new car

I thought of that one about three hours after I got my speeding ticket. Clever huh?

"What if", I thought "I'd told the police officer that I had a seriously bad case of stomach flu and I needed to get to a bathroom quickly before I ruined the fabric permanently on my new Civic?" Would that work? Could you do better? How about you send in your ideas and I'll give the best one a little prize.

I was actually going to write a very long, serious article about beating a speeding ticket, but I thought better of it. After all, I was speeding. Not by much, and in a speed trap to be honest, but I'm a grown man who can read signs. And 99% of the time, we're at fault anyway. I suspect most of us would fail our test if we had to take it again today.

But I thought it would be a fun idea to see what wonderful, crazy, absurd ideas the good Wisebread readers have thought about to get out of a speeding ticket. Of course, being female helps. I'm sorry if that sounds sexist but I did a straw poll at work. Of all the folks who had been caught speeding, the ladies have been given a warning far more times than the guys. In fact, only 1 guy in the whole department of 78 people had been let off. Compare that to EVERY woman who had been let off at least once in her life. Why? Maybe a cop can write in and answer that one.

HOW TO ENTER:
Just leave your whacky idea as a comment in this blog post, and use your real email address (which will not be displayed publicly, no worries). They can be as off-the-wall nuts as you like (but keep it clean folks). I'll get together with the WB head-honchos and we'll decide who gets the rather fabulous prize of a Mini RC car. Hey ok, so it's not all that fab. But it will get you into less trouble than a real car. You've all got until April 13th at 11.59pm to get your answers in. Have fun with it, and I look forward to seeing the results. I already gave you the diarrhea idea, but here are a few more I thought may work...

  1. I'm sorry officer, I have a split personality and my alter-ego Jock was speeding.
  2. I wasn't speeding. The rotation of the Earth momentarily accelerated.
  3. You know, I gave $20 to the police officers fund this year. Wink.
  4. Speeding? There's no way I could be speeding, I'm way too high to do that.
  5. Is that a speed gun in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me? (oh, it's a speed gun)

And remember, if you're serious about winning the little car, make sure you use a real email address so we can inform you that you've won and you're very smart and very clever and could indeed sell ice to Eskimos.