lingerie

4 Easy Steps to Buying Lingerie for Your Wife, Girlfriend, or Significant Other

Treacle — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 23:12:44 +0000

The first time my mother took me to a lingerie store, I felt like I was on the inside of an exploding confetti factory. There were so many colors and sizes and shapes and textures, that I couldn’t make sense of it all. With Valentine’s Day right around the corner, many men are finding themselves in a similar situation.

You want to buy something special, something intimate for your woman, but you haven’t the faintest where to start. I understand your frustration, and I know how important it is to find the perfect gift. So here’s a short, uncomplicated guide to buying the perfect lingerie.

Sizing

Knowing your woman’s size is the most important step of this entire endeavor. It’s like the foundation of your home: without it, you got nothing. Think about it, there is no way you can buy the wrong size and have it turn out okay. Too large and she’ll be wondering if you think she’s really that big. Too small, and she’ll think you’re hinting that she needs to lose a few.

Fortunately, this is also the easiest step of all. Just take a look inside her lingerie drawer. If you don’t have access to her lingerie drawer, then you can try checking the size while she’s in the shower or some such. If all else fails (for example, she cuts all the tags out of her bras and panties), just ask. I promise she’ll love the anticipation.

So, once you get these numbers, write them down. Rely on memory at your own peril. I suggest just jotting her sizes onto a scrap of paper and sticking it in your wallet. That way, when you go the store, you’re ready to go.

Style

Now that you’ve discovered her size, you can move on to determining her style. The best time to do this is while you're checking her lingerie drawer. There are three things you want to take note of here: cut, fabric, and color. When it comes to cut, notice if her bras are full cup, half cup, or camisole style. Take note if she wears briefs or boyshorts or thongs. As far as fabric, do you see a lot of cotton or silk or lace? While examining color, is it mostly black or pastels or jewel tones? These are important cues.

Some folks may not understand the point of this step. “The lingerie is a gift for both of us,” they might say, “I want to buy something I’ll enjoy seeing her in.” While I understand that perspective, I think it’s flawed. The best way to ensure your lady wears your gift (as opposed to “forgetting” about it) is to buy something you already know she likes. Buying the style she prefers makes her more comfortable. A comfortable woman is a confident woman. And a confident woman is a sexy woman.

Now that you’re acquainted with her tastes, it’s time to take all that information to the store. Start by finding pieces which are pretty much identical to the ones you saw in her lingerie drawer. That’s your baseline. After establishing your baseline, begin looking at lingerie which deviates slightly from what you’re familiar with. Don’t look at the price tag yet (that comes later), just identify things that are close, but not quite the same, to what she already owns.

For example, if her lingerie drawer had a bunch of flesh-toned bras, a black one might be a nice change. Did you see a lot of boyshorts? Then a “cheeky” cut thong would be the next logical step. Chili pepper flannel pajamas? Then take a look at the lush, silk pajamas. The key here is not change more than one or two elements at once. If your wife goes to bed every night in an old t-shirt and nubby socks, you probably don’t want to leap to sheer backless teddies with matching g-strings.

Sticker

By now, you’ve picked out a couple of items that you like and that look similar to what she already wears. Now it’s time to take a look at the price tag. Whatever you see, don’t be shocked. Square inch for square inch, lingerie is probably more expensive than premium real estate, and here’s why — you’re not just paying for the materials, you’re also paying for the labor. Obviously, no one wants to wear rough fabric against their delicate bits all day, so lingerie uses some of the finest threads available. But you’re also paying for what basically amounts to architecture for the human body. Lingerie both conceals and supports. For that reason, you gents who are blessed with curvy gals should be prepared to spend slightly more. It’s worth it.

While we’re on the subject of worth, let me encourage you not to pinch pennies when it comes to lingerie. I understand setting a budget, and that’s fine, but if you go too cheap, your purchase won’t last a night. Not only will you want to see your lover in her gift more than once, quality (by which I mean more expensive) lingerie tends to feel better, too. And we’ve already covered the relationship between looking good and feeling good.

To make things even easier, here’s a shortlist of what not to buy — bodystockings, cupless, crotchless, & cut-out styles, glitter, rhinestones, feathers, fringe, tassels, "strappy” or “cage” looks, pvc, vinyl, and polyester. Steer clear of all that, and you’ll be on the right track.

Salesperson

If you do all this and are still completely and utterly confused, find the closest salesperson. Helping you shop is their job. Some high-end stores even offer personal shoppers, and it might be worth enlisting their services, especially if you have very specific needs.

Finally, if absolutely nothing works, buy her a gift certificate. Shopping for lingerie together makes a fantastic Valentine’s Day date! Good luck and Happy Shopping.

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Guest Post Blurb:

This is a guest post by Treacle, a 25 year old knickers junkie who believes every woman deserves beautiful lingerie...even if no one ever sees it. Read more articles by Treacle:

This article is from Treacle of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

Couplehood: Avoiding the Valentine Clichés

Andrea Karim — Thu, 08 Feb 2007 23:55:51 +0000

Valentine’s Day is nearly upon us, and you know what that means: Lots of people are going to buy lots of dumb crap. But you are above and beyond that, because you read Wise Bread. I’m not saying that Wise Bread readers are smarter than everyone else, but I’m definitely implying it.

Here are some common V-Day clichés that should be avoided at all cost. Well, not at all costs, because this IS supposedly a site about frugal living, but you get the idea.

1. Chocolates

Chocolate is a lovely, lovely thing, as long as your recipient likes it. Does your date like Skittles better? More of a Sour Patch Kids kind of guy? Consider these things before buying. If you settle on chocolate, then a huge box is unnecessary and tacky, and let’s face it, the chocolates suck. You’re much better off buying a small box of exquisite chocolates than a big slab o’ yuck.

If chocolates aren’t the thing, consider other sweets. Fresh mochi is good, although probably better arranged on a nice platter. If you have someone who is very Japanorama, pocky is always appreciated. Aforementioned Skittles look super-cute in a pretty glass jar.

2. Roses

I’ve already expressed my feelings about roses. Find something more interesting and less expensive. Arrange them yourself.

If your recipient has a green thumb, you might consider a live plant. Something cool, though, not a chrysanthemum from Albertson’s. Think about a small banzai, a gardenia, lemon tree, pretty cactus planter, or a venus fly trap. (You could totally do a “Venus” theme if you went with the flytrap. You could also give a card shaped like the planet Venus, show up in a toga, and lip-synch “I’m your Venus.”)

3. Lovey-Dovey Hallmark Card

If you want to express your feelings, a Hallmark card covered in cupids, puppies, and pink hearts is a dumb way to do it. The oversized ones are even worse.

You can make your own card, but only if you have some sort of artistic talent, or if you TOTALLY AND UTTERLY LACK ANY ARTISTIC TALENT WHATSOEVER. Somewhere in between won’t cut it. I once saw a flip-book Valentine that was given to a friend by her crush. He used stick figures, but the simple little cartoon featured him handing her a heart and then getting a kiss in return. Super cute, and it only cost him a couple of bucks for the index cards and markers. And an hour of his time, but that's the point. Effort.

One time when I was totally broke, I surprised my romantic mark by covering their doorway with paper hearts. I stole the scrap paper from my workplace, so it was really, really free. But it was a pretty good set-up, if I do say so myself.

4. Candlelight Dinner and Champagne

If you are doing this yourself, then awesome. If you are going out, then more power to you. I like a smaller venue for romantic dinners, but sometimes the wacky places can be just as fun. I actually prefer jazz bars for a truly romantic moment — the ones that allow dancing are even better. But figuring out something different or unusual shouldn’t be too hard. Been wanting to try Ethiopian food? Give it a shot. You can giggle nervously together while eating with your hands. Dress appropriately and make reservations ahead of time if you can.

Champagne is great. I’d rather enjoy it at home after dinner. It’s a great prelude to other things, like… Scrabble.

5. Lingerie/Silk Boxers

It is so, so difficult to pick out lingerie for someone else. I don’t even recommend trying it unless something VERY specific has been pointed out to you and you are completely secure in your knowledge of what size is needed. She will not be happy to receive a size 16 nightie if she’s a size 6. Likewise, he’ll look stupid drowning in XL boxers if he’s 5’6” and 120 pounds.

6. Stuffed Toys

In a word: no. That goes double for candy hearts and glitter stuffed into envelopes. Unless you have managed to find someone who genuinely loves stuffed toys (and if you have, think twice about the mental acuity of this person), then leave the childish stuff to the children. Or, if you must, don’t don’t don’t get a teddy bear. Get a Valentine’s Day dragon or something.

7. Jewelry and/or Perfume

Jewelry is pricey. I’d avoid it altogether. Yes, there are cheap, chintzy gold necklaces to be had at great prices in malls across America. But it’s just a messy idea. The real stuff costs a lot, and there are better holidays on which to give it. If V-Day is your special jewelry day, well, then, I can't help you, except to hint that vintage jewels are hot right now, and a sapphire kicks more butt than a diamond could any day.

Ditto on perfume. I love perfume, but men and women have different senses of smell. Unless you’ve been given specific directions by someone in the know, don’t bother. If your love has a signature scent, you can always buy some related product, like a body lotion or a powder, but let’s face it, that’s just not very romantic. I say nix it.

Mind you, if you are really talented and super-loaded, you could pull a Smoove B and do all of the clichés in one night. But your date will have to have a great sense of irony, or post-irony, or whatever it is that we have these days.

This article is from Andrea Karim of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

Givin' 'em the Slip - Look Rich for Very Little

Andrea Karim — Thu, 08 Feb 2007 20:14:06 +0000

So I was watching Mr. and Mrs. Smith the other day, and there's one delicious scene in which Angelina, I mean, Jane, is getting dressed in an insanely large walk-in closet. And she's wearing a slip set. I realized how long it's been since I saw anyone wearing a slip. Maybe when I watched/slept through A Streetcar Named Desire? Cat on a Hot Tin Roof? I can't recall, but slips seem to have gone the way of the giant powder puff and embroidered handkerchiefs — and that's a shame.

So, I'm starting a campaign to bring back the slip.

Like our clothes, the slip (and the body shaper, and everything else) has become more techy, more stretchy, more comfy, and easier to tolerate. Some slips are pricey, others are cheap. This is one of the few items of clothing that I believe should be invested in — so buy the good stuff, because it will not only look the best, but will last a long time.

Buying

When purchasing your first dressy undergarments, like other lingerie, it can be helpful to get fitted for one by a professional. If you don't live in an area with a good department store that can tell you what size will work best with your body and wardrobe, you can find tons of slip-sizing information online.

1. Half Slip

The classic under-skirt slip. Traditional versions start at the waist or hips, and end somewhere around the knee. I don't think that a knee-length slip is worth it — almost no business skirts reach the knee these days. A 14-17" slip will really do the trick if you want to maintain a professional image. Having a slip peeking out the bottom of your skirt or dress is kind of uncouth. I'm shocked at how many truly useless, bunchy slips are on the market. Avoid anything that is made of really cheap material, which can be prone to static.

2. Full Slip

I love wearing dresses, so a full slip is often a very important part of my everyday wear. I like the ones by Spanx, but they are a tad pricey. There are many cheaper options that do the job just as well. You can even buy vintage slips, should you like that look.

3. Body Shapers

Spanx makes an incredible line of undergarments that will gently squish and squeeze you into a largely unlumpy state. I've used their body shapers for every wedding I've attended in the past six years. I don't like Spanx's bras, which they push on you at Nordstrom, because they offer zero support for anything more than a size-A cup. But smaller gals may appreciate how comfy they are. Target has their own line of imitation Spanx, called Assets (har!).

4. Camisoles

Although pretty much every tank top sold these days is a modified cami, these can actually be worn under your clothing as well. Camis are a great way to prevent anyone from realizing that it's chilly in the conference room, if you catch my drift. Camis can range from very plain to super-sexy. But they should never bunch up.

5. Care

As a fan of Spanx, I have been sorely disappointed with how quickly the material disintegrates after I throw them through the wash. Saleswomen at department stores will often try to sell you special detergents for your undies. You can buy them, or just buy some Woolite and use that. Although it's difficult to do, ALWAYS wash your expensive undergarments either by hand, or in a zippered mesh net in cold water. Do not throw any of these items through the dryer. Hang them up to dry.

6. Fun and Glamour

Aside from looking better with little effort, the great thing about slips and camis is that they can be kind of fun to wear. I like getting dressed in the morning, and prancing around in my half slip, feeling all feminine and pretty while I select my outfit for the day. It doesn't matter that my dogs don't appreciate the movie-star classiness of my morning routine as I sit at my vanity and practice raising my eyebrows like Vivian Leigh while spritzing with my favorite perfume. What matters is that I enjoy it, and the difference shows in my countenance all day long.

This article is from Andrea Karim of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread: