patience

Do You Have These Key Character Traits for Investing Success?

Toni Husbands — Fri, 22 Jun 2018 08:30:23 +0000

Warren Buffett, the Oracle of Omaha, summed up the key to investing success like this: "Once you have ordinary intelligence, what you need is the temperament to control the urges that get other people into trouble in investing."

Let's say you and I have ordinary intelligence and want to improve our investing chops. What are the traits that make for a great investor?

Compassion

Hollywood is awash with stories of money men who live by this mantra: "Greed is good." The Gordon Gekko character is burned into our collective memories for life. From The Boiler Room to The Wolf of Wall Street, we get it — the industry is full of sharks.

It turns out, sharkiness may work against you in the world of finance.

A study published by the Society for Personality and Social Psychology looked at the behavior of hedge fund managers over a decade. Managers with psychopathic, narcissistic, or Machiavellian personalities underperformed their peers by 1 percent annually. Over time, their ruthless approach to decision making added up to notable losses.

By avoiding aggressive instincts and underhanded tendencies, we can focus on developing the positive, compassionate traits that have helped billionaire investors like Warren Buffett and George Soros achieve amazing results. This means leaving the shady, cunning type of investor to Hollywood. (See also: The 5 Best Pieces of Financial Wisdom From Warren Buffett)

Optimism

Some people avoid investing altogether because they believe they'll never succeed at it. That mentality can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Make no mistake; if you never take the plunge into investing, you're guaranteed to never see any returns.

Believing that you have the ability to be successful at investing and building wealth is the frame of mind you should always strive for. Whether you endeavor to develop the skills and DIY your approach to investing, or seek the services of a qualified money manager, believing in your ability to make sound financial decisions will help you move forward.

Optimism can be hard to sustain, but immersing yourself in a world of productive investment information has never been easier. Connect with groups through Facebook, browse personal finance websites, and follow the advice of investors with a track record of long-term success. Seeing your glass as half-full is great for the bottom line. (See also: 6 Confidence-Inspiring Facts About the Stock Market)

Patience

Successful billionaires like Warren Buffett take a long-term approach to investing. "Our favorite holding period is forever," he's quoted as saying. Patience will help you avoid reacting rashly to groupthink surrounding market fluctuations or hyperbolic headlines predicting the end of life as we know it. You may have done some research and found that the stock market's average annual return is 7 percent when you look at any 10-year period. This information feeds your optimism, and therefore you're willing to be patient. And your patience will help you keep a long-term perspective.

Goal-orientation

Since investing success requires a long-term perspective, goal-oriented people tend to have a leg up in this arena. Staying focused on the end goal helps you avoid distractions. Deciding whether you're investing for retirement, to purchase a house, or to save for a child's college fund will determine your best course of action. Setting interim goals, like completing an investing for beginners class or interviewing three financial planners, keeps goal-oriented people on the path to desired results.

Levelheadedness

Do you keep a cool head when everyone around you is in meltdown mode? Do you immediately default to the next steps required in the midst of a crisis? Your levelheaded temperament may easily be the most important personality predictor of success with investing, not your intellect. That is according to Mr. Warren Buffett.

Panic in the markets can be contagious; especially when our hard-earned cash is at stake. Your ability to remain calm in the face of short-term fluctuations will lead to better decisions and opportunities that investors who follow the crowd may overlook. (See also: 6 Investment Truths to Remember When the Stock Market Is Down)

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This article is from Toni Husbands of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

7 Underrated Skills That Will Help You in Any Job

Kentin Waits — Tue, 19 Jun 2018 08:30:25 +0000

When it comes to employment, degrees, training, and experience matter. Still, not everything employees have to offer was learned behind a desk. There are soft skills and subtle personality traits that can enrich and transform any workplace — from a basement bike shop, to a billion-dollar investment firm. Though they're tough to list on a resume, here are seven underrated skills that will help you no matter what your job. (See also: 15 Soft Skills Every Employer Values)

1. Empathy

It's a fact we sometimes forget: The world of work is populated by humans. Sure, we all strive to appear cool and collected, but sometimes the veneer cracks. People who are able to listen, understand, and offer empathy bring real value to the workplace. These folks tend to be expert communicators (especially across cultural barriers). When managing people, they often develop a loyal following that improves teamwork and productivity. (See also: This One Skill Can Make You a Better Boss)

2. Patience

In our competitive culture, aggression is usually considered an indispensable business skill. But there's something to be said for those of us who don't live on hyper-drive. Patience gives us room to weigh options, consider outcomes, and develop strategies that are based on real information instead of reflex. For managers, patience helps build a healthy team atmosphere and nurture employee talent.

3. Eloquence

Eloquence is the art of expressing thoughts and ideas clearly. Beyond demonstrating intelligence and insight, it's an essential part of tact and diplomacy. Knowing what to say and how to say it can help you navigate the choppy waters of office politics, avoid unnecessary conflict, and calm irate customers. (See also: 25 Ways to Communicate Better Today)

4. Curiosity

Why is curiosity so powerful? Because it's only satisfied by acquiring more knowledge. Curiosity keeps us asking "Why?" and inspires us to look for smarter solutions to everyday problems. Curious employees are more inclined to take initiative, seek out additional training, and pursue professional development opportunities.

5. Creativity

Creativity makes innovation possible. In every job, creative thinking can help you spot (and correct) inefficiencies, develop smarter (and cheaper) processes, and design new products and services that improve lives. That's not just a soft-skill; it's a hard asset that every employer is hungry for. (See also: Boost Your Creativity: 9 Surprising Ways to Generate New Ideas)

6. Adaptability

No matter what your career path, one thing is certain: The road won't always be smooth. Companies reorganize, technologies change, and old industries are constantly disrupted. Embrace the chaos. Being adaptable helps you survive — and sometimes even thrive — in this new reality.

7. Good etiquette

In the nation that invented informality, good manners get noticed. Making proper introductions, practicing basic dining etiquette, ensuring that every email contains a salutation and a closing, and silencing electronic devices during meetings — these small overtures demonstrate a level of professional refinement that can win over new clients and advance your career.

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This article is from Kentin Waits of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

7 Money Lessons I Learned From Martial Arts

Sarah Winfrey — Thu, 26 May 2016 10:30:04 +0000

People tell me all the time that it's hard to believe I studied martial arts for six years. I don't know if that's a compliment or an insult to my training, but it doesn't matter — I loved the time I spent learning how to discipline my body and my mind.

That's the thing about martial arts: It looks like a sport (and it is), but it's so much more. I learned all sorts of things about life and living it and being a good person, all from my time spent in the dojo. (See also: 5 Things Yoga Can Teach You About Money)

I even learned about money. Yup, money. Here are some financial lessons I learned from studying martial arts.

1. Be Aware of Your Surroundings

As I became a martial artist, I became more and more aware of my surroundings. No matter where I was, I started to notice people — what they were doing, whether it seemed normal, how I felt around them, everything. My sensei drilled it into us: Be aware, be aware, be aware. After all, if it comes down to it, you may not have a chance to use your training if you don't notice what is going on around you.

I apply this to my money all the time. By keeping track of what we spend on a weekly basis, I have a good handle on whether or not we are achieving our goals. I also know how much we have available for an emergency and whether something like an odd charge or a bank mistake needs to be handled. My finances don't get away from me because I'm always aware of where we stand.

2. Discipline, Discipline, Discipline

Another concept that is huge in martial arts is discipline. It seems a little strange and unnecessary at first, but students soon learn that, without discipline, they will never be the martial artists they want to be.

Similarly, discipline is essential for achieving my financial goals. If I want to go to Mexico this year, I can't buy every shirt or art print or doodad that comes along. So I keep my goal in mind and I use the discipline I learned as a martial artist to progress towards the things that really matter to me.

3. Breathe Through It

Martial artists learn to breathe as they move. They also learn certain types of breath for certain types of movements and situations. And they learn to calm themselves, to still themselves, simply by paying attention to their own breath.

Breath helps me financially all the time. When I want something but I know it's not in the budget, I breathe through it. When something bad happens and we have to spend a lot unexpectedly, I take a couple of deep breaths. When I'm worried about our money, when something doesn't seem right with our balances, when the market plummets, I breathe.

In all of these situations, breathing helps me make good decisions. It slows me down, calms my body and my mind, and helps me think, rather than just react. It's become second nature now to breathe first when money is an issue.

4. Clear Your Mind

It might sound like a cliche, but a clear mind is essential to being a good martial artist. You have to clear your mind to focus on the one move that is right in front of you, to respond to what your sparring partner is sending your way, and to let your body do what it is trained to do.

I have found that it helps me to have a clear mind, too, when trying to solve financial problems. When the budget feels like a tangle, when my husband and I have competing financial goals, when some unexpected expense comes up and we aren't sure how to cover it, I strive for that same clearness of mind. It helps me see solutions that I might not have seen otherwise, and it helps me to take a larger perspective, one in which a single disagreement or setback isn't the end of the world.

5. Sometimes Pain Is Acceptable

Martial artists experience pain. It's not only the sore muscles that come from practice and learning new techniques, but the bruises that come from sparring and breaking, rolling and more. While no one condones long-term injury, most martial artists accept these as par for the course: The bruises are necessary to grow as a practitioner.

Sometimes, our financial decisions hurt, too. The pain can be small, like choosing to pay a bill rather than go out on the weekend. Or it can be much bigger, like choosing to help an ailing parent rather than purchase a home. Financial decisions also hurt when they are proven to be mistakes, when we feel like we set ourselves back.

This pain, while uncomfortable, helps form who we are. It not only forms us financially, but as whole human beings. Whether we hurt from making a right choice or a wrong one, learning is part of the financial process, and sometimes pain can be acceptable towards that goal.

6. You Can Do More Than You Think You Can Do

Most people (and I say this having been a student and a teacher) come into martial arts wondering if they can really do it. They've seen the movies and it looks impossible, but for whatever reason they are motivated to try. Most of them find that, while they will probably never be Bruce Lee (or even Jackie Chan!), they can do a lot more than they had once thought.

I've found that this belief — that I can do more than I think I can do — helps me financially, too. There have been times when we were sure we couldn't make ends meet on our income, when we desperately needed a vacation or a car and thought we couldn't do it. And each time I was able to step into believing that there had to be a way, because I'd seen it happen before, during my martial arts journey. We solved each of those problems, which only gave us more confidence in our financial prowess.

7. Progress Comes Slow and Steady

Most martial arts have an established path that takes a person from beginner to expert and beyond. It's a slow path, with motions and movements building on one another in a way that is logical and allows the body time to accustom itself to these new patterns of movement. Some people get frustrated with this, wanting to learn faster or do all the cool stuff right away.

It doesn't work that way with martial arts and it doesn't work that way with money, either. Wealth is built one investment at a time. It is built by making one wise decision after another. Most of us won't get rich in a year or two, but we can build our value and our savings the way martial artists are built: slow and steady.

Have you ever done something that wasn't directly financially related but taught you about money? What did you do and what did you learn?

This article is from Sarah Winfrey of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

8 Ways Being Patient Saves You Money

Kentin Waits — Fri, 11 Sep 2015 15:00:30 +0000

We all know that patience is a powerful virtue. It helps us get ahead in our careers, be better parents and partners, and avoid unnecessary conflict in nearly every area of life. Patience can even save us money. Here are eight ways going zen before you spend can help your budget:

1. You Have Time to Check Consumer Reviews

Informed consumers are smart consumers. Patience gives buyers a chance to compare features and prices, read online consumer reviews, explore product ratings on non-profit sites like Consumer Reports, and get the very best deal possible. It may sound cynical, but some manufacturers have built their livelihoods on selling junk to uninformed "gotta-have-it-now" buyers. Don't be one of them.

2. You Have Time to Decide If You Really Need It

Impatient consumers are led by their hearts and have trouble avoiding impulse spending. How many times have you purchased an item on impulse only to later ask yourself "What was I thinking?" Being patient gives you time to consider (and reconsider) if you truly need what you're tempted to buy.

3. You Can Wait for a Sale

Don't you relish that moment when the stars align and something you really want or need goes on sale? Sadly, impatient folks never get to experience that natural high. They simply can't wait and their impatience costs them cold hard cash.

4. You Might Find it Used

There are many reasons why buying used is better, and saving money is just one of them. A few years ago, I was dangerously close to forking over $3,000 for a new Tempurpedic mattress. Instead, I took a deep breath and gave myself a few months to find a better deal. Amazingly, I spotted one for sale on Craigslist. A newlywed couple had received the queen-sized mattress as a wedding gift (what an amazing gift, right?) and didn't like it. Though technically second-hand, it was still in the factory plastic wrap. It's the best $1,000 I've ever spent.

5. You Can Explore Alternatives

Several years ago, I was decorating my new condo and stumbled upon a limited edition lithograph that I loved in one of those big chain galleries at the mall. It was out of my price range by several hundred dollars, but I crafted all sorts of justifications for the splurge. Luckily, I hesitated just long enough to be invited to a local art fair where I found an original painting that I loved even more — for one-third the price. A bit of inadvertent patience saved me hundreds, helped me support a struggling independent artist, and allowed me to discover a wonderful original image that I'll treasure for years.

6. You Might Get it as a Gift

If there's an item you want or need, add it to your holiday wish list or drop a few subtle hints in advance of a birthday, housewarming party, or similar gift-giving occasion. Sure, it's not the most evolved money-saving strategy, but often our friends and family are looking for just the perfect gift and would welcome reasonable suggestions.

7. You Can Wait for the Release of a New Model

Our consumer machine is constantly churning out smaller, sleeker, and faster models of the same product you must have right now. If you're patient enough, wait for the new and improved model to be released and then buy the original version at a deep discount.

8. You Can Save up and Avoid Finance Charges

Putting your impulse purchases on pause gives you time to save up and pay cash. Avoiding interest charges, potential late fees, and overdraft dings makes a patient approach even smarter. In fact, there are loads of reasons why using cash-only rocks.

In our act-fast, don't wait, while-supplies-last world, patience is a rare quality. Retailers encourage us to buy now and think later because they realized a long time ago that emotion moves products. Patient people spend less and when we do spend, we make better purchasing decisions. When it comes to my money and my budget, impulse has its place, but patience rules the day.

Do you consider yourself a patient person? How has being patient helped you save money?

This article is from Kentin Waits of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

Are You a Hothead? 10 Things Patient People Never Say

Paul Michael — Fri, 12 Sep 2014 11:00:06 +0000

From time to time, we are all guilty of getting flustered by something. Or someone.

However, some people have this ability to keep calm under pressure, and remain patient almost all of the time. These people seem to have an enviable sense of self-control, and yet it's not what they say that makes them so calm; it's what they don't say. (See also: Are You a Doormat? 17 Things Assertive People Never Say)

Here are 10 things you will never hear a truly patient person say.

1. "I Hate…"

…you! I hate this! I hate my life! I hate this job. I hate, I hate, I hate.

The definition given by Merriam Webster is "intense hostility and aversion, usually deriving from fear, anger, or sense of injury. Extreme dislike or antipathy. Loathing." Seems a bit too strong now, doesn't it? Patient people don't let themselves get to that level of frustration. They don't succumb to hatred, and they don't yell it out. Sure, they're not perfect, but they don't give in to that very negative emotion. They certainly don't vent it to people they love, live, or work with. Life is too short to hate anyone or anything, but if you must hate something, at least be constructive about it (announcing your hate to the world isn't).

2. "Just Who Do You Think You Are?!"

Oooh, you can feel the sense of self-righteousness oozing from that particular phrase!

When people say that, what they're really saying is: "I am more important than you," or "my opinion matters more than yours does." It's a blatant attempt to belittle someone and put them in their place. Ironically, this simple but baggage-filled phrase has the opposite effect. Instead of belittling someone, it serves to show everyone within earshot just what kind of person you are by saying it. A patient person, upon hearing that, will know they have already won the argument.

3. "I Want It!"

Remember Verruca Salt, the rich kid from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory? She did a lot of wanting, and a lot of demanding. Want, want, want.

A patient person won't feel the need to want or demand things in such a way. Yes, they want to come to a resolution, but instead of saying, "I want this resolved," they'll say, "let's find a way to resolve this." The latter feels more inclusive while the former is a demand given to fulfill the wishes of the individual. If you're saying "I want" a lot (or in some cases, screaming it) you are a definitely in the hothead zone.

4. "This Isn't Fair!"

What isn't fair? That the situation is not going how you expected, or that you're not getting your own way? The whole concept of fairness is actually quite subjective. What's fair to one person may not seem fair to another, and that even comes to laws (just ask friends or relatives about marijuana laws and watch the arguments commence). When you start saying, "this isn't fair," you're starting to sound like a petulant child… the biggest hotheads of all.

5. "Give It to Me"

Talk about a demand. Whether it's an actual physical object, or simply a phrase or admission of something, making this kind of demand feels like a hold up or ransom. People do not respond well to orders being barked at them in this way. Patient people know this, and realize that such demands will not help them settle any kind of argument. Not win, by the way. Patient people are also much more open to compromise. It's not about winning or losing, it's about reaching an accord.

6. "…Or Else"

If you have ever ended a phrase with "or else," you are really in hothead territory. It's a threat, pure and simple, and patient people have neither the drive nor inclination to issue threats. What exactly are you going to do anyway?

"I want that report in 30 minutes, or else!"

Wow, is that the best you can do? People who say that don't realize that these kinds of threats fall on deaf ears. They are often shouted, and 99% of the time the issuer of the threat will not follow through anyway. It's just a way to sound more important. Don't use this one. Ever.

7. "You Always Do That"

There are two great words that I learned in my early days as a copywriter (it never came up until then for some reason). Those words are "platitudes" and "hyperbole." Platitudes, or clichés, are not required by patient people very often. Hyperbole, or over-exaggeration, is used even less. When you say something like "you always do that," you are making a massive, sweeping statement that is fundamentally untrue. No one always does anything (apart from living and breathing). "You always take her side," or "you never honor these deals" are lies. And once you start lying, you're becoming a hothead.

8. "I Don't Have Time for This"

It may seem obvious that a patient person wouldn't say that, but this goes beyond a simple statement of availability. What people really mean when they say that is: "this is beneath me," or "this is not worth my time." And the latter is in line with other statements mentioned in this article. Namely, it puts yourself on a pedestal, and makes those around you not worthy of your time. Patient people won't say it even if they really don't have the physical time needed to talk it through. Saying "I don't have time" is dismissive of the other person's needs, and that is another surefire way to become a hothead.

9. "Get Out!"

When you demand that someone leaves your presence, you are issuing an order. Regardless of where, or when, this occurs, it's rude and aggressive to say this. Patient people may want you to leave, but they will usually say something calmly like "can we continue this at another time please?" By throwing out a command, you are being an abusive hothead.

10. "Everyone Is Out to Get Me"

Last, but not least, is the sympathy vote. Also known as martyrdom, hotheads will often play the self-pity card as a last resort. "Everyone hates me," or "you never liked me anyway" are blanket statements thrown out to make the other person feel guilt and sympathy. It is manipulative and a low blow, and if you do it, you are definitely a hothead.

What did we miss? Are there signs of hotheadedness that should be on this list? Let us know in comments. Please.

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This article is from Paul Michael of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

10 Ways to Stop Being Impatient and Live a More Satisfied Life

Kentin Waits — Wed, 26 Mar 2014 09:48:20 +0000

Do you recognize this scenario?

You're running late for work on a Monday morning; you've been stuck in traffic with a steady stream of emails coming in; and now you find yourself mired in a long, glacially-slow line at the grocery store? Scenes like these are all too common in modern life and they test the outermost limits of our patience. Fortunately, even in a world that's as rushed and demanding as ours, you can still cultivate the virtue of patience over time. Here are 10 simple techniques that will help you increase your patience and find your Zen. (See also: Easy Ways to Banish Stress)

1. Meditate Daily

There's mounting evidence that practicing meditation provides a broad range of benefits. If you practice meditation regularly over time, you'll reap the rewards of an inner calmness that won't be easily shaken by minor mishaps in daily life. Best of all, you can start meditating today for free with no special equipment.

2. Unpack Huge Tasks

Find a way to break down your larger goals into smaller and more manageable tasks that feed your mood with a sense of steady accomplishment. For example, if you want to lose weight, you can celebrate a small victory with each workout you complete or every healthy meal you eat. When you remember that little wins add up to big successes, you won't get as impatient with yourself for losing a battle every now and then. (See also: How to Achieve All Your Goals)

3. Focus on What You Can Control

When you feel like you're about to boil over, try putting that feeling into words. If one of the words that comes to mind is "should" or "ought to," you may be demanding too much from the situation or placing the blame on someone else. Rather than test your patience by defining situations with "should" or "ought to," try building patience by thinking in terms of "could." Consider the other possibilities you could pursue in an effort to solve the problem or work through a challenge. In other words, focus on the things you can control rather than on the things or people you can't.

4. Don't React — Distract

Sometimes the best way to deal with frustrating situations is to focus on something other than your brewing irritation. Play a game of mental scavenger hunt using your surroundings. For example, if you're bumper-to-bumper in a traffic jam, rearrange the letters and numbers of the license plates around you to make funny words or phrases (this game also helps distract irritable kids). If you're stuck in a long line at the grocery store, discretely review the food selections of the person in front of you. Can you tell what's on their dinner menu? What could you make with the same ingredients?

5. Eat Slowly

Charles Courtemanche is an economist whose research shows that eating slowly is a way to reduce impulsive behavior, thereby making you a more patient person. To reap the most rewards, practice eating slowly with a simple, healthy meal you prepare yourself. (See also: 25 Simple and Easy Meals)

6. Sleep Tight

Not getting enough good quality sleep keeps us on edge and makes us more susceptible to losing our cool. Fortify your patience by giving yourself the advantage of a good night's rest that is built around at least seven hours of uninterrupted sleep.

7. Practice Gratitude

Since gratitude can improve our health, practice thankfulness to counter negative moods and impatience. The next time something isn't going your way, try to recall and be thankful for all the times things have gone right in the past. You might even find yourself being grateful for the opportunity to meet the challenge at hand!

8. Find a Slow Hobby

Exercise your patience muscles with hobbies that build results over time. Knitting, painting, sculpture, and bonsai are relatively inexpensive ways to explore your creative side and build patience and mindfulness. As a bonus, practicing these crafts will likely result in beautiful object or two. You might even make a family heirloom in the process of becoming more patient.

Need to de-stress now and don't have a slow hobby at the ready? Try these 20 inexpensive ways to relieve stress and live in the moment.

9. Know When to Hold 'Em

It's easier to live with feelings of discomfort if you can convince yourself that it's for a good cause. When you get impatient, reconnect yourself with the motives that put you in the situation. If you think those motives are worthy enough, then try embracing the discomfort as a small price to pay for a larger reward.

10. Know When to Fold 'Em

When possible, draw a clear boundary around chaotic situations and decide when it's time to call it quits. Knowing where the finish line is (or what your limits are, if no finish line presents itself) can help you better deal with challenges. It also gives you some control over perceived losses — you can feel satisfied in conceding defeat when you're certain that you've given it your very best shot. (See also: How to Know When to Quit)

Cultivating patience is a process — one that isn't reinforced very often by our hectic world and 24/7/365 lifestyles. But even though patience may be hard to come by these days, it's certainly worth pursuing. And the rewards couldn't be sweeter: less stress, fewer sleepless nights, better health, and an attitude of peace that will be a natural draw to the curious frazzled people around you.

How do you cope with frustrating situations that challenge your patience? How do you teach patience to your children?

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This article is from Kentin Waits of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

And...Breathe: Become More Patient in 9 Easy Steps

Julie Rains — Fri, 25 May 2012 10:36:08 +0000

Patience is a virtue, or so you’ve heard. But if you’re like me, you wonder how patience could benefit you, not just the people who seem to relentlessly and persistently demand patience while seemingly causing unnecessary delays in a fast-moving world.

Eventually, though, you’ll discover that impatience can thwart your otherwise deserving efforts, interfere with reaching your goals, and cause trouble. When exercised at the right times and in the right ways, patience can not only augment forward movement but also build respect for you and your decisions.

Cultivating patience is easier than you may think, but it requires getting perspective in the heat of crises and frustration of everyday life. Here are steps I have taken to develop the sort of patience that is virtuous and pays off. (See also: Friends and Goals: Don't Let a Blue Falcon Bring You Down)

Practicing Patience

The best way to cultivate patience is to practice patience. That is, pretend to have patience, and see what happens.

The more you test acting patient in various scenarios, the better you become at discerning when patience is necessary for desired outcomes or when aggressive action is the right way to get things done, when being patient commands esteem or when agility wins favor, when being patient helps you to gain support or when quick decisiveness gets you noticed.

1. Make Progress Toward Your Goal

Don't mistake patience with tolerance for inaction. True patience is working while you wait. This process should involve regular evaluation of whether the tasks you are doing or waiting for someone else to complete are going to deliver the results you want.

2. Realize That Setbacks Can Move You Closer to Your Goal

Setbacks are frustrating and can lead you to lose patience, not acquire it. Very often, though, mistakes you make, rejections you receive, confusion that arises, and support you don't win gives you insights that help move you closer to whatever outcome you desire. Setbacks, then, are not simply delays. They are signposts that can guide you to your destination.

When things don’t happen or unfold as planned, consider what happened. Figure out if you misread a situation, overestimated the strength of a supporter, needed more information, etc. Revise your approach and keep moving.

3. Get a Handle on a Typical Wait Time

To become patient, you should have a general idea of how long things should take. For example, there are commonly accepted timeframes from request to response for many situations, such as a marriage proposal (immediate), thank-you letter for a new job (1-3 days), or a prototype request (a week or longer).

Your expectations should have some basis in reality. Ask friends and experts to figure out what is considered reasonable for a waiting period.

4. Decide If You Really Want to Wait

Figure out whether you are willing to wait for whatever time is required. If "yes," wait patiently with the understanding that the timeline may be longer than you had anticipated. Re-evaluate your decision to be patient if things are not moving along at a reasonable pace.

If you are not willing to wait but want to try a plan B, remember that you may still not get what you want when you want it. Plus, you may find that quality standards may be lower and prices could be higher if you choose the fastest possible method, with notable exceptions like instant downloads and express delivery.

Or you may abandon a particular goal or desire altogether if the wait is too long. There is no shame in not being patient and waiting for something that you later realize you don't really want.

5. Take Time to Process New Information

When confronted with a new challenge, an unfamiliar scenario, or an unclear assignment, take your time to devise a well-conceived plan. Such planning typically involves researching an opportunity, learning what others have done in similar situations, and determining what’s novel about your challenge. It also requires investing significant amounts of time to absorb information, process new ideas, and, finally, connect the dots to craft a breakthrough solution.

Remember that rushing doesn’t help. Impulsiveness causes you to move along too quickly, later making you hesitate at critical points that require swift action and making you uncertain when decisiveness is needed. Be patient with yourself as you learn, absorb, adapt, strategize, plan, and execute.

6. Learn How Being Rushed Can Threaten Success

Notice how moving too fast can compromise success of an endeavor. While many people (claim to) work well under pressure, most need sufficient time to get things done right. That often means that you must patiently wait for your turn or allot plenty of time for whatever you are trying to accomplish.

For example, acting too quickly may mean that you don’t take the time to...

Research home prices or review home inspection reports before snapping up a new property listing that you later learn is overpriced.
Compare benefit packages and corporate cultures associated with two different job offers before accepting one that isn’t a good fit with your work style and personal needs.
Teach a new skill or technique to a friend, coworker, or child, taking shortcuts that lead to mistakes and long-term learning problems.
Get to know someone before taking significant steps toward a long-term relationship, preventing you from laying a foundation of mutual trust.

7. Look for the Right Moment

Become aware of the right moment to bring up a sensitive issue with a friend or coworker. By refraining from an aggressive confrontation and waiting until the person comes to you for advice or the topic emerges as a concern, you may be able to more fully capture this person’s attention and maintain a friendly relationship.

When the time is right, weave your talking point into a conversation. Perhaps your friend is confounded by his child or a coworker is frustrated with her boss. Get both attention and appreciation as you problem-solve, rather than challenging them before they are ready to listen.

8. Enjoy What’s Happening Now

Learn to enjoy your present state, the time before your goals are realized and when there is still uncertainty about whether your efforts will reap benefits. Be grateful for what you have right now, show pride in your accomplishments to date, revel in whatever you are learning and doing, and plan for rather than fret about the future.

9. Don’t Worry What Other People Think

When you demonstrate patience, onlookers — including your friends, family members, bosses, coworkers, and customers — may think that you are not aggressive enough. They may wonder why you don’t take immediate action, even as they complain about those who act too rashly, make quick decisions without considering all aspects of situation, etc.

At the same time, some people will consider you impatient simply because you insist on moving forward. But after you have cultivated this virtue, remember that you are the best judge of whether you are showing enough or too much patience.

Just recently, I discovered that having the aura of patience can help speed things along. That is, a polite smile despite delays, willingness to wait, etc. encourages people to provide immediate help rather than sending you away to come back another day.

The best thing about having patience, though, is being able to discern when to wait and when to act.

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This article is from Julie Rains of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

9 Simple Ways to Stop Impulse Buying

Meg Favreau — Wed, 21 Mar 2012 10:00:24 +0000

Ah, the impulse purchase — that momentary thriller, that ruiner of budgets. The impulse buy is a nefarious beast. No matter how good we are at saving and living frugally, sometimes, it can be hard to resist that impulse purchase. But fear not! These nine strategies can help. (See also: Is Instant Gratification Financially Responsible?)

1. Follow the Time Rule

I've seen this defined as something as small as the "one hour rule" and as big as the "30 day rule," but the idea is the same — when you see something that you want, make yourself wait a certain amount of time before purchasing it. The longer you can go, the better. If you still strongly want to make the purchase at the end of the time period, only consider doing so then.

2. Don't Shop When Upset

It's easy to look for a product (whether it's food, clothing, or something else) to cheer you up when you're unhappy. One of my worst impulse purchases ever happened at a liquor store. While I was there picking up a bottle of wine for a friend's party, I recieved a call with some bad news. Now, I'm a bit of a cocktail geek — if I'm going to have a drink, I want to enjoy something with good, interesting ingredients — and in an effort to cheer myself up, I purchased three kinds of liqueurs I had been wanting to add to my bar. Oops.

3. Consider Changing How and Where You Shop

One of the things I love about shopping online is that it's much easier to ignore extraneous items — I go to Amazon, put what I need in my cart, and check out. But I know if I try on clothing in a store, I'm much more likely to happen upon a dress that I suddenly really want. The solution? Except for groceries, pharmacy items, and thrift-store finds, I rarely shop in physical stores.

4. Don't Shop With the Wrong People

If you have impulse-happy shopping buddies, it can be easy to let them convince you that all the outfits you just tried on look greaaaat, and you should TOTALLY buy them. If you want to shop socially, do it with people who have also frugal spending habits (and if they happen to be able to tell you when a dress really looks great on you, well, all the better).

5. Give Yourself a Splurge Budget

You're much less likely to make big impulse purchases if you allow yourself some smaller discretionary spending. Whether it's budgeting for one new clothing item a month, allowing yourself a fancy coffee every now and again, or giving yourself spend-it-however-you-want cash, give yourself some room so you don't feel like a penny-pinching miser.

6. Only Buy Things You Can Return

If you really have a problem with impulse purchases, at the very least, buy from stores with good return policies. One impulse spender Nora wrote about made herself take a three-day "Do I really need it?" cooling-off period after a purchase, and then would return several items she bought.

7. Remember to Not Be Fooled by Sales

Sales with huge markdowns can make impulse purchases very tempting. I tend to think of products I've bought on sale as falling into two categories — "I really wanted this" and "Oh, I could use this!" The trick is to only buy things in the first category. For years, half my shoe collection was made up of shoes I only sort of liked, but had found on sale. Remember, if you see a product on sale, you will always save more money if you don't buy it at all.

8. Keep a List of Things You Really Want or Need

That way, if you do see them on sale, you can buy them with confidence.

9. Don't Give Yourself Access to Your Money

Whether it's leaving your credit cards at home or freezing them in a block of ice, you can't make impulse purchases if you don't have the money to do so.

How do you curb impulse spending?

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This article is from Meg Favreau of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

Tech Life: 8 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Be an Early Adopter

Kentin Waits — Tue, 13 Dec 2011 10:36:22 +0000

Early adopters of new technology are, God love ‘em, those folks who are the first to embrace manufacturer innovations in the marketplace. In my day, they were first family on block to get a microwave or a VCR. Today, they’re the first to have an LCD TV or smartphone. These are the consumers that manufacturers dream of and often cater to. They are plugged into tech trends and they don’t mind standing in line or camping out all night to indulge their new-gadget habit. They respond to buzz, and they create buzz. They are product evangelizers and brand ambassadors who reset the standards of everyday technology and they’re responsible, in part, for the embarrassment you feel as you tuck that old flip phone back in your pocket.

But early adoption isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. I think there’s a very real downside to the rush and blush of new technology. So take some comfort in your four-year-old flip phone and that hulking, boxy, analog TV. Here are eight reasons why you shouldn’t be an early adopter. (See also: Frugal Advice for the Gadget Addicted)

1. Higher Prices

New technology means higher retail costs. Efforts to quickly recoup R&D expenses and the factors of supply and demand all skew the price of new devices in favor of the manufacturer. It can take years for market forces to normalize and reflect the real value of an item.

2. Rapid Outdating

A first generation product implies a third and fourth generation. Typically, the greatest technological advancements are reflected in second generation releases. At that point, consumers have had a chance to test the earlier product in the harsh laboratory of everyday life. Speed, energy efficiency, memory, and software choices all tend to improve later on.

3. Kinks and Bugs

Similarly, any kinks and bugs are most glaringly apparent upon a product’s initial release (ala the early antenna issue and short battery life of Apple’s iPhone). Consumers complain and manufacturers correct a product’s shortcomings in later releases.

4. Poor Resale Value

Since the greatest improvements usually happen between a product’s first and second generation, first-gen versions have lower resale value. Just try unloading that early iPod, if you’re not convinced.

5. Low Competition

With their patents firmly in place and other manufacturers scrambling to figure out how to match the wizardry, first generation products have very little competition. Low competition means little choice, and little choice means higher prices for consumers.

6. Buyers Are Uncompensated Testers

Early adopters of new technology become de facto product testers, pointing out bugs and product issues that may or may not be addressed with a first generation patch. I don’t know about you, but I don’t like to work for free — I’ll gladly let someone else use his piggy bank to be a guinea pig.

7. Lower Service Levels

Newly launched products often suffer from minimal service levels since manufacturers can’t always accurately predict popularity or performance. Later versions usually have a more established (and therefore more robust) support infrastructure.

8. Undetermined Usability

Let’s face it — novelty is part of our attraction to new products. The only thing better than getting something new is getting something that’s new to the world. But what do we do when the novelty wears off? How can we be sure the new product will become an indispensable part of our lives, or merely a brief rung on the evolutionary ladder of bigger, better, faster, and more mobile?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not criticizing early adopters or questioning their place in consumer culture. They’re an essential category of willing buyers that lets the rest of us enjoy less expensive and more refined products. I salute the buyers of those early $2,500 LCD TVs and $600 iPhones. You’ve taken the hit that we more cost-conscious consumers just refused to take. We thank you; our wallets thank you.

This article is from Kentin Waits of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

13 Ways To Be Nice That Will Cost You Barely Anything

Julie Rains — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 02:33:23 +0000

It's not expensive to be nice -- in fact, it often costs nothing as Paul mentioned last week. Here are 12 easy ways to be nice that cost zero and a bonus idea that will set you back just a buck or two.

1. Say "take your time" and mean it. Truly, I am not one of those people who wait until the cashier finishes ringing up all purchases before starting to look for a form of payment; my card-sliding, coin-counting (pre-sorted), and button-pressing prowess has not stopped the next in line from pressing forward, snooping over my shoulder as I finish my transactions, clearly violating my space, and acting as if the millisecond of waiting for my receipt shows that I am hopelessly slow and not worthy of occupying a square inch of shopping floor space. Though I am not patient naturally, my disdain for the hurry-uppers has calmed me and seems to be contagious. However, don't take kindness and patience as license to be oblivious to the needs of others.

2. Ask your friends if they want to borrow your stuff, not randomly, but upon detection of a need. For example, I offered my pet carrier to neighbors who needed something to transport a newly adopted dog. My sister-in-law bought the carrier for our family so it seemed natural to share this gift. And, when my son's friend went on his first-ever ski trip, it made sense to offer an extra pair of long underwear; they're expensive to buy and easily outgrown by a teenager. I've also been the beneficiary of a offer when a friend let my family borrow his tent for our first scout camping trip; we've since bought our own but it was nice to test drive one (and let our son decide if he wanted to stick with scouts).

3. Invite someone to join your group: one that meets regularly, such as your book club or mom's group; or an impromptu gathering for a bike ride or potluck dinner. You might be turned down but you also might be surprised, as I have been, at the impact of a quick phone call. I invited someone to my woman's group at church several months ago and was surprised that 1) she had really wanted someone like me to issue an invitation in order to feel welcome and 2) she had been one of the charter members, but had gotten busy over the years with work and single parenthood.

4. Use your turn signal. Judging from my experience on the road, the turn signal is an under-used but highly valuable device. Whether it is a hand movement on a bicycle or a flashing light on a motorized vehicle, the signal tells the world what you intend to do, enabling other drivers to avoid accidents and more easily accommodate your desires.

5. Wave. A friendly wave accomplishes two things: 1) says hello and 2) shows that you acknowledge another person's presence. A cycling buddy waves at cars with drivers who pass carefully and patiently wait at intersections. I have adopted his habit and feel that I have joined a cadre of cycling ambassadors.

6. Tell someone what others think of them. Make sure it's pleasant and accurate. A kind word can change someone's perspective and help forge or reinforce friendships.

7. Wait up especially if you are going on a hike or long walk or are accompanied by someone caring with small children. Having been waited on and having waited for others, I can say that a slower pace can mean more meaningful conversations. There are times, though, that I have asked others to go ahead and wait for me at the finish line.

8. Return things you've borrowed.

9. Respond promptly to invitations. It's okay to say "no" but please do it as quickly as possible.

10. Say "please" and "thank you."

11. Be sensitive. Just because you have...parents to watch your kids while you go to dinner or spend a weekend away...plenty of money for vacations each year...family members with no medical issues...a great career in a profession widely respected...doesn't mean everyone else does.

12. Call or email the parents of your teenagers' friends if you have something important to say. Even the best-raised kids and most well-intentioned parents aren't perfect and don't know everything: you may need to alert them to a major school project, a class registration or scholarship application deadline, unsecured guns in a neighbor's house, or drug possession.

13. Bring extra to share or just share whether you have extra or not. You might bring extra water, Clif bars, or salty nuts on a hiking trip; or a spare tube and Co2 pump on a bike ride. In the past few days, I have seen others share easily knowing that dehydration, tire flats, and such just happen. Being prepared is great; being prepared and understanding is even better. (This one will cost you $1-$2).

Do you have your own way of being nice that costs nearly nothing or less? Please share if you can.

This article is from Julie Rains of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread: