marriage and finances http://www.wisebread.com/taxonomy/term/9789/all en-US Making a Relationship Work When One Partner Earns More http://www.wisebread.com/making-a-relationship-work-when-one-partner-earns-more <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/making-a-relationship-work-when-one-partner-earns-more" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://wisebread.killeracesmedia.netdna-cdn.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/7331854942_0d93e8c611_z.jpg" alt="couple" title="couple" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="250" height="188" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p>Often, the spouse in the relationship who brings in less income than the other can feel inadequate and insecure about not being able to contribute equally to paying the bills or sending the same amount of money to savings.</p> <p>First, you should understand that it&rsquo;s natural &mdash; 99% of the time, one person is going to make more money than the other, which makes it almost impossible for each of you to contribute equally. Second, it&rsquo;s important to recognize that there are ways to even out the playing field so both partners can feel appreciated and valuable for their individual contributions.</p> <p>To help get this conversation started in your home, I&rsquo;ve put together a few tips to help you navigate a rather touchy subject and handle it in a way that&rsquo;s positive for your relationship. (See also: <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/how-to-be-happy-and-married-24-tips-from-a-24-year-old-marriage">How to Be Happy and Married:&nbsp;24 Tips From a 24-Year-Old Marriage</a>)</p> <h2>1. Talk About It</h2> <p>Many spouses avoid this topic of conversation because it ends up in fight with hurt feelings all around &mdash; but it doesn&rsquo;t have to be that way.</p> <p>The first step toward working out unbalanced incomes and finding common ground is to sit down and have a frank discussion about how much each partner brings in, your joint plan for saving, and your ultimate financial goals. Maybe one spouse is OK taking on the majority of the bills, no questions asked. Or perhaps the lower earner wants to take on a part-time job to contribute to the overall income a bit more. The only way you&rsquo;ll come to an amicable resolution, however, is with open and honest dialogue about what&rsquo;s expected, what can be done to ensure both spouse&rsquo;s happiness, and a plan to achieve it.</p> <h2>2. Crunch the Numbers</h2> <p>A great way to compromise on how much each spouse contributes to the monthly bills is to compare your salaries to see how much difference there is between them. Does one spouse make 25% or 50% more than the other? Whatever the percentage above the other, consider breaking down the bills with that gap in mind. The higher earner, since he or she brings in substantially more, could reasonably afford to pay a higher percentage of the rent/mortgage, cable, and utilities relative to their salary.</p> <h2>3. Establish a Joint Slush Fund</h2> <p>If one spouse is constantly pinching pennies while the other is seemingly sitting pretty, it may be hard for the lower earner to get on board with recreational activities that they can&rsquo;t afford on their own. To eliminate this problem, open a joint account that&rsquo;s specifically for fun. Decide how much money you&rsquo;ll contribute to the account on a regular basis &mdash; $100 a month? $200 a month? It should be an equitable amount that the lower earner can afford &mdash; and start building it up. After a while, you&rsquo;ll have an account to which you both contributed, so both of you can feel comfortable dipping into it when you want to do something together.</p> <h2>4. Put an Emphasis on Free Activities</h2> <p>Even if one spouse has more than enough income at his or her disposal, that doesn&rsquo;t mean that you always have to spend money on activities as a couple.</p> <p>Start changing the way you think about spending time together, and try to eliminate the money factor several times a month. No matter where you live, there are <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/from-5-to-30-date-ideas-for-every-budget">fun and free activities</a> perfect for facilitating togetherness &mdash; all you have to do is look for them. You&rsquo;ll soon find that it doesn&rsquo;t cost a dime to spend quality time together &mdash; which leaves all the more money to send to your slush fund or savings account.</p> <h2>5. Think About a Second Job</h2> <p>If you&rsquo;re the lower earner and your inability to bring in as much income as your spouse is really weighing on you, consider picking up a <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/9-ways-to-earn-extra-cash-when-money-is-tight">part-time job or freelance gig</a>. The higher earner will be proud of you for being proactive about your financial situation, and you&rsquo;ll lessen the stress you put on yourself worrying about money issues. There are plenty of side jobs out there for people with special skills &mdash; like graphic design or handy work &mdash; or you can go on the hunt for something more permanent in your area.</p> <h2>6. Earn More by Doing More</h2> <p>Another great way to contribute to the relationship &mdash; even when you can&rsquo;t do it financially &mdash; is to contribute physically. If your spouse makes more and pays a higher percentage of the bills based on that higher income, show your gratitude by <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/chore-time-allowances-for-adults">taking on more of the household chores</a>. In the working world, those chores are assigned a monetary value, which means the time you put into them is worth money. Even though you won&rsquo;t get paid for it, the value the extra work on your part brings will show your spouse that you value your relationship and that you appreciate his or her financial support.</p> <p><em>Are you the higher or lower earner in your relationship? How do you make it work? What tips can you offer? Let me know in the comments below.</em></p> <br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">This article is from <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/mikey-rox">Mikey Rox</a> of <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/making-a-relationship-work-when-one-partner-earns-more">Wise Bread</a>, an award-winning personal finance and <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/credit-cards">credit card comparison</a> website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:</div><div class="view view-similarterms view-id-similarterms view-display-id-block_2 view-dom-id-1"> <div class="view-content"> <div class="item-list"> <ul> <li class="views-row views-row-1 views-row-odd views-row-first"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/should-a-second-marriage-be-celebrated-and-paid-for-like-the-first">Should a Second Marriage Be Celebrated (and Paid for) Like the First?</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-2 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/are-you-and-your-spouse-planning-the-same-retirement">Are You and Your Spouse Planning the Same Retirement?</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-3 views-row-odd"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/6-ways-to-save-money-on-family-road-trips">6 Ways to Save Money on Family Road Trips</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-4 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/how-to-travel-full-time-for-17000-a-year-or-less">How to Travel Full-Time for $17,000 a Year (or Less!)</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-5 views-row-odd views-row-last"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/9-skills-that-will-be-obsolete-soon">9 Skills That Will Be Obsolete Soon</a></span> </div> </li> </ul> </div> </div> </div> </div><br/></br> Lifestyle joint accounts marriage and finances personal relationships Wed, 02 Jan 2013 10:48:37 +0000 Mikey Rox 960250 at http://www.wisebread.com 10 Tips for Balancing Love and Money http://www.wisebread.com/10-tips-for-balancing-love-and-money <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/10-tips-for-balancing-love-and-money" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://wisebread.killeracesmedia.netdna-cdn.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/4983321294_fd4fe79275_z.jpg" alt="couple with cats" title="couple with cats" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="250" height="166" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p>It's a sad but common tune: <a href="http://www.savvysugar.com/Maxed-Out-Debt-Threatens-Divide-Couple-1873165">debt threatens to divide or break up an otherwise strong couple</a> that hadn't set up any financial ground rules. Love and money don't always go hand in hand, which means it's crucial to consider the long term repercussions of sharing your life and bank account with another person. There's no magical credit card or anti-debt potion, but here are some tips for keeping the communication lines open, the piggy bank full, and both of you crazy in love.</p> <p><a href="http://www.savvysugar.com/How-Divide-Expenses-Couple-21473777">RELATED: 4 Ways to Divide and Conquer Expenses as a Couple</a></p> <h3>Discuss and Share Your Financial Goals</h3> <p>Before you get married or move in together you should tackle the tough questions, so both of you know what to expect and aren't shocked years down the road. If things are really serious, make sure to discuss your savings tactics and goals, debt, plans for providing for children and retirement plans. If you're not picking out dresses yet, discuss monthly and yearly expenses like housing, bills, and lifestyle and entertainment expenses.</p> <p>Most SavvySugar readers say they <a href="http://www.savvysugar.com/1724058" rel="nofollow">wouldn't get a joint checking account with their boyfriend</a>, but they might get one to pay for bills. Discuss the idea with your significant other.</p> <h3>Make a Joint Spending Plan</h3> <p>Make a spending plan together. Combining money means you need to communicate about how it is put to use. I recommend using a money management site like <a href="http://www.mint.com/" rel="nofollow">Mint.com</a>, which will categorize your expenses and give you both a realistic picture of which areas could be targeted to trim costs.</p> <p>Check out my <a href="http://www.savvysugar.com/1886766" rel="nofollow">guide to managing money as a couple</a> for additional suggestions.</p> <h3>Find a Comfortable Balance</h3> <p>If one of you earns significantly more, talk about it instead of skirting around the difference. Figure out a fair way to cover expenses like meals and rent that works for both of you. Many of the couples I know opt for a sort of sliding scale payment plan, where you pay what you can afford instead of splitting evenly or placing the financial burden on one partner.</p> <h3>Save Room for Your Love</h3> <p>When you've gotten a handle on affording your everyday, expected expenses, begin to build up your savings in a high-interest savings account. Start putting some money toward an emergency fund and fit your monthly savings goals into your overall budget plan to avoid the excuse of not being able to afford to save.</p> <p>Check out my <a href="http://www.savvysugar.com/1886766" rel="nofollow">guide to managing money as a couple</a> for additional suggestions.</p> <h3>Be Honest About Spending</h3> <p>Be upfront about your shopping and spending habits. You shouldn't have to hide your purchases, but establish some ground rules and be honest. If you go shopping every payday and hate that your significant other makes fun of you for it, tell him. You shouldn't criticize little purchases your partner makes either, as long as they aren't adversely affecting your money. Savings is a marathon, not a sprint. There should be some wiggle room.</p> <h3>Manage Money as a Couple</h3> <p>If you are married or deeply committed, open another account just for your fixed, non-negotiable expenses, and immediately transfer the money when you're paid. Set it up so the transfer happens automatically, and neither of you will be tempted to spend that money on other things.</p> <p>Check out my <a href="http://www.savvysugar.com/1886766" rel="nofollow">guide to managing money as a couple</a> for additional suggestions.</p> <h3>Being Broke Ain't a Joke</h3> <p>If you run into a financial crisis and regularly share expenses with your partner, tell them immediately. If you are co-dependent, it's important your partner knows what to expect and how to support you. Together you can create a plan of action, whether it means one of you taking on additional expenses, cutting back on luxuries, or making a larger life change like downsizing to a smaller place or getting an additional job.</p> <h3>Discuss Credit Fears and History</h3> <p>Many women worry about their boyfriend's credit and how it might affect their credit if and when they tie the knot. In a nutshell, nothing happens to your credit when you get married. Your credit history is yours to keep, but it's important that you continue using the cards you already have in your name so that your credit history stays active. Your names will never appear on a credit report together &mdash; reports are generated for individuals only. However, if you and your husband open any joint accounts together, those will appear on both of your credit reports.</p> <p>While there is no such thing as &quot;our credit score,&quot; your husband's credit could affect you (but not your credit score) because both of your scores are considered when you apply for joint accounts or a mortgage loan. You might be faced with higher interest rates on these joint finances than if you applied for them on your own.</p> <h3>Trim Expenses Together</h3> <p>While being in a couple may mean you have a larger spending budget, challenge one another to trim unnecessary expenses together. Make major home or luxury purchases or travel decisions together and set an achievable goal, like a romantic weekend getaway, dream vacation or buying a home, as an incentive savings goal.</p> <h3>Maintain Your Independence</h3> <p>You may love your partner more than anyone on this earth, but you should always put yourself first. I suggest you maintain your savings as if you were single and insure you have a rainy day stash. You don't have to be secretive about your savings: Let your partner know you would like to maintain your own savings and explain why.</p> <div class="field field-type-text field-field-blog-teaser"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> When it comes to money in relationships, love alone isn&#039;t enough to build a life together — it also takes communication and honesty. </div> </div> </div> <div class="field field-type-text field-field-guestpost-blurb"> <div class="field-label">Guest Post Blurb:&nbsp;</div> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <p style="text-align:center;"><a href="http://www.savvysugar.com" style="border:none;"><img src="http://wisebread.killeracesmedia.netdna-cdn.com/files/fruganomics/u4/savvysugar-300-small.jpg" alt="" /></a></p> <p><em>This is a guest contribution from our friends at </em><a href="http://www.savvysugar.com/"><em>SavvySugar</em></a><em>. Check out more useful articles from this partner:</em></p> <ul> <li><a href="http://www.savvysugar.com/Common-Money-Issues-Relationships-6188126">5 Money&nbsp;Issues Every&nbsp;Couple Should Prepare For</a></li> <li><a href="http://www.savvysugar.com/Can-We-Live-One-Income-5759308">How to Determine If You&nbsp;Can Live on&nbsp;One Income</a></li> <li><a href="http://www.savvysugar.com/Newlywed-Tax-Tips-14634721">Tax Stuff Every Newlywed Should Know</a></li> </ul> </div> </div> </div> <br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">This article is from <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/popsugar-smart-living">POPSUGAR Smart Living</a> of <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/10-tips-for-balancing-love-and-money">Wise Bread</a>, an award-winning personal finance and <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/credit-cards">credit card comparison</a> website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:</div><div class="view view-similarterms view-id-similarterms view-display-id-block_2 view-dom-id-2"> <div class="view-content"> <div class="item-list"> <ul> <li class="views-row views-row-1 views-row-odd views-row-first"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/19-frugal-ways-to-entertain-teenagers">19 Frugal Ways to Entertain Teenagers</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-2 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/from-0-to-18-frugal-tips-for-every-year-of-your-child-s-life">From 0 to 18: Frugal Tips for Every Year of Your Child’s Life</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-3 views-row-odd"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/heres-how-delaying-marriage-or-kids-saves-you-money">Here&#039;s How Delaying Marriage or Kids Saves You Money</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-4 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/how-a-big-family-survives-in-a-home-with-one-bathroom">How a Big Family Survives in a Home With One Bathroom</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-5 views-row-odd views-row-last"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/make-love-not-money-sort-of">Make Love, Not Money (Sort Of)</a></span> </div> </li> </ul> </div> </div> </div> </div><br/></br> Frugal Living Family Dating marriage and finances relationships sharing Thu, 15 Mar 2012 10:36:12 +0000 POPSUGAR Smart Living 911526 at http://www.wisebread.com 5 Ways Newlyweds Screw Up Money Management http://www.wisebread.com/5-ways-newlyweds-screw-up-money-management <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/5-ways-newlyweds-screw-up-money-management" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://wisebread.killeracesmedia.netdna-cdn.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/just married.jpg" alt="Newlyweds" title="Newlyweds" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="250" height="167" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p>My fiance and I are in the waning days of what seems like the longest engagement in relationship history.</p> <p>Considering that we're paying for our own wedding, my fiance and I have talked a lot about finances the last two years. In fact, looking back on the process, that constant communication is actually one of the best things to come from footing the bill ourselves. We've had no choice but to make tough choices and talk honestly about where we were, where we are, and where we're heading financially.</p> <p>Turns out not every couple is so lucky. Academics might always debate whether <a href="http://articles.moneycentral.msn.com/CollegeAndFamily/SuddenlySingle/MoneyIsntTheCulpritInMostDivorces.aspx">money is really the leading driver</a> of divorces, but there's no doubt it plays a part, if not a starring role, in many separations and splits each year.</p> <p>I'm still pulling for the fairytale ending, but to be sure, I started poking around into some of the common mistakes newlyweds make when it comes to money. Here's a look at five of the big ones. (See also: <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/how-to-be-happy-and-married-24-tips-from-a-24-year-old-marriage">How to Be Happy and Married: 24 Tips From a 24-Year-Old Marriage</a>)</p> <h3>1. Not Talking Money With Your Spouse</h3> <p>Avoiding the topic altogether is a sure fire way to fail in post-nuptial finances. Discuss your financial goals, burdens, and budget ideas well before you head down the aisle, or if not, as soon as possible post-honeymoon. If you&rsquo;re coming into the marriage with a lot of debt, whether from student loans or credit cards, you at least need to be upfront about it with your partner. This applies before and during the marriage as new issues emerge.</p> <h3>2. Giving One Person All the Power</h3> <p>When you have to decide who will physically pay the bills, file the taxes, watch your investments and accounts, and make sure you stay on budget, it&rsquo;s wise to not put all these eggs in one partner&rsquo;s basket. While one person can take primary responsibility for such tasks, the other spouse should always maintain involvement and awareness when it comes to money matters. In case something happens to you or your spouse, you should both be aware of your account information, passwords, bill due dates, and any other necessary financial information.</p> <h3>3. Not Creating a Budget or Joint Financial Plan</h3> <p>It&rsquo;s not easy to merge two incomes, spending habits, and saving habits into one household, so it&rsquo;s essential to draft a basic budget plan early in your marriage &mdash; or even before if possible. Start with a basic budget worksheet, in which you detail your income; essential expenses such as rent or a house payment, food, and insurance; and flexible expenses. Track your spending as a couple for several months and revisit the budget, tweaking if necessary to make sure it works in practice</p> <h3>4. Fighting Over Small Money Matters</h3> <p>Picking your battles can be one of the toughest things to do in any relationship, but when it comes to money in a new marriage, it is critical to keep you both sane and from going broke. There will be plenty of ironing out to do as you merge your pocketbooks, but arguing with your spouse because they spent 50 cents extra on a box of brand-name popsicles won&rsquo;t make the process easy for either of you.</p> <h3>5. Not Preparing for Emergencies</h3> <p>There&rsquo;s no way you can mentally, physically, and fiscally prepare for every possible scenario to confront you as a married couple, but <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/figuring-the-size-of-your-emergency-fund">saving some dollars for a rainy day</a> is always helpful. This may be hard to do as you&rsquo;re paying off a wedding or any other pre-marriage debt you may have; but starting small and then building up as you can, making sure saving is a routine part of your marriage will be incredibly helpful in the long term.</p> <p><em>This list is by no means exhaustive, so please feel free to share your advice and experience below.</em></p> <br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">This article is from <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/chris-birk">Chris Birk</a> of <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/5-ways-newlyweds-screw-up-money-management">Wise Bread</a>, an award-winning personal finance and <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/credit-cards">credit card comparison</a> website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:</div><div class="view view-similarterms view-id-similarterms view-display-id-block_2 view-dom-id-3"> <div class="view-content"> <div class="item-list"> <ul> <li class="views-row views-row-1 views-row-odd views-row-first"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/5-ways-to-make-adoption-affordable">5 Ways to Make Adoption Affordable</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-2 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/when-should-you-say-no-to-those-who-want-to-borrow-money-from-you">When Should You Say No to Those Who Want to Borrow Money from You?</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-3 views-row-odd"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/how-much-should-your-kids-know-about-your-finances">How Much Should Your Kids Know About Your Finances?</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-4 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/can-you-afford-to-have-a-baby">Can You Afford to Have a Baby?</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-5 views-row-odd views-row-last"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/3-reasons-not-to-save-for-your-childs-college-fund">3 Reasons Not to Save for Your Child&#039;s College Fund</a></span> </div> </li> </ul> </div> </div> </div> </div><br/></br> Personal Finance Family couples banking marriage and finances Mistakes Fri, 16 Sep 2011 10:24:21 +0000 Chris Birk 707140 at http://www.wisebread.com Should a Second Marriage Be Celebrated (and Paid for) Like the First? http://www.wisebread.com/should-a-second-marriage-be-celebrated-and-paid-for-like-the-first <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/should-a-second-marriage-be-celebrated-and-paid-for-like-the-first" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://wisebread.killeracesmedia.netdna-cdn.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/3525978742_b0264eb121_zcr.jpg" alt="" title="" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="250" height="141" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p>We recently had occasion to be in a wedding &mdash; a second wedding for the bride and groom. While I'm all about celebrating the union between two individuals, I couldn't help but question whether we really had to celebrate it with the same gusto that we did just a few years prior for this individual's first wedding. I'm not knocking re-marriages. After all, half of American marriages end up in divorce, so a second marriage is quite typical. In some cases, I've seen some couples that treat a second marriage as more of a formality, rather than a unique life experience that requires all the bells and whistles, while others treat it as if it's the first time &mdash; and then some.</p> <p>Here were some questions I had for my wife, who was treating the second wedding as if it were the same as a first wedding (from our budgetary perspective):</p> <h3>Engagement Party/Wedding Shower</h3> <p>For first-time newlyweds, starting a life together often means making do on meager salaries while trying to enjoy some travel time together and celebrate being young and married. It's nice to have a party or shower where you receive gifts for the house and everyday living, and this is reciprocated for all your friends and family that end up getting married themselves.&nbsp; But by a second go-around, they were already given a bunch of gifts. Is a new round of gift-giving appropriate or over the top? Perhaps a nice toned-down celebration without large gift expectations and registries? Maybe it's just me, but I felt like I just did that, and now we had to do it again. (See also: <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/8-tips-for-planning-a-last-minute-wedding" title="8 Tips for Planning a Last-Minute Wedding">8 Tips for Planning a Last-Minute Wedding</a>)</p> <h3>Bachelorette Party<strong> </strong></h3> <p>We're all familiar with the rite of passage just before the wedding day where the bride and groom to-be &quot;get it all out of their system.&quot; I get that. But if you already got it out of your system a few years ago, is an extravagant and expensive bachelorette party really necessary? Perhaps a nice local bar, drinks with the girls, and a fun night out makes sense &mdash; heck, that's good for any occasion. But going into the city, limos, new dresses, hair, and all the accouterments really add up &mdash; twice. &nbsp;Not to sound one-sided, this same concept applies to the bachelor party as well. I just happened to be viewing this from someone on my wife's side.&nbsp; But if you're both close the the new bride and groom, it could very well be a double-whammy from that standpoint as well.&nbsp; If you saw <em>The Hangover</em>, you know how expensive a Bachelor party can be!</p> <h3>Wedding Gift</h3> <p>Where we live, a typical wedding gift is usually at least $100 per head and more for close friends and family. Is it unreasonable to give less for a second wedding if we already gave a generous gift the first time? I lost that one, not that I fought too hard.&nbsp; I never want to look cheap, especially with family and friends, since something like a cheap wedding gift can cause bad blood and bickering for a lifetime. But if you were hosting a second wedding, would you expect a gift of the same financial value as your first wedding? I'm genuinely curious.</p> <h3>Money Spent to Host the Wedding</h3> <p>Since this one didn't impact our personal budget specifically, I didn't complain to my wife about what someone else spent. But in thinking about what's reasonable and what other people would do, I was curious what people think about money spent on a second wedding. With the high cost of traditional weddings, does it make financial sense to do another traditional wedding each time? Many of the participants have already celebrated your wedding previously, and after accounting for divorce costs, transitioning into a new financial situation and other uncertainties, perhaps spending over $20,000 again isn't the best move? After all, there are several <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/alternative-wedding-ideas-for-big-savings">alternative wedding ideas</a> to save money while celebrating. And it can become costly for attendees as well. Not to be facetious, but where do you draw the line between when subsequent weddings are treated differently? I would assume after the first, but maybe that's just me.</p> <p>Before you judge me too harshly as a &quot;second marriage hater,&quot; let me say that I'm all for people being happy and celebrating their unions. I think many second marriages are much more successful and happy than first marriages. People should do what's right for them and do what makes them happy. It's just that for those on the periphery, we've been through your celebration once before &mdash; we've paid our dues! And <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/things-dont-cost-what-they-used-to-10-major-price-shifts-in-2010">things don't cost what they used to</a>. It's a tough time for a lot of people financially right now, and when looking to treat a repeat event as a once-in-a-lifetime celebration, isn't it just a bit over the top?</p> <p><em>What are your thoughts?</em></p> <br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">This article is from <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/darwins-money">Darwins Money</a> of <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/should-a-second-marriage-be-celebrated-and-paid-for-like-the-first">Wise Bread</a>, an award-winning personal finance and <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/credit-cards">credit card comparison</a> website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:</div><div class="view view-similarterms view-id-similarterms view-display-id-block_2 view-dom-id-4"> <div class="view-content"> <div class="item-list"> <ul> <li class="views-row views-row-1 views-row-odd views-row-first"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/making-a-relationship-work-when-one-partner-earns-more">Making a Relationship Work When One Partner Earns More</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-2 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/8-tips-for-planning-a-last-minute-wedding">8 Tips for Planning a Last-Minute Wedding</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-3 views-row-odd"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/how-to-shave-5000-off-your-wedding-expenses">How to Shave $5,000 Off Your Wedding Expenses</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-4 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/alternative-wedding-registry-ideas">Alternative Wedding Registry Ideas</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-5 views-row-odd views-row-last"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/budget-bride-131-savvy-ways-to-cut-wedding-costs">Budget Bride: 131 Savvy Ways to Cut Wedding Costs</a></span> </div> </li> </ul> </div> </div> </div> </div><br/></br> Lifestyle affordable weddings marriage and finances wedding gifts Fri, 21 Jan 2011 13:00:55 +0000 Darwins Money 464311 at http://www.wisebread.com Are You and Your Spouse Planning the Same Retirement? http://www.wisebread.com/are-you-and-your-spouse-planning-the-same-retirement <div class="field field-type-filefield field-field-blog-image"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> <a href="/are-you-and-your-spouse-planning-the-same-retirement" class="imagecache imagecache-250w imagecache-linked imagecache-250w_linked"><img src="http://wisebread.killeracesmedia.netdna-cdn.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/blog-images/are your both on the same retirement page.jpg" alt="retirement hammock" title="retirement hammock" class="imagecache imagecache-250w" width="250" height="188" /></a> </div> </div> </div> <p class="MsoPlainText">You expect to spend your retirement years living in Costa Rica. Your spouse expects to stay local and join the golf club. </p> <p class="MsoPlainText">And you don’t figure this out until the day before you retire. Oops. </p> <p class="MsoPlainText">&nbsp;</p> <h2 class="MsoPlainText">Marriage Killers</h2> <p class="MsoPlainText">There are a few things that tend to take even the most solid of couples by surprise: <strong>weddings, finances, and retirement planning</strong>. </p> <p> <strong>Weddings:</strong> You get engaged to the person of your dreams and look forward to realizing your joint vision of eloping to the Caribbean. You realize to your dismay that the vision was single-sided when you are asked to become a Catholic to satisfy your spouse’s parents’ wishes of a traditional wedding with a guest list of approximately 300. Engaged couples have been known to break up trying to plan their wedding.<br /> <p class="MsoPlainText"><strong>Finances:</strong> Finances aren’t easy to communicate about at the best of times. It is one of the primary reasons for divorce. </p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><strong>Retirement:</strong> By the time two people have stuck in it together through thick and thin to reach retirement, marriage break-up is rare, but it happens. If you realize too late that you and your spouse are on very different pages with regards to what your retirement will look like, you could be on thin ice. </p> <p class="MsoPlainText">&nbsp;</p> <h2 class="MsoPlainText">Just a Few More Years…</h2> <p class="MsoPlainText">Some people spend their whole working lives just “hanging on” until retirement. Somehow they figure that day they stop working, everything will be better. They will have more free time, they won’t be a slave to a desk (or a boss), and will finally get to reap the benefits of a lifetime of hard work. </p> <p class="MsoPlainText">&nbsp;</p> <p class="MsoPlainText"><strong>But what exactly will that retirement look like?</strong> And have you shared your vision with your spouse (and vice versa)? </p> <p class="MsoPlainText">&nbsp;</p> <h2>I’m Not Telling</h2> <p class="MsoPlainText">Some people are very private in nature. The idea of sharing their life’s dreams with a <a href="/how-to-choose-a-financial-planner-yes-you" target="_blank">financial planner</a> sends them running for the hills. What? Talk to a stranger about things I don’t even talk to other family members about? Never. </p> <p class="MsoPlainText">&nbsp;</p> <p class="MsoPlainText">But without some form of communication about retirement, you could find those precious years of leisure wasting away as you and your spouse struggle to find a common ground to enjoy your golden years on. And talking to a financial planner is a great way to open the lines of communication. Not only do they have the tools to help you reach your goals effectively, but they can quarterback the plan and provide perspective and guidance where it is needed. </p> <p class="MsoPlainText">&nbsp;</p> <p class="MsoPlainText">If however, you are still unable to share this personal side of yourselves with an outsider, then <strong>here are a few questions for you and your spouse to discuss to get the wheels turning:</strong></p> <p class="MsoPlainText">&nbsp;</p> <ul> <li><strong>What will an average day look like</strong> for us when we’re retired? </li> <li><strong>Where will we live</strong>? What will our home be like? </li> <li><strong>What activities or hobbies will we enjoy</strong>? Together or separately? </li> <li><strong>How much will it cost</strong>: daily, weekly, monthly, and annually? (Use today’s dollars to make things easy. You can calculate a reasonable rate of inflation to determine the future value pretty easily). </li> <li><strong>What do we have to do now</strong> to make this vision a reality later?</li> </ul> <p class="MsoPlainText">&nbsp;</p> <h2 class="MsoPlainText">Dream A Little</h2> <p class="MsoPlainText">Keeping your nose to the grindstone and not allowing yourself to dream about retirement for whatever reason can make you lose sight of the forest through all the trees pretty quickly. If however, while you are looking towards retirement, you become depressed about having to continue working currently for what seems like eons to go, then maybe it is time to look at a <a href="/looking-for-the-perfect-career-pick-your-favorite-color" target="_blank">new career</a>. Heck – maybe you’ll want to break free of the norm and retire early! (I managed it at the age of 30, without being rich by any stretch. It just took some creativity, lots of flexibility, and a new twist on my definition of retirement). </p> <p class="MsoPlainText">&nbsp;</p> <p class="MsoPlainText">&nbsp;</p> <p class="MsoPlainText">You are never too young to start talking to your spouse about retirement. Because the sooner you both know what you want, the sooner you both can shoot for it, and the sooner you both will get there. </p> <br /><div id="custom_wisebread_footer"><div id="rss_tagline">This article is from <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/nora-dunn">Nora Dunn</a> of <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/are-you-and-your-spouse-planning-the-same-retirement">Wise Bread</a>, an award-winning personal finance and <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/credit-cards">credit card comparison</a> website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:</div><div class="view view-similarterms view-id-similarterms view-display-id-block_2 view-dom-id-5"> <div class="view-content"> <div class="item-list"> <ul> <li class="views-row views-row-1 views-row-odd views-row-first"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/3-ways-your-dog-is-ruining-your-credit-score">3 Ways Your Dog Is Ruining Your Credit Score</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-2 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/when-should-you-say-no-to-those-who-want-to-borrow-money-from-you">When Should You Say No to Those Who Want to Borrow Money from You?</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-3 views-row-odd"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/invest-your-time-in-these-13-things-while-youre-in-your-20s">Invest Your Time in These 13 Things While You&#039;re in Your 20s</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-4 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/chinese-money-habits-how-my-culture-influences-my-attitudes-toward-money">Chinese Money Habits - How My Culture Influences My Attitudes Toward Money</a></span> </div> </li> <li class="views-row views-row-5 views-row-odd views-row-last"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="http://www.wisebread.com/how-big-of-a-house-do-you-really-need">How Big of a House Do You Really Need?</a></span> </div> </li> </ul> </div> </div> </div> </div><br/></br> Personal Finance Lifestyle couples finances marriage and finances retirement planning Mon, 15 Sep 2008 22:05:23 +0000 Nora Dunn 2429 at http://www.wisebread.com