Ugggh, (hic) I justss gotta eat some(hic)thing; my top 10 homemade drunk snacks.
Most of us have been there (when I was in college, I was there 3 times a week during my first year…sorry mum and dad). You go out with your buddies, have a few beers and by the time you get home you could devour a slab of ribs from King Kong’s chest (make those tofu ribs if you’re a veggie). But what’s a frugal drunk to do? Late night snacks can be pricey, and when you’re somewhat tipsy you don’t care. You need cheap, at-home solutions ready to go. Drunk snacks in a jiffy.
As a quick aside, do you know why you get hungry after drinking alcohol? Well, according to a friend of mine who went to medical school, the reason is quite simple.
Alcohol is filled with carbohydrates, which get turned into sugar in the body. This in turn increases your blood sugar level, and your body releases more insulin to deal with it. When you stop drinking your blood sugar is still down from all the insulin, and so the body sends a signal to the brain saying “hey, get some food in here, we need to get our blood sugar levels back to normal.” Thus, you have the drunken munchies, big time.
Now why most of us crave more spicy foods when we’re drunk, that I can’t shed any light on. Maybe it’s the only thing we can taste after all that booze? But whatever the reason, it’s a nice segue into my list of drunk snacks. Some of these may seem gross right now, but when you’re drunk you’ll be all over them. Are they healthy? Hey, gimme a break, this is drunk food.
1: Instant Ramen with chili or curry powder.
Quick, easy, spicy, yummy. Just boil up the Ramen in the usual way, but get rid of the lame seasoning packet and instead add a bunch of chili or curry powder. You need to keep these suckers on the boil until the broth has turned into a thick sauce. Voila, goeey, spicy noodles in 5 mins.
2: Cheese horns.
These are as quick as they get. Take a cheese slice (like a Kraft Single) and roll it into a cone shape, then fill that cone with some ketchup, Tabasco and a dill pickle. Crunchy, spicy, cheesy. Don’t ask me to eat one sober.
3: Ghetto pizza
Really simple this one. Pop some bread in your toaster over. When it starts to toast, remove it and add a little ketchup, a cheese slice and some pepperoni. Back in the toaster oven until the cheese bubbles. Oh yeah baby. (Also works with bagels).
4: Velveeta Queso
Must of us have a bag of chips in the pantry. Make them sing with some easy Velveeta Queso. Just slice up half of a large package of Velveeta and microwave for two mins. Then pour in a small jar of hot salsa, mix well, and microwave again until it starts to bubble. Dip away, but don’t burn yourself on the hot cheese.
5: One pan brekkie
When you stagger home in the wee small hours, this works great. Take a frying pan and put in some frozen sausage links and hash browns, some bacon, and when they all begin to brown, whip up some eggs and pour them in. You’ll get a big fat breakfast omelet in no time.
6: Ghetto Nachos
These are pretty bad. So bad, they’re good. Take a plate of nachos, pour serious amounts of grated cheese over them, add a few dollops of salsa (or if you’re all out, ketchup), sour cream and I sometimes add some sweet pickle relish. It’s not bad, honest. Takes about…1 minute.
7: Quick burrito
Take a large flour tortilla, sprinkle grated cheese inside, add some salsa, Tabasco and some of those ready-cooked chicken strips for salads. Roll up and microwave for around 1 minute.
8: Curried eggs
Ideally you’d make these before you leave, but at the very least hard-boil some eggs before you exit for your night out. When you get home, peel and halve the eggs, scoop out the yolks and mix with curry powder, miracle whip and salt ‘n’ pepper. Spoon mixture back into eggs (just like devilled eggs). Considering the steady hand needed to peel and fill the eggs, I’d make these beforehand. Really tasty and cheap.
Do I need to tell you how to make these? Didn't think so. But, a few pointers. Make sure you use good chocolate with a high cocoa content, and for fast, even melting I use the mini-marshmallows. I also prefer the cinnamon graham crackers.
10: Poor man’s gyro
Take one pitta, fill with some sliced sandwich meat (beef), chopped tomatoes, plain yogurt and a splash of lemon juice (or actual Tzatziki sauce if you have some in).
This is just my weird (and some think wonderful…but not many) list; I know you all have great suggestions. So, send them this way. Share your culinary experimentation with us all and help out a few drunken snack-attackers.
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