Dating http://www.wisebread.com/taxonomy/term/9130/all en-US 6 Ways Lust Is Keeping You Poor http://www.wisebread.com/6-ways-lust-is-keeping-you-poor <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/6-ways-lust-is-keeping-you-poor" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://wisebread.killeracesmedia.netdna-cdn.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/iStock-471099734.jpg" alt="" title="" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="250" height="142" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p>When you hear the word lust, your mind naturally wanders to sexual desire. But lust goes way beyond that. At the heart of lust is an intense longing for something, be it sex, money, power, possessions, knowledge, war, experience, or as the song goes, life. Sometimes that intense longing is a great motivator, and can drive you to do great things. However, it can also be the root of some serious money problems. Here are seven such examples. How many do you recognize?</p> <h2>1. It Drives You to Buy More Than You Need</h2> <p>An insatiable lust to have the latest, greatest gadgets, clothing, shoes, and other possessions, can leave you in serious financial trouble. For some people, it's not enough to have a good phone. It needs to be the newest model, even if that means replacing a model that's barely six months old.</p> <p>Other people get a rush, and a release of endorphins, when buying new products. They feel a sense of great joy, a thrill, when they purchase items like jewelry, watches, cars, and purses. That thrill, much like the pleasure felt when drinking alcohol or smoking a cigarette, can become addictive. You want to replicate it, and have to keep doing so over and over again. TV shows like <em>Hoarding: Buried Alive</em> have featured people that have rooms filled with clothing, shoes, coats, gadgets, and jewelry that have not only never been used&hellip; they were not even taken out of the shopping bags.</p> <h2>2. It Can Lead to Destructive Addictions</h2> <p>At a base level, lust for sex and sexual imagery has become an increasingly dangerous problem in the U.S., and around the world. Easy, instant access to X-rated materials on the Internet has led to thousands of cases of addiction to this highly stimulating resource. And while it is free on some levels, it can become expensive, especially with monthly subscription fees and webcam model charges. What's worse is that this addiction can spill over into other avenues of life. People become so obsessed that they look up materials at work, leading to disciplinary action and job losses. Relationships suffer, and the abuse of alcohol, marijuana, and even food, leads the addict into a spiraling cycle of defeat and depression.</p> <h2>3. It Can Severely Cloud Your Judgment</h2> <p>When engulfed by lust, your brain is not thinking clearly. And again, this is not just about sexual desire. A prime example of this can be found at any auction, when several people want the same item, and a bidding war breaks out. People who are normally of very sound mind, and who set a price they would not go over before the auction, lose their common sense. They want it. They have to have it. They will go over their limit by hundreds, or even thousands of dollars. Some have described the experience as being in a euphoric fog, which clears and makes way for shame and regret once the furor has died down. You may have experienced something like this yourself, especially if you've done a little gambling in Las Vegas. Lust for money, sex, and power can all lead to some very muddy thinking.</p> <h2>4. It Consumes Your Valuable Time</h2> <p>Lust is one of the <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/topic/seven-deadly-sins?ref=internal" target="_blank">seven deadly sins</a> that can utterly consume your every waking moment. When you are gripped by lust, nothing else matters. Indeed, the very definition of lust contains words like &quot;uncontrollable desire&quot; and &quot;inordinate cravings,&quot; neither of which can be viewed as positive. People under the spell of lust will find themselves constantly performing actions that keep them highly focused on the object of their intense affections, be it a person, a possession, or a promotion. Nothing else matters. Your life, and your existence, bows down to this one overwhelming drive, and you can find it very easy to block out all other aspects of life. Bills don't get paid. Loved ones go ignored. Your performance at work suffers. Your time is being eaten up by one thing, and that can only lead to a loss&hellip; in more ways than one.</p> <h2>5. It Makes You Do Things That Are Out of Character</h2> <p>Someone obsessed by a deep desire for something will start to make decisions that are surprising, or even shocking to friends and family. You have no doubt witnessed it yourself. Perhaps a good friend became infatuated with someone at work, and started to do things that were way out of character; for instance, spending more money on items and pastimes that they would never have done a few months earlier. This is lust at its darkest and most dangerous. When you really want something; when nothing else matters; when the pursuit and possession of something is your only goal; that's when you can momentarily lose yourself and in the process, lose friends, money, opportunities &mdash; even your job.</p> <h2>6. It Can Literally Destroy Your Life</h2> <p>That may sound dramatic, but it's a sad fact. Every year, thousands of people around the world find their lives in ruins due to the domino effect of lust. For some people, they get embroiled in the highly addictive world of adult websites, forking over monthly fees and exposing their credit cards to some very sketchy businesses. Identity theft is common when the victim is engaging in an activity they would rather not let other people find out about. It can be embarrassing to report, and even harder to pursue a claim. Other people lust after things they just cannot have, and get into debt, gamble, take out payday loans, and find themselves in a world of financial hurt. And then there are those who lose friends and family, which can lead to substance abuse and other forms of hardship. At the end of the day, lust is dangerous because it controls you, way more than any other sin. If you don't spot the warning signs early enough, you could find yourself in serious trouble.</p> <br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">This article is from <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/paul-michael">Paul Michael</a> of <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/6-ways-lust-is-keeping-you-poor">Wise Bread</a>, an award-winning personal finance and <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/credit-cards">credit card comparison</a> website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:</div><div class="view view-similarterms view-id-similarterms view-display-id-block_2 view-dom-id-5"> <div class="view-content"> <div class="item-list"> <ul> <li class="views-row views-row-1 views-row-odd views-row-first"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/flashback-friday-42-ways-the-7-deadly-sins-are-keeping-you-poor">Flashback Friday: 42 Ways the 7 Deadly Sins Are Keeping You Poor</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-2 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/flashback-friday-104-sweet-ways-to-celebrate-valentines-day">Flashback Friday: 104 Sweet Ways to Celebrate Valentine&#039;s Day</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-3 views-row-odd"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/make-these-6-relationship-moves-now-or-youll-regret-it-in-20-years">Make These 6 Relationship Moves Now or You&#039;ll Regret It in 20 Years</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-4 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/6-ways-sloth-is-keeping-you-poor">6 Ways Sloth Is Keeping You Poor</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-5 views-row-odd views-row-last"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/how-much-should-you-actually-be-spending-on-a-date">How Much Should You Actually Be Spending on a Date?</a></span> </div> </li> </ul> </div> </div> </div> </div><br/></br> Lifestyle Shopping Dating keeping you poor love lust relationships seven deadly sins sins Valentine's Day Tue, 14 Feb 2017 10:01:04 +0000 Paul Michael 1889314 at http://www.wisebread.com The High Cost of Modern Love http://www.wisebread.com/the-high-cost-of-modern-love <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/the-high-cost-of-modern-love" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://wisebread.killeracesmedia.netdna-cdn.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/iStock-525805229.jpg" alt="Couple learning the high cost of modern love" title="" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="250" height="141" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p>Being in love is now more expensive than ever. In fact, Americans spend an <a href="http://www.cnbc.com/2016/08/31/dont-let-love-break-your-budget.html" target="_blank">average of $20,000</a> in their lifetime on dates. With dinner and a movie costing about $90, you could easily go broke if you date frequently.</p> <p>We've covered some of the costs below so you can get a better idea of what modern love can cost. However, these are only national averages. The amount you pay for entertainment and impressing your date will vary largely depending on where you live.</p> <h2>Movie Ticket</h2> <p><strong>Average Price</strong>: <a href="http://variety.com/2016/film/news/average-movie-ticket-price-falls-in-third-quarter-1201892925/" target="_blank">$8.51 per ticket</a></p> <p>The worst part is that after spending money on movie tickets, you have to worry about buying popcorn, soda, candy, and other overpriced treats. For instance, if you decided to order one large popcorn, one large candy, and two small soft drinks, you could expect to <a href="http://pricesandfees.com/regal-cinemas-ticket-and-concession-prices/" target="_blank">spend around $22.25</a>, in addition to the price of the movie tickets. Instead of doing dinner and a movie out, consider cooking at home and taking advantage of Netflix.</p> <h2>Dining Out<strong> </strong></h2> <p><strong>Average Price</strong>: <a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/how-much-it-costs-to-eat-at-resaurants-2015-3" target="_blank">$12.17&ndash;$88.00 per person</a></p> <p>A 2015 study found that the cost of eating at a chain restaurant ranges from $12.17 to $88.00 per person, but it depends on where (and what) you eat. It also depends on where you live. For instance, Zagat found that diners in NYC spend an average of <a href="https://www.zagat.com/b/the-state-of-american-dining-in-2016" target="_blank">$48.44 per person</a> when eating out, which is higher than the national average.</p> <p>As an alternative, consider happy hour deals, taking advantage of restaurant week or local food festivals, or impressing your date with a home-cooked meal. You can either show off your cooking skills or cook together as a bonding experience.</p> <h2>Concert Tickets</h2> <p><strong>Average Price</strong>: <a href="http://abcnews.go.com/Business/story?id=87981" target="_blank">$46.69 per person</a></p> <p>Concert tickets all depend on who you are going to see and which tickets you get (unobstructed or obstructed view). For instance, impressing your date with tickets to a Taylor Swift concert will set you back <a href="http://www.digitalmusicnews.com/2016/01/12/the-20-most-expensive-concert-tickets-of-2015/" target="_blank">$110.15 a ticket</a>.</p> <h2>Broadway Show</h2> <p><strong>Average Price</strong>: <a href="https://www.statista.com/statistics/198306/average-paid-admission-at-broadway-shows-since-2006/" target="_blank">$105.68 a ticket</a></p> <p>Now, this is only appropriate if you are<em> really</em> trying to impress your date. With an average ticket price of $105.68, Broadway shows should be saved for <em>very</em> special occasions. The price will depend on what you go to see. For instance, a ticket to Hamilton could cost $300, while a ticket to Jitney could be <a href="http://www.broadwayworld.com/grosses.cfm?sortby=topticket&amp;orderby=desc" target="_blank">around $55</a>.</p> <h2>Baby Sitter</h2> <p><strong>Average Price</strong>: <a href="http://www.care.com/child-care-babysitting-cost-p1145-q22781.html" target="_blank">$10 an hour</a></p> <p>If you have a child at home, you can expect to spend a hefty amount on a baby sitter. The average cost of a baby sitter, per hour, in New York City is $15+, so the price will vary depending on where you live, who you hire, and the agreement you set with the sitter. As an alternative, consider asking another parent to baby-sit your child for a night at no charge, and tell them you will return the favor later by baby-sitting their child for free.</p> <h2>Gifts</h2> <p><strong>Average Price</strong>: <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/12/19/holiday-spending-significant-other_n_6263910.html" target="_blank">$92.50 per occasion</a></p> <p>Once you find that special someone, you'll need to start worrying about the costs of gifts on special occasions. The average American spends only <a href="http://www.match.com/magazine/article/12273/The-Hidden-Costs-Of-Dating/" target="_blank">$25 per year on flowers</a>, but can expect to spend an average of <a href="http://time.com/money/4213074/valentines-day-spending/" target="_blank">$146.84 on Valentine's Day gifts</a>. Gifts for holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, and other special occasions can take a hefty chunk out of your budget.</p> <p>According to Huffington Post, Americans spend an average of $92.50 per special occasion on their new love. They also found that people spend an additional $21 on gifts for each additional year of their relationship.</p> <h2>Dating Sites</h2> <p><strong>Average Price</strong>: $0&ndash;$60 per month</p> <p>Match.com is $41.99 per month, eHarmony.com is $60 per month, True.com is $50 per month, Tinder is free (unless you sign up for premium services, which range from $2.99&ndash;$34.99), and Bumble is free (again, unless you sign up for premium services, which range from $2.99&ndash;$35.99). You can save a lot of money by signing up for longer periods of time, like six or 12 months. Many dating sites, like Match.com, also offer free options with limited capabilities.</p> <p>When it comes to dating sites and apps, there are distinct differences in the quality of the service and potential suitors, so cost shouldn't be your only factor. For instance, PlentyOfFish and OKCupid are free, but they don't offer the same matching abilities or photo quality as a service like Match or eHarmony. The people on PlentyOfFish also aren't usually as devoted to finding that special someone for life, as compared to someone on Match or eHarmony.</p> <p>As an alternative, try meeting someone in real life. After all, only 5% of Americans in a marriage or committed relationship actually <a href="http://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2016/02/29/5-facts-about-online-dating/" target="_blank">met their significant other online</a>. Studies continue to show that couples <a href="https://mic.com/articles/112062/the-way-most-people-meet-their-significant-others-is-not-what-you-think#.0PkKUQZ83" target="_blank">most often meet each other</a> through work, friends in common, or in social settings, so just put yourself out there more.</p> <h2>The Cost of &quot;Ghosting&quot;</h2> <p><strong>Average Price</strong>: Your love life?</p> <p>If you decide that the cost of dating sites is just too much, consider the cost to your love life if you disappear from the app completely. If you start &quot;ghosting,&quot; it can end very badly. In fact, it often leads to even more confrontation than if you were just honest from the start. Take advantage of the sites and apps you subscribe to, while you still can.</p> <p>On the other end of the spectrum, if you take your special someone on a horrible date, you risk getting &quot;ghosted&quot; yourself. Getting ignored can really take a toll on one's confidence and lead to hurt feelings, so observe the golden rule and avoid ghosting. Just remember, a good date doesn't have to be an expensive one. Take them somewhere meaningful, dress and act the part, and find ways to impress your date without going broke.</p> <h2>Alternative Date Ideas</h2> <p>Ask your date what they would like to do. Going to the movies and dinner can be fun, but most people have other ideas for a better date night. Here are some ideas to get you thinking.</p> <ul> <li>Go for a hike or walk through your area. Show your date some of your favorite areas.<br /> &nbsp;</li> <li>Get active with canoeing, miniature golfing, ice skating, rock climbing, paddle boating, paddle boarding, biking&hellip;the list goes on and on. Find out what your date is interested in and take advantage. It's cheaper, more meaningful, and can help you burn some calories.<br /> &nbsp;</li> <li>Visit a museum during the day and time when it is cheapest. Most museums offer free admission on a particular day of the week. You can observe some local culture and will have plenty to talk about with your date.<br /> &nbsp;</li> <li>Instead of going out for dinner, consider going out for coffee instead. After all, why spend something like $90 on a first date, when you're not even sure that they're worth dating long-term? With a coffee date, you can get to know each other in a more comfortable setting. A picnic is also ultraromantic, affordable, and memorable.<br /> &nbsp;</li> <li>Go dancing at a bar or take dance classes, which start as low as $12 per person.<br /> &nbsp;</li> <li>Go for a free wine or liquor tasting in your area.<br /> &nbsp;</li> <li>Take advantage of outdoor movie events (like free movies in the park).<br /> &nbsp;</li> <li>Take advantage of free local tours or free tour apps.<br /> &nbsp;</li> <li>Find a Groupon date that you both want to take advantage of. Give your date some options so they'll be able to pick what interests them most.</li> </ul> <br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">This article is from <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/andrea-cannon">Andrea Cannon</a> of <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/the-high-cost-of-modern-love">Wise Bread</a>, an award-winning personal finance and <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/credit-cards">credit card comparison</a> website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:</div><div class="view view-similarterms view-id-similarterms view-display-id-block_2 view-dom-id-7"> <div class="view-content"> <div class="item-list"> <ul> <li class="views-row views-row-1 views-row-odd views-row-first"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/how-much-a-breakdown-of-concert-ticket-prices">How Much?! A Breakdown of Concert Ticket Prices</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-2 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/how-much-should-you-actually-be-spending-on-a-date">How Much Should You Actually Be Spending on a Date?</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-3 views-row-odd"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/10-fun-books-that-will-get-your-kids-excited-about-money">10 Fun Books That Will Get Your Kids Excited About Money</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-4 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/how-dirty-is-your-money-really">How Dirty Is Your Money, Really?</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-5 views-row-odd views-row-last"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/never-pay-for-a-redbox-dvd-rental-again">Never Pay for a RedBox DVD Rental Again</a></span> </div> </li> </ul> </div> </div> </div> </div><br/></br> Frugal Living Entertainment concerts dates Dating dinners gifts going out movies significant others Spending Money tickets Mon, 13 Feb 2017 10:00:16 +0000 Andrea Cannon 1889311 at http://www.wisebread.com 4 Ways Millennials Are Changing Marriage http://www.wisebread.com/4-ways-millennials-are-changing-marriage <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/4-ways-millennials-are-changing-marriage" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://wisebread.killeracesmedia.netdna-cdn.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/iStock-478191992.jpg" alt="here&#039;s how millennials are changing marriage" title="" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="250" height="140" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p>According to the Gallup, 59% of Millennials have <a href="http://www.gallup.com/poll/191462/gallup-analysis-millennials-marriage-family.aspx">never been married</a>. Raise your hand if you're a 20- or 30-something and your parents are hounding you to settle down and give them grandchildren. Oy, that's a lot of hands. Make sure they understand the four ways Millennials are changing marriage.</p> <h2>Marrying Later</h2> <p>It should be no surprise that the <a href="http://www.gallup.com/poll/163802/marriage-importance-dropped.aspx">youngest generation is marrying later</a>, as this has been a steady trend over the past few generations. However, the number of people born between 1980 and 2000 who are married is even lower than expected. </p> <p>Why wait? Wages are stagnant. More young people are saddled with college debt. More young people are taking longer to earn enough money just to leave their parents' home. More young people are dating longer, and waiting for the right one. <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/avoid-these-5-pitfalls-when-moving-in-together">Couples are living together</a> longer while putting off a wedding. When you don't have a lot of money, support, or time, the idea of spending a ton of time and money planning a wedding doesn't sound so romantic and fun.</p> <h2>Marrying Interracially and LGBT</h2> <p>It's crucial that we see where Millennials are pushing the ball forward, and one of those areas is in continuing the fight against <em>assortative </em>mating, which likely <a href="https://www.brookings.edu/blog/social-mobility-memos/2014/02/10/opposites-dont-attract-assortative-mating-and-social-mobility/">deepens economic inequality</a>. One of the best ways to track this is with interracial dating and marriage.</p> <p>Pew Research Center in 2013 learned that <a href="http://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2015/06/12/interracial-marriage-who-is-marrying-out/">6.3% of all newlyweds</a> married a person who was outside of their race. While America has a long history of structural racism that Millennials also take part in, it is worth pointing out the big gains this generation has made in making marriage about love and not rules based on prejudice. </p> <p>It's also worth pointing out that 71% of American Millennials now <a href="http://www.pewforum.org/2016/05/12/changing-attitudes-on-gay-marriage/">support same sex marriage</a>, in contrast to only 55% of the general population overall. Marriage is getting more open and inclusive of all types of Americans, and you can thank Millennials for helping that happen faster.</p> <h2>Marrying With Prenuptial Agreements</h2> <p>This may not be relevant to your average couple living within the median income bracket, but it's an interesting one. According to some lawyers, more Millennials are cool with locking in a contract before the big day. Apparently, just over half of <a href="http://time.com/money/4549526/prenups-millennials-marriage/">lawyers in a poll</a> cited that they saw an uptick in prenuptial agreements in young couples, and only 2% of lawyers cited a decrease in prenups.</p> <p>Why could that be? One theory is that Millennials are entering marriages older and are more willing to have the tough pre-nup conversations. Another is that they are more protective of whatever wealth they have managed to hold onto, and are worried to repeat the mistakes of their parents. Whatever the reason and however you feel about prenups, it's sign that Millennials are more responsible than the media makes them out to be.</p> <h2>Not Marrying at All</h2> <p>Gasp! Clutch your pearls, but marriage is just not going to happen for a lot of people. According to the Olin College of Engineering, the number of both men and women projected to stay unmarried <a href="https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2016/10/161017124248.htm">continues to increase</a>. Professor Downey found that if men were born in the '90s, 30% of them will be unmarried by age 43. For women born in the 1990s, 36% of them are expect to be unmarried by age 43. That's in comparison to 17% of both men and women who were born in the 1970s going unmarried by the same age.</p> <p>Why? Marriage is very personal, and everyone's reasons could very well be different. That said, it's likely that the reasons many Millennials cite for delaying marriage would be the very same reasons some never do it at all. We've learned through myriad surveys, polls, and studies that most Millennials claim to have inherited a less economically stable world than their parents. Since marriage itself is in many ways an economic arrangement, how can we blame them?</p> <br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">This article is from <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/amanda-meadows">Amanda Meadows</a> of <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/4-ways-millennials-are-changing-marriage">Wise Bread</a>, an award-winning personal finance and <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/credit-cards">credit card comparison</a> website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:</div><div class="view view-similarterms view-id-similarterms view-display-id-block_2 view-dom-id-2"> <div class="view-content"> <div class="item-list"> <ul> <li class="views-row views-row-1 views-row-odd views-row-first"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/10-fun-books-that-will-get-your-kids-excited-about-money">10 Fun Books That Will Get Your Kids Excited About Money</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-2 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/this-is-how-americans-spent-their-money-in-the-1950s">This Is How Americans Spent Their Money in the 1950s</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-3 views-row-odd"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/these-5-money-saving-hacks-are-a-huge-waste-of-time">These 5 Money-Saving Hacks Are a Huge Waste of Time</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-4 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/11-ways-cycling-can-save-you-money">11 Ways Cycling Can Save You Money</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-5 views-row-odd views-row-last"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/how-much-engagement-ring-can-you-actually-afford">How Much Engagement Ring Can You Actually Afford?</a></span> </div> </li> </ul> </div> </div> </div> </div><br/></br> Budgeting Lifestyle Dating Economy getting married marriage millennials saving money Spending Money wedding wedding dress wedding fund weddings Wed, 30 Nov 2016 12:30:10 +0000 Amanda Meadows 1844261 at http://www.wisebread.com The 6 Best Cities for Single Millennials http://www.wisebread.com/the-6-best-cities-for-single-millennials <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/the-6-best-cities-for-single-millennials" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://wisebread.killeracesmedia.netdna-cdn.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/man_smiling_scarf_000018710182.jpg" alt="Man finding the best cities for single millennials" title="" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="250" height="140" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p>Millennials make up the largest generational population within the U.S., according to The White House <a href="https://www.whitehouse.gov/sites/default/files/docs/millennials_report.pdf">Council of Economic Advisers</a>. The term &quot;Millennial&quot; points to anyone born between 1980 and 2005.</p> <p>What's even more remarkable about this particular demographic than the vastness of its size, is the fact that Millennials are undoubtedly changing the American landscape. They are more educated, racially diverse, and technologically savvy than any other group in history. More than 60% are college educated, and almost half identify with a race other than non-Hispanic white. As a career-driven Millennial, who's likely to put off starting a family until later in life, here are the six best cities for singles.</p> <p>(See also: <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/the-5-best-mid-sized-cities-for-millennials?ref=seealso">The 5 Best Mid-Sized Cities for Millennials</a>)</p> <h2>1. Austin, Texas</h2> <p>Austin's reputation as the nation's live music capital, with more than 200 live music venues and year-round festivals, has lured singles from across the country. Single females outnumber single males two to one. Austin has a relatively low cost of living and booming business economy. The Milken Institute, a Washington, D.C. based think tank, ranked it one of the top five <a href="http://www.best-cities.org/2015/best-performing-cities-report-2015.pdf">best-performing large cities</a> for 2015.</p> <h2>2. Dallas, Texas</h2> <p>Dallas/Fort Worth was the only other Texas city to make the list. Its economic growth has been attributed to the low cost of doing business and corporate recruitment incentives. Today, Dallas (and area cities) has become the corporate headquarters for many large companies, translation; opportunities, which should appeal to a lot of career-oriented Millennials. Dallas is also known for it's steamy culinary scene and renowned chefs that have brought their sought-after fare to the area.</p> <h2>3. Los Angeles, California</h2> <p>The City of Angels didn't make the list of best-performing cities. LA might not be the ideal place to launch your career &mdash; that is, unless of course, you're in search of fame and not only fortune. Los Angeles has not slowed down or lost momentum as a magnet for ambitious Millennial hopefuls wishing to get their start in Hollywood rather than Silicon Valley or Silicon Alley. The city's hot spots are filled with beautiful single men and women. The <em>LA Times </em>says, most adults in Los Angeles are single and make up <a href="http://www.latimes.com/opinion/opinion-la/la-ol-single-adults-los-angeles-20140917-story.html">55.8% of the adult population</a>.</p> <h2>4. Miami, Florida</h2> <p>Bienvenido a Miami! You won't find Miami on a list that rates cities based on their economic growth. That is because the major industries in Miami are limited to travel and tourism, hospitality, and real estate. The median salary is lower than most other large cities. However, its coastal location, tropical climate, and ostentatious nightlife scene has made it a global center for jetsetters. Miami has a growing population of internationals and single Americans who call it their second home and flock there each November to February.</p> <h2>5. New York, New York</h2> <p>There are more available men and women under the age of 36 in Gotham City than any other major city in the U.S. According to the New York City Economic Development Corporation, New York City bars and restaurants generate <a href="http://nycedc.tumblr.com/post/16175652438/ratio-of-single-men-to-single-women-in-nyc-new">58% more revenue</a> than those in the United States as a whole. So, if you can stomach the high cost of living (average rent is $2,800 per month), giving up your personal space, noise, and trading in your car to ride a crowded subway to work every day, I'm willing to bet you'll begin to feel at home in no time.</p> <h2>6. San Francisco, California</h2> <p>San Francisco has one of the most vibrant economies in the U.S. Aside from the high cost of rents (average rent is $3,500 per month), it's a nice place for singles to live. According to The Milken Institute, the tech capital led the nation in wage growth for the last five years. Research showed that &quot;San Francisco's tech-fueled growth is drawing young knowledge workers from around the country and the world.&quot;</p> <p><em>Where should a single 20-something on the just beginning adult life reside? </em></p> <h2 style="text-align: center;">Like this post? Pin it!</h2> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p style="text-align: center;"><a href="//www.pinterest.com/pin/create/button/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.wisebread.com%2Fthe-6-best-cities-for-single-millennials&amp;media=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.wisebread.com%2Ffiles%2Ffruganomics%2Fu5180%2FThe%206%20Best%20Cities%20for%20Single%20Millennials.jpg&amp;description=The%206%20Best%20Cities%20for%20Single%20Millennials" data-pin-do="buttonPin" data-pin-config="above" data-pin-color="red" data-pin-height="28"><img src="//assets.pinterest.com/images/pidgets/pinit_fg_en_rect_red_28.png" alt="" /></a> </p> <!-- Please call pinit.js only once per page --><!-- Please call pinit.js only once per page --><script type="text/javascript" async defer src="//assets.pinterest.com/js/pinit.js"></script></p> <p style="text-align: center;"><img src="http://wisebread.killeracesmedia.netdna-cdn.com/files/fruganomics/u5180/The%206%20Best%20Cities%20for%20Single%20Millennials.jpg" width="250" height="374" alt="" /></p> <br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">This article is from <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/qiana-chavaia">Qiana Chavaia</a> of <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/the-6-best-cities-for-single-millennials">Wise Bread</a>, an award-winning personal finance and <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/credit-cards">credit card comparison</a> website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:</div><div class="view view-similarterms view-id-similarterms view-display-id-block_2 view-dom-id-1"> <div class="view-content"> <div class="item-list"> <ul> <li class="views-row views-row-1 views-row-odd views-row-first"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/5-incredible-world-cities-you-can-afford">5 Incredible World Cities You Can Afford</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-2 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/the-5-best-mid-sized-cities-for-millennials">The 5 Best Mid-Sized Cities for Millennials</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-3 views-row-odd"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/6-tourist-towns-that-are-actually-great-to-live-in">6 &quot;Tourist Towns&quot; That Are Actually Great to Live In</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-4 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/5-american-cities-where-you-can-retire-on-just-social-security">5 American Cities Where You Can Retire On Just Social Security</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-5 views-row-odd views-row-last"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/4-ways-millennials-are-changing-marriage">4 Ways Millennials Are Changing Marriage</a></span> </div> </li> </ul> </div> </div> </div> </div><br/></br> Real Estate and Housing Travel best cities career driven Dating millennials relocating singles Thu, 10 Mar 2016 11:30:06 +0000 Qiana Chavaia 1668046 at http://www.wisebread.com Flashback Friday: 104 Sweet Ways to Celebrate Valentine's Day http://www.wisebread.com/flashback-friday-104-sweet-ways-to-celebrate-valentines-day <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/flashback-friday-104-sweet-ways-to-celebrate-valentines-day" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://wisebread.killeracesmedia.netdna-cdn.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/couple_in_love_000074614141.jpg" alt="Couple finding sweet ways to celebrate Valentine&#039;s Day" title="" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="250" height="140" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p>Valentine's Day is all about the love, but it's also about the money. And we tend to spend a whole lot of it just to show our significant others how much they mean to us. As nice as it is to give &mdash; or to receive &mdash; a shiny new toy, or a bundle of chocolates, it's simply not necessary to expressing your love for your favorite person. You <em>can</em> celebrate Valentine's Day with your partner without breaking the bank.</p> <p>Here are 104 sweet (and frugal) ways to celebrate Valentine's Day this year.</p> <p><img src="http://wisebread.killeracesmedia.netdna-cdn.com/files/fruganomics/u5171/couple-valentines-day-breakfast-Dollarphotoclub_73459350_0.jpg" width="605" height="340" alt="" /></p> <p><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/14-ways-to-spend-less-money-on-valentines-day">14 Ways to Spend Less Money on Valentine's Day</a> &mdash; Show your Valentine how much you adore them without emptying your wallet. These low-cost and super romantic Valentine's Day date ideas will have your sweetie swooning.</p> <p><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/13-ways-to-make-money-from-valentines-day">13 Ways to Make Money From Valentine's Day</a> &mdash; Who knew you could actually turn a profit on one of the most expensive holidays of the year? Turn on your entrepreneurial side and cash in on Valentine's Day this year.</p> <p><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/14-mostly-frugal-valentine-s-day-recipes">14 (Mostly) Frugal Valentine&rsquo;s Day Recipes</a> &mdash; Skip the crowds and pricey Prix Fixe menus and make a romantic meal at home. These yummy Valentine's Day recipes will meet your budget <em>and</em> satisfy your tastebuds.</p> <p><img src="http://wisebread.killeracesmedia.netdna-cdn.com/files/fruganomics/u5171/chocolate-covered-strawberries-Dollarphotoclub_60362926.jpg" width="605" height="340" alt="" /></p> <p><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/15-delicious-homemade-treats-your-valentine-will-love">15 Delicious Homemade Treats Your Valentine Will Love</a> &mdash; Would anyone turn down chocolate covered strawberries? What about red velvet cookie pops? Here are a bunch of delectable DIY sweet treats that can't miss.</p> <p><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/20-valentines-day-gifts-for-10-or-less">20 Valentine's Day Gifts for $10 or Less</a> &mdash; All you need is a crisp $10 bill to get something special for your special someone. It doesn't get any easier or more budget-friendly than that, folks.</p> <p><img src="http://wisebread.killeracesmedia.netdna-cdn.com/files/fruganomics/u5171/couple_love_romance_000022750225.jpg" width="605" height="340" alt="" /></p> <p><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/celebrate-love-not-money-with-these-recycled-valentines-day-gifts">Celebrate Love, Not Money, With These Recycled Valentine's Day Gifts</a> &mdash; You know what they say, &quot;One man's trash is another man's extremely thoughtful, gently used Valentine's Day gift.&quot; Wait, that's not right. But whatever! These thrifted gifts are sure to woo your one and only.</p> <p><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/affordable-flowers-for-valentines-day-or-any-day">Affordable Flowers for Valentine's Day (or Any Day)</a> &mdash; Roses are red. Violets are blue. Don't buy roses on Valentine's Day when these other gorgeous flowers will do!</p> <p><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/14-valentine-s-day-desserts-that-hit-the-sweet-spot">14 Valentine&rsquo;s Day Desserts That Hit the (Sweet) Spot</a> &mdash; True story: the way to anyone's heart is through their stomach. And whipping up any of these rich and delish Valentine's Day desserts will make you the best Valentine ever.</p> <p><em>How are you celebrating Valentine's Day this year? Share with us in the comments!</em></p> <br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">This article is from <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/chrissa-hardy">Chrissa Hardy</a> of <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/flashback-friday-104-sweet-ways-to-celebrate-valentines-day">Wise Bread</a>, an award-winning personal finance and <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/credit-cards">credit card comparison</a> website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:</div><div class="view view-similarterms view-id-similarterms view-display-id-block_2 view-dom-id-1"> <div class="view-content"> <div class="item-list"> <ul> <li class="views-row views-row-1 views-row-odd views-row-first"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/flashback-friday-119-amazing-meals-you-can-make-from-a-can">Flashback Friday: 119 Amazing Meals You Can Make From a Can</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-2 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/flashback-friday-122-scrumptious-super-bowl-party-snack-ideas">Flashback Friday: 122 Scrumptious Super Bowl Party Snack Ideas</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-3 views-row-odd"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/flashback-friday-the-107-best-breakfast-hacks-to-start-your-day-off-right">Flashback Friday: The 107 Best Breakfast Hacks to Start Your Day Off Right</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-4 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/flashback-friday-41-coffee-hacks-that-will-instantly-improve-your-morning">Flashback Friday: 41 Coffee Hacks That Will Instantly Improve Your Morning</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-5 views-row-odd views-row-last"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/flashback-friday-106-delicious-lunches-that-will-make-you-excited-to-brown-bag-it">Flashback Friday: 106 Delicious Lunches That Will Make You Excited to Brown-Bag It</a></span> </div> </li> </ul> </div> </div> </div> </div><br/></br> Frugal Living Food and Drink Dating fbf flashback friday Food frugal foods love Valentine Valentine's Day Fri, 12 Feb 2016 11:00:10 +0000 Chrissa Hardy 1655103 at http://www.wisebread.com Make These 6 Relationship Moves Now or You'll Regret It in 20 Years http://www.wisebread.com/make-these-6-relationship-moves-now-or-youll-regret-it-in-20-years <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/make-these-6-relationship-moves-now-or-youll-regret-it-in-20-years" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://wisebread.killeracesmedia.netdna-cdn.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/happy_couple_000032796334.jpg" alt="Couple making relationship moves now before they regret it " title="" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="250" height="140" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p>There's no science to relationships. That said, communication is key to keeping you and your significant other together and happy in the face of everyday setbacks. If the goal is to grow old together in matching rocking chairs, then make these six relationship moves or you'll regret it in 20 years. (See also: <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/avoid-these-5-pitfalls-when-moving-in-together?ref=seealso">Avoid These 5 Pitfalls When Moving in Together</a>)</p> <h2>1. Speak Up and Say No</h2> <p>Being assertive with your wants and needs is just as important as being compassionate and considerate of your partner's needs. This goes for both big and small topics: You don't like carnations, but you keep getting them on your birthday. You grin and bear it through <em>The Big Bang Theory, </em>because it's their favorite show. Your partner wants kids and you don't. Your partner wants a house in their home state someday and you don't want to move. This is also true with intimacy preferences. If you've tried something in bed enough times to know you don't like it, speak up &mdash; sexual incompatibility is a chief cause for many breakups and divorces. It's better to address it now.</p> <p><strong>What this prevents</strong>: A sense of obligation to do something you don't like. If it goes long enough, resentment and hostility will bubble up to the surface. Your partner will also be upset, because you didn't articulate your wants and needs in the first place.</p> <h2>2. Delete Your Dating Apps</h2> <p>We all know someone in a relationship who still flips through OKCupid and Match, or swipes through Tinder or Grindr after a beer or two. Why are you still there? If you don't think the relationship is working out, then it might be time to end it. Most people in a committed relationship would expect their partners to at least ignore those websites and unsubscribe to their emails. At the end of the day, you put yourself in a position that calls your trustworthiness into question.</p> <p><strong>What this prevents</strong>: Possibly unwarranted accusations of cheating. If you're not in an open or poly relationship, you could lose your partner's trust.</p> <h2>3. Schedule Date Nights</h2> <p>Ugh, date nights, right? They sound as if they would suck the romance out of your currently stable and happy relationship. However, after a few years, there's always a slump. Every couple faces it and wonders, <em>are we still in love</em>? You get so comfortable that you forget to celebrate each other and the love that you share. Ideally, couples would automatically set aside one night per week (or at least per month) as a special date night. It could be any date ritual that is important to you. It's fun to dress up a little and go somewhere to show each other off.</p> <p><strong>What this prevents</strong>: Boredom, loneliness, and the dreaded &quot;We never go anywhere!&quot; fights.</p> <h2>4. Sort Out Your Finances Together</h2> <p>No one likes doing this. Instead, we make assumptions and hope for the best until a surprise comes our way. This is a recipe for disaster if you're planning to be in a relationship for the long haul with someone. Even if you aren't married, you should be upfront about debt, savings goals, budgets, and spending habits. Be willing to share and take advice from each other. If anyone has a decent chance at helping you improve your finances, it's a loving partner who shares your goals.</p> <p><strong>What this prevents</strong>: The unwelcome surprise that your partner has $100,000 in student loan debt, which will exacerbate the already stressful fights over spending, bills, and savings down the road.</p> <h2>5. Share a Hobby</h2> <p>It's always a good idea to share activities that remind you why you liked each other in the first place. Do you both collect art? Do you both enjoy hunting? Do you both want to learn a skill? Find an affordable and fun thing that you can enjoy together on a basic level, as <em>friends.</em> Because friendship is the solid base of any romantic relationship. Share opinions and help each other grow at your chosen skill. This might sound like a recreational &quot;elective,&quot; but consider how much closer sharing a passion or collaborating toward a goal could bring you together.</p> <p><strong>What this prevents</strong>: Lack of shared purpose beyond the household, which can lead to resentment and estrangement. Or, having fights about one partner being &quot;too into&quot; a hobby that excludes the other.</p> <h2>6. Know When It's Over</h2> <p>There are a myriad of reasons why you could want to end a relationship. Perhaps your life goals don't mesh, or one of you won't go to couple's therapy, or you're no longer having sex. If something is a dealbreaker for you, you have to declare it as such. If you've already talked through your needs in an open and compassionate way many times before, with no results, you need the courage to end the relationship, because it's what's best for both of you. Don't hang on waiting for a force majeure to occur. That's how people remain in relationships with abusive or emotionally absent partners. No one deserves that.</p> <p><strong>What this prevents</strong>: Feeling trapped in a stagnant, unloving, or toxic relationship for years.</p> <p><em>What are you doing to keep your relationship fresh and strong for the long haul?</em></p> <br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">This article is from <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/amanda-meadows">Amanda Meadows</a> of <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/make-these-6-relationship-moves-now-or-youll-regret-it-in-20-years">Wise Bread</a>, an award-winning personal finance and <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/credit-cards">credit card comparison</a> website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:</div><div class="view view-similarterms view-id-similarterms view-display-id-block_2 view-dom-id-3"> <div class="view-content"> <div class="item-list"> <ul> <li class="views-row views-row-1 views-row-odd views-row-first"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/10-relationship-rules-you-should-be-breaking">10 Relationship Rules You Should Be Breaking</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-2 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/6-ways-lust-is-keeping-you-poor">6 Ways Lust Is Keeping You Poor</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-3 views-row-odd"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/avoid-these-5-pitfalls-when-moving-in-together">Avoid These 5 Pitfalls When Moving in Together</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-4 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/happily-ever-after-how-to-stay-married-for-29-years-and-counting">Happily Ever After: How to Stay Married for 29 Years (and Counting)</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-5 views-row-odd views-row-last"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/flashback-friday-104-sweet-ways-to-celebrate-valentines-day">Flashback Friday: 104 Sweet Ways to Celebrate Valentine&#039;s Day</a></span> </div> </li> </ul> </div> </div> </div> </div><br/></br> Personal Development advice Dating love relationships tips Wed, 28 Oct 2015 15:15:19 +0000 Amanda Meadows 1601081 at http://www.wisebread.com Avoid These 5 Pitfalls When Moving in Together http://www.wisebread.com/avoid-these-5-pitfalls-when-moving-in-together <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/avoid-these-5-pitfalls-when-moving-in-together" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://wisebread.killeracesmedia.netdna-cdn.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/couple_fighting_000051175734.jpg" alt="Couple trying to avoid relationship pitfalls when moving in together" title="" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="250" height="140" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p>Moving in with the person you love is a huge step! In fact, it's so huge that we get too swept up in the excitement to really look at the gritty details. These are five things you should never do when moving in together.</p> <h2>1. Don't Avoid Organizing Your Stuff Before the Move</h2> <p>This is one of the most useful things you can do to avoid fights about belongings down the line. You must be willing to self-edit (and to help your partner self-edit) before schlepping all your stuff into a new place where it may not all fit. Clean house and decide which items of yours are most important to keep, so you can make room for the new items you'll acquire as a cohabiting couple.</p> <p>Remember these key categories: Keep, Sell, Donate, and Toss. Keep items such as any clothing you have actually worn in the past year, or big ticket furniture items you can't spare. Sell items of some value that are either redundant or no longer needed. Donate items like new clothing you haven't worn in the last year, shoes, books, and anything not worth taking time to <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/the-5-best-things-to-buy-or-sell-on-craigslist">sell on Craigslist</a> or a yard sale. Toss pretty much everything else! Let your partner have a veto option.</p> <h2>2. Don't Reject Your Significant Other's Red Flags</h2> <p>This can range from extremely small to extremely big issues. To some, a loud snore could potentially be a deal breaker; but harboring an addiction to pills could go undetected for years before finally moving in with someone. It comes down to how well you know each other. What are your partner's triggers and soft spots, and will you be able to work around them? </p> <p>For some, a series of talks is all you need to answer questions like, &quot;How will our work schedules mesh?&quot; Or, &quot;Can we share a bedroom or do we need separate spaces as well?&quot; Or, &quot;Who will be in charge of the bills?&quot;</p> <p>There are also elephants in the room that you must address. For example: If your significant other has a child, you will need to be a part of the child's life. Is that something you're ready to do?</p> <p>Another example: If your partner has a disability, how will it affect your responsibilities to them and the home?</p> <p>Maybe you're the one with a lot red flags. Don't react defensively &ndash; deeply consider your partner's needs and decide if they are workable for you. You can't just hope it will all fall into place.</p> <h2>3. Don't Assume Finances Will Work Themselves Out</h2> <p>Finances are the largest source of stress and arguments in every household. Yours will not be an exception. While you're not legally obligated to each other's money, you do need to share some pertinent information with your significant other before you set up your household system. <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/5-life-mistakes-you-need-to-stop-making-by-30">Are you in massive debt</a>? Are you terrible at managing bills?</p> <p>If you're the organized one who has their bills set up on auto-pay, you're probably going to be the one to shepherd the other into a better system. Try setting up an automatic monthly transfer from your partner's bank account to yours to ensure you get their share of the rent and bills on time. Don't think of this as babysitting; think of this as an investment of your time and expertise into avoiding future fights when the lights suddenly get shut-off!</p> <h2>4. Don't Let One Person Do All the Housework</h2> <p>This is a tough one that inevitably happens to most new couples. Whoever gets sick of staring at the unending tower of dirty dishes first is ultimately the one who cleans them. That's not fair, but it's really easy to get stuck into imbalanced patterns like this when living together.</p> <p>Have a discussion, before moving in, about housekeeping equality. Who takes out the trash? Who does the dishes? (Hint: if you don't own a dishwasher, I suggest it's whoever didn't cook the meal.) Who fixes the bookcase when it starts to teeter? These are tasks that have nothing to do with gender or who earns more money. It's usually whoever can do it with the least amount of goading. If neither of you wants to clean, agree to split the cost of a monthly cleaning service and never fight about dusting again.</p> <h2>5. Don't Pretend You're Married</h2> <p>This is a hard one. Many people see shacking up as a stepping stone to marriage, and for many, it is. This is a great time to test each other's willingness to compromise, generosity with belongings, and emotional, sexual, and financial compatibility on an everyday level. This is all invaluable.</p> <p>But it doesn't mean that you're married. Avoid forming unhealthy, codependent habits with him or her. Your stuff doesn't belong to your partner, nor theirs to you. You have a choice in every decision that doesn't necessarily have to include your partner. You can hang in there and try to make a relationship work, but you can always leave if it isn't going well. That's the whole point, isn't it?</p> <p><em>Did you fall into any of these traps when you moved in with a significant other?</em></p> <br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">This article is from <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/amanda-meadows">Amanda Meadows</a> of <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/avoid-these-5-pitfalls-when-moving-in-together">Wise Bread</a>, an award-winning personal finance and <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/credit-cards">credit card comparison</a> website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:</div><div class="view view-similarterms view-id-similarterms view-display-id-block_2 view-dom-id-3"> <div class="view-content"> <div class="item-list"> <ul> <li class="views-row views-row-1 views-row-odd views-row-first"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/make-these-6-relationship-moves-now-or-youll-regret-it-in-20-years">Make These 6 Relationship Moves Now or You&#039;ll Regret It in 20 Years</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-2 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/heres-how-much-life-in-the-big-city-will-cost-you">Here&#039;s How Much Life in the Big City Will Cost You</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-3 views-row-odd"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/10-tips-for-balancing-love-and-money">10 Tips for Balancing Love and Money</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-4 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/10-relationship-rules-you-should-be-breaking">10 Relationship Rules You Should Be Breaking</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-5 views-row-odd views-row-last"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/6-ways-lust-is-keeping-you-poor">6 Ways Lust Is Keeping You Poor</a></span> </div> </li> </ul> </div> </div> </div> </div><br/></br> Frugal Living Personal Development Dating finance housing living arrangements moving moving in relationships Mon, 12 Oct 2015 17:00:44 +0000 Amanda Meadows 1586180 at http://www.wisebread.com How Much Should You Actually Be Spending on a Date? http://www.wisebread.com/how-much-should-you-actually-be-spending-on-a-date <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/how-much-should-you-actually-be-spending-on-a-date" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://wisebread.killeracesmedia.netdna-cdn.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/happy_couple_balloons_000043029394.jpg" alt="Couple learning how much to spend on a date" title="" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="250" height="140" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p>Going on a date at the end of a long week can be the perfect stress reliever. However, when you're spending half of what you're making trying to impress your date, you'll just go broke and regret every penny you spent. Fortunately, we've found some ways for you to figure out how much you should splurge this weekend &mdash; and how to get the most out of <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/find-love-with-these-fun-and-cheap-first-date-ideas">every date night opportunity</a>.</p> <h2>1. Know What the Average Person Spends</h2> <p>Your paycheck should govern how much you can afford. Cosmopolitan found that men spend about $80 on a first date, on average. Other sources suggest that the typical person spends between $50&ndash;$100 on date night, occurring on average once a month. However, according to Match.com, 58% of women don't even want an expensive date.</p> <h2>2. Shell Out a Bit More on Your First Date</h2> <p>A first date is different than every date that follows. Spending freely on your first date is a great way to show your date that you are serious, but it doesn't mean that you need to continue spending the same amount on future dates. After all, you don't want to be too frugal on the first date, which can make you seem cheap. On the other hand, if you tend to have a lot of first dates, you may want to rein in your spending.</p> <h2>3. Budget for Special Occasions</h2> <p>Special occasions like Valentine's Day and Christmas will have higher associated price tags. If you decide to go on a date during one of these expensive holidays, you can expect to spend more. In fact, some restaurants will even offer a special holiday menu, with more expensive entrees. Plan your budget proactively if you intend on spending more lavishly on special occasions.</p> <h2>4. Consider Your Location</h2> <p>Dating in Los Angeles, New York, Boston, Washington DC, and other large cities will cost you more. This is especially the case when you factor in the cost of public transportation, tipping, and the higher cost of food and entertainment in these large cities. You will have to take into account where you live when you are coming up with a budget for the weekend.</p> <h2>5. Set Personal Rules</h2> <p>The best way to limit your spending is to set rules for yourself. For instance, you can decide that you won't spend more than $20 on a weeknight date, but can spend up to $50 on a weekend date. The only way to determine how much to spend is to take into account your personal finances, income, and what you feel comfortable spending. The last thing you want to do is run up high credit card bills just trying to impress your date.</p> <h2>6. Have Fun Without the Expense</h2> <p>A simple way to reduce your spending would simply be to limit how often you go out. However, if you budget well and take advantage of affordable (or free) dates, then you can go out much more often. Casual dates (such as lunch dates) are more affordable, allowing you to go out more often. They are also more laid back, so you can get to know your date better.</p> <p>We have also found some of the best ways to impress your date for less than $20, so you can take them out whenever you have time (instead of whenever you have money):</p> <ul> <li>Book a free tour;</li> </ul> <ul> <li>Rent a pair of bikes;</li> </ul> <ul> <li>Find a great rooftop hangout;</li> </ul> <ul> <li>Go to a food, film, music, or art festival;</li> </ul> <ul> <li>Research your local area on Yelp or online to find cheap, highly rated places near you;</li> </ul> <ul> <li>Use Groupon, Living Social, Amazon Deals, and Yelp Deals to find deals for food, shopping, and events near you;</li> </ul> <ul> <li>Take advantage of free dates, like hiking or a day at the beach;</li> </ul> <ul> <li>Show off your cooking skills instead of dining out.</li> </ul> <h2>7. Make It About the Experience</h2> <p>Try not to let your feelings for your date cloud your judgment on how much you should spend. Just because they're worth a million bucks doesn't mean you should spend that. You should find a partner that is worth your time, not just your money. Then, the price tag won't seem so important.</p> <p>Going for coffee and dessert won't cost you more than $20 and can set the stage for a romantic experience and healthy conversation. Remember, your date is not about a price tag; it's about the experience shared. Spending lots of money on the date isn't important. What is important is that you work to create a memorable experience for you both that will help strengthen your future relationship.</p> <p><em>How do you determine how much you should spend on your date? Please share your thoughts in the comments!</em></p> <br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">This article is from <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/andrea-cannon">Andrea Cannon</a> of <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/how-much-should-you-actually-be-spending-on-a-date">Wise Bread</a>, an award-winning personal finance and <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/credit-cards">credit card comparison</a> website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:</div><div class="view view-similarterms view-id-similarterms view-display-id-block_2 view-dom-id-2"> <div class="view-content"> <div class="item-list"> <ul> <li class="views-row views-row-1 views-row-odd views-row-first"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/25-hobbies-you-can-start-for-under-10">25 Hobbies You Can Start for Under $10</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-2 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/6-ways-lust-is-keeping-you-poor">6 Ways Lust Is Keeping You Poor</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-3 views-row-odd"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/the-high-cost-of-modern-love">The High Cost of Modern Love</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-4 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/spice-up-the-conversation-by-skipping-what-do-you-do">Spice Up the Conversation by Skipping &quot;What Do You Do?&quot;</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-5 views-row-odd views-row-last"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/11-ways-freelancers-and-telecommuters-can-make-friends-and-network">11 Ways Freelancers and Telecommuters Can Make Friends and Network</a></span> </div> </li> </ul> </div> </div> </div> </div><br/></br> Entertainment Lifestyle date night Dating frugal fun going out relationships Wed, 23 Sep 2015 17:00:25 +0000 Andrea Cannon 1567470 at http://www.wisebread.com 9 Skills That Will Be Obsolete Soon http://www.wisebread.com/9-skills-that-will-be-obsolete-soon <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/9-skills-that-will-be-obsolete-soon" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://wisebread.killeracesmedia.netdna-cdn.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/women_reading_map_000020985087.jpg" alt="Women using skill that will soon become obsolete" title="" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="250" height="140" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p>As technology evolves, certain careers are replaced with new ones. For instance, children used to be employed as pinsetters in bowling alleys; the automated pin-setting machine made that job vanish pretty quickly. Before alarm clocks, &quot;knocker uppers&quot; would walk the streets tapping on windows to get people out of bed. And at night, lamplighters would walk around igniting gas-fueled street lamps.</p> <p>But beyond jobs, certain <em>skills</em> also get replaced as technology moves ever forward. So what are some modern skills that will <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/11-life-skills-that-are-now-completely-obsolete">soon be rendered obsolete</a>? Here are nine that are quickly becoming extinct.</p> <h2>1. A Sense of Direction</h2> <p>Two words &mdash; Google Maps. You may be able to navigate around your city like a cab driver around the streets of London, but who cares? With the maps app on your phone, you can get to anywhere you want. There are no wrong turns, no dead ends, and no traffic delays. Everything is synced up to GPS, and you can be a complete newbie to the town or city you're in, and still get where you're going like you've lived there for 50 years. This is great news for people like me, who continue to get lost on the way to work.</p> <h2>2. Parallel Parking</h2> <p>Some people are really good at it. Most of us are okay. Some are terrible. You may be one of those people that brags about your parallel parking skills, but soon you'll be impressing no one. Many higher-end vehicles already come with park assist, but as technology gets less expensive, it migrates to other cars, and is currently available as an option on the Toyota Prius and the Ford Focus. Yes&hellip; the Ford Focus. Give it a few years, and every car will be a perfect parallel parker. And driving itself, when that gets replaced by driverless cars, could also become a skill of the past.</p> <h2>3. Flirting</h2> <p>Really!? Well, perhaps not entirely. There will always be the need to do the dance, using body language, eye contact, all of that. But these days, online dating apps like Tinder, OK Cupid, Plenty Of Fish, and many more, are taking a lot of the hard work out of meeting people in bars and clubs. After all, why risk the rejection when you have a guaranteed date waiting? And not only that, but a date you know a whole lot about, including likes, dislikes, pets, and anything else you want to look up. There are guidebooks out there telling guys how to pick up women, and they are starting to lose their appeal. Quickly.</p> <h2>4. Cursive Writing</h2> <p>Although it is still being taught in schools, cursive writing is rarely used outside of the classroom. Think about it&hellip; when was the last time you wrote anything in cursive? In fact, when was the last time you wrote anything by hand, other than a quick shopping list or note letting someone know you'd be back in 10 minutes? Technology has eliminated the need for cursive writing; we use a keyboard for almost everything, and not just reports, emails, and other documents. From online diaries and blogs, to notepads on smartphones and tablets, keyboards are making cursive go the way of the dodo.</p> <h2>5. Mental Arithmetic</h2> <p>So, this is not discounting the work of mathematicians and scientists; those skills will always be needed by society. However, for most of us, the ability to do calculations in our heads is quickly becoming a task we'd much rather do on our phones. We have this computer on us almost everywhere we go, so why bother crunching the numbers ourselves when a calculator app can do it in half the time, and with certainty? Lazy it may be, but we always take the path of least resistance.</p> <h2>6. Memorization</h2> <p>As with mental arithmetic, having a great memory (which is a learnable skill, by the way) is also becoming obsolete thanks to smartphones. It is very rare to be with a bunch of friends and have that &quot;Oh&hellip; what was the name of that actor who was in that movie?&quot; kinda question get answered with a chorus of &quot;Hang on, I know this one.&quot; Instead, we pull it up on IMDB. The same goes for anything that requires looking into the archives of our minds, from phone numbers and addresses, to recipes and birthdays. It's all available to us at the touch of a button.</p> <h2>7. Spelling</h2> <p>Pretty soon, the only use for being an excellent speller will be to win a spelling bee. It doesn't matter if you cannot spell even the simplest words, your phones and computers have spell checking built into almost everything you use. It's not just in Microsoft Word, but emails, messaging apps, and even design programs. Just look for the little red wavy line, and voila, click to correct. You may be able to spell floccinaucinihilipilification after seven pints of foaming ale, but it's not going to be a skill you need in everyday life.</p> <h2>8. Physical Networking</h2> <p>Remember the days when you had to attend functions, meeting people in your field in order to increase your circle of business colleagues? Well, these days you can do it all over the Internet. Sites like LinkedIn, Monster, Indeed and many others are making it very easy to reach out and find new jobs, or careers. And if you need to hire a professional, you've got millions of people just a click away. There will always be company functions, but that handshake, smile, and charm won't be needed anymore. You can do it all while you're sitting at your desk, or at home while you're watching the game.</p> <h2>9. Filing Hard Copies</h2> <p>There was a real art to filing information, and if you were good at it, you made your own life (and that of your employer) much easier. These days, it can almost all be done on a computer, using filing software that does all the hard work for you. Yes, you may be required to keep hard files on occasion, but even that is being replaced by digital copies. Pretty soon, filing cabinets will be in a museum right next to buggy whips and PDAs.</p> <p><em>What common skills do you see becoming obsolete soon?</em></p> <br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">This article is from <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/paul-michael">Paul Michael</a> of <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/9-skills-that-will-be-obsolete-soon">Wise Bread</a>, an award-winning personal finance and <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/credit-cards">credit card comparison</a> website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:</div><div class="view view-similarterms view-id-similarterms view-display-id-block_2 view-dom-id-1"> <div class="view-content"> <div class="item-list"> <ul> <li class="views-row views-row-1 views-row-odd views-row-first"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/11-ways-freelancers-and-telecommuters-can-make-friends-and-network">11 Ways Freelancers and Telecommuters Can Make Friends and Network</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-2 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/10-back-to-school-iphone-apps">10 Back-to-School iPhone Apps</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-3 views-row-odd"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/15-modern-life-skills-everyone-should-master">15 Modern Life Skills Everyone Should Master</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-4 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/these-5-apps-can-fix-your-finances">These 5 Apps Can Fix Your Finances</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-5 views-row-odd views-row-last"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/bots-chips-and-selfies-how-safe-are-the-new-ways-to-pay">Bots, Chips, and Selfies: How Safe Are the New Ways to Pay?</a></span> </div> </li> </ul> </div> </div> </div> </div><br/></br> Lifestyle Productivity Technology apps Dating maps math networking obsolete skills parallel parking Wed, 12 Aug 2015 11:00:18 +0000 Paul Michael 1515687 at http://www.wisebread.com 10 Relationship Rules You Should Be Breaking http://www.wisebread.com/10-relationship-rules-you-should-be-breaking <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/10-relationship-rules-you-should-be-breaking" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://wisebread.killeracesmedia.netdna-cdn.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/happy_couple_heart_000043736474.jpg" alt="Happy couple breaking common love and relationship rules" title="" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="250" height="140" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p>I don't know what it was like to be in a serious relationship back in the day &mdash; pre-social media, I mean &mdash; but I can imagine that it was much easier than it is in 2015. So much has changed over the past 20 &mdash; heck, even 10 &mdash; years that some of the most trusted and seemingly infallible relationship rules are now all but obsolete. The new school of thought on the issue? Adapt your relationship to today, or face certain doom.</p> <p>To catch you up to speed, here's a look at some of the most prominent relationship rules of yore that you should start kickin' to the curb.</p> <h2>1. Not Going to Bed Angry</h2> <p>My parents still adhere to this rule &mdash; or at least this is a piece of advice that my mother gives me when my marriage hits a rough patch &mdash; but I don't buy it. When we first started out, we tried to resolve the issue at hand before bed, but it rarely resulted in a truce, and the more time wore on, we were just like, screw it, I'm tired, let's resume our battle stations in the morning.</p> <p>I know we're not alone.</p> <p>&quot;If you follow this rule, it could mean a lot of late nights, and nothing escalates an argument more than sleep deprivation and mental exhaustion,&quot; says Dr. Jared DeFife, a clinical psychologist and relationship coach. &quot;I see couples in my practice who feel like they have to adhere to this rule or resolve an argument right away, leading them to drawn-out disputes where nothing gets accomplished and everyone's nerves are fried. When it comes to arguments, it's ok to take a break; in fact, it might even be necessary. You can use that time to calm down, understand your emotions, and return with a level head and a more nuanced perspective.&quot;</p> <p>And hey, there's always the possibility of make-up sex in the morning!</p> <h2>2. Thinking That Love Means Never Having to Say You're Sorry</h2> <p>Excuse while I LOL at this one. Whatever narcissistic dude came up with this (and I'm 100% certain it was a dude) was smokin' the good stuff &mdash; and I want some. Because the truth is, sometimes we're real capital Bs to our partners, and apologies are absolutely necessary.</p> <p>&quot;Nobody's perfect,&quot; Dr. DeFife reminds us. &quot;Sometimes we're grumpy or short-tempered or do the wrong thing. The mark of a good partnership is not in never screwing up or having conflicts, but in being able to recognize those concerns and to effectively make repairs when things go awry. A well-thought through and meaningful apology can actually strengthen a relationship in areas of discontent or disconnection.&quot;</p> <p>I think I'll have that quote printed on a stack of Post-it Notes and hide them in my husband's desk.</p> <h2>3. Playing Hard to Get</h2> <p>Playing hard to get can be fun. But giving the guy or girl the runaround for an extended period of time so you can feed your own ego as they try harder and harder to get your attention also can be dangerous.</p> <p>&quot;This includes waiting an X amount of days or minutes before calling or texting, dumping men who do not initiate contact, and only scheduling activities on certain days or times of the day,&quot; explains Dr. Carolyn C. Ferreira, a licensed clinical psychologist. &quot;Playing hard to get is unattractive to both sexes, and it also prohibits people from being their real selves and expressing their true feelings, which is an overall bad way to begin a relationship.&quot;</p> <h2>4. Waiting a Set Amount of Time After a Breakup</h2> <p>Breaking up or getting a divorce can sometimes feel like somebody died. You've spent most of your time with your partner for however many months or years you were together, then all of a sudden, they're gone. If this was a serious relationship, grieving this loss is a normal emotional reaction, but you shouldn't let other people dictate how long you take to heal. Whenever you feel like you're ready to get back out there and find your next future ex, put on your going-out pants and get back in the game.</p> <p>&quot;People grieve loss at their own pace; someone may be over a divorce in a month, whereas it might take someone else six months,&quot; Dr. Ferreira says.</p> <h2>5. Perpetuating Gender Stereotypes at Home</h2> <p>My husband and I have battled with this since the day we moved in together &mdash; and we're two dudes. Speaking as a man then, it's kind of insulting when someone expects that you'll do the cooking and cleaning because that's traditionally what the female in the relationship does. Not that I mind doing it &mdash; for the most part &mdash; but I don't want it to be an expectation because I'm the smaller, more creative partner in the relationship. I still have dude parts, dude. This type of thinking applies to any scenario, and as far as I'm concerned you can take that &quot;Honeymooners&quot;<em> </em>BS and shove it.</p> <p>&quot;Adhering to household tasks based on gender roles and stereotypes should also be reconsidered by couples,&quot; adds Dr. Ferreira. &quot;Instead of completing tasks because you're the man or woman, couples should look at their strengths and weaknesses as a couple in order to decide who does what. For example, it does not make sense for the man to take care of the finances if he does not know what an Excel spreadsheet is, but his wife does because she's a business owner.&quot;</p> <p>Might be time to start shakin' things up on the homefront, eh?</p> <h2>6. Believing That Fighting Is Healthy</h2> <p>Having lovers' quarrels every now and then is okay; it's good to get issues off your chest. Screaming in each other's face on a regular basis isn't. It's wise to note too that the term &quot;fighting&quot; is relative, and it behooves you to keep your definition of it in check to avoid a dangerous downward spiral.</p> <p>&quot;There are many myths and expectations about fighting in marriage,&quot; says Dr. Tina B. Tessina, psychotherapist and author of &quot;<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1598693255/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=390957&amp;creativeASIN=1598693255&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;tag=wisbre03-20&amp;linkId=UA6JX7TPBBEN43YK">Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting About the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage</a>.&quot; &quot;Couples come into my office frequently believing that fighting is a necessary part of being a couple, that all married couples fight, and it's a normal part of marriage. But the fact is that fighting accomplishes nothing, and it isn't necessary for couples to argue, to yell, or to have heated discussions to get problems solved. Hanging on to these ideas makes it difficult to let go of fighting.&quot;</p> <p>P.S. Don't ever let anybody hit you. Ever. It's not your fault, and you don't deserve it.</p> <h2>7. Searching for Your Soulmate (When You May Not Have One)</h2> <p>What if your soulmate died before you had a chance to meet? Too depressing? I'll let Patricia Johnson and Mark Michaels, relationship experts and co-authors of &quot;<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1627780289/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=390957&amp;creativeASIN=1627780289&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;tag=wisbre03-20&amp;linkId=WLVCALKVABMAJAMI">Partners in Passion</a>,&quot;&nbsp;explain why you may not have a soulmate in a more palatable way.</p> <p>&quot;In contemporary society, there is a very common superstition that finding one's soulmate &mdash; sometimes called a 'twin flame' &mdash; is the key to having a true pair-bond, and that in the absence of this 'other half,' no intimate relationship will be fully satisfying,&quot; Johnson and Michaels say. &quot;Two very damaging concepts are implicit in this belief: first, that there is a single, ideal partner out there in the world for every individual, and second, that people are incomplete until they find their 'other half.'&quot;</p> <p>In other words, stop holding out and start living more. You never know who you'll encounter along the way.</p> <h2>8. Accepting That Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus</h2> <p>Society &mdash; especially American culture &mdash; wants us to believe that men and women are so different that it's like we're each from separate planets. Yes, we have differences, but we also have many similarities that nobody ever seems to want to talk about because it's not interesting enough to sell 50 million books worldwide.</p> <p>&quot;We're not the first to observe that people of all genders are from Earth,&quot; Johnson and Michaels explain. &quot;Beyond that, men and women have more in common with each other than with any other creature on the planet. To make blanket generalizations is not helpful except on the most superficial level. This model builds on older myths &mdash; the concepts of 'opposite sexes' and 'the battle of the sexes' &mdash; and reconfigures them in therapeutic terms. Despite this reframing, the model is still an adversarial one, and adversarial models are not optimal for nurturing harmonious relationships or fueling sexual passion, except in very small doses. Having the sense that you're on opposing teams will only foster conflict.&quot;</p> <h2>9. Assuming That Monogamy Is Natural and Optimal</h2> <p>So I don't get in trouble down the road for providing my personal opinion on long-term relationships and monogamy, I'll let Johnson and Michaels give you theirs.</p> <p>&quot;If human biology inspires us both to form intimate pair bonds and to seek contacts outside of those bonds, then what makes for a healthy relationship is considerably more complex than dogmatic advocates of monogamy (or non monogamy for that matter) would have us believe,&quot; say the pair. &quot;At the same time, the impulse to bond deeply with another is not something that should be dismissed lightly. Our species varies a great deal, and it's a mistake to think about absolutes when it comes to monogamy and non-monogamy.&quot;</p> <h2>10. Dating Within Your Type</h2> <p>Just like I don't want all skinny, redheaded, melanin-free friends, I don't think it's very interesting to pursue a certain &quot;type&quot; of person in a romantic capacity. I've dated all types of guys &mdash; white, black, Asian, Indian, Middle Eastern, and Latino &mdash; and it has only served to broaden my horizons. Still, I have plenty of friends &mdash; especially the religious ones &mdash; who refuse to date outside their race or faith. To each their own of course, but I totally think they're missing out.</p> <p>Relationship expert April Masini agrees.</p> <p>&quot;One of the best ways to get out of a dating rut is to date a Republican if you're a Democrat, or someone rich if you're poor, or a creative type if you're by the book,&quot; she says. &quot;Date out of your religious or racial group. Date someone your mother wouldn't fix you up with &mdash; were you to let her. It'll shake up any rigidity you've succumbed to, and it's a great way to find love. It also expands your resources and gives you a bigger dating pool.&quot;</p> <p><em>What are some of the relationship rules that you think we should be breaking? Let me know in the comments below.</em></p> <br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">This article is from <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/mikey-rox">Mikey Rox</a> of <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/10-relationship-rules-you-should-be-breaking">Wise Bread</a>, an award-winning personal finance and <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/credit-cards">credit card comparison</a> website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:</div><div class="view view-similarterms view-id-similarterms view-display-id-block_2 view-dom-id-3"> <div class="view-content"> <div class="item-list"> <ul> <li class="views-row views-row-1 views-row-odd views-row-first"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/make-these-6-relationship-moves-now-or-youll-regret-it-in-20-years">Make These 6 Relationship Moves Now or You&#039;ll Regret It in 20 Years</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-2 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/5-money-conversations-every-couple-should-have">5 Money Conversations Every Couple Should Have</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-3 views-row-odd"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/6-ways-lust-is-keeping-you-poor">6 Ways Lust Is Keeping You Poor</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-4 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/how-to-be-happy-and-married-24-tips-from-a-24-year-old-marriage">How to Be Happy and Married: 24 Tips from a 24-Year-Old Marriage</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-5 views-row-odd views-row-last"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/5-questions-couples-should-ask-in-the-money-talk">5 Questions Couples Should Ask in the Money Talk</a></span> </div> </li> </ul> </div> </div> </div> </div><br/></br> Personal Development couples Dating love marriage partnership relationships rules Wed, 15 Apr 2015 13:00:09 +0000 Mikey Rox 1382352 at http://www.wisebread.com 9 Ways to Spend Less on Your Significant Other (And Not Get Killed!) http://www.wisebread.com/9-ways-to-spend-less-on-your-significant-other-and-not-get-killed <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/9-ways-to-spend-less-on-your-significant-other-and-not-get-killed" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://wisebread.killeracesmedia.netdna-cdn.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/couple_opening_gift_000054352330.jpg" alt="Couple opening gift" title="" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="250" height="140" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p>Being in a relationship is expensive &mdash; whether you've been together a day or a decade. That means that at some point you'll need to reign in the spending (unless your last name is Gates or Rockefeller). Here are nine ways to do it without ending up on your partner's hit list.</p> <h2>1. Buy Dollar Store Greeting Cards</h2> <p>Tangible cards are quickly losing their appeal in this digital world (I stopped sending out holiday cards five years ago to preserve time, money, and paper), though they're not bygone relics just yet. It's still nice to receive one every now and again. But at an average price of $3 to $7 a pop &mdash; yes, some cards cost as much as a small meal now &mdash; they can put a considerable dent in your gift-buying budget over the course of a year. To scale back, ditch the premium greetings and hit up the dollar store.</p> <p>&quot;I've been purchasing greeting cards from the dollar store ever since I discovered them a few years back,&quot; says Kedal Perez,&nbsp;<a href="http://www.couponsherpa.com">Coupon Sherpa</a>'s resident money-saving expert. &quot;I often find the perfect card &mdash; sometimes two &mdash; for just 50 cents, compared to Hallmark cards costing $4 and up. In addition to holidays, I like to buy 'just because' cards for my husband when I remember to be a good wife. This habit saves me a ton and conveys the sentiment I'm looking for.&quot;</p> <p>While you're there, don't forget to pick up other gift-giving essentials like gift bags, balloons, tissue paper, ribbons, and more.</p> <h2>2. Decorate a Gift Instead of Wrapping It</h2> <p>On one occasion, I didn't have birthday-specific gift wrap for a present for one of my nephews, and in a bind I decided to decorate the plain cardboard box with crayons. My lack of resources resulted in a gift with a thoughtful presentation that didn't cost any additional money. I've kept up this habit with other gifts throughout the year, keeping a considerable amount of cash in my pocket. You also can adopt this practice. Get creative, too. You can use all kinds of items &mdash; markers, glue and glitter, and other crafty-type items like bows and ribbons that you may have lying around.</p> <h2>3. Celebrate a Holiday Post-Holiday</h2> <p>Ready to be a prime-time savings boss? Celebrate big holidays like Valentine's Day and Christmas after February 14 and December 25. It'll probably take a bit of convincing on your part &mdash; having nothing to open on Christmas morning will seem strange &mdash; but if it works out for the both of you, you're looking at substantial markdowns on all the coveted gifts.</p> <p>&quot;My husband and I recently agreed to celebrate certain holidays [like Valentine's Day] after the fact to avoid mark-ups,&quot; Perez says. &quot;He bought me a beautiful bouquet of orange roses and white lilies on February 15, and I loved them just as much as I would have a day earlier.&quot;</p> <h2>4. Buy Flowers From the Grocery Store</h2> <p>Speaking of flowers, you're spending too much if you're going to a local florist. It's an unfortunate fact, because I like to support small business &mdash; but they just don't have the discount buying power that large chain supermarkets do. You will have to contend with a more limited selection, perhaps, but that's an easy compromise to make when a beautiful bouquet doesn't make you weep for all the wrong reasons.</p> <h2>5. Shop the Clearance Section for Gifts</h2> <p>I'm always keeping my eye out for the perfect gift for my husband, and I hit the jackpot when it's from the clearance section. Whenever I'm shopping &mdash; for anything &mdash; that's the first place I go. I bypass the new arrivals, to the eye rolls of the associates, and get my discount on. This is a great tactic to cut costs on birthday, holiday, and anniversary gifts (or just ordinary wardrobe updates), and you can walk away with some amazing deals if you're shopping well out of season.</p> <h2>6. Make a Gift If You Have the Skills</h2> <p>I like receiving shiny gadgets as gifts from my husband, but I would equally appreciate anything he gave me that was completely handmade. The kind of dedication it takes to make a handcrafted gift sends the message that he'd rather spend time on something thoughtful than buy an item that will never have an ounce of sentiment. Those handmade Christmas ornaments would be treasured forever, but I would replace the iPhone he bought me as soon as a new one was released.</p> <p>Brett Hamilton, whose business <a href="http://www.simple.be">SIMPLE.BE</a> was built on the idea of handmade gifts, agrees.</p> <p>&quot;My favorite way to give great gifts to my wife without spending too much is to custom-make practical gifts for her,&quot; he says. &quot;One year I made her a new waterproof duffle bag from vinyl trucker tarps for soccer games. Last year it was a black and white tote bag made from old recycled sails. She loved it so much.&quot;</p> <p>There is one slight complication with this tactic, however: Your SO might get used to the idea of receiving handmade gifts, so you may have to keep it up once you start it. But is that kind of appreciation really so bad?</p> <h2>7. Get Accustomed to Discount Dating</h2> <p>My husband and I have one rule for our dates (or at least I do): Never pay full price.</p> <p>Seriously, if you're planning dates at full retail value, you're doing it all wrong &mdash; and you're paying dearly for it.</p> <p>There's absolutely no reason you shouldn't be saving money on every date you have together, given the abundance and availability of daily-deal sites, coupon codes, free activities, BOGO deals, and other discount dating opportunities. Even when you can't find a discount, there's probably a way to shave off a few bucks if you're willing to adjust your plans. Take the movies, for instance. In my neck of the woods, a regular screening is no less than $12 (up to $22 when you start throwing in 3D and IMAX). But if you plan the date before noon, you can score $7 tickets at certain theaters like AMC. All you need is a little creative thinking to reduce of the cost of virtually any activity or meal date.</p> <p>Also, don't forget to use your military or students discounts where available. My husband forgets to ask about military discounts all the time, which is why it's a good thing he has me. I never forget, and with the money I saved him on this-and-that admission, he has enough left over to buy me lunch.</p> <p>I love when it works out like that.</p> <h2>8. Buy Refurbished Electronics When Appropriate</h2> <p>Some people are picky about the newness of their electronics, so you need to know your partner well enough to be certain they won't act like an ungrateful brat when they find out their gift is previously own or refurbished. Personally, I prefer that my phone is new &mdash; I don't like the idea of someone else using something that touches my face (I know it's clean, but still) &mdash; though I have no qualms with receiving, say, a refurbished iPad. Buying refurbished can save you hundreds of dollars &mdash; and these deals are available for a wealth of electronics, including video games &mdash; so whether or not to implement this tactic is a relevant conversation to have with your guy or girl.</p> <h2>9. Spend More Time and Effort Than Money</h2> <p>Now that we're past the materialistic and superficial things, let's get real: No amount of money you spend will ever equal the value of your time and effort. I touched on this a bit when I talked about handmade gifts, but it really applies to all aspects of your relationship. Gifts are nice, of course, but a reasonable person (read: a keeper) will choose a free date, gift, meal, or experience with you over something with a price tag any day. Learn how to pay attention to one another's needs before it jeopardizes the relationship, and you're on the right track to a happy life together. Good luck!</p> <p><em>Do you have any ideas on how to spend less on your significant other without getting killed? Let me know in the comments below.</em></p> <br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">This article is from <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/mikey-rox">Mikey Rox</a> of <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/9-ways-to-spend-less-on-your-significant-other-and-not-get-killed">Wise Bread</a>, an award-winning personal finance and <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/credit-cards">credit card comparison</a> website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:</div><div class="view view-similarterms view-id-similarterms view-display-id-block_2 view-dom-id-2"> <div class="view-content"> <div class="item-list"> <ul> <li class="views-row views-row-1 views-row-odd views-row-first"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/big-list-of-senior-discounts">Big List of Senior Discounts</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-2 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/regifting-a-simple-how-to-guide">Regifting: A Simple How-To Guide</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-3 views-row-odd"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/90-off-is-not-a-deal-if-you-don-t-need-it">90% off is not a deal if you don’t need it.</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-4 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/the-stuff-i-try-never-to-buy-new">The stuff I try never to buy new</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-5 views-row-odd views-row-last"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/buy-raincoats-in-summer-because-winter-always-comes-0">Buy raincoats in summer, because winter always comes.</a></span> </div> </li> </ul> </div> </div> </div> </div><br/></br> General Tips Shopping bargains cheap gifts Dating Holidays romance Mon, 23 Mar 2015 17:00:07 +0000 Mikey Rox 1351086 at http://www.wisebread.com Ask the Readers: Who Do You Think Should Pay on a First Date? http://www.wisebread.com/ask-the-readers-who-do-you-think-should-pay-on-a-first-date <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/ask-the-readers-who-do-you-think-should-pay-on-a-first-date" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://wisebread.killeracesmedia.netdna-cdn.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/couple-restaurant-dinner-menu-Dollarphotoclub_51880749.jpg" alt="couple restaurant" title="couple restaurant" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="250" height="140" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p><em>Editor's Note: Congratulations to <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/ask-the-readers-who-do-you-think-should-pay-on-a-first-date#comment-767777">An G</a>, Christina, and Ernest for winning this week's contest!</em></p> <p>First dates are tricky. You're worried about what to wear, what to say &mdash; and what to do when the check comes. A man paying for a first date is no longer the hard-and-fast rule. The <a href="http://about.americanexpress.com/news/pr/2015/proposals-more-this-valentine-day.aspx">American Express Spending &amp; Saving Tracker</a> reports that 49% of surveyed Americans believe that the man should pay (down from 51% in 2014), 31% think that whoever asked for the date should cover it, and 14% said the bill should be split. Only 1% believe that the woman should pay for the date.</p> <p><strong>Who do you think should pay on a first date?</strong> Would it be a dealbreaker for you if your date insisted otherwise?</p> <p>Tell us who you think should pay on a first date and we'll enter you in a drawing to win a $20 Amazon Gift Card!</p> <h2>Win 1 of 3 $20 Amazon Gift Cards</h2> <p>We're doing three giveaways &mdash; here's how you can win!</p> <h3>Mandatory Entry:</h3> <ul> <li>Post your answer in the comments below. One commenter will be randomly selected to win a $20 Amazon Gift Card!</li> </ul> <h3>For Extra Entries:</h3> <ul> <li>You can tweet about our giveaway for an extra entry. Also, our Facebook fans can get an extra entry too! Use our Rafflecopter widget for your chance to win one of the other two Amazon Gift Cards:</li> </ul> <p><a class="rcptr" rel="nofollow" data-raflid="79857dfa169" data-theme="classic" data-template="" href="http://www.rafflecopter.com/rafl/display/79857dfa169/">a Rafflecopter giveaway</a> </p> <script src="//widget-prime.rafflecopter.com/launch.js"></script></p> <p>If you're inspired to write a whole blog post OR you have a photo on flickr to share, please link to it in the comments or tweet it.</p> <h4>Giveaway Rules:</h4> <ul> <li>Contest ends Monday, February 23rd at 11:59 p.m. Pacific. Winners will be announced after February 23rd on the original post. Winners will also be contacted via email.<br /> &nbsp;</li> <li>You can enter all three drawings &mdash; once by leaving a comment, once by liking our Facebook update, and once by tweeting.<br /> &nbsp;</li> <li>This promotion is in no way sponsored, endorsed or administered, or associated with Facebook.<br /> &nbsp;</li> <li>You must be 18 and US resident to enter. Void where prohibited.</li> </ul> <p><strong>Good Luck!</strong>&nbsp;</p> <div class="field field-type-text field-field-blog-teaser"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> Tell us who you think should pay for a first date and we&#039;ll enter you in a drawing to win a $20 Amazon Gift Card! </div> </div> </div> <br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">This article is from <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/ashley-jacobs">Ashley Jacobs</a> of <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/ask-the-readers-who-do-you-think-should-pay-on-a-first-date">Wise Bread</a>, an award-winning personal finance and <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/credit-cards">credit card comparison</a> website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:</div><div class="view view-similarterms view-id-similarterms view-display-id-block_2 view-dom-id-1"> <div class="view-content"> <div class="item-list"> <ul> <li class="views-row views-row-1 views-row-odd views-row-first"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/ask-the-readers-how-did-you-spend-your-first-paycheck">Ask the Readers: How Did You Spend Your First Paycheck?</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-2 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/ask-the-readers-what-is-your-new-years-resolution">Ask the Readers: What Is Your New Year&#039;s Resolution?</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-3 views-row-odd"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/ask-the-readers-share-your-favorite-frugal-holiday-tradition">Ask the Readers: Share Your Favorite Frugal Holiday Tradition</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-4 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/ask-the-readers-are-you-optimistic-about-2011">Ask the Readers: Are You Optimistic About 2011?</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-5 views-row-odd views-row-last"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/ask-the-readers-what-is-your-dream-job-0">Ask the Readers: What is Your Dream Job?</a></span> </div> </li> </ul> </div> </div> </div> </div><br/></br> Giveaways Ask the Readers Dating Tue, 17 Feb 2015 16:00:13 +0000 Ashley Jacobs 1289836 at http://www.wisebread.com If You're Doing This on Your First Date, You're Not Getting a Second http://www.wisebread.com/if-youre-doing-this-on-your-first-date-youre-not-getting-a-second <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/if-youre-doing-this-on-your-first-date-youre-not-getting-a-second" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://wisebread.killeracesmedia.netdna-cdn.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/bad-date-163136286-small.jpg" alt="bad date" title="bad date" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="250" height="136" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p>Dating has certainly changed since the world became tech-savvy. With the advent of smart phones, dating apps, and social media, making that awkward first move is not nearly as tough as it used to be. But, once you've both agreed to go on a first date, how do you make sure you get a second? (See also: <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/find-love-with-these-fun-and-cheap-first-date-ideas?ref=seealso">Find Love With These Fun and Frugal First Date Ideas</a>)</p> <p>The following behaviors will guarantee that your first date will almost certainly be your last. Oh, and these apply to both men and women, so don't kid yourself that some of these don't concern you.</p> <h2>Turning Up Late</h2> <p>Leave your date chewing on breadsticks for 45 minutes without so much as a call or text message, and two things will happen. First, if your date has been polite enough to stick around, you'll be sitting through the most painful hour of your year. And second, you will not be making plans to do this again. Ideally, you should show up five minutes early. If you are going to be considerably late through no fault of your own, let your date know. If it is your own fault (and really, it always is), apologize but perhaps cushion the blow with something flattering (&quot;I wanted to look really nice for you and completely lost track of time.&quot;) (See also: <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/how-to-always-be-on-time?ref=seealso">How to Always Be On Time</a>)</p> <h2>Paying Too Much Attention to Your Cell Phone</h2> <p>Really, paying <em>any</em> attention to your cell phone. This is supposed to be a time when you only have eyes for each other. Constantly pulling out your phone to check messages, read Facebook updates and scroll through Reddit and Twitter will not make you very popular. Why would anyone want to give you a second date if you can't put them first for a few hours?</p> <h2>Getting Completely Drunk</h2> <p>Hey, first dates can be nerve-wracking, and a glass of wine or beer can definitely ease the tension. However, you cannot let a few drinks turn into a bender. If you start knocking back the booze like it's ice water in a heat wave, you will come across as an irresponsible jerk that cannot be trusted. You also do not look attractive when you're face down in the dessert and drooling like you've just had major dental surgery. Do yourself a favor. Have one or two drinks, and stop.</p> <h2>Turning the Date Into 20 Questions</h2> <p>First thing's first; people love talking about themselves. So, if you ask questions that get people to open up and talk about their favorite subject, you'll be doing well. Being a good listener is a very attractive quality, and asking about someone's life is just as becoming. But, you can go too far.</p> <p>If it goes from &quot;tell me more about the kind of work you do&quot; to &quot;how much do you earn?&quot; &quot;how many dates have you been on this year?&quot; and &quot;do you vote Republican or Democrat?&quot; your date is going to feel like they're being interviewed for the role of your next partner. That's a big turn off. To curb this, try to make sure the questions you're asking are open-ended, and follow on what was asked before, as opposed to running down a pre-planned checklist.</p> <h2>Talking About Sex</h2> <p>Flirting is good. Being lecherous is bad. This is a first date, and you should be on your best behavior. By all means respond to the signals you're getting in an appropriate manner, but have some decorum. By diving into the subject of sex, you're giving the impression that you're only after one thing. Even if you both decide that the first date will also be your first intimate encounter, there's no need to become aggressive with it. Show some class.</p> <h2>Being Cheap</h2> <p>Both men and women should come to the date expecting to pay for half of it. This is not the dark ages, both sexes deserve equal treatment, and no one should just sit there expecting the other person to dive into their pocket and pay for everything. If the other person wants to pay, by all means acquiesce politely to their wishes. But being cheap is as off-putting as being drunk. You should show your date consideration. Dating can be expensive, and if you are both willing to meet up, you should both be willing to share the costs.</p> <h2>Bringing Your Buddy</h2> <p>There's not really much to say about this. You may have your doubts about the person you're meeting, and you may also want your best friend to give them the once-over. However, there is a time and a place for that kind of consultation, and it is not on the first date. Bring yourself to the date, and no one else.</p> <h2>Focusing On Your Ex</h2> <p>We all have horror stories about our past. We have also had dream dates. Neither should really be discussed unless the conversation naturally turns to it. Even then, it's good to treat an ex the same way you would a former employer in a job interview. Acknowledge them, but move on quickly. If you stay focused on a bad ex, your date may just wonder if you were the problem. If you go on and on about a great ex, they may feel they can never live up to that ideal.</p> <h2>Playing It Too Cool</h2> <p>There's cool. There's aloof. And there's just plain rude. By all means, dull your enthusiasm a little. You don't want to come across as a desperate eager puppy just dying to go home with someone and be their partner forever. But then the whole &quot;I'm so cool I could freeze hell&quot; routine won't cut it either. &quot;Where would you like to go for dinner?&quot; should not be answered with &quot;hey, whatever, I don't really care.&quot; Be happy to be there, just not so happy your kittens are having kittens.</p> <h2>Being Keener Than Mustard</h2> <p>Perhaps even worse than being too cool for school is being an eager beaver. You turn up for the date with armfuls of gifts, and have pre-arranged for a string quartet to play your date's favorite song (which you found out by cyber-stalking them). It's just too creepy, and honestly, no one wants to be around someone that desperate (even if that is not your intention). Ease off on the gas. By all means show that you're happy to be around, but if you could be a contestant on The Price Is Right, you might want to think about toning down your hyperactivity.</p> <p><em>So, what first date mistakes have you made? What about mistakes your date made? Please share in comments!</em></p> <br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">This article is from <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/paul-michael">Paul Michael</a> of <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/if-youre-doing-this-on-your-first-date-youre-not-getting-a-second">Wise Bread</a>, an award-winning personal finance and <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/credit-cards">credit card comparison</a> website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:</div><div class="view view-similarterms view-id-similarterms view-display-id-block_2 view-dom-id-1"> <div class="view-content"> <div class="item-list"> <ul> <li class="views-row views-row-1 views-row-odd views-row-first"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/10-basic-manners-you-must-teach-your-kids">10 Basic Manners You Must Teach Your Kids</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-2 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/5-ways-good-manners-make-you-wealthier">5 Ways Good Manners Make You Wealthier</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-3 views-row-odd"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/18-things-people-with-good-social-skills-never-do">18 Things People With Good Social Skills Never Do</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-4 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/12-ways-youre-driving-your-coworkers-insane">12 Ways You&#039;re Driving Your Coworkers Insane</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-5 views-row-odd views-row-last"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/8-old-school-manners-we-want-back">8 Old School Manners We Want Back</a></span> </div> </li> </ul> </div> </div> </div> </div><br/></br> Family Lifestyle Personal Development Dating etiquette first dates manners romance Wed, 09 Jul 2014 17:00:07 +0000 Paul Michael 1154565 at http://www.wisebread.com Best Money Tips: Which Online Dating Service Is Right for You http://www.wisebread.com/best-money-tips-which-online-dating-service-is-right-for-you <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/best-money-tips-which-online-dating-service-is-right-for-you" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://wisebread.killeracesmedia.netdna-cdn.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/laptop-4845541-small.jpg" alt="woman using laptop" title="woman using laptop" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="250" height="167" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p>Welcome to Wise Bread&#39;s <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/topic/best-money-tips">Best Money Tips</a> Roundup! Today we found some stellar articles on which dating service is right for you, achieving anything, and staying ahead of a disorganized boss.</p> <h2>Top 5 Articles</h2> <p><a href="http://lifehacker.com/which-online-dating-service-is-right-for-me-1506628817">Which Online Dating Service is Right for Me?</a> &mdash; If you are looking for a dating site with with advanced dateology, try OkCupid or Zoosk. [Lifehacker]</p> <p><a href="http://www.savvysugar.com/How-Get-More-Willpower-33521396">Achieve Anything With These 8 Powerful Willpower Tips</a> &mdash; If you want to achieve anything, relax and make small deadlines. [PopSugar Smart Living]</p> <p><a href="http://timemanagementninja.com/2014/01/how-to-stay-ahead-of-a-disorganized-boss/">How to Stay Ahead of a Disorganized Boss</a> &mdash; To stay ahead of a disorganized boss, over-communicate with them and ask for feedback. [Time Management Ninja]</p> <p><a href="http://www.johnnymoneyseed.com/how-life-works/easy-road-hard-road/">The Easy Road and The Hard Road</a> &mdash; Stop letting yourself be advertised to unless products will actually save you money. This will help you avoid leading the normal consumer lifestyle. [Johnny Moneyseed]</p> <p><a href="http://sweatingthebigstuff.com/start-investing-pity-party-excuses/">sStart Investing, No Pity Party, No Excuses </a> &mdash; Don&#39;t use the excuse of not having the budget to invest keep you from investing. [Sweating the Big Stuff]</p> <h2>Other Essential Reading</h2> <p><a href="http://www.marcandangel.com/2014/01/19/9-ways-to-never-regret-another-day-of-your-life/">9 Ways to Never Regret Another Day of Your Life</a> &mdash; To never regret another day of your life, let go of disappointments and take calculated risks. [Marc and Angel Hack Life]</p> <p><a href="http://www.dumblittleman.com/2014/01/5-ways-to-help-you-get-started-on-your.html">5 Ways To Help You Get Started On Your Most Important Work</a> &mdash; Buddying up to get accountable can help you get started on your most important work. [Dumb Little Man]</p> <p><a href="http://sustainablepersonalfinance.com/3-times-makes-sense-pay-someone-else-something/">3 Times it Makes Sense to Pay Someone to Do Something For You</a> &mdash; You may want to pay someone to do something for you if you don&#39;t have the equipment you need. [Sustainable Personal Finance]</p> <p><a href="http://www.frugalconfessions.com/entertainment/5-ways-pinterest-has-added-value-to-my-frugal-life.php">5 Ways Pinterest has Added Value to My Frugal Life</a> &mdash; Did you know Pinterest can help you make expensive art for a fraction of its actual cost? [Frugal Confessions]</p> <p><a href="http://parentingsquad.com/how-and-why-to-plan-a-blessingway">How (and Why) to Plan a Blessingway</a> &mdash; A blessingway is the celebration of a woman&#39;s transition into motherhood. [Parenting Squad]</p> <br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">This article is from <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/ashley-jacobs">Ashley Jacobs</a> of <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/best-money-tips-which-online-dating-service-is-right-for-you">Wise Bread</a>, an award-winning personal finance and <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/credit-cards">credit card comparison</a> website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:</div><div class="view view-similarterms view-id-similarterms view-display-id-block_2 view-dom-id-3"> <div class="view-content"> <div class="item-list"> <ul> <li class="views-row views-row-1 views-row-odd views-row-first"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/looking-for-love-online">Looking for Love (Online)</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-2 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/a-simple-plan-for-saving-up-a-2000-fun-fund">A Simple Plan for Saving Up a $2000 Fun Fund</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-3 views-row-odd"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/17-things-car-salesmen-dont-want-you-to-know">17 Things Car Salesmen Don&#039;t Want You to Know</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-4 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/6-ways-lust-is-keeping-you-poor">6 Ways Lust Is Keeping You Poor</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-5 views-row-odd views-row-last"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/how-baking-soda-took-my-bathroom-from-yuck-to-yes">How Baking Soda Took My Bathroom from “Yuck” to Yes!</a></span> </div> </li> </ul> </div> </div> </div> </div><br/></br> Life Hacks best money tips Dating online dating service site Fri, 31 Jan 2014 11:00:14 +0000 Ashley Jacobs 1122375 at http://www.wisebread.com The Online Dating First Date: Get a Drink http://www.wisebread.com/the-online-dating-first-date-get-a-drink <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/the-online-dating-first-date-get-a-drink" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://wisebread.killeracesmedia.netdna-cdn.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/5505229173_98bbc19115_z.jpg" alt="couple drinking coffee" title=" couple drinking coffee" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="250" height="167" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p>Single folks, repeat after me &mdash; &quot;Would you like to go out for a drink?&quot;</p> <p>It can be coffee. It can be a beer, cocktail, or glass of wine. It can be tea. Bubble tea. Juice. A milkshake. Heck, it can be for <a href="http://www.thewaterworksrestaurant.com/menus/5/">bottled water</a> if you want. (Going to a bottled-water bar could either be a hilarious first date or one of the most pretentiously off-putting things I can think of. Take a gamble!)</p> <p>But seriously, make your first date grabbing a drink.</p> <p>A few months ago, I rejoined the ranks of the single &mdash; and I returned to the hopeful, frustrating, and sometimes pleasantly surprising world of online dating. While I've had my share of terrible dates &mdash; dates where pulling conversation out of the other person was about as easy and pleasant as pulling a particularly onerous clog of hair out of the drain &mdash; I've really been enjoying the opportunity to meet new people I would never meet otherwise. (See also:&nbsp;<a href="http://www.wisebread.com/from-5-to-30-date-ideas-for-every-budget">From $5 to $30+, Date Ideas for Every&nbsp;Budget</a>)</p> <p>Perhaps even more than meeting new people, though, I've enjoyed how dating has both made me closer to my existing friends and helped me forge new friendships. People LOVE talking about dating &mdash; about what a good relationship means, what kind of people you meet on each dating site, and how many dates you go on before you have the &quot;what are we doing?&quot; talk.</p> <p>And one thing that everyone agrees on, no matter what dating site you use &mdash; OkCupid, Match.com, eHarmony, Plenty of Fish, or whatever else &mdash; always get a drink for your first date.</p> <p>Why?</p> <h2>1. It's Frugal</h2> <p>Yeah, you're reading a frugal-living website &mdash; this is obviously going to be the first point.&nbsp;But dating can be expensive! I've been on exactly one online-dating first date that consisted of dinner, and I made a special exception because we had been talking about older restaurants. The date was fun, although I wasn't interested in a second date &mdash; and it cost me over $30. I think that $30 <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/big-bytes-using-tech-for-restaurant-discounts">isn't unreasonable for a good meal and drink out</a>, but if you going on a few dinner dates a month where you could have just gotten a $2 cup of coffee instead...? Well, that makes quite a difference.</p> <h2>2. You Have an Easy Out</h2> <p>If it's immediately obvious that you guys just don't have that spark, you have an easy out &mdash; it's just a drink. Stay 45 minutes, chat, and kindly take your leave. If you're at a meal or an event, getting out is a dicier situation.</p> <h2>3. You're in&nbsp;Public</h2> <p>I'm generally a pretty trusting person, but you <em>are</em> meeting a stranger for the first time. I've had people suggest hikes for first dates. While I love hiking (and <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/50-ways-to-have-free-outdoor-fun">love that it's free</a>), I'd prefer to not have the first time I meet someone be when we're walking alone on a trail into the wilderness.</p> <h2>4. You Have Something to Do (That Isn't Too&nbsp;Demanding)</h2> <p>I'm a fidgeter. I like having something to do &mdash; even if it's as small as taking a sip of coffee. (And then, realistically, usually shredding the coffee cup or beer label or whatever it is.) But, at the same time, you're not doing a more-involved activity that makes it difficult to talk and get to know the person.</p> <p><em>So, readers &mdash; do you agree?&nbsp;Or do you have a different favorite cheap first date?</em></p> <br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">This article is from <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/meg-favreau">Meg Favreau</a> of <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/the-online-dating-first-date-get-a-drink">Wise Bread</a>, an award-winning personal finance and <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/credit-cards">credit card comparison</a> website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:</div><div class="view view-similarterms view-id-similarterms view-display-id-block_2 view-dom-id-4"> <div class="view-content"> <div class="item-list"> <ul> <li class="views-row views-row-1 views-row-odd views-row-first"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/6-ways-lust-is-keeping-you-poor">6 Ways Lust Is Keeping You Poor</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-2 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/4-ways-millennials-are-changing-marriage">4 Ways Millennials Are Changing Marriage</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-3 views-row-odd"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/how-much-should-you-actually-be-spending-on-a-date">How Much Should You Actually Be Spending on a Date?</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-4 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/9-skills-that-will-be-obsolete-soon">9 Skills That Will Be Obsolete Soon</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-5 views-row-odd views-row-last"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/if-youre-doing-this-on-your-first-date-youre-not-getting-a-second">If You&#039;re Doing This on Your First Date, You&#039;re Not Getting a Second</a></span> </div> </li> </ul> </div> </div> </div> </div><br/></br> Lifestyle bars coffee Dating Tue, 19 Mar 2013 09:37:00 +0000 Meg Favreau 969794 at http://www.wisebread.com