love http://www.wisebread.com/taxonomy/term/978/all en-US Flashback Friday: 104 Sweet Ways to Celebrate Valentine's Day http://www.wisebread.com/flashback-friday-104-sweet-ways-to-celebrate-valentines-day <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/flashback-friday-104-sweet-ways-to-celebrate-valentines-day" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://wisebread.killeracesmedia.netdna-cdn.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/couple_in_love_000074614141.jpg" alt="Couple finding sweet ways to celebrate Valentine&#039;s Day" title="" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="250" height="140" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p>Valentine's Day is all about the love, but it's also about the money. And we tend to spend a whole lot of it just to show our significant others how much they mean to us. As nice as it is to give &mdash; or to receive &mdash; a shiny new toy, or a bundle of chocolates, it's simply not necessary to expressing your love for your favorite person. You <em>can</em> celebrate Valentine's Day with your partner without breaking the bank.</p> <p>Here are 104 sweet (and frugal) ways to celebrate Valentine's Day this year.</p> <p><img src="http://wisebread.killeracesmedia.netdna-cdn.com/files/fruganomics/u5171/couple-valentines-day-breakfast-Dollarphotoclub_73459350_0.jpg" width="605" height="340" alt="" /></p> <p><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/14-ways-to-spend-less-money-on-valentines-day">14 Ways to Spend Less Money on Valentine's Day</a> &mdash; Show your Valentine how much you adore them without emptying your wallet. These low-cost and super romantic Valentine's Day date ideas will have your sweetie swooning.</p> <p><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/13-ways-to-make-money-from-valentines-day">13 Ways to Make Money From Valentine's Day</a> &mdash; Who knew you could actually turn a profit on one of the most expensive holidays of the year? Turn on your entrepreneurial side and cash in on Valentine's Day this year.</p> <p><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/14-mostly-frugal-valentine-s-day-recipes">14 (Mostly) Frugal Valentine&rsquo;s Day Recipes</a> &mdash; Skip the crowds and pricey Prix Fixe menus and make a romantic meal at home. These yummy Valentine's Day recipes will meet your budget <em>and</em> satisfy your tastebuds.</p> <p><img src="http://wisebread.killeracesmedia.netdna-cdn.com/files/fruganomics/u5171/chocolate-covered-strawberries-Dollarphotoclub_60362926.jpg" width="605" height="340" alt="" /></p> <p><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/15-delicious-homemade-treats-your-valentine-will-love">15 Delicious Homemade Treats Your Valentine Will Love</a> &mdash; Would anyone turn down chocolate covered strawberries? What about red velvet cookie pops? Here are a bunch of delectable DIY sweet treats that can't miss.</p> <p><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/20-valentines-day-gifts-for-10-or-less">20 Valentine's Day Gifts for $10 or Less</a> &mdash; All you need is a crisp $10 bill to get something special for your special someone. It doesn't get any easier or more budget-friendly than that, folks.</p> <p><img src="http://wisebread.killeracesmedia.netdna-cdn.com/files/fruganomics/u5171/couple_love_romance_000022750225.jpg" width="605" height="340" alt="" /></p> <p><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/celebrate-love-not-money-with-these-recycled-valentines-day-gifts">Celebrate Love, Not Money, With These Recycled Valentine's Day Gifts</a> &mdash; You know what they say, &quot;One man's trash is another man's extremely thoughtful, gently used Valentine's Day gift.&quot; Wait, that's not right. But whatever! These thrifted gifts are sure to woo your one and only.</p> <p><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/affordable-flowers-for-valentines-day-or-any-day">Affordable Flowers for Valentine's Day (or Any Day)</a> &mdash; Roses are red. Violets are blue. Don't buy roses on Valentine's Day when these other gorgeous flowers will do!</p> <p><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/14-valentine-s-day-desserts-that-hit-the-sweet-spot">14 Valentine&rsquo;s Day Desserts That Hit the (Sweet) Spot</a> &mdash; True story: the way to anyone's heart is through their stomach. And whipping up any of these rich and delish Valentine's Day desserts will make you the best Valentine ever.</p> <p><em>How are you celebrating Valentine's Day this year? Share with us in the comments!</em></p> <br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">This article is from <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/chrissa-hardy">Chrissa Hardy</a> of <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/flashback-friday-104-sweet-ways-to-celebrate-valentines-day">Wise Bread</a>, an award-winning personal finance and <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/credit-cards">credit card comparison</a> website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:</div><div class="view view-similarterms view-id-similarterms view-display-id-block_2 view-dom-id-5"> <div class="view-content"> <div class="item-list"> <ul> <li class="views-row views-row-1 views-row-odd views-row-first"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/flashback-friday-119-amazing-meals-you-can-make-from-a-can">Flashback Friday: 119 Amazing Meals You Can Make From a Can</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-2 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/flashback-friday-122-scrumptious-super-bowl-party-snack-ideas">Flashback Friday: 122 Scrumptious Super Bowl Party Snack Ideas</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-3 views-row-odd"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/flashback-friday-106-delicious-lunches-that-will-make-you-excited-to-brown-bag-it">Flashback Friday: 106 Delicious Lunches That Will Make You Excited to Brown-Bag It</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-4 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/flashback-friday-41-coffee-hacks-that-will-instantly-improve-your-morning">Flashback Friday: 41 Coffee Hacks That Will Instantly Improve Your Morning</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-5 views-row-odd views-row-last"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/flashback-friday-the-107-best-breakfast-hacks-to-start-your-day-off-right">Flashback Friday: The 107 Best Breakfast Hacks to Start Your Day Off Right</a></span> </div> </li> </ul> </div> </div> </div> </div><br/></br> Frugal Living Food and Drink Dating fbf flashback friday Food frugal foods love Valentine Valentine's Day Fri, 12 Feb 2016 11:00:10 +0000 Chrissa Hardy 1655103 at http://www.wisebread.com Celebrate Love, Not Money, With These Recycled Valentine's Day Gifts http://www.wisebread.com/celebrate-love-not-money-with-these-recycled-valentines-day-gifts <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/celebrate-love-not-money-with-these-recycled-valentines-day-gifts" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://wisebread.killeracesmedia.netdna-cdn.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/couple_love_romance_000022750225.jpg" alt="Couple exchanging recycled Valentine&#039;s Day gifts" title="" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="250" height="140" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p>Are you tired of feeling more anxious than excited as each major holiday rolls around? Do you think it's absurd that Valentine's Day merchandise starts hitting the shelves the day after Christmas? Me too. This Valentine's Day, let's stage a coup and not spend a single dime on trinkets and gimmicks and glittery gewgaws. Let's escape the clichés and consumerism and return to true romance with these second-hand Valentine's Day gift ideas.</p> <h2>1. A Book of Classical Poetry</h2> <p>Want to wax romantic but can't find the words? Buy a used book of classical poetry for $1.50 and bookmark your favorite selections with a little paper heart.</p> <h2>2. Vintage Stemware</h2> <p>Pair a bottle of good wine with a set of antique wine glasses and turn a cliché gift into the ultimate romantic gesture. For maximum impact, choose ornate etched or cut stemware pieces (around $1.00 each at most thrift shops). Don't be afraid to mix patterns and don't worry about finding complete sets &mdash; after all, just two glasses will do!</p> <h2>3. Two Identical Books</h2> <p>Isn't the real value of any holiday time spent together? This Valentine's Day, visit your local Goodwill store and pick up two copies of the same book &mdash; one for you and one for your better half. Start your own little romantic reading group for less than $5.00. Read in bed together, discuss the plot twists over breakfast, and start a whole new conversation between the two of you.</p> <h2>4. A Project Piece for Two</h2> <p>Ready to take togetherness to the next level? Browse your local thrift store for a small project you can work on with your loved one. Choose something that presents a fun challenge but won't overwhelm you or your partner (remember, frustration and exhaustion aren't sexy). Restore a weathered birdhouse, beat-up bench, or salvaged mirror. Then, bask in the glow of your combined creative genius. (See also: <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/18-amazing-diy-decorating-projects-that-are-easier-than-you-think?ref=seealso">18 Amazing DIY Decorating Projects That Are Easier Than You Think</a>)</p> <h2>5. An Antique Vase</h2> <p>Amp up your flower power and turn a conventional gift into a something entirely unique. Pick up an antique porcelain or stoneware vase for a few bucks and, instead of roses, add a less expensive wildflower bouquet. Can't find a vase that suits you? Try a large vintage canning jar.</p> <h2>6. A Vintage Frame</h2> <p>Buy a vintage picture frame for just a couple of dollars and add a photo from your honeymoon, anniversary, or other special occasion. Are you half of a brand-new couple? Take a series of retro photobooth-style pics (yes, <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/pocketbooth-photo-booth-that/id385145330?mt=8">there's an app</a> for that) while holding printed messages like &quot;Be Mine,&quot; &quot;Our First Valentine's Day,&quot; or &quot;Love Me Tender.&quot;</p> <h2>7. An Antique Porcelain Plate</h2> <p>Buy a hand-painted antique plate or small silver-plated tray. Fill with individually-wrapped fine chocolates and add a handmade card. It's the perfect gift and it costs less than $20.00. (See also: <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/15-delicious-homemade-treats-your-valentine-will-love?ref=seealso">15 Delicious Homemade Treats Your Valentine Will Love</a>)</p> <h2>8. A Date Night Basket</h2> <p>Thrift stores are filled with baskets; pick up a large one for two or three bucks and fill it with everything you'll need for a stay-at-home date night. Add a favorite DVD, microwave popcorn, pretzels, craft beer, and a homemade &quot;Do Not Disturb&quot; sign for the front door.</p> <p><em>What's your all-time favorite Valentine's Day gift? How do you and your special someone celebrate without all the commercialism?</em></p> <br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">This article is from <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/kentin-waits">Kentin Waits</a> of <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/celebrate-love-not-money-with-these-recycled-valentines-day-gifts">Wise Bread</a>, an award-winning personal finance and <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/credit-cards">credit card comparison</a> website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:</div><div class="view view-similarterms view-id-similarterms view-display-id-block_2 view-dom-id-1"> <div class="view-content"> <div class="item-list"> <ul> <li class="views-row views-row-1 views-row-odd views-row-first"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/flashback-friday-104-sweet-ways-to-celebrate-valentines-day">Flashback Friday: 104 Sweet Ways to Celebrate Valentine&#039;s Day</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-2 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/10-things-you-can-totally-regift-and-7-things-you-shouldnt">10 Things You Can Totally Regift — And 7 Things You Shouldn&#039;t</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-3 views-row-odd"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/cheap-and-romantic-ideas-for-valentines-day-and-any-other-day-of-the-year">Cheap and Romantic Ideas for Valentine&#039;s Day (And Any Other Day of the Year)</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-4 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/flower-power-a-guide-to-frugal-valentines-flowers">Flower Power - A Guide to Frugal Valentine&#039;s Flowers</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-5 views-row-odd views-row-last"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/8-ways-valentines-day-picks-your-pocket">8 Ways Valentine&#039;s Day Picks Your Pocket</a></span> </div> </li> </ul> </div> </div> </div> </div><br/></br> Frugal Living gift giving Holidays love romantic Valentine's Day Wed, 10 Feb 2016 16:00:08 +0000 Kentin Waits 1650519 at http://www.wisebread.com 8 Relationship Mistakes Everyone Makes http://www.wisebread.com/8-relationship-mistakes-everyone-makes <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/8-relationship-mistakes-everyone-makes" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://wisebread.killeracesmedia.netdna-cdn.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/couple_relationship_trouble_000013834490.jpg" alt="Couple making relationship mistakes everyone makes" title="" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="250" height="140" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p>One of the biggest issues I've found with relationships &mdash; in practically all of them &mdash; is that there are cracks in every façade; we just don't like to talk about them.</p> <p>Even though it's not the easiest topic of conversation to engage in, I'm a staunch advocate for laying our problems out on the table with people we trust. Among close friends, we can talk about what's going on in our lives, receive feedback and advice, and most importantly, recognize that we're not alone in the problems we face with our significant others. After all, the truth will set you free, right?</p> <p>In lieu of such grand admissions, let's back it up and start smaller, by identifying the universal relationship issues we all face but rarely talk about.</p> <p>See also: <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/20-money-mistakes-everyone-makes-but-no-one-talks-about">20 Money Mistakes Everyone Makes But No One Talks About</a></p> <h2>1. You Do Things Just to Please Your Partner</h2> <p>There's nothing wrong with doing something nice for your partner, even going out of your way at times to make them happy &mdash; consider it a byproduct of being in love. But when you start doing things just to please your partner &ndash; and you're doing them excessively &ndash; you run the risk of being disappointed, even more so when your proactiveness isn't warranted or requested. Eventually, you'll start to notice an imbalance in your relationship &ndash; you're pleasing your partner in various ways and he or she isn't following suit. It may be a situation that you created though, so how can you really be mad at that?</p> <p>As a result, according to Michele Fabrega, love, intimacy, and sexuality coach for men, we can feel resentful when we start to expect our partner to make sacrifices for us.</p> <p>&quot;It can end up being a sort of ledger that we keep inside our heads, a competition of sorts,&quot; she says. &quot;Instead, I like to invite my clients to really ask themselves, before they say yes to their partner's request, 'Is this something I can feel good about?' And if not, I invite partners to collaborate, not compromise.&quot;</p> <h2>2. You Become Codependent on One Another</h2> <p>We've all seen it happen to our friends: They start dating and spending more time together until eventually they can't spend time apart. That's not healthy, and if you're in this type of relationship, it's time to reevaluate your priorities.</p> <p>&quot;Some people don't allow themselves to sail through the infatuation stage, and because of this, some couples tend to lose their own lives and become intertwined in each other's,&quot; explains dating and life coach <a href="http://annahrose.com/">Annah Rose</a>. &quot;Their lives then become solely about each other.&quot;</p> <p>Becoming codependent on one another is bad habit for any relationship, but especially one in the early stages. Even when you're trying to build the relationship in the beginning, each partner needs his or her space. Without breathing room, tensions eventually will mount, likely ending in a blow-up when someone feels smothered.</p> <h2>3. You Snoop on Each Other</h2> <p>&quot;Once someone snoops they are labeled as 'crazy,' but here's the thing &mdash; in this day and age of social media and smartphones, more people than not are snooping. This becomes one of the unhealthiest traits to bring into a relationship,&quot; says Rose.</p> <p>Let's dissect that. On one hand, most people in a relationship are guilty of snooping in some form of another; most likely as a result of something that raised their suspicion, but it's important to note here that it's not just women; men are doing it &mdash; in their own way, and whether they'd like to admit it or not. Secondly, snooping is never good for the relationship. People rarely get away with it, but it also signals a bigger problem &mdash; a complete lack of trust. Maybe that's justified, but I can tell you from firsthand experience that once this habit is established, it won't stop, and neither will the activity that facilitated it. In that case, you're both going to have a hard road trying to keep that relationship together&hellip; because it probably should've ended a long time ago.</p> <h2>4. You Blame Each Other When Things Go Wrong</h2> <p>Nobody likes to admit they're wrong or at fault for whatever goes awry in a relationship, and that's never clearer than when romantic partners are in an argument. Accusations fly and fingers are pointed in an attempt to absolve oneself from responsibility for whatever you're fighting about. As we all know, however, that gets us nowhere, and Fabrega offers an alternative solution.</p> <p>&quot;Relationships are complex and the way each of us responds or reacts to life situations are infinitely unique,&quot; she says. &quot;Rather than go into blame or criticism, I like to encourage people to bring compassionate curiosity to the situation. What am I feeling? What happened here? What led to this outcome? What can I learn from this situation? What do I wish I had done differently? If partners can come together and be on the same team to address a problem, they can be part of the solution. This is key relationship skill that partners can strengthen over time.&quot;</p> <h2>5. You Try to Change the Other Person</h2> <p>I think we've all watched enough <em>Oprah</em> and <em>Dr. Phil</em> to know that we can't change our partners, no matter how hard we try. It's a fool's errand that will end up in heartbreak, so it's best to accept your partner's flaws, or move on.</p> <p>You also should do some soul searching of your own. If you want your partner to change so badly, they're probably not right for you. Find someone else who more closely embodies what you want in a man or woman, if only so you're not making your partner feel like they're not good enough all the time. That's not fair to them, and you're doing what's best for you either.</p> <h2>6. You Aren't Empathetic Enough With One Another</h2> <p>When two people love each other, they want the best for each other. Which is why it's interesting and confusing and sad that when couples argue with one another, they can be downright evil. Passion has a way of taking over sometimes, but it's important to remember that there's no taking back what you say to one another.</p> <p>&quot;Humans are pretty self-centered and we rarely look at another person's circumstances,&quot; says couples' therapist and relationship podcaster Eboni Harris. &quot;If your partner says something hurtful, think about times that you have used the wrong words and it led to an argument. Wouldn't you want the chance to explain what you meant in a safe conversation before your partner jumped down your throat? If you know that your partner loves you and is not in the habit of purposefully hurting you, give them an opportunity to explain.&quot;</p> <h2>7. You Withhold &quot;Uncomfortable&quot; Information</h2> <p>Here's something to chew on: We communicate more than ever with text messages, social media, dating apps, etc., but we rarely <em>talk</em> about anything worthwhile anymore. That goes double for those touchy subjects that we've always had a hard time discussing, and not being forthcoming with our partners can create a wedge in the relationship that sometimes drive us apart.</p> <h2>8. You Create Impossible Expectations</h2> <p>We've all pretty much been brainwashed to believe that we deserve the perfect partner. You know the one: amazing credentials online, they live incredible lives according to their various profiles, have the best families, are well-traveled, neatly dressed, blah blah blah. And physically, they're the ideal specimens &mdash; fit, attractive, curves in all the right places, and so on. So, of course, good luck (and God help you) with that!</p> <p>But as Mitch Kahan, co-founder of the dating app<a href="http://www.inviteup.com/"> InviteUp</a>, warns, spending too much time cultivating relationships online instead of offline can set up you up for failure, over and over again.</p> <p>&quot;All the pre-date chatting builds up expectations, possibly to an unreachable level,&quot; he says. &quot;The same goes for spending too much time texting your significant other; most people can't compete in person with the version of them you create in your head. Spending weeks chatting online are better served spending time in person where you can get a real feel for your chemistry without the buffer of text communications.&quot;</p> <p><em>What other relationship mistakes are we making but not talking about? I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments below.</em></p> <br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">This article is from <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/mikey-rox">Mikey Rox</a> of <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/8-relationship-mistakes-everyone-makes">Wise Bread</a>, an award-winning personal finance and <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/credit-cards">credit card comparison</a> website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:</div><div class="view view-similarterms view-id-similarterms view-display-id-block_2 view-dom-id-1"> <div class="view-content"> <div class="item-list"> <ul> <li class="views-row views-row-1 views-row-odd views-row-first"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/make-these-6-relationship-moves-now-or-youll-regret-it-in-20-years">Make These 6 Relationship Moves Now or You&#039;ll Regret It in 20 Years</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-2 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/spice-up-the-conversation-by-skipping-what-do-you-do">Spice Up the Conversation by Skipping &quot;What Do You Do?&quot;</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-3 views-row-odd"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/how-to-be-happy-and-married-24-tips-from-a-24-year-old-marriage">How to Be Happy and Married: 24 Tips from a 24-Year-Old Marriage</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-4 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/how-much-should-you-actually-be-spending-on-a-date">How Much Should You Actually Be Spending on a Date?</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-5 views-row-odd views-row-last"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/8-things-i-learned-about-money-after-getting-married">8 Things I Learned About Money After Getting Married</a></span> </div> </li> </ul> </div> </div> </div> </div><br/></br> Lifestyle breakups dating mistakes dating tips love relationships romance Mon, 21 Dec 2015 12:00:03 +0000 Mikey Rox 1621620 at http://www.wisebread.com Make These 6 Relationship Moves Now or You'll Regret It in 20 Years http://www.wisebread.com/make-these-6-relationship-moves-now-or-youll-regret-it-in-20-years <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/make-these-6-relationship-moves-now-or-youll-regret-it-in-20-years" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://wisebread.killeracesmedia.netdna-cdn.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/happy_couple_000032796334.jpg" alt="Couple making relationship moves now before they regret it " title="" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="250" height="140" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p>There's no science to relationships. That said, communication is key to keeping you and your significant other together and happy in the face of everyday setbacks. If the goal is to grow old together in matching rocking chairs, then make these six relationship moves or you'll regret it in 20 years. (See also: <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/avoid-these-5-pitfalls-when-moving-in-together?ref=seealso">Avoid These 5 Pitfalls When Moving in Together</a>)</p> <h2>1. Speak Up and Say No</h2> <p>Being assertive with your wants and needs is just as important as being compassionate and considerate of your partner's needs. This goes for both big and small topics: You don't like carnations, but you keep getting them on your birthday. You grin and bear it through <em>The Big Bang Theory, </em>because it's their favorite show. Your partner wants kids and you don't. Your partner wants a house in their home state someday and you don't want to move. This is also true with intimacy preferences. If you've tried something in bed enough times to know you don't like it, speak up &mdash; sexual incompatibility is a chief cause for many breakups and divorces. It's better to address it now.</p> <p><strong>What this prevents</strong>: A sense of obligation to do something you don't like. If it goes long enough, resentment and hostility will bubble up to the surface. Your partner will also be upset, because you didn't articulate your wants and needs in the first place.</p> <h2>2. Delete Your Dating Apps</h2> <p>We all know someone in a relationship who still flips through OKCupid and Match, or swipes through Tinder or Grindr after a beer or two. Why are you still there? If you don't think the relationship is working out, then it might be time to end it. Most people in a committed relationship would expect their partners to at least ignore those websites and unsubscribe to their emails. At the end of the day, you put yourself in a position that calls your trustworthiness into question.</p> <p><strong>What this prevents</strong>: Possibly unwarranted accusations of cheating. If you're not in an open or poly relationship, you could lose your partner's trust.</p> <h2>3. Schedule Date Nights</h2> <p>Ugh, date nights, right? They sound as if they would suck the romance out of your currently stable and happy relationship. However, after a few years, there's always a slump. Every couple faces it and wonders, <em>are we still in love</em>? You get so comfortable that you forget to celebrate each other and the love that you share. Ideally, couples would automatically set aside one night per week (or at least per month) as a special date night. It could be any date ritual that is important to you. It's fun to dress up a little and go somewhere to show each other off.</p> <p><strong>What this prevents</strong>: Boredom, loneliness, and the dreaded &quot;We never go anywhere!&quot; fights.</p> <h2>4. Sort Out Your Finances Together</h2> <p>No one likes doing this. Instead, we make assumptions and hope for the best until a surprise comes our way. This is a recipe for disaster if you're planning to be in a relationship for the long haul with someone. Even if you aren't married, you should be upfront about debt, savings goals, budgets, and spending habits. Be willing to share and take advice from each other. If anyone has a decent chance at helping you improve your finances, it's a loving partner who shares your goals.</p> <p><strong>What this prevents</strong>: The unwelcome surprise that your partner has $100,000 in student loan debt, which will exacerbate the already stressful fights over spending, bills, and savings down the road.</p> <h2>5. Share a Hobby</h2> <p>It's always a good idea to share activities that remind you why you liked each other in the first place. Do you both collect art? Do you both enjoy hunting? Do you both want to learn a skill? Find an affordable and fun thing that you can enjoy together on a basic level, as <em>friends.</em> Because friendship is the solid base of any romantic relationship. Share opinions and help each other grow at your chosen skill. This might sound like a recreational &quot;elective,&quot; but consider how much closer sharing a passion or collaborating toward a goal could bring you together.</p> <p><strong>What this prevents</strong>: Lack of shared purpose beyond the household, which can lead to resentment and estrangement. Or, having fights about one partner being &quot;too into&quot; a hobby that excludes the other.</p> <h2>6. Know When It's Over</h2> <p>There are a myriad of reasons why you could want to end a relationship. Perhaps your life goals don't mesh, or one of you won't go to couple's therapy, or you're no longer having sex. If something is a dealbreaker for you, you have to declare it as such. If you've already talked through your needs in an open and compassionate way many times before, with no results, you need the courage to end the relationship, because it's what's best for both of you. Don't hang on waiting for a force majeure to occur. That's how people remain in relationships with abusive or emotionally absent partners. No one deserves that.</p> <p><strong>What this prevents</strong>: Feeling trapped in a stagnant, unloving, or toxic relationship for years.</p> <p><em>What are you doing to keep your relationship fresh and strong for the long haul?</em></p> <br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">This article is from <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/amanda-meadows">Amanda Meadows</a> of <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/make-these-6-relationship-moves-now-or-youll-regret-it-in-20-years">Wise Bread</a>, an award-winning personal finance and <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/credit-cards">credit card comparison</a> website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:</div><div class="view view-similarterms view-id-similarterms view-display-id-block_2 view-dom-id-9"> <div class="view-content"> <div class="item-list"> <ul> <li class="views-row views-row-1 views-row-odd views-row-first"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/10-relationship-rules-you-should-be-breaking">10 Relationship Rules You Should Be Breaking</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-2 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/happily-ever-after-how-to-stay-married-for-29-years-and-counting">Happily Ever After: How to Stay Married for 29 Years (and Counting)</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-3 views-row-odd"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/avoid-these-5-pitfalls-when-moving-in-together">Avoid These 5 Pitfalls When Moving in Together</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-4 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/6-ways-regular-budget-meetings-might-save-your-marriage">6 Ways Regular Budget Meetings Might Save Your Marriage</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-5 views-row-odd views-row-last"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/how-to-be-happy-and-married-24-tips-from-a-24-year-old-marriage">How to Be Happy and Married: 24 Tips from a 24-Year-Old Marriage</a></span> </div> </li> </ul> </div> </div> </div> </div><br/></br> Personal Development advice Dating love relationships tips Wed, 28 Oct 2015 15:15:19 +0000 Amanda Meadows 1601081 at http://www.wisebread.com 5 Easy Things Science Says You Should Do for Your Family http://www.wisebread.com/5-easy-things-science-says-you-should-do-for-your-family <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/5-easy-things-science-says-you-should-do-for-your-family" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://wisebread.killeracesmedia.netdna-cdn.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/family_dinner_000037058432.jpg" alt="Mother doing what science says she should do for her family" title="" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="250" height="140" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p>We'd all like to create healthier, stronger families and deeper, more meaningful relationships. Fortunately, science provides some simple things to strengthen your family bonds. (See also: <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/5-easy-things-science-says-you-should-do-for-your-body-every-day?ref=seealso">5 Easy Things Science Says You Should Do for Your Body Every Day</a>)</p> <h2>1. Learn to Communicate With Each Other</h2> <p>Most parents want to speak with their children more and know more about their lives (particularly in the teen years), but when your child decides to speak with you, are you ready to listen? Simplifying their experiences and emotions, or comparing their experiences with your own, may just push your child away further. Instead, let them know that you are always there to listen and help when needed. Listening attentively and uncritically is the best thing you can do for your child or teen when they want to confide in you. Once they are done talking, calmly repeat what you heard them say to show them that you are listening and understand their feelings and actions. If they want your advice or input, they will ask for it.</p> <p>Don't hold a grudge when dealing with loved ones. According to the Mayo Clinic, <a href="http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/forgiveness/art-20047692">holding onto a grudge</a> won't leave much room for happiness. Whether you've been holding onto negative feelings for the short or long-term, it only wastes time and increases stress for everyone involved. Holding onto resentment and negative feelings can even take a toll on your physical health, heart health, and sanity. Instead, talk things out and forgive, even if it's only for your own benefit. It may have all been a misunderstanding in the first place.</p> <h2>2. Spend Time Together</h2> <p>Simply spending more time together will help your family members feel closer and more connected to one another. In fact, family experts recommend <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201509/the-simplest-way-couple-boost-intimacy">sharing meals together</a> as often as possible to benefit your kids' mental health (and your own in the process). Spending as little as five minutes together over food and good conversation can help improve your overall relationship and lighten up everyone's spirits.</p> <h2>3. Get Outdoors</h2> <p>Spending time together is the first step in bonding and creating a closer relationship. Studies have shown that spending time outdoors when the weather is nice can also have a <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/01/14/climate-health_n_4568505.html">direct effect on your happiness</a>. Find activities you can do together, particularly outdoor activities, such as hiking, biking, walking, star gazing, and visiting the beach. Not only will you benefit from being outdoors, but you will also get some exercise together. Exercising has a direct effect on your health, fitness, and happiness. And getting a sweat in with family members can also keep you all motivated and on track together.</p> <h2>4. Gift More</h2> <p>You know the old saying that it's better to give than to receive? Well, it's true. A 2008 study showed that when 46 participants were given money to spend, those who spent the money on other people showed a <a href="http://www.sciencemag.org/content/319/5870/1687">higher level of happiness</a>, compared to those who spent the money on themselves. And at the end of the day, who doesn't like getting a gift from someone they love?</p> <p>Gifts don't always have to cost money. Telling someone how much you love them can brighten their day and their outlook on life. Along with giving more to others, it's important to also show your gratitude for things and people you feel thankful for. This will make your family members feel more loved and appreciated, and you can also benefit from associated <a href="http://psycnet.apa.org/?&amp;fa=main.doiLanding&amp;doi=10.1037/0022-3514.84.2.377">emotional and interpersonal benefits</a> in the process.</p> <h2>5. Smile More</h2> <p>Creating a household of positivity is key in encouraging your children. By simply smiling more and thinking positively, you can <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/pride-and-joy/201212/positiveness-part-i-strengthening-family-relationships">encourage positive emotions</a>, which have been shown to broaden thinking, improve attention spans, increase productivity, and improve family relationships. Smiling <a href="http://www.forbes.com/sites/ericsavitz/2011/03/22/the-untapped-power-of-smiling/">stimulates the brain's reward mechanisms</a> even more than receiving money, chocolate, and other similar rewards. It has even been shown to alleviate physical and emotional pain, so practice genuinely smiling more everyday.</p> <p>Everyone deals with stress, but your family should see the positive, supportive side of you. Positive psychology says that having and displaying positive emotions can have a significant impact on our physical and emotional well-being. Most importantly, smiling just shows your loved ones you care and encourages a household of positivity.</p> <p><em>What are your favorite things to do to strengthen your family relationships? Please share your thoughts in the comments! </em></p> <br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">This article is from <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/andrea-cannon">Andrea Cannon</a> of <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/5-easy-things-science-says-you-should-do-for-your-family">Wise Bread</a>, an award-winning personal finance and <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/credit-cards">credit card comparison</a> website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:</div><div class="view view-similarterms view-id-similarterms view-display-id-block_2 view-dom-id-2"> <div class="view-content"> <div class="item-list"> <ul> <li class="views-row views-row-1 views-row-odd views-row-first"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/best-kids-eat-free-restaurants">Best Kids Eat Free Restaurants</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-2 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/4-bad-money-habits-youre-teaching-your-kids">4 Bad Money Habits You&#039;re Teaching Your Kids</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-3 views-row-odd"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/6-fun-games-that-teach-your-kids-about-money">6 Fun Games That Teach Your Kids About Money</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-4 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/10-time-management-skills-that-will-help-your-kid-win-at-school">10 Time-Management Skills That Will Help Your Kid Win at School</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-5 views-row-odd views-row-last"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/4-tax-mistakes-new-parents-make">4 Tax Mistakes New Parents Make</a></span> </div> </li> </ul> </div> </div> </div> </div><br/></br> Family bonding children kids love spending time together strengthening relationships Thu, 01 Oct 2015 17:00:37 +0000 Andrea Cannon 1571272 at http://www.wisebread.com 10 Relationship Rules You Should Be Breaking http://www.wisebread.com/10-relationship-rules-you-should-be-breaking <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/10-relationship-rules-you-should-be-breaking" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://wisebread.killeracesmedia.netdna-cdn.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/happy_couple_heart_000043736474.jpg" alt="Happy couple breaking common love and relationship rules" title="" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="250" height="140" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p>I don't know what it was like to be in a serious relationship back in the day &mdash; pre-social media, I mean &mdash; but I can imagine that it was much easier than it is in 2015. So much has changed over the past 20 &mdash; heck, even 10 &mdash; years that some of the most trusted and seemingly infallible relationship rules are now all but obsolete. The new school of thought on the issue? Adapt your relationship to today, or face certain doom.</p> <p>To catch you up to speed, here's a look at some of the most prominent relationship rules of yore that you should start kickin' to the curb.</p> <h2>1. Not Going to Bed Angry</h2> <p>My parents still adhere to this rule &mdash; or at least this is a piece of advice that my mother gives me when my marriage hits a rough patch &mdash; but I don't buy it. When we first started out, we tried to resolve the issue at hand before bed, but it rarely resulted in a truce, and the more time wore on, we were just like, screw it, I'm tired, let's resume our battle stations in the morning.</p> <p>I know we're not alone.</p> <p>&quot;If you follow this rule, it could mean a lot of late nights, and nothing escalates an argument more than sleep deprivation and mental exhaustion,&quot; says Dr. Jared DeFife, a clinical psychologist and relationship coach. &quot;I see couples in my practice who feel like they have to adhere to this rule or resolve an argument right away, leading them to drawn-out disputes where nothing gets accomplished and everyone's nerves are fried. When it comes to arguments, it's ok to take a break; in fact, it might even be necessary. You can use that time to calm down, understand your emotions, and return with a level head and a more nuanced perspective.&quot;</p> <p>And hey, there's always the possibility of make-up sex in the morning!</p> <h2>2. Thinking That Love Means Never Having to Say You're Sorry</h2> <p>Excuse while I LOL at this one. Whatever narcissistic dude came up with this (and I'm 100% certain it was a dude) was smokin' the good stuff &mdash; and I want some. Because the truth is, sometimes we're real capital Bs to our partners, and apologies are absolutely necessary.</p> <p>&quot;Nobody's perfect,&quot; Dr. DeFife reminds us. &quot;Sometimes we're grumpy or short-tempered or do the wrong thing. The mark of a good partnership is not in never screwing up or having conflicts, but in being able to recognize those concerns and to effectively make repairs when things go awry. A well-thought through and meaningful apology can actually strengthen a relationship in areas of discontent or disconnection.&quot;</p> <p>I think I'll have that quote printed on a stack of Post-it Notes and hide them in my husband's desk.</p> <h2>3. Playing Hard to Get</h2> <p>Playing hard to get can be fun. But giving the guy or girl the runaround for an extended period of time so you can feed your own ego as they try harder and harder to get your attention also can be dangerous.</p> <p>&quot;This includes waiting an X amount of days or minutes before calling or texting, dumping men who do not initiate contact, and only scheduling activities on certain days or times of the day,&quot; explains Dr. Carolyn C. Ferreira, a licensed clinical psychologist. &quot;Playing hard to get is unattractive to both sexes, and it also prohibits people from being their real selves and expressing their true feelings, which is an overall bad way to begin a relationship.&quot;</p> <h2>4. Waiting a Set Amount of Time After a Breakup</h2> <p>Breaking up or getting a divorce can sometimes feel like somebody died. You've spent most of your time with your partner for however many months or years you were together, then all of a sudden, they're gone. If this was a serious relationship, grieving this loss is a normal emotional reaction, but you shouldn't let other people dictate how long you take to heal. Whenever you feel like you're ready to get back out there and find your next future ex, put on your going-out pants and get back in the game.</p> <p>&quot;People grieve loss at their own pace; someone may be over a divorce in a month, whereas it might take someone else six months,&quot; Dr. Ferreira says.</p> <h2>5. Perpetuating Gender Stereotypes at Home</h2> <p>My husband and I have battled with this since the day we moved in together &mdash; and we're two dudes. Speaking as a man then, it's kind of insulting when someone expects that you'll do the cooking and cleaning because that's traditionally what the female in the relationship does. Not that I mind doing it &mdash; for the most part &mdash; but I don't want it to be an expectation because I'm the smaller, more creative partner in the relationship. I still have dude parts, dude. This type of thinking applies to any scenario, and as far as I'm concerned you can take that &quot;Honeymooners&quot;<em> </em>BS and shove it.</p> <p>&quot;Adhering to household tasks based on gender roles and stereotypes should also be reconsidered by couples,&quot; adds Dr. Ferreira. &quot;Instead of completing tasks because you're the man or woman, couples should look at their strengths and weaknesses as a couple in order to decide who does what. For example, it does not make sense for the man to take care of the finances if he does not know what an Excel spreadsheet is, but his wife does because she's a business owner.&quot;</p> <p>Might be time to start shakin' things up on the homefront, eh?</p> <h2>6. Believing That Fighting Is Healthy</h2> <p>Having lovers' quarrels every now and then is okay; it's good to get issues off your chest. Screaming in each other's face on a regular basis isn't. It's wise to note too that the term &quot;fighting&quot; is relative, and it behooves you to keep your definition of it in check to avoid a dangerous downward spiral.</p> <p>&quot;There are many myths and expectations about fighting in marriage,&quot; says Dr. Tina B. Tessina, psychotherapist and author of &quot;<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1598693255/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=390957&amp;creativeASIN=1598693255&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;tag=wisbre03-20&amp;linkId=UA6JX7TPBBEN43YK">Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting About the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage</a>.&quot; &quot;Couples come into my office frequently believing that fighting is a necessary part of being a couple, that all married couples fight, and it's a normal part of marriage. But the fact is that fighting accomplishes nothing, and it isn't necessary for couples to argue, to yell, or to have heated discussions to get problems solved. Hanging on to these ideas makes it difficult to let go of fighting.&quot;</p> <p>P.S. Don't ever let anybody hit you. Ever. It's not your fault, and you don't deserve it.</p> <h2>7. Searching for Your Soulmate (When You May Not Have One)</h2> <p>What if your soulmate died before you had a chance to meet? Too depressing? I'll let Patricia Johnson and Mark Michaels, relationship experts and co-authors of &quot;<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1627780289/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=390957&amp;creativeASIN=1627780289&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;tag=wisbre03-20&amp;linkId=WLVCALKVABMAJAMI">Partners in Passion</a>,&quot;&nbsp;explain why you may not have a soulmate in a more palatable way.</p> <p>&quot;In contemporary society, there is a very common superstition that finding one's soulmate &mdash; sometimes called a 'twin flame' &mdash; is the key to having a true pair-bond, and that in the absence of this 'other half,' no intimate relationship will be fully satisfying,&quot; Johnson and Michaels say. &quot;Two very damaging concepts are implicit in this belief: first, that there is a single, ideal partner out there in the world for every individual, and second, that people are incomplete until they find their 'other half.'&quot;</p> <p>In other words, stop holding out and start living more. You never know who you'll encounter along the way.</p> <h2>8. Accepting That Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus</h2> <p>Society &mdash; especially American culture &mdash; wants us to believe that men and women are so different that it's like we're each from separate planets. Yes, we have differences, but we also have many similarities that nobody ever seems to want to talk about because it's not interesting enough to sell 50 million books worldwide.</p> <p>&quot;We're not the first to observe that people of all genders are from Earth,&quot; Johnson and Michaels explain. &quot;Beyond that, men and women have more in common with each other than with any other creature on the planet. To make blanket generalizations is not helpful except on the most superficial level. This model builds on older myths &mdash; the concepts of 'opposite sexes' and 'the battle of the sexes' &mdash; and reconfigures them in therapeutic terms. Despite this reframing, the model is still an adversarial one, and adversarial models are not optimal for nurturing harmonious relationships or fueling sexual passion, except in very small doses. Having the sense that you're on opposing teams will only foster conflict.&quot;</p> <h2>9. Assuming That Monogamy Is Natural and Optimal</h2> <p>So I don't get in trouble down the road for providing my personal opinion on long-term relationships and monogamy, I'll let Johnson and Michaels give you theirs.</p> <p>&quot;If human biology inspires us both to form intimate pair bonds and to seek contacts outside of those bonds, then what makes for a healthy relationship is considerably more complex than dogmatic advocates of monogamy (or non monogamy for that matter) would have us believe,&quot; say the pair. &quot;At the same time, the impulse to bond deeply with another is not something that should be dismissed lightly. Our species varies a great deal, and it's a mistake to think about absolutes when it comes to monogamy and non-monogamy.&quot;</p> <h2>10. Dating Within Your Type</h2> <p>Just like I don't want all skinny, redheaded, melanin-free friends, I don't think it's very interesting to pursue a certain &quot;type&quot; of person in a romantic capacity. I've dated all types of guys &mdash; white, black, Asian, Indian, Middle Eastern, and Latino &mdash; and it has only served to broaden my horizons. Still, I have plenty of friends &mdash; especially the religious ones &mdash; who refuse to date outside their race or faith. To each their own of course, but I totally think they're missing out.</p> <p>Relationship expert April Masini agrees.</p> <p>&quot;One of the best ways to get out of a dating rut is to date a Republican if you're a Democrat, or someone rich if you're poor, or a creative type if you're by the book,&quot; she says. &quot;Date out of your religious or racial group. Date someone your mother wouldn't fix you up with &mdash; were you to let her. It'll shake up any rigidity you've succumbed to, and it's a great way to find love. It also expands your resources and gives you a bigger dating pool.&quot;</p> <p><em>What are some of the relationship rules that you think we should be breaking? Let me know in the comments below.</em></p> <br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">This article is from <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/mikey-rox">Mikey Rox</a> of <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/10-relationship-rules-you-should-be-breaking">Wise Bread</a>, an award-winning personal finance and <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/credit-cards">credit card comparison</a> website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:</div><div class="view view-similarterms view-id-similarterms view-display-id-block_2 view-dom-id-3"> <div class="view-content"> <div class="item-list"> <ul> <li class="views-row views-row-1 views-row-odd views-row-first"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/make-these-6-relationship-moves-now-or-youll-regret-it-in-20-years">Make These 6 Relationship Moves Now or You&#039;ll Regret It in 20 Years</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-2 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/6-ways-regular-budget-meetings-might-save-your-marriage">6 Ways Regular Budget Meetings Might Save Your Marriage</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-3 views-row-odd"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/how-to-be-happy-and-married-24-tips-from-a-24-year-old-marriage">How to Be Happy and Married: 24 Tips from a 24-Year-Old Marriage</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-4 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/avoid-these-5-pitfalls-when-moving-in-together">Avoid These 5 Pitfalls When Moving in Together</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-5 views-row-odd views-row-last"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/5-questions-couples-should-ask-in-the-money-talk">5 Questions Couples Should Ask in the Money Talk</a></span> </div> </li> </ul> </div> </div> </div> </div><br/></br> Personal Development couples Dating love marriage partnership relationships rules Wed, 15 Apr 2015 13:00:09 +0000 Mikey Rox 1382352 at http://www.wisebread.com Happily Ever After: How to Stay Married for 29 Years (and Counting) http://www.wisebread.com/happily-ever-after-how-to-stay-married-for-29-years-and-counting <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/happily-ever-after-how-to-stay-married-for-29-years-and-counting" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://wisebread.killeracesmedia.netdna-cdn.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/couple-2812319-small.jpg" alt="couple" title="couple" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="250" height="133" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p>At the end of this month, my husband and I will celebrate our 29th wedding anniversary. Yes, 29 years. Holy bananas! How time flies!</p> <p>Now, given the current divorce rate, 29 years is a pretty impressive milestone, but what makes it even more noteworthy is that we're not the perfect couple &mdash; not by a long shot. (See also: <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/how-to-be-happy-and-married-24-tips-from-a-24-year-old-marriage">How to Be Happy and Married: 24 Tips from a 24-Year-Old Marriage</a>)</p> <p>Truth be told, he drives me crazy on most days, and judging from the pulsing vein in his forehead and his standing prescription to Xanax, I'd say he feels much the same way about me. And yet, here we are, totally content (for the most part) and excited about what the next 29 years will bring.</p> <p>So, how did we do it?</p> <h2>Walk Your Own Path</h2> <p>My man is a big guy with a dominating personality. It's one of the things I love about him, but it's also a stark contrast to my more &quot;accommodating&quot; nature.</p> <p>Consequently, I spent the first year of our marriage doing my best to keep him happy and avoid any arguments because, well, that's just what I do.</p> <p>Until that is, my mother told me it was &quot;okay&quot; to disagree. &quot;You're married now,&quot; she said, &quot;but that doesn't mean you disappear. It doesn't mean you stop being you.&quot;</p> <p>Of all the advice my mother has ever given me, that is by far the best.</p> <p>All too often, we look to someone else to make us happy, believing that we have to trade our own sense of fulfillment for being in a relationship. We put our dreams on hold and take a big detour off our chosen path, expecting the relationship itself to be enough to sustain us.</p> <p>And then, we're disappointed when it isn't.</p> <p>The thing is, your partner never actually agreed to take responsibility for your happiness, or the lack thereof. They're not supposed to take charge of your journey &mdash; they're just supposed to be there to share it with you.</p> <p>Fortunately, the fix is simple &mdash; don't disappear.</p> <p>Both of you have to be your <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/you-can-be-as-happy-as-a-dane">totally authentic and amazing selves</a>.</p> <h2>Love the One You're With</h2> <p>While we're on the subject of authenticity, let's also talk about the importance of acceptance.</p> <p>Many a relationship has ended due to &quot;irreconcilable differences,&quot; and yet many of those differences are often some of the same traits and tendencies we possessed from day one. Granted, we do a decent job of hiding at least some of these traits at the beginning because we're on our best behavior and looking to impress.</p> <p>It's only after we've got a commitment that we begin to let our guard down, and that's when the disillusionment typically begins.</p> <p>Our entertainment adds to that illusion by showing us relationships that are steeped in an unrealistic amount of drama and excitement. We've been bombarded by worlds where true love is akin to magic, where the passion is overwhelming, where the participants always look beautiful, and where the lovers must overcome tremendous odds to win the freedom to finally be together. They'll succeed of course, because True Love always wins out.</p> <p>Even though we know those worlds are fictional, we can't help but be moved by their passion and desire; we want that. And it influences our perception of what a relationship should be.</p> <p>So, it's no wonder that we <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/endurance-frugality-staying-the-course-and-being-a-winner">become disenchanted by the day-to-day grind</a> of a real relationship. There are bills to pay, dishes to wash, carpets to vacuum, and toilets to scrub.</p> <p>Your partner is consistently showing you who they really are (and vice versa), so stop being so surprised when those traits and tendencies continue into the relationship.</p> <p>We have a bad habit of seeing people the way we want to see them rather than as what they're showing us. We see the diamond in the rough, full of promise and potential. They just need a good dose of our own special love and guidance to bring it all out.</p> <p>And then we feel betrayed when they don't live up to our expectations.</p> <p>You don't have to love everything about your partner, but you do have to love them for who they are right now &mdash; quirks, eccentricities, and all. If you can do that, you're already on the road to a long and happy relationship.</p> <h2>Learn What Matters and What Doesn't</h2> <p>If my husband and I were to take a compatibility quiz, I can almost guarantee that we'd fail.</p> <p>I love books; he prefers to wait for the movie. He sees life from a very organized, black and white perspective; while I'm a more creative, many shades of gray type of girl.</p> <p>He's atheist; I'm pagan. He likes meat; I like tofu and sprouts. I wanted five kids when we got married; he was &quot;iffy&quot; about maybe having one. And the list goes on and on.</p> <p>We are, for all intents and purposes, opposites of one another. We've obviously had to make some concessions and compromises along the way.</p> <p>But what we realized is that very few issues required an all or nothing approach. We come together on the things that matter: we love our kids, we love each other, and we both believe that there's always room to grow and change.</p> <p>And that's been enough of a foundation to make these last 29 years work. Yes, it's been quite a roller-coaster ride, but then who doesn't love the roller coaster?</p> <p>Maybe that's a tip worth noting as well.</p> <h2>Learn to Roll With It</h2> <p>I have friends who, as soon as a new relationship looks like it might become serious, insist on having lengthy conversations about everything from the number of children they'll have to the amount of money they'll make, and they're willing to call it quits if the answers they get don't match up with their own.</p> <p>But having such a rigid blueprint for the future leaves nothing to chance, and if there's one constant in this universe, it's that anything and everything could change from one minute to the next.</p> <p>Our different personalities and perspectives might mean we have to work a little harder to find common ground, but it also makes that common ground much more exciting and enjoyable. It also almost guarantees that we'll never have to worry about getting stuck in a rut or becoming bored, two things that almost always lead to those irreconcilable differences.</p> <h2>Fight Right</h2> <p>During my stint in the corporate world, I noticed that the guys in the office were able to battle it out in a meeting and then go to lunch as if the altercation had never even happened. That's not to say that all men are masters of this skill or that they aren't capable of being mean and petty and vengeful when they want to be &mdash; they definitely are. But I saw this &quot;fight-and-forget-it&quot; mentality happen with enough consistency, that it prompted me to think about how I approached conflict in my own relationships.</p> <p>Here's what I've learned.</p> <p>First and foremost, it's okay to fight. In fact, it's absolutely expected if you want the relationship to last and the closer you are to someone, the more likely you are to disagree along the way.</p> <p>You and your beloved are two unique individuals, sharing space, and <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/why-couples-fight-over-money-and-what-to-do-about-it">making joint decisions that will have a lasting impact</a> on both of your lives. Of course you're going to disagree, and sometimes, that disagreement will become heated. But with a few ground rules, your relationship can survive and even grow from the experience.</p> <p><strong>Ground Rule #1: Don't Take It Personally</strong></p> <p>Many disagreements are just that &mdash; a disagreement, as in &quot;I think this while you think that.&quot; It doesn't mean your perspective isn't equally as valid &mdash; just that your partner doesn't share it. And sometimes that one little insight is the difference between a &quot;discussion&quot; and a knock-down, drag-out, you're-sleeping-on-the-couch fight.</p> <p><strong>Ground Rule #2: Stay on Point and Be Very Clear on What You're Fighting About</strong></p> <p>It's easy to bring up past infractions when it supports your position, but then don't be surprised when your partner becomes defensive. Ditto if you use the words &quot;always&quot; or &quot;never&quot; in your argument. Because now it's not just one issue you don't agree on &mdash; it's his or her character that's in question. And when one of you is defensive, you're no longer having a productive argument.</p> <p><strong>Ground Rule #3: Learn How to Walk Away</strong></p> <p>Fights are supposed to help you get things out in the open and (hopefully) shed some light on how to move forward. When things get too heated, our emotions kick in and we have a tendency to resort to some pretty nasty tactics. That's when you both should walk away. Go cool off, and come back when you're able to be more rational and reasonable. Your fights will be much more constructive.</p> <h2>Learn How to Forgive</h2> <p>You've probably heard the old adage &quot;don't go to bed angry,&quot; and to that, I say &quot;get real.&quot; If we fight in the morning and have all day to cool off, then we might be fine by the time we head off to bed.</p> <p>But if the fight takes place in the evening or if he just really pushes my buttons, then I won't pretend I'm not mad just because we're going to bed, and neither does he. But what we will do is set aside our anger and let the other know we love them, even if we don't like them very much at the moment.</p> <p>Which is enough to allow both of us to end the day. Sometimes, we're fine by the next morning, sometimes we're not, but we both know we'll eventually get back to where we need to be.</p> <p>That's how we're able to say what we need to say when we're having a fight&nbsp;&mdash; we know we're going to make up. No grudges, no paybacks, no penalties of any kind. It makes it easier to fight and it makes it a lot easier to make up.</p> <p>So that's what's helped make the first 29 years of my marriage a pretty solid success. I hope it brings you the peace and happiness that it's brought me.</p> <p><em>How long have you been with the one you're with? What makes it work?</em></p> <br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">This article is from <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/kate-luther">Kate Luther</a> of <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/happily-ever-after-how-to-stay-married-for-29-years-and-counting">Wise Bread</a>, an award-winning personal finance and <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/credit-cards">credit card comparison</a> website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:</div><div class="view view-similarterms view-id-similarterms view-display-id-block_2 view-dom-id-4"> <div class="view-content"> <div class="item-list"> <ul> <li class="views-row views-row-1 views-row-odd views-row-first"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/make-these-6-relationship-moves-now-or-youll-regret-it-in-20-years">Make These 6 Relationship Moves Now or You&#039;ll Regret It in 20 Years</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-2 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/10-relationship-rules-you-should-be-breaking">10 Relationship Rules You Should Be Breaking</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-3 views-row-odd"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/how-to-preserve-your-relationships-when-circumstances-change">How to Preserve Your Relationships When Circumstances Change</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-4 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/12-things-you-need-to-stop-doing-today-to-be-a-better-friend">12 Things You Need to Stop Doing Today to Be a Better Friend</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-5 views-row-odd views-row-last"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/8-dumb-little-things-holding-you-back-from-a-healthy-relationship">8 Dumb Little Things Holding You Back From a Healthy Relationship</a></span> </div> </li> </ul> </div> </div> </div> </div><br/></br> Family Personal Development communication love marriages relationships Thu, 25 Jul 2013 09:48:31 +0000 Kate Luther 980804 at http://www.wisebread.com Why I Love Lists http://www.wisebread.com/why-i-love-lists <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/why-i-love-lists" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://wisebread.killeracesmedia.netdna-cdn.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/notebook-5002427-small.jpg" alt="notebook" title="notebook" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="250" height="167" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p>I love making lists. In fact, lists of all sorts organize and drive big parts of my life. I scrawl <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/7-tips-for-streamlining-your-shopping-list" target="_blank">grocery lists</a>, make quick lists of what I need to accomplish each day, make detailed lists of my tasks at work, keep lists of books I want to read, make lists of financial goals I want to achieve each year and &mdash; this one&rsquo;s weird &mdash; I even make a list of every single article of clothing I&rsquo;ll need to pack before I leave on a business trip or vacation. Call me anal, call me obsessive, call me a Type A personality &mdash; just give me a pen a piece of paper so I can keep track. (See also: <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/5-hi-tech-to-do-lists-get-it-done" target="_blank">5 Hi-Tech To-Do Lists: Get It Done!</a>)</p> <h2>A List Is an Idol</h2> <p>For me, and I suspect for many others, list-making is an exercise in meditation. It&rsquo;s a clearing of the mind long enough to understand what needs to be done, what gets priority, and how many of our to-dos are interrelated and mutually dependent. Lists become a way to not only keep several balls in the air (a juggling trick many readers have practiced to perfection), but also a way to structure our days, or weeks, or months so that all of these little lists add up to some serious accomplishments.</p> <h2>A List Is a Promise</h2> <p>There&rsquo;s something about making lists that&rsquo;s supremely active. After all, isn&rsquo;t making a list the very first step in achieving everything on it? Isn&rsquo;t writing down what needs to be done a sort of declaration that you intend to do it? I think so. An honest and well-intentioned list is a promise to your future self, even if that future is just eight hours or a week away. Together, the humble list and the reflective list-maker plot to get things done &mdash; and it&rsquo;s all documented on sticky-notes, <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/a-comprehensive-guide-to-the-envelope-system" target="_blank">on the backs of receipts</a>, in daily planners, on our laptops and smart phones, on blackboards and whiteboards &mdash; even in the dust on the dashboards of our cars.</p> <h2>Making and Managing a List, Step-by-Step</h2> <p>My personal list-making process has been refined by years of trial and error. It goes something like this.</p> <ul> <li>I make each day&rsquo;s list the night before in my daily planner (a cheap little thing that I buy for $2.29 at my local dollar store quite ceremoniously every January).<br /> &nbsp;</li> <li>As I complete each task, I check it off my list &mdash; an act that&rsquo;s so sweetly satisfying that I blush to write about it here (die-hard list-makers, you know what I mean). The goal is to have nothing but a series of checkmarks by day&rsquo;s end (and that&rsquo;s a good day indeed, a red-wine-before-bed kind of day).<br /> &nbsp;</li> <li>Whatever I didn&rsquo;t accomplish from the previous day gets carried over to the next.<br /> &nbsp;</li> <li>I review my lists briefly at the end of each day, considering what I accomplished or didn&rsquo;t accomplish as I craft a more realistic and strategic list for the next day. Now, I&rsquo;ll be the first to admit that I have some serious nerd tendencies (a moniker I wear with pride), but I truly enjoy these end-of-day list reviews. It&rsquo;s as if in these moments I&rsquo;m able to tell myself, &ldquo;If you accomplished nothing else today, at least you did these things.&rdquo;</li> </ul> <p>The list creation and list review become bookends to my day, and the cycle seems to work.</p> <p>In our multitasking world where we&rsquo;re expected to check email, complete a report, and review a spreadsheet all while driving and cooking a nutritious meal, lists are a line drawn in the sand of insanity. They are a methodical, reasonable, wonderfully old-fashioned method of <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/tips-for-accomplishing-more-in-a-day" target="_blank">getting things done consciously</a>. Lists are a nod to the joy and the wisdom of mono-tasking; they're a way to carve out some mental space to plan, to keep a healthy pace, and really complete a task before moving on to the next. And when you factor in those hard won checkmarks, well&hellip;let&rsquo;s just say that list-making can be deeply rewarding.</p> <p><em>Are you list-maker? How do you keep yourself motivated as you work through each task? What advice would you give to new list-makers?</em></p> <br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">This article is from <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/kentin-waits">Kentin Waits</a> of <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/why-i-love-lists">Wise Bread</a>, an award-winning personal finance and <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/credit-cards">credit card comparison</a> website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:</div><div class="view view-similarterms view-id-similarterms view-display-id-block_2 view-dom-id-4"> <div class="view-content"> <div class="item-list"> <ul> <li class="views-row views-row-1 views-row-odd views-row-first"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/the-10-best-productivity-apps-for-really-busy-people-like-you">The 10 Best Productivity Apps for Really Busy People Like You</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-2 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/these-checklists-will-make-your-life-better">These Checklists Will Make Your Life Better</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-3 views-row-odd"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/the-5-best-ways-to-spend-the-first-10-minutes-of-your-workday">The 5 Best Ways to Spend the First 10 Minutes of Your Workday</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-4 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/how-to-make-your-sluggish-workday-go-a-lot-faster">How to Make Your Sluggish Workday Go (a Lot) Faster</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-5 views-row-odd views-row-last"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/get-it-done-how-to-measure-your-goals">Get It Done: How to Measure Your Goals</a></span> </div> </li> </ul> </div> </div> </div> </div><br/></br> Organization Productivity getting things done lists love Tue, 28 May 2013 10:00:34 +0000 Kentin Waits 975249 at http://www.wisebread.com Best Money Tips: Balancing Love and Money http://www.wisebread.com/best-money-tips-balancing-love-and-money <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/best-money-tips-balancing-love-and-money" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://wisebread.killeracesmedia.netdna-cdn.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/4274605855_af963614af_z.jpg" alt="money heart" title="money heart" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="250" height="190" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p>Welcome to Wise Bread's <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/topic/best-money-tips">Best Money Tips</a> Roundup! Today we found some fantastic articles on tips for balancing love and money, saving big on winter utilities, and how to start an IRA.</p> <h2>Top 5 Articles</h2> <p><a href="http://www.savvysugar.com/Money-Issues-Relationship-2945202">10 Tips for Balancing Love and Money</a> &mdash; When balancing love and money, it is important to make a joint spending plan. [SavvySugar]</p> <p><a href="http://livingonthecheap.com/save-on-winter-utilities-with-these-universal-tips/">18 tips to save big on winter utilities</a> &mdash; To save big on winter utilities, repair water leaks on faucets and toilets and open your drapes on sunny days. [Living on the Cheap]</p> <p><a href="http://www.narrowbridge.net/how-to-start-ira-or-roth-ira/">How to Start an IRA (or Roth IRA)</a> &mdash; When deciding where to open an IRA or Roth IRA, take into consideration the trading fees of any brokerage you are considering [NarrowBridge Finance]</p> <p><a href="http://www.stretcher.com/stories/07/07feb12c.cfm?slider#.URkxpIXxJl8">Saving 20k as a 20 Something</a> &mdash; Save more money in your 20s by opting to eat out for lunch instead of dinner when meeting with friends for food. [The Dollar Stretcher]</p> <p><a href="http://genxfinance.com/states-with-no-income-tax/">States With No Income Tax</a> &mdash; Are you sick of paying income taxes? Consider moving to Florida or Washington. [Generation X Finance]</p> <h2>Other Essential Reading</h2> <p><a href="http://christianpf.com/20-cheap-and-fun-date-ideas/">20 Cheap and Fun Date Ideas</a> &mdash; Need a cheap yet fun date idea? Go to the driving range or go stargazing. [Christian PF]</p> <p><a href="http://cashmoneylife.com/retirement-planning-in-your-40s/">Retirement Planning in Your 40s - Making Retirement a Priority</a> &mdash; If you need to make up for lost time when it comes to retirement planning, try to hold onto your cars for longer than you normally do. [Cash Money Life]</p> <p><a href="http://www.carefulcents.com/run-your-business-more-efficiently/">3 Strategies to Run Your Freelance Business More Efficiently</a> &mdash; To run your freelance business more efficiently, take advantage of your resources. [Careful Cents]</p> <p><a href="http://lenpenzo.com/blog/id17808-18-personal-finance-facts-you-didnt-know-about-us-presidents.html">18 Personal Finance Facts You Didn't Know About US Presidents</a> &mdash; Did you know the President gets $19,000 to spend on entertainment each year? [Len Penzo dot Com]</p> <p><a href="http://parentingsquad.com/21-valentines-day-crafts-for-kids">21 Valentine's Day Crafts for Kids of All Ages</a> &mdash; This Valentine's Day, have your kids make love rocks or marshmallow love bugs. [Parenting Squad]</p> <br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">This article is from <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/ashley-jacobs">Ashley Jacobs</a> of <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/best-money-tips-balancing-love-and-money">Wise Bread</a>, an award-winning personal finance and <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/credit-cards">credit card comparison</a> website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:</div><div class="view view-similarterms view-id-similarterms view-display-id-block_2 view-dom-id-5"> <div class="view-content"> <div class="item-list"> <ul> <li class="views-row views-row-1 views-row-odd views-row-first"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/the-things-that-money-just-cant-buy">The things that money just can&#039;t buy</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-2 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/9-ways-money-does-buy-happiness">9 Ways Money Does Buy Happiness</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-3 views-row-odd"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/chinese-money-habits-how-my-culture-influences-my-attitudes-toward-money">Chinese Money Habits - How My Culture Influences My Attitudes Toward Money</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-4 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/dissecting-gift-guilt-when-does-receiving-a-gift-make-you-feel-bad">Dissecting &quot;Gift Guilt&quot; - When Does Receiving a Gift Make You Feel Bad?</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-5 views-row-odd views-row-last"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/sensible-ways-to-raise-cash-for-a-wedding">Sensible Ways to Raise Cash for a Wedding</a></span> </div> </li> </ul> </div> </div> </div> </div><br/></br> Lifestyle balance balancing best money tips love money Tue, 12 Feb 2013 10:48:32 +0000 Ashley Jacobs 967797 at http://www.wisebread.com 20 Frugal Ways to Brighten Your Spouse's Day http://www.wisebread.com/20-frugal-ways-to-brighten-your-spouses-day <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/20-frugal-ways-to-brighten-your-spouses-day" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://wisebread.killeracesmedia.netdna-cdn.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/fountain_couple.jpg" alt="Couple in front of a fountain" title="Couple in front of a fountain" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="250" height="140" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p>With everything that my husband and I have going on in our lives, it&rsquo;s often easy to forget about each other.</p> <p>I don&rsquo;t mean that we forget that the other person exists, but it&rsquo;s not uncommon to get so wrapped up in our work and other responsibilities that we neglect our relationship at times.</p> <p>I know we&rsquo;re not alone in this. There are lots of other couples out there in similar situations. The good news is, letting your spouse know that they&rsquo;re on your mind isn&rsquo;t hard (and it doesn&rsquo;t have to cost much either).</p> <p>To help you show your sweetie that he or she is still the one for you, here are 20 frugal ways to bring a smile to their face today. (See also: <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/21-frugal-ways-to-reward-yourself-right-now">21 Frugal Ways to Reward&nbsp;Yourself Right Now</a>)</p> <h3>1. Write a Love Note</h3> <p>Tell your sweetie how much you love them in a quick note that you put in their lunch, briefcase, or bag. If you prefer the tech route, tweet the love note in 140 characters or less for all your followers to see.</p> <h3>2. Draw a Heart on the Bathroom Mirror</h3> <p>Express yourself when your partner isn&rsquo;t looking, drawing a heart when the glass is all fogged up from the steam.</p> <h3>3. Take on a Chore</h3> <p>Do something that your partner normally does, like take out the trash, walk the dogs, wash the dishes, or <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/how-baking-soda-took-my-bathroom-from-%E2%80%9Cyuck%E2%80%9D-to-yes">clean the bathroom</a>. I sincerely hope my husband reads this entry.</p> <h3>4. Serve Breakfast in Bed</h3> <p>Who doesn&rsquo;t like breakfast in bed? Eating in your undies is the best! To make the breakfast even more special, use a heart-shaped cookie cutter to mold pancakes or cut a heart shape out of toast.</p> <h3>5. Give a Massage</h3> <p>Tell your partner take a load off while you rub their back, neck, and shoulders for at least five minutes.</p> <h3>6. Make a Special Playlist</h3> <p>A special playlist doesn&rsquo;t have the same appeal as a tangible mix tape, but the sentiment is still there. Steal your partner&rsquo;s iPod and upload a few songs that let him or her how you feel.</p> <h3>7. Stop by the Office for Lunch</h3> <p>Pop into your partner&rsquo;s office at lunchtime and surprise them with a quick bite to eat at a nearby restaurant.</p> <h3>8. Give a Compliment on a Physical Attribute</h3> <p>Guys are notorious for never noticing that their partner got their hair did. Make up for it by letting your partner know how great they look in a new outfit or that their diet/exercise routine is working well.</p> <h3>9. Wash the Car</h3> <p>Break out the bucket and soap, and make your partner&rsquo;s car shine.</p> <h3>10. Dedicate a Love Song</h3> <p>Call the radio station that you partner listens to and dedicate a song.</p> <h3>11. Declare Your Love on Facebook</h3> <p>You probably post a lot of nonsense on Facebook. Make at least one status update count by letting all your friends know just how special your man or lady friend is.</p> <h3>12. Make a YouTube Video</h3> <p>Record a video letting your partner know those things about them that make your heart flutter and post it for the world to see.</p> <h3>13. Run a Bubble Bath</h3> <p>Did you partner have a long day at work? Run a bubble bath and set up the tub with a glass of wine and a magazine.</p> <h3>14. Slow Dance in the Living Room</h3> <p>Turn on a slow jam and ask your partner to dance. Yes, right inside your house.</p> <h3>15. Pick Up the Phone to Say &quot;I Love You&quot;</h3> <p>Do you talk on the phone anymore? I don&rsquo;t. I prefer texting. Which is why sometimes it&rsquo;s nice &mdash; nostalgic even &mdash; to pick up the phone and call your lover just to say that you love &rsquo;em.</p> <h3>16. Turn Off the TV</h3> <p>Don&rsquo;t pretend like your TV isn&rsquo;t on when you&rsquo;re having adult time. Turn it off so you can give each other the undivided attention you want and need.</p> <h3>17. Plan a Picnic</h3> <p>Make a few sandwiches, grab a blanket and a couple of <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/top-five-economy-based-board-games-that-make-you-think">board games</a>, and head to the park for a relaxing afternoon filled with quality time.</p> <h3>18. Pitch a Tent</h3> <p>You don&rsquo;t have to go anywhere. Pitch the tent in your backyard so you have the romance of camping but the convenience of home.</p> <h3>19. Cook Your Partner's Favorite Dinner</h3> <p><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/14-mostly-frugal-valentine-s-day-recipes">Make that special meal</a> that makes your partner melt. The key to a person's heart is through their stomach, after all.</p> <h3>20. Leave Your Partner Alone for a Few Hours</h3> <p>I love spending time with my husband, but sometimes I just need a few hours to myself. Give your partner the space they deserve by exiting the house on a Saturday or Sunday so you honey can relax however they want to.</p> <p><em>Have even more ways to brighten your partner&rsquo;s day in a low-cost way? Let me know in the comments below.</em></p> <br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">This article is from <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/mikey-rox">Mikey Rox</a> of <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/20-frugal-ways-to-brighten-your-spouses-day">Wise Bread</a>, an award-winning personal finance and <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/credit-cards">credit card comparison</a> website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:</div><div class="view view-similarterms view-id-similarterms view-display-id-block_2 view-dom-id-13"> <div class="view-content"> <div class="item-list"> <ul> <li class="views-row views-row-1 views-row-odd views-row-first"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/9-places-to-go-to-beat-the-summer-heat">9 Places to Go to Beat the Summer Heat</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-2 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/25-new-things-to-do-today">25 New Things to Do Today</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-3 views-row-odd"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/free-and-cheap-things-to-do-in-champaign-urbana">Free and cheap things to do in Champaign-Urbana</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-4 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/3-simple-ways-to-split-bills-with-your-spouse">3 Simple Ways to Split Bills With Your Spouse</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-5 views-row-odd views-row-last"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/50-ways-to-have-free-outdoor-fun">50+ Ways to Have Free Outdoor Fun</a></span> </div> </li> </ul> </div> </div> </div> </div><br/></br> Lifestyle cheer up love spouses things to do Mon, 21 May 2012 10:36:07 +0000 Mikey Rox 929212 at http://www.wisebread.com How to Be Happy and Married: 24 Tips from a 24-Year-Old Marriage http://www.wisebread.com/how-to-be-happy-and-married-24-tips-from-a-24-year-old-marriage <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/how-to-be-happy-and-married-24-tips-from-a-24-year-old-marriage" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://wisebread.killeracesmedia.netdna-cdn.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/bride with roses_0.jpg" alt="bride and groom with roses" title="bride and groom with roses" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="250" height="188" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p>My husband and I celebrated our 24th anniversary last week. Here are a few things I've learned about having a happy, long-lasting marriage.</p> <p>1. Talk. Take time to talk everyday, just for fun, and set aside time to discuss and reach agreement on serious matters.</p> <p>2. Don&rsquo;t expect your spouse to be a mind reader, even if he (or she) really <em>should</em> know what you want.</p> <p>3. <strong>Forget</strong> the type of <strong>compromise</strong> that means thinking of yourself <em>in favor of </em>finding solutions that work for you as a couple. This processmay requirea complete reversal in your thinking and not justmaking a few concessions.</p> <p>4. Let her have her way (or his way) sometimes, even without fully understanding the rationale for a request or decision. (Some needs can bedifficult to articulate.)</p> <p>5. Go to weddings where you&rsquo;ll likely be reminded of promises you made. Phrases such as staying together &ldquo;richer or poorer&rdquo; and &ldquo;in sickness and in health&rdquo; don&rsquo;t describe hypothetical situations but future reality.</p> <p>6. Be your spouse&rsquo;s advocate. There are times when you may need to protect or defend your husband or wife.</p> <p>7. Never go to bed mad. Anger shouldn&rsquo;t simmer but should be dealt with as quickly as possible.</p> <p>8. Make reasonable requests but don&rsquo;t pressure or make unreasonable demands.</p> <p>9. Don&rsquo;t compete with each other. Compete with other couples if you&rsquo;d like but never with each other.</p> <p>10. Play outside. I like to go hiking or swing (at playgrounds). Just because you&rsquo;re married now doesn&rsquo;t mean you always have to act like a grown-up.</p> <p>11. Give something up, if necessary, to reach a mutual goal&hellip;so your spouse can see where your priorities lie. Just beware &mdash; one person shouldn&rsquo;t always be the one to sacrifice.</p> <p>12. Celebrate. We celebrate our first date, engagement, and wedding anniversaries in addition to birthdays and holidays.</p> <p>13. Laugh. My husband loves to make me laugh and is always trying to say the perfect funny thing. (More than 15 years later, I still remember when he started singing &quot;<a href="http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x2bg3k_village-people-macho-man-version-lo_music">macho man</a>&quot; when we saw a shirtless guy running up the road to <a href="http://www.lookoutmountaintn.org/">Lookout Mountain</a> near Chattanooga, Tennessee, where we had gone to celebrate our wedding anniversary.)</p> <p>14. Indulge. I&rsquo;m not giving license to dine out every evening or take Caribbean vacations a few times a year (unless you can clearly afford to) but realize that some fun can help bond you as a couple.</p> <p>15. Take care of your kids but don&rsquo;t put them first in everything you do. Obviously, there are times when your children need full attention and anything less could be disastrous but they don&rsquo;t have to be the center of your life every waking moment.</p> <p>16. Learn to love your extended family. You don&rsquo;t have to agree or even condone everything each and every family member says, does, or <em>must be thinking</em>. Acceptance can go a long way and after a while, you may actually find one or two (or more) family membersyou genuinely like.</p> <p>17. Be flexible. Being able to adapt to changing circumstances is not only necessary (sometimes) at home, work, and elsewhere, but it can also reinforce convictions that what is most important is your commitment to each other and not a set of convenient circumstances.</p> <p>18. Talk about problems with your spouse or a counselor, rather than your best friend or someone who may tend to see just your perspective and may not encourage you to talk things over with your beloved.</p> <p>19. Don&rsquo;t depend on your spouse for everything.</p> <p>20. Encourage your spouse to develop her or his talents, and do the things he or she enjoys.</p> <p>21.Go on dates. (For ideas for frugal dates, visit the <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/forums/frugal-living/ideas-cheap-dates-5149.html">forum</a> or see Myscha's post on <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/eight-cheap-dates">cheap dates</a>.)</p> <p>22. Keep learning about each other and the world. (Even after 24 years, my husband and I still find that we don&rsquo;t know everything about each other, and can tell stories about our pasts that the other has never heard.)</p> <p>23. Be loyal and faithful.</p> <p>24. Believe. To me, promising that you&rsquo;ll stay married to someone forever, whether you were childhood sweethearts or datedfor a few months (and neither is a guarantee of marriage longevity or brevity) is an act of faith.</p> <p>My list isn't exhaustive so if you been married awhile or even if you just got married, share your secrets for happiness together.</p> <br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">This article is from <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/julie-rains">Julie Rains</a> of <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/how-to-be-happy-and-married-24-tips-from-a-24-year-old-marriage">Wise Bread</a>, an award-winning personal finance and <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/credit-cards">credit card comparison</a> website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:</div><div class="view view-similarterms view-id-similarterms view-display-id-block_2 view-dom-id-6"> <div class="view-content"> <div class="item-list"> <ul> <li class="views-row views-row-1 views-row-odd views-row-first"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/how-to-deal-when-your-spouse-is-suffering-from-burnout">How to Deal When Your Spouse is Suffering From Burnout</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-2 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/10-relationship-rules-you-should-be-breaking">10 Relationship Rules You Should Be Breaking</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-3 views-row-odd"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/6-ways-regular-budget-meetings-might-save-your-marriage">6 Ways Regular Budget Meetings Might Save Your Marriage</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-4 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/make-these-6-relationship-moves-now-or-youll-regret-it-in-20-years">Make These 6 Relationship Moves Now or You&#039;ll Regret It in 20 Years</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-5 views-row-odd views-row-last"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/spice-up-the-conversation-by-skipping-what-do-you-do">Spice Up the Conversation by Skipping &quot;What Do You Do?&quot;</a></span> </div> </li> </ul> </div> </div> </div> </div><br/></br> Life Hacks love marriage relationships Thu, 07 May 2009 13:54:21 +0000 Julie Rains 3133 at http://www.wisebread.com Spend Less This Valentine’s Day (And Win an iPod Touch!) http://www.wisebread.com/spend-less-this-valentines-day-and-win-an-ipod-touch <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/spend-less-this-valentines-day-and-win-an-ipod-touch" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://wisebread.killeracesmedia.netdna-cdn.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/touch.jpg" alt="iPod Touch" title="iPod Touch" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="215" height="215" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p class="MsoNormal"><em><strong>***Congratulations to Emerson (Comment #360)... You have won the iPod Touch.&nbsp; We have contacted you by email, and you will have 48 hours to claim your prize, or another winner will be drawn. ****</strong></em></p> <p class="MsoNormal">&nbsp;</p> <p class="MsoNormal">I&rsquo;ll admit that I&rsquo;m not as crazy for V-Day as I once was.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>The romance is still there, but my husband and I quit getting extravagant with our gifts once more of our money started going toward diapers.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>Still, it&rsquo;s the little things that can touch your heart, so why not start small with a personalized gift that won&rsquo;t break the bank?<span style="">&nbsp; </span>Here are our favorite tips:<o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><a href="../../../../../../last-minute-valentine-cake-on-the-fly"><strong>Last Minute Valentine Cakes on the Fly</strong></a>&ndash; Myscha makes bakin&rsquo; up some love seem simple.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>Maybe because it really is!<o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><a href="../../../../../../couplehood-avoiding-the-valentine-cliches"><strong>Couplehood:<span style="">&nbsp; </span>Avoiding the Valentine&rsquo;s Clich&eacute;s</strong></a> &ndash; Some might call Andrea cynical.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>We call her amazing.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>Read up on how to avoid being put into some kind of predictable &ldquo;love box,&rdquo; and gain some frugal inspiration at the same time.<o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><a href="../../../../../../valentine-ideas-for-the-single-crowd"><strong>Valentine Ideas for the Single Crowd</strong></a> &ndash; I know.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>Not everyone is &ldquo;lucky in love.&rdquo;<span style="">&nbsp; </span>But some would consider themselves pretty darn lucky to be single.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>(This one&rsquo;s for you.)<o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><a href="../../../../../../flower-power-a-guide-to-frugal-valentines-flowers"><strong>Flower Power: A Guide to Frugal Valentine&rsquo;s Flowers</strong></a> &ndash; Roses are a racket, but that doesn&rsquo;t mean you have to forgo the flowers.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>This guide can save your marriage (and at least $50.)<o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><a href="../../../../../../cheap-and-romantic-ideas-for-valentines-day-and-any-other-day-of-the-year"><strong>Cheap and Romantic Ideas for Valentine&rsquo;s Day</strong></a> &ndash; Perfect for any day of the year, these are just plain sweet (and many are free!)<o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">There&rsquo;s no excuse to avoiding a great gift, just because you&rsquo;re a little strapped this holiday.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>If in doubt, a modern version of the mix-tape is always a great idea.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>To help you out, we&rsquo;ve teamed up with Walmart and Nestle to give one of you lucky readers an <a href="http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=10542374">8GB iPod Touch</a> &ndash; perfect for uploading your favorite tunes from Walmart.com (or any of the <a href="http://instoresnow.walmart.com/Community.aspx?id=303">top love songs picked by the 11Moms</a>.)<span style="">&nbsp; </span>We&rsquo;ll even throw in a gift card for your first 10 songs!</p> <p>To be eligible to win, comment on this post with your favorite frugal V-Day tip.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>You have until February 10<sup>th</sup> to enter.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>(Winner will be announced on February 14<sup>th</sup>!)<span style="">&nbsp; </span><st1:country-region w:st="on"><strong>U.S.</strong></st1:country-region><strong> and <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:country-region w:st="on">Canada</st1:country-region></st1:place> only.&nbsp; Must be 18 or older to enter. </strong></p> <p><em>Wise Bread will not sell or use your email address for any purpose other than to contact the winner.</em>&nbsp;</p> <p class="MsoNormal">And don&rsquo;t forget to check out all the cool gift ideas, tips, and promotions at <a href="http://www.walmart.com/sweetideas">http://www.walmart.com/sweetideas</a>.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>They include a cool <a href="http://instoresnow.walmart.com/Community.aspx?id=304">&ldquo;Blow a Kiss&rdquo; phone app</a>, special <a href="http://instoresnow.walmart.com/Community.aspx?id=301">eValentines</a>, and a <a href="http://instoresnow.walmart.com/Valentines-Gifts.aspx">totally affordable holiday gift guide</a>.<span style="">&nbsp; </span><strong><em>Can you feel the love?</em></strong></p> <br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">This article is from <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/linsey-knerl">Linsey Knerl</a> of <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/spend-less-this-valentines-day-and-win-an-ipod-touch">Wise Bread</a>, an award-winning personal finance and <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/credit-cards">credit card comparison</a> website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:</div><div class="view view-similarterms view-id-similarterms view-display-id-block_2 view-dom-id-7"> <div class="view-content"> <div class="item-list"> <ul> <li class="views-row views-row-1 views-row-odd views-row-first"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/flashback-friday-104-sweet-ways-to-celebrate-valentines-day">Flashback Friday: 104 Sweet Ways to Celebrate Valentine&#039;s Day</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-2 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/weird-things-you-didnt-know-about-valentines-day">Weird Things You Didn&#039;t Know About Valentine&#039;s Day</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-3 views-row-odd"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/celebrate-love-not-money-with-these-recycled-valentines-day-gifts">Celebrate Love, Not Money, With These Recycled Valentine&#039;s Day Gifts</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-4 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/couplehood-avoiding-the-valentine-cliches">Couplehood: Avoiding the Valentine Clichés</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-5 views-row-odd views-row-last"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/hp-giving-away-500-to-a-lucky-wise-bread-reader">HP Giving Away $500 to a Lucky Wise Bread Reader</a></span> </div> </li> </ul> </div> </div> </div> </div><br/></br> Giveaways iPod touch love Valentine's Day Thu, 29 Jan 2009 21:03:30 +0000 Linsey Knerl 2781 at http://www.wisebread.com Cheap and Romantic Ideas for Valentine's Day (And Any Other Day of the Year) http://www.wisebread.com/cheap-and-romantic-ideas-for-valentines-day-and-any-other-day-of-the-year <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/cheap-and-romantic-ideas-for-valentines-day-and-any-other-day-of-the-year" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://wisebread.killeracesmedia.netdna-cdn.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/love.jpg" alt="" title="" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="250" height="375" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p>I have always loathed Valentine&#39;s day because everywhere I went I would see gaudy pink and red balloons and roses and men who are literally suckered into buying the useless things out of &quot;tradition&quot;. I also had a <a href="http://baglady.dreamhosters.com/2007/09/18/my-super-cheap-ex-boyfriend/" target="_blank">pretty darn cheap ex-boyfriend</a> , and I rarely received a Valentine&#39;s gesture from him. I think once he did buy me a day old strawberry shortcake that was half off at the Safeway bakery. Anyway,today I shall list some ideas for Valentine&#39;s that aren&#39;t gaudy or expensive. This is for the frugal and practical guys and gals out there who want to express love anytime without participating in a commercialized fluff of a &quot;holiday&quot;.<br /><strong><br />1. Write a love letter or poem </strong>- It costs practically nothing to put your feelings on paper. It may not be easy to write down emotions, but practice makes perfect. You do not have to be a great writer to just recount a great date you have had with your lover and describe how happy he or she makes you. As long as you put some effort into crafting a message that expresses your adoration for your mate, whatever you do will be appreciated. My husband once wrote a whole journal about himself and what led to our relationship and gave it to my birthday. I thought that was a really romantic gift.</p> <p><strong>2. Take a walk or hike together</strong> - Once my husband and I walked for a few hours on the beach and collected seaglass, and we turned it into a bit of a competition to see who found the biggest piece. When you walk together you see the world differently than from your TV or your car and I think it is romantic because walking makes the world and your lover seem more real and tangible. </p> <p><strong>3. Cook a favorite meal at home </strong>- Instead of going to an expensive restaurant, it is fun to dress up a favorite meal cooked at home. You can light candles on the dinner table, dim the lights, and put on some mood music. It is also possible to duplicate expensive meals at home at wholesale costs if you are adept at cooking. </p> <p><strong>4. Creatively use free flower petals</strong> - Usually florists throw away the outside petals of flowers to make the flowers they sell look perfect. Each day if you just go by a florist they will probably have a lot of free flower petals for people to take. You can take these petals and do many things with them. For example, you can decorate the dinner table, bed, or float the petals in a bath. </p> <p><strong>5. Surprise your significant other at times you usually do not see him or her</strong> - If you work in different places then it would be fun to have a surprise lunch date set up for your mate. Of course, do not do this if your partner does not like to be bothered at work or if they are embarassed by you. <br /><strong><br />6. Take photographs together and of each other</strong> - After being together for a bit you may find that you do not actually have that many photographs of each other. It is fun to just set aside a time to pick up the camera and take pictures of each other. You can also go to a photobooth and take pictures together. Photographs are always good reminders of the good times you have had. </p> <p><strong>7. Do something that your partner likes to do but you do not necessarily appreciate</strong> - No matter how compatible a couple is, two people will have different interests. For example, if he loves fishing and you do not, maybe you can accompany him on a fishing trip. If she loves poetry readings and you do not, maybe you can read her some poems. Doing something you normally would not do for the sake of your mate can be very romantic. </p> <p><strong>8. Shower or bath together </strong>- Cleaning each other in the tub or in a shower is great fun because you can touch each other everywhere. It could also conserve water. If one person rinses while the other lathers then it is possible to use the same amount of water one person usually uses to clean two people! </p> <p>I am sure there are many other ways of being romantic and frugal at the same time. The key is to know your partner and his or her preferences. For example, my husband knows that I think bouquets of roses are stupid because they die after three days so he no longer buys them, but he knows I love food so he always cooks to cheer me up. As long as you make an effort to make your mate feel loved, you can be romantic without becoming a spendy <a href="/couplehood-avoiding-the-valentine-cliches" target="_blank">Valentine&#39;s Day cliche</a> . </p> <br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">This article is from <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/xin-lu">Xin Lu</a> of <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/cheap-and-romantic-ideas-for-valentines-day-and-any-other-day-of-the-year">Wise Bread</a>, an award-winning personal finance and <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/credit-cards">credit card comparison</a> website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:</div><div class="view view-similarterms view-id-similarterms view-display-id-block_2 view-dom-id-2"> <div class="view-content"> <div class="item-list"> <ul> <li class="views-row views-row-1 views-row-odd views-row-first"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/wisdom-from-my-favorite-frugal-tv-character-julius-rock">Wisdom from My Favorite Frugal TV Character - Julius Rock</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-2 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/oprah-asks-a-great-question-what-can-you-live-without">Oprah Asks A Great Question; What Can You Live Without?</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-3 views-row-odd"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/do-not-buy-something-just-because-you-can-afford-it">Do not buy something just because you can afford it</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-4 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/chinese-money-habits-how-my-culture-influences-my-attitudes-toward-money">Chinese Money Habits - How My Culture Influences My Attitudes Toward Money</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-5 views-row-odd views-row-last"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/8-spectacular-uses-for-that-lone-can-of-fruit">8 Spectacular Uses for that Lone Can of Fruit</a></span> </div> </li> </ul> </div> </div> </div> </div><br/></br> Personal Finance Frugal Living General Tips Lifestyle cheap Cooking frugal love romantic valentine's walking Mon, 11 Feb 2008 10:45:55 +0000 Xin Lu 1777 at http://www.wisebread.com Link-Love Makes the World Go 'Round http://www.wisebread.com/link-love-makes-the-world-go-round <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/link-love-makes-the-world-go-round" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://wisebread.killeracesmedia.netdna-cdn.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/chain_0.jpg" alt="" title="" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="250" height="157" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p class="MsoNormal">In keeping with the warm and fuzzy feeling that Wisebread gives many of its writers and readers, I am taking a moment to give thanks to those that have linked to us over the past two weeks.<span> </span>We appreciate that you would vouch for our perspectives on money and life here at Wisebread.<span> </span>While every attempt is made to include all link love and honorable mentions, I am a newer writer here at Wisebread, and may have inadvertently missed someone very special who didn’t show up in my search. If you are one of those brilliant but overlooked souls, just email us, and we’ll be sure to get you included in the next listing of Wisebread friends and family. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Thanks to <a href="http://lifehacker.com/software/travel/how-to-plan-a-survivable-road-trip-275931.php">Lifehacker</a> for its mention of <a href="/how-to-survive-a-road-trip">Jessica’s Road Trip</a> piece.<span> </span>We’re feeling your ode to White Snake, but you haven’t truly lived until you’ve driven 230 miles with R.E.M’s “Shiny Happy People” on repeat. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><a href="http://blog.wired.com/geekdad/2007/07/road-trip.html">Wired blog</a> also gave our travel bit the label “savvy” and suggested that we get a little more kid-friendly over here at Wisebread.<span> </span>We hear ya loud and clear.<span> </span>Expect some suggestions for families with children in the next month.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">The always charming <a href="http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/07/11/the-simple-dollar-morning-roundup-wise-bread-edition/">The Simple Dollar</a> was almost forgotten in my original post (sorry, guys). They always do such a nice job of pointing out our better posts. Sometimes people are so good at giving link love, they kind of get taken for granted. (Won&#39;t happen again, I promise!) If you&#39;re looking for a great roundup of some frugal but practical ideas, check them out. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">We were happy to see Paul’s <a href="/6500-repair-bill-to-remove-a-stone-from-a-moon-roof">Moon Roof piece</a> on <a href="http://www.autoblog.com/2007/06/15/video-customer-calls-out-mercedes-service-rep-on-bogus-6-500/">Autoblog</a>. We appreciate you helping us to inform consumers on the perils of car-repair fraud!</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Apparently our own Paul Michael wasn’t the only one enamored by the <a href="/go-topless-this-summer-with-strapless-flip-flops">strapless flip-flop</a>.<span> </span><a href="http://www.productdose.com/article.php?article_id=6172">Product Dose</a> gave props to the strangest useful summer product I’ve seen in ages.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><a href="http://echoboomerfinance.blogspot.com/2007/07/from-wisebread.html">Echo Boomer Finance</a> shares his feelings on Philip’s <a href="/a-budget-is-not-a-constraint">budget article</a>, along with a nice outline for college grocery spending.<span> </span>We can take heart knowing we weren’t the only college kids buying Ramen in the economy pack.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"> Andrea’s <a href="/decked-out-in-dog-more-reasons-to-boycott-chinese-goods">Decked Out in Dog</a> article prompted mention from <a href="http://pajamasmedia.com/2007/06/how_much_is_that_doggie_in_the.php">Pajamas Media</a>. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Our take on the <a href="/how-to-survive-a-road-trip">Road Trip</a> by Jessica was also posted on the <a href="http://bestoftheblackhills.blogspot.com/2007/07/how-to-survive-road-trip.html">Best of the Black Hills</a>. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Ed&#39;s <a href="/a-by-no-means-definitive-list-of-some-cool-and-free-additions-for-your-blog-or-website">Must-have free plugins for your WordPress</a> made the grade at <a href="http://webdosh.blogspot.com/2007/07/blog-it-and-earn-it.html">Web-Dosh</a> (Blog it and Earn it.)</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Jaimie at <a href="http://paidtwice.wordpress.com/2007/07/13/thoughts-on-budgeting-much-more-eloquent-than-my-own/">PaidTwice</a> gave us a nice shout-out for why <a href="/a-budget-is-not-a-constraint">A Budget is Not a Constraint</a>, along with a lovely spot on the Blogroll! </p> <p class="MsoNormal"> Once again, we want to thank ALL of our web friends for their word-of-mouth generosity.<span> </span>If you see Wisebread recently mentioned somewhere I forgot, please email us at <a href="mailto:tips@wisebread.com">tips@wisebread.com</a>, and we’ll be sure to include the poster in our next roundup!</p> <br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">This article is from <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/linsey-knerl">Linsey Knerl</a> of <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/link-love-makes-the-world-go-round">Wise Bread</a>, an award-winning personal finance and <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/credit-cards">credit card comparison</a> website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:</div><div class="view view-similarterms view-id-similarterms view-display-id-block_2 view-dom-id-8"> <div class="view-content"> <div class="item-list"> <ul> <li class="views-row views-row-1 views-row-odd views-row-first"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/link-it-real-good">Link it real good</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-2 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/its-the-linkster-the-linkmeister">It&#039;s the linkster! The linkmeister!</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-3 views-row-odd"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/you-link-us-you-really-really-link-us">You link us! You really, really link us!</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-4 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/link-o-rama">Link-o-rama</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-5 views-row-odd views-row-last"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/cheap-and-romantic-ideas-for-valentines-day-and-any-other-day-of-the-year">Cheap and Romantic Ideas for Valentine&#039;s Day (And Any Other Day of the Year)</a></span> </div> </li> </ul> </div> </div> </div> </div><br/></br> Personal Finance blog links love traffic Tue, 17 Jul 2007 15:50:47 +0000 Linsey Knerl 849 at http://www.wisebread.com The things that money just can't buy http://www.wisebread.com/the-things-that-money-just-cant-buy <p><img src="http://wisebread.killeracesmedia.netdna-cdn.com/files/fruganomics/wisebread_imce/peace.jpg" alt="peace" title="peace" width="300" height="224" /></p> <p>After reading Ed&#39;s post about <a href="/do-you-have-what-you-want-and-do-you-want-what-you-have">Afluenza</a> , I began thinking long and hard about what I have in my life that really matters to me. It&#39;s all very well keeping up with the Joneses, but at the end of the day it really doesn&#39;t mean anything. I was talking to a fireman a few months ago and he said that time after time, the things people run back into a blazing house for are not valuable (as far as other people are concerned). It&#39;s not the big-screen TV or the gold Rolex. No, it&#39;s the family photo albums, the teddy bear granny gave you 30 years ago, or the love letters from your sweetheart who is now your loving partner. </p> <!--break--><!--break--><p>So really, what are the things in life that truly matter? What is it that we&#39;re all searching for, and that no amount of money can buy? I think I have a list. It may not be the list you would attribute to yourself, it may not even be complete as far as you&#39;re concerned. But I think most of us would like the things contained within my list. And there&#39;s not a shiny Porsche or a 4000 sq ft house anywhere on it.</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p><strong>Love<br /></strong>I would be a fool not to put it first. I think at the end of the day, no amount of money and &#39;stuff&#39; can fill the void left by a lack of real love. Let&#39;s be clear, I&#39;m not talking about the kind of love you can get by flashing your BMW key fob at a bar in the hopes of trading money for a soul-mate (who&#39;ll leave you as soon as the money runs out). It&#39;s the love you get from your partner, when you look into his or her eyes and feel whole, safe and secure. It&#39;s the love of your child, hugging you for dear life and begging you not to go to work today. It&#39;s love that comes with no strings. Unconditional. Rich or poor. Good times and bad. If I were to measure my wealth by the love I get from my wife, my daughters and my close family, well, I&#39;d be right up there with Mr. Gates. </p> <p><strong>Respect</strong><br />Once again, as with many things on this list, you can buy a version of respect. Of course you can. The fawning that store-owners will do around wealthy people (remember the Pretty Woman scene?) could be taken as respect. Or the suck-ups in the office who&#39;ll do anything to get the attention of the big boss; that could also be considered as respect. But is it? It&#39;s a simple solve. Take away the money and power and is the respect still there? Sometimes it is. I&#39;ve had some great bosses, with amazing hearts and awe-inspiring values. Rich or poor, I&#39;d be tipping my head with respect. I&#39;ve also had complete egotistical maniac bosses, surrounded by people with venom in their eyes and hate filling their souls. Take the power and money away from my last boss and there&#39;d be people waiting in line to kick this guy where it hurts. Respect has to be earned, not bought. You actions define it, and your history with people is key. Be honest, be true, and treat others as you yourself would like to be treated. Be fair, be kind, be strong, be thoughtful and be inspiring. Respect will follow, whether you&#39;ve got $6 billion in the bank, or $60. </p> <p><strong>Friendship</strong><br />I was once told that the friends you keep are a good indication of what kind of person you are. I took a look at my close circle of friends, and I was quite happy with what I saw. Funny, honest, caring, genuine people. The kind of people that make you happy to go to work every day. The folks that would give you their last dime if you needed it. I don&#39;t have a lot of friends. But every one of them is a great person with a kind heart. If you want, you can buy friendships as easily as you can buy a new suit. But those kind of friends will not stick by you through bad times. Most won&#39;t even stay through mediocre times. So, take a look at the people who really mean the world to you. Think of the people you&#39;d want by you when times are a little rough. You&#39;ll see that those kind of friends are absolutely priceless. </p> <p><strong>Forgiveness</strong><br />I&#39;m talking about true forgiveness here, not the kind you get for muttering a half-hearted apology under your breath (while giving a cheap gift you picked up at the drug store). Real forgiveness for something bad you&#39;ve done can&#39;t be bought. You can&#39;t bribe someone to forget the past. I doubt even Donald Trump, with all his supposed billions, could buy the forgiveness of anyone he&#39;s truly wounded deeply. The only way to get it, if you&#39;re going to get it at all, is by earning it. By proving that you not only feel genuinely bad about what you did, but also that their forgiveness means everything to you. Try handing over $10,000 and saying &quot;hey, I&#39;m sorry I slept with your best friend and your mom...at the same time.&quot; </p> <p><strong>Happiness</strong><br />Yes, it&#39;s a cliche. I think that a severe lack of money can make you unhappy, but I&#39;d say that no amount of money can make you genuinely happy. I&#39;ve read stories of lottery winners who wished they&#39;d never seen a dime. Their friends turned on them, they were harrassed day and night. How many rich celebs are in rehab or seeing therapists because they are unhappy? &quot;More money, more problems&quot; seems so often the case. Now, don&#39;t get me wrong. I&#39;m not saying I wouldn&#39;t like a little more cash. But I&#39;m already happy with my life. I love my family, my friends, my job. But if you&#39;re sat there thinking money will make everything great, and if you only had $1 million you&#39;d be so much happier, I&#39;m fairly positive that the short-lived elation will be replaced by depression soon enough. </p> <p><strong>Talent</strong><br />I struggled with this one for a while. After all, I&#39;d hate to stop parents putting their kids through piano classes, art classes, singing lessons and so on. But I genuinely believe that true talent cannot be bought, only improved upon. Take a look at the infamous Paris Hilton to see that no amount of money could make her a good singer or actress. And yet musicians, sports stars and actors around the world often emerge from very poor backgrounds. I myself have no real talent for grammar or prose (you simply need to read any of my posts to see that I am far from eloquent). But I do have a way of motivating people, which is why I landed a job in advertising. My wife is pursuing a career in photography because both myself and my friends saw in her a natural talent. An eye for a great picture. The technical stuff, that can be learned and paid for through classes. But raw talent...now that&#39;s not for sale at any price (sorry Mr. Federline, you can&#39;t pick it up at WalMart on special).</p> <p><strong>Immortality </strong><br />Obviously no-one can live forever. But people try and live on through art, literature, music and other such pursuits. Sure, you can erect a giant statue of yourself or buy a whole bunch of buildings (Mr. Trump is constantly trying to buy his way into the history books). But in the end, it&#39;s not money but our actions that can get us ever-lasting life. The great thinkers and musicians of our time did not purchase a ticket to fame...they earned it. From Einstein to The Beatles, Archimedes to Mozart, real immortality comes not from a big pile of gold but huge pile of talent and perseverence.</p> <p><strong>Peace </strong><br />I saved the biggest till last. Peace cannot come from a fat wallet or bank vault. Real peace comes from ideas. Talking, thinking, and being empathetic and understanding every single day can bring about more peace than any money could ever buy. If we were all just a little more tolerant of other people, a little more forgiving and a little less obsessed with the mighty dollar, we may just see that money really isn&#39;t what life is all about. It&#39;s about loving your neighbor, caring for your family and telling your friends how much they mean to you. It&#39;s not going to solve world hunger immediately, it&#39;s not going to put an end to the war in Iraq. But at the end of the day, if we could all just see that we&#39;re not all that different and our petty squabbles are just that, then maybe we could move an inch closer to Nirvana here on Earth. </p> <p>I know this whole post has made me wide open to all sorts of comments and criticism, but I&#39;ll take it all in my stride. Is it so bad to want things to be better? And is it really so bad to say that the biggest and best things in your life don&#39;t have to cost you a penny? Now that&#39;s what living large on a small budget is all about my friends. Peace out.</p> <p><a href="http://www.sxc.hu/photo/792553"><em>Inspiring photo from The Stock Exchange </em></a> </p> <p><a href="http://www.sxc.hu/photo/792553"><em> </em></a> </p> <br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">This article is from <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/paul-michael">Paul Michael</a> of <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/the-things-that-money-just-cant-buy">Wise Bread</a>, an award-winning personal finance and <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/credit-cards">credit card comparison</a> website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:</div><div class="view view-similarterms view-id-similarterms view-display-id-block_2 view-dom-id-2"> <div class="view-content"> <div class="item-list"> <ul> <li class="views-row views-row-1 views-row-odd views-row-first"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/when-should-you-say-no-to-those-who-want-to-borrow-money-from-you">When Should You Say No to Those Who Want to Borrow Money from You?</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-2 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/what-does-being-rich-mean-to-you-anyway">What Does Being Rich Mean to You Anyway?</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-3 views-row-odd"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/dissecting-gift-guilt-when-does-receiving-a-gift-make-you-feel-bad">Dissecting &quot;Gift Guilt&quot; - When Does Receiving a Gift Make You Feel Bad?</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-4 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/9-ways-money-does-buy-happiness">9 Ways Money Does Buy Happiness</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-5 views-row-odd views-row-last"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/ow-do-you-deal-with-family-members-who-are-bad-at-managing-money">How Do You Deal With Family Members Who Are Bad At Managing Money?</a></span> </div> </li> </ul> </div> </div> </div> </div><br/></br> Family Lifestyle forgiveness friends happiness love money peace respect talent wealth Mon, 25 Jun 2007 04:19:43 +0000 Paul Michael 762 at http://www.wisebread.com