General Tips http://www.wisebread.com/taxonomy/term/8131/all en-US 3 Unbelievable Visualization Board Success Stories http://www.wisebread.com/3-unbelievable-visualization-board-success-stories <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/3-unbelievable-visualization-board-success-stories" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://www.wisebread.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/vision%20board.jpg" alt="vision board" title="vision board" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="250" height="140" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p>Visualization boards, collaged with images and words depicting our goals and desires, are a popular technique for manifesting what we want out of life. It's really quite simple: Paste visual representations of your wishes and intentions on poster board, thereby activating the subconscious mind to focus its energies on manifesting them to come true. (See also: <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/one-thing-you-need-to-do-to-be-happy-and-improve-your-relationships?ref=seealso">One Thing You Need to Do to be Happy and Improve Your Relationships</a>)</p> <p>&quot;If you repeat the word, 'blue, blue, blue,' and you start looking around the room, all the blue things will start popping out,&quot; says sociologist and life coach Martha Beck. &quot;Part of it is quantum physics&hellip; We know now, scientifically, that <a href="http://www.oprah.com/spirit/Go-Beyond-The-Secret_1">consciousness brings matter into being</a> where there was energy. So it's not even necessarily that it draws it toward you. The conclusion is you're literally creating some of this stuff.&quot;</p> <p>It's a concept that has been given <a href="http://www.oprah.com/spirit/O-Dream-Board-Envision-Your-Best-LifeTM">the gold star of approval by the likes of Oprah.</a> But if it sounds a little hokey to you, you've got company. Dr. Neil Farber, an expert in psychology, writes that <a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/experts/neil-farber-md-phd">visualization boards fall short in helping us achieve our goals</a> because they don't require us to take any real action. Rather, they are all about letting our thoughts do the work for us.</p> <p>&quot;Fantasizing about your perfect world and your perfect life may make you feel better in the short term but will limit your ability to transform your dreams into reality,&quot; Farber writes. &quot;Dream about it, envision how you will realistically do it or get it, and then get off your tush and make it happen.&quot;</p> <p>So: Do visualization boards really work?</p> <p>It's a controversial question, and there's little scientific evidence to support or deny the blessings they're meant to bring into our lives. But there are certainly believers among us. Read on for our roundup of the most amazing visualization success stories out there. You just might be inspired to create your own.</p> <h2>1. Manifesting Love</h2> <p>Life Coach Cheryl Richardson said she pasted a photo of a man on her visualization board. Not just any man &mdash; a man representing the person she wanted to fall in love with and marry. <a href="http://www.oprah.com/spirit/The-Law-of-Attraction-Real-Life-Stories_1/7">Now she's married to a man who looks like the picture of the man on her visualization board</a>. Coincidence? Maybe, but Richardson says no. It didn't happen overnight &mdash; in fact, it took years &mdash; but Richardson said she firmly believes she manifested her love and marriage from her visualization board into real life.</p> <p>Richardson's marriage may be the most miraculous thing she's manifested, but she said her visualization board has brought her many other successes. &quot;Phil Donahue was on here, and that's the first national show I ever did after I put him on the board,&quot; she said.</p> <h2>2. 15 Minutes of Fame</h2> <p>When Lisa Nichols, a struggling single mom turned successful entrepreneur, made her visualization board, she included the following words: &quot;<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U9Rvcx2L2CI">Lisa Reveals All On Oprah</a>.&quot; A few years later, that's exactly what she did. Nichols, a motivational speaker, was invited by Oprah to discuss her visualization board experience on the show as part of a segment inspired by <a href="http://www.thesecret.tv/index.html">The Secret</a>, a movie about the law of attraction in which the main character manifests his dream home from a visualization board.</p> <p>&quot;It's like if you were at a restaurant and you ordered something,&quot; Nichols said, describing her own visualization board process. &quot;You fully expect it to come served that way. That's how the universe is. You're putting out orders consciously and unconsciously and expecting it to come back. So if you say, 'I'm never going to have a good relationship.' &mdash; you just placed an order.&quot;</p> <h2>3. Olympic Motivation</h2> <p>When three-time Olympian Ruben Gonzalez was a kid, he wrote Sports Illustrated asking where he could learn how to luge. The magazine mailed Gonzalez a photograph of a man racing on a luge, and Gonzalez framed it so <a href="http://www.thelugeman.com/success-vision-board.htm">he could see it from his bed every morning when he woke up</a>.</p> <p>&quot;Every morning, the first person I saw when I woke up was 'The Luge Man,'&quot; Gonzalez wrote. &quot;Seeing 'The Luge Man' was a constant reminder that I was training for the Olympics. He reminded me to eat right, to work out, and to surround myself with winners. At night, before turning out the lights, the last person I saw was 'The Luge Man.' All night long, I dreamt about the luge and the Olympics.</p> <p>&quot;During the day, the picture focused my conscious mind on the dream. At night, it conditioned my unconscious mind to aim for my goal.&quot;</p> <p>Gonzalez is now such a believer in the success that visualization boarding brought to his life that he has an entire website dedicated to encouraging others to try it for themselves.</p> <p><em>Do you use a visualization board? Has it worked for you? Please share in comments!</em></p> <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/3-unbelievable-visualization-board-success-stories" class="sharethis-link" title="3 Unbelievable Visualization Board Success Stories" rel="nofollow">ShareThis</a><br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">Written by <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/brittany-lyte">Brittany Lyte</a> and published on <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/">Wise Bread</a>. Read more <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/taxonomy/term/"> articles from Wise Bread</a>.</div></div> General Tips Personal Development optimism positive thinking success visualization board Tue, 21 Oct 2014 17:00:07 +0000 Brittany Lyte 1239950 at http://www.wisebread.com 15 Productive Ways to Reduce Stress http://www.wisebread.com/15-productive-ways-to-reduce-stress <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/15-productive-ways-to-reduce-stress" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://www.wisebread.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/businessman-golf-135224775-small.jpg" alt="businessman golf" title="businessman golf" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="250" height="140" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p>There's no way to avoid stress altogether &mdash; unless you know something we don't know &mdash; but there are plenty of positive ways you can reduce it before it gets out of hand. Let's look at 15.</p> <h2>1. Take Your Business to the Golf Course</h2> <p>Mixing a little business with pleasure on the links is a great way to relieve stress, says Tony Gomes, president of a financial services company that helps manage wealth.</p> <p>&quot;My job can be stressful at times, like many people's, but I find one of the most <a href="http://tonygomesonline.com/reasons-why-every-business-professionals-needs-to-learn-how-to-play-golf/">productive ways to reduce stress</a> is to go on a business golf outing,&quot; he says. &quot;It is well known that a lot of business gets done on the golf course, but also, golf is seen as a very relaxing way to spend time. People may think that there are some emotional peaks and valleys that enter when playing a round of golf, but if you are out there for other purposes (business, exercise, etc.), then it can be one of the more relaxing activities.&quot;</p> <h2>2. Get Your 'Om' On With Meditation</h2> <p>Barb Schmidt is the author of <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0757317987/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=390957&amp;creativeASIN=0757317987&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;tag=wisbre03-20&amp;linkId=NWME563IWK26U7WB">The Practice: Simple Tools for Managing Stress, Finding Inner Peace and Uncovering Happiness</a>, and she counts meditation among her top stress-relieving tactics.</p> <p>&quot;Starting your day in stillness and peace is setting the tone for your whole day,&quot; she says. &quot;In a 5-minute meditation, you are training your mind by placing your attention on your breath, practicing being patient, and spending time with yourself, connecting with that deep place of calmness and strength. This time in the morning grounds you as you go into your day with the knowing you are carrying this peace with you.&quot;</p> <p>If you're not necessarily into that holistic way of thinking, perhaps you're keen to know that there's <a href="http://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/meditation/in-depth/meditation/art-20045858">scientific evidence that meditation is ideal for stress management</a>.</p> <h2>3. Plan Your Tomorrow Today</h2> <p>You can eliminate a decent amount of stress by thinking ahead, according to Dr. Joshua Jacobi, a board certified cardiologist.</p> <p>&quot;Plan out the day in advance the night before,&quot; he suggests. &quot;I like to think of the analogy of driving in a car. If my day is planned out, then I know where I am going. If my day is not planned out in advance, then I feel like I am lost driving around in my car. Being lost stresses me out.&quot;</p> <p>Put this advice to use right now. Pick out your outfit, make your lunch, and make a to-do list for tomorrow. Your stress level is almost guaranteed to go down at least a little.</p> <h2>4. Sweat It Out the Old Fashioned Way</h2> <p>Feeling overwhelmed and a little anxious? Send those stress symptoms packing by getting that body in motion.</p> <p>There are <a href="http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-living/stress-management/in-depth/exercise-and-stress/art-20044469">a number of benefits to working out</a>, like increased production of endorphins (neurotransmitters that give you the feel-goods), letting your mind concentrate on something else besides your burdens, and better sleep. Have you ever noticed how upbeat your fitness-minded friends are? They're in on the secret, and you should be too.</p> <h2>5. Add More Yoga to Your Routine</h2> <p>Like meditation, yoga is beneficial when you're dealing with stress. You're able to concentrate on a positive activity while practicing yoga instead of harping on the negatives in your life.</p> <p>&quot;The <a href="http://www.webmd.com/fitness-exercise/features/yoga-for-stress-management">benefits of yoga include decreased stress</a> and tension, increased strength and balance, increased flexibility, lowered blood pressure and reduced cortisol levels,&quot; said Beth Shaw, Founder/President of Yogafit Training Systems.</p> <p>So grab your mat, practice your Downward Dog, and let that stress slip away.</p> <h2>6. Put Your Problems on Paper</h2> <p>As a writer, I can tell you that putting my thoughts down on paper is a cathartic experience when I'm under a lot of stress. Have you heard that piece of advice that when you're mad at something, particularly a person, you should write them a letter and then burn it afterward? It's not a bad suggestion, because in most cases you'll calm down during the writing process and you'll get your issues out so you can handle them in a more positive way.</p> <p>Life mastery coach Jason Treu agrees.</p> <p>&quot;Write a letter forgiving someone else,&quot; he says. &quot;You never have to deliver it. Bottling up anger and resentment causes high levels of stress. Forgiveness doesn't take two parties &mdash; just one. You write the letter, then stand in front of a mirror and read it. It's pretty amazing at what happens.&quot;</p> <h2>7. Look Into the Benefits of Acupuncture</h2> <p>Acupuncture dates back many millennia &mdash; like way back to the BCE &mdash; so there's reason to believe that it's an effective treatment for stress relief.</p> <p>A 2013 study published in the Journal of Endocrinology demonstrated that acupuncture blocks the chronic effects of stress, according to Nicole Murray, a licensed acupuncturist.</p> <p>&quot;First, acupuncture regulates the sympathetic nervous system 'fight or flight' response. Second, acupuncture regulates the hormones that affect the body's reaction to stress, mood and emotions,&quot; she explains. &quot;In our clinic, Beach Community Acupuncture in San Diego, stress is the primary reason many of our patients seek treatment. Stress also contributes to other, more serious health conditions. Patients overwhelmingly report stress relief and relaxation after receiving acupuncture. Even better, there are more and more community acupuncture clinics popping up around the country to make these treatments more affordable.&quot;</p> <h2>8. Eliminate the Unnecessary</h2> <p>A feeling of peace washes over me when I cut something out of my life that was causing me stress. I'm sure you've experienced this before, too. It's a practice we should do a bit more often perhaps.</p> <p>Licensed psychologist Dr. Anita Marchesani says that all of her clients arrive stressed out &mdash; and she's ready to help them overcome it.</p> <p>&quot;The first thing we do is figure out what needs to go from their lives or businesses,&quot; she explains. &quot;This means saying 'no' or 'not right now' to certain demands that do not align with their primary objectives, no matter what they are. Good, solid, and consistent boundaries are a foundational stress management tool. It increases focus, and therefore increases productivity. People get results when they do this&hellip; although no one 'likes' to do this.&quot;</p> <h2>9. Express Your Feelings More Freely</h2> <p>I've never been known to mince words, so I totally agree with Dr. Fran Walfish &mdash; psychotherapist and expert panelist on the upcoming WE TV show &quot;Sex Box&quot; &mdash; when she advocates for saying exactly what's on your mind as a way to relieve stress.</p> <p>&quot;Express your feelings in the moment,&quot; she encourages. &quot;Do not allow anger and disappointment to build up inside you. Say what you feel clearly and respectfully. It will free you.&quot;</p> <p>Bottling those feelings up will only drag you down in the long run. Let it out.</p> <h2>10. Activate Dance Therapy</h2> <p>This is one of the more interesting and super fun ways to relieve stress that I've heard: Dance! The advice comes from Kim Hardy, author of <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0978618750/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=390957&amp;creativeASIN=0978618750&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;tag=wisbre03-20&amp;linkId=W6U3HW6I5EJ7KV6K">RELAUNCH!: 5 Keys to Getting Past Stuck and Stress at Work and Life</a>.</p> <p>&quot;At the end of a stressful day, I like to go into my garage and turn up the music as loud as I can until I'm able to feel the music vibrating in my soul, and then I dance,&quot; she confesses. &quot;My musical guests range from Michael Jackson to James brown, and sometimes I sprinkle in a little country to mix it up.&quot;</p> <p>Let's get this stress-free party started!</p> <h2>11. Breathe, Relax, Daydream</h2> <p>If your day won't allow for yoga or an impromptu dance party, you can still lower your stress. Try this three-prong approach detailed by Dr. Lori Schade &mdash; a licensed marriage and family therapist who often treats patients for stress-related depression, anxiety, and relationship problems &mdash; anytime, anywhere.</p> <ul> <li>Breathe with your diaphragm. Under stress, people have a tendency to breathe shallowly in their chest, and deep breathing begins to reverse the stress response.<br /> &nbsp;</li> <li>Engage in a progressive muscle relaxation exercise in which you start at the top of your head and tighten muscle groups as tight as you can and then release, releasing stress in the process (moving from the top of the head to neck, shoulders, chest, arms, stomach, etc., down to your feet).<br /> &nbsp;</li> <li>Create an image for yourself while you breathe, somewhere peaceful. Research shows that by imagining yourself relaxed, the brain will start to respond in ways as if you are participating in that scene.</li> </ul> <h2>12. Spend Time on an Activity That Requires Little Thought</h2> <p>When life gets complicated and stress starts to take over, engage in something decidedly mundane.</p> <p>New York-based artist Imani Powell-Razat says that she allows her mind to &quot;completely zone out&quot; with boring daily tasks like washing the dishes, sweeping the floor, or stretching a canvas.</p> <p>Take a cue from Imani the next time you feel stress taking over by finding something to do that requires little no thought.</p> <h2>13. Ditch the Diet</h2> <p>&quot;A study conducted at UCLA found that dieting increases both perceived stress as well as the stress hormone cortisol,&quot; says Dr. Ellen R. Albertson, a licensed wellness coach and founder of <a href="http://www.smashyourscale.com">SmashYourScale.com</a></p> <p>The gist of this premise, according to the psychologist behind the study, Dr. A Janet Tomiyama, is that if not eating food makes us feel badly, then eating food must make us feel good. &quot;As a stress researcher, I realized that I can empirically measure whether food can or cannot relieve stress,&quot; she says.</p> <h2>14. Clear the Clutter</h2> <p>Similar to how you can lower stress by eliminating unnecessary people and things from you life, clearing the clutter can be a beneficial tactic in finding more inner peace, too.</p> <p>Modern feng shui master Dana Claudat says that &quot;by spending even 10 minutes a day sifting through a junk drawer, weeding out a closet, eliminating extra paperwork and the like, you can dramatically decrease stress. Electronic clutter &mdash; emails, social media, files on computers &mdash; is just as important these days to clear as the obvious clutter of papers, extra stuff, piles for donation, and everyday mess.&quot;</p> <h2>15. Treat Yourself</h2> <p>Many of these suggestions on how to lower stress have come from doctors and other experts, but this one is all me.</p> <p>When I'm stressed, I like to take a step back and evaluate everything that I've got going on. My stress is usually a result of being too busy. But being too busy generally means that I'm being productive &mdash; and that's cause for a little self-praise. I like to give myself a pat on the back (because who else will?) for handling my responsibilities the best way I know how and continuing to truck on.</p> <p>I also like to treat myself to something special (like a piece of chocolate cake) or engage in an activity that helps me unwind (like retail therapy) to take my mind off life for a bit. If you're not taking time for yourself and treating yourself to small pleasures along the way, life will pass you by (and give you <a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/face-it/201203/does-stress-cause-wrinkles-and-gray-hair-fact-or-fiction">gray hair and wrinkles faster</a>), and you might not realize it until it's too late. Step back, relax, and do something nice for yourself today. You deserve it.</p> <p><em>Do you have other productive ways that we can lower stress? Please share in comments!</em></p> <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/15-productive-ways-to-reduce-stress" class="sharethis-link" title="15 Productive Ways to Reduce Stress" rel="nofollow">ShareThis</a><br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">Written by <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/mikey-rox">Mikey Rox</a> and published on <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/">Wise Bread</a>. Read more <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/taxonomy/term/"> articles from Wise Bread</a>.</div></div> General Tips Personal Development stress stress reduction Tue, 21 Oct 2014 11:00:05 +0000 Mikey Rox 1240247 at http://www.wisebread.com 11 Ways to Get Over Rejection http://www.wisebread.com/11-ways-to-get-over-rejection <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/11-ways-to-get-over-rejection" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://www.wisebread.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/boy-rejected-relationship-177307922-small.jpg" alt="boy rejected" title="boy rejected" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="250" height="141" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p>Rejection sucks.</p> <p>That, my friends, is a cold, hard fact. No matter what realm of life you've lost out on &mdash; work, school, relationships, home &mdash; not being chosen is hard.</p> <p>It's easy to let a rejection or two make you feel like, just maybe, there's something wrong with you. Maybe it really is you and not them. (See also: <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/mend-a-broken-heart-without-breaking-the-bank?ref=seealso">Mend a Broken Heart Without Breaking the Bank</a>)</p> <p>While getting past a rejection and finding your spirit and energy again can be a difficult process, taking your time to examine the situation and learn from it is one of the best ways to grow. This gives you the opportunity to make some changes to your behavior for next time, and to become more secure in who you are, so that rejection doesn't rock you as hard next time.</p> <h2>Understanding Rejection</h2> <p>Before you can start to get over your rejection, it helps to understand why being rejected sucks so much.</p> <h3>Fear of Rejection Is Hard-Wired</h3> <p>Being an essential and valued part of a group used to be even more important than it is now. Think about it: In ancient societies, it would have been nearly impossible to find food and water and defend yourself all on your own. If your social group left you behind, you would be almost sure to die. Thus, <a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/thriving101/201012/rejection-losers-guide">the human brain is wired to fear being alone</a>.</p> <p>While not getting a job or a date don't have life-and-death significance now, our brains don't know that, and so we end up feeling desperate and lost when we are rejected.</p> <h3>Rejection Leads to Insecurity</h3> <p>Because rejection once meant that our very existence became much less secure, our brains began to associate the experience of being rejected with feeling insecure. Security came from being part of the group, and death &mdash; the ultimate insecurity &mdash; came from being separated from them.</p> <p>Since being part of a group is so important to us, <a href="http://www.professional-counselling.com/dealing-with-rejection.html#.VCLvAC5dUlh">we tend to feel worthless when we experience rejection</a>. We feel like there's no way we can possibly survive, and so we begin to think our very existence does not mean much.</p> <h2>Getting Over It</h2> <p>Now that we have a basic understanding of why rejection hurts so much, it's time to start overcoming it.</p> <h3>1. Take Care of Yourself</h3> <p>When you're feeling worthless, it's easy to let self-care go out the window. What's the point, when you feel like you're going to die no matter what you do? But caring for yourself shows that you value who you are, even if other people don't. Start by caring for your body: eat well, sleep enough, and exercise on a regular schedule.</p> <h3>2. Choose Reality</h3> <p>While you may feel like you're going to die, you're not actually going to die. This rejection is one person's opinion of you at one particular moment in time. The person who rejected you might not even know you very well. Choose to believe what is real. This rejection is not an authoritative opinion on who you are or what you are worth. And choose this again and again, whenever you begin to dwell on the rejection.</p> <h3>3. Know That the Pain Will End</h3> <p>Rejection tends to feel like it's never going to end. You may feel like you will hurt forever, until you die or it kills you. The truth, though, is that you will not die. At some point, the pain will end. You will feel better. You will feel like life is worth living again. Just being able to tell yourself that truth can make the difference between getting stuck in your rejection and getting over it.</p> <h3>4. Let Yourself Grieve</h3> <p>When you get rejected, you'll have big feelings. These may feel scary or threatening, or be so unpleasant that you just want to forget all about them. However, you won't get past your rejection if you don't let yourself feel your feelings. You may go through the stages of grief. You may spend a lot of time feeling angry or depressed. Whatever you're feeling, spend some time with these feelings. Give them time to wash over and through you.</p> <h3>5. Share Your Feelings</h3> <p>Spend some time sharing your feelings with people you trust. This can help lessen your feelings of rejection, because you will remember that you are not entirely alone. One person may not have chosen you, but that doesn't mean that there isn't anyone who wants you around. Sharing your feelings can also help you process them and leave them behind, because other people can offer you insights and opinions that you might not have come to on your own.</p> <h3>6. Stop Obsessing</h3> <p>Post-rejection, it's easy to let yourself replay your interactions with the rejector over and over again. You might be looking for something you did wrong, or replaying a place in the conversation where you're pretty sure you made a misstep. Either way, replaying the scene over and over and over again is going to keep you tied to that moment, rather than allowing you to let it go and move on.</p> <h3>7. Counter Critical Thoughts</h3> <p>Most people blame themselves when they get rejected. &quot;If only I wasn't so&hellip; &quot; they think, over and over and over again. One way to get out of these self-critical thoughts is to counter them. For instance, after being rejected for a job, someone might think, &quot;If only I had taken that internship last summer instead of traveling.&quot; You can counter that thought with, &quot;No, I wouldn't have been happy at that internship, and I learned more traveling than I've ever learned working anywhere.&quot; This can help you become more objective about the rejection, realizing that it likely wasn't all your fault.</p> <h3>8. Avoid Getting Stuck</h3> <p>There's a balance between feeling your feelings and processing them and getting stuck in them. If you feel your grief turning into bitterness or an anger or depression that doesn't seem to lift, do whatever you need to do to get out of those feelings. Some people may simply need to choose to risk again. Others may need to talk to a counselor or take medication. All of these are legitimate ways to deal with a rejection that won't go away.</p> <h3>9. Learn the Lesson</h3> <p>There is a lesson in every rejection, and finding it can help you leave the rejection behind and move forward again. You may find your lesson in talking about your rejection, or in journaling about it, or even in thinking about what you would do if you found yourself in the same situation again. The lesson may be something that you want to do differently next time, but it can also be something like accepting that not everyone values the same things you do.</p> <h3>10. Consider Some Changes</h3> <p>Even if you did nothing wrong in the situation where your rejection happened, you may decide to make changes in how you handle similar situations in the future. For instance, you may choose to practice your interview before you go to one next time, or to not participate in online dating.</p> <h3>11. Get Back Out There</h3> <p>In the end, the only way to truly move beyond your rejection is to get back in the game. Apply for another job, meet a new friend, or ask someone else out on a date. You don't have to do this immediately, but it should be on your radar from the beginning. If you're nervous or finding it particularly hard to do this, think about small victories that might help you get your confidence back. You might try a mock interview with someone you know who does hiring, so you can get feedback, or you might take a friend on a date, to get comfortable with that whole scene again.</p> <p><em>When have you been rejected? What helped you get over it? Please share in comments!</em></p> <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/11-ways-to-get-over-rejection" class="sharethis-link" title="11 Ways to Get Over Rejection" rel="nofollow">ShareThis</a><br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">Written by <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/sarah-winfrey">Sarah Winfrey</a> and published on <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/">Wise Bread</a>. Read more <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/taxonomy/term/"> articles from Wise Bread</a>.</div></div> General Tips break-ups denied failure rejection relationships Fri, 17 Oct 2014 11:00:07 +0000 Sarah Winfrey 1236762 at http://www.wisebread.com 15 Savvy Tips for a Smoother Move http://www.wisebread.com/15-savvy-tips-for-a-smoother-move <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/15-savvy-tips-for-a-smoother-move" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://www.wisebread.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/couple-moving-boxes-453682599-small.jpg" alt="couple moving" title="couple moving" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="250" height="140" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p>Whether you're moving into the house of your dreams or simply to a new apartment across town, the process can be daunting. I've been there, recently, and I'm only now recovering from the exhaustion of it all. Along the way, I learned some of the major DOs and DON'Ts related to moving, and I'm going to share them with all of you! (See also: <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/how-to-ensure-you-get-the-home-loan-you-want?ref=seealso">How to Ensure You Get the Home Loan You Want</a>)</p> <h2>1. Simplify</h2> <p>Now's the time to go through your stuff and weed out the extras. Throw away any trash that might be lingering in your junk drawers. Give away anything you no longer use to friends or donate to a local charity (some will come and pick up your items from you!).</p> <p>A good place to start? Give your closet a long, hard look to see where you can pare down. Fewer things to move equals fewer headaches. (See also: <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/8-essential-pieces-for-your-capsule-wardrobe?ref=seealso">8 Essential Pieces for Your Capsule Wardrobe</a>)</p> <h2>2. Sell</h2> <p>What you don't trash or donate, you should consider selling in a yard sale. Check to see if your community organizes any neighborhood-wide sales, which can help with getting more traffic to your location. Otherwise, use sites like Craigslist or even local Facebook boards to unload your items and earn some cash to help with your moving expenses.</p> <h2>3. Make a List</h2> <p>Everyday life can get rather hectic when all your stuff starts piling up in boxes. So, prepare yourself by making a list of what you need to accomplish during your move. This list might include any appointments you have, bills that need to be paid, or other obligations. Also put a couple moving-related points on there like changing your address with USPS or ordering checks and other necessities with your new number on them. Hang your list on the refrigerator so it doesn't get lost in the shuffle.</p> <h2>4. Start Early</h2> <p>As soon as we knew we'd be moving, I started packing. I packed away everything nonessential and even slimmed down my wardrobe to 10 simple, mix and match pieces. By packing early, you eliminate a lot of mess and everyday cleaning that would otherwise need to happen on top of all the other things you're doing. Designate one room in your house or apartment for boxes if you can, and pile them tall. (See also: <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/10-cheap-ways-to-make-your-apartment-awesome-without-losing-your-deposit?ref=seealso">Cheap Ways to Make Your Apartment Awesome</a>)</p> <h2>5. Pack a Bag</h2> <p>Likewise, once you've determined what your essential items are, get a backpack or overnight bag out that you'll reserve for the move itself. You'll want these items handy when everything else in your life is in boxes. Our large suitcase contained a change of clothes, pajamas, personal care items, important documents, our laptop, and some other valuables.</p> <h2>6. Set Time Aside</h2> <p>I rather cavalierly thought we'd be able to pack our entire home in a couple hours each evening for a few days. Boy, was I wrong. Especially if you have children, it's important to set aside dedicated time for packing &mdash; preferably when your little one is being taken care of elsewhere. Not only is a half-packed home dangerous for young kids (lots of choking hazards hanging around), but it's also nearly impossible to finish everything you need to do. (See also: <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/this-is-why-your-projects-always-take-longer-than-you-expect?ref=seealso">This Is Why Your Projects Always Take Longer Than You Expect</a>)</p> <h2>7. Reserve</h2> <p>If you plan to rent a moving truck, reserve it as early as you have your move date. We learned the hard way that vans get scheduled quickly, and if you live in a smaller area &mdash; it can be hard, if not impossible, to find alternatives. Also be sure to check your local paper or the company's website for any deals they might be running. And read all the fine print before you sign on the dotted line.</p> <h2>8. Organize</h2> <p>When it comes to packing, don't toss everything in a box. Come up with an organization method that works for you. Maybe you pack all your office items in one box or all your dinnerware in another. Label the boxes clearly &mdash; including which boxes contain fragile items and even which box goes into what room &mdash; so when you arrive at your new digs, there's no guesswork involved.</p> <h2>9. Hunt Around</h2> <p>And speaking of boxes, don't immediately go out and buy brand new cardboard. Check grocery and big box stores for sizes big and small that will be recycled. We were able to get all the boxes we needed for our move with a few trips to a grocery store across town. Call ahead before making any big trips to see if the store offers its boxes to the public. Before you recycle them after the move, see if you can pay it forward to a friend.</p> <h2>10. Think Outside the Box</h2> <p>Better yet, pack what you can without the use of boxes. Suitcases can hold a good number of your clothes, tote bags can carry stuffed animals and other soft items, zip bags can house small items, and laundry bins are golden. You can even keep your clothes in the dresser drawers, just remove them while moving the dresser itself to lighten the load.</p> <h2>11. Repurpose</h2> <p>If you run out of packing material (bubble wrap, newspaper, etc.), use towels, socks, and even old plastic grocery bags to help cushion delicate items. You can use paper plates to cradle fragile china. I even used a couple pillows and big blankets to keep our television and other electronics safe from dings and dents during their travels.</p> <h2>12. Dig Deep</h2> <p>Reach into the far back of your pantries and freezers to use up any last bits of food you have hiding. It's best to keep fresh food purchases to a minimum in the week before your move to eliminate any waste that might occur in transit. Plus, there's nothing more gratifying than filling up your new refrigerator with a stock of fresh groceries.</p> <h2>13. Incentivize</h2> <p>For basic moves, you might need a few more hands. Invite your friends over and offer pizza and beer (or a quinoa bake and herbal tea &mdash; you get the idea) for their efforts. As much as moving is hard work, the whole thing is made much more pleasant when you spend the time with friends and family. And while you're at it, make sure that everything is ready to move when they arrive so no one is standing around awkwardly waiting.</p> <h2>14. Hire Help</h2> <p>For very large or tricky items (think pianos!), you might want to consider hiring movers. Did you know you don't need to contract them move all your stuff? Call and arrange for a quote for just the biggest, heaviest, and otherwise trickiest pieces of furniture. You may save yourself some money this way, as well as hold onto potential dollars you otherwise sink into medical bills or replacement items that are damaged by your amateur schlepping techniques.</p> <h2>15. Make Time</h2> <p>If it's at all possible, try to get some overlapping dates for your move. For example, explore the idea of pre-possession or post-possession if you're buying a home. Many lawyers don't love drafting up the extra paperwork involved, but we got pre-possession of our home for an extra two days and it made a huge difference. Just FYI: You'll need to arrange for insurance coverage and cover utilities during this time, among a few other considerations that your agent can help walk you through.</p> <p><em>What smart tips do you have for people on the move?</em></p> <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/15-savvy-tips-for-a-smoother-move" class="sharethis-link" title="15 Savvy Tips for a Smoother Move" rel="nofollow">ShareThis</a><br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">Written by <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/ashley-marcin">Ashley Marcin</a> and published on <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/">Wise Bread</a>. Read more <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/taxonomy/term/"> articles from Wise Bread</a>.</div></div> General Tips Home Shopping furniture moving new apartment new house packing Thu, 16 Oct 2014 15:00:03 +0000 Ashley Marcin 1235112 at http://www.wisebread.com How to Fix 18 Common Wardrobe Malfunctions http://www.wisebread.com/how-to-fix-18-common-wardrobe-malfunctions <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/how-to-fix-18-common-wardrobe-malfunctions" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://www.wisebread.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/shoe-polish-144880382-small.jpg" alt="shoe polish" title="shoe polish" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="250" height="140" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p>It happens to me all the time. I've got an important meeting and suddenly my hem falls out or a button falls off in the worst possible place. It's no Super Bowl 2004, but it's still embarrassing and frustrating. (See also: <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/make-your-clothing-fit-perfectly-with-these-10-no-sew-fixes?ref=seealso">Make Your Clothing Fit Perfectly With These 10 No-Sew Fixes</a>)</p> <p>But fear not, because we've got some life-saving (or at least, blouse-saving) tips and tricks when you're in a last minute bind before an important meeting or a potential date.</p> <h2>Zippers</h2> <p>Few things are worse than having a zipper go wrong miles from home.</p> <h3>1. Paper Clip It</h3> <p>If you've pulled off a zipper pulling on your jacket, use a paper clip or key ring as a temporary fix. It might not look amazing, but it'll get the job done until you can get a more permanent solution.</p> <h3>2. Glue It</h3> <p>According to <a href="http://shannonmakesstuff.blogspot.com/2012/03/fixing-broken-zipper-without-replacing.html">Shannon Makes Stuff</a>, you can fix broken zipper teeth with hot glue and a little patience. These are untested waters for me, but if you have this problem, it's worth a shot!</p> <h3>3. Unstick It With Graphite</h3> <p>If you've ever gotten stuck in a jacket, you know how frustrating it can be. Find a graphite pencil and rub it on the teeth of the zipper. If this doesn't work, grab some lubricant &mdash; windex, bar soap, or lip balm. And most importantly: be patient and slow. The more frustrated you get, the more the zipper becomes a Chinese finger trap and you're stuck in there forever.</p> <h2>Stains</h2> <p>You need to act fast to keep a stain from holding fast if you want to save a favorite piece from losing its place in your wardrobe.</p> <h3>4. Carry a Stain Remover</h3> <p>Yes, it's obvious, but purchase <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0037KMI0K/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=390957&amp;creativeASIN=B0037KMI0K&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;tag=wisbre03-20&amp;linkId=SGJQCLVV7AHHXUHP">Tide To Go</a> or <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0000DIWIK/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=390957&amp;creativeASIN=B0000DIWIK&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;tag=wisbre03-20&amp;linkId=5OL3UJADGIA6MDZE">Shout Wipe &amp; Go</a> and keep them in your bag, desk drawer, or car. You never know when you might need them, and they're worth having just in case.</p> <h3>5. Sprinkle Baby Powder to Remove Oil</h3> <p>If you've ever had oily spots, baby powder is great for removal of oil, wine, or makeup stains. Sprinkle some on and take a white cloth to remove.</p> <h3>6. Use Baby Wipes on Deodorant Stains</h3> <p>If you have deodorant stains at random times and ALWAYS when you're running late, grab some baby wipes. They'll get the stains off and they won't come back after the spot dries.</p> <h2>Hems</h2> <p>Hems come undone from time to time, but you can fix them on the go quickly and easily.</p> <h3>7. Fix It With Double-Sided Tape</h3> <p>If you're in the office, ask around for some double-sided tape to quickly fix your pants. I've also used packing tape when I was out of options.</p> <h3>8. Try Stitch Witchery</h3> <p><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0001DSIHI/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=390957&amp;creativeASIN=B0001DSIHI&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;tag=wisbre03-20&amp;linkId=4J2B5C6LG7UHCGZD">Stitch Witchery</a> has saved my day more than once. Once you put the tape around and fold up, grab an iron (or flat iron if you don't have an iron around), press the hem and you're good to go! Stitch Witchery is washable and dry cleanable.</p> <h3>9. Safety Pin It</h3> <p>You can also use a few safety pins to put your hem back together. These also work for pretty much every other problem.</p> <h3>10. Sew It Yourself &mdash; It's Easy!</h3> <p>Last option, <a href="http://www.wikihow.com/Hand-Sew-a-Hem">sew it yourself</a>.</p> <h2>Buttons</h2> <p>Maybe the best way to replace a button is to keep it from falling off in the first place.</p> <h3>11. Secure With Clear Nail Polish</h3> <p>To prevent buttons from falling off, use clear nail polish to help secure them. This will keep the thread from unraveling.</p> <h3>12. Sew It Back On</h3> <p>If you have a sewing kit handy (or someone in your office does), follow <a href="http://www.instructables.com/id/How-to-sew-on-a-button/">this guide</a> to sew on a button.</p> <h3>13. Twist Tie It Back On</h3> <p>You can also use a twist tie to temporarily attach a button back on. <a href="http://howto.menshealth.com/fix-popped-button-hurry">Men's Health</a> has a step-by-step guide that shows you how to quickly and effectively put the button back on.</p> <h2>Shoes</h2> <p>Don't let scuff marks on your shoes spoil a great outfit.</p> <h3>14. Polish With Improvisation</h3> <p>If your shoes are scuffed up, but you don't have any polish handy, you can always use bananas or vaseline to remove the scuffs. Use the inside of the banana peel, and then wipe with a paper towel.</p> <h3>15. Remove Odor With Rubbing Alcohol</h3> <p>If your shoes are stinking up the office, grab some rubbing alcohol wipes from the first aid kit and wipe down your feet and in the inside of your shoes. For a more permanent fix, use your washer and dryer, a machine deodorizer, and new insoles.</p> <h2>Static Cling</h2> <p>When the weather gets dry and windy, our clothes get close and clingy!</p> <h3>16. De-Ionize With a Wire Hanger</h3> <p>Static cling can be a nightmare, but luckily someone still makes wire hangers out there somewhere. Just use the wire hanger and rub it on the material causing the cling. If you've thrown away all your wire hangers like your mother always taught you, use hairspray or another metal object, such as a thimble.</p> <h3>17. Deploy Static Prevention Devices During the Wash</h3> <p>To prevent the cling from happening, ball up tinfoil in the washer (but not the dryer!), use fabric softener, or a dryer sheet. They can all reduce static cling.</p> <h3>18. Stick Your Skirt Down With Moisturizer</h3> <p>If static cling is causing your skirt to ride up, dab some moisturizer on your legs and it'll solve it right away.</p> <p><em>What are your solutions to these &mdash; or other &mdash; common clothing problems?</em></p> <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/how-to-fix-18-common-wardrobe-malfunctions" class="sharethis-link" title="How to Fix 18 Common Wardrobe Malfunctions" rel="nofollow">ShareThis</a><br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">Written by <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/jennifer-holder">Jennifer Holder</a> and published on <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/">Wise Bread</a>. Read more <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/taxonomy/term/"> articles from Wise Bread</a>.</div></div> General Tips Style clothes clothing clothing fixes fashion quick fixes sewing Thu, 16 Oct 2014 11:00:05 +0000 Jennifer Holder 1235390 at http://www.wisebread.com Masters of Small Talk Never Do These 10 Things — Do You? http://www.wisebread.com/masters-of-small-talk-never-do-these-10-things-do-you <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/masters-of-small-talk-never-do-these-10-things-do-you" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://www.wisebread.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/business-group-talking-160613541-small.jpg" alt="business people talking" title="business people talking" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="250" height="140" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p>Have you been in the situation of needing to make conversation with people you did not know well? Weddings, cocktail parties, and business conferences can be anxiety-provoking if you don't know how to make small talk. Although you may dread it, though, small talk can be a great thing. Chatting can make simple exchanges more pleasant; it can also start the beginning of a great conversation or even friendship. (See also: <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/10-fun-practically-free-ways-to-make-new-friends?ref=seealso">10 Fun, Practically Free Ways to Make New Friends</a>)</p> <p>It is estimated that between 7% and 13% of humans suffer from <a href="http://www.anxietybc.com/resources/social.php">social anxiety</a>. What is there to talk about? What should you never bring up? What subjects are safe? Well to start, below are 10 things that small-talk masters know never to do.</p> <h2>1. They Don't Assume They Are Alone in Their Anxiety</h2> <p>It may seem like everyone in the room knows each other, but that's unlikely. I guarantee there are other people there who are as anxious as you are about social situations. Take a deep breath, square your shoulders, and smile. Take a moment to survey the situation and see if maybe there is somebody there that you do know. If not, no need for panic. It's just an event, and it will pass.</p> <p>My trick is to anticipate the worst and let the dread &quot;in;'&quot; nearly all the time, I end up enjoying myself.</p> <h2>2. They Never Forget to Introduce Themselves</h2> <p>Even if I do know someone at an event or party, I do not depend on them to introduce me to others. They may have forgotten my name, or how they know me, or whatever. Don't barge in on people in deep conversations, but if you see an opening, simply walk up and say, &quot;Hi! I'm Jane Smith&quot; and extend your hand for a handshake. If there are other people in the group, repeat the process.</p> <p>How to remember names? Repeat the name (&quot;Hi, Tom, it's really nice to meet you.&quot;). You might try a little trick to remember the name, like a song, or a nursery rhyme, that makes a word association for you. Once introductions are made, people will usually ask where you work, or how you know the bride or groom, or birthday person, or where you're from. The ball is then rolling.</p> <h2>3. They Never Forget to Introduce Someone Else</h2> <p>My friend Sylvia, a seasoned networker, makes the best introductions. They usually go something like this: &quot;Everyone, I would like you to meet John Smith. John has this awesome travel website and he is my travel guru! He also makes the world's best homemade bread.&quot; In her introduction, she gives people clues about things to ask John. She has also given him several compliments, which strengthens his self-confidence and make him smile.</p> <h2>4. They Never Have Bad Body Language</h2> <p>People are receptive to good body language. Take note of your posture, first of all. Are you slumping? Stand up straight. What are you doing with your hands? Do not cross your arms &mdash; that is defensive posture. Holding your hands together in front of you, or behind your back, are both &quot;open&quot; gestures. It may help you to have a drink to hold, if you are nervous. Try not to hold it in the hand you shake with, though, or you'll be shaking hands with a cold hand. Make eye contact, but don't stare. Engage. Smile. Listen. The world is full of talkers, but a good listener is hard to find. Nod your head, and ask the occasional question. Don't keep checking your cell phone. If you get a call, excuse yourself politely and take it.</p> <h2>5. They Never Discuss Religion</h2> <p>This was one of my mom's rules, and will serve you well. While it can be a very interesting subject, it is not a &quot;safe&quot; one in that you might easily offend someone you do not know well.</p> <h2>6. They Almost Never Discuss Politics</h2> <p>Another &quot;mom&quot; rule, and a harder one to avoid. But do, because this topic gets heated, quickly. This rule can go out the window if you are at a political fundraiser, because you are likely on the same page the other people, of course. Just tread carefully.</p> <h2>7. They Never Forget How to Use Openers</h2> <p>People who are good at small talk, I have noticed, are really good at asking questions, or &quot;openers.&quot; Use the information you glean from your first question to ask more questions.For instance, &quot;So when you went to Portland, did you go to Jake's Seafood?&quot; Or, &quot;What a beautiful scarf! Where did you buy it?&quot;</p> <p>Hopefully, the person you are conversing with will in turn ask you questions, which will keep the small talk going. Sometimes, the person you are trying to chat up is really reticent. Here is a trick: &quot;So before this event, what did you do, today?&quot; There is almost always some usable material in that response.</p> <h2>8. They Don't Forget to Expand the Circle</h2> <p>So, if a few moments ago, you were the &quot;odd man out,&quot; be aware of people who may be hovering and want to join in, too. Make eye contact, extend your arm for a handshake, and introduce yourself (and the others, if you can remember their names). After introductions, you may need to backtrack (&quot;We were just talking about where the best breweries are in this town&quot;) and give the newbie a chance to get involved. They will be grateful to you for your help.</p> <p>Also, in the world of small talk, It's bad form to stay and talk shop with one person the whole time. If someone is monopolizing you, it is perfectly fine to say something like, &quot;Well, Ben, my wife will shoot me if I don't get over there and visit with her great-aunt for a while. Good to see you.&quot;</p> <h2>9. They Don't Go Into Small Talk Unprepared</h2> <p>Unless you are having pretty dramatic weather, I wouldn't lead with that. For a conference or company event, do some homework and have some relevant topics ready to bring up. Movies, television shows, current events, or hobbies are usually safe and interesting for cocktail parties. Ask for activity or restaurant recommendations, if you are from out of town. Read the local paper, watch the local news. Just gather up a few possible subjects for your arsenal.</p> <h2>10. They Don't Make a Poor Exit</h2> <p>This is easier to do if you are in a little group, when you simply say, &quot;Excuse me, I need to go say hello to my regional VP.&quot; Or, &quot;Hey, I am going to go get a fresh cocktail.&quot; If it is just you and another person, when there is a graceful lull in the conversation, something like, &quot;John, it has been great talking to you and I enjoyed meeting you. I hope we can stay in touch.&quot; Shake hands again, and go. If you are in a business setting, you might give one of your cards.</p> <p><em>So, tell us: How do you handle small talk?</em></p> <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/masters-of-small-talk-never-do-these-10-things-do-you" class="sharethis-link" title="Masters of Small Talk Never Do These 10 Things — Do You?" rel="nofollow">ShareThis</a><br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">Written by <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/marla-walters">Marla Walters</a> and published on <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/">Wise Bread</a>. Read more <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/taxonomy/term/"> articles from Wise Bread</a>.</div></div> General Tips Personal Development conversation etiquette networking Wed, 15 Oct 2014 21:00:06 +0000 Marla Walters 1235111 at http://www.wisebread.com 6 Signs That You're Sleep Deprived http://www.wisebread.com/6-signs-that-youre-sleep-deprived <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/6-signs-that-youre-sleep-deprived" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://www.wisebread.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/tired-businesswoman-178042724-small.jpg" alt="tired businesswoman" title="tired businesswoman" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="250" height="140" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p>Yawns, irritability, lack of oomph. These are the tell-tale signs of sleep deprivation we're all familiar with. But studies show a shortage of slumber can have far greater &mdash; and stranger &mdash; consequences on our bodies and minds. (See also: <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/8-hours-9-hours-this-is-how-much-sleep-you-really-need?ref=seealso">8 Hours? 9 Hours? This Is How Much Sleep You REALLY Need</a>)</p> <p>Read on for our roundup of some of the less-than-obvious repercussions of sleep loss.</p> <h2>1. You've Got a Shortened Attention Span</h2> <p>A shortened attention span can result directly from sleep deprivation. Now for the scary part: It can also be irreversible. Leading researchers this year found <a href="http://www.uphs.upenn.edu/news/News_Releases/2014/03/veasey/">evidence of brain damage in people suffering from chronic sleep loss</a>.</p> <p>&quot;In general, we've always assumed full recovery of cognition following short- and long-term sleep loss,&quot; said Sigrid Veasey, the lead researcher behind the study. &quot;But some of the research in humans has shown that attention span and several other aspects of cognition may not normalize even with three days of recovery sleep, raising the question of lasting injury in the brain.&quot;</p> <h2>2. You've Got High Blood Pressure</h2> <p>A single night of inadequate sleep in people suffering from existing hypertension can trigger elevated blood pressure. Researchers believe this may explain <a href="http://healthysleep.med.harvard.edu/healthy/matters/consequences/sleep-and-disease-risk">the correlation between sleep deprivation and cardiovascular disease and stroke</a>.</p> <h2>3. You're Gaining Weight</h2> <p>Poor sleep is now considered a risk factor for obesity, right up there with overeating and lack of exercise. Studies show that people who sleep less than six hours per night are much more likely to have a higher than average body mass index. People who habitually sleep eight hours or more have the lowest BMI.</p> <p>The bodies of people who are sleep deprived also tend to secrete greater amounts of insulin following a meal. Insulin promotes fat storage, and higher levels of insulin are associated with weight gain, which is a risk factor for diabetes.</p> <h2>4. You're Making Mistakes Left and Right</h2> <p>Sleep deprivation can impair job performance &mdash; and the consequences can be mammoth. Investigators have determined that <a href="http://healthysleep.med.harvard.edu/healthy/matters/consequences/sleep-performance-and-public-safety">sleep deprivation played a role in the explosion of the space shuttle Challenger</a>, the Exxon Valdez oil spill, and the nuclear disasters at Three Mile Island and Chernobyl.</p> <p>Sleep loss is also the culprit behind an untold number of medical errors in hospitals. More than a million injuries and up to 100,000 deaths each year result from preventable medical errors, and many of these may be caused by insufficient sleep, according to Institutes of Medicine.</p> <h2>5. You've Been In a Car Crash &mdash; And It Was Your Fault</h2> <p>A National Sleep Foundation survey found that 60% of adult drivers &mdash; about 168 million people &mdash; have been drowsy at the wheel in the past year, and that more than 100 million people have actually dozed off while strapped in the driver's seat. Another estimate by the Institute of Medicine points to drowsy driving as the cause of 20% of all motor vehicle crashes. That would mean that poor sleep causes approximately 1 million crashes, 500,000 injuries, and 8,000 deaths each year in the U.S.</p> <h2>6. You're Feeling Depressed</h2> <p>Lack of sleep may trigger depression &mdash; especially in teens. <a href="http://www.npr.org/blogs/health/2014/02/06/272441146/less-sleep-more-time-online-amp-up-teen-depression-risk">Teenagers who don't get enough sleep</a> are four times as likely to develop major depressive disorder as their peers who sleep more, according to research from the University of Texas Health Science Center in Houston.</p> <p>Ironically, sleep deprivation is also being studied as a <a href="http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/why-sleep-deprivation-eases-depression/">treatment for depression</a>, the very mental ailment it's known to cause. Research shows that sleep deprivation is successful up to 70% of the time when used as a method to boost the mood of a person who's feeling depressed. But here's the kicker: It only lasts until the person falls asleep.</p> <p><em>Can't get a good night's sleep? What are you doing to sleep more? Please share in comments!</em></p> <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/6-signs-that-youre-sleep-deprived" class="sharethis-link" title="6 Signs That You&#039;re Sleep Deprived" rel="nofollow">ShareThis</a><br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">Written by <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/brittany-lyte">Brittany Lyte</a> and published on <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/">Wise Bread</a>. Read more <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/taxonomy/term/"> articles from Wise Bread</a>.</div></div> General Tips fitness insomnia lack of sleep sleep sleepiness Wed, 15 Oct 2014 11:00:04 +0000 Brittany Lyte 1235109 at http://www.wisebread.com 12 Tricks That Make You Look Skinnier (Without Being Skinner) http://www.wisebread.com/12-tricks-that-make-you-look-skinnier-without-being-skinner <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/12-tricks-that-make-you-look-skinnier-without-being-skinner" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://www.wisebread.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/woman-mirror-shopping-163217849-small.jpg" alt="shopping mirror" title="shopping mirror" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="250" height="140" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p>Everyone has days when they feel fat, bloated, and otherwise less-than-beautiful. Sometimes it has nothing to do with the numbers on the scale. On other occasions it's the direct result of a recent holiday cookie binge. (See also: <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/7-style-secrets-for-women-that-flatter-every-shape?ref=seealso">7 Style Secrets for Women That Flatter every Shape</a>)</p> <p>Fortunately, there quite a number of tricks discovered and perfected by the fashion industry to give your body an instant slim-down without all the dieting, sweating, and weigh-ins. Read on for our round-up of the easiest ways to look trim &mdash; even when you're feeling anything but.</p> <h2>1. Wear Horizontal Stripes</h2> <p>Contrary to popular belief, it's horizontal stripes &mdash; not vertical ones &mdash; that <a href="http://i-perception.perceptionweb.com/journal/I/article/i0405">make a person appear thinner than they are</a>, according to new research by a British psychologist. For the most slimming look, go for white garments with narrow, black horizontal stripes. As for those vertical stripes you thought had a slimming effect, this piece of research found that verticals actually make you look more bloated.</p> <h2>2. Grow Your Hair Out</h2> <p>Long hair elongates the face and neck, creating the illusion of a longer, leaner body.</p> <h2>3. Get Some Sun</h2> <p>There's nothing like a sunkissed glow to make the body appear more slender. For a safer alternative, opt for a spray tan or a contour tan, which uses shadows and coloring to <a href="http://nymag.com/thecut/2013/03/can-spray-tanning-give-me-gwyneth-paltrow-abs.html">create faux features like ab muscles</a> and high cheekbones.</p> <h2>4. Wear Body-Hugging Clothing</h2> <p>A major misconception about dressing for a fuller figure is that baggy clothing hides a person's extra weight. On the contrary, loose clothing makes a person look larger, fashion experts say. Rather, it's form-fitting clothing paired with flowy layers like a sweater or scarf that creates a more slimming silhouette.</p> <h2>5. Tease Your Hair</h2> <p>Don't be afraid to channel your inner Diana Ross. Big hair creates the illusion of a narrower (read: more slender) face.</p> <h2>6. Accentuate Your Waist</h2> <p>Use a belt, shirt tuck, or ruching to draw all eyes and attention to the narrowest part of your torso. This timeless trick will keep focus away from any sags or bulges.</p> <h2>7. Wear Heels</h2> <p>The taller you are, the skinnier you appear. So don't be afraid to add a little extra height. If you're clumsy on your feet, opt for a platform or wedge heel rather than the more precarious stiletto. Men, too, can get an extra boost from a pair of boots with a large sole or dress shoes with a small heel.</p> <h2>8. Wear Dark Bootcut Pants</h2> <p>Bootcut pants that are black, navy, or a deep shade of indigo have a slimming effect on the abdomen, pelvis, and rear end. The bootcut style in particular makes the legs look longer and therefore more trim.</p> <h2>9. Embrace Shapewear</h2> <p>Undergarments that smooth, shape, and tuck away folds, rolls, and bloat can be the confidence boost you need to really strut your stuff. Women can achieve a trimmer waistline using products like <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000CODK4M/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=390957&amp;creativeASIN=B000CODK4M&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;tag=wisbre03-20&amp;linkId=KZFOXQ4EAA327KLT">the mid-thigh shaper</a> or <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0037WYFWC/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=390957&amp;creativeASIN=B0037WYFWC&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;tag=wisbre03-20&amp;linkId=NZYVNSWPRVWVTSFQ">the open-bust camisole</a> by SPANX. For the boys, try <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B004R9670M/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=390957&amp;creativeASIN=B004R9670M&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;tag=wisbre03-20&amp;linkId=6T4XIIJQGYXTF3JT">the crew neck body shaper</a> by 2(x)ist or <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00BFE9B00/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=390957&amp;creativeASIN=B00BFE9B00&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;tag=wisbre03-20&amp;linkId=PJ45QXNYLMSCIZCX">the long leg brief girdle</a> by Underworks.</p> <h2>10. Accessorize With a Super-Long Necklace</h2> <p>A long necklace directs the eye away from the often problematic hips and mid-section. It also lengthens the entire frame, giving the illusion of a trimmer body.</p> <h2>11. Choose Your Fabrics Wisely</h2> <p>For a svelte look, spandex, jersey, cashmere, and fine cotton are your go-to fabrics because they help shape the contours of the body. But steer clear from corduroy, crushed velvet, metallic, leather, sequin-adorned materials, and suede. These heavily textured fabrics will add pounds as well as pizzazz to your look.</p> <h2>12. Opt For a V-Neck</h2> <p>All hail the V-neck &mdash; a simple neckline that works effortlessly to slim down the frame by creating the illusion of height. It's the most flattering neckline out there and it does the trick every time.</p> <p><em>What are your favorite shape-shifting and slimming tricks? Please share in comments!</em></p> <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/12-tricks-that-make-you-look-skinnier-without-being-skinner" class="sharethis-link" title="12 Tricks That Make You Look Skinnier (Without Being Skinner)" rel="nofollow">ShareThis</a><br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">Written by <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/brittany-lyte">Brittany Lyte</a> and published on <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/">Wise Bread</a>. Read more <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/taxonomy/term/"> articles from Wise Bread</a>.</div></div> General Tips Style appearance clothing fashion slimming Tue, 14 Oct 2014 11:00:07 +0000 Brittany Lyte 1233185 at http://www.wisebread.com People Who Love Expanding Their Minds Do These 13 Things — Do You? http://www.wisebread.com/people-who-love-expanding-their-minds-do-these-13-things-do-you <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/people-who-love-expanding-their-minds-do-these-13-things-do-you" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://www.wisebread.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/puzzle-cube-86511536-small.jpg" alt="puzzle cube" title="puzzle cube" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="250" height="140" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p>There are those out there who refuse to let their brain get into a rut. The intellectually stimulated, the cranially curious, the people who love expanding their minds. (See also: <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/13-easy-ways-to-improve-your-brain?ref=seealso">13 Easy Ways to Improve Your Brain</a>)</p> <p>Are you one of them? If so, you just may engage in one or more of these 13 pursuits on a daily basis.</p> <h2>1. Doing Puzzles</h2> <p>Whatever their favorite sort of puzzle, whether it's a jigsaw puzzle, Sudoku, a crossword, or a logic game, people who love expanding their minds know that <a href="http://www.daisybrains.com/blog/brain-teasers/more-please-why-our-brains-cant-seem-to-get-enough-of-brain-teasers-and-logic-puzzles/">it's good for your brain</a>. You'll learn to concentrate better, have overall higher brain activity, remember better, and have improved sleep. Puzzles can also be quite a lot of fun, so solving them won't feel like work. Instead, you'll be helping your mind and having fun at the same time.</p> <h2>2. Writing by Hand</h2> <p>If you value expanding your mind, chances are you value having a lot of creative ideas and being able to communicate them to others. As it turns out, people who write out their thoughts and ideas on an actual piece of paper, not a computer screen, <a href="http://www.rd.com/advice/parenting/why-handwriting-makes-you-smarter/">have more active minds and express more ideas</a> than people who only type. Try writing by hand for a few minutes every day, and see what changes you notice.</p> <h2>3. Learning Math</h2> <p>Math may not be your favorite, but people who want to expand their minds know that if you want your brain to fluidly process letters and numbers and to have greater facility in your first language and others, you should <a href="http://healthland.time.com/2013/04/23/your-brain-on-math/">spend some time studying math</a>. It turns out that the areas of your brain that understand mathematical concepts and process numbers are related to the areas that do these other things, too. (See also: <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/11-useful-genius-math-tricks-that-are-actually-easy?ref=seealso">11 Genius Math Tricks That Are Actually Easy</a>)</p> <h2>4. Exercising</h2> <p>Exercise doesn't just make us happier, it makes our brains work better. People who love expanding their minds know that they are better at <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/belle-beth-cooper/10-surprising-things-that-benefit-our-brains_b_4275770.html">focusing, solving problems, and even reasoning after they have exercised</a>. While it can take a lot of energy to get off the couch and out the door, even a quick walk boosts the brain's overall performance.</p> <h2>5. Studying a New Language</h2> <p>Learning a new language literally <a href="http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2012/10/121008082953.htm">makes your brain grow</a>. Sure, language learning can be hard work. But it's so good for your brain, and it helps your mind learn to make new connections, too, so fans of expanding the mind will put in the effort.</p> <p>When your brain makes new connections you will become more creative, and you'll be able to communicate with a greater portion of the world. You can even study online, with <a href="https://www.duolingo.com/">Duolingo</a> and <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/you-can-learn-a-new-language-just-use-one-of-these-3-apps">other resources</a>. There's not much more fun than taking a trip to a place where you know the language because you've studied hard. Maybe you can set a vacation as a goal after all your study!</p> <h2>6. Reading Novels</h2> <p>Reading a novel seems to raise the connectivity in your brain and cause other positive neurological changes <a href="http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/brain-function-boosted-for-days-after-reading-a-novel-9028302.html">for up to five days after you finish</a> your book. Anyone who loves expanding their mind could tell you that if you'd like your brain to work smoother and more efficiently, pick up your favorite page-turner. You don't have to read a classic work or anything like that. In fact, it seems like the important factor is that the book is written well enough that you feel you're in the main character's place.</p> <h2>7. Practicing Meditation</h2> <p>Meditation can help <a href="http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-12793/how-meditation-changes-your-brain-a-neuroscientist-explains.html">enhance your brain function</a> in areas that tie to learning, memory, taking different perspectives, regulating your emotions, and more. People who want to expand their minds know that, if you want your mind to work better, it's worthwhile to learn meditation.</p> <p>It's easy to be intimidated by the prospect of meditating. We tend to think that it is something that gurus do, or only enlightened people. Fortunately, it doesn't have to be hard at all. There are many <a href="http://tinybuddha.com/blog/8-ways-to-make-meditation-easy-and-fun/">easy ways to incorporate meditation</a> into your busy daily life.</p> <h2>8. Playing Board Games</h2> <p>People who grow their minds often play board games. <a href="http://examinedexistence.com/can-playing-games-make-you-smarter/">Different games have different benefits</a>, but overall you can improve your linguistic intelligence, improve your math and reasoning skills, improve how you negotiate and work with people, and improve your critical thinking. Try a lot of different games, and you could greatly improve your brain's capacity to work on a lot of different levels.</p> <h2>9. Listening to Music</h2> <p>Listening to music has <a href="http://greatist.com/happiness/unexpected-health-benefits-music">all sorts of benefits</a>, but notable among these is that it improves cognitive functioning, eases stress, and helps you perform better in difficult situations. And people who want better functioning brains know that it's easy, too &mdash; just play music from your phone in the car or carry headphones if you commute by transit.</p> <p>Expand your mind even more by listening to music that isn't familiar to you. Do this with someone who loves the music and understands it, so you can ask questions about what you're hearing and have them help you understand it. This will help you in taking on new and different perspectives, too.</p> <h2>10. Reading Poetry</h2> <p>Poetry can be intimidating. It only takes one bad memory from high school English class to put you off it for a long, long time. However, people who want better brains make the effort anyway, because <a href="http://blogs.hbr.org/2012/11/the-benefits-of-poetry-for-pro/">reading poems expands your mind</a> in some interesting and important ways. To understand most poems, you have to be able to look at things as both simple and complex. It also enhances the parts of your brain that think empathically, and help you become more creative, because it teaches you how to make connections between seemingly unrelated things.</p> <h2>11. Overcoming Fears</h2> <p>When you're afraid of something, you shut yourself off to that thing and anything that might lead to it or spring from it. For instance, if you're afraid of flying, it's easy to become shut off from travel and everything you can learn by doing that. You never get to experience new cultures, new foods, or the different perspectives that people in other cultures have. When you overcome your fears, you open yourself not only to the thing you're afraid of, but to everything that comes with that, too.</p> <p>Overcoming fears can be hard work, especially if they are deeply entrenched, but people who love expanding their minds love the benefits they reap when they make the effort. It will help you to <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/9-techniques-that-can-help-you-conquer-any-fear">identify what you're afraid of</a> and where that fear comes from. However, you may need to work with a therapist to overcome particularly difficult fears.</p> <h2>12. Mind Mapping&hellip; Anything</h2> <p>When you make a mind map, you're giving your mind free range, at least within certain parameters. A mind map is basically a way of organizing information visually. You put your main idea in the center, then draw lines to show how it connects to other ideas. This can be as complicated of as simple as it needs to be to help you think.</p> <p>It can also help you see the connections between different ideas, and possibly between things that you might never have connected otherwise. Proponents of mind mapping for brain expansion say that <a href="http://www.edudemic.com/benefits-of-mind-mapping/">it helps them</a> understand their problems and solutions, organize their thoughts, make these new connections, and communicate with other people.</p> <h2>13. Getting Some Sleep</h2> <p>People who love expanding their minds know that getting plenty of sleep cannot possibly be overrated. They may not always want to go to bed on time, but they know one simple fact: when you sleep, <a href="http://www.helpguide.org/life/improving_memory.htm">your mind works better</a>. You learn better and recall what you've learned faster and easier. In fact, you may not be able to expand your mind in the other ways mentioned on this list if you're not getting enough sleep.</p> <p>While <a href="http://sleepfoundation.org/how-sleep-works/how-much-sleep-do-we-really-need">there's not a magic number</a> of hours of sleep that will work for everyone, it's good to aim for 7-9 hours every night. Use some trial and error and commit to figuring out what works for you, and your brain will be better off.</p> <p><em>How do you expand your mind? How do you fit it into your busy schedule?</em></p> <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/people-who-love-expanding-their-minds-do-these-13-things-do-you" class="sharethis-link" title="People Who Love Expanding Their Minds Do These 13 Things — Do You?" rel="nofollow">ShareThis</a><br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">Written by <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/sarah-winfrey">Sarah Winfrey</a> and published on <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/">Wise Bread</a>. Read more <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/taxonomy/term/"> articles from Wise Bread</a>.</div></div> General Tips Personal Development brains intelligence learning smarts Mon, 13 Oct 2014 11:00:07 +0000 Sarah Winfrey 1231186 at http://www.wisebread.com 9 Things People With Good Phone Skills Never Do http://www.wisebread.com/9-things-people-with-good-phone-skills-never-do <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/9-things-people-with-good-phone-skills-never-do" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://www.wisebread.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/man-phone-conversation-466941591-small.jpg" alt="man phone conversation" title="man phone conversation" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="250" height="140" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p>You may be the king or queen of good manners, but what about your phone etiquette? The person you're speaking with may not bring annoying behavior to your attention, so it's important that you know the difference between proper and poor phone skills. (See also: <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/12-things-people-with-good-communication-skills-never-do?ref=seealso">12 Things People With Good Communication Skills Never Do</a>)</p> <p>Here's a list of nine things people with good phone skills never do.</p> <h2>1. They Don't Interrupt</h2> <p>You wouldn't dare interrupt a person when speaking face-to-face, so why would you interrupt a person on the other end of a phone conversation? Conversations with relatives and close acquaintances tend to be more casual, but this isn't license to jump in. It doesn't matter if you're busy, overly excited, or simply want the conversation to move faster, interrupting is rude and appears as if you don't respect or appreciate the other person's viewpoint or feelings.</p> <h2>2. They Don't Immediately Jump Into Conversations</h2> <p>If you're the caller and the other person says, &quot;hello,&quot; don't jump straight into the conversation without identifying yourself. Never assume the person on the other end recognizes your voice. And even if they do, it doesn't take much effort to say a brief greeting and ask about their day.</p> <h2>3. They Don't Blindside With the Speakerphone</h2> <p>Phones have a speaker option for a reason. If you're driving, it's easier to carry a phone conversation when the person's on speaker, and speakerphone comes in handy when your hands are tied up at other times. However, if you're going to use speaker, notify the person on the other end of the call &mdash; especially when others are in earshot of the conversation. If not, the person you're speaking with might say something he doesn't want others to hear.</p> <h2>4. They Don't Multitask While on the Phone</h2> <p>Whether it's a restaurant or a bank, never conduct business while talking on the telephone. This is rude to the person on the line, and to the person trying to provide services. Both need your undivided attention, and when you attempt to speak to two people at the same time, your listeners will have a difficult time following the conversation. They won't know whether a comment is meant for them or the other person.</p> <p>This rule of thumb also applies to phone conversations at home. Sometimes, you might have to pause a phone conversation to speak with your kids or spouse, but don't make this a habit. The person on the other end doesn't want to hear you fussing or conversing with your kids between every other word.</p> <h2>5. They Don't Continue Calls After Meeting Someone</h2> <p>When you're meeting up with someone, you may talk on your phone to occupy time until your friend arrives. However, when they do arrive, it's common courtesy to end the phone conversation. There's nothing more annoying than meeting up with someone for lunch, and then having to sit quietly 10 or 15 minutes as the other person rudely talks on the phone.</p> <h2>6. They Don't Leave Friends Hanging</h2> <p>It isn't only rude to continue a conversation after meeting up with someone; it's also rude to accept a call and engage in a long conversation when you're already with someone. There are times when you may need to take an important phone call. In this case, apologize in advance and step aside to take the call &mdash; but keep it brief and return as soon as possible. Don't step away for several minutes and leave your friend hanging. If you believe a phone conversation will take longer than a couple of minutes, return the call later.</p> <h2>7. They Don't Forget the Phone Volume</h2> <p>Your speakerphone might be off, but if the phone's volume is turned up, people nearby might be able to hear the person on the other end of the phone. On several occasions I've sat besides someone on their cell phone and heard everything the other person said. To keep your private conversations private, turn down the speaker volume before starting your conversation.</p> <h2>8. They Don't Talk at Inappropriate Times</h2> <p>Cell phones let us communicate with people anytime, anyplace, but there are times when using a phone is inappropriate. People with good phone skills never yank out their phones at the movies, church, or any other place that requires silence. If there's an emergency and you have to take a phone call, step into the lobby or outside.</p> <h2>9. They Don't Talk on the Phone While Eating</h2> <p>We all multitask; and sometimes, we have to take care of business during a lunch or dinner break. This is understandable, but the people you speak with on the phone don't want to hear you munching away. Besides, cell phones don't always offer the clearest sound. Between background noise, your mouth too close to the microphone, and poor reception, a mouthful of food can make it hard for others to understand what you're saying.</p> <p><em>What other rules of phone etiquette should people follow? Hang up and please share in comments!</em></p> <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/9-things-people-with-good-phone-skills-never-do" class="sharethis-link" title="9 Things People With Good Phone Skills Never Do" rel="nofollow">ShareThis</a><br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">Written by <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/mikey-rox">Mikey Rox</a> and published on <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/">Wise Bread</a>. Read more <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/taxonomy/term/"> articles from Wise Bread</a>.</div></div> General Tips Personal Development conversation etiquette phone calls telephone Fri, 10 Oct 2014 11:00:03 +0000 Mikey Rox 1230389 at http://www.wisebread.com 7 Habits That Are Quietly Making You Fat (and Have Nothing to Do With Eating) http://www.wisebread.com/7-habits-that-are-quietly-making-you-fat-and-have-nothing-to-do-with-eating <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/7-habits-that-are-quietly-making-you-fat-and-have-nothing-to-do-with-eating" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://www.wisebread.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/tired-businesswoman-187953736-small.jpg" alt="tired businesswoman" title="tired businesswoman" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="250" height="140" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p>Can't figure out why you're packing on the pounds lately? It may not be related to food at all. In fact, some of your habits may be contributing to the spike on the scale. (See also: <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/7-killer-ways-to-really-actually-lose-weight?ref=seealso">7 Killer Ways to Actually Lose Weight</a>)</p> <p>Find out if you're guilty of these seven habits that are quietly making you fat, and then take steps to correct them.</p> <h2>1. Sitting at Your Desk</h2> <p>It's no secret that a sedentary lifestyle &mdash; also known as the &quot;Sitting Disease&quot; &mdash; can lead to a whole host of problems (the least of which is a few extra pounds, by the way), but those problems are amplified if you're sitting around just as much at work as you are at home.</p> <p>WebMD reports that &quot;long periods of physical inactivity raise your risk of developing heart disease, diabetes, cancer, and obesity.&quot; There are <a href="http://www.webmd.com/fitness-exercise/features/do-you-have-sitting-disease">small gradual changes you can make</a>, however, that will get you up and moving again. For starters, get up from your desk and walk around, stretch, or move for a period of at least five minutes. Need motivation? Instead of sending an email to Bill in accounting, take a stroll to his office to speak to him in person. (See also: <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/6-simple-ways-to-get-more-exercise-without-working-out?ref=seealso">6 Simple Ways to Get More Exercise Without Working Out</a>)</p> <h2>2. Not Getting a Good Night's Sleep</h2> <p>There's plenty of science that points to<a href="http://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/excessive-sleepiness-10/lack-of-sleep-weight-gain"> a correlation between sleep deprivation and weight gain</a> &mdash; there are hormones and other factors involved &mdash; but we don't have to get complicated to understand that not getting enough shut-eye is hurting your waistline. The bottom line is that sleep deprivation is a vicious cycle that is facilitated by and also results in poor eating habits (like too many cups of coffee or a sugar boost to get you through the day) that lead to feelings of sluggishness that make you want to skip the gym which increases the likelihood that you'll continue to eat poorly once you get home&hellip; and so on. Of course, when it's time to go to bed, you're too wound up to sleep &mdash; and so the cycle continues.</p> <p>Work on developing <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/beat-back-the-zombies-4-ways-to-avoid-sleep-deprivation?ref=seealso">better sleep habits</a>, and it'll be that much easier to develop better diet and exercise habits.</p> <h2>3. Poor Posture, Even If It's an Illusion</h2> <p>You're not actually gaining weight if you have poor posture &mdash; you could be healthy and active and fit &mdash; but if you're a sloucher, you're making those couple extra pounds look like <em>several</em> extra pounds. To combat this problem and ultimately look slimmer, be conscious of how you're sitting and standing so you can <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/get-and-keep-amazing-posture-by-doing-these-10-stretches-today">work on your posture</a>.</p> <h2>4. Riding Instead of Walking (or Climbing)</h2> <p>Do you always take the escalator when there's a staircase right beside it? Do you ride the elevator up one or two floors when you could walk? Are you hopping cabs to go a few blocks?</p> <p>If these scenarios sound like you, you're missing out on crucial exercise opportunities that may seem small individually but will add up over time and potentially result in weight loss. If you want to lose more weight, you need to get moving more often. Plus, if you do it throughout the day with small steps at a time, you won't have to beat yourself up at the gym &mdash; which also can lead to discouragement and eventually avoidance of exercise altogether.</p> <h2>5. Taking Certain Kinds of Medication</h2> <p>Some of the medications you're taking may be contributing to your weight gain, so it's important to discuss this with your doctor if you've noticed a change. Ideally, these side effects should be discussed in advance of the prescription so you're informed, but if you've been on a particular medication for a while that you think is the culprit, schedule an appointment to get the situation under control.</p> <h2>6. Changing Into Sweats/Pajamas as Soon as You Get Home</h2> <p>We're all guilty of this from time to time &mdash; and it's not completely terrible if it's every once in a while &mdash; but if this is a regular habit of yours, you need to nip it in the bud right now.</p> <p>This is more a psychological issue than anything else, because when you change into your pajamas as soon as you get home, you automatically enter a mindset that you're not doing anything for the rest of the day or night. This leads to hours on the couch, binge watching television, and probably stuffing your face with junk food out of pure boredom. To curb this habit, add more hobbies and activities to your life that'll keep you busy and moving. Don't cop out with the ol' &quot;I don't have time&quot; routine either; if you've got time to stare at the tube for multiple hours on end, you've got time to do something more productive. It's just a matter of your willingness. (See also: <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/25-fun-frugal-things-to-do-tonight-besides-watch-tv?ref=seealso">25 Fun, Frugal Things to Do Tonight Besides Watch TV</a>)</p> <h2>7. Putting Off Exercise</h2> <p>And finally, the top habit that is quietly making you fat &mdash; in my opinion anyway.</p> <p>It's very easy to find a million other lazy things to do than get your butt up and burning calories. Trust me, I was a victim of that mentality for a long time. I understand how hard it is to get out of that rut. Nonetheless, it's important for you to help yourself get healthy. Nobody else can do it for you, and you owe it to yourself anyway. Instead of brushing off the opportunity to get active next time &mdash; even if it's just for a few minutes &mdash; take advantage of it. I promise that afterward your body and your mind will feel better, and hopefully it will be the beginning of a more positive, healthier you.</p> <p><em>Do you have other habits to offer that are quietly making us fat? Please share in comments!</em></p> <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/7-habits-that-are-quietly-making-you-fat-and-have-nothing-to-do-with-eating" class="sharethis-link" title="7 Habits That Are Quietly Making You Fat (and Have Nothing to Do With Eating)" rel="nofollow">ShareThis</a><br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">Written by <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/mikey-rox">Mikey Rox</a> and published on <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/">Wise Bread</a>. Read more <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/taxonomy/term/"> articles from Wise Bread</a>.</div></div> General Tips Health and Beauty Personal Development diet exercise fitness weight gain weight loss Thu, 09 Oct 2014 15:00:03 +0000 Mikey Rox 1229271 at http://www.wisebread.com 9 Dumb Little Things You Need to Stop Saying Today http://www.wisebread.com/9-dumb-little-things-you-need-to-stop-saying-today <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/9-dumb-little-things-you-need-to-stop-saying-today" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://www.wisebread.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/couple-talking-92151506-small.jpg" alt="couple talking" title="couple talking" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="250" height="140" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p>Most of us have things that we say habitually. These can be words or phrases, and we're often unconscious of them, at least until <a href="http://www.slate.com/articles/life/the_good_word/2014/09/fingerprint_words_verbal_tics_that_define_us_and_how_they_spread_to_others.single.html">someone points them out</a>. (See also: <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/the-10-stupidest-things-smart-people-say?ref=seealso">The 10 Stupidest Things Smart People Say</a>)</p> <p>Most of these don't harm anybody and they are part of what makes each one of us the person we are. However, whether you like it or not, other people will decide what type of person you are based on what you say.</p> <p>If you're concerned about how you're coming across, consider eliminating the following words and phrases from your vocabulary.</p> <h2>1. &quot;Not me&quot; or &quot;I don't deserve it&quot;</h2> <p>It's hard to know how to accept a compliment, especially when you feel like you don't deserve it. However, saying &quot;Not me,&quot; or &quot;I don't deserve it,&quot; makes it look like you have poor self-esteem. Some of us were taught that it's polite to deny a compliment, but in fact it makes you seem like you are uncomfortable with yourself, don't know yourself, or aren't comfortable being good at something.</p> <p>Most people don't offer genuine compliments when they don't mean them, so even if they don't know the situation or are giving you more credit than you deserve, they are telling you the truth as they see it. Instead of denying or deflecting the compliment, accept it as the gift it is and acknowledge that the person offering the compliment may see something in you that you don't.</p> <h2>2. &quot;I told you so&quot;</h2> <p>Most of us know that people don't like to hear &quot;I told you so!&quot;, but sometimes we find ourselves saying it, or its equivalents, anyway. This makes you look like a jerk, an immature one, who cannot be with someone in their pain without turning the conversation back to you. It's so condescending!</p> <p>Instead, empathize with the person and try to help them decide where to go next. Say, &quot;Wow, that really sucks! I'm so sorry. What do you want to do now?&quot;</p> <h2>3. &quot;**&amp;^#%!&quot;</h2> <p>Sure, there's a time and a place for a well-placed f-bomb. Most of the time, though, cursing simply isn't necessary. There are plenty of more creative ways to express your sentiments, and most of them don't make you sound as stupid as you do when you are cursing all the time.</p> <p>If you aren't sure how else to express your strong emotions, try thinking of an analogy. Coming up with some new imagery for your feelings makes you look creative or inventive, rather than like you are following the crowd.</p> <h2>4. &quot;Um&hellip;&quot;</h2> <p>So, you know that <a href="http://www.artofmanliness.com/2012/06/14/becoming-well-spoken-how-to-minimize-your-uhs-and-ums/">&quot;um&quot; is a filler word</a>, which, at best, doesn't add anything to the conversation and, at worst, makes you look like you don't really know what you're talking about. You still say it, though, and, sure enough, you end up looking stupider than you actually are.</p> <p>To get rid of your &quot;ums&quot;, make sure you plan ahead for any speaking engagement. The better you know your material, the less likely you will be to need filler words. If you can't plan ahead, keep your words and sentences simple and short. This will keep you from getting stuck and using &quot;um&quot; until you can find the word you need.</p> <h2>5. &quot;I know, right?&quot;</h2> <p>This is a phrase that a lot of 20-somethings like to use to show their agreement. It's awkward, though, because it asks a question that the other person may not know whether or not to answer. Since you're asking them to affirm something they just said, using this can make the other person in the conversation confused, and it can make you look like you don't know what to say.</p> <p>Instead of &quot;I know, right?&quot; just tell people you agree with them. Say, &quot;Oh, yeah,&quot; or something equally innocuous, and let them continue with their story. If they are looking for more of a response from you, share your own experience with whatever they are describing. And if they just want to talk, it may be that you don't need to say anything at all.</p> <h2>6. &quot;You'll be fine&quot;</h2> <p>When something bad happens to someone we care about, we want to make them feel better. We want to make the situation better, so we tell them, &quot;You'll be fine.&quot; Unfortunately, this is dismissive and sends a clear message that you aren't interested in listening to them. Even if this isn't at all what you want to say, this is your message when you use these words.</p> <p>Many times, the best thing to say to someone who is hurting or facing a tragedy is nothing at all. There's nothing you can say that will make it better, and people who are hurting usually just want someone to be with them, to help them hold their pain, and to continue to be there no matter what happens.</p> <h2>7. &quot;Like&quot;</h2> <p>Unless you're making an analogy, saying &quot;like&quot; <a href="http://www.onlinecollege.org/how-to-stop-saying-like-and-sound-smarter/">makes you sound like a Valley Girl</a>. So if you want to come across as vapid and shallow, go ahead and say it. Otherwise, be ruthless in eliminating this from your vocabulary.</p> <p>Sure, you've heard this before. We all have. But we still say &quot;like&quot; all the time. Even the least valley of all the people you know probably uses this more than they think they do. If you really want to stop, enlist the help of other people. Ask them to call you out when you say it, or make a mutual pact to do it for each other. If this isn't a good option, record yourself, identify the times when you use the word, and work from there to eliminate it.</p> <h2>8. &quot;I think you should&hellip;&quot;</h2> <p>If someone comes to you and asks, &quot;What do you think I should do about this?&quot; it's fine to give them advice. Otherwise, just don't. Offering advice when it wasn't requested makes you sound pompous, or at least like you enjoy appearing to be clever.</p> <p>Instead, listen to what people share with you. Ask them good questions. Help them explore their experience and what it means to them. Many times, they will discover on their own what they want to do in the situation. Other times, they'll realize you're interested and will ask you your opinion, at which point you can dispense your advice.</p> <h2>9. &quot;I'm not judging you, but&hellip;&quot;</h2> <p>You may say that you aren't judging them, but you are. The very fact that you are thinking in terms of judging means that you are making some sort of judgement about them in your own head. And this <a href="http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/08/100802165441.htm">isn't good for you</a> or for them.</p> <p>This is a hard phrase to eliminate because it often comes from having a judgemental attitude, which is much harder to change than simply a phrase. Start by thinking up reasons why the other person's actions might make sense, and speak to them from that place of understanding.</p> <p><em>What do you say that you wish you could stop? What would you like to substitute it with? Please share in comments!</em></p> <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/9-dumb-little-things-you-need-to-stop-saying-today" class="sharethis-link" title="9 Dumb Little Things You Need to Stop Saying Today" rel="nofollow">ShareThis</a><br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">Written by <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/sarah-winfrey">Sarah Winfrey</a> and published on <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/">Wise Bread</a>. Read more <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/taxonomy/term/"> articles from Wise Bread</a>.</div></div> General Tips Personal Development dumb things to say expressions habits phrases sayings Wed, 08 Oct 2014 11:00:05 +0000 Sarah Winfrey 1227987 at http://www.wisebread.com 13 Things People With Good Table Manners Never Do http://www.wisebread.com/13-things-people-with-good-table-manners-never-do <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/13-things-people-with-good-table-manners-never-do" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://www.wisebread.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/rude-date-smartphone-508725337-small.jpg" alt="rude date smartphone" title="rude date smartphone" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="250" height="140" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p>&quot;Elbows off the table!&quot;</p> <p>Think you're already prepared to dine with royalty, or do you need to be re-schooled in how to eat like a human being? Let's find out with this list of things that people with good table manners would never do. (See also: <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/10-rules-of-etiquette-everyone-should-know-and-follow?ref=seealso">10 Rules of Etiquette That Everyone Should Know (and Follow!)</a>)</p> <h2>1. Eat With Their Hands</h2> <p>Zac Alfson is patron engagement manager at a volunteer choir and orchestra, and he really doesn't like it when people eat with their hands. I mean, he <em>really</em> doesn't like it.</p> <p>&quot;People with good table manners never eat with their hands,&quot; Zac imparts. &quot;Seriously. It's rude to other people at the table to be putting your hands in your mouth during the entire meal, dipping into shared sauces, etc. Even (particularly) a burger and fries are ideal for a fork and knife &mdash; it also slows you down to enjoy the meal and company more than shoveling food into you face. And when you shake hands after the meal, they haven't just been in the person's mouth.&quot;</p> <h2>2. Chew or Speak With Their Mouth Open</h2> <p>My mother used to tell my brother to stop chewing like a cow when we were kids. Anybody else ever heard that one? Perhaps a little crude, but it's accurate; cows aren't exactly known for their dainty mastication skills. Thus, chew and swallow before you open your mouth unless you want to be compared to a farm animal.</p> <h2>3. Relieve Gas at the Table</h2> <p>I'm sure mother of four and <a href="http://www.easylivingsolutions.blogspot.com">home organization blogger</a> Ginny Underwood is an expert in teaching tiny people to behave themselves at the table, which makes her suggestion that people with good manners will never &quot;belch, burp, or pass wind while at the table&quot; as good as a renowned etiquette expert's. &quot;Sharing the dinner table with others is a social interaction, [whether it's] a casual family gathering or a business meeting. Good table manners show respect for the people you are dining with and person(s) providing the food, which is why good table manners should be employed at every meal,&quot; she says.</p> <h2>4. Check Devices</h2> <p>It's becoming increasingly more common to see friends and families dining at a restaurant with their faces buried in their devices instead of enjoying each other's company. And relationship expert April Masini needs you to nip that bad habit in the bud right now.</p> <p>&quot;You'll never see people with good table manners checking a cell phone or other electronic device at the table,&quot; Masini says. &quot;They come to the table to eat and to socialize, and they know that including a cell phone at the table is like turning on the television while you eat &mdash; when someone is sitting with you, they're being ignored. Old cliches show one spouse reading a newspaper at the table as very bad manners, but today that newspaper has been replaced by a cell phone. Leave the cell phone in the other room, turned off, when you're on a date, at a dinner party or eating with family. Focus on the people at the table with you.&quot;</p> <h2>5. Have the Bill Come to the Table</h2> <p>Nationally recognized etiquette consultant Jodi R.R. Smith has doled out her expert advice on the CBS Early Show, Good Morning America, and Today. According to her, people with good table manners never have the bill come to table at the end of the meal. &quot;The host arranges in advance for the bill to be covered so that there are no uncomfortable moments at the end of the meal to mar a wonderful occasion,&quot; she says. This primarily applies to planned events &mdash; birthdays, anniversaries, etc. that someone has coordinated &mdash; with consideration that no other methods of payment (i.e. splitting costs) have been established beforehand.</p> <h2>6. Drink When You Are Toasted</h2> <p>Dawn Bryan is the author of <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/147929098X/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=390957&amp;creativeASIN=147929098X&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;tag=wisbre03-20&amp;linkId=NRWLVJUT7TW7OFFS">Elite Etiquette</a>, and she sent in a lot of great tips like how you should never smoke at the table or use your napkin as a handkerchief, but I found her tip that you should never drink to a toast if the toast is <em>for you</em> very enlightening.</p> <h2>7. Begin Eating Before the Host Starts</h2> <p><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Constance-Dunn/e/B003PXZ2AC/?_encoding=UTF8&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=390957&amp;linkCode=ur2&amp;tag=wisbre03-20&amp;linkId=6LWNHCXXCWKSGYJ7">Published etiquette author</a> Constance Dunn warns that you should never begin eating until the host has started or has otherwise signaled the guests to start. &quot;This nonverbal gesture communicates deference to your host and the fact that you are dining as a group, and not seated with a six-pack and a pizza,&quot; she says.</p> <h2>8. Ask for a Seat Reassignment</h2> <p>Lifestyle and manners expert Michelle Payer demands: Sit wherever you're assigned. She sums it up nicely when she says, &quot;If there are place cards, never asked to be re-seated or change places; be gracious and honored to be included. Period.&quot;</p> <h2>9. Eat Their Bread Like an Animal</h2> <p>Actually, Michelle Payer had another great comment that made me laugh a little: &quot;Never break open a dinner roll, butter each side, close it, and tear into it like a dog with a bone.&quot; The visual made me chuckle. That wasn't the first tip I saw about how to handle bread either. <a href="http://www.etiquettescholar.com/dining_etiquette/table_manners/dinner_etiquette/breads_and_pasta/bread.html">Etiquette Scholar</a> suggests that you should break soft bread in half with fingers instead of a knife.</p> <h2>10. Start Eating Before Everyone Is Seated</h2> <p>Cool your jets, Top Guns. Relationship expert April Masini says, &quot;Whether you're at a dinner party or at dinner with your family at the kitchen table, people with good manners will wait for everyone to be seated to begin eating. Waiting signals that you acknowledge the others at the table, and it's a way of showing respect for them, as well as for yourself as part of a group. Typically, it's good manners to wait for your hostess to begin eating, which is a signal for everyone else to begin as well. If he or she doesn't, wait.&quot;</p> <h2>11. Eat Their Meal Too Quickly</h2> <p>Certified etiquette consultant Priscilla Murtha says that people with good table manners won't eat their meal too quickly. She suggests pacing yourself to the slowest diner so everyone finishes at relatively the same time. Roughly translated: Slow down, troglodytes; dinner wasn't served in a trough.</p> <h2>12. Lean Their Chair Back</h2> <p>Certified personal image consultant <a href="http://www.marianrothschild.com">Marian Rothschild</a> says that balancing your dinner chair on its hind legs is a major faux pas. She sent in that tip and added that you also shouldn't slouch in your chair or eat standing up. &quot;You should always sit properly and comfortably in your chair for the duration of the meal,&quot; she says.</p> <h2>13. Eat Off Other People's Plates</h2> <p><a href="http://www.askapril.com/">Relationship expert</a> April Masini says, &quot;If you want to share or try the food someone in your party has ordered, you should cut a piece of the food off, and place it on a clean (unused) bread dish and pass it to them, or put the portion you've cut for them, on their plate. Don't offer your plate to them to eat off of, and don't offer them a bite off your fork.&quot;</p> <p><em>Do you have other etiquette tips or dining pet peeves that people with good table manners would never do? Let me know in the comments below.</em></p> <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/13-things-people-with-good-table-manners-never-do" class="sharethis-link" title="13 Things People With Good Table Manners Never Do" rel="nofollow">ShareThis</a><br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">Written by <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/mikey-rox">Mikey Rox</a> and published on <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/">Wise Bread</a>. Read more <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/taxonomy/term/"> articles from Wise Bread</a>.</div></div> General Tips etiquette manners table manners Tue, 07 Oct 2014 11:00:04 +0000 Mikey Rox 1227735 at http://www.wisebread.com 6 Nervous Tics You Need to Stop Right Now http://www.wisebread.com/6-nervous-tics-you-need-to-stop-right-now <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/6-nervous-tics-you-need-to-stop-right-now" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://www.wisebread.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/groom-biting-nails-494383961-small.jpg" alt="groom biting nails" title="groom biting nails" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="250" height="141" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p>Sure, you're nervous. It's an interview, or a first date, or maybe just a party where you're meeting new people. It's normal to feel some stress and anxiety. (See also: <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/how-to-step-out-of-your-comfort-zone-and-try-something-new?ref=seealso">How to Step Out of Your Comfort Zone and Try Something New</a>)</p> <p>What's not normal, though, is to act in ways that annoy the people around you or make you stand out in a negative light. While these behaviors are often called nervous tics, true nervous tics usually have their origins in some sort of neurological problem. The behaviors discussed below are mostly habits that, somehow, help assuage your anxiety.</p> <p>Either way, they need to stop.</p> <h2>1. Abdominal Crunching</h2> <p>This is a lesser known tic and one that you might not even realize you're doing. People watching you might not know either, though it can make you look fidgety or like you're bobbing up and down just slightly.</p> <p>Basically, abdominal crunching or tensing is just what it sounds like: squeezing your abdominal muscles tightly. While this tic is closely tied to neurological disorders, it can also be a way of bracing yourself against what feels like an onslaught from the world around you.</p> <p>When you feel like life is throwing a lot of things at you, one after the other, you might want to brace yourself against all of that. Tensing your abdominal muscles can help you feel like you can withstand the attack.</p> <h2>2. Toe Crunching or Curling</h2> <p>This is another tic that's closely tied to neurological disorders like Tourette's Syndrome. However, it can also be a way of trying to hide your nervousness from others.</p> <p>When you clench and unclench your toes, or simply keep them curled in your shoes, it can be because you have nervous energy that you don't know what to do with. You may be conscious enough of it to avoid more obvious expressions of it, but you can't simply contain your anxiety or channel it into something constructive.</p> <h2>3. Eye Blinking</h2> <p>I have a good friend who struggled with this tic. Every time she got nervous, she'd blink her eyes like crazy. It made her a terrible liar. I remember a time when her roommate confronted her about something innocuous, like forgetting to vacuum or leaving a light on all night. She swore she didn't do it, blinking furiously the whole time.</p> <p>This is a tic that the people around you probably can't help but notice. It may not make them uncomfortable, but it might make it harder for them to be around you. And people who value eye contact may find it infuriating, because it's hard to hold eye contact with someone who blinks all the time.</p> <h2>4. Throat Clearing</h2> <p>Most people who clear their throats all the time don't realize they're doing it. This can start with a simple cold or lingering allergies. Sometimes, you legitimately need to clear your throat a lot. Other times, though, it can become an annoying habit.</p> <p>Sometimes, people clear their throats a lot because they want to be heard. They may be worried about saying the wrong thing, or about making their point clearly. In an unconscious attempt to be heard, they clear their throat over and over again.</p> <p>Unfortunately, clearing your throat might annoy the people you're speaking with so much that they don't hear you, because they're too busy trying to corral their own frustration.</p> <h2>5. Grooming</h2> <p>This includes several behaviors, including biting your nails, picking at your skin, and pulling or picking at your hair. All of these are normal things to do, under certain circumstances. For instance, it's normal to bite at a nail that's broken or at a hangnail, especially when you don't have clippers available.</p> <p>However, these begin to become strange habits when they start to be triggered by something else. Many people engage in these activities when they're nervous, <a href="http://www.npr.org/blogs/health/2012/10/01/161766321/nail-biting-mental-disorder-or-just-a-bad-habit">though some do it when they drive or when they're stressed</a>. Eventually, the behavior becomes a habit that doesn't have to be triggered at all.</p> <p>Most people with grooming tics find engaging in their tic satisfying. However, breaking the tic isn't usually that hard. Wear acrylic nails or cover your hair with a hat, for instance and, over time, you won't feel the compulsion anymore.</p> <h2>6. Facial Gesturing</h2> <p>This set of tics includes anything that you do with your face. It can involve staring or avoiding eye contact, licking your lips repeatedly, or grimacing without realizing it. Again, these are often behaviors that start normally, but somehow become tied to a trigger and then become a habit.</p> <p>Facial gestures can make it difficult for people to feel like they really know you. You learn a lot about a person by looking in their eyes, and when you can't do that or you're constantly distracted by something else they're doing with their face, it can be hard to make and hold appropriate eye contact and get to know them.</p> <h2>Why Avoid These Tics</h2> <p>The main reason to avoid tics is that they leave people with a negative first impression of you. Even when you're in a situation where nerves are normal or even expected, expressing them through a tic indicates that you aren't in control of your anxiety. If you're interviewing for a job or meeting someone new, this can indicate that you aren't an ideal employee or that you might make a difficult friend.</p> <p>A <a href="http://psychcentral.com/news/2014/02/15/the-power-of-a-first-impression/65944.html">first impression is so important</a>! If you're afraid you have one of these tics or you know you do, try to get some people close to you to help you out by telling you when they see you doing the behavior. If it's something you can block physically, like wearing acrylic nails to curb nail biting, go ahead and do that.</p> <p>Even if your tics are invisible, though, they're often indicators of stress and anxiety levels so high <a href="http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/stress-dangers/">your health might be in danger</a>. Instead of putting these feelings into nervous tics, <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/20-free-or-really-cheap-ways-to-relieve-stress">seek out ways to lower your stress levels</a>. If you can get to a point where you feel better about your life, you might find your tics disappearing on their own.</p> <p><em>Do you have any nervous tics? How have they affected your life?</em></p> <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/6-nervous-tics-you-need-to-stop-right-now" class="sharethis-link" title="6 Nervous Tics You Need to Stop Right Now" rel="nofollow">ShareThis</a><br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">Written by <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/sarah-winfrey">Sarah Winfrey</a> and published on <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/">Wise Bread</a>. Read more <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/taxonomy/term/"> articles from Wise Bread</a>.</div></div> General Tips Personal Development habits nervous habits nervousness stress tension Mon, 06 Oct 2014 11:00:04 +0000 Sarah Winfrey 1226297 at http://www.wisebread.com Master These 15 Interview Questions http://www.wisebread.com/master-these-15-interview-questions <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/master-these-15-interview-questions" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://www.wisebread.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/job-interview-152981657-small.jpg" alt="job interview" title="job interview" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="250" height="140" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p>First impressions are everything, and making a good one during a job interview can very well snag you the job of your dreams. Interviews can be nerve-racking, especially if it's for a job you really want. The only way to calm your nerves is to do a lot of prep beforehand so you'll be ready for your interview. Read on for 15 common interview questions.</p> <p>RELATED: <a href="http://www.popsugar.com/smart-living/What-Your-Biggest-Weakness-Interview-Question-33900029">4 Rules for Answering the Weakness Question</a></p> <h2>1. Tell Me About Yourself</h2> <p>This question usually takes about one to two minutes to answer and will be your elevator pitch. You want to give them a brief rundown of who you are as a person and show how you articulate you are. Don't start rambling on about your personal history. Talk about highlights from job positions or schooling and how you can contribute to the company with your background and experiences.</p> <p>Know what the company is looking for. If it prizes technical skills, play those up. Showcase the qualities needed for the job you're interviewing for.</p> <p>Before the interview, write down two to three notable achievements, and be sure to bring them up during your elevator pitch.</p> <h2>2. What Are Your Strengths and Weaknesses?</h2> <p>Think about what others have said about you when you're trying to come up with a list of your strengths. Remember, always back up your points with an example.</p> <p>Pick strengths that align with the company's culture and goals. If you're applying to a scrappy start-up, highlight your ability to multitask and to take initiative.</p> <p>The most important factor when choosing which strengths to highlight is to make sure they relate to the position your applying to. For example, if you're applying for a human resources position, talk about your interpersonal skills.</p> <p>The weakness question is always the hardest to answer. Don't give a clichéd answer such as you work too hard or you're too much of a perfectionist. Try your best to stick to the truth and make sure you mention the steps you take to counter the weakness. Don't disclose anything that will make you look like an incompetent employee, such as not meeting deadlines and getting into conflicts with co-workers. Put a positive spin on the weakness but make sure it doesn't sound too practiced. An example of weaknesses can be impatience, which can mean that you want to get the job done. Another weakness can be time management but make sure you name the steps you take to beat that problem. You will look like a problem solver when you show them what you did to fix a flaw.</p> <h2>3. What Salary Are You Looking For?</h2> <p>You don't have to answer this question at the interview, and you can try to deflect this question until you've received an offer. Tell the interviewers that you want to hold off on salary talk until the both of you know that you're right for the job.</p> <h2>4. Why Do You Want to Work for Us?</h2> <p>Read up everything you can about the company, including the website, news articles, profiles of employees, and any tidbits on LinkedIn. If you or your friends know employees at the company, ask if they can speak to you about what the company is like.</p> <p>Try to get a sense of what the company culture is and what its goals are. Once you've done your homework, you need to figure out how the company ties into your own career path and future.</p> <h2>5. Where Do You See Yourself in a Few Years?</h2> <p>Think about how you can move forward from the position you're eyeing. Figure out the natural career track and tailor your answer to the company. Try to be honest but not to the point where you make yourself look like an unattractive candidate, such as saying you want to work for their competitor or something too personal like becoming a mom. Stick to professional examples; they don't want to hear about your personal life plan.</p> <h2>6. Are You Interviewing With Other Companies?</h2> <p>Try not to spend too much time on this question and answer briefly. A simple yes and mentioning the fact that you're open to opportunities will do the trick. You can also say that this particular job is your first choice. Remember, honesty is always the best policy, and don't lie and say you're interviewing at certain companies when you're not.</p> <h2>7. What Can You Do for This Company?</h2> <p>There are several versions of this question, which also includes, &quot;What will you do when you're at [job position x]?&quot; When you're preparing for the interview, think about why you would do a good job at the position and what steps you would take to achieve that.</p> <p>Bring in new ideas and examples of what you have done in the past that has benefited your previous companies. One trick that will help the company visualize you in the position is to tell them exactly what you'd do in the first two weeks at the job. Be specific about what you'd like to accomplish, so it's more believable and impressive.</p> <h2>8. Why Do You Want to Leave or Why Did You Leave Your Current Job?</h2> <p>It's understandable if you were laid off given the rocky economy. You don't have to share the dirty details, but you should be truthful and mention that your company had to let go of X number of people or the department was being restructured.</p> <p>If you are leaving because of a negative situation, be sure not to badmouth your old company or boss. It just reflects badly on you if you do. You can focus on the fact that you're looking for growth and that you feel this company feels like the step in the right direction.</p> <h2>9. Do You Have Any Questions for Me?</h2> <p>Asking good questions can reveal a lot of your personality and can be the most important part of the interview. Take some time into crafting very personal, well thought-out questions that require more than a &quot;yes&quot; or &quot;no&quot; answer.</p> <p>Don't ask questions that seem to be too assuming and that make you sound like you think you got the job. Don't try to focus on pay, benefits, and getting promoted. Focus more on what you can do for the company and not what the company can do for you.</p> <p>Use your judgement during the interview on how many questions are appropriate.</p> <h2>10. When Did You Have to Deal With Conflict in the Office, and How Did You Resolve It?</h2> <p>Be careful when you're addressing this question and make sure that you're not bitter or negative in your answer. You should always be positive because this reflects the fact that you take conflict well. Talk about a problem you faced (preferably not something you created), and detail the steps you proactively took to resolve the problem. The best examples will come from your past experiences.</p> <h2>11. Testing Your Knowledge and Experience</h2> <p>Make sure what you can live up to your claims in your résumé and cover letter, because your interviewer may try to test your knowledge and experience.</p> <p>For example, he might ask you questions in your field or get your professional opinion on some current events happening in your expertise. Another way to test your knowledge is to walk you through a sample scenario you might face in this new job, and ask you how you would solve the issue.</p> <p>The best way to prepare for these questions is to read up as much as you can about industry that you're applying to, and brush up on items in your past. Give yourself time to think about how you would tackle the problem they present to you, and don't rush your explanation. Even if you don't arrive at the conclusion the hiring manager is looking for, they may be impressed by your thought process.</p> <h2>12. Tell Me About Your Achievements</h2> <p>It's your time to shine when you talk about your achievements. Make sure you're preparing ahead of time for the achievement question.</p> <p>Write down three possible past wins relevant to the company and position you're applying to, and practice articulating your answers. Do your best to be specific and possibly throw in numbers to really back up your answers. For example, saying something like &quot;As a result of achievement x, revenue numbers increased by x percent year over year.&quot; This will really show your hiring manager how you added value to your past company's growth and reveal your worth as an employee.</p> <h2>13. Tell Me About Your Failures</h2> <p>Be careful when picking which failures to talk about because it can either be a hit or miss answer.</p> <p>Be honest in your answer. Don't pick a weak example, where the failure wasn't truly a flop. It's very telling if you're uncomfortable with the question. The interviewer may see you as someone who can't take responsibility for her mistakes and grow from it.</p> <p>You want to make sure that whatever you mention, you're able to explain how you bounced back stronger than ever and how you took steps to make sure that the mistake never happened again.</p> <h2>14. How Would Your Co-Workers Describe You?</h2> <p>It's time to talk yourself up! Highlight your positive traits, and make sure you're not bringing up your flaws. You should only bring up negative things if you're asked to do so.</p> <p>Think back on what your co-workers and bosses have said about you in your past reviews. This will help you formulate your answer.</p> <h2>15. What Was Your Last Salary?</h2> <p>Remember, you don't have to reveal anything you're not comfortable with to the hiring manager. You can answer this question indirectly by giving the interviewer a range you're expecting.</p> <p>Liz Ryan, CEO of consulting firm The Human Workplace, writes in a <a href="http://www.linkedin.com/today/post/article/20131217070749-52594-how-to-answer-the-question-what-was-your-last-salary?trk=tod-posts-post1-ptlt">LinkedIn post</a>, &quot;When we call the plumber because our tub drain is clogged, we don't ask, 'What did you charge the guy down the block to unclog his drain last week?' If we do, the plumber is going to say, 'My rate is $95 an hour. Do you want me to come over or not?'&quot;</p> <p>She suggests responding to this salary question with &quot;In this job search, I'm looking for jobs in the $95,000 to $100,000 range. Is that in the ballpark?&quot;</p> <p>The best way to prepare for this question is to figure out how much salary you want to be paid. <a href="http://www.savvysugar.com/How-Much-Salary-Should-I-Ask-17873128">Here's how</a>.</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <div class="field field-type-text field-field-blog-teaser"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> Land a job interview? Great. Now seal the deal by learning how to answer these 15 common job interview questions. </div> </div> </div> <div class="field field-type-text field-field-guestpost-blurb"> <div class="field-label">Guest Post Blurb:&nbsp;</div> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <p style="text-align:center;"><a href="http://www.savvysugar.com" style="border:none;"><img alt="" src="http://www.wisebread.com/files/fruganomics/u921/POPSUGARrgb.jpg" style="height:95px; width:300px" /></a></p> <p><em>This is a guest contribution from our friends at </em><a href="http://www.savvysugar.com/"><em>POPSUGAR Smart Living</em></a><em>. Check out more useful articles from this partner:</em></p> <ul> <li><a href="http://www.popsugar.com/smart-living/Cover-Letter-Introduction-Templates-31929718">How to Start Off Your Cover Letter Right</a></li> <li><a href="http://www.popsugar.com/smart-living/Interview-Follow-Up-Email-Template-19179139">Follow Up After a Job Interview With This Email</a></li> <li><a href="http://www.popsugar.com/smart-living/How-Follow-Up-After-Interview-24541874">5 Rules For Following Up After the Interview</a></li> </ul> <p>&nbsp;</p> </div> </div> </div> <br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">Written by <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/popsugar-smart-living">POPSUGAR Smart Living</a> and published on <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/">Wise Bread</a>. Read more <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/taxonomy/term/"> articles from Wise Bread</a>.</div></div> General Tips Job Hunting interview Job Interview job search new job Fri, 03 Oct 2014 21:00:05 +0000 POPSUGAR Smart Living 1221623 at http://www.wisebread.com