body language

10 Little Things to Do Before a Job Interview That Can Make a Big Impact

Paul Michael — Thu, 17 May 2018 09:00:27 +0000

You have an interview coming up. You've taken care of the big things. You have picked out your clothes, studied the company, reached out to contacts for information, and you updated your resume. But what small things can you do the day, or even a few minutes, before you walk into that all-important meeting to have a huge positive impact?

1. Talk yourself up

Even the most confident people get doubts before walking into an interview room. It's only natural; you're about to be grilled for 30 minutes and the outcome could have a massive impact on your life. But it's easy to let those doubts get out of hand, to the point that you couldn't imagine why you'd ever get the job.

Stop that kind of thinking in its tracks. Make a small but potent list of the reasons you are the ideal candidate. Keep it on a Post-it note, or on the home screen of your phone, and look at it before you walk into the room. Concentrate on those positives. This is the kind pep talk you are going to need to step into that room with confidence. Eliminate doubt, and remember: You are here because they want to talk to you. (See also: Use "Cognitive Crafting" to Ace Your Next Job Interview)

2. Check your appearance

You've taken care of the clothing, the shoes, the watch, and the overall presentation. But, little things can happen that can become a big distraction.

Find a quick moment to go to the bathroom and look at your appearance carefully. Is there anything stuck in your teeth? Is there a stain on your shirt? Is there a stray hair waving around, or an eyebrow hair descending into your view? How about your nails? Are they as clean as they can be (any kind of dirt under your nails is going to come across as unprofessional in most jobs you apply for). Make every effort to take care of the smallest details before you walk into the room.

3. Check your breath

Your breath can have an awfully big impact on a first impression. Even if it's due to something like a few too many cups of coffee or eating something that went heavy on the garlic at lunchtime, it can be off-putting and make you memorable for the wrong reasons.

Ideally, you will want to brush your teeth before you get into the interview room. Bring a small toothbrush and travel-sized toothpaste, or better yet, a small disposable toothbrush that comes with its own built-in toothpaste. If that's not an option, mints or gum are a good alternative, but make sure neither of those are in your mouth when you're invited into the room.

4. Practice good posture and confident body language

All those times your teachers and parents said, "Don't slouch" are about to come in handy. You don't want to be so relaxed that you look sloppy, but you also don't want to be as stiff as a board. Sit up nice and straight, elevate your chin a little, and look your hiring manager in the eye.

Although folding your arms does not necessarily mean that you're closed off, many interviewers still think that it does; so, put your hands in your lap, and don't fidget. Don't have a cellphone at hand, as that is a distraction. And don't switch positions constantly through the interview. Your posture should ooze confidence without being noticeable. Plus, a good posture can also boost your own self esteem. (See also: 5 Things Never to Bring Up in a Job Interview)

5. Be aware of the latest news

You most likely have a smartphone, so use it. While you're in the waiting room, scan the news headlines. What's going on in the world? Is there anything that could have an impact on the company you're about to interview with?

Even if there isn't, being informed on the latest news shows that you're on top of things. The interviewer may well start off the interview with some chit chat about something that happened that day, or the night before, and if you're clueless about it, things can get awkward. You don't need to be an expert, just in the know.

6. Read through your resume one more time

You should know your resume like the back of your hand, but that shouldn't stop you from giving it another quick glance before you step into the interview room. Go over the details once again. Pick out the parts that you are most proud of, and concentrate on those in the interview. If possible, have extra copies of your resume printed out and ready to hand over to both the interviewer, and any other people he or she may have invited to sit in on the meeting. (See also: This Is What Your Resume Should Include in 2018)

7. Get a good night's rest

A good eight hours of rest the night before can do wonders for your mental state, and you should do whatever you can to make this happen.

Turn off any unnecessary lights or electronic devices, as the darker the room the better you'll rest. Turn down the heat, or turn up the A/C. Scientists recommend a temperature as low as 60 degrees for optimal sleep, but between 60 and 67 degrees is the given range. And make sure you have closed all windows and other possible means of distraction; a barking dog at 3 a.m. will not be welcomed. Also, don't use alcohol or medication to help you drift off. They may help you get to sleep, but they do not help you stay asleep.

8. Give yourself plenty of time to get there

Plan your route, and plan alternate routes just in case something happens. Most GPS systems will give you detour options if you hit a sudden jam, but even they can be a nightmare to negotiate, especially if it is miles to the nearest exit.

So, consider how long it usually takes to get from point A to point B, and leave early to make sure you are there on time. You don't want to be rushing, or frantic to the point of panic. It will show when you arrive, and you'll be known as the sweaty, flustered candidate that cannot get organized. It's better to be 20 minutes early than five minutes late. (See also: 10 Things You Should Never Do During a Job Interview)

9. Read over the job posting

Why bother? You already applied, your application was accepted, and you're about to step into an interview room. Well, the last thing you want to do is look unprepared. It may have been weeks, or even months, since you last read the job description and you don't want any questions to take you by surprise. In particular, look at the skills or duties required in the role to which you applied. Pick out the ones that align closest with your own skill set and be sure to bring them up in the interview.

10. Have questions ready to ask the interviewer

Remember, you're not just there to answer questions, but to ask them as well. In fact, some hiring managers place more emphasis on the questions you ask than how you answer the ones they shoot at you.

Your questions, if they're smart and probing, show the interviewer that you've done your homework, care about the role, and want to be as informed as possible when making your decision. This, in turn, says a lot about you as a candidate. Almost every interviewer will ask you if you have questions at some point, and if you look lost or mumble and stutter, you may well take yourself out of the running right then and there. (See also: 15 Questions You Should Always Ask at the End of a Job Interview)

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This article is from Paul Michael of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

This One Skill Can Make You a Better Boss

Paul Michael — Mon, 22 May 2017 09:00:10 +0000

What is it that every great boss has, and every rotten boss lacks? Here's a clue: it's not a fancy degree or something you can buy.

The answer is empathy.

With it, you can be a boss that is revered. Without it, you're tone deaf and often hated. Along with your actual ability to do the job, it is the most important trait of a truly superb manager.

What is empathy?

This may sound like an obvious, or even patronizing, question to ask. But empathy is often confused with sympathy, which is related, but different.

According to TheFreeDictionary.com, empathy is "the ability to identify with or understand the perspective, experiences, or motivations of another individual and to comprehend and share another individual's emotional state."

Sympathy is feeling pity or sorrow for someone else. It is more general, and more distant. Empathy is deeper. It means that you can put yourself in the other person's place, and share their emotions and outlook on life. "I feel sorry for you" is sympathy; "I feel your pain" is empathy.

The importance of empathy in the workplace

Whenever people are asked why they quit their job, "the boss" is often among the top answers. That is no coincidence. Whether the boss is a bully, or just inept, it can make a workplace intolerable. In many cases, a lack of empathy is to blame.

Employees want to feel understood and appreciated. An empathetic boss will not only fulfill those needs, but will do it in a way that does not feel forced or "required by management."

If you are not a naturally empathetic person, don't worry. With enough time, support, and encouragement, managers can learn to be empathetic. Here are some positive steps you can take right now to become that beloved boss.

1. Put yourself in the shoes of various employees for a day

It may not always be practical, or even possible. But if you can walk in an employee's shoes for the day — or even a few hours — it can completely open your eyes and show you a whole new perspective. This is especially important if you did not come up through the ranks.

From taking orders at the front of the store, to working on the production line, to assembling a report, you will gain firsthand experience of the different roles for which you are responsible. It will also send a positive message to your staff.

2. Conduct more one-on-one and group interviews

Your employees want to feel heard. If you never give them the chance to tell you what's on their minds, you aren't leading with empathy.

So, arrange regular appointments with them, either for private interviews or group meetings, and let them clear the air. Be open to new ideas, and do not use this time to rebuke anyone, or shoot down suggestions. Make it a positive experience that they look forward to, and make sure good things come from it. Act on the ideas you like, and tell them why you're not implementing ideas you don't like.

3. Get to know staff personally

Ask people how their weekends were. Get to know them beyond the daily grind. How's the family? Are they taking on a lot of extra work at home? This could be the reason they look tired, and have made some mistakes recently. Have they had a major life change, or has there been a bereavement? The more you know, and genuinely understand, the more empathetic you will be, which will in turn make you a better boss.

4. Be open with the staff

You're not expected to be everyone's best friend. You're a boss, and you should define those boundaries. But, there is absolutely nothing wrong with telling people about some of your own management struggles.

Your staff may be annoyed because you haven't implemented something they have been requesting for months. Explaining that you have, in fact, been trying to push that through upper management and are being stonewalled will let the team know you're on their side. Don't pass the buck, bad-mouth your bosses, or make yourself out to be a victim. Just let them know you're working for them.

5. Learn to read body language

If you ask how someone's doing and they say they're fine, it may not be the end of the conversation. How do they look? How's their stance? Is their head drooping? Fingers constantly fidgeting? There may be something they want to tell you, but are hesitant to ask. You can break the silence and find out what's wrong. Don't prod. Simply showing genuine concern can have a major positive impact on how your employees view you.

Above all, be honest, sincere, and understanding of what your employees do. Learn more about their work, their troubles, their lives, and their hopes for the future. Even if you cannot solve their immediate problems, understanding them will make your staff feel so much better having you as their boss.

This article is from Paul Michael of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

How to Get the Job Without Saying a Word

Paul Michael — Thu, 29 Sep 2016 09:30:26 +0000

An interview is something most of us will do several times throughout our careers. Whether it's for a promotion within your current organization, or a new job in a different company, you need to nail every appearance you make. And while what you say is important, how you say it, and the body language you use is crucial. Here are some basic rules everyone should follow.

1. Make a Confident Entrance

It has been said that the interviewer can tell within the first 30 seconds if you are going to be a good fit for the company. And most interviewers have already made up their minds between five and 15 minutes. So you need to walk into the room being very self-assured, without looking arrogant or cocky. Stand up straight, walk with purpose, and be both professional and welcoming. You are happy to be there, without being so enthusiastic that you're as giddy as a puppy meeting its new owner. Offer your hand if they don't immediately offer theirs, and you will be off to a great start. When it's time to leave, apply the same rules.

2. Give a Firm Handshake

The key word here is firm. This is not a competition to see if you can crush the fingers of the person opposite you. Some men see the handshake as a test of manliness and strength, which it is definitely not. Think of the way you would grip a golf club before a swing — good enough to hold onto it, without trying to crush the steel. It should not last too long, one to three pumps is all you need to get this done and get onto the proceedings. If your handshake is flimsy or limp-wristed, you may be considered weak or insecure, and that is not a good first impression to give.

If your hands are clammy or sweaty, find a way to dry them off before you shake. This equates to nervousness or illness, and is not something you want the interviewer to be thinking of. And finally… it's possible the person interviewing you will not shake hands for their own hygiene reasons. If you extend your hand and don't get one in return, just quickly place your hand back by your side and move on.

3. Make Eye Contact

This is not the same as staring (which some interviewers have said is both unnerving and creepy), or refusing to look away from the interviewer during the entire interview. You simply want to maintain good periods of eye contact, around 10-15 seconds at a time, before breaking to look up into the air when pondering a question, or looking at items around the office while you keep the conversation going. It should feel like you're talking to a friend.

If you have a hard time looking right into their eyes, look at their nose, or the space between their eyebrows. They won't know the difference. If you are being interviewed by more than one person, do your best to make eye contact equally with each person, not only the person asking the questions. And remember to smile.

4. Maintain Great Posture

Your usual sitting position in the office is probably far from textbook. Most of us tend to slouch a little in our chairs, even with the advanced in lumbar support. But in an interview, you need to be on your best behavior, and that means sitting up straight without being so stiff that you look like you're on parade. Your posture should look comfortable, but professional. Chest up, shoulders back, spine straight. Keep your hands on your knees or folded in your lap. If you sit back in your chair too much, you look sloppy, and the interviewer may think you're not taking this seriously.

On the other hand, if you lean forward too much, you can be considered aggressive. However, doing it from time to time, particularly when the interviewer says something of great interest, is fine. It shows that you are listening more closely, and that is a nice way to express enthusiasm.

5. Mirror Some of the Interviewer's Moves

A person doing a lot of interviews will usually be comfortable, and express positive body language movements. By mirroring (which is also a common way two people on a date will break down barriers and express interest), you are creating a subconscious bond between the two of you. However, it should be subtle, and used infrequently. If you get into a situation that becomes mimicry, you are going to offend or irritate the other person. They cross their hands, you cross your hands. They scratch their ear, you scratch yours. This is a surefire way to irk the interviewer, and you will not be called back.

6. Don't Overdo the Arm Movements

We are creatures that communicate with more than just words. In fact, over 90% of communication is nonverbal, and that means you are going to make gestures with your face, your body, and your hands. But don't get so excited that you're a windmill. It's okay to use your hands in a minimal way to help get a point across, but don't overdo it.

7. Respect the Interviewer's Personal Space

Most interviews are conducted over a table in an office or conference room, so you shouldn't have to worry too much about boundaries. However, there are times when you may have to get closer to the interviewer, especially if you are showing work from a portfolio, or you are sat facing each other without a table. When this happens, remember personal boundaries and barriers. No one wants a complete stranger getting too close, and it can also expose them to things like strong cologne, body odor, or bad breath — though hopefully, none of these are an issue.

8. Don't Get Too Relaxed

After a few minutes, you may start to become at ease with the interview process. The interviewer may have done a great job of calming your nerves, putting your fears at ease, and making you feel welcome. By all means, laugh at the interviewer's jokes, if they make them, and engage in more casual conversation if the interviewer is taking that lead. But do not sit back in your chair with your arms behind your head. Don't swing on the back legs of the chair either, or slump and stretch out your legs. These are signs of arrogance. And of course, never swear. No matter how casual the interviewer makes it, you do not want to curse like a sailor in any job interview.

9. Don't Fidget

Picking at your nails. Rubbing your head. Twirling your hair. Scratching your nose. Rapidly shaking one leg up and down. These are all annoying little movements that you may well be making unconsciously. A job interview can be nerve-wracking, and when you're nervous, you might do these things without realizing it. You must get them under control. They will only be perceived negatively. The interviewer will see that you are genuinely nervous. They may also think you're bored, hyperactive, or want to be anywhere but in that room with them. Practice with a friend or relative, and do everything you can to eliminate these fidgety moves.

10. Don't Cross Your Arms

Let's first address this myth that crossed arms mean you're closed off, bored, defensive, or trying to hide something. This is untrue. For some, crossed arms are simply comfortable, or a way of controlling fidgety hands. And science suggests that when you cross your arms, you are actually using both sides of your brain, and are more likely to stay on task.

However, the myth has become more powerful than reality. Interviewers have been told to believe the pseudoscience, and when they see crossed arms, they think you're closed off or possibly uptight. In this case, crossing your arms is going to play into the folklore that 90% of interviewers believe to be true, so don't give them that signal.

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This article is from Paul Michael of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

7 Tips for Better Workplace Body Language

Jennifer Holder — Mon, 08 Jun 2015 09:00:16 +0000

No matter how hard you work to gain respect at your workplace, seriously unprofessional body language can send much of your hard work out the window. In fact, in face-to-face communication, research shows that your words account for only 7% percent of your interaction — 38% is in your tone of voice, and 55% is in your nonverbal cues, or body language.

To help you succeed at work, we've compiled seven body language rules to keep in mind as you interact with coworkers, your boss, or external contacts.

1. Keep Your Facial Expressions in Check

Facial expressions speak louder than words. If you're engaged in a conversation but your facial expression is bored, angry, or confused, it's noticeable. Don't be rude — make sure your face is expressing a degree of professionalism. Don't be someone you're not, but make sure you understand the delicate balance between work and emotion.

2. Walk With Confidence

Pick up your feet when you walk. Don't shuffle or stomp. Make sure your shoes fit. One of my pet peeves is when coworkers wear shoes that are too high, don't fit, or just seem generally uncomfortable. Stand tall when you walk, with your hands at your side. If you are about to walk into a room with a lot of strangers or to give a speech, practice power posing in the bathroom or empty room.

3. Eye Contact is Key

Maintaining eye contact makes you trustworthy, likeable, and powerful. When you're in a conversation, be careful to also pay attention to what is being said. Don't stare — engage. Also, look from one eye to the other to keep from turning your eye contact into something creepy, and make sure to look back and forth slowly so the person you're talking to doesn't notice. Most importantly, look away occasionally or you'll make the other person feel uncomfortable.

4. Practice Your Handshake

For the majority of my adult life, my handshake has always been strong. It almost always results in a conversation about weak handshakes where hands go limp. Those can be embarrassing, so practice yours — it should be firm and steady. Handshakes should only last between two and five seconds, and don't forget to engage in eye contact. If you're meeting someone for the first time, be sure to repeat the name or use one of these memory tricks so you don't forget it.

5. Keep Good Posture

When you're in a meeting, pretend you're constantly in Pilates. Don't know what that means? It means to keep the crown of your head straight up and your shoulders squared. Slouching sends the wrong impression, and a lowered head gives the impression that you're not telling the truth or that you're ashamed. Keep your body upright to show you are listening and have confidence in the interaction..

6. Don't Cross Your Arms

Use open body language when you're engaging with someone professionally. Keep your body turned toward the person you're talking to and expose your torso. Crossing your arms shows weakness and nervousness. If you lack confidence in your body, don't let it show.You can use your hands to talk, but don't overdo it. This can be distracting and also show nervousness.

7. Quit Fidgeting!

I have very long hair, and I constantly touch it. (Why do I touch my hair so much? Honestly, it's because I'm always worried about how it looks.) I've been working on this slowly, but surely. Experts agree that playing with your hair, biting your nails, and playing with your jewelry shows you are embarrassed about your appearance or nervous about the interaction. So, stop! No one is going to notice your appearance unless you point it out through your nonverbals, so let it go.

What other body language cues are essential to manage in the workplace? Tell us in the comments section below.

This article is from Jennifer Holder of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

10 Body Language Mistakes That Can Sabotage Any Social Interaction

Joe Epstein — Fri, 30 May 2014 09:12:23 +0000

The good news: this great breakdown of common body language foibles during job interviews can help get you hired.

Bad news: there are loads of other important situations your body language may be ruining!

Whether you're on a date, at a cocktail party, or interacting with someone you're not completely comfortable with yet in any other situation, the physical cues you give off can have big repercussions. Not only can bad body language negatively inform others opinions of you, but research shows that it can even subconsciously effect your view of yourself.

So sit up straight and check out this list of 10 body language mistakes that can sabotage any social interaction. It's time to make sure your social life goes as smoothly as that interview.

1. Beware of Blocking

"Blocking" is the act of placing physical objects between you and the person with whom you're interacting. Even if it's just a pen or a cell phone, the object may as well be an alarm, subconsciously signaling to the other person that you don't quite feel safe or comfortable.

2. Hold Not Your Drink Over Your Heart

Perhaps the most common form of blocking at cocktail parties is the clutching of a drink like a shield. Psychologists have gone as far as breaking down personality type by the way subjects held their drinks, but even less extreme analysis generally supports the finding that holding your drink in front of your chest makes you look guarded. Instead, hold your drink down by your side, which also naturally encourages better posture.

3. Don't Lose Your Head…Awareness

Holding your head completely level — both vertically and horizontally — can indicate that you're awake, alert, and confident. Cocking it slightly to the side, conversely, can show that you're listening attentively. Be aware of your role in the conversation at any given time, and tilt (or don't!) accordingly.

4. Avoid Angling Away

At best, not facing a new acquaintance or conversation partner can convey disinterest, like you're just waiting to bolt. At worst, it communicates discomfort or insecurity. So — unless some sort of bar or table set-up prevents it — face your partner straight on. You're in this conversation, so be in it all the way.

5. Don't be a Personal Space Invaders

Unlike on an interview, where positions are normally fixed (e.g., by the placement of chairs and the barrier of a desk), you're often stuck without fixed positions during standing interactions. And while standing too far away can indicate the same things as angling away, standing too close can, however inadvertently, signal disrespect. Aim for around 1.5ft from your conversational partner, and pay careful attention to any social cues they may be giving off to readjust.

6. Heads Up!

Just like when giving a presentation at work, looking down in a social setting can suck all the power, all the presence, out of whatever it is you're saying. If you're just having a casual conversation, every point you make need not be earth-shatteringly brilliant. But if you're going to say something, believe that what you're saying is worthwhile, and keep your eyes up while speaking to help communicate that belief to others.

7. Palms Up

Hand-gestures are a whole field onto themselves. But for one of the less-covered bits of useful advice: gesticulation with palms facing downward can indicate aggression or dominance, so use them sparingly.

8. Share the Eye Contact

Be cognizant of the fact that when in conversation with several people, every time you make eye contact with one person, you are depriving someone else of it. While a multi-partner interaction can actually cure the problem of over-staring (maintaining eye contact for too long), it also requires that you parse out your attention to avoid offending any one person.

9. Beware the Business Gaze

The so-called "business gaze" refers to the triangle between the eyes and the forehead, and is said to be more powerful and intense than the "social gaze", the triangle between the eyes and the nose or mouth.

10. Don't Box Out the Room

As if you didn't have enough to worry about just keeping your movement positive for the group you're engaging… there's also the rest of the room to worry about. But still: when possible, try to not stand with your back to the crowd at a party or bar. Opening up to the room invites others to join the conversation, and even those within your circle may pick up on the cue and think of you as more friendly and engaging.

This article is from Joe Epstein of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

Impress the Future Boss: 9 Interview Mistakes to Avoid

Kentin Waits — Wed, 30 Nov 2011 11:24:44 +0000

A job interview is one of those few formal moments left in a world that is becoming less and less formal. Understanding just how much we need to up our game to ace an interview can be tough. If you’ve gone to all the effort of landing an interview, present your most poised and polished self by avoiding these nine mistakes. (See also: How to Answer 23 of the Most Common Interview Questions)

1. Arriving Late

Plan for contingencies. If you’re interviewing in a new city or a new part of town, it’s easy to get lost or make a wrong turn. Maybe you hit traffic or can’t find a parking space. Life happens. Prepare for the worst-case scenario and give yourself plenty of room to make it on time. It’s always better to be 20 minutes early and sit in your car preparing than 10 minutes late and arrive apologizing.

2. Keeping Your Cell Phone On

Silence that cell phone before you even enter the building and keep it off until you’ve left. A ringing phone shows lack of respect for your interviewer’s time and shows that you’re a novice in handling the basics of business etiquette. To be safe, don’t rely on vibration mode to do the trick — a buzzing briefcase is just as bad as a ringing one.

3. Offering a Limp Handshake

There is an art to shaking hands properly. Etiquette dictates that you should let your interviewer extend his hand first. Return the shake with one that’s firm and confident. Don’t be too passive; don’t be too aggressive. If you’re worried about it, try a few test shakes with a friend beforehand.

4. Not Bringing a Copy of Your Resume

Your interviewer may not have your resume on-hand. Maybe she’s passing it around to colleagues or fitting you in between meetings and has misplaced your paperwork. In these moments, it’s nice to pull a freshly printed resume from your bag and not make your interviewer run and retrieve the original. This shows forethought and preparation, and it’s a great way to start an interview.

5. Ignoring Body Language

Exuding confidence is never a bad thing in an interview — but confidence goes beyond your resume, your qualifications, and your suit. Make eye contact with your interviewer, especially when you’re answering a question. Stand and sit up straight, smile, and speak clearly — make this brief time your time to shine.

6. Being Too Chatty or Too Casual

Interviewers are trained to put you at ease, and that’s a good thing. Just don’t get too comfortable. Remember, the occasion is still formal; the interviewer is gauging not only your qualifications, but your demeanor and your ability to fit in with the rest of the group. Avoid personal stories or negative talk about past employers.

7. Not Doing Your Research

Expect questions from your interviewer that are designed to gauge your knowledge of the company. In the Internet age, research takes all of 15 or 20 minutes of effort online. Learn some facts about the company — when it was founded, new acquisitions it’s made, who the main competitors are, etc.

8. Ignoring Table Manners

More and more interviews take place over a meal. Remember, even though a restaurant atmosphere may be more casual, the interview isn’t. Don’t order complicated or messy food, don’t order something more expensive than your interviewer, and don’t ever order alcohol. Treat the wait staff at the restaurant especially well, and brush up on those basic table manners.

9. Not Sending a Thank-You Note

The post-interview thank-you happens in two stages: first, in person at the conclusion of the interview, and then with a hand-written note that you send in the mail. Yes, it may seem archaic to send a note via snail mail, but it conveys a sense of propriety, professionalism, and follow-up that just might set you apart from the competition.

None of these tips will come naturally at first, especially for new graduates just entering the working world. Interviews are admittedly a dog-and-pony show, and sometimes the level of formality can be stifling. But knowing how to navigate that formality to showcase your strengths and qualifications will take you from interviewee to interviewer much more quickly.

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This article is from Kentin Waits of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

You Are What You Do: 16 Ways to Improve Your Body Language

Nora Dunn — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 10:00:12 +0000

What you say is only the tip of the iceberg of communication. The rest lies in your body language: how you hold yourself, your mannerisms, conduct, and even how you breathe. With a little conscious effort to improve your body language, you stand a better chance of scoring that job, that date, or simply being seen as the engaging and genuine person that you are. (See also: 7 Ways to be the Life of Every Party)

What Is Body Language?

Body language includes more than just the slouch-factor or where you put your hands. In fact, it includes facial expressions, proximity to others, body position, habits, eye gestures, how we touch ourselves and others, how we interact with what we touch (i.e., fiddling), and even breathing.

Conscious or Subconscious?

Many of our mannerisms are subconscious, and we also read other people's mannerisms subconsciously. In fact, in the first two minutes of meeting somebody, your chances of remembering their name is slim, because your subconscious mind is busy evaluating that person's body language and getting to know their personality that way. (So if you want somebody to remember your name, make sure you repeat it after the first two minutes of conversation; it drastically improves their chances.)

But body language — specifically our control over it — can also be quite conscious. By identifying the habits you have that don't serve you well and adopting new habits that increase the engagement factor with other people, you can consciously improve your body language — and hence your communication skills. At first some of the techniques in this article might seem awkward or forced, but most often it's only you who feels that way, since you're changing an ingrained habit. Keep it up, and you'll be naturally socializing like a star in no time.

Body Language Caveats

Before we get into the specific methods of improving your body language, remember that no one gesture is universal. Although crossed arms can signal a communication blockage, it could also be necessary for warmth or simply a comfortable way to hold your arms. Rubbing your eyes could signify frustration, or it could just mean you're tired or have an itch. Try not to read into body language (yours or others') too much or too literally.

Culture also plays a part in body language. Some cultures respect personal space more than others, so proximity guidelines would be different depending on who you are dealing with. Other cultures view eye contact as a threat and lack of respect, and not the sign of confidence that many Western cultures view it as.

16 Ways to Improve Body Language

Here are 16 ways to understand and improve your own body language.

1. Be Aware

The first step to body language improvement is awareness. Start to pay attention to everything you do, and when you do it. The other day, I noticed I play with my earring when talking to certain people or about certain topics; with that realization I can better understand why I do it and what it means. Awareness is half the battle.

2. Study Others

Look at other people — especially people you admire. How do they hold themselves? What can you learn from them?

3. Mirror the Other Person

If you are sitting or standing opposite somebody, mirror their body positions, match their tone, and carry the same pace of conversation. Don't do it in an obvious or unnatural fashion. Even subtle mirroring can create a synergy and connection, and after a while you'll both be doing it naturally — you won't even know who is following who!

4. Be Aware of How You Cross Your Arms and Legs

Many people find crossing arms or legs comfortable, so it's no use to say you can't do it. If you want to cross your legs, that's okay; just be aware of the direction your cross them in, and make sure you cross towards your conversation partner. Beware: crossing your legs in a "figure four" fashion with your ankle resting on your knee can be seen as being stubborn or arrogant.

Also, be aware of other ways of creating crosses with your body; women often grab their opposite shoulder or elbow, or people hold a drink on the table using the opposite hand: these are signs of a lack of confidence or closing your body (and mind) to the conversation.

5. Make Eye Contact

Eyes are windows to the soul, and what you do with them communicates a lot. Be sensitive to cultures that eschew eye contact with elders or strangers; otherwise don't be afraid to look somebody in the eye. Not only will you say a lot by doing so, but you might also learn a lot.

6. Relax Your Shoulders

Holding your shoulders by your ears is a sign of tension, and stands to put your conversation partner on edge as well.

7. Don't Slouch

Although sitting ram-rod straight might be a forced exaggeration, make sure you're not slouching. Your back — and social life — will benefit.

8. Face Your Conversation Partner

Similar to crossing arms and legs, not facing your conversation partner is a sign of distraction or disinterest. You'll increase engagement by facing your partner, and...

9. Lean In

Have you ever had a conversation that you're both really enthusiastic about? You'll probably notice you both are lively, and leaning in towards each other.

10. Mind Your Fidgeting

I'm a sucker for playing with my drink, or straw, an earring, or a bottle cap — with what I affectionately refer to as a "tactile fixation." But it can be a sign of nervousness and, at the very least, a distraction for others.

Also watch out for touching your face or running your hands through your hair.

11. Don't Tilt Your Head (Too Much)

Although a slight tilt of your head can indicate interest, too much of a head tilt (women are the main culprits for this) indicates submissiveness.

12. Don't End Sentences with Upswings

Although intonation isn't quite body language, it warrants mentioning since it's part of the subconscious messages we communicate. Ending your sentences like questions indicates a lack of confidence in what you're saying, which does nothing to instill others' confidence in you.

13. Go for a Firm or Matching Handshake

Don't squeeze the life out of your new acquaintance, but a nice firm handshake feels good. I tend to try to match my acquaintance's handshake (like mirroring) — except for wet fishes. I just can't do it.

14. Know Where Your Hands Are

Holding your arms behind your back with your hands clasped is a sign of confidence. (It also provides you with something for your hands to do if you're a fidgeter! This is great for public speaking.)

Conversely, holding your hands in your pockets might be comfortable, but can also indicate boredom or over-confidence.

15. Sit in an Engaging Position

Unless you're star-crossed lovers gazing into one another's eyes, sitting directly opposite somebody indicates confrontation. It's even worse with a table or desk in between you, which creates a barrier. Instead, try to sit at a 45 degree angle. This provides comfort, space, and still allows you to mirror and engage.

16. Relax!

Now that you're probably hyper-aware of everything you do and don't do, take a deep breath and relax. Adjusting your body language might feel unnatural at first, so don't force it too much. With a dose of awareness and applying these techniques gently over time, you'll communicate everything you want to with your words as well as your body.

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This article is from Nora Dunn of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

Seven Ways to be the Life of Every Party

Nora Dunn — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 00:00:59 +0000

Have you ever been to a party where there’s this one person who seems to make it around the room? They flit from group to group, leaving everybody craving more but yet not feeling unsatisfied by the brief chat they had.

“Oh _______, aren’t they marvelous?” party-goers croon. “I’d love to get to know them better.”

How would you like to be that person? Here are a few tips to help you become the life of every party, without requiring that you step outside of your comfort zone or change your personality.

Ask Questions

This is the single biggest ticket to making people think you are the most engaging and interesting person in the world. Get them to talk about themselves!

As much as people will feign interest in other party-goers’ lives and stories, the truth is that most people find “number one” to be the most important and fascinating phenomenon. If you continue to ask the right questions to keep them talking, they’ll rarely run out of things to say.

And how do you ask the right questions?

Listen

Studies have shown over and over again that people engaged in conversation hear only a fraction of what is being said to them because they’re formulating what they want to say next. Communication ultimately breaks down when neither party is actually listening to the other, and all of a sudden nobody remembers what the thread of the conversation was really about. Cue in the “awkward pause”.

By listening – really listening – and not worrying about your response to what they are saying, you will inevitably get more than enough information to continue to the conversation. Continue to ask questions based on what they are saying, and keep them talking.

Smile

It seems silly, but people will want to talk to somebody who smiles at them. It suggests an openness to communication, and will immediately put them at ease.

Make Eye Contact

Looking directly at your conversation partner is important. Make them feel that they are the only person in the room. So even if your chat is brief, they will be made to feel that it was intense and meaningful. If you spend the whole conversation looking past them or keeping an eye on the door to see if somebody more interesting is arriving, the conversation was wasted and your partner’s pride and self-confidence will likely take a hit.

Face Your Partner

Body language is 90% of the game, so right along with smiling and maintaining eye contact is squaring off with them. You can take this even further by mirroring their actions. No really. Mirror them. You’ll find that they won’t notice (as long as you’re not mirroring them doing something silly or overt like jumping jacks!), and subconsciously it creates a very deep connection.

Take Interest

You do have to have some sort of interest in what your conversational partner is saying in order for the steps above to flow and work. If you cannot bring yourself to take the slightest interest in what they are saying, then it’s time to move on.

Know When to Move On

Have you ever been at a party, sucked into a dark corner of the room, and had your ear talked off by somebody? You glance sideways at passers by and other groups, wondering what they’re talking about. Surely they’re engaged in a more interesting conversation than yours. It’s time to move on.

There are many ways to politely excuse yourself. The most obvious techniques involve external influences: the need to use the washroom, get a drink, or meet up with somebody you haven’t seen in ages who seems to be looking for you. (“mom? Is that you?”)

And if you are truly cornered by a blabbermouth with no end in sight, then you may have to simply interrupt them to make your escape. Do it nicely, and with a smile, and although the initial interruption may feel abrupt, they’ll understand and soon forget your exit once they corner somebody else.

If you want to have lots of conversations and don’t want to run off to the washroom every time you are ready to move on, then the art of working a room comes into play. Although it takes some practice and is an acquired skill, eventually it can become almost natural.

A professional networker I once knew said that if you are really trying to work a large room, you should stay in conversation for 2-5 minutes, no longer. I personally don’t find that long enough to generate a real connection with somebody, and would rather speak with fewer people and have more meaningful conversations (mine last 5-10 minutes on average at a large party). It ultimately depends on the type of function you are attending, how many people are there, and how well people know one another.

The truth is if you are asking all the questions, you can engineer the conversation to come to an end. Find a way to bring some conclusion to the topic you are discussing, by asking a question that gets your partner to tie up or summarize their situation. Once they have finished answering that question, smile and genuinely express interest in their reply and wish them luck. Say you see somebody else who you need to speak to and you want to catch them before they leave, and express interest in continuing the conversation a little later if you can. (No promises).

So there you have it. You don’t have to share stories of epic adventure with song and dance in order to be the life of a party. You just have to get other people to do it. They’ll love sharing their stories, and you’ll likely have a great time yourself by virtue of listening to them. You’ll learn a lot, generate awesome connections, make friends, and be “that person” that everybody knows and enjoys talking to.

The next time you go to a party, try these techniques. Just try them. Even if it feels a little forced to begin with, you’ll get into the flow and it will be a piece of cake from there on in.

This article is from Nora Dunn of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread: