> <div class="view-content"> <div class="item-list"> <ul> <li class="views-row views-row-1 views-row-odd views-row-first"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/6-terrible-money-moves-to-avoid-on-the-first-date">6 Terrible Money Moves to Avoid on the First Date</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-2 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/if-youre-doing-this-on-your-first-date-youre-not-getting-a-second">If You&#039;re Doing This on Your First Date, You&#039;re Not Getting a Second</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-3 views-row-odd"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/how-much-should-you-actually-be-spending-on-a-date">How Much Should You Actually Be Spending on a Date?</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-4 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/mend-a-broken-heart-without-breaking-the-bank">Mend a Broken Heart Without Breaking the Bank</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-5 views-row-odd views-row-last"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/6-ways-lust-is-keeping-you-poor">6 Ways Lust Is Keeping You Poor</a></span> </div> </li> </ul> </div> </div> </div> </div><br/></br> Lifestyle breakup Dating relationships romance saving money single single life taken Fri, 16 Jun 2017 09:00:11 +0000 Mikey Rox 1965740 at http://www.wisebread.com 6 Terrible Money Moves to Avoid on the First Date http://www.wisebread.com/6-terrible-money-moves-to-avoid-on-the-first-date <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/6-terrible-money-moves-to-avoid-on-the-first-date" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://wisebread.killeracesmedia.netdna-cdn.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/woman_rejecting_a_geek_boy_in_a_blind_date.jpg" alt="Woman rejecting a geek boy in a blind date" title="" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="250" height="140" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p>Dating is tough, and first dates can be particularly awkward if you don't know anything about the other person. What you say and do can determine whether there's a second date, so it's important to present your best self. You shouldn't expect perfection, so don't stress too much about stumbling over your words or moments of silence. Chances are, these won't make or break the night. But you might shoot yourself in the foot if you make a few terrible money moves.</p> <p>Want to improve the odds of seeing this person again? Here are six money moves to avoid on the first date. (See also: <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/8-ways-to-save-on-a-first-date-without-looking-cheap?ref=seealso" target="_blank">8 Ways to Save on a First Date Without Looking Cheap</a>)</p> <h2>1. Announcing that you're splitting the check</h2> <p>If I've said it once, I've said it a million times: There's nothing wrong with going Dutch on a first date &mdash; just don't be a jerk about it. If you initiated the date, pick up the tab. Conversely, if the other person initiated the date, you can expect that they'll pick up the tab, but don't assume that's the case. Offer to pay half, and make your decision on whether you want to have a second date based on their willingness to accept your offer, or if they cover all of it.</p> <p>If the date was a mutual decision, make a good impression by offering to pay. If your date insists on paying half, there's nothing wrong with that, and nobody should get their feelings hurt about it. But don't force the issue or make your date feel uncomfortable. In fact, don't mention splitting the bill at all until they offer. It's just bad form. (See also: <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/who-should-pay-for-the-first-date?ref=seealso" target="_blank">Who Should Pay for the First Date?</a>)</p> <h2>2. Taking advantage of your date's generosity</h2> <p>If your date picks up the tab for the night, go easy on his or her pocket. There might be wiggle room in the budget for dinner, drinks, and maybe dessert, but this doesn't give you the green light to order the most expensive item on the menu or suggest costly activities that leave your date broke. Not to say you should only order a cheap salad and water, but be reasonable.</p> <h2>3. Overspending to impress your date</h2> <p>In an effort to impress your date, it's easy to go a little overboard to create a memorable night. You should have fun, but not at the expense of your bank account. Check your finances and determine how much you're able to spend for the night, and then recommend a restaurant or activities within your budget.</p> <p>You don't have to break the bank to impress the other person. If that&rsquo;s what it takes to guarantee a second date, this isn't the person for you. (See also: <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/how-much-should-you-actually-be-spending-on-a-date?ref=seealso" target="_blank">How Much Should You Actually Be Spending on a Date?</a>)</p> <h2>4. Asking personal financial questions</h2> <p>If you have a firm grip on your personal finances, you will likely seek a partner with a similar financial mindset. It's important to have financial discussions with a significant other to avoid surprises down the road. But the first date isn't the time or the place to get into all that nitty-gritty. If anything, your date might consider personal financial questions intrusive, which sets a negative tone for the night.</p> <p>Likewise, if you pry or inquire about your date's income, this person might assume you have an ulterior motive. And if you ask about their debt or credit score, they might feel you're getting too close to soon, which can scare them away.</p> <p>Give it some time. Wait until you have mutual feelings for each other. Only then should you sit down and have an honest discussion about your financial lives so you can make the best decisions for yourselves moving forward.</p> <h2>5. Bragging about your salary</h2> <p>Not only should you avoid asking your date personal questions about their financial life, avoid sharing too much information about your financial life too soon. Maybe you're proud of your job, your accomplishments, and your strong financial background. Or maybe you feel dropping salary information will amaze the other person and keep them around. But bragging can be a turn off.</p> <p>If you spend the majority of the night patting yourself on the back and revealing how much you earn and/or spend, your date could conclude that your ego is too big and run for the hills, or only stick around because of what you bring financially to the table.</p> <p>It is common and acceptable to ask about occupations on a first date, but don't get into detail about salaries.</p> <h2>6. Airing your dirty laundry</h2> <p>Bringing up negative aspects of your financial life on a first date can be just as disastrous as bragging. Remember, the idea is to make a great impression, not come off as a liability. If you mention your poor credit history, excessive credit card debt, or poor financial outlook, yet your date has a tight handle on their finances, this person could make assumptions before getting to know you and presume you're irresponsible.</p> <p>You shouldn't hide these issues, but you should get to know each other before airing your dirty laundry.</p> <br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">This article is from <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/mikey-rox">Mikey Rox</a> of <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/6-terrible-money-moves-to-avoid-on-the-first-date">Wise Bread</a>, an award-winning personal finance and <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/credit-cards">credit card comparison</a> website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:</div><div class="view view-similarterms view-id-similarterms view-display-id-block_2 view-dom-id-1"> <div class="view-content"> <div class="item-list"> <ul> <li class="views-row views-row-1 views-row-odd views-row-first"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/4-ways-millennials-are-changing-marriage">4 Ways Millennials Are Changing Marriage</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-2 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/6-ways-it-pays-to-stay-single">6 Ways It Pays to Stay Single</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-3 views-row-odd"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/6-ways-lust-is-keeping-you-poor">6 Ways Lust Is Keeping You Poor</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-4 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/18-ways-being-too-nice-is-hurting-your-wallet">18 Ways Being Too Nice Is Hurting Your Wallet</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-5 views-row-odd views-row-last"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/this-is-how-americans-spent-their-money-in-the-1950s">This Is How Americans Spent Their Money in the 1950s</a></span> </div> </li> </ul> </div> </div> </div> </div><br/></br> Budgeting Lifestyle Dating etiquette first date money conversations money moves relationships Spending Money Tue, 13 Jun 2017 09:00:08 +0000 Mikey Rox 1964080 at http://www.wisebread.com 11 Ways Freelancers and Telecommuters Can Make Friends and Network http://www.wisebread.com/11-ways-freelancers-and-telecommuters-can-make-friends-and-network <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/11-ways-freelancers-and-telecommuters-can-make-friends-and-network" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://wisebread.killeracesmedia.netdna-cdn.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/iStock-528577668.jpg" alt="Freelancers learning how to make friends and telecommute" title="" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="250" height="142" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p>Working from home can be a great thing. It allows you to work where you want, when you want, and has a number of other perks. However, it can be a bit lonely. Luckily, with the power of the Internet (and some motivation to get out and socialize), even those without an office water cooler to mill around can network and make new friends.</p> <h2>Networking Resources</h2> <p>Working off-site can take a toll on your professional network. To build your reputation, find mentors and collaborators, and connect with people in your industry, take advantage of some of the following networking resources. (See also: <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/15-simple-networking-tricks?ref=seealso" target="_blank">15 Simple Networking Tricks</a>)</p> <h3>1. LinkedIn</h3> <p>LinkedIn is one of those most common, popular ways to build and maintain professional relationships. It makes it so easy to network online with other professionals in your field. You can also use LinkedIn to find networking events and opportunities in your area, or connect you with organizations you are interested in.</p> <h3>2. Shapr</h3> <p><a href="http://www.shapr.co/" target="_blank">Shapr</a> is an app that can connect you with like-minded people, allowing you to swipe left (pass) or right (interested) on your connections. You can set your favorite ways to meet, your passions and interests, and what you're looking for (collaborators, job opportunities, inspiration, potential investments, or new friends).</p> <h3>3. Work Your Existing Connections<strong> </strong></h3> <p>Ask friends, past and current co-workers, or even your employer for recommendations on local networking events or seminars. Most cities have their own organizations that specialize in these types of events for working professionals of all kinds. If you can't find any from asking around, try a Google search, LinkedIn, or social media.</p> <h3>4. Take Classes</h3> <p>Consider taking a night class. In addition to growing your skills or teaching you something brand-new, you might befriend some fellow classmates along the way. Even online classes can connect you with new people with similar interests or background in your field.</p> <h3>5. Volunteer</h3> <p>Research some local organizations that could use a hand, and offer your time. Not only will you be contributing to a worthy cause, but you'll also be gaining experience (which looks great on a resume), expanding on your skill set, and of course, meeting new people. Volunteering allows you to become part of a community, which is a great way to expand your network.</p> <h2>Friendship Resources</h2> <p>If you don't get out much, maybe you should start! In the meantime, your smartphone or computer can also be the perfect friendly matchmaker.</p> <h3>6. Bumble BFF</h3> <p><a href="https://bumble.com/en-us/about" target="_blank">Bumble</a> was originally a dating app, but has expanded to include a &quot;Bumble BFF&quot; feature. Instead of swiping left or right on potential dates, you'll do the same for potential friends. Once you're paired with a new friend, you have only 24 hours to start a chat, so procrastinators and fair-weather friends aren't welcome.</p> <h3>7. Atleto</h3> <p>If you're looking for a workout buddy, then <a href="http://www.atletosports.com/#what" target="_blank">Atleto</a> can help you find local sports activities and fellow fitness enthusiasts. The app can connect you with friends from your existing social media accounts, or you can find new friends in your area. This is a fun way to find an accountability buddy to help you reach your fitness goal.</p> <h3>8. Friender</h3> <p><a href="https://frienderapp.com/" target="_blank">Friender</a> allows you to swipe left or right on potential connections. You'll create a profile based on personal interests and activities you enjoy, and Friender will recommend a few folks with mutual interests. This app is only for making friends, however, so you won't have to waste time with people who are looking for more.</p> <h3>9. Meetup</h3> <p><a href="https://www.meetup.com/" target="_blank">Meetup</a> is an online organization with nearly 30 million members that hosts endless gatherings and social functions. You can meet people based on your occupation, personal interests (like hiking or cooking), location, and other factors that are important to you. Join a local club, take up a brand-new hobby, or explore somewhere new, all while making new like-minded friends along the way.</p> <h3>10. Social Media<strong> </strong></h3> <p>There can be more to interacting with your Facebook friends than a simple &quot;like&quot; or the occasional comment. Reach out to those friends and old co-workers through Facebook, Twitter, and/or Instagram. Invite them out for lunch or drinks, and simply catch up. It'll feel great to get out and sit with people face to face.</p> <h3>11. Get Out More</h3> <p>Once you are no longer in school or working from an office, it can be challenging to meet new people in person. The best thing to do is visit places where connections naturally occur. Maybe find a book club through your local library, or sign up for that fitness class or 5K you've been aspiring to run. Try a local arts or cooking class, or even take your kids on a playdate where you can mingle with fellow parents. There are countless ways to meet new people if you just get out there!</p> <br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">This article is from <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/andrea-cannon">Andrea Cannon</a> of <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/11-ways-freelancers-and-telecommuters-can-make-friends-and-network">Wise Bread</a>, an award-winning personal finance and <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/credit-cards">credit card comparison</a> website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:</div><div class="view view-similarterms view-id-similarterms view-display-id-block_2 view-dom-id-1"> <div class="view-content"> <div class="item-list"> <ul> <li class="views-row views-row-1 views-row-odd views-row-first"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/8-life-skills-every-freelancer-needs">8 Life Skills Every Freelancer Needs</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-2 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/22-websites-that-will-pay-you-to-write-for-them">22 Websites That Will Pay You to Write for Them</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-3 views-row-odd"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/11-ways-a-professional-association-can-boost-your-career">11 Ways a Professional Association Can Boost Your Career</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-4 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/5-ways-to-stay-productive-while-working-from-home">5 Ways to Stay Productive While Working From Home</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-5 views-row-odd views-row-last"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/9-skills-that-will-be-obsolete-soon">9 Skills That Will Be Obsolete Soon</a></span> </div> </li> </ul> </div> </div> </div> </div><br/></br> Career Building Lifestyle apps events freelance friends networking relationships social media telecommute work from home Wed, 22 Feb 2017 10:30:36 +0000 Andrea Cannon 1896807 at http://www.wisebread.com 5 Money Conversations Every Couple Should Have http://www.wisebread.com/5-money-conversations-every-couple-should-have <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/5-money-conversations-every-couple-should-have" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://wisebread.killeracesmedia.netdna-cdn.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/iStock-497222532.jpg" alt="Couple having money conversations together" title="" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="250" height="142" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p>Did you know that the secret to a healthy relationship maybe hiding in your wallet? No, money can't buy you love, but talking about the dollars you have may make a lot of, well, sense. In a recent study, researchers discovered that <a href="http://krepublishers.com/02-Journals/JSS/JSS-46-0-000-16-Web/JSS-46-3-000-16-Abst-PDF/JSS-46-3-271-16-1655-Grobbelaar-C/JSS-46-3-271-16-1655-Grobbelaar-C-Tx%5B9%5D.pmd.pdf" target="_blank">lack of communication about money</a> leads younger couples to both arguments and added stress.</p> <p>Here are some financial discussions worth having, especially if you share the bulk of your expenses. Heck, they may even bring you closer together!</p> <h2>1. Where Is Our Money Going?</h2> <p>Have you sat down with your partner to really dig into your bank accounts lately? It may be a good idea, especially if you hope to spend many Valentine's Days together. A national survey conducted by Money Magazine revealed that 70% of couples <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/06/03/marriage-finances_n_5441012.html" target="_blank">fight about money matters</a> more than they do about chores, sex, snoring, and togetherness.</p> <p>What's high on their hot points? Frivolous spending.</p> <p>Take some time &mdash; over candlelight and wine, perhaps &mdash; to delve into your check registers and online accounts. Do you see any patterns? Were you both aware that all that money was going toward the groceries each week? Or what about those online magazine subscriptions? Unused gym memberships? You may be able to quickly spot some areas that need work before they turn into shouting matches.</p> <h2>2. How Do We Each Deal With Money?</h2> <p>Once you know what you're spending your money on, you can move on to what makes your partner tick &mdash; financially speaking. Is he a big spender? Is she a penny-pincher? Does he thrive on a cash system? Is she a <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/6-tricks-to-making-the-most-of-your-reward-miles?ref=internal" target="_blank">credit card rewards ninja</a>? Often, these habits are set in family history, internal motivations, or simple habit.</p> <p>In my marriage, I am the one who loves drafting up budgets, doing taxes, and planning for <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/5-day-debt-reduction-plan-pay-it-off?ref=internal" target="_blank">paying off debt faster</a>. My husband? He gets super stressed doing any of this stuff, even if it's just keeping track of the cable bill. We used to bicker about dividing everything &quot;fairly&quot; between us. In the end, and through many discussions, we decided that my strength with money matters made me a more natural choice for these duties.</p> <p>What we share is that we are both really bad with credit cards. So, we do cash for more of our variable expenses. The message here is to find your similarities and differences. Discover what makes one person thrive or the other person freak out. Avoid condemning certain behaviors or weak points. Instead, celebrate your differences, split up duties according to your strengths, and find common ground.</p> <h2>3. Should We Bank Together &mdash; Or Not?</h2> <p>A 2014 survey uncovered that 70% of Millennial couples <a href="http://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/td-bank-survey-finds-many-couples-maintain-separate-bank-accounts-251917121.html" target="_blank">maintain separate bank accounts</a> until marriage. Not only that, another study uncovered that <a href="http://www.forbes.com/sites/jennagoudreau/2011/01/13/is-your-partner-cheating-on-you-financially-31-admit-money-deception-infidelity-red-flags-money-lies/#35b7d3dc37bf" target="_blank">15% of partners</a> who do share accounts actually maintain a secret, uh, mistress account. If you share a lot of expenses, like the usual bills and household stuff, you may want to do a pooled account so all your money is in one handy place. But that probably also means coming clean about anything you may have been hiding.</p> <p>Some couples may actually benefit from or just enjoy the freedom of having separate accounts. And that's fine, too. Benefits here include not having to ask to spend money or having some privacy if you want to buy gifts for the other person. That said, don't financially cheat.</p> <p>If you wish to have separate accounts, be open and honest about it. If you want to pool everything into one bank account, go for that. You can also do a combination of approaches. For example, if you make $60,000 a year and your partner makes $40,000, you may keep separate accounts. You, then, may choose to pay 60% of your shared expenses while your partner pays 40%.</p> <p>The key to whatever you choose is communication, which is the cornerstone to many other aspects of your relationship.</p> <h2>4. How Can We Save for Something Big?</h2> <p>If you find money talks hard, maybe sweetening the deal a bit could help. Saving up for a mutual goal, like a vacation, can get you to join forces for good. Travel not your thing? Sit down with your partner and write out a list of five or 10 things you'd like to save for within a defined period of time, like a year, five years, etc. Bonus points if you've written down a few of the same goals.</p> <p>From there, work together to see how you can turn them from dreams into realities. This activity can be quite romantic and exciting, depending on how you define your wants. For example, my husband and I have a shared dream of creating a first-floor laundry room in the next two years. Nothing gets me more in the mood than pinning design ideas. Swoon!</p> <h2>5. What Do We Want Our Future to Look Like?</h2> <p>One of the more common savings goals is retirement. A survey conducted by Fidelity discovered that many couples <a href="https://www.fidelity.com/about-fidelity/individual-investing/fidelity-couples-study" target="_blank">nearing retirement age</a> weren't necessarily on the same page with their plans. A third of the respondents explained that they didn't know or couldn't agree on where they wanted to retire. And up to two-thirds didn't know at what age they wanted to retire.</p> <p>How you spend retirement has a lot to do with how you currently spend and save your money. So, yeah. Your retirement is definitely worth chatting about. After all, it's your future together. While you most definitely need to talk about the dollars and cents, you also need to focus on the lifestyle you want to lead in those later years.</p> <p>Consider writing out what you want your ideal retirement to look like. Maybe you'd like a second home near the grandchildren or to downsize and move abroad. You may even want to revisit this conversation regularly to make sure you're on the same page. Try updating your plan once a year. (Related: <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/7-retirement-planning-steps-late-starters-must-make?ref=seealso" target="_blank">7 Retirement Planning Steps Late Starters Must Make</a>)</p> <h2>Tips for Talking About Money</h2> <p>If you still don't think money talk is sexy, you may just be worried about how to start the conversation. And, really, it can be hard. Take a deep breath and try these tips. Your relationship and financial situation will be much more stable for your efforts. (See also: <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/5-painless-ways-to-manage-money-with-your-partner?ref=seealso" target="_blank">5 Painless Ways to Manage Money With Your Partner</a>)</p> <ul> <li>Set up a regular time to chat about money. You may want to do it every week or month, but find a schedule that works for the both of you.</li> <li>Agree that sometimes you may disagree, and that's okay. Savings goals and spending habits are unique to each individual. Just like you may not be able to change personality traits about your partner, you may also not be able to change what motivates his or her spending style.</li> <li>Employ healthy discussion techniques into your talks. Stay away from blame and shame. Instead, start your thoughts with &quot;I feel&quot; or &quot;I need&quot; to work toward mutual understanding.</li> <li>If you cannot easily make a decision on something, work together to brainstorm solutions.</li> <li>If meeting over the dinner table is too stressful, try taking your financial talk on a walk. The fresh air and exercise will do you both some good.</li> </ul> <br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">This article is from <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/ashley-marcin">Ashley Marcin</a> of <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/5-money-conversations-every-couple-should-have">Wise Bread</a>, an award-winning personal finance and <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/credit-cards">credit card comparison</a> website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:</div><div class="view view-similarterms view-id-similarterms view-display-id-block_2 view-dom-id-1"> <div class="view-content"> <div class="item-list"> <ul> <li class="views-row views-row-1 views-row-odd views-row-first"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/8-things-i-learned-about-money-after-getting-married">8 Things I Learned About Money After Getting Married</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-2 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/3-simple-ways-to-split-bills-with-your-spouse">3 Simple Ways to Split Bills With Your Spouse</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-3 views-row-odd"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/6-ways-regular-budget-meetings-might-save-your-marriage">6 Ways Regular Budget Meetings Might Save Your Marriage</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-4 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/why-couples-fight-over-money-and-what-to-do-about-it">Why Couples Fight Over Money and What to Do About It</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-5 views-row-odd views-row-last"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/7-reasons-you-are-more-than-your-credit-score">7 Reasons You Are More Than Your Credit Score</a></span> </div> </li> </ul> </div> </div> </div> </div><br/></br> Personal Finance Lifestyle couples discussions honesty marriage meetings money talks relationships Tue, 14 Feb 2017 11:00:09 +0000 Ashley Marcin 1889317 at http://www.wisebread.com 6 Ways Lust Is Keeping You Poor http://www.wisebread.com/6-ways-lust-is-keeping-you-poor <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/6-ways-lust-is-keeping-you-poor" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://wisebread.killeracesmedia.netdna-cdn.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/iStock-471099734.jpg" alt="" title="" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="250" height="142" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p>When you hear the word lust, your mind naturally wanders to sexual desire. But lust goes way beyond that. At the heart of lust is an intense longing for something, be it sex, money, power, possessions, knowledge, war, experience, or as the song goes, life. Sometimes that intense longing is a great motivator, and can drive you to do great things. However, it can also be the root of some serious money problems. Here are seven such examples. How many do you recognize?</p> <h2>1. It Drives You to Buy More Than You Need</h2> <p>An insatiable lust to have the latest, greatest gadgets, clothing, shoes, and other possessions, can leave you in serious financial trouble. For some people, it's not enough to have a good phone. It needs to be the newest model, even if that means replacing a model that's barely six months old.</p> <p>Other people get a rush, and a release of endorphins, when buying new products. They feel a sense of great joy, a thrill, when they purchase items like jewelry, watches, cars, and purses. That thrill, much like the pleasure felt when drinking alcohol or smoking a cigarette, can become addictive. You want to replicate it, and have to keep doing so over and over again. TV shows like <em>Hoarding: Buried Alive</em> have featured people that have rooms filled with clothing, shoes, coats, gadgets, and jewelry that have not only never been used&hellip; they were not even taken out of the shopping bags.</p> <h2>2. It Can Lead to Destructive Addictions</h2> <p>At a base level, lust for sex and sexual imagery has become an increasingly dangerous problem in the U.S., and around the world. Easy, instant access to X-rated materials on the Internet has led to thousands of cases of addiction to this highly stimulating resource. And while it is free on some levels, it can become expensive, especially with monthly subscription fees and webcam model charges. What's worse is that this addiction can spill over into other avenues of life. People become so obsessed that they look up materials at work, leading to disciplinary action and job losses. Relationships suffer, and the abuse of alcohol, marijuana, and even food, leads the addict into a spiraling cycle of defeat and depression.</p> <h2>3. It Can Severely Cloud Your Judgment</h2> <p>When engulfed by lust, your brain is not thinking clearly. And again, this is not just about sexual desire. A prime example of this can be found at any auction, when several people want the same item, and a bidding war breaks out. People who are normally of very sound mind, and who set a price they would not go over before the auction, lose their common sense. They want it. They have to have it. They will go over their limit by hundreds, or even thousands of dollars. Some have described the experience as being in a euphoric fog, which clears and makes way for shame and regret once the furor has died down. You may have experienced something like this yourself, especially if you've done a little gambling in Las Vegas. Lust for money, sex, and power can all lead to some very muddy thinking.</p> <h2>4. It Consumes Your Valuable Time</h2> <p>Lust is one of the <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/topic/seven-deadly-sins?ref=internal" target="_blank">seven deadly sins</a> that can utterly consume your every waking moment. When you are gripped by lust, nothing else matters. Indeed, the very definition of lust contains words like &quot;uncontrollable desire&quot; and &quot;inordinate cravings,&quot; neither of which can be viewed as positive. People under the spell of lust will find themselves constantly performing actions that keep them highly focused on the object of their intense affections, be it a person, a possession, or a promotion. Nothing else matters. Your life, and your existence, bows down to this one overwhelming drive, and you can find it very easy to block out all other aspects of life. Bills don't get paid. Loved ones go ignored. Your performance at work suffers. Your time is being eaten up by one thing, and that can only lead to a loss&hellip; in more ways than one.</p> <h2>5. It Makes You Do Things That Are Out of Character</h2> <p>Someone obsessed by a deep desire for something will start to make decisions that are surprising, or even shocking to friends and family. You have no doubt witnessed it yourself. Perhaps a good friend became infatuated with someone at work, and started to do things that were way out of character; for instance, spending more money on items and pastimes that they would never have done a few months earlier. This is lust at its darkest and most dangerous. When you really want something; when nothing else matters; when the pursuit and possession of something is your only goal; that's when you can momentarily lose yourself and in the process, lose friends, money, opportunities &mdash; even your job.</p> <h2>6. It Can Literally Destroy Your Life</h2> <p>That may sound dramatic, but it's a sad fact. Every year, thousands of people around the world find their lives in ruins due to the domino effect of lust. For some people, they get embroiled in the highly addictive world of adult websites, forking over monthly fees and exposing their credit cards to some very sketchy businesses. Identity theft is common when the victim is engaging in an activity they would rather not let other people find out about. It can be embarrassing to report, and even harder to pursue a claim. Other people lust after things they just cannot have, and get into debt, gamble, take out payday loans, and find themselves in a world of financial hurt. And then there are those who lose friends and family, which can lead to substance abuse and other forms of hardship. At the end of the day, lust is dangerous because it controls you, way more than any other sin. If you don't spot the warning signs early enough, you could find yourself in serious trouble.</p> <br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">This article is from <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/paul-michael">Paul Michael</a> of <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/6-ways-lust-is-keeping-you-poor">Wise Bread</a>, an award-winning personal finance and <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/credit-cards">credit card comparison</a> website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:</div><div class="view view-similarterms view-id-similarterms view-display-id-block_2 view-dom-id-1"> <div class="view-content"> <div class="item-list"> <ul> <li class="views-row views-row-1 views-row-odd views-row-first"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/flashback-friday-42-ways-the-7-deadly-sins-are-keeping-you-poor">Flashback Friday: 42 Ways the 7 Deadly Sins Are Keeping You Poor</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-2 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/6-ways-it-pays-to-stay-single">6 Ways It Pays to Stay Single</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-3 views-row-odd"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/6-terrible-money-moves-to-avoid-on-the-first-date">6 Terrible Money Moves to Avoid on the First Date</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-4 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/how-much-should-you-actually-be-spending-on-a-date">How Much Should You Actually Be Spending on a Date?</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-5 views-row-odd views-row-last"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/6-ways-sloth-is-keeping-you-poor">6 Ways Sloth Is Keeping You Poor</a></span> </div> </li> </ul> </div> </div> </div> </div><br/></br> Lifestyle Shopping Dating keeping you poor love lust relationships seven deadly sins sins Valentine's Day Tue, 14 Feb 2017 10:01:04 +0000 Paul Michael 1889314 at http://www.wisebread.com How Much Personal Finance Info Should You Share? http://www.wisebread.com/how-much-personal-finance-info-should-you-share <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/how-much-personal-finance-info-should-you-share" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://wisebread.killeracesmedia.netdna-cdn.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/woman_shocked_face_71844019.jpg" alt="Woman learning how much personal finance info she should share" title="" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="250" height="140" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p>Money is one of those topics that is not often discussed freely. In fact, it is common for people to disguise how much money they really have.</p> <p>But then there are a few people who are happy to say exactly how much money they make without holding anything back. Some people even post their income and net worth updates on the Internet every month! Is there a benefit to freely sharing personal finance information?</p> <h2>What Can Go Wrong When Sharing Too Much About Your Finances</h2> <p>There are some good reasons people tend to avoid disclosing details when talking about money. Much like the usual sensitive topics of religion and politics, open conversations about money can result in friction and even damaged relationships. If you reveal how much money &mdash; or debt &mdash; you really have, you can make people uncomfortable or even lose friends.</p> <p>People have a strong sense of fairness about money, and sharing financial details can highlight inequity and cause hard feelings: &quot;Why does that person make more than me when I work harder?&quot; Sensitivity about salary fairness is accentuated among people who work for the same employer.</p> <p>When you reveal your financial details, you may unintentionally hurt someone's feelings and sense of self-worth. Let's say that in a moment of truthfulness, you decide to reveal how much you make to a close friend. Imagine how disappointed your friend would feel if he/she makes a lot less than you. On the other hand, imagine your dismay if your friend surprises you by revealing that she makes a lot more than you. Discussing your income can spark feelings of dissatisfaction that can last for a long time.</p> <p>Money can divide people into &quot;us&quot; versus &quot;them.&quot; The Occupy Wall Street movement with dividing lines drawn at the 99% versus the 1% is a dramatic example of this. It can be hard to relate to someone if you think they are in a different economic situation and that they do not face the same problems and issues that you are dealing with. Imagine if you suddenly learned your friend who you see as a peer makes twice as much income as you. This may impact your relationship since you know your friend has options and financial resources that are not available to you. Your friendships may be stronger if you do not know how much your money your friends make.</p> <p>If you reveal that you have a lot of debt and/or little savings, others may think that you are not competent with money and may assume that you are not competent at other things as well. Some people feel that borrowing money to buy things you don't really need is irresponsible, especially when they are forgoing such purchases in order to pay down debt and achieve financial independence. Discussing money freely may bring up differences in philosophy about saving and spending that can make it harder for people to relate to each other.</p> <p>Once you reveal personal finance details, it is impossible to put the toothpaste back in the tube. Once your secret is out, your financial privacy has been lost and there is no way to get it back.</p> <h2>Why Do Some People Reveal Everything?</h2> <p>Even with all of the downsides to revealing financial details, some people are eager to share full details of their personal finances. Why?</p> <p>Some people use &quot;full financial disclosure&quot; as a way to keep themselves accountable and motivated to improve their financial situation. If I had to publish my income and net worth every month, I can see how this would make me focus on getting the numbers to look as good as possible. Plus, I wouldn't want to have to explain any embarrassing purchases or debt. Publishing financial information to help stay on track is sort of like participating a weight loss program where you share a list of everything you eat with your group. You are less likely to slip up if you know you will have to share your setbacks with the world.</p> <p>Some people share their financial details to get attention &mdash; and money. Personal finance bloggers know that sharing their income and financial details publicly can generate traffic to their blog. People are curious to see how much money other people make and how they spend it. I find it fascinating to look at other people's expenses so I can look for areas where I could improve my own budget. Some personal finance blogs are set up with a stated monetary goal and readers can track the blogger's progress toward the goal over time. Sharing intimate financial details on a blog helps build a following which generates income from advertising.</p> <p>Another benefit of full disclosure is that you don't have to worry about keeping secrets. You can speak freely about money without worrying about something slipping out. If you reveal your financial details to others, they are more likely to share their details with you. You might learn lessons from their experience that you can use to improve your own finances.</p> <h2>How Much Should You Share?</h2> <p>How much personal finance information should you share? The right answer for you depends on your comfort level with your financial situation and what you hope to accomplish by sharing. I see little benefit to sharing my personal finance information and lots of potential drawbacks. I could always change my mind and decide to share later, but for now I am keeping my personal finances personal.</p> <p>One of the biggest problems with sharing personal finance details is that once you share, your information is out and there is no way to get it back. You won't be able to get people to forget that number if you change your mind later and regret sharing it.</p> <p>In the end, your finances matter much more to you and your family than to anyone else. Others may be curious, but your money situation doesn't directly impact anyone outside your family very much. Most people have more to lose than to gain by freely sharing their financial details.</p> <br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">This article is from <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/dr-penny-pincher">Dr Penny Pincher</a> of <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/how-much-personal-finance-info-should-you-share">Wise Bread</a>, an award-winning personal finance and <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/credit-cards">credit card comparison</a> website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:</div><div class="view view-similarterms view-id-similarterms view-display-id-block_2 view-dom-id-1"> <div class="view-content"> <div class="item-list"> <ul> <li class="views-row views-row-1 views-row-odd views-row-first"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/is-six-figures-really-that-much">Is Six Figures Really That Much?</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-2 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/does-your-net-worth-even-matter">Does Your Net Worth Even Matter?</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-3 views-row-odd"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/7-reasons-you-are-more-than-your-credit-score">7 Reasons You Are More Than Your Credit Score</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-4 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/5-money-conversations-every-couple-should-have">5 Money Conversations Every Couple Should Have</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-5 views-row-odd views-row-last"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/frugality-makes-the-heart-grow-fonder-5-ways-to-spend-less-and-love-more">Frugality Makes the Heart Grow Fonder: 5 Ways to Spend Less and Love More</a></span> </div> </li> </ul> </div> </div> </div> </div><br/></br> Personal Finance Lifestyle debts friendships income information oversharing privacy relationships Tue, 27 Sep 2016 09:00:07 +0000 Dr Penny Pincher 1800653 at http://www.wisebread.com How to Put Your Spouse on a Budget Without Ruining Your Marriage http://www.wisebread.com/how-to-put-your-spouse-on-a-budget-without-ruining-your-marriage <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/how-to-put-your-spouse-on-a-budget-without-ruining-your-marriage" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://wisebread.killeracesmedia.netdna-cdn.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/husband_wife_high_five_91622835.jpg" alt="Woman putting her spouse on a budget without ruining marriage" title="" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="250" height="140" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p>The quickest way to sour a marriage is to nag your spouse about money and try to control every cent they spend. However, keeping mum about your finances can lead you and your spouse into a lot of debt or overall poor finances. Here are ways to get your spouse on a budget, without ruining your marriage.</p> <h2>Counseling Is Okay!</h2> <p>Many couples make the mistake in thinking that marriage counseling is only for marriages that are in trouble. However, counseling can be a helpful tool even when your marriage is healthy. Having a mediator help you navigate financial woes can even be desirable, so that both you and your spouse feel like they are heard.</p> <p>To seek out counseling for your finances within marriage, you can talk with a financial adviser that has your best interest in mind, a marriage and family therapist, a pastor, or even an older couple who you consider wise and financially stable. It might seem embarrassing to reach out for help, but it could be the wisest step to keeping your marriage and finances strong.</p> <h2>Set Up Budget Dates</h2> <p>Just as you would set up regular date nights, set up monthly budget dates. Treat your spouse to their favorite coffee drink and discuss the numbers for the month, as well as goals for the next month.</p> <p>Budget dates should not be a time where you point the finger. It should be a time for mutual discussion and growth. Depending on which financial area your spouse is in charge of, ask for their feedback. For example, if your spouse does the grocery shopping, did they feel like they had enough money that month or was it too tight? If your spouse is requesting more money for the grocery budget, you can decide together what to cut to accommodate.</p> <p>Sometimes it is a good idea to invite your children to these meetings, especially if they are older than 10. Kids need to see the &quot;why&quot; behind the reasons they can't go to camp all summer long or get everything they want. Also, allowing your kids see and experience how you budget successfully only sets them up for budgeting success later on.</p> <p>See also: <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/8-things-i-learned-about-money-after-getting-married?ref=seealso">8 Things I Learned About Money After Getting Married</a></p> <h2>Find What Inspires Them</h2> <p>Sometimes it can be hard to scrimp and sacrifice just for the sake of saving money. We all need a purpose to have the motivation to work at something. Whether it's for the dream vacation or just finally being able to live debt-free, find the goals that both of you want to achieve and set the budget that will make it happen. Show that if you both tighten up your spending and stay the course, the reward will be waiting at the finish line.</p> <h2>Keep Things Fun</h2> <p>Find ways to lighten things up and make staying on budget fun, so it doesn't get tedious or simply boring. You don't have to wait until you've saved enough for the dream vacation to enjoy a reward for your hard work. Add milestones along the way that allow the two of you to celebrate. Turn it into a game to see who can find the best deals or other challenges that keep both of you interested. Don't forget about creative ways to make extra money, too. Perhaps you two can do something together that will earn extra cash.</p> <h2>Practical Tips to Get Your Spouse on a Budget</h2> <p>So far, the marriage budgeting tips have been about the mentality behind savings. Once you get your spouse on board with your budget, then use these practical tips to stay successful.</p> <ul> <li>Budget for you and your spouse to have &quot;mad money&quot; each month. This can be $25 or $500, depending on your budget. However, this money can be spent however your spouse wants. This allows both of you to spend on yourselves without guilt.<br /> &nbsp;</li> <li>Use an easy-to-use budgeting app that connects to your accounts and syncs with each of your phones. Encourage your spouse to look at it and track spending daily.<br /> &nbsp;</li> <li>Have savings taken out automatically. If you wait until the end of the month to put money into savings, you might find you end up short each month. Make savings a priority or take advantage of debit cards that round up purchases and deposit the extra into your savings account.<br /> &nbsp;</li> <li>Stop using credit cards if they are too hard to control. Taking them away for a few months can help you get back on track.</li> </ul> <h2>Separate Accounts</h2> <p>Separate accounts can be useful for managing expenses and ensuring there's no opportunity to overdraw for a budget. If you split the financial responsibilities of a household, it makes sense to manage your own accounts for your assigned budgets. Just make sure there's accountability and transparency.</p> <p>Marriage is hard, and budgeting is just as difficult. Put them both together, and you could have a recipe for disaster. It's important to be open and honest so that you don't end up in a financial disaster.</p> <p><em>How do you and your spouse stay on a budget?</em></p> <br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">This article is from <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/ashley-eneriz">Ashley Eneriz</a> of <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/how-to-put-your-spouse-on-a-budget-without-ruining-your-marriage">Wise Bread</a>, an award-winning personal finance and <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/credit-cards">credit card comparison</a> website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:</div><div class="view view-similarterms view-id-similarterms view-display-id-block_2 view-dom-id-2"> <div class="view-content"> <div class="item-list"> <ul> <li class="views-row views-row-1 views-row-odd views-row-first"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/5-money-moves-to-make-the-moment-you-decide-to-get-married">5 Money Moves to Make the Moment You Decide to Get Married</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-2 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/8-things-i-learned-about-money-after-getting-married">8 Things I Learned About Money After Getting Married</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-3 views-row-odd"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/6-ways-regular-budget-meetings-might-save-your-marriage">6 Ways Regular Budget Meetings Might Save Your Marriage</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-4 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/how-to-navigate-3-common-money-arguments-with-your-significant-other">How to Navigate 3 Common Money Arguments With Your Significant Other</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-5 views-row-odd views-row-last"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/6-reasons-average-people-should-consider-a-prenup">6 Reasons Average People Should Consider a Prenup</a></span> </div> </li> </ul> </div> </div> </div> </div><br/></br> Personal Finance Budgeting Family agreements bank accounts compromise counseling marriage paying bills relationships spending spouse teamwork Tue, 09 Aug 2016 09:00:09 +0000 Ashley Eneriz 1767118 at http://www.wisebread.com 7 Reasons You Are More Than Your Credit Score http://www.wisebread.com/7-reasons-you-are-more-than-your-credit-score <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/7-reasons-you-are-more-than-your-credit-score" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://wisebread.killeracesmedia.netdna-cdn.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/post_it_smiley_88426573.jpg" alt="Learning reasons you&#039;re more than your credit score" title="" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="250" height="140" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p>If you read Wise Bread frequently, you'll know that we place a lot of emphasis on obtaining a <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/what-is-a-good-credit-score-range" target="_blank">good credit score</a> and building net worth. There's no question that we want people to follow a path that takes them to financial security. But it's important to understand that while money and good credit can help you lead the life you want, it doesn't define you as a person or even guarantee happiness.</p> <p>It's often the case that we get so wrapped up in making and saving money that we lose sight of how little we need to actually be content. And we beat ourselves up for being poor, having bad credit, or being in debt.</p> <p>Here's a look at all of the ways your net worth and credit score don't define you.</p> <h2>1. You're Investing in Your Future</h2> <p>You may have some debt and a low net worth right now. But that's because you're taking steps to improve your situation. Maybe you're in college and have taken out some loans to pay for it. Perhaps you took out a loan to start your own company. Maybe you took on some debt to move to a new community so you could accept a good job. You are making steps to build a good life for yourself, and they will pay off in the long run. Don't worry about what the numbers say about you now.</p> <h2>2. You're Frugal, and Proud of It</h2> <p>You've decided against using credit cards because you want to avoid the possibility of high-interest debt. You've chosen to live with your parents for a while to save money on rent. You've never even asked for a loan. All of these things may mean you have a low credit score because you haven't established much of a credit history. But don't fret. You're still being financially sensible and taking steps to save money and avoid the debt spiral. A credit bureau may give you a low score, but you're getting top marks for being smart with your money.</p> <h2>3. You're Rich in Other Ways</h2> <p>You have many great friends. You have your family. Your faith. Good health. You're pretty good at playing the guitar and you make very tasty French toast. These are the things that define you and make your life what it is. Your credit score doesn't know you, and neither does your bank account.</p> <h2>4. You Are Happy</h2> <p>We're all aware of the adage that money can't buy happiness. And have you ever met anyone who said, &quot;I'm so content with my life because my credit score is 820?&quot; Your happiness is based on how you live your life, the quality of your relationships, and what you do to find fulfillment. We've all met wealthy people who are downright miserable, and poor people who live life with a smile on their face.</p> <h2>5. Numbers Are Relative</h2> <p>So maybe your credit score is considered poor. And maybe your net worth places you close to the poverty line. But are you better off than you were six months ago? Or a year ago? If so, then be happy that you're making progress. Credit scores and net worth are only numbers, and numbers should not be analyzed in a vacuum. A person who emerged from extreme poverty is going to be happy to have any credit score at all. Someone who spent years working to pay off massive debts will be thrilled to have positive net worth after being in negative territory for years.</p> <h2>6. You're Fine With Living Small</h2> <p>You can be content living in a modest home with few possessions. In fact, the Tiny House Movement underscores that there is a segment of the population that is eager to reduce its overall living footprint due to lower costs, lower impact on the environment, and a basic lifestyle. If you're happy downsizing and living simply, then don't worry about what your credit score and net worth say.</p> <h2>7. No One Else Cares</h2> <p>Think of your closest friends. How often do you ask about their credit score or their net worth? Do you judge them based on the balances in their bank accounts or their stock holdings? One would hope not. Likewise, your closest friends and relatives couldn't care less what your numbers say about you. Your relationships are based not on credit scores, but real bonds that have nothing to do with money.</p> <p><em>How do you value yourself?</em></p> <br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">This article is from <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/tim-lemke">Tim Lemke</a> of <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/7-reasons-you-are-more-than-your-credit-score">Wise Bread</a>, an award-winning personal finance and <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/credit-cards">credit card comparison</a> website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:</div><div class="view view-similarterms view-id-similarterms view-display-id-block_2 view-dom-id-1"> <div class="view-content"> <div class="item-list"> <ul> <li class="views-row views-row-1 views-row-odd views-row-first"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/8-things-i-learned-about-money-after-getting-married">8 Things I Learned About Money After Getting Married</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-2 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/5-money-truths-that-arent-always-obvious">5 Money Truths That Aren&#039;t Always Obvious</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-3 views-row-odd"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/5-money-moves-to-make-before-moving-out-on-your-own">5 Money Moves to Make Before Moving Out on Your Own</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-4 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/5-moves-to-make-if-your-loan-gets-denied">5 Moves to Make If Your Loan Gets Denied</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-5 views-row-odd views-row-last"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/need-to-lose-some-weight-put-some-money-on-it">Need To Lose Some Weight? Put Some Money On It!</a></span> </div> </li> </ul> </div> </div> </div> </div><br/></br> Personal Finance Lifestyle credit score debt happiness Living net worth relationships reminder struggling Thu, 04 Aug 2016 10:30:09 +0000 Tim Lemke 1765529 at http://www.wisebread.com Can Saying Thanks More Make You Rich? http://www.wisebread.com/can-saying-thanks-more-make-you-rich <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/can-saying-thanks-more-make-you-rich" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://wisebread.killeracesmedia.netdna-cdn.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/thank_you_note_000058962422.jpg" alt="Learning how saying thanks can make you rich" title="" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="250" height="140" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p>If you're even a little bit cynical, you might be expecting a resounding, one-word answer to this question. I mean, since when did being nice ever get you rich?</p> <p>But there is good news out there for those of us who still like to see the nice guy win once in-awhile. In fact, gratitude has a number of direct impacts on financial well being.</p> <h2>Gratitude Makes You Happy</h2> <p>Gratitude has been shown to <a href="https://www.uthealthleader.org/story/grateful-ology">make people happier</a> &mdash; and happiness is known to have a positive impact on earnings.</p> <p>In research, groups were asked to keep journals over an extended period, either simply writing down neutrally what had happened to them, or trying to find the positives to be grateful for. At the end of the study, the gratitude group were 25% happier than the neutral group, and reported fewer physical illnesses over the period.</p> <p>A different study links <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/9-ways-money-does-buy-happiness" target="_blank">happiness and earnings</a>, with research which shows that adolescents who report higher levels of happiness go on to <a href="http://www.pnas.org/content/109/49/19953.abstract">earn more as adults</a>. There are probably a wide range of reasons for this &mdash; happier people take fewer sick days, build more positive relationships, and are able to focus more on the things that matter to them.</p> <h2>Gratitude Stops Spending</h2> <p>If excessive consumption is your downfall, then try practicing a little gratitude to get back on track.</p> <p>Instead of lusting after another gadget or handbag, make a conscious effort to appreciate what you have &mdash; not only will you rediscover old pleasures, it will most likely slow your urge to spend.</p> <p>Often the desire to shop comes about because of something known as <em>hedonic adaptation</em>, or the hedonic treadmill. This is the tendency humans have to slip back to an average level of satisfaction very shortly after large improvements or positive life events. So even though you get a massive pay raise, the enjoyment is short-lived, and you soon come to expect the extra salary. Similarly, the new phone you were yearning for is only truly impressive for a few weeks before you forget the novelty and start to think about your next purchase.</p> <p>Gratitude can help overcome this tendency because it slows down the pace at which we get complacent about what we have &mdash; and by cutting out the excesses of spending, our financial wellness gets an immediate boost.</p> <h2>Gratitude Promotes Great Relationships</h2> <p>Relationships flourish with gratitude, and relationships are how business happens. So exercising a bit of gratitude can be a boon to your personal and professional relationships alike, making you happier and wealthier at the same time.</p> <p>This dynamic in professional environments has already received much scientific and psychological attention. Studies dating back decades have shown that customers come back and tip more if they are thanked for their generosity. In one wonderful example (which I really wish I had come up with myself), restaurant servers handed over the check to diners &mdash; either blank, or with a handwritten note saying thank you, including a smiley face. This research showed that those who had written &quot;thank you&quot; on their checks <a href="http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1559-1816.1996.tb01847.x/abstract">received higher tips</a>.</p> <p>Because gratitude forges an immediate personal connection, it's a great way of opening the door to a developing relationship. In a work environment, that might be as simple as getting an extra few dollars tip, or it could be the start of something beautiful. You never know.</p> <h2>Gratitude Keeps You Healthy</h2> <p>Science shows you can cut down your medical bills by saying thanks. Seriously.</p> <p>Don't take my word for it. Professor Robert A. Emmons is the author of a report on the <a href="http://www.ucdmc.ucdavis.edu/welcome/features/2015-2016/11/20151125_gratitude.html">impact of gratitude on health</a>. He says gratitude &quot;can lower blood pressure, improve immune function, and facilitate more efficient sleep. Gratitude reduces lifetime risk for depression, anxiety, and substance abuse disorders, and is a key resiliency factor in the prevention of suicide.&quot;</p> <p>Not only all that, but those who are grateful also report having a stronger social network that can support them when they need help, as well as improving blood pressure, cholesterol and heart health.</p> <p>Gratitude's impact on financial wellness is based on elements of scientific and psychological fact. It may sound far fetched at first, but saying thank you to others, and remembering to be grateful for what you have &mdash; rather than yearning for more &mdash; could really be the secret to unlocking greater emotional and financial well being.</p> <p><em>What do you think? Crazy theories or common sense? How do you practice gratitude in everyday life?</em></p> <br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">This article is from <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/claire-millard">Claire Millard</a> of <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/can-saying-thanks-more-make-you-rich">Wise Bread</a>, an award-winning personal finance and <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/credit-cards">credit card comparison</a> website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:</div><div class="view view-similarterms view-id-similarterms view-display-id-block_2 view-dom-id-1"> <div class="view-content"> <div class="item-list"> <ul> <li class="views-row views-row-1 views-row-odd views-row-first"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/7-reasons-you-are-more-than-your-credit-score">7 Reasons You Are More Than Your Credit Score</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-2 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/7-ways-millennials-are-better-with-money-than-you-are">7 Ways Millennials Are Better With Money Than You Are</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-3 views-row-odd"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/could-a-divorce-improve-your-finances">Could a Divorce Improve Your Finances?</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-4 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/8-financial-wake-up-calls-and-how-to-deal-with-them">8 Financial Wake Up Calls — And How to Deal With Them</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-5 views-row-odd views-row-last"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/5-money-conversations-every-couple-should-have">5 Money Conversations Every Couple Should Have</a></span> </div> </li> </ul> </div> </div> </div> </div><br/></br> Personal Finance appreciation gratitude happiness healthy higher salary mindset relationships spending habits Thu, 26 May 2016 09:30:18 +0000 Claire Millard 1717156 at http://www.wisebread.com 8 Things I Learned About Money After Getting Married http://www.wisebread.com/8-things-i-learned-about-money-after-getting-married <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/8-things-i-learned-about-money-after-getting-married" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://wisebread.killeracesmedia.netdna-cdn.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/married_couple_game_000017059049.jpg" alt="Learning things about money after getting married" title="" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="250" height="140" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p>Marriage comes with its fair share of life lessons, and money is among the most prominent of these. Here's what I've <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/9-ways-getting-married-is-good-for-your-finances" target="_blank">learned about money while being married</a> &mdash; for better and worse.</p> <h2>1. Credit Scores and Debt Should Be Laid Bare While You're Still Dating</h2> <p>Money is a taboo subject, in general, and couples &mdash; especially new ones who are still navigating the muddy waters of a blossoming relationship &mdash; don't like to talk about the financial predicaments they may be in. But these conversations are necessary.</p> <p>My husband and I were sort of forced into the conversation as we bought our first home before we got married, but even if that's not on the horizon for you and your partner, it's still good to assess the <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/7-ways-to-increase-your-credit-score-quickly" target="_blank">credit score and debt</a> situation so you both know what you're dealing with. That's not to say that you should dump somebody because their financial standing isn't as great as you might have hoped it would be, but it's certainly a factor to consider as you plan your life together.</p> <h2>2. Discuss Future Financial and Investment Goals Before Saying &quot;I Do&quot;</h2> <p>Before I got married I had plans for my future, but those plans changed (at least a little) when I decided to get hitched. I adapted my strategy to accommodate my husband &mdash; but I didn't derail it altogether, and I don't recommend that you do either. It's about compromise &mdash; it's beneficial to discuss your specific plans and goals ahead of your nuptials. Your partner may not want to open that new business, or carry the potential financial burden that comes along with it. On the other hand, your spouse may be totally on board with how you've mapped out your financial future and/or investments, and vice-versa. But you won't know until you discuss it.</p> <p>Lay it all out on the table before getting anywhere near the altar so you each have a clear idea of where your relationship is headed financially (in theory, at least) once you're joined in holy &mdash; and legally binding &mdash; matrimony.</p> <h2>3. Schedule Uninterrupted Time to Discuss Your Finances in Depth</h2> <p>The only way my husband and I stay on the same page about our finances &mdash; and, specifically, the money that's coming in and going out on a constant basis &mdash; is to schedule time to discuss where we're at financially. We usually have a dinner date once a month where at least part of the conversation is about our budget, expenses, debt, and increases or decreases in expected income.</p> <p>We also have an annual meeting at the end of the year to discuss what we anticipate the next year's expenses to be, and how we plan to meet them. While it's not easy integrating another person into the mix financially &mdash; and it can sometimes be stressful for you if you've overspent or missed a bill and you don't want it to result in an argument &mdash; it's needed so that you can both stay on track and repair snags together.</p> <h2>4. Keep Your Family Out of Your Finances &mdash; Period</h2> <p>In a perfect world, we'd all be rich and nobody would want for anything. That's not the case, however, and sometimes family and friends come knocking for a loan. My general rule is to not provide this type of financial support to anyone, as it rarely turns out well &mdash; and most people will tell you that. My husband, on the other hand, views this subject differently, and there's been at least one time where there was zero discussion about providing the loan to a family member, and I didn't find out about it until after the fact.</p> <p>I wasn't particularly bothered by the amount of the loan or to whom it went &mdash; it was his money and he could do what he wanted with it &mdash; but rather that I wasn't included in the conversation. Even though I wasn't contributing to this particular loan, it could have affected our ability to purchase or finance something we needed down the road, and I felt as if I had the right to be informed.</p> <h2>5. You're Morally and Legally Obligated to Help One Another Financially</h2> <p>Whether you like it or not, whatever happens to your spouse financially also, in a sense, happens to you. This could mean a moral obligation to get out of whatever money pickle you may have gotten into, or, worst-case scenario, it could be a legal obligation, like if you file joint taxes and owe the government money. The IRS debt may be the result of one or the other's financial status &mdash; like if you have taxes taken out automatically each pay period from employment, but your spouse is an entrepreneur (like I am) who pays estimated taxes &mdash; but legally you're both on the hook for the debt. Not being prepared for this situation, or how to handle it responsibly and fairly, can lead to resentment and loads of other issues that you're better off without.</p> <h2>6. Keeping Separate Accounts Can Help Maintain Some Independence</h2> <p>My husband and I keep a joint account for shared purchases, like vacations, but we've also always maintained our own separate checking and savings accounts. For some couples this may seem odd, but for us it's helped us keep a part of our individual independence intact. While we consult each other on major purchases, we don't have to ask one another if we can buy some of the smaller things or little luxuries that we want, which in turn helps us to avoid nitpicking each other about things we don't think the other one should be buying.</p> <p>I can only imagine how couples who co-mingle all their money argue about how many coffees or beers each is buying per week, the 19th pair of new shoes she's bought this year, or the new video game he brought home. The bottom line for us is that the bills get paid and we're still able to save; we're allowed to treat ourselves every now and then without having to ask permission or fear retribution.</p> <h2>7. Debt Can Destroy Your Relationship &mdash; If You Let It</h2> <p>A few years ago I discovered a substantial amount of debt that my husband racked up, and I was completely gutted over the situation. How, why, when, where? So many questions went through my mind, not the least of which was, how are we going to pay this off? I was lucky in that regard as my husband took full responsibility for it and promised to pay it off himself &mdash; and he has. But it may not work out like that for everyone.</p> <p>If your partner isn't capable of paying off the debt, you, in fact, may be responsible for it too if it's attached to a joint credit card or another joint account. When that happens, it will likely put a major strain on your relationship. Old debt is one thing, but new debt &mdash; that is, debt acquired singularly by one partner while you're in the relationship &mdash; has a much more damaging and lasting effect. We were able to get past this and get back on track, but it's not easy. It definitely puts stress on the marriage, which can further worsen an already rocky relationship.</p> <h2>8. Money Doesn't Buy Happiness</h2> <p>All the houses, nice cars, designer clothes, and luxury goods in the world will not make you happy in a relationship you don't want to be in. When you're sitting among all your beautiful things and you wonder why you seemingly have everything but still aren't satisfied, you need to look beyond the bling. There's a deeper issue for which you're trying to compensate. Talk about it; make decisions. Your mental health is worth more than what's in your bank account &mdash; always. Remember that.</p> <p><em>What has marriage taught you about money?</em></p> <br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">This article is from <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/mikey-rox">Mikey Rox</a> of <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/8-things-i-learned-about-money-after-getting-married">Wise Bread</a>, an award-winning personal finance and <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/credit-cards">credit card comparison</a> website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:</div><div class="view view-similarterms view-id-similarterms view-display-id-block_2 view-dom-id-1"> <div class="view-content"> <div class="item-list"> <ul> <li class="views-row views-row-1 views-row-odd views-row-first"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/6-reasons-average-people-should-consider-a-prenup">6 Reasons Average People Should Consider a Prenup</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-2 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/3-simple-ways-to-split-bills-with-your-spouse">3 Simple Ways to Split Bills With Your Spouse</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-3 views-row-odd"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/5-money-conversations-every-couple-should-have">5 Money Conversations Every Couple Should Have</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-4 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/how-to-put-your-spouse-on-a-budget-without-ruining-your-marriage">How to Put Your Spouse on a Budget Without Ruining Your Marriage</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-5 views-row-odd views-row-last"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/make-love-not-money-sort-of">Make Love, Not Money (Sort Of)</a></span> </div> </li> </ul> </div> </div> </div> </div><br/></br> Personal Finance Family Lifestyle budget meetings compromises credit scores debt marriage money lessons relationships spouses Tue, 24 May 2016 09:30:21 +0000 Mikey Rox 1716048 at http://www.wisebread.com 8 Relationship Mistakes Everyone Makes http://www.wisebread.com/8-relationship-mistakes-everyone-makes <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/8-relationship-mistakes-everyone-makes" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://wisebread.killeracesmedia.netdna-cdn.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/couple_relationship_trouble_000013834490.jpg" alt="Couple making relationship mistakes everyone makes" title="" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="250" height="140" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p>One of the biggest issues I've found with relationships &mdash; in practically all of them &mdash; is that there are cracks in every façade; we just don't like to talk about them.</p> <p>Even though it's not the easiest topic of conversation to engage in, I'm a staunch advocate for laying our problems out on the table with people we trust. Among close friends, we can talk about what's going on in our lives, receive feedback and advice, and most importantly, recognize that we're not alone in the problems we face with our significant others. After all, the truth will set you free, right?</p> <p>In lieu of such grand admissions, let's back it up and start smaller, by identifying the universal relationship issues we all face but rarely talk about.</p> <p>See also: <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/20-money-mistakes-everyone-makes-but-no-one-talks-about">20 Money Mistakes Everyone Makes But No One Talks About</a></p> <h2>1. You Do Things Just to Please Your Partner</h2> <p>There's nothing wrong with doing something nice for your partner, even going out of your way at times to make them happy &mdash; consider it a byproduct of being in love. But when you start doing things just to please your partner &ndash; and you're doing them excessively &ndash; you run the risk of being disappointed, even more so when your proactiveness isn't warranted or requested. Eventually, you'll start to notice an imbalance in your relationship &ndash; you're pleasing your partner in various ways and he or she isn't following suit. It may be a situation that you created though, so how can you really be mad at that?</p> <p>As a result, according to Michele Fabrega, love, intimacy, and sexuality coach for men, we can feel resentful when we start to expect our partner to make sacrifices for us.</p> <p>&quot;It can end up being a sort of ledger that we keep inside our heads, a competition of sorts,&quot; she says. &quot;Instead, I like to invite my clients to really ask themselves, before they say yes to their partner's request, 'Is this something I can feel good about?' And if not, I invite partners to collaborate, not compromise.&quot;</p> <h2>2. You Become Codependent on One Another</h2> <p>We've all seen it happen to our friends: They start dating and spending more time together until eventually they can't spend time apart. That's not healthy, and if you're in this type of relationship, it's time to reevaluate your priorities.</p> <p>&quot;Some people don't allow themselves to sail through the infatuation stage, and because of this, some couples tend to lose their own lives and become intertwined in each other's,&quot; explains dating and life coach <a href="http://annahrose.com/">Annah Rose</a>. &quot;Their lives then become solely about each other.&quot;</p> <p>Becoming codependent on one another is bad habit for any relationship, but especially one in the early stages. Even when you're trying to build the relationship in the beginning, each partner needs his or her space. Without breathing room, tensions eventually will mount, likely ending in a blow-up when someone feels smothered.</p> <h2>3. You Snoop on Each Other</h2> <p>&quot;Once someone snoops they are labeled as 'crazy,' but here's the thing &mdash; in this day and age of social media and smartphones, more people than not are snooping. This becomes one of the unhealthiest traits to bring into a relationship,&quot; says Rose.</p> <p>Let's dissect that. On one hand, most people in a relationship are guilty of snooping in some form of another; most likely as a result of something that raised their suspicion, but it's important to note here that it's not just women; men are doing it &mdash; in their own way, and whether they'd like to admit it or not. Secondly, snooping is never good for the relationship. People rarely get away with it, but it also signals a bigger problem &mdash; a complete lack of trust. Maybe that's justified, but I can tell you from firsthand experience that once this habit is established, it won't stop, and neither will the activity that facilitated it. In that case, you're both going to have a hard road trying to keep that relationship together&hellip; because it probably should've ended a long time ago.</p> <h2>4. You Blame Each Other When Things Go Wrong</h2> <p>Nobody likes to admit they're wrong or at fault for whatever goes awry in a relationship, and that's never clearer than when romantic partners are in an argument. Accusations fly and fingers are pointed in an attempt to absolve oneself from responsibility for whatever you're fighting about. As we all know, however, that gets us nowhere, and Fabrega offers an alternative solution.</p> <p>&quot;Relationships are complex and the way each of us responds or reacts to life situations are infinitely unique,&quot; she says. &quot;Rather than go into blame or criticism, I like to encourage people to bring compassionate curiosity to the situation. What am I feeling? What happened here? What led to this outcome? What can I learn from this situation? What do I wish I had done differently? If partners can come together and be on the same team to address a problem, they can be part of the solution. This is key relationship skill that partners can strengthen over time.&quot;</p> <h2>5. You Try to Change the Other Person</h2> <p>I think we've all watched enough <em>Oprah</em> and <em>Dr. Phil</em> to know that we can't change our partners, no matter how hard we try. It's a fool's errand that will end up in heartbreak, so it's best to accept your partner's flaws, or move on.</p> <p>You also should do some soul searching of your own. If you want your partner to change so badly, they're probably not right for you. Find someone else who more closely embodies what you want in a man or woman, if only so you're not making your partner feel like they're not good enough all the time. That's not fair to them, and you're doing what's best for you either.</p> <h2>6. You Aren't Empathetic Enough With One Another</h2> <p>When two people love each other, they want the best for each other. Which is why it's interesting and confusing and sad that when couples argue with one another, they can be downright evil. Passion has a way of taking over sometimes, but it's important to remember that there's no taking back what you say to one another.</p> <p>&quot;Humans are pretty self-centered and we rarely look at another person's circumstances,&quot; says couples' therapist and relationship podcaster Eboni Harris. &quot;If your partner says something hurtful, think about times that you have used the wrong words and it led to an argument. Wouldn't you want the chance to explain what you meant in a safe conversation before your partner jumped down your throat? If you know that your partner loves you and is not in the habit of purposefully hurting you, give them an opportunity to explain.&quot;</p> <h2>7. You Withhold &quot;Uncomfortable&quot; Information</h2> <p>Here's something to chew on: We communicate more than ever with text messages, social media, dating apps, etc., but we rarely <em>talk</em> about anything worthwhile anymore. That goes double for those touchy subjects that we've always had a hard time discussing, and not being forthcoming with our partners can create a wedge in the relationship that sometimes drive us apart.</p> <h2>8. You Create Impossible Expectations</h2> <p>We've all pretty much been brainwashed to believe that we deserve the perfect partner. You know the one: amazing credentials online, they live incredible lives according to their various profiles, have the best families, are well-traveled, neatly dressed, blah blah blah. And physically, they're the ideal specimens &mdash; fit, attractive, curves in all the right places, and so on. So, of course, good luck (and God help you) with that!</p> <p>But as Mitch Kahan, co-founder of the dating app<a href="http://www.inviteup.com/"> InviteUp</a>, warns, spending too much time cultivating relationships online instead of offline can set up you up for failure, over and over again.</p> <p>&quot;All the pre-date chatting builds up expectations, possibly to an unreachable level,&quot; he says. &quot;The same goes for spending too much time texting your significant other; most people can't compete in person with the version of them you create in your head. Spending weeks chatting online are better served spending time in person where you can get a real feel for your chemistry without the buffer of text communications.&quot;</p> <p><em>What other relationship mistakes are we making but not talking about? I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments below.</em></p> <br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">This article is from <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/mikey-rox">Mikey Rox</a> of <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/8-relationship-mistakes-everyone-makes">Wise Bread</a>, an award-winning personal finance and <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/credit-cards">credit card comparison</a> website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:</div><div class="view view-similarterms view-id-similarterms view-display-id-block_2 view-dom-id-1"> <div class="view-content"> <div class="item-list"> <ul> <li class="views-row views-row-1 views-row-odd views-row-first"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/6-ways-it-pays-to-stay-single">6 Ways It Pays to Stay Single</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-2 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/6-ways-lust-is-keeping-you-poor">6 Ways Lust Is Keeping You Poor</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-3 views-row-odd"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/6-terrible-money-moves-to-avoid-on-the-first-date">6 Terrible Money Moves to Avoid on the First Date</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-4 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/how-to-be-happy-and-married-24-tips-from-a-24-year-old-marriage">How to Be Happy and Married: 24 Tips from a 24-Year-Old Marriage</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-5 views-row-odd views-row-last"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/spice-up-the-conversation-by-skipping-what-do-you-do">Spice Up the Conversation by Skipping &quot;What Do You Do?&quot;</a></span> </div> </li> </ul> </div> </div> </div> </div><br/></br> Lifestyle breakups dating mistakes dating tips love relationships romance Mon, 21 Dec 2015 12:00:03 +0000 Mikey Rox 1621620 at http://www.wisebread.com Best Money Tips: Easy Habits for Better Relationships http://www.wisebread.com/best-money-tips-easy-habits-for-better-relationships <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/best-money-tips-easy-habits-for-better-relationships" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://wisebread.killeracesmedia.netdna-cdn.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/happy_couple_winter_000073397965.jpg" alt="Couple learning easy habits for a better relationship" title="" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="250" height="140" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p>Welcome to Wise Bread's <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/topic/best-money-tips">Best Money Tips</a> Roundup! Today we found easy habits that improve your relationships, what you should know about year-end charitable donations, and things that charismatic people do in conversations.</p> <h2>Top 5 Articles</h2> <p><a href="http://gretchenrubin.com/happiness_project/2015/12/5-habits-relationships/">5 Quick, Easy Habits That Have Actually Improved My Relationships.</a> &mdash; Giving a real hello and good-bye when someone comes and goes allows you and your loved ones several moments of connection each day. [Gretchen Rubin]</p> <p><a href="http://www.cleverdude.com/content/5-things-you-need-to-know-about-year-end-charitable-donations/">5 Things You Need To Know About Year End Charitable Donations</a> &mdash; Only donations to qualified charities are eligible to be claimed as tax deductions. [Clever Dude]</p> <p><a href="http://www.popsugar.com/smart-living/Things-Charismatic-People-Do-Conversation-39335012">5 Things Charismatic People Do in Conversations</a> &mdash; It's OK to show your vulnerability once in a while; it makes you more relatable. [PopSugar Smart Living]</p> <p><a href="http://moneyning.com/housing/looking-to-sell-your-home-winter-might-be-the-right-time/">Looking to Sell Your Home? Winter Might be the Right Time</a> &mdash; If you use a real estate agent, it's more likely that you'll get better service and more attention if you sell your home during the winter. MoneyNIng]</p> <p><a href="http://www.frugalvillage.com/2015/12/08/top-ten-most-expensive-habits-of-americans/">Top Ten Most Expensive Habits of Americans</a> &mdash; Many people are paying for things they don't use. Get rid of the gym membership, streaming subscription, and banana saver if you don't use them regularly. [Frugal Village]</p> <h2>Other Essential Reading</h2> <p><a href="http://www.shebudgets.com/lifestyle/shopping/10-stores-with-great-return-policies-for-holiday-shopping/65007">10 Stores With Great Return Policies for Holiday Shoppin</a>g &mdash; At Zappos, you have 365 days to return any purchase and shipping is always free. [SheBudgets]</p> <p><a href="http://www.northerncheapskate.com/how-to-pick-the-perfect-recipes-for-your-holiday-baking/">How to Pick the Perfect Recipes for Your Holiday Baking</a> &mdash; Choose holiday treats that use similar ingredients so you'll have a shorter shopping list and you can buy in bulk. [Northern Cheapskate]</p> <p><a href="http://www.lazymanandmoney.com/4-ways-to-save-money-on-car-expenses/">4 Ways to Save Money on Car Expenses</a> &mdash; Timing is crucial! The best time to buy a car is at the end of December. [Lazy Man and Money]</p> <p><a href="http://www.lifeoptimizer.org/2015/12/08/becoming-influential-in-career/">6 Tips to Becoming Influential in Your Career</a> &mdash; Share original studies and content to engage your online audience. [Life Optimizer]</p> <p><a href="http://parentingsquad.com/7-things-you-must-know-if-youre-traveling-internationally-with-kids">7 Things You Must Know if You're Traveling Internationally With Kids</a> &mdash; Meals can be challenging unless your kids are adventurous eaters. Prepare their palates by visiting local restaurants with foods from the countries you will travel to. [Parenting Squad]</p> <br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">This article is from <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/amy-lu">Amy Lu</a> of <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/best-money-tips-easy-habits-for-better-relationships">Wise Bread</a>, an award-winning personal finance and <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/credit-cards">credit card comparison</a> website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:</div><div class="view view-similarterms view-id-similarterms view-display-id-block_2 view-dom-id-1"> <div class="view-content"> <div class="item-list"> <ul> <li class="views-row views-row-1 views-row-odd views-row-first"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/spice-up-the-conversation-by-skipping-what-do-you-do">Spice Up the Conversation by Skipping &quot;What Do You Do?&quot;</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-2 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/how-to-be-happy-and-married-24-tips-from-a-24-year-old-marriage">How to Be Happy and Married: 24 Tips from a 24-Year-Old Marriage</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-3 views-row-odd"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/how-to-deal-when-your-spouse-is-suffering-from-burnout">How to Deal When Your Spouse is Suffering From Burnout</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-4 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/15-things-most-people-screw-up-when-meeting-the-parents">15 Things Most People Screw Up When Meeting the Parents</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-5 views-row-odd views-row-last"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/6-ways-it-pays-to-stay-single">6 Ways It Pays to Stay Single</a></span> </div> </li> </ul> </div> </div> </div> </div><br/></br> Life Hacks best money tips relationships Thu, 10 Dec 2015 20:00:04 +0000 Amy Lu 1619179 at http://www.wisebread.com Make These 6 Relationship Moves Now or You'll Regret It in 20 Years http://www.wisebread.com/make-these-6-relationship-moves-now-or-youll-regret-it-in-20-years <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/make-these-6-relationship-moves-now-or-youll-regret-it-in-20-years" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://wisebread.killeracesmedia.netdna-cdn.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/happy_couple_000032796334.jpg" alt="Couple making relationship moves now before they regret it " title="" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="250" height="140" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p>There's no science to relationships. That said, communication is key to keeping you and your significant other together and happy in the face of everyday setbacks. If the goal is to grow old together in matching rocking chairs, then make these six relationship moves or you'll regret it in 20 years. (See also: <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/avoid-these-5-pitfalls-when-moving-in-together?ref=seealso">Avoid These 5 Pitfalls When Moving in Together</a>)</p> <h2>1. Speak Up and Say No</h2> <p>Being assertive with your wants and needs is just as important as being compassionate and considerate of your partner's needs. This goes for both big and small topics: You don't like carnations, but you keep getting them on your birthday. You grin and bear it through <em>The Big Bang Theory, </em>because it's their favorite show. Your partner wants kids and you don't. Your partner wants a house in their home state someday and you don't want to move. This is also true with intimacy preferences. If you've tried something in bed enough times to know you don't like it, speak up &mdash; sexual incompatibility is a chief cause for many breakups and divorces. It's better to address it now.</p> <p><strong>What this prevents</strong>: A sense of obligation to do something you don't like. If it goes long enough, resentment and hostility will bubble up to the surface. Your partner will also be upset, because you didn't articulate your wants and needs in the first place.</p> <h2>2. Delete Your Dating Apps</h2> <p>We all know someone in a relationship who still flips through OKCupid and Match, or swipes through Tinder or Grindr after a beer or two. Why are you still there? If you don't think the relationship is working out, then it might be time to end it. Most people in a committed relationship would expect their partners to at least ignore those websites and unsubscribe to their emails. At the end of the day, you put yourself in a position that calls your trustworthiness into question.</p> <p><strong>What this prevents</strong>: Possibly unwarranted accusations of cheating. If you're not in an open or poly relationship, you could lose your partner's trust.</p> <h2>3. Schedule Date Nights</h2> <p>Ugh, date nights, right? They sound as if they would suck the romance out of your currently stable and happy relationship. However, after a few years, there's always a slump. Every couple faces it and wonders, <em>are we still in love</em>? You get so comfortable that you forget to celebrate each other and the love that you share. Ideally, couples would automatically set aside one night per week (or at least per month) as a special date night. It could be any date ritual that is important to you. It's fun to dress up a little and go somewhere to show each other off.</p> <p><strong>What this prevents</strong>: Boredom, loneliness, and the dreaded &quot;We never go anywhere!&quot; fights.</p> <h2>4. Sort Out Your Finances Together</h2> <p>No one likes doing this. Instead, we make assumptions and hope for the best until a surprise comes our way. This is a recipe for disaster if you're planning to be in a relationship for the long haul with someone. Even if you aren't married, you should be upfront about debt, savings goals, budgets, and spending habits. Be willing to share and take advice from each other. If anyone has a decent chance at helping you improve your finances, it's a loving partner who shares your goals.</p> <p><strong>What this prevents</strong>: The unwelcome surprise that your partner has $100,000 in student loan debt, which will exacerbate the already stressful fights over spending, bills, and savings down the road.</p> <h2>5. Share a Hobby</h2> <p>It's always a good idea to share activities that remind you why you liked each other in the first place. Do you both collect art? Do you both enjoy hunting? Do you both want to learn a skill? Find an affordable and fun thing that you can enjoy together on a basic level, as <em>friends.</em> Because friendship is the solid base of any romantic relationship. Share opinions and help each other grow at your chosen skill. This might sound like a recreational &quot;elective,&quot; but consider how much closer sharing a passion or collaborating toward a goal could bring you together.</p> <p><strong>What this prevents</strong>: Lack of shared purpose beyond the household, which can lead to resentment and estrangement. Or, having fights about one partner being &quot;too into&quot; a hobby that excludes the other.</p> <h2>6. Know When It's Over</h2> <p>There are a myriad of reasons why you could want to end a relationship. Perhaps your life goals don't mesh, or one of you won't go to couple's therapy, or you're no longer having sex. If something is a dealbreaker for you, you have to declare it as such. If you've already talked through your needs in an open and compassionate way many times before, with no results, you need the courage to end the relationship, because it's what's best for both of you. Don't hang on waiting for a force majeure to occur. That's how people remain in relationships with abusive or emotionally absent partners. No one deserves that.</p> <p><strong>What this prevents</strong>: Feeling trapped in a stagnant, unloving, or toxic relationship for years.</p> <p><em>What are you doing to keep your relationship fresh and strong for the long haul?</em></p> <br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">This article is from <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/amanda-meadows">Amanda Meadows</a> of <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/make-these-6-relationship-moves-now-or-youll-regret-it-in-20-years">Wise Bread</a>, an award-winning personal finance and <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/credit-cards">credit card comparison</a> website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:</div><div class="view view-similarterms view-id-similarterms view-display-id-block_2 view-dom-id-2"> <div class="view-content"> <div class="item-list"> <ul> <li class="views-row views-row-1 views-row-odd views-row-first"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/10-relationship-rules-you-should-be-breaking">10 Relationship Rules You Should Be Breaking</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-2 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/6-ways-lust-is-keeping-you-poor">6 Ways Lust Is Keeping You Poor</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-3 views-row-odd"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/avoid-these-5-pitfalls-when-moving-in-together">Avoid These 5 Pitfalls When Moving in Together</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-4 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/happily-ever-after-how-to-stay-married-for-29-years-and-counting">Happily Ever After: How to Stay Married for 29 Years (and Counting)</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-5 views-row-odd views-row-last"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/6-ways-it-pays-to-stay-single">6 Ways It Pays to Stay Single</a></span> </div> </li> </ul> </div> </div> </div> </div><br/></br> Personal Development advice Dating love relationships tips Wed, 28 Oct 2015 15:15:19 +0000 Amanda Meadows 1601081 at http://www.wisebread.com Avoid These 5 Pitfalls When Moving in Together http://www.wisebread.com/avoid-these-5-pitfalls-when-moving-in-together <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/avoid-these-5-pitfalls-when-moving-in-together" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://wisebread.killeracesmedia.netdna-cdn.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/couple_fighting_000051175734.jpg" alt="Couple trying to avoid relationship pitfalls when moving in together" title="" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="250" height="140" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p>Moving in with the person you love is a huge step! In fact, it's so huge that we get too swept up in the excitement to really look at the gritty details. These are five things you should never do when moving in together.</p> <h2>1. Don't Avoid Organizing Your Stuff Before the Move</h2> <p>This is one of the most useful things you can do to avoid fights about belongings down the line. You must be willing to self-edit (and to help your partner self-edit) before schlepping all your stuff into a new place where it may not all fit. Clean house and decide which items of yours are most important to keep, so you can make room for the new items you'll acquire as a cohabiting couple.</p> <p>Remember these key categories: Keep, Sell, Donate, and Toss. Keep items such as any clothing you have actually worn in the past year, or big ticket furniture items you can't spare. Sell items of some value that are either redundant or no longer needed. Donate items like new clothing you haven't worn in the last year, shoes, books, and anything not worth taking time to <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/the-5-best-things-to-buy-or-sell-on-craigslist">sell on Craigslist</a> or a yard sale. Toss pretty much everything else! Let your partner have a veto option.</p> <h2>2. Don't Reject Your Significant Other's Red Flags</h2> <p>This can range from extremely small to extremely big issues. To some, a loud snore could potentially be a deal breaker; but harboring an addiction to pills could go undetected for years before finally moving in with someone. It comes down to how well you know each other. What are your partner's triggers and soft spots, and will you be able to work around them? </p> <p>For some, a series of talks is all you need to answer questions like, &quot;How will our work schedules mesh?&quot; Or, &quot;Can we share a bedroom or do we need separate spaces as well?&quot; Or, &quot;Who will be in charge of the bills?&quot;</p> <p>There are also elephants in the room that you must address. For example: If your significant other has a child, you will need to be a part of the child's life. Is that something you're ready to do?</p> <p>Another example: If your partner has a disability, how will it affect your responsibilities to them and the home?</p> <p>Maybe you're the one with a lot red flags. Don't react defensively &ndash; deeply consider your partner's needs and decide if they are workable for you. You can't just hope it will all fall into place.</p> <h2>3. Don't Assume Finances Will Work Themselves Out</h2> <p>Finances are the largest source of stress and arguments in every household. Yours will not be an exception. While you're not legally obligated to each other's money, you do need to share some pertinent information with your significant other before you set up your household system. <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/5-life-mistakes-you-need-to-stop-making-by-30">Are you in massive debt</a>? Are you terrible at managing bills?</p> <p>If you're the organized one who has their bills set up on auto-pay, you're probably going to be the one to shepherd the other into a better system. Try setting up an automatic monthly transfer from your partner's bank account to yours to ensure you get their share of the rent and bills on time. Don't think of this as babysitting; think of this as an investment of your time and expertise into avoiding future fights when the lights suddenly get shut-off!</p> <h2>4. Don't Let One Person Do All the Housework</h2> <p>This is a tough one that inevitably happens to most new couples. Whoever gets sick of staring at the unending tower of dirty dishes first is ultimately the one who cleans them. That's not fair, but it's really easy to get stuck into imbalanced patterns like this when living together.</p> <p>Have a discussion, before moving in, about housekeeping equality. Who takes out the trash? Who does the dishes? (Hint: if you don't own a dishwasher, I suggest it's whoever didn't cook the meal.) Who fixes the bookcase when it starts to teeter? These are tasks that have nothing to do with gender or who earns more money. It's usually whoever can do it with the least amount of goading. If neither of you wants to clean, agree to split the cost of a monthly cleaning service and never fight about dusting again.</p> <h2>5. Don't Pretend You're Married</h2> <p>This is a hard one. Many people see shacking up as a stepping stone to marriage, and for many, it is. This is a great time to test each other's willingness to compromise, generosity with belongings, and emotional, sexual, and financial compatibility on an everyday level. This is all invaluable.</p> <p>But it doesn't mean that you're married. Avoid forming unhealthy, codependent habits with him or her. Your stuff doesn't belong to your partner, nor theirs to you. You have a choice in every decision that doesn't necessarily have to include your partner. You can hang in there and try to make a relationship work, but you can always leave if it isn't going well. That's the whole point, isn't it?</p> <p><em>Did you fall into any of these traps when you moved in with a significant other?</em></p> <br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">This article is from <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/amanda-meadows">Amanda Meadows</a> of <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/avoid-these-5-pitfalls-when-moving-in-together">Wise Bread</a>, an award-winning personal finance and <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/credit-cards">credit card comparison</a> website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:</div><div class="view view-similarterms view-id-similarterms view-display-id-block_2 view-dom-id-1"> <div class="view-content"> <div class="item-list"> <ul> <li class="views-row views-row-1 views-row-odd views-row-first"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/heres-how-much-life-in-the-big-city-will-cost-you">Here&#039;s How Much Life in the Big City Will Cost You</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-2 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/make-these-6-relationship-moves-now-or-youll-regret-it-in-20-years">Make These 6 Relationship Moves Now or You&#039;ll Regret It in 20 Years</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-3 views-row-odd"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/10-relationship-rules-you-should-be-breaking">10 Relationship Rules You Should Be Breaking</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-4 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/10-tips-for-balancing-love-and-money">10 Tips for Balancing Love and Money</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-5 views-row-odd views-row-last"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/6-ways-it-pays-to-stay-single">6 Ways It Pays to Stay Single</a></span> </div> </li> </ul> </div> </div> </div> </div><br/></br> Frugal Living Personal Development Dating finance housing living arrangements moving moving in relationships Mon, 12 Oct 2015 17:00:44 +0000 Amanda Meadows 1586180 at http://www.wisebread.com 6 Things to Never Do When Sharing Finances http://www.wisebread.com/6-things-to-never-do-when-sharing-finances <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/6-things-to-never-do-when-sharing-finances" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://wisebread.killeracesmedia.netdna-cdn.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/happy_couple_piggybank_000055685026.jpg" alt="Couple learning what no to do when sharing finances" title="" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="250" height="140" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p>Getting married or moving in together implies that you're ready to share your life and living space with another person. It also usually means sharing finances.</p> <p>Merging your income with your partner's is by far one of the fastest ways to upgrade your lifestyle. If you were struggling to make ends meet on your own, you might finally have a chance to get ahead &mdash; or at least catch up. But while combining your incomes and sharing finances has its benefits, success is all in how you approach the plan.</p> <p>Every couple has to come up with a strategy that works for them. There are no hard-and-fast rules, and a system that works well for one couple might not work for another. To give yourself a fighting chance of striking the right balance, here are six things you should never do when sharing finances.</p> <h2>1. Don't Think an Even Split Is Always the Answer</h2> <p>Some people think a 50/50 split is the most reasonable and simplest way to share finances, like when couples open a joint account and then contribute equal amounts toward their shared expenses. Sounds pretty fair, right? Except 50/50 isn't also an equitable solution, and it really depends on how much you earn in comparison to your partner.</p> <p>An even-split might work if you and your partner earn roughly the same salary. But if one person earns considerably more than the other, an even-split can create an unfair balance, where one has a lot of disposable income, and the other can't keep his or her head above water. Before you can share finances, you have to discuss what's coming in and what's going out (including what each person spends on personal expenses). With everything on the table and all your expenses written down, you might conclude as a couple that a 50/50 split isn't realistic and choose a different approach, perhaps a 60/40 split or another breakdown that works for you.</p> <h2>2. Don't Lie About How Much You Owe</h2> <p>You need to be perfectly honest about how much you owe before sharing finances; this isn't the time to be embarrassed about your <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/7-personal-finance-lessons-women-learn-in-their-30s">credit card debt</a>. Coming up with a system that works requires that both of you are upfront about personal expenses. Sugarcoating your debt and saying you owe less than you actually do can throw off the entire household. And if you're hiding monthly payments, your partner might eventually question where your extra money goes.</p> <p>Furthermore, lying about debt can destroy the financial trust in the relationship. In my opinion this is something that should be discussed when the relationship gets serious &mdash; not just when you've decided to open a joint account. If you're talking engagement, you should also be talking about your financial past &mdash; bottom line. Not the most romantic of subjects, granted, but still necessary.</p> <h2>3. Don't Lie About How Much You Earn</h2> <p>Understating how much you earn can also break the financial trust between you and your partner just like lying about how much you owe. If you're splitting expenses based on your incomes, don't lie and say you earn less than you do to avoid paying your fair share of the expenses. You might be able to get away with this lie for a bit, but your partner will most likely uncover the deceit. The truth will eventually come out if you apply for a mortgage together and have to disclose your accurate income, or if you decide to file a joint tax return down the road.</p> <h2>4. Don't Give One Person Control of the Money</h2> <p>It doesn't matter who's better with money, it's important for both of you to have an active role in managing shared finances. Putting one person in complete control of the money is dangerous and can trigger a financial imbalance. If it's easier for one person to write all the checks, fine. Just make sure you both have an accurate picture of the finances, and no one should be left in the dark. Don't wait until your credit score tanks to question whether your partner is making on-time payments. Both of you need access to the checkbooks and online accounts so you always know what's going on with your money.</p> <h2>5. Don't Forget to Leave a Buffer</h2> <p>Dollar signs probably will pop into your head after moving in together and combining your incomes. But just because you now have a combined household income of $70,000 doesn't mean you should spend $70,000 a year. Whether you're paying your own way or sharing expenses, never live at your max. Instead, think about how you can live off half or 3/4 of your combined income and plan to save the rest. This can help you build a sizable cash cushion for yourselves, and you wouldn't have to worry about living paycheck-to-paycheck.</p> <p>Since money is one of the biggest causes of arguments in a relationship, this strategy can help keep those at bay if both of you are on the same page and committed to your partnership's financial success.</p> <h2>6. Don't Immediately Share Credit Cards</h2> <p>Sharing finances doesn't mean you have to share everything &mdash; at least not immediately. You also need to protect yourself financially. So before applying for a credit card together or adding your partner's name to your credit card, seriously consider his or her shopping habits. When you share a credit card with your partner, you're just as responsible for debt he or she incurs. And if you let your partner borrow your credit card, you're ultimately responsible for any and all charges on this account. Sharing a credit card isn't the worst thing in the world, just make sure you're both willing to take responsibility for the balance, regardless of who charges what.</p> <p><em>Do you have more suggestions on what not to do when sharing finances? Let me know in the comments below.</em></p> <br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">This article is from <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/mikey-rox">Mikey Rox</a> of <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/6-things-to-never-do-when-sharing-finances">Wise Bread</a>, an award-winning personal finance and <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/credit-cards">credit card comparison</a> website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:</div><div class="view view-similarterms view-id-similarterms view-display-id-block_2 view-dom-id-2"> <div class="view-content"> <div class="item-list"> <ul> <li class="views-row views-row-1 views-row-odd views-row-first"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/3-simple-ways-to-split-bills-with-your-spouse">3 Simple Ways to Split Bills With Your Spouse</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-2 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/5-money-conversations-every-couple-should-have">5 Money Conversations Every Couple Should Have</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-3 views-row-odd"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/8-things-i-learned-about-money-after-getting-married">8 Things I Learned About Money After Getting Married</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-4 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/5-questions-couples-should-ask-in-the-money-talk">5 Questions Couples Should Ask in the Money Talk</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-5 views-row-odd views-row-last"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/could-a-divorce-improve-your-finances">Could a Divorce Improve Your Finances?</a></span> </div> </li> </ul> </div> </div> </div> </div><br/></br> Personal Finance marriage moving in together relationships sharing finances sharing money splitting bills Fri, 02 Oct 2015 11:00:29 +0000 Mikey Rox 1573086 at http://www.wisebread.com