fired

You’re Fired! 20 signs that a pink-slip is coming.

There are two types of employee. One has a good idea of what they do, who they are and what position they play in the company. They are savvy. They know the score. They are under no delusions, and will no doubt leave for another job long before they are ever considered as cannon-fodder.

And then there’s the other kind. The guy who could get Gandhi to hate him. The woman who spends most of her day chatting on the phone to friends or doing online shopping. Or the nice chap in sales who is completely oblivious that the recent merger means his job is now obsolete. They all have Ostrich Syndrome. They couldn’t see a pink slip coming if it was 8ft tall and glowing in the dark, screaming “you’re fired!”

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How to Get Fired

In honor of the recent end of my employment, I thought I'd find some good tips on how to... well, to end your employment! Here are some of my favorites from around the interwebs:

Arrive late for work. Being on time is for wimps. Drag yourself out of bed whenever you feel like it. Stop to run an errand on your way to the office.

Don't forget the coffee. No not for your boss -- for yourself! You're already late so why not stop for a cup of coffee on the way to work?

Don't forget to get a muffin or a roll too (crumbs on your tie look really good).

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